A/N: ready for the reunion? First let's talk about some things for a bit.
First of all:
Patrice and Freddie - She is a very complicated and damaged girl, but she's not a bad person. She acts the way she acts for a reason (I'll explain everything later) but not with Freddie. He is different from every other guy she ever met, he rejected her because he was in love with his girlfriend, and he loved her enough to don't want anybody else. She never experienced that. Patrice never had true friends, not the ones who really cared about her and she never felt comfortable enough to open up about her issues with anyone. That night when she got stuck in the elevator with Freddie, they talked, and she felt like she could tell him her story, and he wouldn't judge her. He has the ability to see beyond the appearances and that's why she feels comfortable with him. He thinks she is like a wounded animal that just need help, and he sees beyond everything. She reminds him of Sam in some aspects, they're both insecure, always thinking less of themselves and never think they deserve anything. I personally like her character, and I think she's going to stick around for a very long time.
Secondly:
Carly - she was wrong and she'll apologize, but when she saw Pete and Sam, she was already pissed and at that point she was just seeing red. But remember, she didn't run to tell Freddie what happened because she didn't want him to think badly of Sam not until she knew what was really going on. She stormed out because she was mad, and she overreacted, but when time came she will be there ready to help Sam and Freddie get together.
Thirdly:
Pam - she doesn't know how to be a mother because she actually never tried. She's too caught up on her own pain, and she can't really see Sam and Freddie being together forever. Pam doesn't believe in love, because her heart was broken and she was left alone with two kids to raise, in other words, she's bitter, but she's trying to get better.
And last:
Sam - she's scared. Sam has many issues she has to work on just like Patrice but she can't do it on her own, however she's afraid to open up completely and get hurt. Sam had to watch Pam sleeping around all her life just to mend her broken heart and she doesn't want to turn out like her mother. She doesn't want to admit that she cares about Pam's opinion but she does and it's important to her, so if her own mother doesn't think she's good for Freddie, then maybe she isn't. Trust is one of the issues she will have to work on, learn how to open up and don't let people get into her head so very easily.
Freddie - he has daddy issues and abandonment issues as well. His father is a constant reminder of what feels like to be abandoned, to be rejected. Freddie spent a long time being rejected by Carly, and even though he wasn't really in love with her, he felt the need to keep pushing and maybe someday she would accept and love him. With Sam he felt loved for the first time, completely loved, he finally found someone who loved him for who he was and that made him want to do anything he could to try to keep her. He tried to be the perfect boyfriend because then she would have no reasons to leave. He's gotten more mature, but his heart was broken, so he needed to get that angst and anger off his chest. If perfection wasn't not good for her, then maybe if he had more flaws she would want him back, so here comes the alcohol and the ridiculous little show. He thought he had everything under control by acting like a perfect human being, but this doesn't happen on the real world, because no one is perfect.
Brad's POV
Good thing he doesn't snore, unlike Gibby, who sounds a lot like an angry bear. I borrowed Freddie laptop to find a cure for the massive hangover waiting for my friend when he wakes up. I came across some interesting sites and find some stuff that might help. Knowing that Freddie wouldn't be up until noon, I went to the market down the street and bought some Gatorade and orange juice. Mrs. Benson had eggs on her fridge and crackers somewhere around the kitchen.
I forgot how tired I was and came back to Freddie's apartment, putting the things in the fridge. He's going to need this pretty soon. I looked over to Gibby who was sleeping soundly, but not showing any sign of drunkenness, I guess he didn't get wasted last night. Man, this was ridiculous, I get that he's upset and shit, but this is too much. Last night's show was a bit too much. However, by the end of the night, while walking back home, he calmed down and even asked me to sleep on the couch.
I didn't get any sleep, trying to decide whether or not to tell Carly about all the commotion on the bar and all the way back home. But I knew from the beginning I was going to tell her anyway, there's no point keeping this from Carly. Around eleven, I finished cleaning the bathroom where Freddie threw up twice, not wanting to leave any evidence behind for Mrs. Benson to find, and made my way across the hall. I knocked on the door twice, and Carly greeted me in footie pajamas.
"Hey babe" I smiled weakly.
"Hey… you look awful honey" she caressed my cheek.
"We need to talk… no I need to tell you something" I walked in and fell on the couch "man I'm tired"
"Why? What do you wanna talk about?" she sat by my side.
"Freddie" I sighed, kicking my shoes off.
"What about him? What happened? Did he do something? What?" she freaked out "he did something bad?"
"No babe… well, yeah" her eyes went wide "I got a call from Gibby at one in the morning, asking me to go pick up Freddie on a bar"
"A bar?" she hollered.
"Yeah. He drank his ass off, danced on top of the counter and sang all the way here"
"Oh my God!" Carly covered her mouth.
"That's not everything. He called Sam and begged her to go back to him. It was awful and I had to spend the whole night cleaning his vomit and listening to his whines. I hate that he's like this Carls…"
"Brad, this is so bad! Where is he now?"
"Sleeping on the couch. Apparently his room smells like her and he refuses to go in there. I need to be there when he wakes up, to help him through hangover" I massaged my sore head "this sucks Carly"
"I know babe" she wrapped her arms around my neck"
"Yeah" I sighed "I'm so tired"
"Listen, let me take a shower and I'll help you with him okay?" I nodded "go, I'll meet you there in a few" she kissed me softly before slipping away from my arms.
"Kay" I put my shoes back on went back to Freddie's.
When I got into the apartment I smelled eggs. Gibby was up, making some breakfast and not wearing a shirt.
"Hey, are you hungry?" he asked over his shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm starving" I looked over Freddie, still asleep.
"I don't think he's going to wake up anytime soon" I stated.
"He's so fucked up, man. I never should've taken him there" he said guilty.
"Knowing Freddie like I do, he would've gone anyways, so it was better to have a friend watching his back" I sat on the coffee table, staring at my drunken best friend.
