… If I could just see you, everything would be all right. If I'd see you this darkness would turn to light.
And I will walk on water. And you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes.
I know everything will be all right, I know everything is alright…
(Lifehouse – Storm)
General POV
Smoke. Fire. Screams. Cries. Patrice… no Freddie. Sam opened her eyes and realized she had closed them as soon as the explosion happened. How everything went to shit so fast? In one moment things were great, she remembered laughing and enjoying an awkward afternoon with her boyfriend and a girl who liked him, and now… that. She didn't even know how to classify this. Should she call it a tragedy? Fate? Destiny? Accident? Sam didn't know what she was supposed to do, because to be honest, she couldn't bring herself to think about it. Think about what just happened meant have to wonder where was Freddie, and her heart couldn't… she just couldn't think about it.
Patrice looked with wide eyes towards the fire. Sam was standing in front of her, frozen in utter shock. Freddie was in there… and there was now a bunch of fire and ashes. The firemen tried over and over again to extinguish the fire, but The Arcade was a big place, there were flames everywhere. Freddie was there. In there. In the fire. They weren't the only ones standing outside watching that horrible scene, they were part of a crowd of people who made out alive, the rest just burned to death, or got hit with one of the many metal bars falling as the place crumbled.
Sam remembered why she felt so upset when she saw Freddie with Patrice the other day. It was because he called her friend. If he could be friends with her, then he could have feelings for her, like he once had for Carly. He liked brunettes, that was a known fact, and Patrice happened to be fragile, delicate, a damsel needing to be saved, aspects that a boy like Freddie couldn't overlook. That was her initial thought, but later on she came to realize it was stupid, and didn't make any sense.
The whole thing made her pissed, not scared, just very pissed, because another Carly was trying to get in her way, and that did not pleased Sam. That same night, after learning the truth about Patrice, Sam came to realize that she was nothing like Carly. Her best friend couldn't understand pain, it wasn't part of her happy world, and Sam admired that. She felt sympathy towards Patrice, that's why she agreed on coming in the first place, however when a metal bar almost hit her in the head and killed her, Patrice was the one who pushed her out of the way, saving her life. So maybe she wasn't all that bad, Sam could begin to understand why Freddie was fond of her…
And that's when her mind came out of denial land. Freddie. He was in there. He never left.
"No… He… can't… no…" those were the biggest words she could form.
"Sam…"
"Freddie… Freddie…"
"Sam…" Patrice's voice came out shaky, unable to keep her tears from rolling down her cheek.
"Freddie"
Nothing, but his name, could come out of her mouth. He was inside that place, probably burn to death, how could she deal with this? No, he must be okay somewhere, maybe if she went there to look for him she could find him safe and sound, alive, just waiting to be saved.
"I have… to go, look for him"
Sam broke into a run, but Patrice wrapped her arms around her shoulders, to keep her from running towards the fire.
"No! Let me go" Sam squirmed, but only with one quarter of her force, trying to break free.
"You can't go in there!" Patrice tightened her hold on Sam, trying to make her stop moving, stop fighting.
"No! You stupid bitch, he needs me, he's in there somewhere, and these useless shitheads are doing nothing to save him!"
The pain was way too unbearable, and she couldn't accept anything other than having Freddie alive, and back to her.
"Sam! Stop, you can't save him, you can't go in there!" Patrice tried to argue "you wanna get yourself killed? Is that it?"
Sam turned around and hit her across the face. She didn't punch her, she did something she used to do with Freddie; Sam bitch slapped Patrice, who wasn't scared, or offended or shocked. Patrice kept her hands where they were, around Sam, while the blond slapped her and punched her, over and over again.
"Sam, stop, please stop" the brunette's voice cracked, arms wrapped around the blond, bringing her closer "stop please"
"No! Don't tell me what to do, I hate you!"
Sam was screaming at the top of her lungs, kicking, punching and trying to get out of Patrice's hold. She didn't like that girl, and that girl didn't like her, then why the hell would she even care what happened to Sam? She shouldn't have pushed her away from the metal bar, she shouldn't grab her by the arm and lead her out of the crazy crowd, she shouldn't try to do anything for her, because Freddie wasn't there to see her, he wasn't there, so she couldn't impress him. So why the hell was she doing it?
Maybe it was because, sometimes, people do things for other people. Simple as that. Still putting up a fight, Sam started accepting the arms wrapped around her, there was no point fighting against it, because Patrice wasn't letting go anytime soon.
"He can't… I can't… no please no"
"I know, it's okay, I know…" those simple words made Sam tug on Patrice's shirt, and bit her lip, trying not to cry.
The two girls remained wrapped around each other. In time like those, the differences were pushed aside, and everyone around them seemed to understand the pain. Sam and Patrice might have hated each other at one point, but now that wasn't important, because when two people share the same pain, they began to understand each other better, whether they want it or not.
"You girls okay?"
Patrice opened her eyes to look at the boy with the breathless voice, and she froze, arms falling on her sides, which brought Sam back to reality. She turned around, heart beating fast, still so scared that was nothing but a mirage.
"Are you two hurt?" he asked, hands on his knees.
"F-Freddie?" Sam stuttered.
"Yeah…" he seemed a bit out of it, but aside from breathless and possibly traumatized, he looked fine. He was alive.
Next thing he knew, the blond had her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, slightly suffocating him. She had to touch him to believe the nightmare was over. Those were the worst minutes of her life, and she never wanted to think about it ever again.
