Summary: A bout of boredom leads Tsuzuki to do an internet search with his own name, but the results are something he never would have expected.

Rating: K+

Genre: Parody/Humor

Words: 1, 857

Author's Note: A short, silly story on what might happen if some of the Yami no Matsuei cast discovered fanfiction. Please note that this is not intended to offend or make fun of anyone or anyone's fanfictions! Any relation between the fanfiction mentioned in this one-shot and other existing fanfiction is purely coincidental- I made the story Tsuzuki finds up myself (not that I actually wrote the story he finds out...you'll see.). This is just for fun! I'm sure I'd be one of the people on Hisoka's hitlist if he discovered I wrote stories about him and Tsuzuki. =P

Tsuzuki sighed out of boredom. He was supposed to be typing up a report from his and Hisoka's last mission, but he was halfway through and wanted a break. Unfortunately, it was not break time, and Tatsumi would scold him and cut his pay if he decided to take one. There was still a way to entertain himself, however: a wonderful thing known as the internet. Glancing around, Tsuzuki confirmed nobody was paying attention to him. Hisoka seemed absorbed in his work, and there was nobody else in their office. With a small grin, Tsuzuki opened his computer's internet browser and starting 'surfing the web', as he often heard people calling it.

There was the usual news articles that popped up at the homepage, most of which Tsuzuki didn't want to read since most news was about somebody being hurt or killed...or worse, large amounts of people being hurt and killed. The articles were worth looking through though, because sometimes he'd find really cute, heartwarming articles, or sometimes funny things on animals. Browsing through them now, however, didn't bring up anything particularly interesting.

Having nothing else to do, Tsuzuki decided to try something else. Going to Google, Tsuzuki typed his own name into the search engine. It was simple curiosity to see what would come up, though he highly doubted he'd find anything.

Surprisingly enough, his name had gotten him results. The first thing that came up was to a website called ''. Curious, he clicked the link. It brought up a story that apparently starred himself and Hisoka. Since when were there stories written about them? And who would write them? The Gushoshin twins? Why? The description read simply, 'A Tsuzuki and Hisoka lemon.' The description confused him. What did lemons have to do with either of them? Besides, he liked sweets, not really sour fruits! Wondering what it was about, Tsuzuki read on.

It started out simple enough: Tsuzuki and Hisoka were returning home from a normal day at work, ready to eat dinner and relax for the rest of the night. It all sounded like their actual, every-day life, other than the fact they apparently lived together in the story when, in actuality, they had their own separate homes. Though, the idea was appealing. Except Tsuzuki was sure that Hisoka would hate to move in with him, and wouldn't be too keen on him moving in with Hisoka. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. It would be nice to live with somebody else though...it got lonely living alone for so long. Maybe he could bring it up to Hisoka sometime in the future.

Pushing that thought aside, Tsuzuki continued reading. After dinner, the two decided to snuggle with each other on the couch. Well, that wasn't something that Hisoka willingly did. Not often, anyway. In fact, the only time Hisoka would hug him was when one of them needed comfort. That was the only sort of cuddling Hisoka ever did. Tsuzuki couldn't really blame him, given his past and his empathetic abilities, though he did think the boy needed more hugs.

After the two cuddled for a while in the story, they started to kiss. Tsuzuki found this to be even more uncharacteristic of Hisoka. Thinking about it, he figured his partner had probably never kissed anybody in his life, and certainly not in his afterlife. While he had had that short fling with Tsubaki on one of their cases, that was...well, not something either Tsuzuki or Hisoka tried to think about, with how tragic it turned out and how much Hisoka had been hurt in the end. That had been one of those times Hisoka had needed the comfort and accepted a long hug from Tsuzuki.

Now, Tsuzuki was wondering who wrote this story and where they would come up with the idea that Hisoka would kiss him. He was beginning to hope it was some odd joke, because it was starting to get creepy. Reading further on, Tsuzuki decided to carry Hisoka to bed. Oh, well, that was fairly normal. Hisoka had passed out a few times before where Tsuzuki ended up having to carry him to bed to rest. Tsuzuki was pretty sure Hisoka in the story was still awake, but figured he was just tired, so his story self had decided to bring him to bed. The kissing didn't seem to stop when they got there, however, which started making things confusing. What was going on with this story? And why were clothes coming off now? There was nothing abnormal about getting undressed to get pajamas on before bed, but he and Hisoka undressing each other certainly wasn't normal. As it began to dawn on him just what he was reading, Tsuzuki grew increasingly worried and creeped out, for the story Tsuzuki and Hisoka were now both completely naked and...

"Tsuzuki, what are you doing?"

Tsuzuki almost fell out of his seat, jumping at the sound of Hisoka's voice right behind him. "N-nothing! I mean...I'm working! Yeah, working!"

