A/N: Hi guys! I don't think many of you are expecting this chapter to be like this, but I think you'll like it! I was going to update yesterday, but I'm sooo hooked on Suits and White Collar, that I just had to watch every single episode till now! Anyway, gotta go to sleep, class tomorrow... UGH IT'S SATURDAY! I'm going to cry!
Freddie's POV
I was amazed. The way Sam interacted with the kids just amazed me. She was so… ugh! AMAZING! Sophie approached me after Sam went to the bathroom, and said she was a keeper, well, that I can agree. I had just the perfect day, happiness was all around me, and I never felt so in love in my whole life, but at the end of the day something felt wrong. Sam was distant, almost lost in her thoughts, and nothing I did seemed to snap her back to reality. She tried to deny, and told me she was just tired, but I knew her better, and I knew something was wrong. Like always, she chose to close herself and not share anything with me, and that made me so mad I couldn't even begin to explain. It wasn't fair, now we're together, we're supposed to share everything, we supposed to trust each other and no matter what help each other thru everything. At least this was what I thought.
She didn't say a word in the trip back home. Her excuse was these kids are so tiny, so young and already had gone thru so much. It was easy to believe at first, because that was the exact same thing I thought when my mother took me there for the first time, but deep down inside I knew that wasn't the whole reason why she was acting that way. However, I decided to not push the subject any further, I believed she would open up to me when she wanted to, when she was ready. As frustrating as the wait might be, it was necessary, I wanted her to come to me willingly, and not because I pushed her. We said goodbye in the hallway, she kissed me and without a word disappeared behind Carly's door.
I took a long shower, not as long as the ones Carly takes when she's frustrated, but long enough to think about a few things. Today was easily one of the best days of my life, seeing Sam interact that way with the kids made my heart skip a beat, I mean, would she act like that with our kids? What am I doing? We're dating for two days and I'm already thinking about kids? Don't be such a girl Benson! I wondered if she felt the same… God I doubt she's even thinking about that, come on! Get your shit together dude!
The day would be perfect if I knew what was wrong with her, but I didn't want to push her into saying, she would tell me when she was right. Only God knows how long that would be, but I wondered if it had anything to do with Patrice. God! I hope not, although I'm happy and flattered that Sam is jealous of me. What a great feeling… but I don't want her to be insecure about us that would be bad. I've worked a lot to get where we are today; the worst thing that could happen is have to go back to the start. I love that crazy blond in a way I could never love anyone else, besides Patrice is not my type. She's too… slutty. No offense. Anyway, I wanted Sam to come to me willingly. A guy shouldn't have to force his girlfriend to tell him her worries and fears; she must do it because she wants to share things with him, not because she's being pressured.
Not bothering on knocking on the door, I just let myself in, like every other time. Carly wasn't in the living room, and Spencer wasn't anywhere. Maybe they're upstairs in her room talking or something. Maybe Sam is in there. Maybe she's telling Carly what happened. I trust my girlfriend and I want her to tell me things, but I had to fight the urge to press my ear against the door. I sighed, away from Carly's door, not wanting to hear anything, not even by accident.
"Carly? Sam?" I called "Carly are you in there?"
"Hey Freddie" Carly opened the door a tiny bit, enough for me to see her head.
"Hey Carly… is everything okay?" I tried to peek, but she didn't allow me.
"I just got off the shower. Do you need anything?" she smiled nervously.
"Oh… where's Sam? Have you seen her?"
"No, well yes. She came here, took a shower and changed, but then she left. I thought she would go to your place or something" she shrugged.
"No… I haven't seen her since I got back" where was Sam?
"Oh, sorry I don't know where she is"
"Never mind, I'll just call her then" I shrugged and turned around "bye Carls"
"Bye Freddie!"
Where the heck is Sam? I called her a thousand of times but she didn't answer me, not even once. I texted her, but she didn't text me back... what the hell? What's going on with her? Is she mad? Is she lost? Hurt? Horrible things started to cloud my mind, I started to get desperate. I called Sam's house, but no one answered, I dropped by just in case, but the doors were locked. I picked the lock in the back door and looked all over the place. No one. I left before someone could call the cops. I drove to every place I knew Sam liked or where I thought she would be... and nothing. SHIT! Where the hell is she? Okay, I'm calling the cops! Or maybe I should call her mom first.
"Carly?" I realized I didn't know Pam's number "It's Freddie"
"Hey Freddie what's up?" she was a little breathless.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm cleaning Spencer's room" she giggled "what do you need?"
"I can't find Sam, Carly, I went to her house, every single place she could be, even the library, I know she likes to read, but I can't find her!"
"OMG Freddie, okay... think... calm down, where else could she be?" she told me not to freak out but she was doing exactly the opposite.
"I don't know... I went to Glitter Gloss, Build A Bra, Robin's Weiner, Chili My Bowl, Groovy Smoothies, Mr. Howards' house, Ms Briggs' house, I thought she might be... you know trashing their house or something. I went to all the markets I know, I called Wendy, Gibby, Brad but no one heard of her" I stopped to breath "I don't what to do Carly..."
"Freddie calm down, I'm sure she's okay, listen... I'll call Melanie and you call Pam okay?"
"Okay, give me her number"
I dialed Pam's number faster than the speed of sound. I drove away not really sure where to go, just looking around. After three times I got a hold of Sam's mom.
