So, things have been pretty rough for me right now, but I found the will to continue this fic, because of you guys, always supporting me. This is for you. I hope the chapter is not too short, but all the problems were already solved and this is just the resolution. The ending and the new beginning. Thank you guys so much for all the support and love.
-S. Benson
Sometimes tears say all there is to say. Sometime your first scars won't ever fade, away…
Sam's POV
It's been two days since Sophie funeral. I was on my way to the Bushwell Plaza, thinking about how things can change suddenly. Life is so damn short, and sometimes it passes us by so quickly, like a flash, we don't even get to enjoy it fully because we're too worried about shallow and stupid things. With Sophie gone, I started to think a lot about things I never did before, like future and stuff. I never quite thought about what I was going to be doing ten years from now, and before Freddie I never even knew if I wanted a family.
I know for sure I want him there, with me, but I never really thought about much more than that. Things with my mother are better now, but they weren't always this peechy. My dad I didn't even know, although I would always wonder where he was or what he was doing. My sister and I barely speak, and it's not like she doesn't try, because she does, but I was still too hurt to let her in and admit I missed her. Mel and I were always together, like Batman and Robin, mom wasn't always around so we had to take care of each other. When she got the scholarship I thought for sure she was going to decline it, Mel wouldn't leave me all alone to deal with mom. But she accepted it and moved away as quickly as possible.
For years I was mad at her for leaving me behind and all alone, when I would never do that to her. It wasn't like I didn't want to escape either, there were nights when mom came home drunk and I had to deal with her, help her puke and put her in bed, because Mel kept sobbing and whining on the floor. I wanted an escape from that too, but I would never leave her behind. I hated her guts for what she did, and although I don't hate her anymore I didn't actually kept much contact with her.
She was my twin sister for Pete's sake! At the time, I never thought that we were different and just because I wouldn't do something it didn't mean she wouldn't too. My first reaction was anger, because I wouldn't leave her behind like she left me, that was the right thing to do in my mind, but Melanie was different from me, and maybe the right thing to do in her mind was leave. I met Carly, who became a sister to me, but there were those days when I just missed Melanie.
The day I came back from Sophie's funeral, I kept thinking about that, and decided to call her. We talked about three hours, we said things we never said before and although I still think she is a wuss and a prissy, I have to admit solving my story with her felt nice. Of course she sobbed and whimpered, like the little girl that she is, and I was disgusted, but I kept my most sharp comments for another time. Mother was very pleased we were on good terms again, and to be honest, so did I.
I've been thinking a lot, and although that's never a good sign, I've been analyzing certain things. I couldn't help but feel bad for Freddie in a certain way. Even though I just reconnected with my sister, I had Melanie, Carly had Spencer, Gibby had Guppy and Brad had his sister, but Freddie… he had no one. AlFreddo didn't have any siblings and he must've felt lonely as a child. Back in the day I never thought about this, but now I see that I kinda helped him feel more and more alone whenever I told him nobody would love him and that we're not friends. This of course, it's on the past, and now he's doing much better, we're doing much better.
Speaking of Le Dork, he's been awfully quiet and bummed since Sophie died. Freddie had a great, big heart that could fit an entire nation inside, and he took a liking to people very quickly. To be honest, he is a bit too caring, but this is one of the flaws that make me love him so much. He didn't say a word about Sophie, no one single verb about anything that happened. My guess is that, if he avoided talking about it, then it wouldn't hurt as much, it wouldn't feel like it happened. The funeral was sad, and Freddie was quiet the whole time.
Sophie's mom, Natalie, couldn't stand being around anyone, she was too bummed and needed to lie down. Sophie's dad, Mason, had to take care of everything on his own, of course he had family and close friends to help, but in the end he was all alone. The funeral was one of the most difficult things I had to do, saying goodbye wasn't easy, and even thought I didn't know her for too long, I knew the basics, she was a sweet, witty and amazing little girl who deserved better than this, she deserved to have a life filled with happiness.
Even though she had cancer, and her parents had to be prepared for the worst, the death was a shock to everyone, especially the doctors. Soph was doing just fine, improving, responding to the treatment and one day she just… died. It didn't make any sense, but I guess God knows what he's doing, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
I didn't bother to knock on Freddie's door, because it was Saturday and Marissa was home, so I just opened the door and announced my presence.
"Hello there people" I greeted Marissa, who was in the kitchen and Gun Smoke, who was watching the game on TV.
"Hey Sam" he said, not taking his eyes off the game.
"Samantha" Marissa said over her shoulder "will you have lunch with us?"
"What are you cooking?" I peeked over the counter.
"Steak, a salad, baked potatoes and carrots"
"Can I pass the carrots? I hate them!"
"Sure… if you want to have bad hair" she shrugged.
"Bad hair?" I asked.