"I'm fine Sam" he mumbled.
"Oh… you… I was so scared… I thought… I never saw you leaving"
"I heard your voice, calling my name" he said breathlessly "I couldn't reach you, but I knew you wouldn't get out without me… I couldn't scream, too much smoke, suffocating me... so I had to find another way to get out… if you knew I was out, then you would get out too" he coughed vigorously "I saw the back door and ran there… and then the place exploded… I went to the ground" he coughed again.
"Oh my god… we need to get you to a hospital" she said hugging him even tighter.
"I'm fine Sam, I really am" he said, but it didn't easy the hold she had on his neck.
Sam tried not to cry, she didn't want him to see her crying like a little girl, but on the inside it was exactly how she felt, small and scared. She started to shake uncontrollably, after everything that just happened she was afraid to let go of him, she was afraid if she did, something bad might happen. Being so close to lose him, made her realize she wasn't as tough as she thought, and she was completely frightened by that. Being weak was her greatest fear, and when it came to Freddie she felt anything he did could make her melt, or break down and she hated he had this power over her. But at the same time he also made her feel better, loved, special and those were things no one ever made her feel.
It wasn't an easy scene to watch, but it made Patrice sure he was well taken care of. She couldn't lie and say she didn't want to be the one holding him, but as she watched Sam fight to risk her life to go back inside the fire, just to find him, she knew that what they shared couldn't be compared to anything she felt for him. Surprisingly, she was okay with that. Now, watching the desperate way how Sam held onto him, made her realize that even thought she couldn't have him, she wanted that someday, she wanted to share that kind of bond with someone.
Life was short and she spent too much time pretending to be something she wasn't, and seeing these two people, who happened to be so in love they couldn't handle be apart, she wished to find someone who would love her that much. The thought was scary, to have someone having that much power over you. What if they leave? Then what are you supposed to do? How can you move on? But the way Sam and Freddie held onto to each other that moment, made her realize that some stories have a happy ending.
"I was so… I thought you…" Sam mumbled, trying her best to swallow her tears. I'm not going to cry she said to herself "are you hurt?" she withdrew, releasing his neck and looking for bruises.
"I'm fine…"
"No you're not" the blond spotted the red liquid rolling down his forehead "oh my god you're bleeding!"
"Sam, it's just a cut… I'm fine" he coughed harder this time "just really tired" his head ached like a bastard, but he didn't need her freaking out even more.
"Freddie, you should get this checked out" said Patrice, making the couple realize she was still there.
"I'm fine. You're okay? You're okay Sam?" he asked both girls, glanced between them to make sure they were okay "you girls okay?"
"We're fine" she reassured him "but you need to go to a hospital"
"No I don't! I'm jus-" he got cut off by a cough attack.
"That's it! I'm taking you to a hospital!" Sam looked around for the paramedics "hey you!" she called the young man who just got out of the ambulance.
"Sam…!" he wasn't able to protest much, because another series of painfully strong coughs caught him off guard, making him bend his knees and grab Sam's shoulder for support.
"You're not okay, so stop being stupid and let me get you help!" she hollered "my boyfriend just got out of there, he needs help!"
The paramedics rushed to get him into the ambulance, against his will, but he was way too tired to fight.
"No, it's okay, I'm fine" he insisted.
"Son, we have to get you some help okay?" the older paramedic told him.
Freddie reached his forehead to wipe the blood that was rolling down his face towards his ear, but the man pushed his hand away.
"Shut up Freddie!" Sam snapped "you could've died today, your fucking forehead is hanging open so just shut the fuck up because I'm not going to lose you because you're too much of a wuss to go to the hospital and face the doctor's big needle!"
He complied, taken aback by her reaction. She was on the verge, and he knew she was right, he needed to go to the hospital, maybe get some stitches then go back home. Sam spotted a few reporters there to cover the fire, but she didn't want them anywhere near to Freddie right now.
"Patrice, get in now" she hissed.
"Sorry Miss, only you can ride" said the paramedic.
"Listen" Sam grabbed him by the collar of his shirt "you don't wanna get on my bad side right now, so let her come with me and shut the hell up!"
The brunette complied, sitting next to Sam in the back of the ambulance, and Sam glance between Patrice and Freddie, who was falling asleep slowly.
"Son, you cannot fall asleep, okay?" the man started to clean Freddie wound.
"Freddie, hey" Sam grabbed his hand squeezing it "talk to me, you have to stay up"
"But I'm tired…"
"You can't fall asleep because we don't know if you have a concussion or something worst, so stay awake son" the man continued to clean the blood out of Freddie's forehead.
Sam's eyes went wide, threatening to fly off their sockets.
"Concussion?"
"Yeah, it all depends of the strength which he hit his head and where" the paramedic, grabbed some bottle and put a bit of liquid on Freddie's forehead.
"AH!" Freddie squirmed and hollered in pain.
"What the hell?" Sam held his hand tighter.
"He'll be fine, but we have to make sure the cut wont infect" the man threw the gauze in the trash can and opened another package, wiping the blood out of Freddie's forehead again "he's losing blood. He's going to need a few stitches, probably ten or twelve"
Looking at Freddie, who seemed weak and groggy, a solitary tear rolled down her cheek, but she was fast and discrete, wiping it away. The nightmare wasn't over yet, she still could lose him. Sam was having an internal freak out when the man said he was losing blood, she thought she would hyperventilate. Patrice, who was calmer, put her hand over Sam's. They weren't the best of the friends, but in times like these, that hardly even mattered. Sam looked at her and smiled, a small and sad smile. Patrice could tell she wanted to cry, she could see her eyes tearing, looking back at Freddie. He didn't know how lucky he was, to have someone like Sam in his life.
