Author: gatekat and starshield on LJ
Pairing: Prowl/Soundwave
Rating: R for mech/mech
Codes: Crossover, Slash, Field
Summary:
Disclaimer: The authors are only playing with their own twisted muses. Transformers belong to Hasbro. Fandom-side, check the inspirations page ( gatekat-fics .livejournal .com/290 .html ) We draw from a ton of amazing stories and authors you should read.
Notes: klik = 1 minute; breem = 8.3 minutes; joor = 6.3 hours; orn = day/32 joor; metacycle = 6 (5.9285) years; vorn = 83 years/14 metacycles
~text~ bond/hardline talk
::text:: comm chatter
At All Costs 08: Questions and Answers
The situation in his office was far different from normal, so different that under any other circumstances Prowl would have been thoroughly irritated. Instead he found himself looking up every now and then in good humor at the symbiots wrestling on his floor and disturbing his personal space.
Why Rumble and Frenzy both needed to be with him that orn was still a mystery, but it was a nice change. He reached for the next assignment, a simple analysis, and set to work as another squabble fired up.
"Hey, Prowl!" Frenzy suddenly spoke, his brother momentarily pinned with his face pushed into the floor. "When are you going to let the Boss have some?"
The Praxian twitched, distracted from his work by the question and considering how to frame into an answer something he had been considering himself. Not that he was sure the question was entirely appropriate coming from Frenzy, they deserved something. "When it will be mutually beneficial to all, I think."
"That's no answer," Rumble grumbled from the floor as he struggled to dislodge his brother. "What are you waiting for? I mean, seriously here, just what does he have to do to prove he's not out to hurt you?"
"I know he does not wish to harm me." Prowl replied quietly, sensor panels twitching in frustration as he sought words to express what he felt. "It is just..."
"What do you want from him then?" Frenzy asked instead. "Prowl, we're not the enemy here. We want the Boss happy, and that means you're happy. We've watched him turn down some very good offers, waiting for you to mature. It's killing him that you'd berth a pleasurebot and not him."
"Even if he'll deny it completely," Rumble added, twisting under his distracted sibling to turn the tables. "He'll be furious if he finds out we're even bringing it up."
"Jazz is nothing more than a night of forgetfulness and educational relaxation." Prowl told them, told himself as he tried to believe his own words. "Soundwave is...much more. You all are much more than that. I wish to avoid doing something that will cause regret and pain later."
Though if what they were saying was true than Prowl was already doing what he was trying to avoid. Damned if did, damned if he didn't.
"Just ... don't make the Boss regret all the vorns he's put into you, waiting for you," Frenzy said, somewhere between plea and threat.
"Yeah, he'll do anything for you," Rumble said. "Even let you go, if that's what you really want. Just tell him."
"Doesn't even need to be words," Frenzy added as he got Rumble pinned. "Just work out what it is and think it. Or tell him to go digging for it."
"He'll do anything for you. We'll do anything to protect him," Rumble said in a definite threat. "He's our master."
"It is not my intent to cause distress." Prowl replied, his own distress growing visible as he sat at the desk, work forgotten for the moment. He valued Soundwave, the time spent in the mech's company, and by extension in the company of the symbiots.
He did not wish to loose that.
He would..."I will speak with Soundwave tonight."
"Good," Rumble nodded as the pair distracted themselves with wrestling again.
Prowl was tired when he reached Soundwave's door that night- he still thought of them as the communication officers quarters, no matter that he recharged here most nights instead of returning to his own each orn.
Rumble and Frenzy had departed for an assignment of their own not long before Prowl was supposed to have gotten off shift. 'Supposed to' being the key phrase, since a pile of data had been dropped off just after their departure with an urgent analysis notation on it.
So here, joors later, Prowl was taking a moment outside the door to push all of that to the back of his processor and reviewing the conversation that with the symbiots from earlier in the day. Everything that he had told them about his relationship with them and their host was true.
The Praxian valued their company and the care they showed for him highly. He had thought he was doing an acceptable job expressing his sincere gratitude, spending as much off duty time as he could with Soundwave, and if not with him than with those he cared for.
Apparently he was falling short.
With a sigh Prowl opened the door, prepared to face whatever was to come his way and find a way to fix his shortcomings.
As soon as the door slid closed behind him Soundwave looked up from his workstation and clicked his face mask open to show his smile of welcome, though he did keep his visor down to conceal the white optics that disturbed Prowl.
"Prowl: distressed," Soundwave said quietly and stood to walk to the mech he hoped to call his lover one orn. "Why?"
"Rush analysis." It was true, and as good of a place to start as any. Sensor panels twitched in irritation. While Prowl understood that they did happen and were often out of anyone's control, it did not mean that they did not still annoy him.
Soundwave nodded and stepped close to Prowl, one hand reaching out to stroke a sensor wing gently, trying to sooth him. "What will make Prowl feel better?"
Prowl looked at him, torn and doing his best to hide it.
He knew what he wanted to do. What would relax him? An evening of peaceful reading with some energon, maybe playing with the symbiots if one or more of them wished, before falling into a well deserved recharge with Soundwave, to wake safe and well the next orn.
At the same time he couldn't forget the accusations of Rumble and Frenzy. Their points were valid. Soundwave was giving into Prowl on every point, and all Prowl had done was ask for more compromises on Soundwave's part in return.
His sense of balance rebelled at the realization, and he found himself looking up again. If that was all it would take to begin correcting the imbalance between them...
The sensor wing pressed into the gentle touch as Prowl tried to force his processor smooth into a state of peace.