"Ms Puckett?"
"Yes, is this the police? Because I've behaving myself real good lately" she hissed.
"No, I'm Freddie Benson, Sam's boyfriend"
"Oh hey Sweet Cheeks, how you're doing?" Sweet Cheeks? And why did she said how you're doing like Joey Tribiani?
"Oh... well I'm looking for Sam... I can't find her, do you have any idea where she might be?"
"Oh kid... no, I'm sorry, did you look for her in the Groovy whatever the hell you kids call place?"
"Yeah, and everywhere else I thought she might be" I didn't want to freak her out.
"Oh... there is this park where she used to go with her dad when she was little; it's two blocks from our house"
"I know where it is, thanks Ms Puckett" I turned around really fast.
"Hey, Sweet Cheeks?"
"Yeah?"
"Call me when you find her alright?" she sounded genuinely concerned.
"Yes Ms Puckett"
"Call me Pam"
"Pam, bye"
"Bye honey" I hung up.
I drove faster than I normally would, because it was already dark, and the park Pam talked about was a little desert at night... a little is just generosity, that place was creepy. Driving like a madman I called Carly to let her know where I was going. She got nothing from Melanie, just like I suspected. It was the same place she took me after our second date, but she wasn't there. I'm calling the cops... I'm fucking calling the feds, CIA and the white house! Carly called me ten minutes later, crying. She couldn't get a hold of Sam either, and I was completely losing my mind. I went back home to take Carly and Spencer and go to the police station, the whole time calling Sam's phone. I went home and grabbed my ID, I didn't realize I didn't have it with me, I tried to call her one more time, just when I was about to leave I heard a melody...
You make me feel like I'm living s teenage dream, the way you turn me on I can't sleep let's run away and don't ever look back...
It came from the fire escape... could it be? My heart jumped hoping she was there safe and sound. And she was. Her back was turned to me and she gazed the starry sky. A mix of feelings took over me; anger, relief, sadness and love. Forcing myself to calm down, I took a deep breath and joined her there. Sam didn't notice me until I touched her. She turned around and looked at me with no emotion what so ever. I stepped forward and hug her, so tight I'm sure she couldn't breathe, but she didn't complain. I hang there for almost a minute before pulling away abruptly and snapping at her. I couldn't help being angry, she must've known I was calling, and she ignored me, she disappeared the entire day and left me wondering a million of horrible scenarios where she was hurt or dead.
"What the hell Sam?" I yelled "where the hell where you?"
"Right here" she shrugged.
"Right here? The whole day?" I couldn't believe.
"Yeah"
"What the fuck? Didn't you see me calling? Because I called you a thousand times! And Carly, and your sister, and Spencer, and Wendy, and Gibby and Brad and your mom! Fuck Sam!"
"I didn't want to see or talk to anybody" she said nonchalantly.
"You didn't...?" I took a deep breath "you didn't want to see anybody. Not even me?"
"No" I never felt so hurt before.
"You have any idea what I've through? I looked all over for you. I got desperate! I almost crashed the car twice" I saw her show some emotion for the first time since I got here "yeah, I could be dead by now, but I didn't care, because the only thing I thought about was finding you! I was on my way to the police station, do you know that?" she shook her head "because I couldn't find you! Because I got scared! Afraid that something could happen to you! Do you have any idea how I felt? And Carly? And your mother? Shit!" I kicked the chair I always left out here "And this whole time you were here?"
"Freddie..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again "I wasn't here all day okay, I went for a walk, and then I came here. I didn't want to talk; I wanted to be alone"
"Couldn't you just tell me that? So I wouldn't freak out?"
"I'm... see, this can't work, I'm the way I'm and I'm never going to change Benson! I'm selfish, I only think about myself and I don't give a damn about anyone else!" she snapped.
"No, Sam... That's not truth" I tried to touch her but she walked away.
"Yes it is Freddie and you know it! At some point in this relationship I'm going to do something that's going to be too much for you to take! So do both of us a favor, just walk away while we're still friend" WHAT? IS SHE BREAKING UP WITH ME?
"What? Are you breaking up with me?"
"No, I'm giving you the chance to do it. Go ahead and do it" she spoke softly.
"I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't think you remember what I told you on our first date, or when I asked you to be my girlfriend, or this morning!" I yelled "I'm not breaking up with you, I don't care what you say, I'm not doing it!"
"Freddie..." she took a step closer to me "don't you see... this" she motioned between us "is not meant to last"
"You're crazy Puckett; if you think I'm giving up after the first day" I hugged her tight and she tried to push me away, but failed miserably "tell me what is wrong Sam, please"
She closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder.
"I don't wanna screw things up Freddie, but I know I will, someday I'm going to do something so bad that's going to make you want to leave" I held her tighter "and I don't want to lose our friendship"
"Sam... That doesn't make any sense. I've been around you for years now, you were mean and violent to me, but I never left, why would I leave now?"
"I don't know... because you're expecting a girlfriend and not a bully! You have expectations on this relationship but I can't fulfill them Freddie. You want a girl who's going to treat you right, not me"
"Hey... stop it okay? You wanna know my expectations of this relationship?" she nodded "I want you to love me. That's all I want"
"Freddie..."
