Chapter Two
I don't care what ya say. Dat tape might be accurate. You might have edited it. Fiddled with it using synthesisers or something. I don't care. I'm caught no matter what ya say. I confess my guilt. But it can't tell da whole story. Just what people said. Not their body language. Not Giovanni's thoughts. But I can. I was there and I've known him long enough. Let me do it.
"Why do you think we're talking to you Meowth?"
Sorry. I guess I got a bit carried away. So I go into da boss' office. It's a film noir style set up. Mahogany desk. Leather chairs. A bronze statue of a Ho-oh on da desk. Venetian blinds. Everything in dat room dat can be described with one noun and another noun in front of it, if you see what I mean. So Ben and I walked across da mauve carpet, with da light from da blinds making slanting bars of light across it. Like prison bars I always think when I go in dare. Ben seemed a little nervous. I felt da same when I first joined, and had to report directly to da boss. Now I'm getting used to going up there. Just to be yelled at of course. Da boss is talking on his black phone, which sits with some official-looking papers on his desk. He's got his back to us. We sit down and wait. Our chairs are on da opposite end to his. It's a long room.
"…Get that new guy, Bradley Stuanton is it? Get him on it. Well you could get Ally McBeal, but I suspect she's unavailable…when? What do you mean when? Did someone else take over this company whilst I went to the toilet or something? Does he know who he's dealing with? I'm still in charge I assume? Good. Tell him to get here right now…fine, so I'm in a meeting right now. So get him up here in the next 15 minutes instead…Right. That's it. Put him now…now! Hello? This is Giovanni…you know, the man you do jobs for. Its called 'Working', and when you 'Work' for someone, you do what he says, when he says it. Understand? Busy? Doing what? Redecorating your office? Ok. I admit that is a job I asked you to do. Well done, but I have something of a higher priority here…good. I'm glad you feel that way…well it's a rather delicate matter. It seems there was a battle going on between Team Magma…they're similar to us except their cause is to remove every drop of water from the Earth's surface…how should I know why? Anyway, they often fight with Team Aqua…well surely you've seen the news recently. Or have you been living in isolation on a tropical island for the last…yes. That's them. I'm glad you finally know who we're discussing here…well Magma and Aqua were battling, and one of my employees got caught in the crossfire…dead, yes…well I'm sorry too of course, but it leaves us with a problem. Namely his widow. It seems she wants money from us by way of compensation, or she'll tell…let's just say the thing she'll tell is so secret that I don't even want you to know about it…that's my business. Its not your department…I'm telling you not to worry about it, understand? Good…well I want you to take care of her…I'll contact them if you can't deal with this, but I'd rather we resolved it without any unpleasantness…I don't want to go that far. Understand? Good…what do you mean how? Offer her some money. Just pay her off. Do I have to do everything my self? Use your brain occasionally…good…ok, put Charlton back on…Charlton, hi…no, it's being dealt with. Anything else this half hour? You know I'm getting very sick of how frequent these phone calls are…"
"So am I. Are you going to tell me anything important anytime soon Meowth?"
Sorry. I do tend ta ramble on a bit. As does da boss, as ya can tell. Unfortunately, ya gonna have ta hear a lot of his voice, or at least his words, during dis conversation. I gotta tell da story right. Anyways, eventually he finished on da phone and swung his chair round so he was facing us. He looked da same as usual. I'm sure Ben was intimidated by his appearance at once, as I was long ago. He's just over 6 foot tall, and, though I wouldn't say he's fat, he is certainly heavily built. In da same way as Alec Baldwin you know? He wore a red suit dat day, as he does most of da time. It's like a uniform for him, in da same way da stuff Ben wore in dat office was a uniform. Da suit looks, looked, whatever, like it was very expensive. I dream of wearing something like dat. Except I'm a Meowth and I can't afford one anyway. So much for dat dream. Giovanni was about forty right then. His brown hair was thinning a little. Apart from dat though he made forty look good. His eyes are brown, and I usually see a fierceness in them. Like a certainty dat something bad is about ta happen, dat I normally recognise in my own eyes. Or a eager look in Ben's. Or Jessie's calculating look. Or a sparkle of mischief in James' eyes. Anyway, I don't think there's much else I can say about him. Oh yes, and he has a Persian, which he continually strokes. Like dat James Bond bad guy. I think he does it just because he thinks it's cool. A sleeker, more powerful version of me. Larger. With a jewel on its forehead. It suited him perfectly. There are lots of rumours surrounding Giovanni, and how the organisation was started, but I'll get ta dat. I want ta tell dis tale in a linear way, you know?
