Summary: It's way too hot in Meifu, the air conditioning in the Shokan Division has broken down, and tempers are on the rise.

Rating: K+

Genre: Comedy

Characters: Kurosaki Hisoka

Words: 3,196

Author's Note: So, I started writing this months ago, just before summer had started, on a particularly hot day when I was stuck outside waiting for a bus that never came. It is now November and cold out. Don't ask why it took so long, because I don't have a valid reason. I just kind of...left it for a while, I'm not even sure why. But, here it is finally, completed. Maybe reading about such a hot day will make you glad the weather is cooling down. Or make you miss the summer as you are shivering under a blanket in front of a heater. I dunno. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Thank you as always to those who have reviewed!

Hot. It was way too hot. Summer hadn't even begun yet, and the temperature was already too much to handle. Then, if that hadn't been enough, the air conditioning system controlling the area of the building the Shokan Division occupied had gone on the fritz, and all attempts to repair it failed. Hisoka was beginning to believe that he was no longer a Shinigami, and had instead been sent to Hell for some terrible crime he didn't commit. Everything around him was just an illusion concocted by the devil himself in order to torture Hisoka. Tsuzuki's whining was grating on his nerves, Watari's complaining about the humidity making his hair an uncontrollable mess made him want to shave the wannabe scientist bald, Terazuma inciting fights with Tsuzuki was tempting him to sew the former's mouth shut, and the heat...oh, the heat! The glasses of ice cold water did little to help, and he couldn't fan himself while filling out paperwork (not that that would do too much either). Yep, he had definitely been dragged to Hell while he was sleeping. The only possible thing that could make it worse was if the Demonic Duo, Saya and Yuma, decided to visit. Hisoka could only pray to whatever kind deity that was listening that those two would not appear.

Tsuzuki was currently tapping his pen on his desk, sighing and moaning about the heat. Hisoka was doing his best to ignore him and keep working, but it always seemed impossible to ignore something when one was aggravated and trying to work. The young Shinigami gripped his pen and clenched his teeth, trying not to scream at his annoying partner, which was getting increasingly difficult. If Tsuzuki made one more sound-

And then there was a large sigh.

"Will you just shut up and do your work?" Hisoka finally snapped, "We all know it's hot! Stop whining about it and just work!"

Tsuzuki pouted. "But, Hisoka, it's too hot to work!"

"If the rest of us have to sit in this heat and work, so do you!"

That seemed to shut Tsuzuki up, as he stopped talking and went back to his paperwork. Blessed silence fell for the next half hour until it was break time. Hisoka heard Tsuzuki get up, but he had no intentions of getting up himself. He could get more work done if Tsuzuki was out of the room and not being a distraction, so he planned on taking advantage of it.

"Hey, Hisoka, it's break time." When Hisoka didn't respond, Tsuzuki spoke louder. "Hisoka! Break!"

"I know. I don't care." The young Shinigami grumbled, continuing his work.

Tsuzuki frowned. "Come on, you need a break. Come get some lunch."

"Not hungry." The heat had sapped Hisoka of his appetite, so lunch wasn't at all appealing. Unfortunately for him, Tsuzuki wasn't about to take that as an answer.

"Well you have to eat something. It's not healthy for you to be skipping meals all the time, especially with your health."

"I'm. Not. Hungry." Hisoka said through gritted teeth.

Tsuzuki was suddenly at his partner's side. "You're eating anyway, just something small."

"I'm not a child, Tsuzuki! I can decide whether or not I want to eat! Leave me alone!"

"No, because if you decide, you'll just skip meals and get sick." Tsuzuki tugged on Hisoka's arm, trying to get him up from his chair.

Hisoka was ready to give Tsuzuki the verbal lashing of a lifetime, but he bit it back. "If I eat something, will you leave me alone for the rest of the day and stop complaining?"

Tsuzuki sighed. "Fine, if you eat something, I won't say a word."