"Sam, listen, I'm not expecting to hear you say that, especially not yet, okay? I wanna be with you Sam, that's all I want. You. I know you for so long and I know who you are. I'm not stupid to believe that suddenly you're going to turn into Carly or Melanie, and I don't want that. I want you and all that you are. I don't want a perfect girl, I want the girl who's perfect for me, and that's you. I love to bicker with you, my life would be so boring without you in it, and I don't want that to change. I want us to be Sam and Freddie, not a perfect couple. God how boring would that be?" I chuckled "I'm not breaking up with you and you're not going to break up with me. If someday you do something really bad, you'll just have to fix it, because I'm not going anywhere! Got it?" She pulled away to look at me "I wanna be with you"
"But why? Why?"
"Why...?" I pulled away completely "meet me here in half an hour and I'll tell you why"
"Freddie..."
"No! Now go to Carly's cause she's freaking out, and call your mom okay?" I kissed her forehead "okay?"
"Okay" she nodded and walked away.
I have half an hour... that's not enough to do much, but who cares? I'll work on something simple and amazing, just like Sam.
Sam's POV
I walked into Carly's apartment feeling more ashamed than that night at the lock-in. Until now I haven't realized how worry they must've been. My mother, Carly, Spencer and even Melanie. But I needed sometime by myself, to think, to reflect about things. With Freddie around I knew I couldn't do much thinking; he made every single doubt in my mind disappear when he was around. Even trying my best to ignore what Patrice said this afternoon, I couldn't because she was right.
She was right.
I know deep down inside something is going to happen that's going to push Freddie away from me. It's inevitable. That's my nature. That's who I'm. But then again, I've been trying to push him away for years and it never worked, so why would it work now? Maybe because I couldn't believe he had no expectations about this relationship other than love. He wanted me to love him, and that was enough for him, so it should be for me. But it wasn't. I was scared; this is all new for me. Not the love I have for him, that's old news, but us together, being a couple, that's new. I'm not very comfortable with new things, changes scare the hell out of me, and I just keep thinking he is going to leave.
Just like my father did.
Because in the end, everybody leaves, and I couldn't bear if he left too. So I guess it would be easier to just let go of him now when I still have his friendship, but at the same time I don't want to. I wanna know where this is going to go. I wanna see what happens. I want him. That's why I ignored everyone today, because my head is confused and my heart even more. My head says that the best is for this to end, that this is not meant to last, that I'm going to get hurt and hurt him. But my heart tells me to stay, tells me to don't let go, to hold onto him for dear life, because this is true love, and it doesn't happen twice. Long story short, I'm bonkers.
The minute I stepped into the apartment, Carly threw herself at me, hugging tightly. I felt so bad for worrying her so much, but I needed time to think, I hope she understands that. Carly pulled away and slapped my arm, hard. I didn't know she could slap like that.
"Ow!" I rubbed my arm.
"Where were you? Shit Sam! Do you know how crazy we were? Do you have any idea? I feel like killing you right now!" she slapped me again "I have to call Freddie! He must be on his way to the police station right now"
"No, I already talked to him, he found me"
"Oh... where is him?"
"Listen, I have to call my mom now okay..." I tried to walk away but she held my arm "Carls..."
"No! You're going to tell me where you were!" I looked at the other people in the room. Spencer, Brad, Wendy and Gibby "guys, please leave us alone for a bit"
"Okay" Spencer nodded "don't do that again, you heard me?" he said.
"Okay" after everybody left, Carly threw me at the couch "Carly!"
"Start talking!" there was no point arguing with her.
"I'm no good for him okay! I'm going to do something that's going to push him away. He is going to leave me because I'm not a good girlfriend!" I snapped.
"Sam, how can you be so stupid? How can you be so coward? You've been dating him for less than a week and you're already acting like this. And you call Freddie a wuss"
I was shocked. Completely taken by surprise, Carly was yelling at me, like she never did before. And saying these things...
"She's right Carly! Why can't you see? Why can't he see? I'm not going to change! I'm who I'm"
"You're not making any sense right now! Who said what?"
"It doesn't matter! It's truth. I was trying to get us all out of this mess while I still have time" I stormed out to the kitchen.
"Sam! Stop it! What are you talking about?" she followed me
"Me, Carly! Me! I'm going to do something to ruin my relationship with Freddie, someday he's going to grow tired of this treatment and leave me, so I was giving him the chance to do it already!" I couldn't control myself, I started to cry. I needed to cry, I wanted to cry, because the thought of losing him was excruciatingly painful.
"Oh my God Sam! Don't be stupid! Freddie likes you for who you are just like you like him for who he is. He knows you, maybe even better than me! He knows you're not like most girls and still he wants to be with you. Shouldn't that be enough?"
"But it isn't!"
"It is! Sam... Look, I never saw a guy look at a girl the way he looks at you. I wish I had someone to look at me like that. Let me ask you something; did Freddie ever back out of a fight with you? No, I'm pretty sure he enjoyed as much as you and maybe more, because let's face it, without it his whole existence would be pretty boring. He never asked you to change or expected you to. You never had to change for him. Remember when you wanted to be girly to date Pete? Did that work? No. When you were with Jonah, you were all mushy and out of yourself. Did that work? No. Freddie is the only guy in your life that accepted you for who you are Sam, and you're the only girl is his life to love him for who he is. You know him and he knows you, you two just work together. Stop feeling this way, because it makes absolutely no sense"
My eyes never left hers. Carly was right. Freddie was the only one who ever liked me for me, and he knows me better than anyone, he knows I'm not going to change, he knows it. He knows me. Maybe I'm just afraid, I'm just a chicken because I'm not used to being this happy, I just can't help but think the world is going to come down on me. What I lack is faith; I need to trust more and to hope for the best. I need to have faith in that dork, and I need to have faith in me. Carly hugged me, she allowed me to cry on her shoulder and she stroke my hair, all the time she kept telling me that it was okay to trust people, it was okay to get attached, not everyone leaves.