"Ben Kails, Meowth, I'd tell you to invite to come in and sit down, but you appear to have already done so. Welcome to the organisation Ben. Can I get my secretary to make you a drink? Some food?" the boss asked.
"No thank you sir."
"Fair enough. The first thing I have to say is to you Ben, then I will answer any questions that you have. After that I would like a private word with Meowth for a few minutes, then I'll call you back in so you can be told about a special mission. One that Team Rocket will be concentrating ninety percent of its resources on from now till the time it's completed. Understand?"
We both confirmed dat we did. Dis is the way we usually operated as an organisation. We would have long periods in which all of us were playing a small part in making some vast, specific achievement. In between these periods it was like every man for himself, as long as the stuff we stole went straight ta the company, instead of into our own pockets. We got paid regularly of course, plus most of us had nowhere else ta go. We were failed Pokemon Trainers mostly. Guys who tried to battle with their Pokemon, and kept losing. Or outsiders like me, or people who weren't allowed ta go on the Gym Trail because they'd committed crimes in the past. You know about da gym trail right? Facing Gym Leaders in Pokemon battles?
"I wanted to be a Trainer when I was young. Besides which, I'm sure you or Ben will get around to telling me things I already know about our national pastime eventually."
A few people were given some long time assignment which only they would work on. Like me, Jessie and James, trying ta capture dat Pikachu. You won't believe how much I hate dat Pikachu. I have fantasies about torturing it. Anyway, the reasons for why those few individuals were given long term assignments dat they alone worked on will soon become clear.
"Your attempts to be mysterious are becoming annoying"
I'm not trying ta be mysterious. It's just dat dis story will make a lot more sense if I tell it dis way. Trust me.
"Now the formalities are over with, let's get down to business. Firstly I'll tell you the schedule for the first few days you're here. You'll receive your first Pokemon immediately after leaving dis office. There are many to choose from, though they are all at their first evolutionary stage of course. The Senior Executives and I believe that those starting at the lowest level are not ready for the more powerful Pokemon yet, even if they've trained Pokemon before. Many haven't, and most of the ones who have bring their own Pokemon with them. I've read in your file that you haven't. If anyone should be given a low level Pokemon, but prove themselves capable of training a higher level one very quickly, then they will be given one. Meowth will take you down to our Pokemon store room later. Be careful with your first Pokemon. It may have been in its Pokeball for a long time. Some of them dislike that. However its our policy to keep them in their 'balls when they haven't been given to a trainer yet, and it seems unlikely that that policy will change any time soon. Understand?" Giovanni asked.
"Yes" Ben replied.
"After that you'll receive basic Pokemon battling training from your immediate superior. Yours is Meowth. To access our gym you have to punch in the code written on the back of your I.D. card. You will then have to enter it again, on the other side of the door, to leave. This allows us to monitor how much Pokemon training you do. I expect at least two hours in our gym every week. Our training always involves a battle between trained Pokemon, not wild ones. You're welcome to fight wild Pokemon outside this building in order to increase the number of Pokemon you can train, of course. If there's anything else you need to know you must ask Meowth. After that you're ready to start your first mission. Understand?"