"Fine." Hisoka grumbled. The chances of Tsuzuki actually being quiet for the rest of the day were practically nonexistent, but, it was worth a try. As Hisoka stood up from his chair, he realized his shirt was clinging to his back. Wonderful. That was just another reason Hisoka hated the heat- it made him sweat. The combination of feeling hot and sticky was not a pleasant one. Sweating always made him feel so dirty and made him want to take a nice, cold shower. Unfortunately, he could not do that at work. What he could do was quickly go home and shower instead of eating during break. The problem with that was the relief would only be temporary and he'd start sweating again after he got back to work. Not only that, but he would no doubt be lectured by Tsuzuki for skipping a meal. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation. There was no satisfying option.

When they got to the break room, Tatsumi was filling a tall glass with cold water, and Kannuki and Terazuma were already sitting down, eating.

"Tatsumiiii," Tsuzuki whined, "Can't you do anything about this heat?"

Tatsumi looked at Tsuzuki from the corner of his eye in a way that made the older Shinigami take a step back. "If I could, Tsuzuki-san, the air conditioning would be working."

"What's the matter, can't take a little heat, Tsuzuki?" Terazuma teased.

Tsuzuki glared. "I can, but this is ridiculous."

Kannuki sighed. "Hajime, please. Don't argue. It's hot and we're all agitated because of it, we don't need any other reason to be upset."

It didn't take an empath to tell she was right, but Hisoka could most certainly confirm it. The room was teeming with agitation, which didn't help his own sense of aggravation any. He closed off his senses as much as he could, but there was still tension in the air that anybody could sense.

Unfortunately, neither Terazuma nor Tsuzuki took that as a reason to avoid arguing, and continued to bicker. Hisoka was ready to throw his glass at one of their heads, but stopped at an outburst from Tatsumi.

"If you two don't stop your incessant bickering this instant, I'm going to cut both of your pays!"

"He started it!" Both of the arguing Shinigami yelled at the same time, pointing to each other.

"I don't care you started it! You both took part, you're both going to be punished!"

"Hajime Terazuma!"

Terazuma froze and slowly turned to face Kannuki, who was now standing up, hands on her hips. She had used his full name, and that meant he was in trouble.

"You are acting like a little kid, knock it off!"

"But-"

Kannuki turned to Hisoka, smiled, and, in the sweetest voice, asked, "Kurosaki, I think Hajime needs help being escorted out of the room. Would you mind pulling him out of his chair by the hand, please?"

The idea almost brought a smile to Hisoka's face. The embarrassment he knew Terazuma felt from transforming when Hisoka touched him would be a good punishment for him. As soon as he looked at Terazuma, the horrified Shinigami stood up.

"That's okay! I don't need any help!"

"Good!" Kannuki said, still smiling sweetly. "Let us get back to work, Hajime-chan."

Defeated, Terazuma followed his partner out of the break room. Tsuzuki stuck his tongue out at him as he left. Unfortunately for Tsuzuki, Hisoka had seen the gesture, and gave Tsuzuki a swift whack upside his head.

"Ow!"

"I know it's difficult for you, but stop acting like a four-year-old."

Tsuzuki went silent after that, not daring to argue with an angry Hisoka.

The empath calmed slightly at Tsuzuki's silence, satisfied that his partner had finally heeded his warnings. All he had to do now was eat a small amount of food, and, hopefully, the man would be quiet for the rest of the day.

As soon as he sat down with a sandwich, however, the small hope he had for the day getting better shattered.

"I have a solution!" Watari yelled, standing triumphantly in the doorway. Hisoka twitched, and felt the dread coming from Tatsumi. Tsuzuki, however, grew excited.

"Did you figure out how to fix the air conditioner?" The purple-eyed Shinigami asked, a slight sparkle in his eyes at the thought of relief from the unbearable heat.

"No, but I did create something else! I call it: The Coolinator 1.0!" Watari said triumphantly while holding up what appeared to be a remote control.

"No." Tatsumi stated simply.

Watari pouted. "You don't even know what it does yet!"

"It doesn't matter what it does. We all know it will simply end up in failure and malfunction, just like everything else you do."

Watari gasped. "Are you...calling me a failure?"

"At experiments and creations...yes."

"T-Tatsumi! That's so cruel!"

"You're a meanie, Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki chimed in.

Tatsumi glared at Tsuzuki, causing him to sink into his chair. "I'm preventing impending doom. The air conditioners will be fine soon enough, you can all continue working until then."

