Chapter 3
It was like someone had stabbed her in her chest and twisted the knife around when she had heard Jason say those words. She'd seen Milo looking at her with pity in his eyes and she just had to get away, so she did. She made her way down to the car and started driving, but soon she couldn't see through the tears and she pulled the car to the side. She didn't want to get in an accident because she was too stupid to think straight, so she parked the car on the side of the road and stepped out. She noticed she was at the docks and she made her way to the water, where she stared over it looking at the sun touching the water. She always felt like she could only really think near water, and she felt herself calm down a little just staring at it.
As soon as she turned around to go back to the car, she stumbled and she felt a pair of arms hold her up. She closed her eyes and didn't look who it was until the back of her knees hit the bench, and she realized the person had led her there, so she collapsed on top of it and took a shaky breath. ''Hey, you're Sam right?'' she heard the voice of a woman ask, and she nodded before she looked up. The woman was tall and curvy, and she was smiling down at Sam until she sat down. She was blonde, and Sam had the feeling she had seen her before.
''Did – who are you?'' she asked, and she felt a sob rise in her throat again. She didn't know what it was – maybe it was the hormones – but she really couldn't help it, she couldn't stop crying.
''I'm Carly Jacks – Jason's best friend,'' the woman said, and Sam nodded. Now she remembered seeing Carly with Jason before at the courthouse, and she smiled at the woman. ''I see you're upset, and I would love to know what it's about, but I'm not going to ask. Do you want me to bring you home?'' Carly asked, and Sam shook her head.
''No – thank you, but I just want to stay here for a while,'' Sam replied softly, and Carly nodded. When she sat back, Sam looked at her in surprise, and Carly smiled.
''You think I'd leave you here and get Jason on my back for leaving you all by yourself – on the docks and upset? No way am I risking it,'' Carly said, and Sam chuckled a little and wiped away her tears.
''Jason wouldn't care if you left me here alone – he's way to busy,'' she whispered, and Carly frowned. She knew what Carly must think, but she looked away because she didn't want to see the look on the other woman's face.
''What in gods name are you talking about woman? That man loves you!'' Carly almost yelled, and Sam jumped up. She frowned at Carly but didn't say anything. ''Come on, what are you talking about? I've seen the way he looks at you – remember the courthouse?'' Carly continued, and Sam nodded. She remembered the courthouse, and she didn't want to talk about it.
''You know what – I think I'm going to go home right now. I don't feel like talking – but thanks anyway,'' Sam said, and Carly sighed. Sam knew she was frustrated, but she really didn't want to talk about Jason and Jenna. ''Look, I know you're Jason's best friend, but you've seen the way he is with Jenna, and maybe they deserve each other, but right now I don't feel like talking about it, ok?'' Sam said, frustrated herself, as she stomped away. She heard Carly start to follow her, but she glared behind her and kept on moving. She didn't need anyone to help her, or to bring her home. She could get home just fine.
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Jason looked around him and felt like his head was exploding. He saw Jenna on the chair next to the couch looking at him and he frowned. What happened? ''You're awake,'' she said, and he grabbed his head when it started pounding even worse.
''What the hell happened?'' he snapped, but she didn't even flinch. ''Jenna tell me what happened?''
''You were drunk, and you started rambling about Sam and then you passed out,'' Jenna replied, and Jason frowned. He was never drunk – why would he drink too much when he knew he should have gone to Kelly's? ''You got a call, and when I saw it was Max, I told him we would make it tonight – but he told me Sam left the cottage to go here,'' she added, and he shot up from his position even if his head felt like it was going to explode, and he walked to the door and pulled it open. Milo stood there, and when he looked at Jason he frowned.
''Can I help you boss?'' he asked, and Jason closed his eyes and nodded. ''What can I do for you?'' he heard Milo ask when he didn't reply. He opened his eyes and took a shaky breath, feeling the nausea creep up.
''Did Sam come by?'' he asked Milo, who shook his head. ''Are you sure, Milo?'' he asked, and Milo shook his head again. Jason cursed under his breath, and somehow he was glad she didn't come by. He didn't – he wouldn't want her to see him like he was before, because he remembered what happened. He had been drunk and he had rambled about Sam, but Jenna hadn't said anything to stop him. He had stumbled to the couch and had pulled Jenna on top of him, and he was ashamed for his behavior. So he walked back in and stared at her for a moment.
