Ecophobia - A fear of home.
Sirius always took ages to pack, going as slow as possible in a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable.
He would place his trunk on the opposite side of the room from where he stood, and then he would throw without aiming, his clothes, books and other belongings landing on the floor instead of in the trunk. He used his 'game' to cover his fear.
Just the thought of having to go home was enough to make him cry.
It always started at the beginning of May; he became depressed, pulling more pranks and not even caring if he got caught. The time he spent alone in the Room of Requirement was the time he spent crying, wishing he was someone else, wishing his family was a different one.
He wanted to be proud, he wanted to go home and have his family say that they were proud of him, even if it was just for one day. He wanted his mother to look at him the way James's mum looked at her son, with unconditional love and pride. He wanted his father to clap him on the back, swiftly followed by a "Good job son," just like James's dad did when his son announced something to be proud of. He wanted his brother to look up to him and say he wanted to be just like him.
But it was all just a dream. He didn't have the kind of family that was proud of him or anything that he did. Everything he did was wrong, a shameful act of betrayal encouraged by the 'blood traitors' who were his friends and housemates.
His brother could do no wrong. Everything Regulus did, becoming the prodigal son, becoming a Slytherin and then no doubt a Death Eater, was something to be proud of in his parents' eyes. He wanted to rescue his brother from the darkness emanating from his parents and the Black family lineage. He had tried for five years, but finally giving up when Regulus took great pride in announcing in the Great Hall that the elder Black's name had been blasted off the family tree tapestry.
His friends knew not to mention his family, at any time of year. They thought they knew the reason why he procrastinated with his packing and why he always went to James's to stay for just two weeks in the summer. They thought it was just as simple as being unable to stand his family's presence for too long, and while they were right, they had no idea just how far it went. The fear ran deep inside him, scaring him with its power.
It taunted him, making time pass by faster when he was on the train, only to slow it down again when he walked through the front door, going so slow that it seemed as though time was going backwards. The house taunted him with the Black family tapestry and his parents, the two people who were supposed to love him no matter what, taunted him with their cold and vicious words.
He'd never admit it, but those words stung harder than any physical attack ever would.
Time became normal when he left for James's, his trunk never having to be re-packed. The taunting went away but never left him, it was in his dreams, his nightmares. The cruel sting of rejection, the power of the fear, it never left him.
It never would.