A Ramp To Nowhere But Trouble
Disclaimer: I forgot to mention this but Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil is toooottaaallly not mine…That's something Sandro Corsaro has claim to~ That lucky soul!
Songs of the Mo (as I write): Violet Hill by Coldplay, Watching the Detectives by Elvis Costello, This River Is Wild by The Killers
Chapter Two: Nosedive
"Hey Dillweed!" Snap! BWAM! BWAM! "Dillweed!" Snap! BWAM BWAM! "DILLWEED." SNAP! BWAM! BWAM! BWAM! Brad was growing irritated at the lack of response from his younger, more popular, daredevil brother whom was lying face down (and in his underwear) on his bed. "This is getting boring heerrreee!" The teenager continued to stand in his brother's doorway and pelt him with his marshmallow slinger.
Shhhhrrrrrttt! Kick! Kick! Are you there! Kick! Shrrttttt! BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEEPPPP! S.O.S.! BEEP! A familiar Nordic boy's desperate voice broke through the static of his walkie talkie.
"Dillweed! There's a loser at your window!" Brad trained his weapon at a randomly conjured red baseball cap…but his aim was poor.
"OW! MY EYE-OHH yummmm~ Marshmallow~" Gunther somehow managed to climb up and over the windowsill and into Kick's room…landing on a soft, delicate, delicious cloud of marshmallows that filled up the entirety of the room. "IS THIS…HEAVEN!" Then he shook his head, remembering his previous mission. "Woah…Kick what's the matter buddy? Why's your jumpsuit on the floor? It's too earlyyyy for that! Really! It's only like…noon!" Gunther stumbled through the food obstacle. "Kick!" He shook his unresponsive friend but to no avail. "How long has he been like this!"
"Well he's been like that since he got here an hour ago." The eldest Buttowski shrugged. Brad throughout this entire time had proceeded to beam marshmallows off of both kids heads.
"WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THESE MARSHMALLOWS FROM!" Gunther asked in awe, before returning his care to his best friend. "Kick! Buddy I'm worrying about you here!"
"Well I'm bored." Brad finally ran out of marshmallows so he nonchalantly turned to walk down the hallway. "YEAH BRAD."
By now Gunther had his friend in his arms, flipping him over on his back and staring exaggeratedly into Kick's unfocused eyes. "Speak to me…my dear, dear friend!" Then…let out an intense burp right down onto the comatose Kick.
DOING! His eyes quickly refocused, then widened into horror, watering even. "WOAH!" He collected himself and his bearings. "Gunther? What just happened?"
"The belch of life…"The blonde boy had tears in his eyes, overdramatically striking a cherubic pose with hands clasped in folding position against his cheek, background sparkling. "Oh Kick! You've returned! I was worried I'd never get to go have you as a best man at my wedding!"
Kick blinked. "W-Wedding?"
Gunther sort of pouted. "Yeah man…with a supermodel? Like I dunno fifteen years from now?" Kick started to appear dazed again. "HEY! What's wrong Kick? You don't usually look this…this…" He looked around the room. "Marshmallow like." His mouth was full of the stuff as he spoke. "An wha ident oo ick up er wahkee ahkee?" (And why didn't you pick up your walkie talkie?)
"Ah…" Kick sat up, looking down at his knees. "Sorry about that Gunther. I guess I just got…distracted."
Gunther cocked his head to the side. "What's up man? You never get distracted."
"That's just it Gunther." His yellow gloves squeaked as he fiddled them. His brows knit in confusion, eyes wavering. "I don't…know."
Gunther was taken aback. "Uh…well…so let's start from the beginning? What happened between when I left and now?" What could possibly have made him this distraught in such a small amount of time?
"No…" Kick suddenly stood, shaking his head. "I shouldn't dwell on something like this. I'm Kick Buttowski! Master of awesome! Conqueror of stunts! And I've got a stunt to conquer!" Gunther could've sworn there was a guitar solo to emphasize his sudden resurrection…and a voice singing 'resurrectionnnn'.
"Hmm…" Gunther smiled. "Well I have no idea what happened but I'm glad you're back! That's the Kick we all know and love!" He held out Kick's jumpsuit. "I believe thissss is yours?"
ZIP! FLIP! MONTOGE YEAHHHH~~~ "WHERE IS THAT NARRATION AND BACKGROUND MUSIC COMING FROM!" Gunther cried out exasperatedly when Kick's redressing had a montage.
Kick struck his usual confident pose, his ever present helmet glinting from some inner light source, his grin returned to its rightful throne. "C'mon Gunther. We got a glider to repair!"
A pang of guilt hit his friend. "Um…" He scratched the back of his blonde hair. "I hate to say this. I mean you're back to normal and everything…but I can't go and work on that today remember? I just thought I'd chat with you before I go back to Florgens Time with my family. And I got worried and stuff… so technically I'm not supposed to be here."