"Now tell me who told you this" she pulled away and wiped my tears "was it Patrice?"
"She kinda had a point..." I sobbed.
"Sam! That girl wants your boyfriend, she's going to do or say anything to steal him from you! I can't believe that you of all people would give a shit about what she has to say!"
"I know, but at the time it made sense" I sounded so stupid.
"It doesn't!" she kissed my forehead "stop crying for nothing crazy girl. That's not you Sam, and I don't think this is the girl Freddie wants. So snap out of it! Get a hold of yourself, you're being pathetic" WOW.
"Oh... right, I shouldn't even be here. Freddie wants me to meet him at the fire escape and I'm already late. I have to use your bathroom and clean up this mess" I pointed at my face "Could you call my mom and tell her I'm alive?"
"Sure thing Puckett"
What does he want to tell me? What's going to happen? Get a hold of yourself Puckett, you're not a crying girl, but looks like you've reach the bottom. You're being weak, and that's not who you are, that's not the girl Freddie wants. Who the hell is Patrice to know what he needs? She doesn't even know him. I know him, I know everything about him. I know he likes his banana splat with less sugar when it's raining. I know that he loves Galaxy Wars a little too much. I know that sometimes he speaks with his action figures. I know he can't stand Mrs. Benson, but that he loves her more than anything. I know that he doesn't like his father. I know that he sees Gun Smoke as a father, Spencer as an older brother and Carly as a sister. I know that he is happy about having Brad as a friend. I know he likes his toasts with jelly and he hates peanut butter. I know he likes coffee, and even though his mother never allows him to drink it, he does it anyway. I know his favorite color is blue and he hates yellow. I know that he secretly likes John Hughes' movies, although he hates chick flicks. I know he has a different smile for every kind of emotion. I know he is ambidextrous. I know he likes electronic music, and he dances alone in his room. I know he loves Stephen King's books, and that he is afraid of most of them. I know he likes Dawson's Creek; he hates Dawson and loves Pacey. I know his favorite characters from Friends are Ross and Chandler. I know he loves Dexter. I know his favorite Batman is Kilmer's, but his favorite movie is the Dark Knight, and that he was rooting for The Joker. I know he loves Harry Potter, his favorite character is surprisingly Ron and not the smart ass Hermione, and that he has a wand hiding somewhere in his bedroom. I know he has a major crush on Leighton Meester and Lea Michele. I know him, she doesn't. So screw her, she doesn't know a damn thing.
I stepped into the fire escape and my jaw hit the floor. There was Christmas lights everywhere, a sleeping bag, a big picnic basket, two pillows and Freddie's stereo. The dork stood there, gazing me, and I'm sure he never looked so attractive before. He was using the same clothes, but there was something about his face, that made him seem even more appealing to me. Those fantastic eyes, gazing me with intensity, those perfect shaped lips smiling at me, that ridiculously soft hair messed up by the wind… all for me. Freddie held his hand up for me to take it and so I did.
"Freddie? What?" I looked around "what's all this?"
"Sam… no questions, just dance with me" he turned on the stereo and held me closer.
Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am
"You asked me why I want to date you right?" he spoke softly.
"Yeah" he pressed his body closer to mine as we danced.
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn?
All the love I have is in my mind
Well, I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands
"Shall we start from the beginning?" I nodded, because what else could I do? "I love how you can make me laugh and make me angry at the same time. You are a walking talking contradiction Sam Puckett. You're pretty, and witty, and impossible. You have the ability to drive me completely insane, whether you're offending me or kissing me. You just do it. You manage to make me happy even when you're trying to make me sad, and that's priceless. Even when you try to push me away I find myself feeling closer to you more and more every day. What frustrates me the most is that you refuse to acknowledge your own qualities. You only see the bad side Sam, but I see the good side, in fact I even like your bad side, because it makes you who you are" he leaned closer and kissed me.
Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am
"And I know all you flaws, still I don't feel threatened or scared by them, I love them all, like that little scar in your knee, it's so sexy, you have no idea. And the way you eat like a truck driver, I think it's very cute seeing covered in barbeque sauce" he chuckled and kissed me again "but I don't like seeing you insecure, especially because of me, when I'm so sure that you're the one I want"
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn?
All the love I have is in my mind?
"Every second of a day with you is not enough to satisfy the urge I have to be close to you. You have the looks of a princess, but you behave like a pauper, and for me that's a perfect combination. You're tough, but not heartless, and I saw that today, the way you cared about those kids… made me want to have kids with you. I love the effortless way that you can make people laugh, and I love that unlike all the girls I know you're comfortable in your own skin. I love how it doesn't take you hours to get dressed, but still you manage to look stunning" my eyes were filled with tears… shit, control yourself woman!