Soundwave continued to caress the sensor wing gently, soothingly, and knelt to place their optics near level. "Soundwave: requests full honesty. What is bothering Prowl?"
Prowl vented softly, stepping forward to lean into Soundwave, field spreading out with an easy familiarity now. "Imbalance."
Emotion flooded Prowl's field as he stopped trying to make sense of it all and gave Soundwave the honesty the mech had asked for. How he had wronged Soundwave. How much he appreciated everything the communications officer had done for him. How much the sense of belonging and family Prowl had been exposed to meant to the Praxian.
In the middle of it all a want, a need to attempt to make it right. An offer, a willingness, to give Soundwave something in return. To ... try.
Strong arms wrapped around Prowl, drawing him closer, deeper into the welcoming, soothing EM field. Desire/arousal/want was wound deep in Soundwave's field, but it was still at a low enough level that it was barely noticeable. It was always in Soundwave's field around Prowl and they were both accustomed to it.
Now hyper-aware of what was going on with Soundwave, Prowl felt all the more guilty.
"Prowl: does not desire Soundwave as a lover," the host finally spoke, regret and resignation lacing his voice and field.
Guilt rolled off Prowl in waves at the truth that he was desperately seeking a reason for. Soundwave was handsome. Beyond that the mech was caring, kind, giving, and fiercely protective of what was his.
In every way he was the perfect partner, perfect lover, that a mech could ask for.
Which meant that there must be something wrong with Prowl. Something flawed in him, that he could not appreciate the perfection in front of him as deserved. "Show me where I am wrong."
"Emotion: not logical," Soundwave said as his field flared, wrapping Prowl in the full intensity of Soundwave's desire, arousal, need that had been suppressed and existed with for as long as Prowl had functioned. "Desire: not always physical," he bit back a moan and pressed his mouth against Prowl's. ~Soundwave: loves Prowl.~
Love?
That emotion that was so foreign to Prowl, the one he still did not understand. The feeling that he could not define. Anger could be defined. Rage, passion, lust, affection- all of that Prowl had experienced, could put into words.
But this one emotion that Soundwave claimed to feel he could not find, was not sure he could feel.
He leaned into the kiss, accepting everything that Soundwave was pushing at him and denying nothing because he couldn't. He didn't know, but he wanted to understand, and in Soundwave he had a willing teacher who wanted him to understand.
Large strong hands caressed him. Clawtips pressed into seams. Lips and a glossa that knew how to please entirely too well worked down Prowl's jawline and to his throat. He leaned into the touches, accepting them, feeling them, holding on to Soundwave. Still too unsure to offer anything in return, but not rejecting what was being given.
An emotion maelstrom was pushed to the forefront of Soundwave's field and Prowl's attention directed at it. Part lust, part desire, part familial attachment, part hope, part a sense of future all wrapped into one thing the large mech labeled 'love'.
"Like this?" Prowl asked, trying to understand. His desire to be in Soundwave's company, his need for the feelings of safety and protection that came with being with the large mech, and the peace it had brought him when he thought Soundwave was happy. The affection he felt for the symbiots, his desire to see them happy and well, his willingness to defend them without care of harm to himself.
Was that the same?
~Prowl's emotion: familial love,~ Soundwave murmured in his mind as he drew the smaller mech towards the berth. ~Soundwave's emotion: bondmate's love,~ he drew the differences forward, emphasizing the passion, the physical desire. ~Soundwave: no desire to interface with symbiots.~
So the love that Prowl felt was wrong? He searched, and cringed, clinging to Soundwave all the more, asking to be shown this passion that Soundwave felt for him. He felt passion...lust...but only ever for one.
Could he feel them for someone else?
He needed to know.
~Prowl's emotions: not wrong,~ Soundwave told him firmly, though he didn't hide that it hurt. ~Prowl's emotions: not what Soundwave hoped for.~
Then Soundwave slipped further into Prowl's processors and with a gentle touch for how strong the emotions and sensations were, drew Prowl into Soundwave's perspective.
With a shuddering moan Prowl felt the heat, the charge, the raw physical desire that consumed Soundwave every time they were near each other. It was lust, but lust directed at wanting to please another. The desire to be touched, kissed, held ... the way Jazz touched Prowl and made Prowl feel.
Prowl whimpered. He wanted Soundwave to be happy. Wanted him to be happy as Prowl was happy when he was near him. If that was what it took ... he was at least willing to try. He focused his attention outward, to his frame and tactile sensors. He was laying on his front, inside Soundwave's rib struts. Tentacles snaked around him, under his armor, over his sensor wings.
Pleasure as intense as any he'd experienced bloomed across Prowl's frame and processor. His EM field extended, seeking to feel who it was that was causing this and to share the sensations that were drowning him in pleasure.
Hands extended outward, reaching for something to hold on to, to ground himself with since his frame couldn't choose one touch to lean into among the many. Soundwave's frame was strong under him, steady for him as his own frame spiraled out of his control. The telepath's field wrapped around Prowl, feeling the pleasure Soundwave felt back into Prowl.
It was bliss, pure and unrestrained. Physical and emotional. Prowl's chassis, Soundwave's emotions. Mingled and sharing until there was no way for Prowl to tell what came from where.
It was simply exquisite in the purest sense.
Prowl melted into the seamless sharing, feeding the physical pleasure building to the point of almost unbearable across his frame into the bliss and receiving the emotion in return, the balance so perfectly right in the moment.
It would startle him later, when he thought about it, but in the moment the deep rumbling and explosion of energy from Soundwave's overload tore any ability to think from Prowl's processor as it dragged him over the edge with Soundwave.