A/N: Happy October! I don't really like October because it's getting colder, where I live (I don't like the cold). But here's a new chapter! I think I said that there was gonna be a Have/Have Not competition this chapter. If I did, I lied. But there is going to be a PoV competition next chapter (for reals this time). OKay here we go, but first,
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I'm too tired to think of something funny and/or somewhat clever right now.
"Oh my gosh! It's a ginormus ham!" I screamed and ran towards it. I took a bite and it was like eating in a blissful dream with a lot of food and… stuff you don't need to know about. The producers just gave me my key to the HoH room. Everyone filled in after me but I was barely paying attention to them because this is all I need. An awesome room, and a giant ham.
"Sam, you'll have all week to eat ham. Why don't you look around now." Carly said.
"Ugh," I put down my ham and said, "Fine, hey look here's my letter, want me to read it?"
"Yeah," they all responded.
"OK," I started to read,
"'Dear Sam, You know that I don't really like writing letters so I don't really know what to say. Congrats on making it on Big Brother, you know I love reality TV shows. I hope you're having fun and stuff. I got a new boyfriend, his name is Carter and he bought a new TV for your room, but I think I'm gonna break up with him soon though (he didn't buy me a TV!). I've been going to that therapist again and he told me put something 'heartfelt' in this letter so here it goes: I miss ya kid. I hope you win lots of money there. Love, Mom.' Well at least she's trying." I said.
The letter actually made me kinda happy. I was really glad she was trying now. When we finished that therapy, she got her own therapist and he's really been helping her (she hasn't worn a bikini once since her therapy started). And apparently I got a new TV so that's always good.
"Hey look," Freddie's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's and old picture from the first iCarly."
"Really?" Carly and I said at the same time.
"Yeah."
"Hey look it's Sam and Melanie's baby picture!" Wendy squealed, like it was the cutest thing ever, which it wasn't. I was a baby, and all babies look weird.
"Aww, we looked so cute, didn't we Sam?" Melanie said, in the same tone of voice that Wendy did.
"No." I said disgusted.
"Hey," Griffin said "Is that you?" he pointed at a picture of me at the beauty pageant that I did last year.
"Who else would it be?"
"The other one," he said pointing at Melanie.
"She didn't do pageants and why do you even care?" I asked
"…No reason." He said
"Okay… as fun as this has been, I'm gonna kick back with my ham and take a nap." I said. I decided that this fun shindig had to end. I jumped on my bed and closed my eyes, and tried to fall asleep.
"Well," I heard Carly say "I guess she's done now. You guys can stay here or go somewhere else, I don't think she'll care." That's my best friend for ya! She knows me so well. A few minutes later I felt somebody get close to me. The person what really close but I was almost asleep and lazy so I didn't do anything about it. It smelled like a guy, and a familiar guy at that.
"Freddie, what are you doing over by Sam? She's sleeping, don't do anything stupid." Carly scolded Freddie in that motherly way that she does when Freddie and I are arguing about something stupid.
"I wasn't doing anything bad." He said. Why was he even by me? And how do I know how he smells?
About 30 minutes later, everyone, except for Carly, Freddie and Spencer, were back downstairs. After everyone had left, I actually went to sleep. I was gonna fake it just so everyone would leave but the bed was so comfy! It was like a cloud or something else really soft.
"Sam, you gotta get up now. We wanna talk to you." I hear Carly say in a sweet airy voice.
"Nooo." I mutter sleepily.
"Well, can you at least sit up so that we can talk to you?"
"Ugh, fine." I sat up and leaned againt the headboard.
"So, who are you gonna put up for elimination?" Spencer asked.
"I don't know. I have, like, a day left. Why do I have to decide now?"
"Because it's good to make a decision so that no one tries to change your mind."
"Whatever," I said fully awake now, "But this is stupid! Who am I supposed to put up, I just want everyone, other than me, to go!"
"Sam, it doesn't work that way.' Carly said.
"Well, it should!" I screamed and they cringed.
"Okay," Carly stretching out the world, she ran over to my table. She grabbed something and threw it at me. I caught it and moaned in pleasure… It was a Fatcake! I tore off the wrapper and stuffed the first once in my mouth.
"Sam slow down!" Freddie said, I glared at him and stepped back and put his hands up.
"So, who do you think I should put up?" I said. They all looked at me like I was crazy. I looked back until Spencer said,
"Chew, swallow and then talk." Oh, that probably sounded like, "Smo ooh-ooh-ooh ink I swoud mut uh?" I took the chewed up Fatcake out of my mouth and repeated myself.
"Ew, Sam! Put the Fatcake back in your mouth." Carly said, while looking away.
"You're such a priss!" I told her.
"Sam," she said warningly, sometimes I think she acts more like my mom than my own mother does.
"Fine!" I said, putting my hands up in defeat. I finished eating it and said, "I'm not saying it again."
"Um, I dunno it's your decision why don't you think of someone?" Carly said.
"Because I know who I want to go home. I just wanna know who you guys think should go home."
"Who do you want to go home?" Freddie asked.
"That is for me to know and you to figure out when she walks out the door."
"So it's a 'she'" Spencer said. Wait, what?
"I never said that!" I said defensively.
"Yeah you kinda did." Carly said.
"Oh, well that's all you're getting from me." I said, "You still haven't answered my question."
"Well, I want Mandy and Nevel gone. Nevel keeps creeping around whispering 'You'll rue it!' and it's creepin' me out! And Mandy keeps on giving me Fladoodles every time I see her. And it's a small house! I see her every other minute!" Carly said. Oh yeah, I saw Mandy doing that one day.