I hope you understand
I hope you understand
Gotta love that'll never die
Control yourself Puckett…. Don't cry… don't you dare cry! I fought the tears, but it was hard when he was looking at me like that, with those deep brown eyes, gazing through my soul. It was hard to think when he was this close, because he did something to my heart, and to my head, and definitely to my legs. They were so weak, I needed to grip him hard not to fall, because when he was close, this close, saying this things, I felt weak, but in a good way.
Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh my, my
"Sam, I love the way you look at me, I absolutely love that, it makes me feel unique, wanted and loved. You have no idea what you do to me. One smile, one kiss, one touch, one look can bring me to my knees and take straight to heaven at the same time"
Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man
"I feel so lucky to have you in my life Sam, you have no idea how special I feel when you're around. It hurts me so much when you try to push me away, because all I wanna do is be close to you"
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
"I wanna date you Sam Puckett, because you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out. Because you don't pretend to be someone you're not, and when you do you suck at it! You're one in a million and I feel so lucky to be the guy who got to hold you, to kiss you, to be near you. You make me feel so bold, brave, weightless. You bring the best and the worst in me. Without you in my life I would be forever a wuss, a weakling, you made me stronger. You made me a better version of myself, and I can't begin to thank you for that…"
Oh my, my
Oh my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh my, my
Oh my, my
"But in the end Sam, the reason why I want to date you is very simple… three words, eight letters, and simple. I want to date you because…" his eyes lit up suddenly "I love you"
Freddie's POV
She didn't say anything. She didn't move, or blink or breath, and that made me worried. Did I cross the line? Did I rush things? Did I say something I shouldn't? Was this too much for her to take? Why isn't she saying anything? She's just looking at me, with no emotion what so ever, and I braced myself waiting for her to laugh at my face and tell me not be such a girl. But that never happened. All the sudden, it was like she woke up from a dream, and for the first time since I said the L word she really looked at me. Like really looked, but she didn't say anything. I was preparing myself to break the silence when she did it. Thank God.
"Don't say if you don't mean it Benson" her voice wasn't menacingly, it wasn't warning, it wasn't bitter. Her voice wasn't weak, but vulnerably.
"I mean it. I've been feeling this way for a while now, but I never had to guts to tell you. I was planning it carefully, this" I motioned to the fire escape decoration "was all I could do in half an hour, but I was planning so much more Sam"
"I don't care about decoration Freddumb, all I wanna know is if you mean it. You really mean that?" she insisted.
"Yes Puckett, I mean it" I smiled "every word" she went silent again.
"Freddie… I'm not really comfortable with the L word, you know that…" I cut her off pressing my lips against hers.
"I know Sam, and I need you to understand that I'm not expecting you to say it back, I really don't. But I need to say it, because God… I mean every bit of it. When I saw you here, when I knew you were okay and safe, all I thought about was how much I loved you. And hearing you say those things, made me so mad with myself, because I'm always asking you to be honest and open with me, and I'm hiding this feeling from you. I felt stupid, I needed to tell you, I wanted to let you know so you wouldn't feel that way, because I don't care about the pet names, I don't care about the insults, and I don't care about the banters, I don't care, because I love you. And because I love you everything else seems so small"
She took a deep breath then burst into laughter. There, I knew she was going to mock me and my feelings. Sam was laughing really hard, she had her eyes closed, and her hands griped my shoulders. That started to bother me deeply, I'm here confessing my love for her and she's laughing in my face!
"What?" I finally asked "what are you laughing of?"
"I… me… Freddie… oh God!" she snorted "I'm laughing because… I'm so stupid!" she cracked up again.
"Okay… I'm confused"
"I'm behaving like a stupid insecure teenage girl, and that's stupid! God Benson… I'm such a wuss" she cracked up one more time.
"No you're not… I get that this" I held her a little tighter "it's all new for you, being my girlfriend and all. And because of who we are, that scares you" I watched her smile disappear "because we're friends, you think that you're going to do something that will ruin our friendship too right?" she nodded "well, you've tried worse Puckett, and I'm still here, so if you want to push me away you'll have to improve your game"
"I can do that" she smirked.
"I'd like to see you try" I challenged her.
"Oh, it's on!" she kissed me gleefully "you know I'm going to need some time right, to say it back, cause I'm not really comfortable with this phrase yet"
"I know, and I don't mind waiting. I only wanna hear it when you're ready, in the mean time, why don't we stop the whole lovely couple thing and just act like ourselves?"
"You really want that?" I saw a little hint of insecurity in her eyes.
"Yes. I get the kicks you know…" she laughed.
"Pervert" she kissed me again "hey Fredperv?"
"Yeah?" I don't really like this pet name.
"Why there's a sleeping bag and pillows here?" she raised her eyebrow suspiciously.
"Well, Ms. Dirty Mind, I thought we could just hang here for a while, lie down and talk about nothing and everything at the same time"
"So, no second intentions?" she smirked.
"Well... I can't lie that I was expecting some making out, but that's only it I swear" it was truth. That was a difference between what I expected and what I wanted.
"Uh… I believe you, you're too much of a dork to get it on outdoors" Sam chuckled "wuss"
"Demon! And you're understating me Puckett" I nibbled her earlobe and she purred.
"That basket?" she asked when I pulled away.