Hisoka was unconvinced. "Working...then why did you stop typing? And why were you staring at the screen with your mouth hanging open...and why is your face so red? You didn't erase something important again...did you?"

As Hisoka leaned to the side to try to get a look at the screen, Tsuzuki quickly stood up and blocked it with his body. "No! I didn't era-I mean...uh...yeah, I accidentally erased my report...but I'll just type it up again! No harm done!"

"Then why are you covering the screen? Move out of the way."

"Uh...I don't think that's a good idea..."

"You are obviously doing something wrong that you don't want me to know about, now move!"

Hisoka grabbed Tsuzuki by the shoulders and tried yanking him away from the computer screen, and the elder replied by throwing his arms around it, refusing to let it go.

"You idiot, let go! You are going to break the monitor!"

"If you stop trying to pull me off, then it won't break!"

"Tsuzuki! Let go, now!"

Finally, Hisoka managed to get Tsuzuki away from the computer screen, pushing him so that his chair rolled to the side with him on it and granted Hisoka access. He was confused when he simply saw words on the screen. "Why did you get so uppity about-"

Hisoka's eyes landed on a sentence toward the bottom of the screen, 'Hisoka wrapped his arms around his lover, a moan escaping him as Tsuzuki...' That was all Hisoka had to read. He felt his entire face turn red as he stared at Tsuzuki in disbelief of what the older man had been reading.

"Tsuzuki! What the hell- how did- where did- why are you- that's...that's just...AUGH!"

"No, Hisoka! It's not what you think! Wait!" Tsuzuki called, but his partner had already stormed out of the office. Tsuzuki dropped his head on his desk and groaned. Wonderful. Now Hisoka thought he was some creepy, disgusting pervert like Muraki. He would have to explain exactly how this had happened, because this was most definitely not something he could let there be a misunderstanding about. Not if he had any hope of Hisoka speaking to him ever again. Or even being in the same room as him. Or the same building, for that matter.

Who on earth would write such a thing anyway? Scrolling all the way up the page, Tsuzuki looked around for any possible sources. The click of a link led him to an even more disturbing discovery. There, listed in front of him, were a bunch more stories involving them as well as the other Shinigami, and even Muraki. He stared at the screen in horror, not realizing Tatsumi had walked in until the secretary spoke.

"Tsuzuki-san, is something wrong?"

Tsuzuki once again nearly jumped out of his seat. In haste to get rid of the evidence of what he had been reading, he accidentally clicked the minimize button on the web browser, but, thinking he closed it, left it and turned around. "No, nothing's wrong!"

"Are you sure? Because Kurosaki-kun just stomped down the hall and didn't answer me when I asked him what was wrong. I don't think I've ever seen him so flustered before. Did you mess something up on the computer?" Tatsumi suddenly had a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Tsuzuki-san...I hope you didn't erase all the important files in the computer..."

"No! I didn't erase anything! I just- I have to go talk to Hisoka." Without any more explanation, Tsuzuki stood up and ran out the door, hoping to catch Hisoka and get him to understand what had happened before the younger Shinigami asked the Chief to partner him with somebody else.

Tatsumi looked at Tsuzuki's computer screen. He figured Tsuzuki had to have done something wrong. Why else would he be so nervous while his partner was stomping down the halls? Seeing a window minimized, Tatsumi sat down on Tsuzuki's chair and brought it up. His eyebrows raised in confusion as he saw a list of what were apparently stories, all of which were written about the employees of the Shokan Division, and, in some instances, Muraki. What on earth was this?

Hoping to get to the bottom of this, Tatsumi clicked on one of them, which happened to star himself and Watari. His eyes widened as he read what was written. "What is this?! I have done no such thing with Watari! Who wrote this?! I swear, when I find the person responsible, I'm giving them a one-way ticket to the Shadow Dimension!"

---Meanwhile---

Having nothing to do, Muraki decided to entertain himself with the computer. He missed Tsuzuki- it had been several weeks since he last saw his most prized doll, and wanted to see him again. There was nothing that could be done at the moment, however, so instead he brought up Google and typed in the Shinigami's name. He clicked on the first search result. When it led him to a story, he was rather surprised, but decided to read.

Did Tsuzuki really do that with the boy? If the boy was as willing as this story described, then he clearly had not done his job properly enough that night under the cherry blossom tree. An interesting find, but not what he was looking for. Clicking another link toward the top of the page, Muraki found a list of stories. It didn't take much browsing before he found one that starred himself and Tsuzuki. He found it to be given a rating of 'M', so it held promise. Clicking on the title, Muraki began reading. A smirk spread across his face.

When he finished reading, Muraki made sure to go back and bookmark the website. There were more stories where that came from, and he was interested in reading them. He shut his computer down for the night, however, as there was something more important he now had to do- figure out his next plot to get his darling Tsuzuki to him.