Ben may have done, but I didn't. Firstly,I had been taken off da capturing Pikachu assignment. Dat made some degree of sense I guess, 'cause I was no longer working with Jessie and James. But there were was a good reason why I'd been kept out of the big, important schemes dat da boss invented up until now. Da reason wasn't dat I'm incompetent if dat's what you're thinking. Also I'd been put in charge of training Ben. True, I was his immediate superior, but dis isn't, wasn't, how the system traditionally worked. Da ranking system went like dis: first dare's da three levels a' Grunt. Da Grunts are da least powerful weapons in da boss' army. We are his virtually useless tools a' war. Da undervalued normal guys. Like every family in England has an average a' two point four children. I tend ta think of da Grunts as two point four Pokemon. In other words, we don't get ta boss anyone around. The two upper levels are only dare in case we do end up in a situation where dare are only Grunts left. All the Executives that have come with us on da mission are dead, and we've gotta make a command decision. Dat's why dare's always a Level Three Grunt on every team, with a Level Two as backup. So I, being a Level Two, wouldn't normally show a new recruit da works. I guess if I was smart enough I should'a realized den what da deal was. Clearly I didn't think it through.
"You know, your accent is really starting to annoy me. I can barley understand you."
I'll try not ta let it show ok?
"Fine."
Den dare's da Junior Executives. They get ta tell the Grunts what ta do, and there's usually at least one on every mission. They still follow da three level system though. Day, they, sorry, are still under someone else's control. Da control of da Senior Executives. Only one level with those guys. They plan da minor operations but rarely go on them. Day, I mean they, just watch. They're not at the top though. You get ta Level Two Grunt by being a member for one year or more. After dat you have ta prove your self ta climb the ladder, and it's a long ladder. Above da Senior Executives are the Administrators. Just one level. They are da heads of da departments. Like da legal department, which Bradley Staunton works for, or da action department, which I work for, or da research department, or admin. Finally dare's Giovanni. Da boss with no official title. No one knows who will replace him when he dies. No one can reach his level. Dat's how it works. So why was I being treated like a Junior Executive, who's about ta lead a proper mission for da first time? Why was I being included in one of the boss' big plans? Dis hadn't happened ta me since about fifteen years ago. More on dat later. I decided ta listen much more carefully than I'd been doing up until now in case any clues were about ta emerge.
"Even before you begin basic training there are three rules that you must know, and obey and remember. They are the rules that this organisation is built on. Number one is that you obey your superiors no matter what. Number two is that you don't ask questions unless given permission to do so. We operate on a need to know policy here, and usually the things that Grunts like to ask about are things they don't need to know. This rule is taken into effect as soon as you leave this meeting, so, if you have any questions, you'd better ask them now. Finally, you stay loyal to Team Rocket. We look after you if you look after us. If not you're on your own, and we don't like to leave ex-employees running around. Telling our secrets to whoever they want to. Understand?" Giovanni asked Ben.
He was always like dat ya see. Friendly, polite and calm one minute, furious and spiteful the next. He had ta do dat. He took risks. He took advantage of situations as they arose. He didn't always have a plan, but he couldn't let everyone else know dat. He had ta hide it. Pretend there was a great deal of power behind dat civilised man's suit. Except there wasn't really. He managed ta trick a lot of employees dat way, particularly the younger ones like Ben. I could see Ben was scared by dat point, but I wasn't. I'd knew the boss back in the old days. I was acting cool right then. I'm sure Ben saw me, but couldn't figure out what it was I knew about da boss dat he didn't.
"I understand sir" Ben said.
"Good. Any questions?"
Ben confirmed my suspicion dat he was too unnerved ta ask any question. Funny isn't it? How being quiet most of the time, then suddenly shouting, is more frightening than shouting all the time?
"Good. Then I believe I'll have that private word with Meowth now, if you don't mind."
"No sir."
Now it was just the two of us. Da moment of truth about why I was being allowed ta train a younger employee was approaching.
"Meowth, your assignments since Jessica Green and James Hays left my employment have been very successful. Especially considering the fact that they involved you. You know you were once my favourite Pokemon. You are rapidly becoming so again."
"Persian Sian Sian."
"Relax. I am still very fond of you" the boss told his Persian. I began ta feel da same anger about the way he treated him dat I felt in Ben's room. I was starting ta take his suggestion dat I should stand up ta Giovanni seriously.
"It wasn't Jessie and James' fault. It was dat Pikachu. When it breaths, we fail. It's not a Pokemon. It's a Supermon. A Team Rocket destroying machine."
"It doesn't matter now anyway. Three other agents have been sent to capture an equally powerful Pikachu belonging to a young Trainer. You don't need to worry about Ash Ketchum's Pokemon again. Because of your failure I have given up on my dream of ever owning it."
