You know how sometimes when a person is being stared at by a lot of people they just suddenly start sweating for no apparent reason? That was exactly what was happening to me. If you're laughing at me while making the cuckoo sign, try not being nervous while a twelve year old the size of a 3rd grader stares at you in chibi mode when you're trying to think of a lesson in less than one minute( even though middle school students shouldn't have to teach a class) because your conscience was nagging you to update your fanfic for the past day! Now that you understand my situation here, let's move on with the story.

"Umm, today's lesson will be on...today's lesson will be on...it will be on...IKUTO!" Because of how lazy I am, I'll skip the part where I describe everyone's reactions.

Rima raised her hand and, of course, insulted me. "Randomly shouting somebody's name after doing eenie-meenie-minie-moe doesn't make a good substitute for those prompt dice you find at teacher stores," Rima said while chaos ensued in the background. It might be pretty funny to the people not being insulted. Of course, I got mad and started shouting like some crazy psycho.

"EVERYBODY BE QUIET AND WRITE A REPORT ON IKUTO RIGHT NOW!" Did I mention I love being evil? It's one of the best things about being a teacher. ''Oh, and it's also due in ten minutes! Have fun!"

"Are you just trying to keep us occupied while you think of a decent lesson?"

"BE QUIET AND WRITE YOUR REPORT!"

[Ten minutes later...]

"Anyone want to read theirs out loud?"

"ME!" Yaya said/yelled, and she started reading super fast even though I clearly DIDN'T WANT HER TO. "Ikuto-Tsukiyomi-was-born-on-December-first-and-is-currently-seventeen-years-old-He-weighs-sixty-four-kilograms-or-one-hundred-forty-pounds-if-you-use-the-US-customary-system-of-measurement-and-is-five-foot-eleven-or-one-hundred-eighty-centimeters-tall-His-blood-type-is-AB-and-hes-a-Sagittarius-which-is-totally-compatible-with-Libra-which-is-Amu's-sign-and-he-goes-to-Seiyo-High-even-though-he-lives-at-Some-Random-Place-Street-in-Some-City-which-is-really-far-away-from-the-school-but-hes-away-looking-for-his-dad-right-now!"

"That was a really, um, detailed report, but I need to ask you HOW IN THIS MESSED-UP NUT-JOB INFESTED WORLD DID YOU THINK OF ALL THAT IN TEN MINUTES AND WRITE IT DOWN! YOU'VE ONLY MET HIM LIKE, wait, YOU HAVEN'T MET HIM EVEN ONCE!"

"I dunno! I just knew all that because I apparently met him in all of these fics!" She unrolled a looooong piece of paper that appeared out of nowhere.

After reading the list for a few seconds, I decided to get a calm person who has some common sense to read their report. Who also has a sense of humor, of course. In other words, Rima.

"Mashiro-san, please read your report out loud to the class," I read off the script.
(Teachers usually call their students by their last names, but since Lychee-chan isn't a real actual teacher, she uses their first names when she's thinking, but uses the last names when she's speaking.)

"Do I have to?"

"YES!"

"Ikuto has blue hair.
Ikuto doesn't run around screaming like a little girl.
Ikuto works for Easter.
Ikuto doesn't show his emotions.
Ikuto doesn't whine to his therapist about every little problem, unlike Hotori-kun and Crossdresser.
Ikuto has a sense of humor, unlike Hotori-kun and Crossdresser.
Ikuto looks like a guy, unlike Hotori-kun and Crossdresser.
Ikuto doesn't prance around like a gay retard, unlike Hotori-kun and Crossdresser.
Ikuto isn't boring, unlike Hotori-kun and Crossdresser.
Ikuto isn't-"

"WE GET THE IDEA! In other words, YOU JUST DON'T LIKE FUJISAKI AND HOTORI!"

"Exactly. I hate both of them."

"Rima-chan, one of the humor-less boring gay retards is very offended," Nagihiko said. If I wasn't busy being annoyed while attempting to make the little red anger symbol pop up, I would have laughed.

"It was supposed to be offensive," Rima said while glaring at him.

"Don't people ever tell you to be nice to others, Rima-chan?"

"Yes, but I don't feel like being nice to you."

"Have you ever heard the saying listen to your elders?"

"You're in the same grade I'm in."

"Really? I thought you were a third grader!"

"..." Right now, Rima was glaring at Nagihiko, like always, Nagihiko was grinning like an idiot, Yaya was eating candy which she somehow managed to sneak in, Tadase was sulking and complaining to his invisible therapist or something, Amu was still blushing, Kairi was paying attention, like always, and the rest just looked bored. Time for me to say something dumb and embarrass myself!

