Chapter 12

Jason sat outside, enjoying the morning's air, and he smiled. The week had gone by fast, and Sam and him had spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other. He'd never been this open to someone about his past, and he knew this was it. Sam was it.

Sam was still asleep – she'd been sick a couple of times in the morning and normally she wouldn't go back to bed, but this morning she did. She'd been dreaming – she didn't want to admit it and she didn't want to talk about it, but he knew she had been. He'd hear her scream in the middle of the night, and he'd pull her close, but it didn't matter. She was afraid of what might happen now she knew Manny was close by, and he couldn't do anything to make her feel safe.

When he'd woken up this morning after she'd stepped out of bed, he was surprised she went back to bed after going to the bathroom. He'd just been about to step out of the bed to help her, be there for her, when she stepped back in and turned to her side. She'd fallen asleep right away, and he had stepped out anyway because he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore. ''Morning, Jase,'' he heard her voice, and he turned around with a smile. She stood there, in her sweats and tank top, with a cup of tea in her hand.

''Good morning,'' he replied, and she smiled at him. He loved seeing her smile, but he could see the smile didn't reach her eyes. He knew he had to find out what it was so he asked, ''tell me about the dreams you've been having?''

''I told you, it's nothing,'' she said quickly, but he stared at her until she sighed and sat down. ''Dreams about the night Manny raped me to dreams about the night I lost my baby girl,'' she told him, and he nodded. He had figured as much, but he'd wanted to hear from her. ''The night he raped me I can remember vividly, but when he kidnapped me and cut out my baby I don't – I imagine sometimes she's still alive somewhere, even though I know it isn't possible,'' she added, and he sighed.

''I didn't know it was a girl,'' he said softly, and she looked at him in surprise. ''You didn't tell me before and I didn't want to ask – I didn't want to bring up any more pain for you, because I know what it's like to loose a baby,'' he told her, and she nodded. He had told her all about Courtney's baby, and all about Michael. Even though Michael was still alive, it was hard to see him while he'd been a father to the boy for a year of his life. The first year of his life.

''I'm sorry – I didn't think about it,'' she said softly, and then took a sip of her tea. ''I wonder what she would be like, Jason. I know she isn't alive but when I dream about her I feel like she is – sometimes even during the day I feel like she's closer than I know,'' she added, and Jason nodded.

''It's probably going to take some time, Sam. You need to give yourself the time to grieve for her and for what happened with Manny. Just believe me when I say this bastard is going to die slow and painful,'' he promised her, and she smiled at him.

''Jason, I know you want to kill Manny, but please don't do it because of me. I'm sure you can protect me, but don't do anything stupid just because of this,'' she said, and he frowned.

''I'm not going to do anything stupid. Even with what happened to you, I still have to kill him – Sonny's orders,'' he told her, and she nodded. He didn't want her to think he wanted to kill Manny just because of what he did to her, but it didn't matter. He knew she could see right through him, because when he looked at her he could see the look on her face. She didn't believe him. ''Ok, you're right,'' he muttered, and she laughed.

''Look, I'm going to take a shower and then I have to get to town to get some grocery – Nan just called,'' she said, and then she looked down. ''Her daughter just died – she had cancer and the doctors had given up on her,'' she added, and he frowned.

''Jenna said something similar when she told me her aunt was sick,'' Jason said, and Sam looked up. She didn't understand what he was saying, ''maybe they are related,'' he said, and she sighed.

''Maybe – but Nan is coming home today, and Dave is bringing her here, and he will stay the night before going back to take care of everything – they want to have her buried here,'' she said, and Jason nodded. He could understand why they wanted her here. This place was amazing, even the small city was peaceful and quiet, and he knew he could spend his days here without having to worry about everything.

''You want me to come with?'' he asked, and she shrugged. ''I mean I can help you pick out some things because I know you don't cook, and you can help me with what Kirsten and Dave like,'' he said, and she nodded.

''I'd love that – it'll be nice having someone with me right now,'' she said softly, and he nodded. ''Well,'' she suddenly said, and she got up and kissed him gently, ''I'm going to take a shower and I'll be ready when you are,'' she said, and he laughed and watched her as she made her way back inside. He looked at her cup and saw she only had taken one sip, and he shook his head. The tea was already cold, so he took it with him to the kitchen and emptied the cup. He had already taken a shower when he had woken up, and because he had seen Sam take care of his wounds a couple of times before, he had rubbed the ointment in himself. He sat down on the chair in the kitchen and waited for Sam to be ready to go.

##########

Sam felt a lot better after taking her shower. When Kirsten had called, she had woken her up and Sam knew it was going to be a rough morning. The morning sickness wasn't only in the mornings, but sometimes it was really bad. With Jason there she could handle it, and she was glad he was there.

After they talked about the hard things that happened, like what happened in the warehouse and what happened with Manny, they had kept it lighter. Sam had told Jason some more about her past, as did Jason. She knew a lot more about Jason and she knew he had been afraid that it would chance the love she felt for him, but it didn't. If anything she loved him even more for opening up.

She made her way back to the living room and saw he was sitting in the kitchen, with his eyes closed. She walked over to him, and stood in front of him. ''Hey,'' she said softly, and he smiled. Suddenly he pulled her on top of him and kissed her gently.

''Hey gorgeous,'' he said softly, and she smiled at him. ''Are you ready to go?'' he asked, and she sighed and nodded. But then suddenly the door opened and Kirsten walked in, with Dave following her. Sam jumped up and ran over to hug both of them, and Jason stood to his feet and nodded to Dave. Kirsten made his way over to him and hugged him, and Sam smiled when she saw the surprised look on his face. Kirsten turned around to Sam and smiled again.