"Sir, it was not our fault. We were good agents. You just gave us a task no one could do. No one!" I shouted. I was getting angrier and angrier by da second. Fortunately, da boss' next words calmed me down a little, though certainly not completely.
"Suppose that I agree with you for the moment. That doesn't change the fact that you're now doing well enough to be promoted. In fact I've allowed you to skip a level. Congratulators Junior Executive Meowth." He gave me his hand to shake. I wouldn't.
"Jessie and James should not have been fired! Not for my incompetence and not because Pikachu's so strong."
"Meowth, you may be a Junior Executive, but you are certainly not head of the Staff department. There's nothing you can do about this, so clam down."
Strangely, though I would hardly say I got calmer, I did begin ta think more clearly. In fact I almost forgot about Jessie and James' plight. Instead I started ta remember the old days, and why the boss and I shouldn't relive them. There are secrets dat I've been keeping for a decade now. Long enough for breaking da habit to become a very hard thing ta do. Long enough ta think it would be fatal. As in it would actually kill people, ta say what was on my mind. I couldn't believe someone with my intelligence would bring it up, let alone a mind like the boss'.
"I know you feel you need to keep this secret in order to keep us safe. It's been a decade now. Everyone feels protective about his past, but I don't think people are still searching for us. We agreed we'd only stay away from each other till the fuss died down. I now believe it has" the boss said. Even so, I decided ta be cautious. I wouldn't put things plainly. I'd say what I wanted ta say, but not in a way dat would make it glaringly obvious to an outsider. At least I'd be like dat if I were as good at keeping secrets as I thought I was.
"If the police ever catch us together…no, dis is too dangerous. You know your reputation. I'm just a petty thief, and, if your really still my friend, you'll let it stay dat way. I'd rather be out on the streets again than do dis to ya" I said.
What I predicted came true too. What'a ya know? I didn't really want ta be back on da streets again. Back ta foraging for ice cream and fried chicken on da streets of Hollywood. Sleeping in cardboard boxes. You won't believe da cold. Not just the weather but da people too. Yet da boss had taken me in, given me what I always wanted, became my friend. Then made da ultimate sacrifice. Said goodbye ta me, someone who shared his most intimate secrets, someone so close ta him, just so I wouldn't go ta jail. So I wouldn't get caught for my own unjust actions. I can't believe I've ended up in here anyway, about ta betray him. Despite what it would cost me ta be out on the streets again, I would do anything for him. Dat's why I endured hunting Pikachu for so long, despite da continual failures and insults pounded upon me. I knew dis would happen and it did. It started right then. How can you guys ask me ta do dis?
"Because we need Giovanni. If we don't have him, we don't have anything. Come on Meowth. Tell us his secret."
You're salivating hu? Just let me finish telling you what we said, and did in dat office, then I'll tell you. I swear. I just need some time ta think.
"To think of a lie you can tell us instead of the truth?"
No. Ta get my self ready for letting go of dis burden. Dis isn't easy for me.
"Just get on with it. Don't forget that we're in charge."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard dat. Ok. I'm going.
"It's not as if we'll be seen together. I just want you to go on a larger mission than normal. No one will ever find out. We were young before Meowth. We've clearly both learnt to be cautious now" da boss said.
"Ok, but I think dis is a bad idea." How right I was.
"Thank you for trusting me Meowth" he said. He might have just been saying it ta calm me but I don't think so. As I said, I've known him for a long time.
He called out for Ben ta come back in. Obviously the waiting hadn't done him much good. He was sweating and his hands shook a little. Clearly he was very nervous now.
"What is it sir?" he asked timidly. The boss walked up ta the window and looked through it, his hands behind his back. He seemed very theatrical at dat moment.
"I have a rather grandiose scheme I want to reveal to you. Please don't be shocked when I tell you what it is. To put it simply, I want to become the head of the Elite Four."
I can't say I was shocked, but I was certainly a little taken back. Da Pokemon Champion. Da boss as da head of state of des islands, and da lawgiver of everything dat do wid Pokemon. Dis was ambition even for him. Although I guess it was inevitable dat he would try dis some day. In fact, it was probably why he started Team Rocket in da first place. I just didn't think even he would have the nerve ta actually go through wid it.