"You know, carrots are very good for the hair" she said "and I know my Freddie loves your hair. You should take a good care of it"
"Oh…" I trailed off. Freddie did like my hair… but those were carrots, and I wasn't about to make an exception just because Freddie liked my hair "no, I'll pass"
"Suit yourself" she said flatly "but it would keep your hair shinny and strong, and you would never have to worry about chemical products like the ones Carly uses" dang it! Freddie was right, this woman could be very persuasive.
"Fine! A few won't kill" I sighed "where's Freddie?"
"In his room" Gun Smoke answered from the living room "he's been there since the funeral… can you get him out?"
"I'll try papa Joe" I joked and he growled "I'll try, but if you hear screams, don't worry just cover your ears"
Marissa gave me a mortified look, and I just grinned in satisfaction. She's making me eat carrots; I have to have my revenge somehow. I ignored her protests and her cries for me to leave the door open, I just waved her off and made a beeline for Freddie's room. I knocked on the door twice, before opening it. Le Dorkhead was sitting on his bed, legs stretched, reading The Perks Of Being Wallflower. He saw me and smiled, closed his book and placed it on the nightstand.
"Hey" I said coyly.
"Hey…" he said softly.
"How you're doing nerd boy?" I sat on the edge of his bed, next to him.
"I'm…" he thought for a while, choosing the better answer to give me "fine"
"Fine huh?" I asked suspiciously "okay, if you say so" I shrugged.
"I'm okay Sam, believe me" he held his arms open for me, and I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"You being the sappy nub you are, all emotional and shit, I have to ask, do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I don't wanna talk about it" I glared at him "but I do want to talk about something"
"Okay, do tell" I pulled back a little, arms on his shoulders, to pay better attention at his face.
"What do you think I should do about Leonard?"
Okay, I didn't expect him to ask my opinion in this matter. Freddie was very reserved when it comes to his problems with Leonard, and usually he talks to Gun Smoke about it. Sure he told me what happened, but he never ever asked my opinion in this subject before.
"Well…" I was so unprepared for this conversation I had to think for a while "I don't know Freddie, I mean sure he made mistakes, bad mistakes and his problems with his own dad don't justify what he did to you, but if he's trying"
He looked at me and nodded.
"All I'm saying, or trying to say is, you have two guys who want to be your father, and yeah right, his timing is a little wrong, but better late than never right?" he nodded again "besides you don't have to compromise in being his son, like he said he just wants to be your friend. You could talk to him from time to time, and if he screw up again it won't hurt so much, because now you have a father"
"So… you're saying that I should let him be my friend and not my father?"
"Whatever you feel more comfortable with. I know that maybe you will never look at him and see a father, but I don't know if you should cut him off your life. And you're not the one who always says everyone deserves a second chance? There you go, take your own advice" I suggested.
"Uh…" he paused "what about you?"
"What about me?"
"You're not curious about your dad? I mean, do you even know anything about him?" he said, toying with my hair.
"No. I know everything there is to know about him" I shrugged "he is a low life scumbag, that's pretty much it"
"Did your mother tell you that?" he raised his eyebrows.
"No, but what kind of man abandons his own kids? I tell you what kind, a low life scumbag!"
"Leonard did the same thing, and you're telling me to give the guy a second chance. Shouldn't you take your own advice?" he poked my ribs playfully.
"Ugh Freddie!" I whined "don't think I don't know what you're doing. Occupying your mind with my problems so you won't have to deal with your own"
"That's… true. I'm sorry Sam… I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about life and stuff, and I don't know… I thought you might like some closure too, or maybe just you know… I don't know, I'm sorry"
I looked down, thinking a little bit. It was a fact I didn't know who he was or what he was doing with his life and to be fair I was a bit curious, but was it enough to go for it? To try to reach out to him and be disappointed? Pam never spoke much of him, not when she was sober anyway, and I never really asked, I didn't really wanna know. However I always felt like some part of me was missing, his whole side of the family was a blur, and that bothered me. I didn't like to feel like a bastard.
"Maybe… I don't know Freddie, it's been so long and I'm not sure if I wanna know anything about him"
"Well… if you want me to track him down I can. Think about this…" his voice changed from morbid, to eager "we can find him, drive there and you can meet him"
"Freddie…" I sighed "I don't know okay! Jeez!"
"If you do this I can do the Leonard thing" he said "come on! If I can do this, so can you"
"Just because you can do something doesn't mean that I have too!" I snapped "we're not one Freddie! We're two different persons! Jesus!"
He opened his mouth, about to say something but decided against it. Instead he looked down, his arms falling to his sides. I felt cold without the warmth of his touch, and regretted talking to him like that, even if he was trying to run away from his problems he had good intentions, he always did. I sighed and cupped his face.
