I'm using my anger and rant energy to type these chapters, and I'm starting to run out, which means slower updates. (Not that a lot of people read this, but to the like, ten people that do, gomeinasai!)
Thank you NyammiToast for pointing out the grammatical error on my profile! I stabbed it with a brick and killed it! See? *holds up dead grammatical error*
Also, thank you SleeplessRiot, for being the first person to review!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:04 AM: Why am I here?
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:04 AM: I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with one of the authors grammar rants.
Lychee547 at 8:05 AM: It's not a grammar rant this time, it's a rant about chat room format and short chapters!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:05 AM: And why should I care? You made me get up at 8 in the morning! :(
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:06 AM: Eight o'clock isn't that early, Rima-chan, some people get up at 5:15 AM!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:06 AM: You mean evil cross-dressing freaks like you and the author!
Lychee547 at 8:06 AM: I don't cross-dress!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:07 AM: You've worn boy clothes before, so therefore you are a cross-dresser.
Lychee547 at 8:07 AM: Can we please get back to my rant?
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:07 AM: And why did you want us to come up with weird user names? Everyone already knows who we are.
Lychee547 at 8:07 AM: This is a parody, so I'm trying to be cute!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:08 AM: What do parodies have to do with being cute?
Bala-Balance145 at 8:12 AM: Hello? Anyone here?
Bala-Balance145 at 8:14 AM: If you don't show up I'm logging off!
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:14 AM: You can't log off, she'll just stop you right before you do.
Bala-Balance145 at 8:14 AM: How do you know?
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:14 AM: I tried. Then I got a phone call from Lychee-chan. Then the phone went dead so I assumed that she broke it by yelling into it too loudly.
Bala-Balance145 at 8:14 AM: ...
What's taking her so long?
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:15 AM: I'm not sure. She's was probably typing a rant and started banging on her keyboard, causing it to break, and she's probably trying to fix the keyboard right now.
Bala-Balance145 at 8:15 AM: ...
Bala-Balance145 at 8:15 AM: You know what, talking to you makes me feel sick. I think I'll Just wait for the super-slow author to finish up.
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:15 AM: Okay then :)
Bala-Balance145 at 8:15 AM: That stupid smiley makes me feel even sicker. Stop typing.
Bala-Balance145 at 8:23 AM: Don't call me either. How do you even know my phone number you stalker?
Lychee547 at 8:25 AM: You know how some people write their stories like this?
Author: hi minna! hope ur looking forward to the next chapter! ;)
[favorite character]: Wait! you forgot to do something!
Author: what did I forget, even though I know exactly what I forgot but I'm going to pretend I don't for the sake of bad humor and disgusting cuteness?
[favorite character]: you know... the message!
Author: what message, even though we all know which one?
[favorite character]: it starts with a d...i think, even though i know exactly what its called but im not saying it just so i can stretch out this super-long and boring segment even more
Author: Doom, even though i know that its clearly not it?
[favorite character]: no...
Author: door, even though i know its wrong?
[favorite character]: no (even though i know that you know that i know that you know its wrong)...
Author: barf, even though i know it starts with the wrong letter?
[favorite character]: that doesnt even start with a d, which i know you already knew!
Author: I know/knew! is it the disclaimer, but theres really no point in asking since we already know?
[favorite character]: yes!thats it!
Author: but isn't that your job?
[favorite character]:it is? then the author does not own anything! enjoy, but you probably wont!
Rima: OMG! I JUST REALIZED I LIKE NAGIHIKO! I'M GOING TO CONFESS TO HIM IN THE PARK WHERE I KNOW HE'LL MAGICALLY SHOW UP EVEN THOUGH WERE BOTH SUPPOSED TO BE IN SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!ITS ALMOST LIKE THIS WAS ARRANGED BY A REALLY DUMB FANFIC AUTHOR WHO THINKS ITS PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR TWO KIDS WHO SKIP SCHOOL TO END UP IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME!
Nagihko: im going to skip school today and go to the park instead even though im a straight a student because i think rima is going to skip school and tell me something really important in the park which should be highly unnatural but since half of the laws of physics and the world were bent in the making of this badfic, im going to do it anyways!
Author: dun,Dun,DUN!
[favorite character]: how could you be so cruel and leave us-the poor readers with a CLIFFIE!
Author: I guess you'll find out what happens even though you probably already know in the next chapter!
[favorite character]: i hope you update soon, because the readers are probably DYING to find out what happens even though theyre probably not, but im going tto say that anyways to sound dramatic!
