Author's note: Hi!! This chapter took me a little longer than I expected, but I wanted to make sure I wrote it the best I could, putting only my most ingenious ideas into it and not just the first thing that crossed my mind. Even though, I'm not happy with the result, but then again, am I ever? I want to thank those who reviewed my story and /or added it as a favourite or story alert. It's really great to know there's more people interested in this particular couple as I am. I'm planning on making a web site on them next year, with all the pictures involving their romance from Uncanny X-Men #1 until today, but as you all know… it's going to take a LONG time for me to find them among the chaotic mess my comic books are =P Just be patient!!
Oh, on a more interesting short-term note, you'll be seeing more of the 'competence' on the next chapters, but don't frighten, I don't intend to make this a Jean x Logan fic (over my dead body… XD). I just thought that since I am figuratively painting this funny portrait of Jean and Scott's daily life (with all the missions and mishaps that includes). Or at least the part of it where they try to fix the relationship after what the Phoenix has done to them… well… If you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who had an annoying suitor orbiting them you'll know what I mean. Sometimes third parties can't be avoided as a part of the equation, if only for the sake of the things their presence makes you think, say and do. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. See ya on #14!!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, names, etc; I don't even own the clothes I'm wearing, OK? What else can I say? It was a rough year... but 2008 is promisingly good so far.
The Phoenix's Amend
A mutant swapped Scott and Jean's powers and they've decided to rescue the young mutant the Professor asked them to retrieve the old fashioned way... with tactical vests and guns. Will they be able to find the poor mutant girl without getting themselves killed in the process??
Would you choose pride or love?
The danger room was definitely different that day and Scott didn't even need to get inside to notice the strange atmosphere. As he entered the changing room to get ready for whatever Jean had in storage for him, he found his locker open and, as he approached it, he saw a tactical vest resting on top of his spandex suits. A tazer gun along with a can of pepper spray sat next to it, completing the unusual pile. "She's gotta be kiddin" he thought with an incredulous frown on his face, before he took of his t-shirt. The next second, a presence on the door frame he involuntarily picked up with his new acquired mental abilities, startled him. It was Jean. He didn't need to turn around to know it, but he did it anyway, out of habit. For some reason, Jean confidently entering that room made him uncomfortable. The sign on the door read 'Men' so, technically, she was trespassing, despite the fact he was still dressed from the waist down and there was nobody else in there to witness her transgression.
Jean couldn't help giggling at Scott's face, equally bothered and embarrassed. Of all the men that lived in the mansion, she was probably looking at the only one who had issues with a beautiful woman seeing him half naked. That was one of the thousand little things that made her Scott special, she thought smiling at him warmly for a moment.
"How do you like my idea?" She asked casually as she approached him slowly, the way one would do not to scare a wild deer. "You're insane." He informed seriously as he absently pulled his X-men suit from under the vest. "I thought you'd say so." Jean replied. "But since you've already agreed to go along with it…" She shrugged with a playful little smile on her lips as she became aware of the fact he had stopped undressing after noticing her standing behind him. She couldn't help teasing poor Cyclops whenever her ex-husband became shy around her, even if a part of her felt guilty for doing so. Seeing his blushing face made it definitely worth it. Man, did she miss her telepathy.
After deciding to give Scott a break, Jean left the room to get herself ready for the training session, stopping by the door for a moment on her way out. "Wait for me in the danger room, I'll get the simulation ready and meet you there." She promised looking way too comfortable playing the leading role for him to be able to relax.
When Scott finally made it to the danger room with his new equipment on, Jean was already there, a shooting practice simulation running. He saw her slender figure leaning on a large counter to aim at the bull's-eyes. It was so strange to see her holding a gun in her delicate hands, for a moment there he didn't believe his own eyes. She looked so not-like-her with the enormous tactical vest she was wearing, he almost didn't recognize her. Then he saw a mass of red hair coming out of the huge headset she had on and he knew it was definitely his Jean. Otherwise, he would have thought there was some kind of S.W.A.T. woman practicing there for some strange reason. Cyclops blushed deeply at the image, which he couldn't help finding too alluring to even move. He just stood there watching her shoot.
As she ran out of ammo, Jean removed the headset and turned around to see whether Scott had arrived yet or not, only to find him looking at her too stunned to do anything but stare. He tried to say something but ended up closing his mouth again a moment later, as the words wouldn't come out, making him turn a little redder than before. Her dark red shades made her look like some kind of hot but bizarre fantasy where she was wearing his glasses.
"Before you tell me I'll get us both killed…" She hurried to talk before he could protest, walking to him with the huge headset in her hand, she gave him some time to recover from her look, so he was as calm as usual when she got to his side. "Let me tell you most people seldom aim for the head or the arms when shooting at the chest or the stomach is the most logical choice. As well as the head, which is easy to miss, those are the most lethal targets, so I'm certain it wouldn't be as risky as it seems on the first look." She explained so confidently he didn't frown this time. Apparently, he was seriously thinking about her words as far as Jean could see on his serious face.
"I know you're right. This is a great call given our current situation." He admitted looking at her seriously, with that small frown he always showed when trying to apologize for something. "And I'm proud of you, Jean. Honesty." He said softly placing his hand on her forearm for a moment. "Had I not panicked as I did, I would have done the same call…" That was something he wouldn't admit to anyone but her and she smiled gently at those words, too conscious of the effort he surely had made to mouth them. "Hum… ok. Let me see if I got this right. You've been saying I'll get us both killed and now I'm being congratulated for the exact same proposition… Say, what drug are you on?" She asked next, jokingly trying to protect his pride by not giving his words too much importance. To her surprise, he remained serious, as if willing to talk about it.