"Freddie, you gotta stay awake… come on dork, don't fall asleep, talk to me"
"So many screams… the smell…" he mumbled "the smell of burning flesh was the worst thing…"
"I know, I know… but you're okay now" she brushed his short bangs out of his forehead, noticing that one of his perfect shaped eyebrows was scorched.
"I'm fine, I know I'm" he smiled at her, trying to make her see he was in fact just very tired "I'm fine blondie…"
"We're here" said the driver.
The men carried Freddie on a gurney inside the hospital. He complained the whole way there, saying that he could walk by himself. The girls followed them, Sam always telling him to shut the fuck up, she didn't want to risk him having a motherfucking concussion or something.
"He's going to need stitches, we'll check for another bruises, do some exams, look for internal bleeding or fractures. Also we want to make sure he doesn't have a concussion. You girls can wait here" the doctor instructed them.
"I have to go with him! Please, I wanna be with him" Sam Puckett never begs for anything, but she didn't feel like leaving him at that moment.
"Sorry Miss, you can't but I'll keep you posted, it won't take too long and you'll be able to see him"
"No, you don't get it, I can't leave him alone, I'm not going to leave him alone! I need to be with him" reason just flew off the window and Sam started to yell at the doctor.
"Miss, calm down" Patrice held Sam's forearms "he's fine, he's awake, we just want to make sure he's one hundred percent okay so we can release him and you can take him home"
"Just wait here and drink some water, you need to calm down" said the nurse "the exams won't take long and I promise that afterwards I'll let you see him. You don't want to end up having a mental breakdown in from of the patient, this will be bad for him"
"Okay…" Sam took a deep breath "alright, I'll be right here"
"Sure" the nurse and the doctor left to check on Freddie.
"Sam you gotta calm down" Patrice put her arm around Sam's shoulders "here… sit, I'll get you some water"
"Patrice" Sam gripped her wrist before she could walk away.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you"
"No need to thank me. I kinda need some water myself so-"
"No, thank you for saving my life today…" she spoke quietly.
"Sam" Patrice grabbed Sam's hands "you don't need to thank me. I like to think you would've done the same thing for me"
"I would" she whispered.
"I know, now sit down and let me get you some water"
Twenty minutes of waiting exhaustedly, Sam was beginning to doze off when Carly, Brad and Spencer stormed into the hallway, very agitated. She stood up, next to Patrice and began to explain the situation. Carly hugged Sam for about a minute, almost suffocating her friend. She was pissed she had to see it on the news, but Sam said she was too tired and forgot to call. Brad had to drive because Spencer was trying to keep Carly from freaking out, she was very nervous, sobbing and choking. Wendy and Gibby arrived right after. They were surprised to see Patrice there, but left the questions for a better time. It all seemed so surreal, especially to Sam, who was still waiting to wake up from a bad dream.
"I was beyond freaking out Sam, when I couldn't reach you or Freddie… you could've called!"
"I'm sorry Carls, but I was worried I didn't think about anything other than Freddie!"
"It's fine… but you know you'll have to call Mrs. Benson don't you?"
"Shit!" Sam had completely forgotten about Marissa "you're right, I better call her… otherwise she'll just freak the shit out"
"She'll go batshit crazy no matter what, but I think it's the best thing to do, you know… call her"
"Samantha?" the nurse, leaving Freddie's room, called "he's awake and he wishes to see you"
"Oh thank god!" she rushed into his room.
Freddie was sitting on the bed, smiling. He had a huge bandage on his head, but he seemed fine, a little exhausted, but fine.
"Hey blondie" he opened his arms for her.
She ignored the stupid nickname and threw herself at his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly.
"I'm fine Sam" he said for the tenth time that day.
"You're sure?" she asked against his neck.
"Yes sweetie, I'm fine"
"I was so scared…" she admitted.
"I know, me too" he pulled back, holding her face in his hands "I could hear you but I couldn't reach you, and I got so scared, but not because of me but because I knew you wouldn't get out without me. So I had to find another way out so I could get you out of there. I found the back door, but the doorknob was too hot for me to touch it so I had to kick it open. It took me a while… but as soon as I was out, I tried to look for you but the place blew up. I felt on the ground and hit my head. When I got up, I was afraid that you were still in there… when I didn't know if you were out I…" he was cut off by Sam pressing her lips against his.
"Damn it Benson! You make me feel so weak! So scared and I hate that! I almost shit my pants thinking that you were in there"
"Are you going to cry?" he teased.
"Shut up!" she shoved him playfully.
"Ouch!"
"Oh my god… did I hurt you?" she checked for bruises
"Nope babe, I'm fine" he chuckled wrapping his arms around her waist "you're okay right?"
"Yeah, but if it wasn't for Patrice I wouldn't be here"
"WHAT?"
"She saved my life Freddie. A fucking metal bar on fire was going to hit me in the head and she pushed me out of the way" now was Freddie's time to hug her tightly, almost suffocating her.
"Jesus Sam! Oh my god you could've died… I could've lost you" he chocked.