Author: Oh, and i wont update until i get a hundred reviews, but i know i probably wont get that many!
[favorite character]: bye-bee! :)
Bala-Balance145 at 8:28 AM: Take out the Lucky Star reference. NOW. They are a disgrace to comedy.
Lychee547 at 8:28 AM: But I like Lucky Star!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:28 AM: Fine. But take out the part where it infers that I have a crush on HIM!
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:29 AM: But isn't it true, Rima-chan? ;)
Bala-Balance145 at 8:29 AM: ...shameless flirt ("It's Rhythm's fault!" doesn't make a good excuse)
Lychee547 at 8:29 AM: Could we please get back to the chatroom format bashing? Plus, I'm also too lazy to change the category from Humor/Parody to Romance/Parody
Bala-Balance145 at 8:29 AM: Where's the humor in that! You destroyed the original gag! I SHALL NOT FORGIVE YOU!
Fujisaki_N64 at 8:30 AM: ^_^; Hey, Lychee-san, what's the point in having us use chat room format when you could have just typed that and then ranted for a few minutes?
Lychee547 at 8:31 AM: ...
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE I TYPED ALL OF THAT! IF MY PHONE WASN'T BROKEN I WOULD BE YELLING AT YOU RIGHT NOW!
Bala-Balance145 at 8:31 AM: You could let us drop the stupid usernames and the time and go ahead and do the rant segment here.
Lychee: Great idea! I never thought of that!
Rima: Aren't Mary-Sues supposed to be smart?
Lychee: I am smart! I just have no common sense! Moving on, go to any other guide and they'll probably have some chapter about how EXTREMELY ANNOYING SHORT CHAPTER ARE! *breaks shift key and 1 key*1111 :( (the other shift key and the other one still work ! ^_^)
Nagihiko: Weren't you going to say something about talk shows?
Lychee: Oh yeah! I remember now! IF YOU WANT TO USE CHAT FORMAT AND MAKE THE CHARACTERS EXTREMELY OOC WHILE ATTEMPTING TO BE FUNNY, GO DO A TALKSHOW! (No offense to people who are writing talk shows. Some can be good.)
Rima: Around 10% of the things you have curently said (yelled) were in all caps.
Nagihiko: Not exactly 10%, maybe more like 6.7% or something?
Rima: Aren't you breaking your "no chat format" rule?
Lychee: How many times do I have to tell you- this is a parody. I'm making fun of chat format! Besides, this is a chat room! The only exception!
Rima: But it's still stupid. Clicking the boldface button and typing a colon (:) and pressing the boldface button then clicking the spot where you left off takes about as long as typing some quotation marks ("") and said or whatever.
Lychee: I know it's stupid! That's why I made this chapter in the first place!
Rima: This seems like a good time to move onto the next subject. The faster we get done, the sooner I get to log off! :)
Lychee: *sigh* Well, anyways, short chapters prove that you're just plain lazy or you don't have enough motivation to type more than a paragraph. Bye Rima-chan!
Lychee: WAIT! FUJISAKI-YOU'VE BARELY SAID ANYTHING! There. I deleted the X on your window as well as the off switch. :D
Rima: Enjoy the last 5 minutes of your life with the evil author, Fujisaki! ^_^ I'm leaving!
Rima has logged out
Lychee: Hmm... what's your opinion on smiley thingies? ^_^ (say the wrong thing and I'll have a whole entire chapter dedicated to torturing you and maybe something else...:D)
Nagihko: They're unnecessary and stupid except when in a chat room (?)
Lychee: Correct! Seriously, how are you supposed to say ^_^? Symbol, underscore ,symbol?
Nagihiko: So...can I leave now?
Lychee: No. Short chapters and then you can go. How long do you think a chapter has to be to be considered short?
Nagihiko: Not long enough to scroll down unless it's a one-shot (?)
Lychee: Correct (desu!) You can leave now...*sniff* DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO THINK OF A CHAPTER SUMMARY ALL BY MYSELF! I'M TOO LAZY! *clingy glomping fangirl mode*
Nagihiko: Right...I think I'll leave now...
Nagihiko has logged out
Rima has logged in
Rima: Why didn't you kill him? :(
Lychee: He's too nice! Unlike you.
Rima: ...
Rima has logged out
Lychee: It feels so empty without someone to yell at... I guess I'll leave.
Lychee has logged out
Chapter Summary: This isn't some poorly made RP forum. Pack up your chat format "stories," short paragraphs, and those annoying smileys and leave. Or go to a chat room. Or write a story that takes place in a chat room. The point is, we don't want that kind of stuff here.