"I'm sorry" I said softly "I know you just want me to be happy, but I'm not ready to talk about it, or do something about it. My father is a subject I don't like to touch"
"No" he sighed "I'm sorry… I shouldn't push you to do something you don't want just because I want to run away from my problems"
"Nah, it's fine" I shrugged off "I push you, you push me, that's how we roll"
"That's not normal"
"We're not normal, and you know what I mean, we just roll different than everyone else"
"You got that right" he chuckled "but we love each other that should be enough"
"It is! And you buy me good food, you're clean and smell nice and you're good in bed" I said matter-of-factly.
"Oh! Is that so? That's why you love me?" I nodded "alright, I can live with that"
"Oh you will, cause there is no way you can get away from me Benson"
"I wouldn't even try" he pressed his lips softly against mine, licking my bottom lip waiting for the entrance, I gave him eagerly.
Freddie gripped my waist and shifted, laying me on the bed, coming on top of me. He grabbed a handful of my hair with one hand and with the other he interlaced our fingers. The kiss was sweet, oh so sweet, like we haven't been kissing in a while. He stroked my cheek lovingly and rolled his tongue against mine. After a minute or so he pulled away, giving me a long and soft peck on the lips before kissing my chin and laying his head on my chest. My hands went automatically to his hair, to caress his scalp. The moments like these were the ones I appreciated the most. The quiet moments, when we didn't need to say anything, just enjoy each other's company; those were the ones I would remember forever.
"Samantha! Fredward!" Marissa called from the kitchen "lunch is ready!"
And now my sweet moment was ruined by Marissa Crazy Benson. Freddie groaned, and I did the same. He lifted his head up and kissed both my breasts before standing up. He held his hand for me.
"Let's go Princess"
"Yeah, I hope I can survive the carrots!" I groaned and he chuckled.
Carly's POV
I had everything prepared for tonight. Candles, cute lingerie, clean white sheets and most importantly, no Spencer. I asked Maya to help me get him out of the house for the night, it was a hard thing for me to do, because I usually don't go around sharing private details of my life with any of Spencer's girlfriend, but Maya is different. Of course she gave me that knowing smirk and a wink, which made me blush. I've been dating Brad for a while now, and I like him so much, it's time to go to the next step.
Having sex with Griffin is my biggest regret, I should've never wasted on him something so private and special. Back then I thought we had a connection, even feelings for each other, but now I see it wasn't true, none of it. Is no secret that I've always been a boy crazy kind of girl, and being alone is my weak spot, I like being admired by boys, I like when they flirt with me and give me full attention. Shallow, I know and I'm trying to change, but boys had always been a big part of my life. My world does not evolve around it, but it is in fact a big part of it.
The only guy I've ever went far beyond the line was Griffin, and it was only two times, before him all of my relationships were about making out PG-13 style and holding hands. Brad is different from any other guy I've ever dated, with him I don't have to worry if my hair is perfect or if my makeup is right, he likes me despite the looks and I appreciate that. I've told a few boys, including Griffin that I loved them, but looking back right now I realize I didn't really. The feeling I get when I'm with Brad can't be compared to anything I've ever felt before. I wish I haven't been so stupid, if I was smarter and not a foolish little girl, this could have been my first time, with the guy I really love. Freddie once told me you can't erase the past, but you can write a new future, and that's what I'm doing tonight.
I made sure Sam wouldn't be here either, but that was easy because since that little girl's funeral she's been around Freddie a lot. She knows that he was very attached to Sophie and that he's very sad she is gone, so Sam is trying to be supportive, well… as much as Sam can be. Alone in my apartment, I settle everything in its right place and waited for Brad to arrive. He thinks we're having dinner and watching a movie like any other date. What I like about him so much is, that sometimes he can be so naïve, which make him different from Griffin. I heard a knock on the door, and my heart went BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. It's time.
Taking a deep breath I opened it slowly, revealing my boyfriend dressed in casual clothes. Denim jeans, a blue sweater and sneakers.
"Hey baby" he said with a smile.
"Hey you" I leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss "come on in sweetie"
I tried to act as cool as I could, but on the inside I was freaking out. I'd only been intimate with one guy before, and even though I love Brad I couldn't help but be nervous. I smoothed my dress and sat on the couch, Brad followed suit, putting him arm around me.
"So? Whatcha wanna do today?" he asked casually.
"Oh… I made us dinner…" I gulped "you wanna… eat now?"
"You're nervous" he stated "why are you nervous?"
"Oh, you know… you never ate my food before…" I lied "and I'm afraid you'll not like it"
"Oh come on Carls, I love you, I will love your food" he chuckled.
"Alright then. Let's eat"
After dinner, I washed the dishes and Brad helped me dry them. I gave him a thousand glances from the corner of my eye, and he always caught me. By the time we ended cleaning up the kitchen he already knew something was up.