"But you didn't, and I didn't lose you and that's all that matters" she ruffled his hair and smiled.
"Thank God…" he sighed, putting her hands on his heart "I almost shit my pants right now
"We're okay, it's fine"
"Yeah, but I didn't need to go to the hospital you know" he said annoyed.
"Yes you did! You were losing blood jackass" she shoved him "you inhaled smoke, and you were this close to become barbeque!"
"But I feel fine, sure my head hurts, but other than that I feel okay. You know I hate hospitals" he muttered.
"And I hate to see you like this, and I hated to think you were dead, and I hate to have to call your mother, but we can't have what we want all the time right?" Sam was seriously beginning to feel irritated.
"Sorry" he kissed her forehead and stuck his head into her curls "I'm sorry. Shit my mother will go crazy"
"Freddie, I smell like ashtray, you seriously don't want to hug me right now"
"Don't care Puckett" he planted a wet kiss over her collarbone "is everybody out there?"
"Yeah, you wanna see them?" Sam pressed her lips gently against his and stroked his cheek "you're okay right?"
"This is the tenth time you asked me that and I'll answer you the same thing every time. I'm fine baby" he intertwined their fingers "this is not like the taco truck accident; I'm not broken, just bruised, tired and stinky!"
"Whatever you say nerd. Who do you wanna see first? Your boyfriend, Bobo McBieber?" she teased.
"Ha, ha, and no. Can you get Patrice in here?"
She looked at him for a second; waiting for that familiar bad feeling to take over her, but it never came. Sam realized her mind about Patrice was forever changed and her presence or her relationship with Freddie was no longer something to worry to about.
"Sure thing dorkwad, I'll bring her to you. Do you want water too?" he nodded "okay, I'll be right back" she kissed the top of his ridiculously messed hair and left the room.
Carly, Spencer, Brad, Wendy and Gibby jumped to their feet, waiting for news. Sam knew Carly could swear she was the next to see Freddie, and she hated to have to break it to her friend it wasn't the case.
"Patrice?" the brunette had her head on her hands, her elbows on her thighs and seemed beyond exhausted, but she stood up quickly to the sound of her name
"Yeah?"
"He wants to see you now"
"Oh… okay" when Patrice got into the room and closed the door behind her, Carly grabbed Sam's hand and dragged her to the corner.
"What the hell?" she hissed.
"He asked to see her"
"Why?"
"Because they are friends" Sam shrugged.
"And you're cool with that?"
"Yeah" Carly gave her a why on earth look "because she saved my life today Carly, I guess I can cut her some slack!"
"Oh" Carly released Sam's hand "I didn't know that"
"Yeah, so if he wants to see her, let him see her. I'm going to call Marissa" Sam growled stealing Carly's phone "I'm in for a long conversation"
Patrice walked gingerly inside Freddie's hospital room. She knew Freddie wanted to see her, but she didn't know why or what for. It's not like she was expecting to be the next name he would call, but it made her happy, not in a romantic way though. The girl was aware that they could never be a couple, but they could be something much more special, they could be best friends. That was better than good enough for her.
"Hey"
"Hey you" he patted the spot next to him on the bed, telling her to sit down.
"You're okay?" she complied, sitting next to him "we were very scared, Sam-" she was cut off by him, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Thank you so much" he whispered.
"What for?" she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"You saved me today" he said against her neck.
"No I didn't"
"Yes you did. You saved Sam's life" he pulled back and held her face in his hands "you saved me when you saved her"
"I would do this for anyone"
"But you did it for her and for that I'm thankful" he pressed his lips hard against her forehead, making the girl smile "I'll never forget that"
"That's what friends do, right? So you own me nothing" she pulled away smiling.
"She likes you, ya know. She might not know that yet, but she does"
"She's just thankful" Patrice shrugged.
"That too, but I know she likes you" he rubbed her arms.
"You're okay right?"
"I am. What about you?"
"Fine, but I smell really bad" she sniffed her own hair "and I have to go home and tell my mom what happened"
"Yeah, you're right. I wish I could just get up and go home" she glared at him "seriously. Did you girls get checked up?"
"Yeah, like right after we got here. We're fine. Not even one scratch"
"See ya later then?"
"See ya" she stood up and kissed his forehead "don't be stubborn, do what the doctor says and obey Sam, she is really worried"
"Yes mother!"
"Bye friend"
"Bye friend" he smiled "thank you"
"You're welcome, now stop saying that"
He chuckled when she left the room, thinking about how good things would be from now on. It took a massive explosion and several deaths to get these two girls to bond, but god knows what he's doing. Freddie sighed, trying to relax, he always hated hospitals, it reminded him when his granddad had cancer.
"Oh my god Freddie!" Carly rushed into the room and wrapped her arms around his neck, suffocating the poor boy "oh my god, I was so worried. Oh my god, are you hurt? Where does it hurt? Did the doctors tell you that you're okay?"
"Carly, calm down, I'm fine" he tried to unwrap her arms off his neck, but damn she was strong.
"Carly, you're going to kill him like that" Brad walked into the room "you're okay man?"
"I'm fine, and tired of that question" he growled.
Brad grabbed Carly and yanked her off Freddie, making room for himself. He just stopped by the bed, sticking his thumbs inside his pockets.
"Just hug me" Freddie scoffed "you know you want to"
"Nah, I'm good" he snorted.