"Yeah I guess… still I feel pretty bad"
"Well, don't"
Ten minutes later Carly knocked on the door, but Freddie just kept sleeping. She sat on the couch, putting his head on her lap, giving me a pained look. I sighed, and she started to stroke his hair, just like the other morning, looking down at him sadly.
"I miss him. I miss them. Together. I miss Seddie" she mused "now everything is bad"
Freddie started to move and mumble incoherent sentences, before opening his eyes slowly. He looked at me, then at Carly, before frowning, with a pained expression on his face. Shit, it's too bright in here! I ran over and closed the curtains quickly.
"Fuck! My head hurt like a bastard" he brought his hand to his head "shit!"
"Well, you drank your ass off" I told him.
"Damn Brad, don't yell! UGH this hurts so badly!" he complained.
"I'm not… never mind, I'll just whisper"
"Freddie, what got into ya? I mean, going to a bar? Drinking your ass off? Come on!" Carly began.
"Listen Carls, I appreciate you trying to help and all but… can we not do this right now?" he sat up "I can't remember what happened"
"You drank a lot" Gibby said, leaning against the counter "danced on top of the counter, sang with an empty tequila bottle, threw up a lot, and sang all the way back here!"
"Oh chizz!" he rubbed the sides of his head.
"And there's something else you should know" he looked at me scared "you called Sam"
"No… what did I say?"
"A bunch of things, but they all involved you guys being back together" I told him.
"Shit! Shit! Shit! OW!" he rubbed his temples "man, this is bad… now she's just going to laugh on my face!"
"She won't" Carly said "Freddie, first things first" she put her hands on his shoulders "take a shower and brush your teeth"
"Then come back here, I have something for your hangover" I told him.
"Put on some pajamas, you're going to need all the sleep you can get" Gibby told him with a snicker.
"And this time on your bed" Carly gave him a stern look.
"Fine… I'll do that…" he sighed "thanks guys"
"Just go" I shoved him towards his room.
"I don't wanna go in there" he whispered to me.
"Too bad man, you have to. Stop being a puss and do it" I shoved him harder.
"Okay…"
I looked at Carly, then at Gibby. This needed to stop soon, there was no way I would let this go on anymore. This was ridiculous and he needed to snap out of that, right now.
Carly's POV
Freddie was getting some sleep, and so was Brad. My poor boyfriend is such a good friend; he spent the whole night wake taking care of Freddie, who was drunk out of his mind. I get why he's sad, but that doesn't give him the right to do that. I told Brad to get some sleep in my bedroom, while I tried to track Sam's stupid ass down. I tried before, to talk to her about this whole thing, but it didn't work, so now I'm going to give her a piece of my mind. I was holding up because I didn't want to hurt my best friend, but now I reached my breaking point. I also know I should be there for her, but I'm so mad she broke up with him for no good reason, and this thing with Pete, it's just suspicious.
UGH! I hate him with all of me, he's the responsible for all this suffering, and I can't believe Sam could do this. She claimed to love Freddie for years, but now she dumps him for skinny ass Pete? Come on! I was furious out of my mind when the bell rang, I hoped it was Sam. I swung the door open, reveling one very sad looking Pam Puckett.
"Pam? What are you doing here?" I asked; when she walked pass me into the apartment.
"I need to talk to you Carly. It's about Sam"
"If you're looking for her I don-" she raised her hand, making me shut up.
"This whole break up thing is my fault. I told Sam she wasn't good enough for the boy and she actually believed me. I told her a bunch of things that made her think less of herself" she confessed.
"What? Why? You're her mother; you're not supposed to put her down!" I hollered "what kind of parent are you?"
"I'm not the best kind okay!" she sat on the couch, throwing her bag on the floor "I thought that I was protecting her, I thought that she would go through the same things I did and I didn't want that. But what I failed to realize was, Sam's not me. She's better and she always is going to be. I don't know how to be a mother Carly, I never learn that, and after everything that happened in my life, especially with Sam's dad, I don't know… I just thought I was opening her eyes, doing her a favor. But watching her crying every night before bed is killing me. And after last night's phone call… I just…"
"What phone call?"
"Freddie called the house. He was so drunk he thought I was Sam and said all these things. I just hate to see her suffering, even more than I hate to admit I was wrong about this one. And I need your help to make her see, before she loses him for good" she sighed "will you help me?"
"Only because they're my two best friends and I can't see them hurting like that anymore…" I remembered something "but wait… so why is she with Pete already?"
"Pete? Who's Pete?"
"Her ex… they're like together now…I don't even know if they are..."
"No, they're not. I'm pretty sure she has no one, or else she wouldn't cry herself to sleep every night" she stated.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, I know that. I can hear her sobbing from the hallway. She only broke up with him because she thinks she's not good enough for him. She thinks she's doing him a favor"
"This is absurd! He's in pain, he's sad, he's broken!" I hollered "he loves her Pam, he doesn't think she's not good enough"
"Carly… just help me, let's do this for them"
"Sure" I sighed "I thought Sam was over that already"
"What do you mean?"
"She had this issue before, and Freddie reassured her how much he loved her. I guess that's why she lied to him when she broke up with him…"
"She lied"
"Yeah, she told him a bunch of lies, because she knew that if she told him the truth he would just reassure her all over again" I trailed off "I guess you fucked up her head pretty bad"
"Don't remind me. But how are we going to get her here? We need to talk to her, like… now"
"I have an idea… call her. Tell her something happened to me and she'll come running"
"Lie?" I nodded "I can do that" she pulled out her phone "it's ringing" Pam bit her lip with anticipation "Sammy… I know you don't wanna talk to me, just listen… I got a call from Carly's. Something bad happen, I guess you should go there and check it out… I don't know, Spencer was nervous, he told me something about a stairs… okay, go there kid. Bye"
"So?"
"Done. Let's wait for a bit"
"I'm so stupid" I confessed "I've been a terrible friend to her"
"You and me both kid, you and me both" Pam patted my shoulder.