"Carly?" he called when we were in the couch watching a movie "what's wrong?"
"Wrong?" I gulped "nothing is wrong baby"
"Yes, there is something wrong. You're different, acting weird and you look nervous"
"Ah…" I paused.
"Tell me what's wrong" he cupped my chin and made me look at him.
"Brad…" I took a deep breath "let's go upstairs"
"You wanna show me something?"
"Yeah" I grabbed him by the collar of his sweater and pressed my lips against his.
I put all of me in this kiss. Everybody knows I can't be the most fatal and sexy girl in the world, but I managed to make him groan a couple of times during that kiss. Of course I'm not all oblivious to the seduction art, and Sam is a lot of help. She never been with many guys, and sexually she only had Freddie, but the girl is a natural, like she knows what she's doing and when she should do it. It's scary. After I pulled away Brad seemed a little dazed, like somebody hit him in the head, I smiled, feeling satisfied with my work.
"I love you" I said simply.
"I love you too Carly" now he was nervous.
"Let's go upstairs" I stood up and grabbed his hand.
He smiled and followed me to my room. Tonight I wanted to feel close to him, like I've never been to anyone, and I know he's going to make it so special.
… Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes. Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away…
Freddie's POV
I've been down. Lately, seems like everything around me is crumbling down, and when I manage to rebuild myself, something new comes right after, and falls over me again. I miss the times when everything was so simple, just school, iCarly and Sam beating my ass every day. Speaking of Sam, she is the best thing in my life right now. Since Sophie funeral, she's been so sweet to me, or as sweet as Sam can be. I don't really like to think about my recent problems, thinking about it makes it more real, and right now I'm in denial.
Sophie's death is a forbidden subject around me. I'm in denial, I don't want to think about it. She was doing so good, and I can't understand why any of this happened, seems like God is punishing me for something I did, by throwing all this shit on me. Honestly, I don't get it. I'm a good person, a good son and a good boyfriend, I really don't know why I deserve so much shit. If past life exists, like I believe, don't tell that to my mom, I guess I've been a bad person and now I'm paying for my sins.
Okay, okay, that was a little bit exaggerated, but I'm just so… surrounded by problems that I don't even know what to think. And don't even get me started on the Leonard subject. Solving things with him was easier than I thought it would be, but it doesn't mean I'm ready to have him in my life. The more I think about it, the more confused I get, and my mother is not helping. She's been nervous about my decision and I get it, it will affect all of us, but she keeps pushing me to make up my mind, and constantly asking me if I wanna talk.
UGH! I need a break!
After dinner, I decided that I needed to get out of the house. I called Sam and asked her to go to the park, walk a little and grab an ice cream, and of course she didn't say no, Sam never says no to any contents she might ingest. I picked her out on her house; Pam and Marvin are in Vegas for the rest of the week.
"So Fredcream…" she started "what's the deal?"
Its impressive how she can read me, she looks at me and she knows something is up. Oh this girl…
"Nothing" I said, in vain of course, I knew she would caught me in a lie.
Sam licked her ice cream and shifted in the bench. She looked up, gazing at the starry sky.
"You know I'm going to find out eventually. You're a terrible liar, we already established that, and I have people skill, mad skills. I'm going to get it out of you eventually Fredward and it's not going to be pretty, so why don't you save us the trouble and tell me once and for all?"
There is no point hiding anything from this girl. She knows something is up, so she'll chase me to the depths of hell and get it out of me. But I wasn't ready to let her win yet.
"Did you considered what we talked about earlier?" I asked.
"What we talked about earlier? You know mama doesn't have the best memory when it comes to words"
"About you finding your father…" she gave me a glared but I continued anyway "come on Sam, won't you curious? You have to be at least a little bit"
"Freddie, stop that okay? Just because you have daddy issues that need to be fixed, it doesn't mean I do too!" she shouted.
"Listen, I know that! I just thought that maybe…" I paused and sighed "sorry, I don't even know what I was thinking"
"It's fine" she licked the rest of her ice cream "I get it, you know? You have so much in your head right now, you wanna escape your problems, but you can't do that hiding behind mine"
"I guess you're right… sorry babe" I kissed the top of her head.
"Eh, it's fine" she finished her ice cream and got up "the night is beautiful. Let's go for a walk then we can go to my place. There's something I want to show you"
"Okay sweetheart" she grimaced and I laughed "sorry"
We walked for about twenty minutes around the park, holding hands and talking about constellations and space. Sam didn't understand anything about it, and I did my best to explain, but she got tired eventually and told me to shut up. Walking back to where I parked my car, I saw a big, beautiful tree with purple flowers. Can you believe it? Purple flowers in this time of year? It's not even spring! I had an idea. We got into the car and I started the engine.