"Food and beverage. Bacon, meatballs, fatcakes, ham, fatcakes, chicken legs, five large subs, and six cans of peppy cola" Sam bit her lip and looked over the picnic basket "let's eat Princess"
Sam's POV
After eating all the food in the basket, Freddie and I lay on the sleeping bag, cuddling. You don't think Sam Puckett likes to snuggle right? Well, that's just one of my many guilty pleasures. I rested my head on Freddie's chest and he had his arm wrapped around me, it was a quite comfortable position, but then again, he always made a good pillow. We're silent for more than twenty minutes, just enjoying each other's company, and it wasn't awkward at all. My ear was pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeats, and he used his free hand to play with my fingers. My leg was above his, and my socked foot was moving up and down from his foot to his shin, I can tell he likes that, because he was purring. Without a warning, I felt his hand sneaking inside my shirt to touch my skin. Now I realize his hands are not so soft anymore. I used to think that Freddie had girlish hands, now they're bigger and manly, I guess that's due his recent athletics activities. And thank God for them. Beside his heartbeats the only sound I'm paying attention to is the music. He made a special playlist for this night, and his song selection pleases me deeply. So far that was the perfect soundtrack; this boy has a good taste for music.
*Freddie's Playlist*
The Verve – Lucky Man
Maroon 5 – She will be loved
Michelle Branch – It's you
Parachute – Forever and always
Train – Your every color
Lifehouse – Hanging by a moment
Lady Gaga – Yoü and I
Adele – Crazy for you
Bruno Mars – Just the way you are
Lady Antebellum – Just a kiss
The Script – I'm yours
Snow Patrol – Just say yes
John Mayer – Daughters
The Cranberries – Linger…
"Freddie? Are you awake?" I asked because he was awfully quiet.
"Yeah… I'm" he started to play with my fingers again.
"I really like your taste for music" I snuggled closer.
But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you…
"Thanks. You have good taste for music too Sam" he held me tighter.
"You're not mad at me because I couldn't say the L word, are you? You're not sad right?" I lifted my head up to look at him. Freddie had his eyes closed and he was smiling.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha…
"No, I'm not" he opened his eyes "like I said before, I just wanna hear it when you're ready to tell me. I would be mad at you if you told me but you didn't mean it"
"Oh. I would never do that Fredhunk. It might take a while, you're sure you can wait for it?" I smirked.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to…
"I'm not in a hurry" she smiled "I'm comfortable with the way things are, demon, but I like my new set of nicknames" his smile turned into a smirk.
"Oh, so the dork likes the new nicknames huh?" he nodded "I'll keep that in mind Freddog. Let's make out"
Do you have to let it linger?
I made out with the dork until one am, and it was amazing. After that he kissed and held me for ten minutes against Carly's door before letting me go. Tonight was the most perfect night of my life. He loves me… loves me… love. He said it, and he didn't even hesitated, he was so truthful, so sweet and sure. He was patience and didn't pressure me to say it back. I do love him, a lot for a long time, but I'm quite comfortable with the L word yet. Admitting it to myself was a challenge; it took all the strength I had just to think about it. Saying is another thing, saying is complicated and I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that yet. Carly was giggling on the phone when I got to her room, she was quick and hung up telling me it was Wendy, but I didn't buy it. Too happy to argue I just nodded and told her what happened. She squealed and giggled, and we fell asleep after talking for one hour. I had a dream, that Freddie and I were in the fire escape, snuggling in his sleeping bag just saying how much we loved each other, maybe Carly's girly ways are poisoning me… or maybe I'm just bracing myself to the day that I'll have to tell him I love him. The last thing that came to my mind, before I blacked out for good, was Freddie's eyes when he told me he loved me. The way his, ridiculously deep brown, eyes stared at me with no fear, and lots of love… that image was branded into my mind forever.
Carly's POV
After Sam told me everything that happened yesterday, one thought came to my mind: I needed to talk to Freddie. He needed to know what Patrice was up to; I couldn't let her break them apart. They loved each other, and love is the most important thing in the world. I'm not strong like Sam, but if this girl cross the line and hurt them, I'll personally kill her, with my own hands. I would do anything for my friends and they would do the same for me, and since Sam refused to talk to Freddie about it, I had to take the lead and just do it. No bitch is going to stay between them; I'll make sure of that. Patrice is not going to hurt Sam again while I'm alive, and if she does that… well, I have Wendy, Melanie, Tasha and a few other girls to help me rip her skin off. Sam is not the only bad ass motherfucker here!
I wouldn't allow any girl to steal Freddie away from Sam. Or any guy to steal Sam away from Freddie. No one is going to break Seddie apart! Besides, I think Sam would never recover if Freddie leaves her too. She thinks that just because her father left, everyone is going to leave. I knew how much his absence hurts her, but she refuses to talk about it, she doesn't want to at least try to find him and ask him why he left. She just pretends it doesn't bother her and shrug every time I talk about it. Same thing with Freddie, he doesn't talk about his dad, I actually don't know what happened to him. Unlike Sam's dad, who I actually knew a few things about, Freddie's father was always a mystery to me. Other than his name is Frederick Benson, I knew nothing about him. But I don't have the right to meddle, at least not in their family business, but as for their love life, I can't promise anything.
Sam and Freddie were arguing about what kind of ice cream was better. To anyone else it looked like a heated fight, but to me it was just Sam and Freddie being Sam and Freddie. In the end, Sam was in the middle of calling Freddie a know-nothing-dork when he just grabbed her and kissed her. I noticed that kissing each other mid-sentence was something they did quite often, how cute. When they broke apart, Sam smiled at him and let him held her close, until the bell rang.