"Come on dude… you know, I know and she knows that you want to" he poked Brad playfully on the ribs.
"I'm good man" Freddie laughed and opened his arms for him.
Brad bit his lip, and looked around, making sure Carly wasn't going to take a picture of them or something. When he remembered her phone was with Sam, he sighed and moved forward, very quick wrapping his arms around his friend's upper body.
"You're okay, right man?"
"I'm fine dude, don't get too emotional"
"You scared the hell out of us, ya know? Sam too, we thought something bad had happen with you two" he whispered.
"I know, I'm sorry"
"Carly freaked the shit out when she saw the news, we all knew you guys were there… she almost fainted" Freddie snickered "don't laugh, wasn't funny"
"Uh!" Sam cleaned her throat, interrupting the boys' silent conversation "I knew you missed your boyfriend"
"Ha, ha" said the boys.
"Hey I don't like sharing either, but your bromance is just too cute" she laughed with Carly.
Brad pulled away and sat on the foot of the bed, Carly leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her waist. Sam took her spot next to Freddie, kissing his forehead.
"Your mother freaked out"
"I knew she would"
"What did she say?" he wrapped on arm around her waist and started to play with her hair.
"That she was trying to be your friend and give you some space, but it obviously didn't work, so she was catching the first flight tonight and give you a good old tick bath"
"Oh man!" he growled.
"Okay, I'm kidding, she didn't say anything about a tick bath, but she freaked out. Now your freedom is gone mister"
"Great… by the way, when can I leave?"
"Why the hurry?" Brad asked.
"I hate hospitals, and I'm starting to feel itchy" he sighed "and because I'm super fine"
"You'll leave when the doctor tells you it's okay to leave" he was trying to scratch his back and failing miserably, so Sam stood up and did it for him "Carly, Brad can you get the rest of the guys in here, let's get this visit thing over with"
"Sure, we'll do that" Carly gave Freddie a kiss on the forehead and Brad tapped his shoulder.
"Stay alive dude"
"I will"
The couple left the room, and Freddie sighed again, feeling exhausted. He hated all that attention and everyone treating him like he was breakable. He hated that Sam was so worried, he hated that he smelled like human barbeque, and he hated to lay in a hospital bed with nothing but a hospital robe. Hospitals were nothing but a reminder of when his granddad died. So many months watching someone he loved suffer and struggle, only to face a painful death in the end. Leave, he just wanted to leave that stupid place, but the doctor said he could only be released after the exams were ready and if there was nothing wrong with him. Freddie knew nothing was wrong with him, physically at least, mentally was something else entirely.
Sam's POV
My ear were hurting from hearing Marissa go on and on, saying she should never left, saying she was going to lock Freddie inside his room until college, hearing her cry, hearing her never ending questions about his situation , but my suffering was nothing compared to Freddie's. She called when he was in the hospital, and literally kept sobbing in his hear for two entire hours. Poor thing. I had the feeling she was going to come out worst than before. However, I totally get how she was feeling, I was still worried, and shaken about what happened, and not even seeing, not even hearing the doctor say he was okay seemed to calm me down.
Sure, I was motivated to be strong, no melting down in front of him, he had enough and didn't need to deal with me freaking out now. Of course, he knew me too well, so every now and then he turned to me and said he was okay. Freddie came all the way home in Spencer's car singing Red Hot Chili Peppers' Otherside and By The Way, to prove to me he was alright.
"Alright, we're here" I said, opening the door to the Benson's apartment "Whatcha wanna do first? Take a shower?"
"Yeah, I stinky and smell like hospital" he sniffed himself, grimacing "and I'm also very hungry.
"We'll do this, you'll take a shower in your room, and I'll make you something to eat…" I trailed off "no, I need a shower too"
"So, let's take a shower princess" he grabbed my hand and smirked.
"Nice try stud. You'll take a shower in your room I'll use the bathroom down the hall"
"What? Why?" he complained.
"We'll be faster this way" he pouted, and I kissed his nose "baby, you're tired, I'm tired…"
"You're just worried that I'm still hurt or something"
"That too… but still… do it okay, I'll be out in a minute to make us something to eat"
"I wanted to have passionate, angst filled, desperate sex"
"I do too, just not right now" I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.
"Mmmm… what?" he growled when I pulled away.
"Go take a shower grumpy" I shoved him inside his bedroom, but he gripped my wrist and hugged me.
"I thought I would never see you again today" he whispered.
"I thought the same thing…" I bit my lip trying not to cry or choke on my words "but you're okay now, and I'm here and that's all that matters"
"Yeah" I put my hands on each side of his face.
"Now go take a shower and meet me in the kitchen" he nodded and left.
The truth was, I needed to be alone for a while to cry. And that was what I did as soon as the hot water hit my back. I didn't want him to see me crying, it made me look weak and he needed me to be strong right now. Around eleven, we were in bed cuddling, not speaking. I wasn't in the mood to talk, but if he needed I would listen, he didn't say anything, and I wasn't going to push him, at least not today. Even when he told me he was okay, I couldn't bring myself to believe it. I knew he really wanted to be okay, but he wasn't, and I'm not going to pressure him today.
"How was the conversation with your mother?" I told him and he groaned.
"She kept sobbing again and again, telling me she was coming home soon" he sighed "I didn't want to worry her, it was the fifth time she called today. She also said there were no flights for tonight, so was going to drive here"
"You're her only child, she's worried" I started to play with the hair in his forearm "but it's a 15 hour drive…"
"I know, I know… that's why she's leaving tonight, probably already did"
"She is crazy" I shook my head.