Watari grinned and hit a button on the remote control. "Wwwoops, my finger slipped!"

The secretary's face dropped. "You didn't."

There was a distant beeping sound, followed by the sound of a rush of air. The Shinigami froze, half of them fearing what may happen while the other half were hopeful for the sweet feel of cold air. A few seconds later, a rush of cool air came from one of the vents. Hisoka was the first to feel it. He held his hand out, making sure he wasn't just feeling things and there actually was cool air coming towards him. His mouth dropped, closed again, and a look of contentment crossed his features, followed by a sigh of relief.

The cool air then spread to the other Shinigami. Tatsumi had a look of complete disbelief on his face, while both Tsuzuki and Watari broke out into large grins.

"You did it!" Tsuzuki yelled, throwing his arms around Watari. "Watari! You are the best!"

"I know! Hah hah, I told you it would work!"

The two hugged and hopped up and down like overly-giddy school girls, chanting "Cool air! Cool air!" Hisoka was fully content in his chair in front of the air vent, and Tatsumi was at a loss for words.

With a now comfortable temperature in the break room, the Shinigami proceeded to eat lunch. About halfway in, however, the air conditioning began to become too much.

"Watari-san, can you turn it down a little? I'm getting kind of cold now." Hisoka said, pulling his arms close to his body.

"Ah, yes, no problem!" He turned a dial on his remote-control and smiled. "That should do it."

"Thanks."

A few minutes later, and Hisoka wasn't feeling any better. In fact, he was getting colder. "Um...Watari? I think you turned it the wrong way. It's gotten colder."

"Oh, uh...let me turn it the other way, then."

Another minute later, and it still wasn't getting any warmer.

"Watari, are you sure you are turning the right dial?"

"There is only one dial."

Hisoka stared. "Don't tell me you can't change the temperature."

Watari waved his hand in the air. "Ah, it's no problem, I'll just turn it off!" He hit a switch once, twice, thrice, but the air conditioning did not turn off. "Errr..."

"Watari Yutaka, don't you dare say you can't turn it off!" Hisoka said, anger once again mounting.

"Okay, I won't."

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses in a way that caught the shine of the light above, giving him an even more menacing look than usual. "Watari, find a way to turn it off. Now."

No matter how many buttons he hit or how much he turned the dial, the temperature would not change, and the air conditioning would not turn off. "Seems The Coolinator 1.0 malfunctioned..."

Hisoka reached out and grabbed the remote control from the self-proclaimed scientist's hands. He tried everything he could think of, and, when nothing worked, he proceeded to throw the remote to the floor, shattering it.

"Gah! My remote control!"

When destroying the remote didn't stop the air conditioning, Hisoka turned on Watari.

"You had better go fix this right now! It is freezing in here!" Hisoka's breath was visible in the cold air as he spoke, the temperature continuing to drop.

"Alright, I'll go, I'll go!"

Wasting no more time to avoid being scolded by Tatsumi, Watari ran out of the room. Hisoka huddled in a ball on the couch, trying to keep himself warm.

"Is it any warmer in the hall?" He asked, hoping it was just this room that was freezing.

Tsuzuki stood up, walked into the hall, stayed there for a brief moment, and walked back into the break room. "Nope. Same out there as it is in here."

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses. "Watari Yutaka...the cost for all of this energy is coming directly out of your paycheck." He looked over at Tsuzuki and Hisoka. "It may take a while for him to get this fixed, you may want to get back to work."

Hisoka stared. "Work? We just went from weather that was way too hot, to below freezing in a matter of minutes. I'm dressed for the heat, I do not have a jacket with me, and I can see my own breath. I'm not working until this is fixed."

Tatsumi was silent. Hisoka was a very hard worker, and he didn't refuse to work for no reason. The secretary sighed, supposing the younger Shinigami had a point. "Alright, fine. Unpaid break until this is fixed."

"Can't we just go home?" Tsuzuki whined.

"No. It is not the end of the work day. As soon as things are fixed, you are getting back to work."

"That's not fair!"

Tatsumi ignored Tsuzuki's complaints, instead looking at his watch, and sighed. "I may have to call maintenance. Of course, the cost will also be deducted from Watari's pay."