Sam's POV
Oh my god! What happened? Is Carly hurt? Is Freddie hurt? No, please god, don't let it be him. Don't let it be him! I prayed the whole way to the Bushwell, my mind was on Freddie. If something happens to him I'll… be lost. There's no Sam without Freddie, and even though we're not together anymore, being able to see him, to know he's okay is already a lot to me. I loved him more than anything, and I just wanted us to be together forever, but unfortunately that wasn't happening. Still, I prayed for him to be alright.
Kicking the door open, I rushed into Carly's apartment, only to find my mother sitting on the couch, talking to my best friend. Oh no… something very bad happened.
"What happened? Is everyone okay? Is Freddie okay? Carly! Speak!" I hollered.
"Sam… listen, we have something to talk to you about" Carly said, standing up.
"WHAT?"
"Sammy… listen. I was wrong when I told you you're not good for Freddie. I was only thinking about myself, what I've been through. That has nothing to do with you" my mother started.
"What are you trying to say?"
"That this whole shit is stupid Sam!" Carly snapped "your reasons are stupid!"
"Carly you don't get!" I tried to argue.
"And never will, because it makes no sense!"
"Stop girls! Listen Sam, Carly's right. I was wrong. You're not me… you're so much better" she tried to touch me, but I stepped back.
"No. Just because you changed your mind doesn't mean I'm magically going to be good for him!"
"You're good for him you asshole!" Carly yelled "he loves you!"
"Is that why you called me here?" I was so mad; my face was probably red "to change my mind?"
"Yes!" they yelled.
"Well, too bad! Cause it isn't working!"
"Sam… do you remember that boyfriend I had… the one who kept calling" I knew it was pointless to argue so I just nodded "well, do you remember that I started to tape the phone calls?" I nodded irritated again "well, it just kept recording. It records every phone call"
"Is this getting somewhere?" I hollered.
"Yes!" she took a small CD off her purse "listen to this. Carly…?"
"Sure" Carly put the CD on the stereo.
There was a silence, then a wind noise before a familiar voice reached my ears. Oh, that voice… that always penetrates through my soul…
"Sam… Sammy please… don't do this to me. I love you. Don't break up with me. I love you more than anything and without I'm shit!"
"Freddie? Are you drunk?" I hear my mother ask.
Freddie? Drunk? Those two words don't go together. The dork never had a sip of beer in his life, how come he can be drunk?
"No… well… a little, but listen, that' not important" he hiccupped "what matters is that I'm so in love with you, please don't leave me because I'm not me without you baby. There's no Freddie without Sam. I don't know what I did wrong, but if you tell me I'll fix this chizz"
"Freddie…"
"No listen! Listen to me. When I fell in love with you I knew this was not going to be easy, but I also didn't know it would be this hard. But that doesn't matter because I rather die trying than give up on you Sam… I can't give up on you. I'll never give up… fuck Sam! Can't you see how much I love you? Tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it… because we can go through anything, as long as we're together… tell me what you want… I'll do it. Sammy… my little demon… I love you. So, so much. Please say something"
And then was silence again.
"What…?"
"He called last night, drunk out of his mind, and you know Sammy, drunken people tend to be honest to the bone. Baby, I realized something, this boy loves you. Like, really loves you. Your father never loved me and that's the difference between us. I misjudged him, and you, but only because I was trying to protect you from getting hurt. I guess I didn't do a very good job" she looked down sadly.
"Sam… Freddie is so in love with you, he would never think you're not good enough for him. And even if you don't get into a fancy college, did it ever occur to you that you could just go with him to Boston and get a job while he studied?" Carly, put her hand on my shoulder.
"I… I'm so confused… is he okay?"
"He's asleep now, but he was very bad. Sam…" Carly breathed "are you with Pete? Did you dump Freddie to stay with Pete?"
"What? Me and Pete? No, I'm not with Pete" I defended myself.
"I saw him in your house that day… he was hugging you. And all the little secrets…" she trailed off "did you cheat on Freddie?"
"No! Never!" I hollered in my defense "Carly… I'm not with Pete and I could never be. He's gay"
"What?" she asked, her jaw hitting the floor.
"That's what you heard. That was the secret I was keeping. Listen. The day before my anniversary with Freddie, I went to Marvin's bar to borrow some cash, I wanted to give the dork his nerdy thingy back. So after Marv gave me the money, I sat on the counter and started to chat with Paul, the bartender. Paul just graduated and wants to save some money before going to Julliard. Anyway, Paul asked me about my boyfriend, and then told me about his. I didn't know he was gay, until that day I didn't know Pete was either. So he asked me if I wanted to meet his bf, and I said yes. His shift was ending, and his bf would be waiting for him outside, in the backdoor. When I got there I saw Pete, and Paul introduced us. Pete freaked out; he didn't want anyone to know he was gay. His family is religious and stuff, and his grandma was really sick and that could kill her. He freaked out and Paul got upset, because he wasn't brave enough to tell his own family who he really was. Paul broke up with him. Since then, Pete is stalking me so I could keep his secret, but eventually we became friends. He's been giving me advices, and telling me to go back to Freddie"
"But…" she was shocked "I saw him… hugging you"
"Yeah, because he just got back with Paul. He convinced him to give him more time to tell his folks"
"Sam… Freddie thinks you broke up with him because of Pete"
"Why would he think that?"
"Because of the secrets, the phone calls" she sat back on the couch "why didn't you tell us?"
"It's not my secret to tell, really. Yesterday he told me I could tell you and Freddie…" I sighed.
"So now go tell Freddie that and get back together, so it can rain again!" my mother said.
"What?" me and Carly looked at her confused.
"I realized that this crazy weather began after you and Freddie broke up. It's been hot for a week now, and I don't think it's going to rain until you set things straight" she smirked "this is God's way to tell you that you're belong with that boy"
"I don't know… I'm confused. I need time to think about it"
"Oh Sam… just do it!" Carly said impatiently.
"I can't!" I growled "I need to think things through"
"Fine. I'm going to Maya's birthday party tonight; if you need some time to think, just hang around here. I don't think Freddie will be leaving his apartment, so you won't run into him"
"That's okay" I threw myself in the couch "I just want to be alone"
"I'm so sorry Sam. I was a terrible friend, I shouldn't jump to conclusion, I should've known better"
"It doesn't matter anymore okay?" I rubbed her arm "I'm not the best friend in the world too. What time is the party?"
