Freedom
Chapter 26
RPOV
I laid next to my babe, watching her face intently, waiting for her eyes to open. And when they did, I could tell she was happy to see me. What I wouldn't do to see that lovely smile to go along with those gorgeous blue eyes. She looks so tired. I can't imagine what's going on in her mind.
"Do you know how much I love you?" She blinked twice. The little minx!
"I don't think I knew what love even meant until I met you. And now that you're mine, I can't live without you. If I had lost you today… I'm not strong enough. I'd never survive."
"Now do you know how much I love you?" She blinked once and tears escaped her eyes. "I'm sorry I made you cry."
"Would you let me take you away on a relaxing trip when all this is over?" She blinked once. Good girl.
All of a sudden her heart monitor went through the roof. Her eyes looked panicked.
"Babe, breathe. Does it hurt?" She blinked once, tears pouring down her face. Seems the only things she can control are her eyelids and tear ducts.
"Upper body?" She blinked twice. I looked down and saw her toes wiggling. "Bobby, Tank, can you massage her feet?" Without hesitating, the jumped up to help relieve the pain.
"Does that help, babe?" She blinked once. "It's helping guys, keep it up, gently."
We went through this process repeatedly, first with her limbs and eventually her torso which we couldn't help with since that's where most of her injuries were sustained. After two and a half long hours, she regained most feeling. Watching Steph be tortured with agonizing pain, we had all had enough. If we didn't release our version of venom, our hatred, coursing through our bodies soon, we'll all blow.
"Shit! Words cannot describe what it's like watching someone endure that kind of pain!" Lester said, slumping back in his chair. "Especially someone in her condition, I don't know how you're doing it, cuz. If it were the woman I loved lying there, in agony…"
Steph had fallen asleep a few moments ago. She's had brief spells of relief where she was able to rest, but this last episode lasted 48 minutes. They're going to have to hang an extra bag on her IV just to replace the tears she's spilt.
"The only thing getting me through this is the fact that she's alive, she's safe, and she's with me now. Nothing else matters. She came out the other side of this damn drug and I'll be making sure, if it's the last thing I do, that Morelli is tortured in prison and made to feel the same pain he's inflicted on her."
Bobby was next to share his frustration. "What an utterly helpless feeling. I've seen guys twice her size, trained for combat that haven't endured pain of that magnitude with that much grace. She's one tough cookie!"
Tank just came back in from telling the nurse's station that Steph had fallen asleep. They wanted to know when the pain in her torso subsided as it would probably be the last of it. "Speaking of cookies, the doc is going to stop in shortly and wants to do some tests to see all feeling has returned. She should be able to have a protein snack soon. Hal just got back from checking in on Rangeman and has been chomping at the bit to see her. Do you mind if I send him in?"
"No, not at all. Go grab him and update the other's while you're at it."
Hal stepped in the room a few minutes after Tank left. He came right over to the side of the bed I wasn't occupying. "Tank told us it's been hell. I can't believe we didn't hear any screaming."
"She's been through so much, she really dug deep and went inward with it. I can only imagine how she'll be in childbirth after going through this."
The doctor entered and Hal stepped aside so he could have better access to his patient. "How long has she been sleeping?"
I looked at my watch. "22 minutes."
"I hate to wake her, but I need her to respond verbally to my stimuli. Has she talked much?"
"No. She whimpered a lot, but with everything she's gone through in the last two days, she's trying to cope. That and she absolutely hates hospitals."
"I should be able to clear her to leave by morning, maybe sooner. Being in comfortable, safe surroundings will be best for both her and the baby to reduce their stress. Bobby, you said you'd be there to monitor and the baby over the next several days?"
"You can count on it!"
Before I could stop him, and without warning, the doctor reached out and grabbed Steph's arm to wake her. She immediately went into panic mode and tried to fight him off, even before she could fully open her eyes. "Oh, my!" He said, shocked at her reaction.
"She's been held against her will and assaulted, for over two days, you can't just grab her!" The doctor looked mortified at what he'd done.
"Babe, it's ok, I've got you… wake up, babe… that's it, open your eyes. It's me touching you now, you're safe. No one's going to hurt you." She looked into my eyes, the panic subsiding.
"Carlos… don't leave me… please."
"I'm not going anywhere, babe. The doctor needs to do an exam though to see how you're progressing. Just hold onto my hand, and know I'm right here."
Doctor Howard took his time making sure all extremities were responding to stimulation, treating her tenderly. "I'm going to touch your face now, Ms. Plum." She gasped several times as he tried to determine if there were any fractures. "I need to press on your tummy to see how tender you are." He put light pressure on her belly and she instantly started crying, turned over on her side, away from him and pulled me down to her to bring me to her level, holding onto me for dear life.
"I can't watch you hurt her. What more do you need to do?" I'm trying hard to remain composed and remind myself he's here to help, not hurt, but watching her react so strongly…
"Ms. Plum your bruising looks worse than the actual injuries. I don't feel any breaks, but it will take time for the swelling to go down. Do you have any questions for me?"
"Carlos, take me home."