Kick drooped a bit. "Oh yeah…you did tell me tomorrow…Wait. So where are you supposed to be, exactly?"
Gunther leaned in and whispered creepily, lips traveling an incredibly unrealistic distance from his jawline towards Kick's ear. "In the pottyroom."
Kick's face twitched a bit. Gunther took a handful of marshmallows in his fist. "So…are you really okay?"
"Yeah. I just was thinking too much. But I'm better now. Thanks Gunther." Kick smiled.
"Well if you're sure." He stuffed his face. "And take it from me. Thinking is overrated. Just look at the things you can do without thinking!" Gunther started to yodel.
"That involved thought Gunther." Kick grinned.
"Well how would I know!" Gunther huffed. "I don't think remember! Just pretend you are a plant and we'll go from there. Photosynthesis is important for our environment you know. Or just every time you are feeling down just think about how it feels doing a stunt!"
Kick suddenly brightened. "Gunther! You're a genius!" He jumped onto the marshmallow ground.
"I-I am?" Gunther was confused. "Well I always think I thought I was. Wait. How am I a genius? Photosynthesis?"
"No! What you said about feeling down." Kick gave a thankful smile to his best buddy. "I just gotta keep thinking about stunts! If I do stunts all the time I can't be down!"
"That'ssss not exactly what I meant-" BOOOOOOOoMMMMM! "GUNTHER! It's time for the feast!" Mrs. Magnuson's voice called from down the street. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEllll…I guess I'll be…" He snatched up more marshmallows. "Going…" He stuffed it in his shirt, under his hat, and shorts…"Nooowww…"He suddenly jumped out the window, a thud and a random cat yowling could be heard. "I'M OKAY!"
Kick tweaked his chin (wherever that was) in thought. "I've just gotta do stunts. ALL DAY LONG. Sounds fun to me!" And no more confusing thoughts. "Where did all these marshmallows come from?"
Needless to say there were much duck tape tearing sounds, hammering and chainsaw noises to be heard the majority of the day. Ms. Chicarelli would be on her toes for the remainder of that time as Kick prepared himself by flying by on Ol Blue a record amount of times. One time she had spit up her tea all over her window as she watched him float by on a skateboard held up by balloons… This kid needs to leave this town and join a circus!
Kendall had to leave the sanctuary she had built for herself. For a while, after her confrontation, she had sat there next to the cliff's edge at the mouth of the cage, unable to face what was behind her. Looking out at the vast distance between this side of the canyon and the side with the ramp, she thought in sadness. The top of that is just so high above me…It seems impossible. I could never hope to be so high above everything and look down and just smile with confidence.
It wasn't just that she had expectations upon her, she knew. And it wasn't that she was entirely unhappy either. She had parents that loved her and wished the best for her after all. No. It was that everything she thought was important: following the rules, respecting your elders, doing all of your work, getting good grades wasn't making her important. She thought that by being class president…she could gain some sort of friendship with her peers…be a hero and earn their respect by doing the right thing. But then…Kick had to do everything wrong. And prove her beliefs wrong. And make her feel so…foolish. Like her world has just a puzzle that made up a picture of what she thought was a vase…only to be told by him that they were actually two faces. And now those pieces began to erode away until that is all she could see in her mind. Those two faces turned to her and laughed in scorn.
Too many conflicting contemplations flooded her mind. With each gust of wind came the hope that a voice would whisper in her ear what she was really supposed to do. After a long fruitless wait, she gave up and decided to walk to the library where other peoples intelligent voices could be read and silence the bees in her befuddled head.
Careful to skirt the places she knew Kick frequented, she did her best not to appear too downcast to any other soul that caught sight of her. The library in sight, she crossed the road, unconsciously biting her bottom lip…when she bumped into someone.
"HEY!" Kendall glanced down at the ground, noting that a girl was walking on her hands and knees with her face to the ground. Her head whipped up to see what she had ran into. "EW IT'S YOUUU!"
"Wack-I mean Jackie? Just what are you doing?" Kendall winced, having drawn a bit of blood from biting her lip and then the collision.
Jackie recoiled and rose to her full exaggerated height, face scrunching in distaste. "Kendallll!" She pointed an accusatory finger at the blonde girl. "Why do you reek of Kick's musk of awesome! I thought it was weird when the scent I was following headed towards the library! This is the second time I've caught you with his scent! Explain yourself! REPEAT OFFENDER!"
Kendall rolled her eyes, sticking her nose in the air as she tried to push by. "I don't have time for this Jackie."
"You'd better stay away from my Kick! He's MINE I tell you!" Jackie flailed in warning. "Keep your snobby little hands off of him! He's way too awesome for the likes of you! Kick's handsome and extreme and AWEESOOMEEE! And you're-"
"That's enough!" Kendall froze in her tracks, slowly wheeling around to face the other girl. Normally, as the occasion when Kick and her hands were stuck together, she would've just ignored Jackie's over possessive fangirling as she was 100% sure Kick was hiding from her for a legitimate reason. However, today was just not the day for her.