"I'll be off by seven. Spencer hasn't been home in three days, so you can sleep in his room. Brad's upstairs sleeping in my room because he didn't get any sleep last night?"
"Why?" Pam smirked.
"He was too busy picking up Freddie in the bar and wiping his vomit off the floor!" she said angrily.
"Oh…" my mom grimaced "he's a good friend"
"I know…" Carly said "I'm going to get ready and wake up Brad… just get out of here before he sees you. He's pissed at you"
"Fine, whatever" I said before turning on my heels to walk away "thanks mom… for the talk" I said over my shoulder.
"I love you Sammy. And I'm sorry"
"It's okay"
But it wasn't, and I knew it. I still had a lot of thinking to do, but it was pretty much set in stone that I was an idiot. I kept replaying the phone call over and over again in Spencer's stereo sound. His drunken voice, so deep, digging into my brain, making my heart ache. I hated to hurt him; I never wanted to see sadness in his eyes again. So, I had an important choice to make, forget about my fear and live the moment, with no guarantee of tomorrow, or just lose him now and never really know what might've happened?
Freddie's POV
I woke up on the hard floor of the fire escape. Thanks to this crazy weather, I could sleep out here without getting a cold, and my thick sleeping bag helped too. I didn't want to go back into my room, it smelled like her, since she left. I didn't want any reminders of her, even if I wanted her 24/7. After that little show in the bar, I decided it was time to get a grip, she was already with someone else, so I should be moving on too. So why was that so hard?
Maybe because I'm a wuss-sappy-nub-drama-queen? Maybe I'm seeing the problem bigger than what it really is. I'm seventeen, and just because my girlfriend broke up with me doesn't mean my life is over. And even if I love her more than anything and still wish we were together, I need to move on… but I can't. I want to, but I can't. She's my fucking lobster. I enjoyed the silence of the apartment, thanking God my mother agreed on taking Gun Smoke to a freak parents event, somewhere around the state.
But wanting doesn't change anything. I walked into my bedroom, fighting the urge to sniff my pillows just to see if they smelled like her too. I needed a shower, I needed to shave and most importantly; brush my teeth. I got a Carly shower, spending at least thirty minutes under the hot water, before putting some clothes on. There's really not much I could do around here, so I just turned on the TV. Nick and Norah's whatever is the rest of the name, because I'm too tired to give a fuck was on, but I was on the mood to watch True Blood.
Knock, knock. I knew it wasn't Brad, because he left a message saying he would be at Maya's birthday party. I dragged my feet, and opened the door, without looking out my peephole.
There she was, standing in front of me, wearing high heels and a white dress. Strapless, but not as short as the clothes she used to wear. Her hair was on a ponytail and she smiled at me. I could tell she was wearing less makeup than she normally would.
"Hey" I waved lamely.
"Hey… what are you doing here? It's Maya's b-day, come on. Let's go to the part!" she grabbed my arm, rocking to the sides.
"Patrice… I'm not in the mood for partying" I exhaled.
"Don't care Freddie. You can't lock yourself in here forever… besides, you look like shit"
"Hangover" I shrugged.
"Hangover? You? What happened?"
"Why don't you come in and I'll tell you" I said, pulling her into the apartment with me.
I told her what happened, and I never felt so ashamed. The look she gave me, burned into my head, and I could tell she was upset and disappointed. After I told her the whole story she sighed and stood up, glaring at me.
"I thought you were better than this" she let out.
"Patrice I…"
"No Freddie, this is unacceptable! Even if Sam is really with this Pete guy, it doesn't give you reasons to walk around, drinking till' you drop"
"I know, and believe me, I feel ashamed"
"Then change your clothes and let's go to this party. You need to breathe some fresh air, you need to get out of here, and not to go to a bar!" she glared at me.
"Fine, fine… we'll stay ten minutes and leave alright?"
"Fine by me… go, put something nice on. There will fireworks at midnight, the time of her birth"
As I entered Maya's part, I felt out of my element, and totally lost. I'm not a party rat, and I'm not in the mood for partying. But I figured it could be a good distraction. Patrice said we were going to dance away our sorrow, and I decided to just go with it. Because I'm not blind, I noticed Carly's glares, and Brad's confused stares, but tonight I didn't want to deal with this. I just wanted to forget.
General POV
Carly Shay was pissed. She was this close to get her friends back together and now Freddie was about to ruin everything? Why did he have to show up with this girl? He was going to ruin the progress she was making with Sam, she was almost there, almost breaking her. Now this! Fan-bam-tastic! For her lucky, Brad saw this as a golden opportunity. Sam was almost changing her mind about the whole break up thing, and if she thought she was about to losing for someone else, she would freak out and just try to fix things between them. He told Carly to call Sam and tell her exactly what was going on. And he was right, in matter of minutes, Sam was there, eyes searching for Freddie and the girl in the white dress.
They were in the middle of the room, dancing at the sound of Simple Plan's Jet lag. Well, she was dancing, Freddie was moving to the sides, changing his weight from one foot to the other, sometimes moving his hips while singing along. On the other side of the apartment, a pair of angry blue eyes glared at them, especially the girl. Freddie didn't seem as willing as Patrice, or comfortable at all. Some guys would take Freddie Benson for a fool. First, he lost the blond, and now he refuses to tap the brunette, who was so willing? But the blond on the other side of the room, knew that the first part wasn't true. He still had her, and always would. That was why she was constantly sending death glares to the brunette dancing with him. The whole time, wishing she would suddenly drop dead.
Everybody was too busy with their own affair to notice that. Everyone but Carly Shay. She picked up her friend's vibe and nudged Brad, who nodded. It was time to do something. The blond was tapping her foot on the floor, arms crossed, narrowed eyebrows and a frown.
"Sam" she warned.
"Carly?" Sam used her don't bug me now tone.
