Sam's POV
"No we don't. What we need to do is forget about it, okay?" I tried to get rid of him but the stupid followed me.
"I think you're wrong. We do need to talk. Forget is impossible!" he closed the door of Carly's room "I need to talk about this!"
"Since when do I care about your needs?"
"Stop being so selfish for five minutes so we can talk!" he demanded.
I never heard Freddie demand anything before. It was actually kind of hot. I could feel the heat rising up my cheeks. Just because he had the balls to do it, I would give him his five minutes.
"You have five minutes" I said looking at Carly's clock "Go!"
He rolled his eyes, but didn't' complained, much for my disappointment, some bickering would help relieve the tension. I sat on Carly's bed waiting for him to speak. Freddie took three steps and stood in front of me, in a way that I had to look up to meet his gaze. I watched carefully every inch of his stupid face while he took a deep breath. He was nervous, but something told me he wouldn't stop talking until he had said everything he had to say.
I knew what he was going to do. He was going to try to let me down easily. The damn boy was a gentleman after all. My heart ached; it was sharp kind of pain. The same kind I've tried to protect myself from. The same kind I tried to keep out of my life for so long. Now she was here and I knew it could only get worse.
A/N: I recommend you read this next part listening Glee's version of "Jar of Hearts", you won't regret it!
"I always thought you hated me. Not properly hate, as in the meaning of the word, but that just didn't like me. Even so, in a crazy twisted I thought way you kinda saw me as a friend. I always thought it was because of Carly, and iCarly. You hurt me emotionally and physically. You humiliate me and do everything in your power to make me feel miserable. You enjoy my pain. And you do that every single day" he began.
Great, he was letting me down and it was my all fault. I couldn't blame the dork anyway, I mean… I do all of those things to him. Stupid Sam! I wondered if he could ever like me if I were more like Carly. Of course! He would love anything that looked slightly like her. I wondered if he could ever have feelings for me if I treated him right. Probably not.
"But after all we've been through I just can't see us as frenemies or unlikely friends anymore. We're best friends!" he closed his eyes for a second, then opened them and carried on "I have so many mixed up feelings right now that I can't even begin to explain them to you, but that kiss…"
He smiled at the word "kiss". Now I was confused. I was listening to him; I understood everything he was saying until now. That was the first time he confused me. Maybe I was overreacting; maybe he was going to say how ridiculous the kiss was. Yes, that was it.
"That kiss awakened something that was hidden deep inside of me. I'm not sure of anything, cuz honestly this is all very confusing. I have so many questions. So many doubts. I need some explanations. I think I deserve them. I need to hear from you… what you feel. I need to know the what, the when and the why " he paused for air.
I took that chance to speak. I knew if he kept talking I would do something stupid again.
"Why do you even want me to explain anything? I'm aware of the situation Benson. You like Carly since forever and I don't need acknowledge anything other than that! I just want to forget about it so I can move on… I just want to go back to the way it was before this whole mess! I just want us to be whatever we were before!" I almost screamed.
He took another step towards me and kneeled in front of me so our eyes were almost in the same height. When did he get so tall? I shivered when he held my hand. I wanted to push him away, but my muscles melted when he touched me. There was nothing I hated more than feel vulnerable. My walls were slowly crumbling down again, like that night at the lock-in, I felt so stupid. I should punch him. Push him away. Kick him. But I couldn't. In the end I just stood there memorizing every inch of his face. His pretty nose. His sweet smile. His soft skin. His dark hair that I was so obsessed about. And finally, his eyes. His deep brown eyes, staring right at me; with so much sweetness it scared me. Those chocolate eyes were the reason that all of this mess begun. I couldn't resist them anymore, not like i did before. Now it seemed impossible for me to ignore them. He gave me a crooked smile, one of his many charms, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I wanted to hate him so bad right now… but I just couldn't and that made me mad, frustrated, so I looked away.
"I don't want that. I don't want to go back to the way we were before. I can't" his gaze was searching mine.
"Why?" I snapped and walked away from him.
I was close to Carly's closet. Standing up would be safer. Distance would be safer.
"Because I can't!" He stood up and faced me "Not until you answer all of my questions!"
He crossed his arms sounding determinate. That cracked me a little. I could feel one of the many bricks surrounding that crazy heart of mine disappearing. Falling down or whatever.
"Fine…" I felt defeated.
I motioned for him to sit down where I was before, but he just shook his head, refusing. I went back to my previous place on Carly's bed and took a deep breath almost at the same time. I was preparing myself to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I opened my mouth but he raised his hand making me stop.
"No. Not like this. Not here. Not right now" he said.
"Why not? Don't you wanna hear it?" I stood up again.
"Yes… but not like this"
"How then?" I asked annoyed.
"Over dinner" he smiled.
"Come again?" I must've heard him wrong.
"Over dinner… or after dinner, either way is good for me"
"Oh…" I was confused again "So you wanna talk about this at dinner? But Carly and Spencer will be there, it would be really…" his laugh made me stop talking.
"Not here. Over dinner. On a date" he had a wide warm smile on his dork yet adorable face.
"What?" my eyes were wide open "Are you asking me out?"
I couldn't believe my ears.
"Yep!" he said almost eagerly "Will you go on a date with me?"
Took me a while to process his words. When I'd finally comprehend them I felt a mix of joy and anger. One part of me was mad, and wanted to kick his ass for asking me out on a pity date, the other half, was screaming a crazy happy yes. As soon as fear took over me I knew my answer.
"No" I said calmly.
"Okay then…" his expression didn't change a bit "I'll just ask you every day until you say yes!"
He smirked while I had a disgusted expression on my face. The scary little Miss tough girl inside of me was taking over, even if the brave Miss stupid girl threatened to appear, probably, Miss tough ass would kick her butt.
"Good luck then Benson" I walked towards the door.
Before I could leave I turned around to look at him. Freddie gave me a wide warm smile. The same smile that made me fall in love with him.
"I'm not giving up Sam" he warned me.
I rolled my eyes and left. When I was alone in the hallway a smile appeared on my lips. A part of me was scared and angry, but the other couldn't help being happy. That was bad, I didn't want that little light of hope inside my heart shinning brighter, and I liked the comfort of the darkness of fear. Who Freddie Benson think he is? He is not allowed to give me this kind of feelings!