"I have to go to class… ugh!" Sam growled.
"Me too. Good class babe" Freddie kissed her forehead.
"Are you sure you're talking to me?" she frowned.
"You're right… good nap in your class babe" he chuckled.
"Now you're talking to me nub" she kissed him "good class for you nerd, bye Carls"
"Bye Sam" I waved at her.
As soon Sam turned the corner Freddie was forced to take his eyes off her ass… oh boys! When he was ready to leave I grabbed his arm and pushed him to the janitor's closet, we didn't get in, I just pushed him against the door.
"What the hell Carly?" he said jerking my hand away.
"We need to talk" I looked around to searching for people, but the hallway was empty "about Sam"
"What about her?" he fixed his shirt.
"She told me why she disappeared on us yesterday" I whispered.
"She told me too…"
"No, she told you how she felt, but not why she felt that way" he looked confused "listen Freddie, Sam only went all crazy yesterday after you came back from the hospital right?"
"Yeah…"
"Well… Sam was feeling insecure because Patrice told her all that stuff"
"Bullshit" he snorted.
"Bulltruth! Don't you see Freddie? That girl is trying to break you guys apart!" I yelled/whispered.
"No Carly… come on, why would she do that?" he looked at me in disbelief.
"Because she wants you, are you so oblivious that you don't see that?" I slapped him head.
"Ow… come on, she doesn't want me. And besides she had plenty opportunities to have me when I was single, and she didn't voice it, so why now?"
"Because, when you were single there was no fun. And besides, have you looked yourself in the mirror lately? You are handsome Freddie, very attractive" he smirked a bit "after Sam kissed you in the lock-in, something changed in you, I don't know, you look more alive, happy, and somehow more attractive. I guess love does that to a person. And now that you're Sam Puckett's boyfriend, makes the chase even more appealing to her. That's what she likes Freddie, and everybody knows it, she likes good guys that are happy with their girlfriends, and she likes to break them apart, corrupt them, have a little bit of fun with them, then go to the next one. Now tell that you believe me"
"Carly…" he sighed "what Sam told you?"
"She told that Patrice said all that stuff to her, she actually believed that Patrice had a point. I mean… can you believe that? Sam is insecure about love Freddie, that's why she didn't tell you she loved you yesterday, because she is afraid to open up to you and then lose you. Patrice already noticed her weakness, and she is going to explore that to her favor. Sam didn't want to tell you this, so she wouldn't look stupid and girly to you, but she is afraid that Patrice might succeed. I just thought you should know what's going on"
"I can't believe this… now that you said it; some things kind of make sense. A day or two after my first date with Sam, Patrice approached me and asked me out. At first I didn't think it was a big deal. I told her no, and Sam dragged me out of there pretty quick. After that, Patrice started to talk to me, asking me things during classes and being very nice. This one time, she came by my apartment and brought me homemade cookies to me and my mom. I knew that weren't in fact homemade, because my mom buys the same kind every month, but I didn't say anything because Patrice was bragging about her cooking skills. After I told her I had to get ready for iCarly, she kissed me in the cheek and said goodbye, I never really saw any harm in it. But now when I think about it… she was sitting pretty close to me in the couch… this was before I asked Sam to be my girlfriend. I can't believe I didn't notice this…"
"Well, you didn't notice Sam was in love with you since forever… I guess you're pretty oblivious to your love life Freddie. So? Are you going to do something about it?" I put my hands on my waist.
"Yes, but I need you to distract Sam for during lunch. I'll do it here when everybody is eating" I nodded.
"Okay, now go to class" I turned around to leave.
"Carly?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you" he smiled.
"Just put an end to this" he nodded and we went on our separate ways.
General POV
Carly distracted Sam during lunch, or at least she tried. Sam said she needed to go to the bathroom and when Carly offered to accompany her; Sam frowned at her and just left. The truth was; Sam was looking for Freddie. Carly had told her he had to do something for the AV club, but Sam knew better. In fact she knew he was up to something and Carly was helping him. Sam said goodbye to her friend and boyfriend and went to class. In the minute she stepped into class, she got into a fight with Miss Briggs and got kicked out. When she was walking to the principal's office, she overheard Carly and Freddie talking.
FLASHBACK
Sam was walking down the hall to explain Ted, she was just getting her book off the floor when Miss Briggs started yelling at her. She saw Freddie and Carly against the janitor's closet talking. She knew she shouldn't eavesdrop, but when her best friend and her boyfriend were hiding something from her, she had the right to sneak and listen to whatever they were saying.
"…So? Are you going to do something about it?" Carly asked.
"Yes, but I need you to distract Sam for during lunch. I'll do it here when everybody is eating" she nodded.
"Okay, now go to class" Carly turned around to leave.
"Carly?" Freddie called her name before she could.
"Yeah?" she turned back to him.
"Thank you" he smiled.
"Just put an end to this" Freddie nodded before going to class, Carly did the same.
Sam hid pretty quick, before he could notice her presence. Her heart sunk, she felt like hyperventilating. What Carly and Freddie were hiding from her? The possibility of her two best friends betraying her crossed her mind, but she tried to calm down, she needed proof of what the hell was going on. And when Carly told her Freddie wasn't going to eat with them today, she knew something was up. She dodged Carly and went looking for Freddie.