"Ms. Plum, I'm afraid I can't release you until…"
With her hands still clutching my shirt, holding me to her body, she started begging me. "Please, please, don't make me stay here. Please take me home. I hurt all over, I need our bed, I need you lying beside me. Please Carlos…" She's hardly spoken since arriving, I can't bear to deny her this request.
"Draw up the discharge papers. We're leaving. She's been through too much to force her to stay. Bobby can take care of any needs she has."
"Mr. Manoso…"
"NO! We're leaving. You have ten minutes. Bobby, do we have clothes for her?"
"Ya, right here. Ella brought some comfortable clothes for her to go home in. She forgot shoes though."
"Won't be a problem. I planned on carrying her anyway. Babe, you have to let go now so I can get you changed." She wouldn't let go, still holding me down with a death grip. "Guys, can you give us some privacy? Bobby, can you stay and help me get her dressed?"
I had to literally pry her fingers off me and Steph looked terrified when I no longer had her in my arms. These last several months have been too fucking much! If he's succeeded in breaking her spirit, so help me…
As soon as she was dressed and I had her cradled in my arms, she immediately fell asleep although her grip on me never loosened. We walked down the hall, towards the waiting room. Everyone came up to us wanting to see for their own eyes that she was indeed alright. I quietly told them we were going home and would be in contact. I could tell several of my men wanted to come up and touch or kiss her as was their usual custom, but didn't want to startle or wake her.
We made it home without incident. The core team, Ella, Luis and Lula all met in our apartment. Steph still hadn't eaten and it's been well over two days. As much as it pained me to disturb her restful sleep, I took her to our room and gently woke my sleeping beauty. Bruises or not, swollen face and hair a mess, she was the most gorgeous woman to me. She tried to stretch and winced in pain. "Babe, we need to get you to eat something, and take some pain pills."
"I can't! It'll hurt the baby!"
"No, babe. Bobby has some Tylenol for you which is perfectly safe for both of you. The guys, Ella, Luis and Lula are in the living room, do you mind if I take you out there? They're all pretty worried about you."
She nodded. She still isn't speaking. I don't know if it's residual pain she's enduring or the memories of the last few days.
I carried her out to the living room, and sat down on the sofa with her still on my lap. Everyone had found a seat, even bringing in chairs from the dining room which was less intimidating. Ella came up and put her hand gently on Steph's arm. "Stephanie, can I get you something light to start with, maybe some crackers?"
We were all startled by her response, "NO! No crackers!" She turned her head and buried it in my neck.
"Babe, you have to eat something."
"Joe gave me crackers the first morning he had me." She mumbled in my neck.
"Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. I can make you anything, you name it. If we don't have it, I'm sure one of these men would love to go get it." Ella was on her knees at Steph's side, stroking her arm.
"Babe, is that all you had? You haven't eaten since that morning? That was two and a half days ago."
"That's all he'd let me have, and I had to tell him things just to get that. If I wanted more, I would've had to… well, you know… and I would never do that, so I chose not to eat. Can I have a peanut butter and honey sandwich?"
Bobby spoke up, "that would be perfect, Bomber. You need to eat protein rich foods these next few days. Ella makes a killer shake, too, you'll have to talk her into one. Her peanut butter fudge is the bomb!"
Steph smiled and snuggled back into me, falling asleep again.
"Don't worry too much Ranger. She hasn't eaten in days, and is weak. Get some food in that belly and she'll be back to normal in no time."
"I don't know, she's awfully quiet, uncharacteristically so, even with all that's happened. I think these last few months have all caught up and hit her hard. I just hope she bounces back." I look down at the beauty in my arms and held her a little tighter.
Stephanie hasn't been eating much since getting home from the hospital last night. Even the peanut butter and honey sandwich she requested made her feel sick. We were at a loss as to whether it was morning sickness, the residual drugs in her system or stress. Either way, she's fading. She fell asleep after her attempt to eat last night and slept through the night. We slept on an air mattress in the living room since the new window wasn't put in the bedroom until today. We've spent all of today on the sofa watching tv and movies. From the blank expression on her face, I don't think Steph actually watched anything as much as she just stared off into space. When I picked her up to take her to bed in our room, she panicked.
"What is it, babe?"
"Wi…win…window." Shit! No wonder.
"Babe, I'm here. I won't leave you. You are safe."
"I thought I was that night too." Fuck, Manoso, how are you going to fix this?
"Would you like to sleep out on the air mattress again tonight?" She nodded shyly. "No problem, babe, anything to help you feel safe. I want you to know, we are installing a new monitoring system on the roof tomorrow as well as the perimeter of the building, not just the entrance. And the glass we replaced in the bedroom is bullet proof. No one can break in. I'm trying to make you as safe as possible. I know you're scared, but I won't let anything happen to you. I love you."
"I love you, too."
We slept fairly well on the air mattress, although I had to wake Steph from several nightmares. I'm determined to get back to our bed soon where she'll be more comfortable. I have to remind myself the terror Steph has experienced these last few days, from the kidnapping on.