"…" Jackie blinked.
"I don't care about your stupid Kick! I don't care how awesome he is and I don't care if he's handsome and extreme! HE'S A FOOL! HE'S ABSURD! HE'S NOT WORTH MY TIME!" The blonde squeezed her eyes shut as she bellowed, fists at her sides shaking. "You can have him! I DON'T CARE! JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" Jackie dropped her hands to her sides as well, impacted by bewilderment, eyes as wide as dishes.
"W-W-Well just stay away from him!" Jackie concluded awkwardly, tone lacking its usual enthusiasm, then watched as Kendall huffed away up the library steps. " And Kick's not stupid!" She called after her.
Kendall, back turned, swallowed hard, biting her lip even more as tears refilled her eyes. I know he's not... I am…But I wish I've never met him!
Hand on the library's door, eyes unfocused, she didn't even notice that someone had been watching her entire outburst.
Mr. Vickle held his gardening books to his chest in surprise at the scene down the stairs below. It didn't feel right to interrupt such a heated conversation, so his first instinct was to stand there out of sight near the library's bordering hedges until it died down.
But the bachelor's ears twitched in curiosity as he accidently eavesdropped. Why that sounds like Miss Kendall Perkins and Miss JackieWackerman! And…they seem to be arguing about Kick?
Kendall's words concerned him, and when he saw her expression as he rounded the corner…his startled thoughts began to form Samaritan ideas about how to improve this dramatic situation. But first he'd have to make 100% sure about a feewwww littlleee detaillsss…
TO BE CONTINUED…
(I added this to the end cus it's so lonnngg) Author's Note Novel: I'd like to thank everyone who read the first chapter! Thanks for your faves and reviews! Seriously yall, thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed it! GIVE THESE KIDS A KLONDIKE BAR! PLEASE! *flails*
Now to something I didn't make very clear before. If you don't care jus skip ahead~~ I have this little character analyzing habit. It's incredibly annoying sometimes because it makes me drop everything and write about it. (My own book included.) I tend to over-use my imagination and pull a 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and 'walk in someone else's shoes'. Okay so I do that with real people too. But I DIGRESS! I've been thinking about Kendall's personality. See, people at first have this reaction to dislike her for being a 'snob' character. But if you think further into it…there must be a reason for her behavior much like any of the other people real and fictional. I love digging into the psychological/behavioral shiz. That's why I'm studying that. XDDD
I don't know if you remember or have seen the episode where everyone dresses as Kick to drive Ms. Chicarelli crazy or not, but there was this brief moment before Emo Kid got the snot knocked out of him with that kickball and you see someone next to him…that someone (also helping out in a Kick jumpsuit) is Kendall. (Here's a link .com/art/Kendall-Perkins-Collage-201419968 if you're THAT bored.) She's holding a soccer ball. Now it could just be utterly random…or a stroke of careful placement there. Coming from someone whose childhood label was 'tomboy' and who coincidentally played soccer for the majority of my life, I can hypothesize: 'Kendall is secretly tomboyish and for whatever reason she is trying not to seem so.' (That's not to say she's completely secretly 'tomboyish' she's obviously pretty girly too sillyheads. *cough FRENCH KISSY KISSY MOVIE SCENE cough*)
If yall were as surprised as I was about her…epic farting that one episode as well…and her athleticism she showed there…and her lack of embarrassment from farting saying something like 'that was nothing! You should've seen that one time with the lamp po- I MEAN uhh oops.' It's pretty obvious she's got that side of her…and she's trying to appear not so. Repeatedly there is mention to her being an 'heiress' and such. She holds lots of pride towards her father's success and she works hard at being successful in everything she does as well i.e. Class Pres, straight As. And maybe in order to fill a void she took on a 'secret boyfriend' in Ronaldo seeing as he too was highly intelligent and from a more successful family.
But if you also notice…she keeps telling Ronaldo to be 'more awesome'. Could be that she wants to suppress her other side of her to be what people 'expect her to be'. WOOO INNER TURMOILLLLL~ So I'll just leave you with that theory of mine. I'm mostly providing my own explanation as to where she is able to just be 'herself' and unwind and IF SHE HAS A SOCCER BALL WHEN DOES SHE USE IT! As well as she must know caves pretty well if she was found in one without a hint of 'well this is unusual'. Love this theory, hate it, I don't care this is just my weird mind. IT'S A CARTOON~~ WWEEEEEEEE!
BTW I had to split this chapter in two. I wrote over ten pages and figured you'd punch me for having to scroll so much sooo XDD That's why it cuts off weirder than I usually write fanfics! XDD