Ten minutes later we were on Sam's house. I dropped my keys on the counter top, the same idea I had in the park still hanging around inside of my head. It would be a great surprise for Sam, and although I know she doesn't like romance, this will definitely be something she's enjoy. I hope.
"So? You wanted to show me something?" I said.
"Yeah, but first call your mother, tell her you're not going home tonight" she said, throwing her coat in the couch.
"Sam… she'll freak!"
"Then tell your dad" I got a little giddy every time someone says that "tell him I'm all alone here…" she started with an innocent voice "that mommy is not home and Sammy is afraid. She needs company"
"Okay… I can do that" I kissed her forehead and called home.
My mother was being less pushy and over-protective, but she still was Marissa Benson. Meaning; she would freak with the thought of me in Sam's house for the whole night. Mother still swears I'm a pretty little virgin, innocent boy. Oh well… I guess when I'm a father I will want to believe the same thing about my daughter. Took me half an hour to convince mom to let me stay, I must say dad was very helpful, as always. Wow, still a little awkward to say it, but in the good way.
"Pronto! I can stay…" I turned around and realized Sam wasn't here "Sam? Where are you?"
"Here Benson" she got out of the kitchen dressed in an orange sweat pants and a shirt with Chuck Norris' face on it.
"Hey… nice PJs" I chuckled.
"Oh… look in the back of it!" she turned her back to me.
In the back of her white shirt, it was written in big bold letters; Imma roundhouse kick ya sucka!
"Pretty" I laughed "very pretty!"
"I know right!" she smiled "anyway, while you were in the phone with mama Crazy, I made us some snacks, took a bath and changed… wow, she talks like hell"
"Okay" I tried to get into her room but she stepped in front of me "what now?"
"You can't walk in here like that" she shook her head.
"Like what?" I looked down.
"First, go take a shower" she pointed at the bathroom "there are clean towels there"
"So now I'm too dirty to walk into your room?" I crossed my arms.
"Not any other day"
"What's so special about today?"
"You'll see" she smirked "anyway… take a shower, there's a shirt there waiting for you. Don't put your pants though, just leave the boxers"
"Alright…" I trailed off suspicious.
"I grabbed a few of your bathroom stuff this morning while you were helping your mom with the dishes" she said matter-of-factly.
"You mean you stole my things?"
"Just a tooth brush, and your soap, mama loves that thing"
"Okay Sam… I'll do that" I pressed m lips against hers briefly and marched to the bathroom.
Just when you think you know Sam… she goes and steals hygenic utensils from your bathroom… Oh well. When I came back, Sam wasn't in the living room and the door of her bedroom was closed. I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face and knocked on the door.
(You guys should totally read this following scene listening to Paramore's The Only Exception)
"May I come in?"
"Sure thing Benson! But careful on your way in! Be gentle! Smooth!" she replied.
"Alright Sam" I just hope whatever she's planning doesn't involve me getting hurt in some way "I'm coming in!"
I opened the door and the first thing I saw was a bunch of blankets. Her whole room was covered in blankets, like a big tent. They were from different colors, some had figures, the rest were plain, but they covered the whole room.
"Sam?" I called.
"Hey dork!" her voice came from bellow me.
Sam was kneeling inside the blanket mess. She had the most beautiful smile on her face.
"What's all that?" I asked.
"Fort Puckett, and you're not invited, you're my prisoner!" she smirked deviously.
"What…?" I chuckled.
"A blanket fort, dweeb! Jeez, didn't have a childhood I see" she shook her head "poor little Fredward"
"A blanket fort? Won't you a bit too old for this?"
"Old? Who's old? You're old!" I slapped my shin "come down here and let me show you the awesomeness of my blanket fort!"
I chuckled, but kneeled and joined her into The Fort Puckett. Inside the mess of blankets, there were a lot of things, interesting things. At least ten or twelve pillows were holding the structure of the fort, and another six on the floor. I'm pretty sure she put up about three thick bedspreads on the floor to make it smooth enough for us to lie down comfortably. Sam took her time to decorate the thing too, with Christmas's lights and three table lamps because the room was dark. The stuffed cangaroo I gave her on our second date was there too, lying on the floor, smiling.
"So?" she asked.
"WOW! You did all that in half an hour?" I'm amazed!
"Mama is pretty useful when she wants to be dork" she smirked.
"You sure are Princess Puckett" I sat down next to her and kissed her forehead "this is amazing Sam"
"You need to relax a little Fredtense" she moved and sat behind me, leaning against the pillow "let mama help you out a little, okay?"
"Sure thing" I leaned against her, and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
"Now… movie" she grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
The medium size, flat screen, TV that Marvin gave to her, was also on the floor along with the DVD. Sam told me to turn off the table lamps, because the light from the TV would be enough to light up Fort Puckett.