Sitting down for breakfast, she just pushed her eggs around on the plate and only nibbled on her toast. She's barely spoke since returning home, and even then, it's only been to answer my questions. This morning I noticed she was tired just walking in from the living room. She's not eating enough and is fading right before my eyes. Time to pull out the big guns. I excused myself from the kitchen. "I'll be right back, just need to make a phone call from my office." She didn't even look up. If I could just figure out what's going on in that mind of hers. I've asked many times if she wants to talk, but she just shrugs her shoulders.
I checked e-mails and saw Charles from the Boston office was coming down to help offer us some relief. He'll be able to step into my role for a while and I'm grateful for some much needed time with my babe without worrying about work. I called Tank. My core team has been antsy trying to get up here to see her and I've put them off. "Call the core team, tell whomever wants to go that we're leaving at 11 this morning for Point Pleasant to the safe house we have there. Have Ella pack some of Steph's favorites. We'll be spending the night." He asked if everything was alright. "No. I thought a change of scenery might just do the trick though."
I packed our bag and had it in my arm when I went to pick up Steph off the sofa. "Where are we going?" She asked, looking down at the overnight bag, once she was in my arms.
I almost told her to just trust me and make it a surprise, but figured she needed some control and knowing where I was taking her would alleviate any worry. "The beach. I thought you could use an outing." When her eyes widened in what I translated as fear, I added, "Core team is going too. They've been worried about you and wanted to get away as well. It's been one hell of a week." She nodded and snuggled into me.
We took two vehicles in case Steph and I decided to stay longer. With Morelli no longer posing a threat, we didn't have to have a large security detail with us anymore. Steph and I drove in my Porsche 911 Turbo that I know makes her feel good. The way she melted into the seat and promptly fell asleep once we hit the road told me I'd made the right choice.
Reflecting on our past several months as I drove, I realized our lives had become so gradually more intense. It's was no wonder Steph didn't feel safe anymore. Just a day before she was kidnapped, I thought she might snap, and now this. I know she can get through it. She's so buried in circumstances, it will just take a little time to chip off all the scum that has accumulated on her beautiful spirit before she's once again soaring.
We arrived at the beach in just under two hours. I waited for the guys to unload everything before taking Steph into the house. I cautiously woke her, so as not to startle her. She looked around at the house, at the guys and finally, out the huge picturesque window in the main room where we were standing. She wiggled out of my arms and walked to the sliding glass door, putting her hands on it and opened it slowly. Inhaling deeply, she turned and gave me a smile. Yes! She walked back over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezing softly. "I love you, babe. Just name it, I'll do anything to get you back." I whispered in her ear, hoping she'd catch the double entendre.
Tank made quick work of making a fire in the fireplace, Bobby heated up some hot chocolate (no doubt he was spiking ours and making Steph's extra chocolaty). Lester took the luggage upstairs to the appropriate rooms while Hector checked the house for any security breaches. Hal found some blankets and wrapped one around Steph before picking her up and setting her on his lap, cuddling up on the big sectional sofa that we can all fit comfortably on. There's a big screen tv above the fireplace and a cabinet of movies in the corner, but Stephanie looked quite content just staring out the large windows on either side of the fireplace which the sofa faced.
Ella packed enough food to last us a week, and the way we've all been working without much thought to our own health, it probably won't take us long to go through the supplies. Lester listed some options for lunch and Steph's eyes lit up when he offered grilled cheese and tomato soup. Anything she wants to eat, any of us will happily make or get for her.
Having done a good job eating half her lunch, when my babe fell asleep I decided to put her to bed and go for a run. I made sure the guys were going to stay close by in case she woke up and was unsure of her surroundings. I needed to release some of this pent up energy I haven't had the chance to release since being by Steph's side non-stop.
Sometimes I think the beach is as healing for me as it is forher. It felt great to open it up and just run for all I was worth on the vacant beach. No cares, no worries, no obstacles in my way. Just me and the sand. I looked at my watch and realized as I had the house in my sights that I'd ran for two hours. It felt great, energizing in fact. I hope to bring Steph outside later and even though the water will be cool, let her walk barefoot, her toes sinking in the sand. It's hard to believe something so simple can be so therapeutic.
The house was eerily quiet when I walked in. I shed my shoes and sprinted upstairs. I laughed out loud at what I saw in our room. Steph and I were staying in the master bedroom which was fairly large and had a nice size sitting area with a window seat overlooking the beach. Tank and Lester were sitting on opposite ends of the window seat, legs stretched out in front of them, Hector, Bobby and Hal were all sitting on the floor against the wall. They were all talking lowly, something we were used to, being on so many missions together. Stephanie was still in a deep asleep in our bed. I pulled the ottoman over and sat down with them.
Tank spoke for them, "Sorry man. I know you just said to keep an ear out for her, but we needed to be close. She's talked in her sleep a few times, and we just wanted to be close in case she needed us." Ya, in case she needed them… more like they need her. It's ok, I know exactly how they feel. After all that's happened, being in her presence is calming, healing really. I was hoping a couple of days at the beach would have Steph feeling a bit of that, not realizing it would have the opposite effect as well.