''So you want me to make you some coffee or something?'' Jenna asked, and he shrugged. When she got up he stopped her from walking away, and she looked at him in confusion.
''I'm sorry about what happened – I didn't mean to do that, and I should've stopped drinking when you said to stop,'' he apologized, and she nodded and smiled at him. ''There's no excuse for what I did but I hope you'll forgive me,'' he added, and she sighed.
''Damn Jason, you didn't do anything wrong, ok? You were drunk and yeah, you shouldn't have pulled me on top of you but you didn't do anything – because before you could think about it you passed out,'' she said, and he nodded. He closed his eyes and let her go, and he could hear her walk around the kitchen trying to find the stuff she needed to make coffee. He followed her, grabbed the stuff she needed and handed it to her. He didn't feel up to making coffee. ''You go take a shower and come back down for a cup of coffee,'' Jenna said without looking at him, and he nodded. He sighed as he made his way up the stairs, and when he got to the bathroom he turned on the shower and grabbed the things he needed. He didn't want to take too long, but when he felt the hot water on his body he couldn't help but close his eyes for a couple of moments and forget everything. Forget what just happened and forget the situation with Sam for a moment, and when he did, he felt better. He washed his hair and his body, and then he rinsed it off and turned off the shower. He needed to get down to get a cup of coffee. He dried off and got dressed in his usual jeans and black shirt, and went down to the kitchen. He saw Jenna sitting at the kitchen table and he smiled at her.
''So thank you,'' he started and he moved to the counter and grabbed a cup. After he poured himself the coffee he moved back to the table and sat down opposite of Jenna. ''I fell better already,'' he added, and she smiled.
''Good, and after that cup of coffee you will feel even better, and then I'm going to go home – I'm exhausted,'' she told him, and he nodded.
''You don't have to stay if you want to go home – I can take care of myself and if I can't, I can always call one of the guards,'' he told her, and she nodded with a small smile.
''Sure – I'm just going to go then,'' she said, and he nodded. He got up as she did, and he walked her out. ''I'll see you later,'' she said, and he nodded.
''Later – sleep tight,'' he replied, and hugged her briefly. ''Be careful on the way back,'' he told her, and she nodded as she made her way to the elevator. Before she stepped in she waved and he smiled at her and walked back into his apartment and closed the door behind him. What was he going to do about Sam? He wanted to see her, but he didn't know if he should just call her – not after she asked him for space. And what was she thinking going over here? So with the phone in his hand he thought about calling her.
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Sam parked the car in the spot in front of the cottage and got out slowly, grabbing her things on the way out. After talking with Carly she had been driving around for a while, feeling calmer but still not calm enough to return home. She opened the front door and closed it softly behind her, hoping Max wouldn't take notice, but when she turned around he was staring at her. ''Where the hell have you been? Jason was out cold in his penthouse and Jenna answered the phone saying you hadn't been by,'' he snapped at her, and she jumped.
''What's wrong with you? You're not my father,'' she snapped back, and he took a step back and looked down. ''I went by Jason's but Milo told me he had a visitor,'' she lied, and Max frowned.
''Yeah, Jenna didn't say anything about it,'' he replied, and she shrugged. She tried to move passed him to the couch but he took a step and blocked her way. ''What aren't you telling me Sam?'' he asked, and she sighed.
''When Milo told me Jason had a visitor I went to the docks, looked out over the water for a moment and went back and drove around sometime,'' she told him, and he nodded. She turned around and blinked a couple of times when she felt the tears build up again. ''I'm going to bed,'' she whispered, and she walked back to her room. Max looked at her for a moment before grabbing her arm and turning her around.
''This is not you, Sam. Tell me what's going on,'' he said, and she shook her head, feeling the concern wash off of him and he looked down and sighed. He pulled her to the couch and pushed her down gently, and then he sat down next to her. ''You always tell what's on your mind and I don't understand…''
''Max, let me tell you this – I think it's time for me to go back. I can call my grandmother and she will help me pick up my life,'' she said softly, and Max shook his head and widened his eyes.