"We're going to start with the original Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, then we'll see the better version, Tim Burton's fantastic Charlie and The Chocolate Factory!" she told me, kissing my neck sweetly.
"Alright!"
"Oh, and remember that you once told me we couldn't really watch The Chocolate Factory without candy?" I nodded "so I arranged that too" Sam uncovered a bunch of candy.
"Wow Sam!" I gaped… there's gotta be at least ten different types of candy in there "this is amazing"
"I know" she chuckled "and I'm even going to share with you tonight"
"Oh, that's news" I smiled and turned around so I could look at her "you're the best girlfriend in the world and I love you"
"You should Benson; you should love me a lot"
"I do… a lot!" I kissed her deeply, and sweetly.
"I know, you say that every day!" she rolled her eyes but smiled.
"You better get used to that pretty lady" I said with my fake southern accent.
"Alright Benson, enough with the crap, let's watch the movie and have a sugar overdose!"
We watched the two Chocolate Factory movies, ate all the candy we could manage and fell asleep to the sound of The Cure's MTV Unplugged. Boys Don't Cry gotta be one of my favorite songs of all times, and I'm pretty glad Sam and I dig the same kind of music. Speaking of Sam… man she's so amazing! She took the time to build a blanket fort just to make me a little happier, and she's been nothing but amazing these days, not too sweet, not too bitter, she's been both, in the right amount, which always pleased me more than anything. This girl… oh this girl. If she wanted to get my mind off the problems, then she succeeded. Is even possible for someone to be so imperfectly perfect?
Next morning I woke up earlier and went to the park work on my surprise. Sam was sleeping soundly when I came back two hours later. I made her breakfast and woke her up with a kiss. She ate it eagerly and we took a shower together. No, no fun time, just shower. I washed her hair and she washed my back. After that we changed and headed to the Bushwell Plaza. On our way there I stopped by the park, it's time to show her my surprise.
"Why are we here?" she asked, getting out of the car.
"I have a surprise for you Princess Puckett" I grabbed her hand and kissed it.
"Okay… I'm not a fan of surprises, but I guess I should be used to that by now" she shrugged.
"You're going to love this" I wasn't sure if she was going to love it, but it was worth a shot "come on"
"Alright" I lead her further into the park.
"Okay. Close your eyes" she groaned, but did what I asked.
"This better be good Benson"
"It will be" I let go of her hand and put her in front of the three "open it"
"Okay" she opened her eyes, visibly annoyed, but when she saw my surprise, those same eyes went wide "what?"
I spent two hours this morning engraving carefully on the tree. What we had was something solid, that would last forever, and I wanted the world to see it too. Took me a lot of work, but I managed to write Seddie with big, perfect shaped letters. (Props to Sarah Lee, I had to modify a little). I chose Seddie because it was the junction of me and her, Sam and Freddie were just... too far apart, I needed something that would unite us, making us one. No hearts, no, just a name. I knew Sam would freak if I'd put a heart in there. But I did add something bellow, 01.03.09.
"I know it's a little too much, and that you don't like romance… but I wanted to do it. I'm a big nub, I know that too, but I think of our love as something strong and beautiful, like this tree and I wanted to make it ours"
"Freddie…" she whispered, still looking at the tree "this is ridiculous"
My heart stopped. Of all things I expected her to say, this was not on the list. I felt stupid for even doing it, I know Sam is not the kind of girl who likes this sort of thing and I should've known better than to do that.
"I'm sorry… I don't know what I was thinking. If you want I can-"
"Ridiculously sweet. Maybe too sweet, but so cute" she said ignoring me "so… beautiful. This must've been hard to do"
"Well…" I looked down at my slightly bruised hands "a little"
"That must've take a lot of time" she turned to me, grabbing my hands in hers "and you hurt yourself"
"No big deal" I shrugged.
"01.03.09? Our first kiss?" she asked.
"Yes. That was when it all started, that's when we started to look at each other with other eyes. That kiss was the match that sparked our fire" she looked at me for a while without saying anything.
"Never before in my life, had I thought would someone do this for me. This is the sort of thing boys do to Carly, or girls like her, not me. And you keep doing all this stuff I never thought anyone would bother to do, and it's for me…" she looked down at her bracelet.
"Always for you Princess Puckett" I kissed both her hands.
She smiled widely and kissed me. The kiss was so very intense, it made me shiver. There was nothing sexual about that kiss, just feelings. Love.
"You rock Benson… not always, but I guess you're entitled to have your moments" she shrugged.
"Thank you Samantha" I chuckled.
She smiled and kissed me, so sweetly I could taste a bit of heaven. Sam is not the sweetest girl in the world, but I guess she has her moments too. And this is definitely one of those I will remember forever.
"This is awesome in a very sappy way" she said.
