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Chapter 3

I watch Prim as she practically dances her way to her Mister's house tonight. She has visited this door many times. It makes me sick to watch her do this practically every weekend. It also makes me sick to see that she almost likes it. I see I'm mistaking when I watch her wipe a tear from her eye. She then knocks on the door and leans on the door frame taking an extremely provocative pose. The door opens and the man, twice Prim's age, looks her over for a long time. Then he allows her to come in.

I didn't even notice I had stopped until the Capitol guard behind me urges me to move on. We walk up to an extremely large house with many lights burning. I notice many figures moving inside. Ah man, I'm going to be the entertainer at some party. I instantly sigh and start walking with slumped shoulders. The Capitol men just shake their head at me and shove me up to the door. It opens with several women inside; I suggestively raise my eyebrows and say my greeting, "Ladies?"

Before I can even finish the word, I'm pulled inside. Hands don't ever leave my body. I am grateful when they start pouring drink after drink down my throat. Soon I am drunk enough to not care what I'm doing and I know I won't remember a thing in the morning. I smile. I like when my mistress, or in this case, mistresses, provide alcohol.

Prim's pov:

I dance down the streets pretending to be happy. I reach his front door again. Why does it always have to be him? Sure this is one of the younger, more attractive men I have entertained, but his recent obsession with me is scary. I wipe the tears from my eyes and knock on the door. I grasp the door frame partly because I think I might faint and partly because I know if I don't do a "good job" my family will suffer.

He answers the door and looks over me for a long time. His eyes trace every bit of my body. I feel like throwing up but continue to hold my smile. He finally allows me to come in. Before the door even closes, my beautiful gold dress is ripped from my body and thrown over a lamp. He puts his hands on me.

I let my mind black out and my instincts take over. This is the reason I'm constantly learning and practicing new moves. If it becomes a second-nature to me, I don't have to think about it, I don't have to watch this happen to me again. I laugh, pretending to be tickled by this strange man's cool touch but the laugh is really for me. I think it's ironic. A little over three years of this, you think I would be use to it like I told Nick. But I'm not. I guess I really am good at lying. I lied to myself, saying I like to be good at what I do. No, I like to have a family that isn't dead.

The next thing I know, I am waking up. I pet the soft fur of the polar bear rug Josh, the man I'm entertaining, pulled to bed last night. I get out of bed and wander his enormous house. I go to the bathroom and throw up. Yeah, I'm definitely not use to this. I search for some breakfast. I have a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Then I start crying. I'm still a child. Just like Nicky said, I should be in eighth grade. I'm little. What sort of life is this? I think about Nick for a long time. Wonder how he's holding up today.

I carry my bowl with me to the next room and switch on the light. I'm in the living room. Josh set out rose petals last night. They're everywhere except for the trail that leads to the bedroom. I avoid looking at this path. I begin looking for my dress when I start to smell a burning. I look over just in time to see my dress burst into flames from the lamp it was hanging on. Then the fire alarm goes off.

Josh rushes out of his room and scoops me up in his arms, determined to save me. Man this guy was a creeper. I hold my bowl of cereal desperately. I couldn't care less about his house or my well-being. All I know right now is that I'm starving.

Josh continues to hold me as we wait outside for the firemen to show up. He keeps telling me that I shouldn't feel bad and it wasn't my fault. All I do in response is eat another bite of crunch berries.

The flames are beautiful against the dark sky. I giggle just a little bit. It's nothing compared to what I've been through, but in seeing the flames, I feel a small victory. Even if it wasn't intentional, I feel I just made a small act of defiance to the Capitol.

Glimmers of sunlight start to peek through the horizon. Sunrise, I will be collected to get back on the train soon. I squirm my way out of Josh's arms until I'm standing on my own feet. I don't even notice that I have nothing on but a white see through sheet until I receive several whistles and stares from the firemen.

I don't get embarrassed until Nick comes out of his house down the street and takes me in. I look to his eyes for just a second then turn away. I probably look awful to him. Naked, make-up smeared. I feel awful. As he walks up he gives me a nod. The simplicity of the greeting just makes me feel even more ashamed. How I wish I could have the courage to tell him how I feel. That I need out. That I need to be taken away from all of this insanity. Maybe live off in the wilderness? Or run to the fabled District 13? But no, I'm too afraid and proud to admit vulnerability and fragility. But most of all, I'm scared to admit that I'm weak. Incapable of dealing with the stress of this life. But Nick would get it, right? He'd understand. Of course he would, but could I do that to him, ask him to leave behind his mom to save me? If I did she would surely die.

My thoughts are interrupted as fifteen minutes later we're collected for the train. Nick looks at me and laughs, for once, I'm glad to smell alcohol on his lips. Hopefully he won't remember the way I looked this morning. He holds the bottle he stole from his mistress's house, I know it's strong. I pry it from his fingers and drink down half of the bottle. Soon my head is spinning and I pass out. Finally.

Nick's pov:

I wake up surrounded by many women. All are still asleep. I find all my clothes scattered around the house and put them on. I go to the kitchen and open the cupboards, there are many bottles of strong fluids but I ignore them all. I laugh as I find in the last cupboard a box of Cap'n Crunch, Prim's favorite food. I gulf down a bowl quickly.

I hear something happening outside. I open the front door and see her. Prim, clutching a bowl of cereal, a house burning behind her. But what I see that really hurts me is that she's in the arms of another man and she's been crying. Our eyes lock for a second and she looks away.

I step back inside and return to the kitchen. I open the fourth cupboard, the one with the really strong stuff. I grab the first bottle I see and take the cap off with my teeth. I go back outside, nod to Prim, and get to the train where I can hopefully cure my hangover by getting drunk all over again.

The next time I wake up, we're dropping off the district 2 people. We'll be in district four in an hour and a half. I look down, Prim is resting her head on my chest as she sleeps. I smile and soak it in. Then I notice the empty bottle in her hands, it's very unlike Prim to escape her problems by getting drunk. That's my job.

Lily and Lilac open the blinds and let sunlight in, "Rise and shine," they cheer.

The light hits my face and I squint. I try to get away from my headache, "Too bright, too bright!"

I notice Prim has woken up and is taking the light the same way that I am. She moans and buries her face deep into my chest. After a couple minutes she sits up. She examines the empty bottle in her hands. Then she gets up to the train's liquor cabinet. I follow her and push her hand down before she can grab a bottle.

"Prim, don't, you shouldn't be getting drunk like that."

She snorts, "Well, look who's talking."

I sigh, "What I mean is that I've always used this to get away. You, well you did something different. So why can't you just stick with that?"

Her eyes avoid mine for a long time, "Maybe it's not working for me anymore." It's quiet for a long time before she speaks again, "Did you see me this morning?"

"Not if you didn't want me to have." At hearing that I did in fact see her, she yanks the bottle from my hands and opens it. Soon she's hiccupping.

I thought them both having Cap'n Crunch for breakfast was cute. Think about the cereal. Hungry? No that's not why I want you to think of it:D I think it's deep. Tell me what you feel it represents and stuff. I'll give you 20 imaginary points next chapter if I like your answer :D Got no clue? Review me anyways!