"Yeah them or my mom." Freddie said shuddering. Ugh, I remember yesterday when she was trying to get Freddie to put on tick lotion. That wasn't fun…
Flashback:
"Freddie, just put some on!"
"No! I'm sure there aren't any ticks in here!"
"Freddie!"
"Mom!"
Carly and I could hear it all the way from the kitchen, to our room. We were on the other side of the house.
"Sam, go stop her. She's giving me a headache." Carly told me.
"Why do I have to do it, you're the one with the headache!"
"Yes, but she hates me. All I would do is make her more persistent and louder."
"So, don't I make everyone loud?"
"Yes but she likes you." I just looked at her.
"She doesn't like me!"
"Yeah she does–Sam, just try something, please?"
"Ugh, whatever!" I got up and walked slowly to the kitchen. Almost everyone was sitting at the table, watching them. I took a deep breath and said,
"Hi Mrs. Benson!" in the most cheerful voice I could muster. She turned around mid-scream and said,
"Hello Samantha." I cringed at the use of my full name but I smiled and started talking again.
"Is that your only bottle of anti-tick lotion?" I asked her, pointing at the bottle.
"Yes it is. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was wondering… if I could use some?" Freddie looked at me like I was crazy, but I just kept looking at Mrs. Benson.
"Of course you can! You just need to–"
"I know how to read directions, just hand me the bottle."
"Alright, bring it back when you're done!"
"Okay, I will."
I walked out the back door while opening it. I smelled it and stretched my arm as far as it could go, it smelled terrible. There are no words to describe how terrible that was. I turned around to se if anybody was watching, no one was. So I swung my arm back and chucked the whole bottle over the wall.
Sam, don't do that.
"Yeah, whatever." I called to the mystery voice. I walked back in and apparently everyone left because it was just me and Freddie it the kitchen.
"What did you do?" he asked.
"Let's just say 'You're welcome.'" I said while walking away.
End Flashback
"Yeah, I really don't want to save you from Crazy again."
"You didn't save me!"
"Yeah she did!" Carly and Spencer said.
"No she didn't…" Freddie mumbled, more to himself than to us.
"What about you Spencer?" I asked
"What about me?"
"Who do you think should go up for eviction?"
"Oh, well I, um… think… you, maybe should–I have to talk to my alliance!" he screamed and ran out the door.
"What?" we screamed back at him. He walked back in, relatively calmer and said,
"I have to talk about deviances, with other people that aren't you. So bye." And he walked back out the door.
"Toss me that remote over there," I told Carly. I caught it and pressed the 'On' button. The kitchen popped up on the TV screen.
"What are you doing?" Freddie asked
"Lookin' to see who's in Spencer's little 'alliance'." We saw Wendy putting on make up in the bathroom. Gibby and Tasha hugging on his bed. Gross. Griffin and Melanie talking. Ahha. Spencer. He was talking to –
"T-Bo and my mom?" Freddie said "That's his alliance?"
"That's so sad, three people against ten other people." Carly said
"Don't show sympathy, that's how most people crack and go home." I told her.
Please come inside so that Big Brother can set up tonight's PoV competition.
"Hey, do you think they have ribs here?" I wondered out loud.
"Maybe…" Carly said questionably.
"Fredlumps, go get me some ribs."
"Did you not hear the 'maybe' that came out of Carly's mouth?" I glared at him, "Fine if you wanted me to leave you could have just said so." He walked out and shut the door behind him. Carly looked at me.
"What?" I asked her, but she just kept looking at me. "Carly, say something."
"Oh it's nothing, but I just wanna ask you something…" she said finally looking away from me.
"So ask it."
"What do you think of Freddie?"
"He's a nub?" I said, but it came out as a question.
"Just a nub?"
"Yeah, a nub."
"Okay…"
"What are you trying to imply?"
"Oh nothing… nothing at all. Just, do you think that you could ever – y'know, l–"
"Nope, there's not any ribs here. Just chicken, steak and hamburger meat." Freddie said as he walked in the door.
"Can you make me some chicken?" I asked.
"I can make you some chicken."
"Cool, I'm gonna get myself pumped for the competition!"
"By eating?" Carly asked.
"Well what else am I supposed to do?" I asked
"You know what? Never mind."
"Alright… So, chicken?"
"Let's do this." He said. We walked out the door and as we were walking down the stairs I turned to Carly and asked,
"What were you gonna ask me before?"
"Oh, it was nothing. I'll just ask you later."
A/N: Ooh, what was she gonna ask her? It's not really hard to tell but still.
Thanks so much to: pbjforever, QueenV101, hannahpie45, Jay-JayHaven0115, HOLLA, Geekquality, PuRpLe DyNaMiTe, Embrace Your Inner Gibby, Juliette Kavanagh, silent rider7, XMizzTuraX, SamLovesYou1103, ChelseaRussell, Kaitley and 3 anon. people for reviewing. I heart you guys!
Jay-JayHaven0115: Um, thanks?
HOLLA: I love that! I think I'm gonna use it. But I can't remember Neon Factory at all, it might have been the one episode that I missed that season.
Juliette Kavanagh: No prob!
Anon 1: Thanks!
Anon 2: Mandy definatly annoys me too.
Anon 3: Awesome idea!
Okay so I've decided who is going to be in the final 3, yay! But there's still a poll for you to vote in, Who do you want to be America's Player! It's not really necessary to have seeing as no one will really win anything, but I would love to see who your favorite person is! And now, review! It's for Doug the Diaper Guy! He's so weirdly awesome! Lysha OUT!