Thank you for reading! I don't own any of Harry Potter! Please let me know if you enjoy! Updates every Saturday!
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In her seventh year at Hogwarts, Lily Evans Potter made the mistake of inviting James Potter into her heart.
Less than two years later, eight months pregnant and living with her parents once more, Lily Evans Potter paid dearly for her error after James Potter broke her heart for the final time and filed for divorce.
While she recovered from the birth of her daughter, Harriet Potter, she wrote a letter one afternoon to battle the crippling guilt and remorse that plagued her spirit.
Dear Severus,
I hope you've received the previous letters I've sent you. Although I haven't received a reply, I know that you must be well, I've heard about your classes. Congratulations on securing a position at Hogwarts! That's lovely!
Please know that I am profoundly, truly, sorry for everything that's happened. If I had access to a Time-Turner and I could erase what I'd done, I would undo all my mistakes.
I wish you all the best in life.
Love,
Lily Evans
She sniffed as she wiped away the tears that had gathered in her eyes before she packaged the letter in an envelope and sent it off with an owl.
Lily had fallen victim to the idea of being in love even as the one who had captured her heart had managed to slip past her under a tumultuous torrent of misunderstanding and fear while she had been dazzled by James Potter's charisma and sweet promises.
"WAAAAA!"
"WWWWAAAAAA!"
She cursed under her breath as she stood from the desk in her childhood room and hurried over to the bassinet that had been jammed between her bed and nightstand.
"There's no need to cry, Harriet, darling. Mummy's here………Mummy's here." Lily sighed tiredly as she lifted her screaming baby into her arms to comfort the tiny girl.
Baby Harriet's wild screeches settled into disquieted little grunts as she cuddled against her mother's warm breast.
Lily looked out the window just in time to watch the owl that had taken her letter disappear beyond the backyard's trees.
Abandoned and alone, a single tear dripped down Lily's fair face as she contemplated how very different her world would have been if she had only had the wisdom to have made the correct choice.
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At the age of twenty one, Severus Snape had already become quite accomplished as the youngest professor in Hogwarts' recent history and Lord Voldemort's most trusted servant.
Few people knew that he had also managed to secure himself a dangerous position as Albus Dumbledore's most important spy.
One afternoon in the middle of August, he stood in his home at Spinner's End while he chatted with Bellatrix Lestrange.
His parents had divorced and gone their separate ways the previous year.
To his dismay, he had been left with the house in his care.
The property he had prematurely inherited became the least of his worries while Bellatrix did her best to trap him in a lie as she stalked through his living room like a predator.
Severus maintained his Occlumency while the most recent letter he had received from his dear, darling Lily lay hidden in the pocket of his long, black robes.
"...And you're certain that Dumbledore hasn't said anything to you?...About the Dark Lord?" Bellatrix scowled.
Severus kept his eyes on the wall straight ahead while she walked in slow circles around him with her teeth grit, "Dumbledore asked………..Yet, he does not suspect……..anything."
Bellatrix tested the firmness of his fearless resolve as she sneered in a silent gesture of hateful distrust.
Severus kept his fixed stare as Bellatrix leaned forward and whispered, "Just because the Dark Lord trusts you doesn't mean that I do, Snape. Don't forget that."
"...How could I ever?" Severus drawled.
He dared to let his dark gaze flicker to meet her cold glare until she turned away with a hiss.
"If you don't mind, I have a bit of shopping to do before the evening is upon us." Severus remarked, eager to rid himself of his unwanted company.
"Of course." Bellatrix blinked with her dark eyes wide, "...But don't let me catch you sneaking around doing something that isn't for his good."
"My loyalty remains unchanged, Bella." Severus nodded.
"...If there was any to begin with." Bellatrix snapped sourly.
She shot Severus one last, disapproving grimace before she apparated away and left him alone in his silent living room.
Severus let out a quiet sigh as he glanced around at his bleak surroundings.
A family home without a family, not that his parents could really have ever been considered as such.
Having told the truth about his intentions regarding his outstanding errands, Severus quickly left and headed for Knockturn Alley.
A bill to pay, an item to purchase and then he would be on his way to The Leaky Cauldron for dinner.
While he went about his business over the next hour, he wore his signature scowl of morose melancholy on his pale face.
The letter from Lily made his heart ache as badly as each of the previous ones he had received from her.
What to say?
What to do?
She had married his old enemy, Potter, he had made a child with her, and then the scoundrel had abandoned them.
Regardless, Severus pondered how he may find his way back to his flower given his current situation.
If only he had not gotten involved with the Dark Lord, if only he had not agreed to take the Dark Mark on his arm, he could have rushed to Lily and rescued her without fear of putting her in danger.
Severus's frown deepened as he thought.
Lily wasn't the only one who regretted her choices during the previous years.
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Severus had nearly completed his task list once he made his final stop in Diagon Alley.
He strode down the street, his black shoes clicking along the cobblestones, until a familiar voice stopped him abruptly.
"Sir, please! I can give you two Sickles today…..If I can just have one vial for my daughter….I……I promise I can pay for the rest later this week! Her father should have sent me his share of the money by then!"