She was too busy wishing Patrice was dead to care about Carly. Sam was angry and scared that she could actually lose Freddie to this girl. It wasn't right, and she should do something, but at the same time she was cautious; Sam didn't know what Freddie's reaction would be like, and throwing a tantrum could make things worse. Carly narrowed her eyes, and Sam knew what was coming, but she wasn't in the mood for that. Her best friend was good with long speeches, and she was going to talk for an hour and try to lecture Sam about love and stuff. Little did she know, her best friend had other plans.
"Punch her or something" Carly said.
"What?" Sam's jaw hit the floor.
"You gotta do something and fast. Throw Wahoo punch at her or something. Just do something about it!" Sam kept staring at Carly, in utter shock.
Happy to get Sam's attention, Carly smirked victoriously at Brad.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard her!" Brad stepped in "now go there and do something, because I don't wanna clean drunken Freddie's vomit never again!"
"That's right!" Carly said "do something or you're going to lose him, you big jerk!" she smacked Sam in the head.
"Ouch! Carly!"
"You're insecure and scared, but you gotta open up to love or else you'll be damaged forever!"
"Carly I don't-"
"I'm not done yet" Carly's voice reached a tone, only dogs could hear, fortunately the music saved the ears of those farther away from her. Only Brad and Sam didn't have the same luck "you hear me out Puckett. I'll talk some sense into your head, even if I have to shove it down your throat. Love requires an amount of effort, and it's hard but it's so worth the trouble. What Freddie feels for you is true love, and I know you feel it too, but you're a coward! You call yourself brave, but only a true brave person risks everything jumping in this crazy river called love. He was in, all in, but you never were. Whether you jump, or you give up forever! I'm pretty sure he can find someone who's willing to jump with him"
Sam felt her chest ache with the slight possibility to lose him for someone else. She couldn't lose him. She wouldn't lose him. Grabbing a open can of wahoo punch out of the counter, she walked towards Patrice with a plan. In order to talk to Freddie, she needed to get rid of Patrice.
"You go girl!" Carly cheered.
"You totally rock babe" Brad kissed Carly's head
Brad and Carly watched as Sam made her move. She was careful enough not to spill the wahoo punch in random people. That stinky soda had one especial mission to accomplish. At the sound of Lady Gaga's You and I, the drink meet its destiny when Sam collided with Patrice, empting the can on her white dress.
"Ah!" she screamed.
"Sam!" Freddie complained.
"Sorry, my bad!" Sam shrugged.
"It's okay…" Patrice said, trying to clean her cleavage "it's fine"
"I'm so sorry" Sam said sarcastically "it was an accident"
"Are you okay?" he asked Patrice.
"I'm fine. Listen, I'm going to clean this up" she told him "you two, talk"
She turned around and walked away, heart on her hand, knowing that maybe all of her chances with Freddie were going down tonight. If Sam did what she did it was because she was jealous, and if she was jealous was because she still loved him. He obviously still loved her, so Patrice knew that tonight was over for her. It was good while it lasted, now it was time to move on and accept the facts.
"What the heck is wrong with you?" Freddie glared at her; she saw fire in his eyes.
"I said I was sorry" she tried to play innocent "I didn't mean it"
"Oh, come on Sam! I know you better than this" he put his hands on his hips.
Freddie always found deeply amusing Sam's jealousy, but not tonight.
"I can't believe you could be so selfish with me. You don't have the right" and he walked away.
Sam followed Freddie out of the party. He was fast, and angry, so she had to run to catch up with him. She called his name a couple of times, but he didn't stop, or even looked back.
"Freddie, let's talk"
"This is not fair Sam! You don't want me, but you don't want anybody to have me? You're so selfish" he snapped, but didn't stop walking.
"That's not truth" she cried.
"What? Not truth? Come on!" he scoffed "you just threw wahoo punch on a girl who was dancing with me" he growled, turning around to face her.
"No, this part it's true. I don't want anybody to have you" she tried to be as honest as she could "the first part it's not true"
He froze. Freddie didn't know what to think. A part of him was happy to hear it, but the other was red with anger. If she wanted him in the first place why would she break up with him?
"So you want me? You still want me?"
"Yeah" she whispered.
Anger catch up with him. All the bullshit he put through all these years, this was the worst. She wasn't to mess up with his head, but his heart and that was mean.
"Then why you broke up with me?" he said, letting his anger speak.
"Because I'm stupid"
"Not good enough Sam" he turned his back at her and stormed out again.
"Damn it!" she followed him.
Sam was only able to catch up with him once they were out of the building. Man he was fast!
"Freddie please, can we talk?"
"No Sam! Why would we talk? What for?" he kept walking.
She followed him until they were in front of the Bushwell plaza, not stopping to catch her breath. Sam had one important decision to make; keep her pride and lose Freddie, or just stop being so stubborn and get him back. She knew what was more important. He was more important than her own fears, and if they would be together forever, only the time would tell, but she wasn't going to waste anymore time being stupid.
"Freddie, please. Let's talk!" she begged, following him inside the lobby.
"There's nothing for us to talk about. I put up with all of your crap Sam, this time I won't. If you don't know what you want, then I know what I don't want" he let out all his anger an angst into his words.
"I know what I want" she said firmly.
"And what's that, Sam?" he asked over his shoulder.
"You" she hoped this would make him stop climbing the stairs, but he didn't. He didn't look back.
Okay, she needed to look at her priorities again. What she wanted the most? She knew the answer: she wanted him, now. Okay, there it goes, it was her final chance.
"I love you" she smiled when he froze two steps ahead of her.
Freddie's heart was beating fast, threatening to rip out off his chest. He waited, and dreamed to hear this again, it was everything that he wanted and more. His heart felt warm and light. Happy. She loved him, and he felt like kissing her, he wanted to turn around and kiss her desperately, but his mind went back to when she broke up with him. He remembered what she said to him; love was not enough. He took a good look at her pretty features.
"But love is not enough, remember?" he said coolly.