''You never liked your – o wait, you mean that other woman?'' he asked her, and she nodded. Her grandmother – her biological grandmother – was a bitch, as were her parents, but she'd met an old woman and both felt pulled to each other. Kirsten, as the woman was named, had told her to come to her whenever she felt like she needed help, and right now she felt like it.
''I want to go to New York to see her, and I can always come back later,'' she told him, and he nodded. ''You know, with everything that happened with Jason and Jenna,'' she started, but choked up thinking about the two. She cleared her throat and continued, ''I just need someone I can trust and who understands me,'' she added, and Max looked down, and seemed to think about what she just said.
''You know, I think you're right – you need to get some sleep and I'll bring you to Kirsten,'' he said, and she smiled at him. ''I love you, and I know you've been having a hard time and Jason isn't helping matters either, so I'll bring you there,'' he told her again, and she nodded.
''Jason isn't been helping no, and when I come back – and I will come back – I'll talk to him,'' she said, and he nodded. ''Can you tell him after you come back? I mean, don't tell him where I am, just tell him I'm visiting a friend or something,'' she said, and he nodded again.
''I'll tell him, and the only thing I'm asking of you is that you call me if there is something wrong – no wait, just call me no matter what, every night,'' he told her, and she smiled and nodded. She could do that.
''I'm going to bed,'' she said, and he nodded and smiled at her as she got up and walked to her room. She grabbed her little duffle bag and noticed not everything could fit in there, but she had to go to the hospital tomorrow anyway, so she would just buy something that could hold some more. She took her phone out of her pocket and changed into something comfortable to sleep in. She grabbed her phone as she lay on her stomach on the bed and frowned when she saw 3 missed calls and 3 missed messages. She checked who called her and saw it was Jason, and the messages too. Call me back, Jason – was all they said. Just as she was about to reply to them, her phone rang again and she dropped it on the bed in surprise. When she saw it was Jason calling she contemplated letting the phone ring, but she just couldn't. So she picked up, ''hello,'' she said softly, and she could hear him sigh in relief.
''I thought something happened to you – Max called and you weren't anywhere to find,'' he rambled, and she smiled a little at his concern. ''How are you?'' he asked her, and she sighed.
''I'm fine – I didn't go to you, I went to Kelly's and spent some time driving around town,'' she said, lying. She knew he could find out if he wanted to, but she could hear him hum, and she knew he believed her.
''So when can I see you?'' he asked her, and she widened her eyes. ''I miss you, and I want to talk to you,'' he said softly, and she sighed again. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she didn't want to see him before she left. She knew she would break down when she did, and that was not something she didn't want.
''I don't know, Jason. I told you I needed time,'' she replied, and she heard him get up from something – probably the couch – and start to pace. ''Come on, you know it's been hard on me after getting out and I just need some time, don't make this harder Jason,'' she whispered, and it was followed by a silence.
''Sure, ok,'' he said, and then he sighed. ''I'll give you some time, but I don't want you to pull away too much – I know you plan on doing just that,'' he said, and she nodded. She knew he couldn't see her but she also knew he was right. She was pulling away.
''I'm sorry,'' she whispered, just before she hung up. She couldn't deal with Jason right now, because she knew she would break down and she really didn't need that right now. Tomorrow she would go to the hospital and then she would ask Max to bring her to the airport – she wanted to see Kirsten really bad and she also needed some time to herself.
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Jason stared at the phone after Sam had hung up, and he cursed under his breath. He didn't mean to push her, but he couldn't help it. He also thought she sounded different – maybe even like she'd been crying. He placed his phone back in his pocket and then made his way upstairs. He was going to sleep the headache he was still having off, because he didn't feel all too well yet.
Still thinking about Sam he climbed in bed after undressing, and he sighed. He wanted to see her, but after everything he understood why she didn't want him around. He knew it was hard for her out of prison, and she didn't have anyone except Max and him to help her, and he wasn't even there for her. He felt guilty for not going to see her the first week, but he had thought to give her some space. He didn't think she would see it as if he wanted to say he didn't want her, and he didn't mean it that way. He was used to giving people what he thought they wanted, and he had thought she wanted this space.
He thought wrong, because she didn't, and now he had the feeling it was going to take a lot to get her to trust him again. He didn't mind – he wanted her, and he would fight for her until the end.