END OF FLASHBACK
Sam tried her best to stay calm, she was quiet and hid inside the janitor's closet, open the door a slight bit just enough to see them. Freddie arrived two minutes later, with Patrice following him right behind. She was smiling seductively and Sam's heart sunk. She knew this was going to happen, and she had to fight the urge to cry because he said he loved her, but much like her father, he lied.
"Patrice, I need to ask you a favor" Freddie had his back turned to Sam.
"Yes Freddie…" she approached him flipping her hair "I knew eventually you would come looking for me, I knew you would realize that I can give you things that girl can't" she put her hand on his shoulder and he didn't move away.
"I bet that you would never guess why I'm here"
"And why are you here?" she ran her fingers over his shoulder.
"To ask you to BACK. THE. FUCK. OFF" he jerked her hand away violently.
"What?" she took a step back confused.
"I know what you told Sam yesterday. I know what you're doing, and guess what this is not going to work. I would never leave Sam to have a fling with you. You're not worth it" Sam's heart somehow managed to beat again, she couldn't believe this.
"Freddie… don't you see, this girl is not for you" Patrice tried to touch him, but he pushed her away.
"This girl is the one for me because I love her. Your little game is not going to work, because I'm head over heels with her, I'm completely in love, and she is the only one I want" this time Sam couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"Sooner or later, you're going to change your mind Freddie, and when you do, I'll be here… waiting" Sam wanted to jump out of that closet and kick her ass, but she forced herself to calm down.
"Don't bother, because that's not going to happen. Do me a favor Patrice and just forget about me, go look for somebody else and leave us alone"
"I'm not going to forget you, I want you, but until you figure out that you want me too, I'll back off"
"Good, because that's going to last forever. I could never feel for you what I feel for Sam, I'm sorry but you are wasting your time"
"Okay, Freddie, I'll back off, but that doesn't mean I won't be waiting" she tried to kiss his cheek, but he pulled her away "just come look for me when you come to your senses" then she left.
Something told Sam, that this wasn't the end, but just one more step in Patrice's game. She was playing nice, because if she revealed to Freddie she was an evil bitch, she would lose the game, and that wasn't acceptable, not for her. Freddie leaned against the lockers and sighed. Sam wanted to jump off the janitor's closet and kiss him senseless, she wanted to thank him for everything he said, and she wanted to kiss him and tell him she loved him. But what if he got mad at her for eavesdropping? That shouldn't be a big deal, but Sam knew Freddie would be mad because she didn't trust him. Without doing much thinking, Sam stepped out of the janitor's closet and attacked Freddie's mouth.
"Sam?" he gasped "what?" she kissed him once "are you…?" she kissed him twice "doing…? What's…? Happening…?" she kissed him three times.
"I'm sorry…" she kissed his lips "I'm so sorry Freddie" she kissed his cheeks "I'm sorry"
"Wait" he grabbed her arms and pulled her off him "what's going on?"
"I was listening to your conversation because when I was on my way to Ted's office I heard you and Carly being weird and I thought something was wrong, so I waited here to see what was up, and I heard you talking to Patrice…" she confessed ashamed.
"Sam! You gotta trust me! God! I can't believe you" he was really upset.
"I'm so sorry okay. But I got scared, if Brad and I were hiding something from you, wouldn't you wanna know?" she grabbed his shoulders making him look at her "I'm sorry"
"It's okay. I guess it's my fault too. No more secrets okay? I just wished you would've told me" she interlaced their fingers.
"I'm sorry for that. And no more secrets" she kissed him and he wrapped his arms around her.
They hugged for a while, and Sam didn't want to let go, but she pulled away enough to look at him.
"Freddie?" now was the time, to let her fears aside and just admit her love for him, because no one in the world could compare to him, and because it was truth, she loved him. So why should she hide that from him when he would announce his love for the world to hear, and more importantly, to her?
"Yeah?"
"I love you" and there it was, the L word. She said it and nobody died, not a single part of her body fell off the place and he still didn't leave.
"You mean that?" he remained completely serious, like her when he told her he loved her.
"Yeah. First I was afraid to admit it, but I don't care anymore, I need you to know. And I also need you to know that is not going to be like that all the time, I'm not going to say I love you every day, and when I say it, it's not going to be in public, I need you to be aware of that. I'm going to say it whenever I want to say it" she was honest.
"I don't care Sam, in fact I rather this way, because otherwise it wouldn't be you, and I want you" he leaned down and kissed her again, very softly and very slowly "but say it again"
"Freddie… what I just told you?"
"I know, I know… but please, just one more time" he wanted to be able to say I love you too.
"Fine…" she sighed "I love you"
"I love you too" they grinned like two fools, and kissed each other.
Freddie picked her up lifting her off the floor; Sam took her feet off the ground and pretended she was flying, because deep down inside she was. When they walked into the cafeteria together, holding hands, Carly smiled at them, and when her friend smiled back she knew everything was fine. Sam didn't even bother to look at Patrice's face, she didn't care anymore, if that bitch tried anything ever again, she knew Freddie would handle things himself, and that Patrice didn't stand a chance against her. Or she could just punch her to dead, any of those things were good for her.
And in the end Patrice was wrong.