''I invited one of my other grandchildren to stay here for the time being – she just lost her baby and she needed to stay somewhere and rest, but she didn't want to go back home. Dave is going to do some shopping later and we'll stay here and go back tomorrow,'' Kirsten told her, and Sam nodded. ''Dave, I'll get you some money-''

''No, it's ok, Nan, I have money and I'll just be an hour – see you guys then,'' he said, and he walked out the door.

''Jenna is going with Dave – she didn't feel up to meeting someone new right now,'' Kirsten said, and Sam nodded. She remembered how she felt when she had lost her baby, and se understood why Kirsten's granddaughter didn't want to come in right now.

''We can leave if that would make it easier,'' Jason said, and Kirsten immediately shook her head. ''No really, it's ok,'' he added, and she smiled.

''I know, Jason. It's not necessary, she will come in later and she will meet you two. It's no problem, and even though we don't have that much space – you two can just sleep together and Dave will sleep with Jenna – or Jenna will sleep with me,'' she said, and Jason sighed and nodded. Sam knew he wanted to go home, so she grabbed his hand.

''Nan, it's ok. I have an appointment with the doctor soon and I want to get settled in – so we'll go,'' she said softly, and Kirsten frowned.

''If you are sure than its ok with me, but I'd really like it if you came back here sometime,'' she said looking at Jason and Sam. Sam smiled, and Jason nodded.

''We will, I promise,'' he said, and then he looked at Sam. Kirsten sighed and nodded, and Jason took Sam with him to start packing. ''Thank you,'' he said, and she smiled at him and hugged him.

''I love you – and I know you don't want to stay here too long, I know you have you're job and I don't want to keep you for myself too long,'' she said with a smile, and he sighed.

''I love you too,'' he said, and then he grabbed the bags. They started packing, together, and she knew this was going to be alright. Soon they would be home.

##########

''Do you really have an appointment?'' Jason asked her, when they were done packing. She nodded and frowned at him.

''I didn't lie – I just twisted it a bit so we could go home,'' she told him, and he frowned. He had been thinking about it through packing, and he had decided to ask, and now she was giving him this kind of answers? ''I have an appointment in a little over a week – I just didn't say when to Kirsten because I knew you wanted to leave, Jason,'' she said, and he nodded.

''You didn't have to do that for me, you know. We could've stayed if that's what Kirsten wanted or something, but it's just-'' he was interrupted by Sam, who smiled at him and held up her hand.

''Kirsten would want us to stay forever if she had a say in it. She likes you and I'm like a granddaughter. She doesn't want us to leave, but she knows we have to. If I didn't tell her I had an appointment she'd want us to stay here for a lot longer than you or I planned,'' she told him, and he smiled back at her. He finally understood Kirsten a little more, and he kind of loved her for it.

''She really is a great person – and we are going to come back here when everything is calm again, right?'' he said, and she nodded.

''I'd love that. I've been away for way too long, and I really missed her. When I told Max I would go and see her I didn't even think about it,'' she told him, and he nodded. Then he remembered something.

''Where did you meet Max?'' he asked, even though he had asked before. He knew there was more to the story, and when he saw the look on her face he knew he was right.

''Max – at one point after Manny raped me I asked him to be my 'bodyguard', and he was for a while but he had to go away for something. When he returned I was in the hospital and he came to visit me – he helped me get up out of bed in the morning and he and Nan helped me see there was more to life, or something,'' she mumbled, and he nodded. He walked over to her and took her in his arms, and it didn't surprise him when he felt her shake.

''Are you scared?'' he asked her, and he hoped she understood. When she nodded and took a deep breath, he knew she understood what he meant.

''Every day. But I try not to think about it, because if I do, I'm going to stress, and I don't need that right now,'' she replied, and he nodded. He wanted to do something to get the fear away, but he couldn't.

''I am here for you – when you feel scared you can tell me ok? I'll – I don't know what I can do, but I'll be there with you and for you,'' he said softly, ''you are not alone in this, Sam,'' he added, and she nodded and took a deep breath again.

''Thank you – and the same for you – if you're scared I'm here,'' she said, and he nodded. She didn't know how scared he really was, but he didn't want to tell her right now.

''Right now, we need to get packing again, and we can go home in a couple of hours, ok?'' he said, and when she nodded and took a step back, he looked at her. She was calmer, and he was glad he had done something to help her.

''Let's get to it,'' she said with a smile, and she wiped away the last tears on her face. They continued packing and talking about little things.

##########

It didn't take them long and Sam was glad. Jason didn't bring that much, and what he had fit into his duffle bag perfectly. Sam, on the other hand, had taken some more and it was a fight to close her suitcase. ''I didn't know I bought this much here – I only went to town that once and I didn't do much but look…'' she said, and her voice faded at the end.

''I bet you had some trouble closing it before then,'' Jason replied with a smile, and Sam sighed and sat on top of the suitcase. Jason zipped it closed, and Sam sighed of relief. ''Let me get that in the car,'' he said, and she nodded. ''Maybe we can ask Kirsten for some food for on the road,'' he added, and Sam jumped up.

''I'll ask her, you put those bags in the car, please,'' she replied, and he nodded. He grabbed the suitcase and followed Sam out of the bedroom. She heard voices in the kitchen and smiled at Jason. As they turned the corner, she heard Jason drop the suitcase, and she gasped.

''Jenna?'' Jason said, and both Kirsten and Dave turned around with a frown, when Jenna got up and threw herself in Jason's arms. Sam looked at them with wide eyes, and she saw Jason look at her apologetically. ''Jenna – let go,'' he said after a while, and Sam took a step back toward Kirsten.

''You know her?'' she asked Sam, who nodded.

''She was my cellmate,'' Sam whispered, as Jason pushed Jenna off of him.

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