"I can live with that" I laughed and kissed the top of her head "let's get going then Princess Puckett, our tree is going to be there when we get back"
"It better be, because I really dig this chizz"
… Tried to break my heart, well it's broke. Tried to hang me high, well I'm choked.
Wanted rain on me, well I'm soaked, soaked to the skin…
Sam's POV
Freddie was sweet enough o wake up before me and made some breakfast. I was trying to cheer him up last night and apparently I succeeded, because he woke up in a great mood. First, he made mini pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, coffee and some orange juice. I gotta say the nub is not all bad in the oven, but his coffee is certainly the best thing he's done so far. The best coffee I've ever tasted, so… wow, amazing. Last night was so good, we had fun like we didn't in a while, just basic good fun like normal couples do. It might have taken me a little work to put up Fort Puckett together when he was talking on the phone with his mom, but I don't regret it. It made him happy and that is what I was going for.
After breakfast we hang out for a while in the fort, talked about stuff and made out a little. I didn't push him to talk about anything really, because I just really wanted to have fun with him. And then he blew me away by doing something incredibly ridiculously sweet. I know Freddie is a romantic sweet boy and he knows I'm not a romantic sweet girl, but somehow the cheesy things he does works for me. The boy does things that I never expected anyone to do, and that impresses me.
Romance never had room in my life, until Freddie came along. I guess I can say I'm not a romantic girl, or that I don't like it because I never experienced it. Boys have been afraid of me most of my life, the ones who didn't were jerks and the one who weren't jerks were gay. Well, I guess the dork is better than any other guy, because he's just naturally amazing, he doesn't have to force it. When he does, I confess it irritates me, but when he let it flows, just naturally, it kinda sweeps me off my feet, and that's a hard thing to do. Surprisingly I'm not scared of that anymore.
And he was bold enough to do stuff he's not sure I'm going to like. He can't guess what my reaction will be, but he does it anyway. January 3, 2009, our first kiss. He said it was the match that sparked our fire, and that was exactly when I started to have feelings for him. I guess things must've changed for him too that night.
Life was good.
"I gotta let my mother know I'm alive, but you go ahead and eat all of the contents of Carly's fridge" he told me.
"Okay" I tiptoed and kissed him "you go ahead and let mama Benson know I didn't eat you up alive… although I really wanted to"
"Alright Princess" he kissed my forehead and walked into his apartment. I smiled and walked into Carly's "Carlotta?"
I made a beeline for the fridge, like always and called her again. Soon enough I had reach the ham and the creamy cheese. Mama is happy.
"Carle? You're home?" I turned the TV on and sat on the couch "guess not"
Girly Cow was on, and I was impressed at how many times I've turned on this TV and this saw this thing. It's like a never ending show. I shook my head and changed the channels.
"Oh! The Fairly Oddparents!" no one is home, so they won't catch me watching Timmy Turner and his pink shirt.
I was just bursting into laughing when Carly stormed downstairs wearing nothing but an oversized masculine sweater. Her hair was all messed up and her skin was sweaty and glowing. She saw me and her eyes went wide.
"Hey… I didn't know you were here…" she said gingerly "so…? How long you've been here?"
"Not long" I turned off the TV before she could see what I was watching.
"Okay…"
"So…" I looked at her, all of her, and then it suddenly hit me "you did sweet love with Justin Bieber look alike?"
"Sam!" she flushed.
"I take this as a yes" I grinned "so? Was it good?"
"I don't feel comfortable talking about this"
"Oh come on! I'm your best friend! Tell me!" I asked her but she shook her head "come on it can't be that hard! Listen to how I do it. Oh my god, I had sex with Freddie and it was awesome! He's so good, and dreamy. He was so amazing, really good in the sack!"
"Sam!" she protested "oh my god… this is so embarrassing!"
"Come on Carly! Tell me! Tell me, tell me! Please!" I pouted.
"Alright… he is amazing. So sweet, and damn it Sam, at the end, there was this thing… a feeling so powerful and amazing…" she breathed "oh my god…"
"It's called an orgasm Carly, and you never had one before?"
"No…" her face was bright red now "with Griffin… I didn't feel that, it was all pretty quick"
"WOW! So he's lame in the sack. Huh… at least Brad wasn't right?" she nodded and smiled "Man, I'm a lucky girl. I mean Freddie is so awesome, it's like he was born for this"
"Good for you" Carly looked up "so… you're going to stay here?"
"I was thinki-" the realization hit me in the head "oh my god, he's still there!" I laughed.
"Shhh! Be quiet!" she hissed.
"Alright Shay, I'm sorry" I chuckled "I'm going to go now… and leave you and Brad alone… have fun" I smirked.
"Oh my god! This is so embarrassing" I heard her say when I walked out of the apartment.