She told him that before, she lied about it, because to her his love was more than just enough. And there he was, that night, begging her not to leave him, telling her he loved her, and she just broke his heart, telling his love was not enough to make her stay. He waited for her to say something, anything, but what could she say? He got tired, and shook his head in disappointment, then walked away, leaving her hanging. Freddie was leaving and she was letting him go? What the heck was wrong with her? That was not what she came here for, she was not going to lose him again. You gotta do something Carly's voice echoed in her head. I gotta do something, anything, I'm not going to lose him, not again.
When she reached his floor, he wasn't nowhere to be found, but his apartment door was unlocked. Sam took a deep breath and opened the door. She looked for Freddie inside his room, in the living room, bathroom, kitchen, and nothing. There was only one place left to search, the fire escape. She didn't bother knocking on the window this time, he was standing there alone, gazing at the city. All she could see was his back, she wanted to come closer and touch that perfect brown hair of his, but it was a dangerous move to make. Sam tripped on the sleeping bag that was lying on the floor, with pillows and a sheet. She wondered what the heck they were doing there.
"You have a bed on your fire escape" by then he already knew she was there, behind him.
"I couldn't sleep in my room" he continued to gaze the stars.
"Why?"
"My room smells like you" she wasn't expecting to hear this.
Sam was so sorry for the pain she caused him and wanted to take it all back, and make it go away.
"I was wrong and I lied" she confessed "what I told you was a big fat lie" because he didn't say anything, she kept going "when I told your love was not enough I lied, it's more than good enough, it's more than good, it's too good to be truth"
"Then why you broke up with me?" it was all he wanted to know.
"Because I love you"
"That doesn't make any sense, Sam" he mumbled.
"I love you too much Freddie. I know how amazing you are and how brilliant your future will be, I can't be the one to stand in your way… I'm not… I'm not good enough for you" her voice cracked and she felt her eyes started to watering.
He turned around to look at her, like she was mad or something. He honestly thought that they were over this issue, but apparently that was just the beginning. Her statement sounded like madness to him. What the hell was she talking about? Why would she still think that after everything they went through? This was bullshit.
"What the heck are you talking about?" he growled.
"You will be brilliant, you can do so much, you gonna go to a fancy college and meet people like you. You're going to meet people, and you'll see that you're wasting your time on me"
"Oh, don't give me this crap Sam! What that has to do with anything? You think I would forget about you in college? You know I love you and I would take anywhere with me" he hollered.
"Freddie, I'm not like this and probably never will go into a good college, or any college at all. I'll just stay here and work at The Chili My Bowl. I'll never be good enough for you, and even if you don't leave me, you'll regret it, and we would be unhappy and I would be just like my mother and you would leave me!"
He glared at her for a moment, before opening hi mouth to speak "who told you this? Your mother?" he didn't need an answer to know the truth.
"Well… she was just trying to-" he cut her off.
"I put up with every crap you said and did to me all of these years. I would accept if you broke up with me because I'm too boring, too nerdy and even too good, but because you don't think you're good enough for me?" he scoffed "you don't know what's good enough for me, you don't get to decide. You don't think for me Puckett, I had my mother for that my whole life and I don't need you too!" his words were like thousands of knives cutting through her soul. No one could hurt her like he did, and she came to realize no one could hurt him like she did.
"You're not good enough for me? you are enough for me, you made me happy, I love you goddamit!" he turned his back to her again "you claim that you love me, but you ought to love yourself before you can ever love me"
She wiped the tears off her face. He was right, he was so right. She tried to find her voice, to regain her strength. She needed to tell him something, anything that would bring him back to her.
"I was scared. I can live with the fact that I'll never be good enough for you, but I couldn't bear if you found out. I'm afraid okay? I'm afraid that you will leave me just like my father did to my mother, he said he loved her, he said he cared, but in the end he packed his bags and left! My mother has her flaws, but in her own way she was trying to protect me. I so scared I decided to run, because that's what I do Freddie" she took a deep breath "I run before things crumble over me. I thought that if I left you before you could leave me, it wouldn't hurt so much, but it does, because being without you suck either way" she screamed.
Sam let out everything that was on her chest and suddenly, the weight on her backs disappeared. This was all she could say and if he decided not to believe her, there was nothing else she could do.
Hearing those words broke Freddie's heart. He knew Sam was frightened, but he never knew how much. She had so many scars, and there was no way she could learn how to love if she was never told. He thought about her mother and her father, he thought about her life and her sister, there was no way she could learn how to love from those people. He knew she meant every word she said, she opened her heart for him, letting him see her entirely for the first time and he couldn't overlook that. Sam looked so exposed, so frightened, all he wanted to do was hug her, hold her and never let her go. Freddie wanted to tell her he wouldn't leave her and that he loved her.
(I forgot to put it before but you guys should read this listenning to Lifehouse's Everything (live in studio) it's perfection!)
Suddenly the angry he felt was replaced with an amorous feeling. Freddie felt the love they shared taking over him as he walked towards her capturing her lips with his own. He kissed so desperately, he was longing for her, he wanted her more than he wanted to breath. Sam too felt like her lungs just started to function properly again. The whole time without him was killing her, she felt like she couldn't breathe, Sam needed this, she wanted this so much. It might seem a bit too out of personality for her, but she didn't care, Sam wasted too much time with this crap and all she wanted now was the boy in front of her.
His hands wandered around every part of her, while she wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Freddie moaned when he felt her tongue inside his mouth. He missed her curves, her skin, her lips, her eyes. He wanted to eat her alive if he could, and Sam knew that and she knew this kiss was different. Her heart was beating fast inside her chest, she knew it was time to be with him, and as close to him as she possible could. She wanted to give herself to him there and then.
Eventually he pulled away so both of them could breathe., touching her forehead with his own.
"Don't ever do this to me! You heard me?" she nodded "don't ever leave me again. I don't care if you don't get into college, still I would take you with me to Boston so we could be together because I have no plans in leaving you. I don't want anyone else and I doubt I'm ever going to. You're my lobster Sam, you'll always be"
She smiled, knowing exactly what he was talking about. They were each other's lobsters, and they would hold on to each other forever.