"At least is going to take her a while to get here" he brought me closer and I snuggled against his chest.
"Freddie!"
"What? At least she won't wake us up in the middle of the night freaking the shit out"
"Yeah… are you tired?" he nodded "then let's get some sleep" I kissed his forehead, and over the bandage in his head, careful not to hurt him, then his nose and finally his lips.
"I love you" he whispered.
"I love you too" I snuggled against his chest, hugging him closer.
I wanted to feel him, and love him and have him inside of me again, but I feared that if I did, I was going to cry like a little girl during the sex, so I'll only do it again when I'm sure I'll be able to hold my shit together. And today, I know I'm not going to be able to hold back the tears, today I was on the edge of an emotional breakdown. So damn fragile, and I hated it. How after years of being a strong and tough bad ass, I feel like I'm in the verge of tears at any minute now? It's all his fault, he's the one who makes me feel like a weakling little girl. He has this power over me, which sucks and scares me. With one touch he could make me melt in less than a second, and that's not fair at all. My reputation went to shit.
I was so tired I fell asleep the moment I closed my eyes, and for what it seemed to be only a second I felt myself waking up again. Freddie sat up suddenly, almost knocking me off the bed. He was gripping the sheets hard, and panting heavily, not mentioning he was all covered in sweat.
"Baby, what's up?" I put my hand on his shoulder, and he looked at me like he just woke up from a trance or something "Freddie?"
"Sorry…" he cleaned his throat "I woke you up?"
"I don't care… are you okay?" I wrapped both arms around his shoulders.
"Yeah, just had a bad dream…"
"Wanna talk about it? I brushed his damp bangs off his forehead and away from his bandages.
"No… I'm fine… I just need a bath again" he rubbed his face "I'm fine, I'm fine" he said it like a whisper, and I knew he was talking to himself.
"Freddie, I know everything happened today was pretty messed up, but if you need to talk I'm here" I turned his face to me "you have me, for whatever you need"
"I don't need to talk about anything" I glared at him "not right now, but I could really use a shower"
"Then let's go" I stood up and offered him my hand, he took it and smiled.
I sat on the bathtub behind him, my legs on each side of his body and my hands washing his hair and backs. Freddie was silent the whole time, thinking. He didn't even try to have his way with me or anything, and that worried me. I wrapped my arms around his neck before getting out of the bathtub and grabbing a clean towel. I dried his body and hair, being careful not to hurt his head. I changed his bandages, impressed with myself that I could actually do this right. He looked at me with a small smile on his lips, and when I looked inside those big brown pools of emotion, I couldn't hold back anymore, I cried.
He wrapped his arms around me and allowed me to cry on the crook of his neck. I was so afraid I'd never see those eyes again, but he was here with me. He hugged me until I stopped sobbing. Great, I cried in front of him. Shit, so much for holding back my tears.
"Sam, I love you. You know that right?" he whispered.
"Yeah, I know that"
"You're my forever. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere"
"And you're mine. I love you nerd" I wrapped the towel around his waist.
"I'm aware of that" he gave me a small but sincere smile.
"Good, never forget"
"I won't"
Freddie wrapped one arm around my waist and grabbed the back of my neck, kissing me passionately. He picked me up, carrying me to the bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist, throwing his towel on the floor, hands messing his wet hair, always careful not to hurt his stitches.
"Freddie…" I panted when he laid me on the bed, coming over me, kissing everywhere.
"I love you…" a wet kiss on each foot "so much…" a lick on each shin "I need you…" several nibbles over my thighs "forever"
I opened my arms for him, telling him to join me, but he ignored my request, biting the inside of my thigh, close to my most private area.
"Ah… Freddie" I cried out his name, arching my backs when his tongue reached my center.
He flicked his tongue over my clit and sucked it. Shit, everything he did was so good, but tonight I wanted to feel him inside of me, no teasing, I didn't want to go without him. I wasn't planning on going down that road tonight, but I already cried, so fuck it!
"Please, don't tease, I need you right now" I moaned.
"Just… let me…" he kissed my stomach, licked my belly button and ran his teeth over my ribcage "let me love you"
"Oh god" I arched my back further when he took my nipple inside his mouth.
I loved the feeling of having him all over me like that, of his mouth on my skin, of his wet tongue sending shivers down my spine.
"I need you inside of me please, don't make me wait anymore" I groaned, feeling his arousal rubbing against me "Freddie please…"
He put more of my breast inside his mouth while kneading the other. I hooked one leg around his waist, forcing him to rub against my core. He grinded against me, and I moved my hips upwards against him.
"Oh lord… please, please…" damn this boy!
He grabbed a handful of my hair and kissed me senseless.
"Please…" I didn't have to beg anymore, he pulled away and quickly found a condom by his nightstand "let me"
Freddie sat on the edge of the bed and I kneeled in front of him, putting the condom on the tip of his rocket and rolling down with my mouth.
"Fuck Sam… shit, oh my god" he shuddered.
"Now make love to me nub" I laid back on the bed, opening my arms and legs for him.
I wanted to feel the love he had for me, I wanted to have him inside of me because just a few hours ago, I risked losing this forever. He kissed me again, more passionately than ever before and a bit desperate, like he was trying to make this moment last forever. I ran my nails down his back and wrapped my legs around his waist, begging him to penetrate me, and he complied thrusting slowly into me, making my eyes roll to the back of my head.