"I'm serious." He insisted as she continued to look at him, completely puzzled, not knowing where he was going with that speech. "It's only…" He sighed, not finding the strength to admit his defeat yet so, he took another second before trying again. She waited at him patiently, silently smiling at him to give him the confidence he always lacked whenever he tried to be serious about a delicate matter. "I'm just… I'm finally getting used to the idea of having you back, having this chance to actually get everything we've ever wanted…" He began to explain. "The mere thought of…" He needn't finish that sentence for her to completely understand what he meant. She loved him so much when he worried! It made her want to calm him down and cast his worries away, but that was something she never quite got the hand of. "Jean, if anything happened to you on this mission because of a decision I made… I would never forgive myself. That is why I couldn't… you know." "So, it's ok if I die because of a choice I made?" She couldn't help thinking of the irony, but unfortunately for her, he caught her thought.
"You know it wouldn't!" He replied at once, feeling a little tingle of resentment towards her for even thinking that. "It never is!" Scott finally crossed the line after which he stopped being shy and would just say whatever was on his mind out of anger, frustration or desperation, depending on the case. In that moment, it was just too hard to tell. "Every time you died, a part of me died with you, Jean! One might think I should have grown accustomed to the whole process by now, but I haven't, you know!?" He couldn't help but being ironical when talking about the subject. It was the easiest way to take distance from the whole problem so he could talk about it with some dignity. For her, it only meant pain. Him causing her pain, torturing her with those words that referred to something she had been unable to stop or even modify all along, only allowed to witness it and suffer. She had no way to know he was just venting without her telepathy. "Every time you came back I thought things would be different at last, and I really hoped they would, but they just weren't. Whenever everything seemed like settling down there it came again to take you away from me. Then you appear again somehow and tell me everything will be all right and I believe you like a fool, only to end up burying you for the zillionth time…" Since Scott had begun to talk uncontrollably, Jean felt more and more guilty about all the things he was complaining about, warm tears suddenly falling down her fair cheeks.
"Do you think I ever wanted that for us? Or to have anything to do with the Phoenix? Or for you to have to go through all you did? That's why I told you to move on, Scott! There's nothing I can do about it except feeling sorry for you and terribly guilty inside, without being able to stop the agony! Nor yours not mine…" She defended herself, reproaching him for accusing her of all those things out of the blue. "Why did you even bring that up in the first place, Scott? We were having a nice time… We've had this conversation a thousand times already! It's proved it doesn't take us anywhere…" "Anywhere we want to be, at least" She thought. She was so upset she didn't even realize she was crying. "I didn't mean to bring this up, Jean. I'm sorry." He apologized at once, truly regretting taking the conversation down that path in the first place. He tried to think of a way to clean up the mess, but his head had begun to ache filled with her pain and words had never been his strong point to begin with. "I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. Didn't intend to get this reproachful either. I just wanted you to understand why I wasn't all too keen about your plan and the whole conversation got completely out of control at some point…" He looked down at the floor. With that repented tone of voice and a clear, glassless view of his handsome eyes that showed nothing but guilt, she couldn't remain mad at him for too long. Especially when she knew him so well. She didn't need telepathy to understand the meaning behind the clumsy nervous words her ex husband was saying.
"I understand." She said softly, understanding as always, hiding her pain deep inside to be able to show him a faint smile. He smiled back, still ashamed of his own behaviour. "I've been looking so hard for a sign that this time nothing will come between us…" He began excusing himself again, but she made him stop talking by gently placing two fingers on his lips. Her eyes flashed with fear for a moment as she remembered that dream, but a second later it wasn't there anymore and Scott didn't see it under the dark shades she was wearing. "We're here, together, several years younger. Isn't that enough of a sign?" She asked him, desperately trying to convince herself. Scott smiled and took a step closer, looking into her eyes. "You're right. It was foolish of me to let my fears ruin the moment." He confessed, but she hurried to interrupt him before he fell into a self-pity circle from which it was nearly impossible to take him out without a miracle. "I think I know just how to recreate the mood…" Jean suggested with a playful grin, once again making an enormous effort to burry her pain away from him. She knew that if none of them took the first step into peace and let the grudge go, they could keep on arguing forever. Of course everything would have been much easier if it weren't always her, but… Hey! If that was the only way to save the relationship, she was more than glad to swallow her tears and sadness. She knew they'd both be thankful for it in the long run.
"Just think about whatever made you blush so hard when you walked in and kiss me." She whispered getting closer to him and making him blush instantaneously. Having been caught staring at her like that was embarrassing, but having Jean talking about it was even worse. She giggled. "That's what I meant." Jean said as she drew him closer by putting her arms around his neck. Deep inside, she still felt angry for having being accused once again of something she hadn't been able to help doing, especially since she had already apologized about it several times, but she kept on reminding herself she had put him through enough pain already. It was time she began compensating him for all the pain, even if it meant stepping over her pride and being nice to him after the argument. After all, hadn't she cried many times wishing for a chance to go back to the old times, even the bad old times when they quarrelled and to make things right? Didn't she promised that, given the opportunity, she wouldn't waste precious time arguing if there was something she could do to turn the situation around and make him smile? Now it was her chance to make him happy and she wasn't going to ruin it for anything in the world. With that thought in her mind she hugged him close, kissing him as if the world would end any second.
Logan hit the control panel with an angry fist up at the control cabin of the danger room and the simulation's hologram zapped for a moment, bringing them back to the real world. "We better get on with the training session." Jean said as she caught Logan's figure leaving the visible part of the control room. Scott followed her gaze, but his competitor was gone by then. "There probably must be other people wanting to use this room." She added as innocently as she could. As much as she loved Scott, she also cared about her friends and tried not to hurt any of them when it depended on her.