"You're my lobster too Benson. I'm sorry I was a coward"
"Just promise you won't leave me again" he begged.
"I won't, I love you" she leaned forward capturing his lips into a maddening kiss.
Her hands slowly traveled through his broad shoulders and chest, unbuttoning his shirt. Freddie broke the kiss to suck on her neck, inhaling her scent, that perfume he missed so much. The same taking over his whole bedroom, and he didn't want to sleep there because it smelled like her, and that made him angry. He didn't want it to be there but he didn't want it to go away either. He stuck his head into her curls, sniffing her again and again. Her scent was enough to make him hard.
Sam felt his erection poking her thigh, and that sent shivers down her spine. She wanted have him now. Freddie started to trace little wet kisses all over her jaw and throat while she finished unbuttoning his shirt, sliding it down his shoulder. That brought Freddie back to reality.
"Sam? What are you doing?" he held her hands against his chest.
"Making love to you" her eyes begged for him to take her there and then.
"Are you sure?" he stroked her hands with his thumbs.
"Yes, I never been so sure"
He smiled and let her take his shirt off. They kissed, this time furiously rubbing their bodies against each other. Sam grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked, making him yelp. Freddie pulled away to suck on her neck, not really caring if he was leaving marks, because she was his to do whatever he wanted to, and in that moment he wanted to brand her, cover her with evidences of his hunger for her. Sam threw her head back, shifting a moan, god his mouth felt so good on her neck.
"God Sam… I miss you so much" he kissed all over her throat and back to her jaw.
"Ah… Freddie" Sam gasped, grinding her hips harder against his arousal, feeling her own panties getting soaked.
Freddie tugged on the on the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. He immediately attacked her breasts, kissing, nibbling and sucking whatever the bra left exposed.
"Oh lord… Freddie… don't stop" she cried out, gripping his shoulders for support.
His hands went to the small of her back, then under the claps of her bra, before he could free her breasts, a drop of cold water fell on his bare back. At the first moment, Freddie didn't seem to mind and kept sucking and licking all over her cleavage, then the droplets became rain, pouring down on him.
"Shit! It's raining" he growled.
"Oh my…" Sam began to laugh.
"It's not funny!" he snorted, picking their shirts off the floor along with his pillows and sleeping bag, tossing everything inside the apartment.
"Oh I just remembering something" she said.
"What?" he tried to climb the window and pull her inside with him, but she pull him backwards into the fire escape.
"My mother said that it doesn't rain in a week" she smiled.
"So?" he said, all covered in rain.
"We broke up a week ago. And now we're back, it's raining again" she wrapped her arms around his neck "isn't it funny?"
"I guess the rain was waiting for us" he pressed his lips against her briefly, before putting her over his shoulder and carrying her into the apartment.
He tossed her in before climbing the window himself, getting rid of his shoes and wet socks. Sam did the same, tossing her converse somewhere around the room. He grabbed her by the waist and slammed her soaked body against his, earning a squeal from the blond. Finally, he unclasped her wet bra and tossed somewhere into the darkness of his room. She rubbed her breasts against his bare chest, making him moan, his manhood hardening even more.
"I need you. Want you… love you so much… I can't be without Samantha" normally, Sam would kick someone who called her by her full name, but the honest and sexy way he said it, made her feel hot all over.
"I love you too Fredward Benson. Forever"
She made a quick work to get rid of his jeans and boxers, leaving him exposed in front of her. Freddie watched as she pulled back ogling his naked body, but her lustful stare was too much for him to take without doing anything. He rushed forward, tossing her on the bed, practically yanking her pants and underwear down her legs, and planting wet kisses on her now exposed thighs. He lifted her leg, and threw over his shoulders, kneeling on the floor to lick the back of her knees. Sam cried out his name, back arching away from the bed in pleasure. He did the same thing with her other leg, earning a moan from her, before licking and nibbling his way up to her heated core.
The intention wasn't to tease, not tonight, because they were both longed for each other, sharing a raw moment of desire and love. Freddie kissed over her clit, and she bucked against his mouth, trying to get closer to him. He separated her lips with his fingers and licked her up and down, agonizing slowly.
"Oh Freddie… Freddie…" she tugged on his bedspread, spreading her legs as wide as they could go, while he kept working on her clit.
Freddie had her panting and shaking underneath his touch, before releasing her clit from his lips. She whined in protest, but moaned as soon as his body covered hers, coming down on top of her. He wrapped his arm around her waist to adjust her, bringing her to the middle of his bed, before lowering his head to kiss all over her breasts. Their first time supposed to be slow and lovingly, that was how Freddie wanted her to remind their first night together, so he forced himself to calm down, fighting the urge to thrust, and thrust hard. He pulled away panting, and calming himself.
"I love you, don't ever doubt that, don't ever try to run away from me again" he kissed her forehead "just trust me Sam, trust me please"
Warm tears rolled down her face as she looked into his dazzling brown eyes. She never wanted to be away from him, ever again "I won't. I promise. I trust you with my life"
He lowered his head, plating soft kisses on her shoulders, then her throat and her jaw. He wanted her to feel loved, wanted and special, because that's what she was to him. Sam rubbed her small foot over his leg, up and down his calf making him curl his toes and purr. His wet tongue circled her rosy nipple and flicked it, making the small bud hard.
"Oh… my god… Freddie, touch me" she gasped feeling the need to be touch.
The ache between her legs only increased, when his warm hand roamed all over her pubic area, but didn't touch her where she needed to be touched.
"Don't tease me, please, I miss you so much"
He responded by running his fingers over her folds, then dipping two of them in between, grazing slightly against her clit. He felt her, so warm and wet already, waiting for him. Freddie moved his hand from her core to her thigh, feeling it wet as well. He groaned, she was dripping with desire.
"Sam… you're dripping" he growled.
"Yes Freddie… I'm dripping for you" she moaned.
"Fuck!"