"I don't care what you have to do," Hisoka said, shivering, "but get it fixed. I can't feel my toes."

"If you want, Kurosaki-kun, you could step outside."

Hisoka thought about that for a moment. It was either the freezing cold, or the burning heat. Either way, he would be left incredibly uncomfortable. "I think I'll stay inside. There's gotta be some way to stay fairly warm."

"I know!" Tsuzuki said, bounding over to Hisoka. "The best thing to do in situations such as these is to huddle together! You know, body warmth!"

"I am not huddling with anybody but myself." Hisoka growled, glaring at Tsuzuki and inching as far away as he could without falling off the couch.

"Come on, don't be like that! We don't want you to turn into a Sokacicle! I'll warm you up in no time!"

Without waiting for Hisoka to protest further, Tsuzuki pulled him close and wrapped his arms around his partner. Hisoka squirmed, trying to free himself from Tsuzuki's grasp.

"Tsuzuki! Let me go!"

"Just hold on, you'll warm up, trust me!"

"I don't want you to warm me up! I'll warm myself up!"

"But you obviously can't. I'm telling you, you'll feel a lot better if you let me help."

"I said no!"

Tatsumi sighed- his breath coming out in a visible puff. He didn't feel like listening to more arguing, and he had to call maintenance to turn off Watari's contraption. "I'll go call maintenance. Hopefully things will be fixed shortly."

Hisoka and Tsuzuki, however, were too busy arguing to hear Tatsumi, who simply walked out the door.

"Tsuzuki, I swear, you had better let me go right now!"

"Or what? You'll whack me?"

Hisoka growled, realizing there wasn't much he could actually do that would be a threat to Tsuzuki. He tried pulling away from Tsuzuki again, but the older man had him in a firm grip. "I swear I'll get you back for this one way or another."

"You mean reward me when you realize I was right? Why, thank you!"

Twisting himself around slightly, Hisoka whacked his partner's head. "You're not right!"

"You stopped shivering."

Realizing he had indeed stopped shivering, Hisoka glared, not happy with that revelation. "Because you made me angry." he mumbled. Though, now that he had stopped squirming, he realized that Tsuzuki was kind of warm. And kind of comfortable. It was almost enough to make Hisoka give in and nestle against his partner.

"Aahh! Kannuki! Don't-" Terazuma's voice suddenly rang out in the hall, followed by a loud roar.

Tsuzuki and Hisoka both turned to stare at the doorway, even though they couldn't actually see the event.

"Sounds like Wakaba knows how to keep warm too. Too bad that her partner is a raging hell hound." For a moment, he contemplated offering to keep Kannuki warm in front of Terazuma. Oh, that would really get under his skin.

"Don't cause more problems, idiot." Hisoka growled, having picked up on Tsuzuki's thoughts. He took advantage of the distraction to slip his way out of Tsuzuki's grasp and back to his spot on the couch. He regretted the action after the cold air hit his bare arms again, but wasn't about to admit that, nor was he about to crawl back into Tsuzuki's arms. Instead, he resumed his former position, curled up on the side of the couch. For some reason, the fact he found himself almost wanting to go back to Tsuzuki made him angrier than he already was. Or was that just because he was still cold and this entire day was crazy? Yeah, it had to be because he was still cold and the entire day was crazy.

The empath thought he felt a wave of disappointment from from his partner, though he couldn't be sure.

"I'm just going to get back to work." The smaller Shinigami said, suddenly feeling awkward staying in the room longer. He stood up and walked out the door, heading back to his office. About halfway there, he heard the sound of the air conditioning stop. Hisoka stood still for a moment, listening to make sure he wasn't just going crazy.

"Did the air conditioning finally turn off?" He asked as Tsuzuki approached behind him.

"Seems so."

Hisoka sighed in relief and continued on his way to the office. Sitting down in his chair, resumed his work. The temperature had come back to a tolerable level. Unfortunately, it only lasted a short while before it grew unbearably hot again. With the air conditioning still broken and the temperature outside still blazing, the building didn't take long to heat back up.

"You know what? Screw it. I'm going home!" Hisoka announced, threw down his pen, and, much to Tsuzuki's surprise, walked out the door. It was time to sit in his properly air-conditioned home, relax, and read a nice, long book.