"Oh…" I gasped, feeling every inch of him as he moved inside of me "god…"
This made me feel alive, and so close to him, closer than I've ever felt with anyone in my life. He kept moving, in and out settling a slow and agonizing pace for us. We kept moving in sync and it felt so damn good. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me, with those big brown eyes, and I couldn't help but kiss him again. Any excuse to shut my eyes, and his, because I knew if kept staring at him that long I was going to cry like a fucking puss again.
Suddenly, he wrapped his arm around me and sat up, still inside of me, making me straddle him. God, the angles it provided felt so good, he was super deep inside of me, and my clit was pressed against his crotch. The friction was enough to make my stomach flip-flop.
"Oh my god… Oh Freddie… oh god!" I felt him thrusting upwards inside of me, and I had to grind down against him "ah! Oh… holy shit!"
"Move with me Samantha" he whispered huskily against my mouth.
Jesus, that turned me on so much, the way his voice got low and deep, husky and manly, it was enough to drive me crazy. I tugged on his hair with both hands, far, far away from his stitches. I did as he asked me, I moved with him, up and down, slowly building enough friction to make him cry out my name.
"Jesus, Sam… I love you…" he bent to lick my breast and I hollered, the combined sensations were like heaven.
"Oh god… oh god…. Oh GOD!" I moved faster and faster, and he thrust upwards harder and harder.
"Look at me…" when I refused, he grabbed my hair and forced me to look at him "look at me"
It was like he knew what was going through my mind, it was like he could read me, he knew, and I knew that he knew what my emotions were right now. He knew that I was mentally on the verge of tears. I tightened my grip on him and our pace quickened.
"I want you to let it out Sam… again, let it out" he whispered and I moaned loudly.
"I…" there was nothing I could say, words felt so insignificant right now, so I kept looking inside his beautiful eyes.
It didn't take too long for me to reach my end, I dig my nails into his shoulder blades and cried out feeling my muscles clenching around him. He moaned so loud, gripping my thigh and waist tightly.
"AH!" I came, whimpering and panting against his ear.
This time was so intense, I guess it was because we could've lost each other today and I never wanted to feel this way again. He gave me a few seconds to calm myself down, but he didn't move, just kept one arm around me, his hand moving to my hair, to tug on it. He gently yanked my head back a little to whisper in my ear.
"I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved" he whispered.
Damn him, he was the only one who knew I loved that goddamn song!
"I know where you hide, alone in your car. Know all of the things that make you who you are. I know that goodbye means nothing at all, comes back and beg me to catch her every time she falls…"
Shit! Shit! Shit! I felt them, warm and wet rolling down my cheeks. A solitary tear became a waterfall, like an open tap. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, sobbing like a fucking weakling. The thing I hated the most about Freddie was that he could make me melt. He could break through my walls, that I spent years carefully building for my own protection, and could just reach my heart and steal it, doing whatever the hell he wanted with it. I hated to feel weak, but with him I felt like I could just drop the façade and let myself be a girl, that was hidden inside of me for so long.
"Even if I died today, I would always be with you that will never change" he pulled away, hands on my face, wiping away my tears "I need you to know, that even if I go, you'll never be alone. I'll be here…" he put his hand over my heart "always"
I nodded and let him comfort me. This was the worst day of my life. Freddie lay back, putting my head on his chest. I cried myself to sleep, with him by my side, saying everything was okay and kissing my tears away. I woke up around one in the afternoon, still feeling like shit, but way better than yesterday. I immediately missed his warmth, and opened my eyes searching for him. He wasn't there, and I started to panic, then I saw a note on his nightstand.
Don't freak out! Couldn't sleep, watching TV.
Oh boy… I shook my head and got up quickly brushing my teeth, washing my face and putting my messy hair in a bun. He was sitting on the couch watching the rerun of Friends. I knew he loved that show.
"Hey" I sat next to him, throwing my legs over his lap.
"Hey" he rubbed my knee.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You needed to sleep, besides you looked so cute, I just couldn't" he shrugged and smiled.
"When did you wake up?" I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Noon" he changed channels, stopping on MTV. Cody Simpson's video won some sort of competition against Big Time Something, or something.
"You should have… had another bad dream?"
"Is this kid some sort of Australian Justin Bieber?" he ignored my question.
"Freddie…" I sighed.
"Seriously, I mean… how many other Justin Biebers exist? There's that Lady Gaga kid… Grayson something"
"Freddie we have to talk about it. Did you have another nightmare?"
"But, this is actually a nice song… catchy but nice"
"Stop it, Benson don't run away from the subject!" I shoved him, but he had his eyes glued on the screen.
"Give me the chance to love you, I'll tell you the only reason why…" he sang along with that scrawny little blond kid "… cause you're on my mind!"
"Benson!" I growled.
"See? Catchy! You're on my mind, you're on my mind all day and night… cause you are on my mind!" he sang a little too loud "Jeez, his nose is so ugly! At least Bieber looks a little better"
"FREDDIE!" I hollered, making him turn his head and look at me "stop avoiding this like it doesn't matter! We have to talk about this, just open up to me"
"Fine, you wanna talk about? Let's talk about it" he turned his body towards me, facing me "I saw a guy burn to death, he was on fire, screaming for help and I did nothing. I saw a girl trapped under a gigantic metal bar, but I couldn't stop to help her, I couldn't do anything except run and hear her cries like a pathetic wuss. I couldn't help anyone because the only thing on my mind was you. I needed to find you, to make sure you got out. I needed to get to you and see if you were alive and safe"
I didn't say anything. He was inside that hell house longer than me, and he saw some pretty bad stuff, stuff he'll probably never forget. Good work on not pressure him Sam, good work!