He pressed his thumb against her aching clit, and enjoyed himself as she arched her back off the bed and bucked her hips against his hand with a moan. He continued to rub her, and when he felt she was close, he removed his hand and pulled away. If glares could kill, he would be dead by now, because Sam was beyond frustrated as she watched him move away from her.
"What?" she growled.
"Wait… just a bit" he swung the drawer open and grabbed a foil package, ripping it with his teeth and quickly rolling down on his erection "are you sure about this?"
"Yes… I'm already soaking you bedspread Freddie" he felt his rocket throbbing with desire, and his heart beating fast, with love.
Giving a sweet kiss on her forehead he positioned himself in front of her entrance. Just to be sure she wouldn't back out like last time; he looked into her eyes and paid attention to her every expression. She was smiling, her eyes shining as she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him close for a soft kiss.
"I love you Samantha Puckett"
"I love you Fredward Benson"
Freddie made his first move. A small thrust, between her folds and into her heat. Sam gasped, feeling a slight discomfort, but as he moved into her, the head of his manhood fully inside of her, she cried out in pain. Freddie wasn't taken aback by her pain, but couldn't help but moan at how good and tight she felt around him.
"You're okay?" he whispered.
"Yeah… it hurts a bit… put a little more in"
"Okay"
She gripped his shoulders, as he pulled back a little and thrust into her, putting more of himself inside of her. The pain was almost unbearable, and Sam thought she never felt so much pain before. He kept going until he was all the way in, grinding his teeth to keep himself from thrusting in and out. Tears rolled down her cheek again, the sharp pain all over her lower area was making her dizzy.
"I'm so sorry" he kissed her forehead.
He kissed her slowly, but Sam was grinding her teeth, nails digging into his bare back. After a few seconds, she felt the discomfort fading away, and she whispered into his ear, telling him to move. And he moved, he pulled back, and thrust back in, pulled back, thrust back in, slowly. It still hurt, but not as much as the first time, and soon Sam began to feel the pain being replaced by the delicious feeling of having him inside of her.
"Ah… you're okay?" he gasped.
"Yeah, it's just a bit uncomfortable… I'm okay now... god Freddie, you're fucking huge" she moaned, as he moved inside of her again "you can go faster now"
Those five words were all he wanted to hear since he first entered her. The slow pace was killing him, he needed more friction. Freddie pulled almost all the way out and thrust back in faster. He did this twice, making Sam's eyes roll to the back of her head. Now that the pain was completely gone, she could feel every inch of him pulsing inside of her, and that made her crazy. Sam opened her legs wider, wanting for him to go deeper, and he pulled back and thrusting into her harder and deeper.
"Oh lord… oh my god!" she cried out and he groaned.
"Ah… Sam…" he hooked her leg around his hips, and thrust harder than before.
"Fuck Freddie… I love you… oh my god… oh my god!"
Sam bucked against him, lifting her hips off the bed to meet his every thrust, always panting for more. She dug her nails into his back, clawing him, ignored his cries of pain. Inflict pain on him was always her favorite hobby, but not anymore, this was much better. Sweat began to collect at every part of their exposed bodies as they moved in sync.
"Freddie… Freddie… I'm so close… I'm almost there" she hollered, not being able to control how loud she was being.
"Me too… Sam… my god… I want to feel you… go ahead and lose it" Sam gripped on his wet hair.
His thrusts became harder and faster, deep inside of her, and she knew the next morning she would be limping but that wasn't important. Wrapping her two legs around his waist, her body began to shake and squirm against her will. He was making her feel so good, she was right over the edge, just about to fall.
"OH… OH… AH… MMMMMM…. FREDDIE!" she hollered, the neighbors would probably be covering their ears at that moment.
"Oh my god…" he moaned when her walls began to clench around him.
It was all so good, the friction, the warmth, the feelings and Sam couldn't take any more of that delicious torture, she needed to let go. And she did, getting lost into an amazing bliss, as her mind went blank and her body arched again, for the last time. The fireworks began at Maya's party, and that was the perfect soundtrack for what was about to happen.
"FREDDIE!" she came screaming his name and that was enough to send him over the edge.
"Fuck, Sam… I" he intertwined their fingers.
Freddie squirmed and shifted, moving in and out of her sporadically, as his orgasm washed over his body. He collapsed on top of her and as soon as he stopped moving her body went limp. Trying to catch their breaths, both kept the position for a while, not able to move. Freddie pulled out of her, watching Sam pant, still too sensitive. Nothing ever felt so good and he doubted he could ever feel this way with anyone, but his crazy, blond headed demon.
Still on top, he rolled off her, pulling her into his arms, just because he needed to proximity "wow… that was the best night of my life" he kissed her damp hair.
"Mine too Benson… mine too" she lifted her head off his chest and started to kiss all over his face, wherever she could reach "thank you"
"No, thank you" he gave her the same treatment "I love you"
"I love you too, big dork"
Freddie chuckled, feeling completely happy for the first time in his life. He hoped nothing would change that. Looking over Sam, he smiled at how pretty she looked when she slept, how serene and sweet. This was the first time in a week she felt asleep so quickly, it felt so good to be surrounded by his warmth, feeling safe and loved. Didn't take long for Freddie to fall asleep too. There was things they needed to talk about, things left unsaid, but that could wait until the morning.
A virtual kiss and hug for my friend SAM-seddie-FREDDIE! HAPPY 100TH MESSAGE ANNIVERSARY! This chap is for you kid!
Also wann thank to the amazing reviwers from:
jesrod82
JuleFor
jamiewalsh
decipher (what do you mean when you said painful?)
Nameless
Alessia - I'm from Brasil, so I'm not expert either :)
Awesome Person55 - I have no idea what happened! If they break up, then why Jennette's still wearing those huge heels in future episodes? Dan is trolling with us, and I'm confused too because after the episode was over a pic from the kiss at had this for description - Sam and Freddie ALWAYS kiss and make up... I don't know what happened really.
To all my other reviwers, YOU'RE THE BEST! And to answer your question, this fic will have about 55 to 60 chaps, then I'll write the sequel - iSeddie Senior year. All the drama about college, weddings, babies and daddys.