"I know! Let's get Tsukiyomi-san to read his report out loud!" I mentally facepalmed myself for saying the dumbest thing possible.

"Sure, let's get this over with:
Yo. My name is Ikuto Tsukiyomi. The End."

"THAT'S ALL YOU WROTE!"

"Yeah."

"THAT'S IT! I QUIT THIS STUPID JOB! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY SANITY AT THIS RATE!"

"You were sane before? A person as dumb as Crossdresser could have figured out you had mental problems."

"I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW!" I left and slammed the classroom door for good measure.

This is going to be the last time I EVER write a chapter with all of the characters in it.

Anyways, this chapter is about Ikuto's personality and his friends, WHICH DO NOT INCLUDE ANY OF THE GUARDIANS OTHER THAN AMU AND TADASE/TADAGAY! In most of the fics I've read which include Ikuto, ALL OF THE GUARDIANS KNOW HIM! YOU CAN'T BECOME FRIENDS WITH SOMEBODY IF ALL YOU DO IS ASSAULT THEM WITH BOWLING PINS OR DUCKS OR ATTEMPT TO SLICE THEM TO BITS WITH SOME SHARP OBJECT OF SOME SORT!
Mental Checklist:
Angry Shouting: Check
Tadagay Bashing: Check
Failed Attempt at Comedy: Check
Rant on Ikuto's Friends: Check
Which means I'm almost done with the chapter! Here's a list on the most common versions of OOC Ikuto...

Versions of OOC Ikuto

1. Spaz Ikuto- Where Ikuto will raise his voice and start shouting in disbelief while waving his arms like a maniac.

2. Neko Ikuto- Where Ikuto starts worshipping catnip and centers his life around yarn, fish, and hunting mice.

Ikuto- WARNING: VERY SCARY. DO NOT READ IF YOU GET SCARED EASILY. Where Ikuto *gulp* does nice things for people and *strained voice* smiles- normally- for- no- apparent- reason. *seizure*

4. Playboy Ikuto- Where Ikuto flirts with every girl he sees.

5. Official Fanfiction Ikuto- Everyone seems to have forgotten that episode where Utau told Amu that Ikuto only acts like a perverted jerk around Amu. Pretty much every fanfic Ikuto acts like that all the time even though Utau said something which nobody listened to. Listen to tsunderes and yanderes people! They can get mad and glare you to death or murder you with bricks! So listen to Utau!

6. Ikuto Tadase Hybrid- Where Ikuto prances around like a gay retard or complains to his invisible therapist about every little problem he has and cries every other minute because of some stupid thing. (Exaggerated)

Those are just some of the main ones. I've seen some others which- *shudders* should be locked away to be forgotten...so scary...

It's fine if Ikuto is a little OOC and has a bit of these traits, but a lot of authors go overboard.

A Note from Lychee-chan:
Next up is chara abuse, and you might want to skim through your fanfics to make sure the charas didn't magically disappear for no apparent reason. I'm also going to have a contest at chapter 10, maybe(?), so study your grammar rules! Oh, and if you're thinking something like this chapter sucks, I don't blame you. I've had writer's block, stage fright, writer's cramp, artist's block, amnesia, two tons of stress, and the Barney song was also stuck in my head, which is probably why I had all of those problems in the first place. (Plus, the other day, I was watching China's Got Talent, and this little 7-year-old girl who had a father complex or something got a FREAKING 57/70 SOMETHING VOTES! AND HER SINGING SUCKED! AND ALL SHE DID WAS JUMP A FEW TIMES AND KICK HER LEGS UP IN THE AIR! THEN THESE TWO PEOPLE WHO DID THIS SUPER-AWESOME DANCE ROUTINE AND THEY WERE ALSO HANGING FROM A PIECE OF CLOTH ONLY GOT LIKE 34! HOW MESSED-UP IS THAT!) Ok, that was a really bad excuse, but just know that is was very hard for me to stop being a lazy procrastinator and type up this chapter. Also, thank you to all of the people who have reviewed, alerted, or added this story to their favorites! It means so much to me...*sniff* ARRRRIIIIIGAAAATOOO! *sniff* I'm so happy *cry* YOU ALL GET A THOUSAND FREE RUN-AWAY-FROM-BRICK-PASSES! *sniff*

Chapter Summary: Amuto fangirls have changed Ikuto to...to that THING who knows all of the guardians and acts like a pervert 24/7.