"Freddie…" I put my hand on his cheek.
"Now every time I close my eyes I dream, I see it, I relive it. It sucks Sam, but I don't want to keep talking about it, because it requires thinking about it, and I don't want to do that anymore. I keep telling myself I'm fine, I keep telling everyone I'm fine, but I'm afraid not to be. I'm afraid I'm never going to be fine again" he said the last sentence quietly.
"I know… you'll get through this, I know you will because you're strong. But, maybe you could… you know, talk to someone about it" he shot me a death glare.
"I'm not crazy okay? I don't need a doctor, I'm fine" he growled.
"I didn't say you were crazy, you're just traumatized"
"You were there too, why don't you talk to someone too?"
"Because I wasn't paying attention to anything around me I was too busy trying to find you and I wasn't there for too long like you were" I straddled him, burying my face on the crook of his neck "its okay, ya know? To feel weak, I hate it, but sometimes we have to allow ourselves to be, we're humans after all. And besides, even if you were crazy, I would still love you, and visit you in the mental institution of your choosing, and bring you delicious snacks. And I would have sex with you in a nuthouse, because I love you and it would be a crazy thing to do. Which is what I do most of the time, ya know, crazy stuff. Pretty much all the time"
"Crazy stuff huh? Like loving me? This little nerd, who is slightly paranoid, and annoyingly good?"
"Yeah, like that. But hey, you should be crazy to like me too. An abrasive, violent, mental unstable blond, who likes to lick swing sets and knock down truck drivers with nothing but a carton of milk"
"Yeah, I guess we're both insane" he laughed and kissed the side of my head.
"Are you hungry?" I pulled back, resting my forehead against his.
"Uh huh" he nodded.
"Good, then go wash your face because you look like shit right now" he glared at me "then I'll feed you, change your bandages, and you'll get some sleep until your mother get here"
"Alright Captain Puckett" he kissed me again.
"Now go!" I got off his lap and pointed at the direction of his room.
"Sure thing" he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me again, slapping my butt before running to his bedroom.
"You'll pay me for that Benson!"
I shook my head and laughed. It was going to be hard making him get over everything that happened, but it wasn't impossible and that was enough for me. I went to the kitchen thinking about what I should cook for him. He needed a good food, real, food not the turkey sandwich I made for him last night. Maybe I could make some lasagna… I know he loves that, so I opened the cabinet looking for what I needed, but the bell rang.
"Marissa has the key, so it's probably Carly" I opened the door, reveling an man in a very expensive looking suit, probably forty-something "can I help you?"
"I'm here to see Fredward Benson"
"Are you from the police department? The hospital? The fire department? Reporter?" I glared at him.
"No. I'm Leonard Benson. Freddie's father"
Holy cow… looking at him right now he does look like Freddie… no he was the spit image of Freddie, only older and dressed in fancy clothes, but wait… his dad's name is Frederick, not Leonard.
"Yeah, don't think so… Freddie's dad's name is Frederick, not Leonard" I snorted.
"Frederick?" the man seemed so confused "no. Frederick was my father… I'm Leonard, Freddie's father"
Wait, so Frederick was Freddie's granddad? Why did he lie then?
"Sam, who is it?"
Freddie stopped his tracks looking at the man before me. His eyes went wide and he was pale, like he just saw a ghost. Freddie opened his mouth, twice but didn't really say anything.
"Son, are you okay?" the man got into the apartment, walking fast towards Freddie "I saw it on the news… you're okay?"
He wrapped his arms around Freddie, who was stiff like a board, his mouth hanging open.
To be continued…
Thank you guys for the reviwes, I know some people got confused about the way I ended last chapter, but it was necessary, not just anything would bring Freddie's dad to town! Oh and I wanna send a virtual hug to all my readers, and I want to answer a question a lot of people are asking me.
I don't know what happened to my PIC BUDDY Priincess Starlight... she stopped updating and never PM me back... It's sad, I miss her story so much!
SAM-seddie-FREDDIE, I love you kid! Just wanted to let you know.
And I know I shouldn't be fangirling about real people (Monchele), but who saw the Aussie KCA? OH JATHAN MAKES IT SO EASY FOR ME TO SHIP THEM, even though I shouldn't because they're re real people! I'm happy the friendship is back (I will not say they were flirting cause I can't be sure... but it looked like) Anyway... those amazing pics... Oh my... and Jennette totally loved Nathan's quiff, but what can I say? The boy is hot as hell!
You guys should totally check out this fic called iApuckettlypse... OH MY GOD next to the Ballad this fic is the best I've ever read!
Anyway, there's a Maroon 5 song in this chapter, because it's my favorite band, they were here last week and I couldn't go to the concert (Rock In Rio), so I'm crying for a week now. I just had to mention them, because I love them so much... Adam Levine is my future husband number 8 in case you all don't know... XD Oh and that's also why I cried while writing this chapter, because I was listening to the show... great I'm crying again!
Next chapter is called iDaddy's Little Boy.