Severus ignored the throngs of people that passed him by as he turned around.
His dark eyes widened.
Severus failed to critique her fuller figure or her melancholy expression.
As he watched Lily Evans beg and barter with a potioneer for a vial of Infant's Healing Potion, she looked as beautiful as he remembered.
Severus's heart broke when the potioneer gave her a rude growl in response and slammed the door to his shop directly in her face.
A shrill cry rang out and as Lily turned around, Severus realized the shawl wrapped around her chest betrayed the fact that she was not alone.
"WWWWWAAAAAA!"
"WWWWWAAAAAA!"
Humiliated and exhausted, Lily stepped away from the shop as she bounced her wailing infant and shuffled forward.
No one noticed the young mother's plight.
People bumped into her here and there, jostling the baby in her arms as she struggled to take shelter under a shop roof's ledge.
Severus's determination rose in his heart like the flames of a burning fire.
He could not stand idly by and watch.
For Lily, he broke the promise he had made to her years ago, to stay far, far away……
A question, that was all he would ask.
Severus would assist Lily with obtaining proper care and then he would resume his silent mourning.
Their lives were never meant to intertwine, Severus had accepted that grim reality long ago.
Regardless, he walked towards her.
"WWWWWAAAAAA!"
"WWWWWAAAAAA!"
Startled by the loud noise, baby Harriet refused to calm no matter how much her mother bounced her.
Severus feared he would frighten them both, yet he saw no other way to begin his mission, "...Lily?"
Lily looked up with a startled gasp.
Her emerald eyes widened as she gazed at the physical reminder of the dreadful mistake she made during her Hogwarts years.
"SEV?!?!" She exclaimed.
"WWWWAAAAA!"
"WWWWWAAAAAA!"
The ends of Severus's thin lips threatened to twitch into a bitter smile.
She had addressed him as "Sev", not "Severus".
Lily had not forgotten his old nickname.
"I apologize for bothering you." Severus said before the awkwardness of the situation settled in, "However……I overheard you…..searching for Infant's Healing Potion."
"Um," Lily sniffed as she tried to compose herself. She turned her face away for a single second to wipe away the last of her tears and hold onto what dignity she had left before she faced Severus again and pretended he couldn't observe the gaunt hollowness of her cheeks, "...Uh, yes. I-It's alright, I…um, I should have the money for it by the end of the week."
Severus frowned as the baby's cries continued.
"WWWWWAAAAA!"
"WWWWAAAAAAA!"
He had gained an enviable amount of trust from the Dark Lord.
He could easily explain one dinner with a mudblood, should any of Voldemort's many spies happen to notice him and Lily dining together.
The baby's wails slowly died away as he spoke, "If it is an urgent need…..I happen to have some already brewed that I had prepared for demonstration purposes during my seventh year lecture next week…….The formula yielded more than I intended…….There's plenty to spare."
"Thanks, Sev, but I only have two Sickles I can give you." Lily sniffed as she fought back another wave of tears.
"I'm not asking for any money, Lily." Severus frowned.
She became overwhelmed by his generosity.
The man she had spurned walked back into her life at the most desperate hour with nothing held against her.
He even offered to freely give what her baby, fathered by the man who had tormented him, needed.
Lily found herself forced to turn away and wipe her face once more.
As she moved, Severus caught a glimpse of the red-haired infant that lay swaddled in the sling.
Curiously, the baby blinked her emerald eyes at Severus.
The sight deepened his usual scowl.
Lily had made her choice, yet that didn't lessen Severus's anger at his rival for discarding such a priceless treasure as carelessly as a piece of rubbish.
"Is…..James Potter……truly this despicable after all?" Severus asked with a cutting scoff in his velvet voice as he slowly enunciated his enemy's name.
"No." Lily answered flatly as she wiped her eyes, "...I'm afraid he's worse."
"Are you hungry?" Severus asked as she turned back to him.
"I can….um, I'm staying with my parents for the time being." Lily explained as she bravely looked into Severus's pale face, "I can have something to eat when I get back."
"I'm currently headed to The Leaky Cauldron." Severus frowned, "If you'd rather not wait until you return home, I'd gladly take you with me."
Lily let out a little cry that Severus wasn't quite certain how to interpret.
The baby cooed as he spoke, "...I understand if that is not preferable."
"No, no! That'd be lovely, I just…..I don't know what to say! Sorry!" Lily said as she laughed through a new set of grateful tears.
"It's been a long time." Severus quietly frowned.
"...Because I made a mistake." Lily said with a bitter smile.
Severus's expression visibly shifted into one of hopeful longing.
What had that meant?
Was it possible she-
While he thought, the baby looked at Severus and let out another pleasant coo, which caused Lily to laugh, "I think she likes your voice, Sev!"
"...Shall we?" He asked.
After Lily nodded, he protectively led her and her infant down the street towards Diagon Alley's pub.
It was difficult to determine whose heart beat faster, Severus or Lily's.
What to say?
What to do?
Could the years and the hurt still be erased?
Was it possible Severus had wrongly determined the roles he and Lily would take in one another's lives?