Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, or any of its characters :) unfortunately.

Conscientious

I can't believe we watched all season 1 of True Blood. When Cat came I was in season 4, but I decided to put season 1 or else she would not understand half of what was going on. When she came it was barely afternoon, and now it's almost twelve in the morning. After an episode or two we laid on my bed. I started falling asleep after the 7th episode, but even though Cat was terrified and covered her eyes for all the sex scenes, she was alert in every episode. I don't know exactly know in which episode i fell asleep, but when i woke up the season had ended.

I felt my shoulder warm, and turned my head to see Cat cuddling me. I was facing up, and Cat was to her side with her head on my shoulder, and her arm on my torso. I apparently had also cuddled to her, since my arm was under her neck, and was placed on her waist. I just stood still looking at her. Wondering if she was really asleep or just pretending, because oh how Cat loved to get me in mushy situations. This is 'mushy' alright.

I wont say it aloud, but she looks so cute. No, adorable. She has the tiniest smile on her face, her eyelashes are long, her tiny hands over me, and she smells delicious. Like strawberries and cherries. I must have unconsiously put my head on top of hers, taking in her scent, because i don't remember before I get a grip, and wake her up.

I shake her lighty. "Cat wake up." She grunts, and angrily shoves herself closer to me.

"Cat get up!" I struggle to get her off of me, but I do. She then opens her eyes, and says in a sleepy voice, "What you do that for?"

"Cat you need to go home." I say simply.

"But my parents aren't home."

"Caaaaat. Stop bugging and go home." Damn she made me whine!

"What's that supposed to mean?" She actually says it seriously. Without that overly hurt tone she usually says her catch phrase with.

"That I'm tired, and I need some alone time." I land down hard on my bed, with my hands on my face.

"But I don't like being home alone." She says in a childish way. Then shily she adds, "I'm scared."

"Are your parents only gone for today?" I still have my hands over my face so I cant see, but I feel her on my belly. I take my hands off to see her laying her head on my belly, and looking at me with pleading puppy eyes.

"Yesh." She pouts.

Now that pisses me off. Not the pouts, but the 'yesh'. What the fuck is that? Ugh! 'Relax Jade, this is Cat. You know she gets hurt easily so just RELAX! Oh no...it's not working..

"Don't YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" Damn it! I couldn't control it.

She gets up immediately. Scared? No. Hurt is more like it. Her eyes are watering, about to cry, and she looks for her shoes hurridly. Now i feel like I've kicked a newborn puppy with steel toe combat boots, and while it was in the air I hit it with a wooden bat.

She finds her shoes, and sits down quickly to put her converse on. She hurries out my bedroom door. As she reaches the door I call her, "Cat."

She shrieks at the sound, and hurries even more. I should go after her, but I'm not good at that emotional crap. So fuck it. She'll get over it soon anyways. I mean it's Cat. She is the overly optimistic, overly sweet, extremely forgetful Cat. By Monday she'll be happy and babbling again.

It's Monday, and that means school, which means I'll see Cat today. I hope she's here, since the Beck situation is pretty awkward. Where there's Beck, there's Vega, which means there'll be Andre, and Robbie is just wherever, but not with me (not that I'd want him). So I really hope I see Cat today, so she can keep me company, because I really don't want to sit with the rest. I know I shouldn't care, because well I give the impression I don't care what people think, and I don't. But they were my friends, well I mean only Beck and Andre. I could give a shit less about balls-in-face-call-'em-cheekbones Tori Vega, and Robbie is too weird.

The day goes on, and it's lunch time. I haven't seen Cat all day. I guess I'll just sit by myself. Whatever. I don't care! I get my sandwich, and start heading to an empty table I see. I'm passing by when Beck says, "You can sit here you know."

"I don't want to."

"Oh common Jade. We're all cool. Right guys?" He looks around at everyone.

"Yeah. Man I don't have anything against nobody." Andre says.

I take a seat, and there's an empty space next to me. This is where Cat should be seated. "Fine. Where's Cat by the way? Have any of you seen her?"

The annoying voice of Vega hits me. "I saw her. Weird that she isn't here huh?"

"Anyone else?" I ask clearly irritated.

Vega makes a face. That stupid fucking face where she crouches her face. She looks so stupid. "Meeean."

"I don't like you." I grab my hair. God I don't know why I hate this girl so much. I mean yes there are several reasons why, but not one that you could say gives me 'justification'. Who gives a fuck about that anyways.

"Well, yeah I saw her too. She looked kinda upset." Andre says.

"Jade did it. Whatever it is. She's evil." Rex says in a laughy tone.

Oh he's not gonna be laughing anymore. I grab him from Robbie, and take his head off. Then I throw it in the trash.

"Yup. I'm evil." I smirk. "Where and when did you see her Andre?"

"I saw her on my way here. She was by the lockers. I just said hi and she said hi back, but she seemed upset."

I could go looking for her, but I'll just see her in Sikowitz. So, I decide to finish my sandwich. As I'm eating it I notice Beck's arm around Tori, while she giggles at something he says. She sickens me. But I don't care about them, and I'm not stupid I know Beck still loves me. I know he's just trying to get me jealous, and what better way than by going out with the girl I hate the most. What he doesn't know, (or maybe he does, and is just in denial) is that I am not jealous. I don't care, and I most definately don't love him. Oh well, let the kid play.

I arrive at my last class of the day. Sikowitz. I take a seat, and look around for Cat, but she's not here. What if she's still upset? I mean I definitely know she's here today, but I feel she's avoiding me. I know she's avoiding me. Fuck. This has never happened to me before. I mean I have been mean to her many times. So, what was different Saturday? Well I did yell at her. She was just being sweet with me. But common 'yesh' is just plain retarded. She not a baby.

Why would she get so upset? What's the difference between this time, and the many more times before? If she doesn't show up, or she does but she's still upset, then that would mean...I would have to apologize. I don't apologize. I'm mean and people know that. Whether they get hurt or not doesn't matter. They know I'm mean. They either get over it or don't. Either way I don't care, but this is Cat. She's not just anyone. She's been my friend for a long time. Even though I act like she annoys me, I actually enjoy her company.

I was for so long babbling in my head, I didn't notice Cat come in. When I finally snap out of it I see her sitting at the back of class next to Tori, who's sitting next to Beck. That's where I used to sit. I look at her, and she turns to see me, but quickly turns away. Shit. This is going to need an apology.

Wait, what am I saying? I don't apologize. She needs to get over it. It was her fault anyway. No. I'm going to apologize. Damn it. Stupid conscience. It's making me do things I once-in-a-decade do.