"I thought Madame Boss started Team Rocket."
Um…we'll get ta dat. Anyway I looked at Ben, curious ta see what his reaction was. Clearly it hadn't sunk in yet. He would have just taken in anything the boss said at dat point without question.
"How?" was the only thing I could think of saying.
"Obviously I won't be going on the Gym Trail. I used to train Pokemon once, and I was good at it too, but that was a long time ago. Besides which, I have a very high profile" the boss said. It was no conceit either. He was real good at training, way back in the 2040's.
"No. I won't go on the Gym Trail. You will. You Ben Kails, will become a trainer. Meowth will pretend to be one of your Pokemon. In actuality he will give you orders. Understand?" the boss continued. Whenever he asks, asked "Understand?", he meant "You'd better do what I say or else." It was like the motto Jessie, James and I used ta use. I made it up by the way.
"I don't care."
I'm not too happy with dis situation either you know. You're exactly how da boss…Giovanni. Giovanni is his name! You're exactly how he was just then. Ben wasn't even ready for our meeting, let alone ready ta be a trainer. Yet Giovanni automatically assumed he could become Pokemon champion. He assumed I would be willing ta let myself just be another Pokemon for some kid ta train. He assumed dat da business about him firing Jessie and James was dealt with. I can't believe he would do dis to us!
"Calm down. Just stay calm and continue your story. Are you calm? Would you like some water?"
I'm calm. I'm calm. No water thanks. So I wasn't happy but ,he was still the boss. I still had ta obey him. He still did nice things for me, at least back when the company was just starting up.
"Ok. So why do you want ta do dis?" I asked. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either.
"Think of the resources we would have. Think of the level of control. We could rule the Pokemon world. Our company would be in charge of this country's greatest industry, and its political system. The Elite Four control everything. Don't you see why I would want that?" Giovanni asked. And I could, but I knew there was something else to it. Don't ask me how. Normally his schemes have no purpose except ta gain money and power, but I could tell somehow dat dis time it was different.
"Why else?" I asked.
"What other reason could I have?" he said, turning back from the window in order ta stare at me. Clearly he was surprised.
"Dat's what I want ta know. Come on. We both know there's more ta it dan dat."
"Fair enough. The real reason is I don't like them. The Elite Four think they can control everything. The way people train their Pokemon. The way battling works. The way technology works. Have you noticed how many of the devices we use every day are geared towards Pokemon training? Pokedexs, Pokeballs, TM's, HM's. Our buildings are all Gyms and Stadiums. They think they control everything. They are our closest rivals, and, because of the way we do things, they will always be more popular than Team Rocket. So I want them out of the way."
"I'll do it" Ben said, sounding surprisingly determined, considering the timid way he'd acted throughout the meeting so far. I looked at him and saw dat same determination in his eyes. I wondered if he had always wanted ta be a trainer, but he wasn't allowed to for some reason. Many of our members are like dat. I decided ta ask him about it later.
"What about you Meowth. Are you with me?" the boss asked. I thought for a moment, den nodded my head in agreement. What else could I do?
"Good, then, if there's nothing else, please give Ben his first Pokemon" the boss said.
"Sure thing" I replied, and left with thoughts swirling around busily and quickly in my head. In fact dat's how I feel now. Could I please have a rest?
"You were going to tell us Giovanni's secret, remember?"
Yes, but I really need a break. I'll tell you. I promise. I'm just so tired now. I'm not a young Meowth anymore.
"How old are you? I'm just curious."
Pokemon don't live for the same amount of time as humans. Plus it depends on the Pokemon species. But, in terms of human years, I guess I'm in my sixties by now. Don't forget the stuff I'm telling you about happened nearly twenty years ago. Ben is fifteen years younger than me I guess.
"Ok. We've been in here for quite a while, but I'll be back. You'd better tell me the truth about you and Giovanni then. Or you can forget about the interrogation, and the witness protection programme. Presuming we were intending to put you in it anyway. We'll get him without you, and send you straight to jail."