Hey people! Sorry for the late, I had a really busy (and awesome) week and I almost had no time to write!
This is kind of like the first two chapters, canon, about present time, angstier than the past few chapters, hope you enjoy it anyway! Word suggested by the lovely Erin (Your Worst Nightmare -x-)
As always, thanks to my lovely beta Shin/Bonesbird for check and feedback, with whom I really have to catch up, she's way faster than I am with her Criminal Minds series "Alphabet"!
And, as always, Bones is not mine. It would be awesome if it were, though!

Fading

Six months. Six months without her. Six months without seeing her, working with her, bickering with her, even without speaking to her. And his feelings for her were still as strong as they were when he last saw her, walking away from him in a crowded airport. And that was an understatement. Not even one word in six months, not even a glimpse of her wonderful eyes through a flickering webcam because they were half a world apart.

He had tried not to think about her. He had tried to forget her, move on and only do the job he went there to do. But he didn't manage it. Whenever he closed his eyes, her face was all he was able to see. Whenever he heard a woman laughing he turned to see if she was there. These months apart were not working as he hoped they would. And yeah, he missed her so much, he missed her as if half of his heart and one of his lungs had been ripped off and sent to those islands with her. He had to chuckle as he imagined what she would say if he had said those things out loud.

"You know it's not possible to survive with only half heart, Booth. And living with only one lung it's possible but it would make your life difficult and complicated." she would say with her squinty tone she got when she was explaining something to him.

But that's exactly what he was feeling, right? Moving on with his life without her felt like living with only one lung. With every breath he missed her, with every breath he felt her absence, her distance.

People have been telling him that after a long time apart feelings started to fade. Not true at all. Quite the opposite actually. He never understood better than he did in that moment the famous saying 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder'. Nothing ever felt truer. His feelings weren't fading away, they were stronger and stronger every day, even if he really didn't want that. He knew he had to forget about her, about his feelings, about the future he kept dreaming. He just knew it, But he couldn't help it.

He thought about Hannah, the wonderful gorgeous woman who was constantly hitting on him since day one. He liked her, he really wanted to like her and to let himself like her, but it was difficult.

They never argued. She was a devout catholic. She wanted to settle down and have a family just like he did. They shared the same life beliefs and goals.

They were a perfect match. She was the perfect woman for him.

Except.

Her hair wasn't auburn, her eyes weren't that wonderful shade of aqua blue he could stare at for hours and always see different things. He had no nickname for her and she didn't call him by his last name, she thought Seeley was cute. She didn't know anything about him. He didn't know anything about her. They didn't save each other's lives too many times to count. They haven't hugged and cried on each other's shoulder just because they needed it. He had never dreamed about a future with her. Her voice wasn't the first thing he wanted to hear in the morning and the last one at night.

He could say whatever he wanted but he couldn't lie to his heart. She wasn't the one he was in love with. Not even close.

He knew that if he accepted her wooing he would end up nicely, with a family, a couple of kids and a white picket fence. But all of that didn't really matter anymore. It had stopped mattering the moment his partner told him she didn't want that. Because yeah, he did want those things, but he realized that he wanted her way more. Just as she was. But now… now his new fantasy, the fantasy of a future with her, just her, was fading further and further away every day. No, not his feelings, but the possibility of that fantasy actually happening.

Maybe he should try with Hannah. Maybe that was his second best chance of being happy. Once again he would have to settle for second best. And just maybe he would be able to love her.

Although he knew, he would never be as much in love with her as he was with his stubborn and fleeting partner. He had always believed that one person could love many people, but could be in love just with one. And he had already found that one special person. Even if nothing would ever happen between them anymore, his heart belonged to her. That love, those feeling weren't going to fade anytime soon.

He could try to settle for second best. But one thing was absolutely certain.

Hannah would have to learn how to share.

Did you like it? Didn't? Don't forget to let me know! Any suggestions for G-words? :D