I made a beeline to Freddie's room, opening the door of his apartment, and greeting Gun Smoke, who was on his way out. Freddie was just finishing changing his shirt, and I caught a sight of those delicious abs.
"Hey babe" he said sweetly.
"Hey you" I sat on his bed "what's the agenda for today?"
"I had a brilliant idea" he said with an eager smile of his face.
"Do tell"
"You keep saying I'm trying to escape my problems, by occupying my head with yours right?" I nodded "so, I found a better way to run away from my problems"
"Share with me Benson"
"We're going away for a little trip" his smiled grew wider "runaway… literally"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm tired of being here. My mother keeps pushing me to make a decision about Leonard, I'm constantly thinking about Sophie and what went wrong… I'm just tired of it all Sam. I need a break from this"
"Yeah, but how does running away will solve those problems?"
"It will take my mind out of it. It's something I never did before, something crazy… something new. Pure adrenaline!" he sounded like a eager little boy "it's going to be for at least a week, the last week of summer"
"Benson… you forget your mother can find you anywhere in the world? You do have a chip inside your nerdy brain"
"Yeah I do, but when I fell and hit my head after the accident at The Arcade, the chip stopped working"
"Oh…" I didn't like to be reminded of that awful day "so? Where do you suggest we go?"
"San Francisco. I heard they have great food there, the sight is amazing and I always wanted to drive across the Golden Gate Bridge"
"You had me in the good food part" he smiled "so when are we leaving?"
"Today… in fact, I'm already packed! So now we have to go to your house and pack!" he paused "oh, take a bikini with you, because we'll be going to the beach!"
"Okay"
"Oh, the blue bikini! You know how much I love it" he smirked.
"Good memories" I mused.
"Yeah… good memories" he mused "but we can create new ones with it"
"Totally!" I jumped off the bed and kissed him eagerly "this will be fun. Wanna write mommy a goodbye letter?"
"Already did Puckett" he said cockily.
"You're pathological Benson" I chuckled when he frowned.
"You have no room to talk about me. You're crazy!" he followed me out of the room.
"You're stupid! Why are you so stupid?" I smiled, closing the apartment door behind me.
"I'm stupid? You're a maniac Sam, honestly I don't know how I can put up with you!" he snickered pressing the elevator button.
"Because no other girl will be willing to have sex with your nubish ass!" I laughed and he joined me ignoring Lewbert's screams "I don't know how I can put up with your ugly face!"
"Ugly face? Please, you love my face! And besides, you know I can do stuff to you no other guy can" he smirked making a beeline to the parking lot.
"Yeah, I'm keeping you because you're good in the sack" I shrugged, getting into the car.
"So do you" he started the engine "please be quick when you pack. We have a thirteen hour's drive ahead of us!"
"Let's get going then" he drove off to my place.
This has the potential to be a train wreck, but I'm not sure if I care. Marissa will sure freak out and call the cops, before she'll faint of course, but honestly, I like seeing this side of Freddie. Bold, fearless… sexy. We still have a week before classes start and I want to spend every minute of it with him. I went home and packed quickly, just the basic stuff and that bikini he loved so much. We drove off after I made him buy me a bag of fatcakes, a bucket of fried chicken and a smoothie.
"You think I'm making the right decision? By running away?" he asked quietly a few minutes after we hit the road.
"A wise man once told me… that you can't run away from your problems. Do you know what I told him?"
"No"
"Shut up Benson!" I smiled and he laughed "simple"
"You're crazy though, you know that right?" he asked.
"And you love me, which makes you crazy as well" I stated, turning on the stereo.
"So, I guess we're both insane" he grabbed my hand and kissed it. I turned up the volume, making his speakers vibrate. He smiled, knowing how much I liked Flo Rida's Good Felling.
Oh sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah. I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no, no. I get a good feeling, yeah. Just like that we drove off, on our way to California
~FIN~
(For now at least)
… It's the end where I begin.
It's the end where I begin…
(The Script – The End Where I begin)
Hey guys, this is the sneak peek of my new fic called Awake. Like I said before it's a drama, here's the summary: Sam and Freddie thought they were forcing a connection that wasn't there, however three weeks after the break up an accident will show them how mistaken they were.
Chapter one – Hurts Like Heaven
It was mutual. He kept telling himself. It was mutual. They both wanted this, because it was better this way. So why it sucks so much? Freddie Benson had been brokenhearted before, but that was nothing that would compare to how he was feeling at that moment. A part of him knew, when Sam stopped the elevator, everything was about to go down. And he wasn't wrong. At that moment, what Carly said had made so much sense, but afterwards he couldn't think why it did.
Sure, they were way too different, but was that enough to keep them apart? He didn't know. The truth was, since the moment they decided to end things, he's been regretting every second of it. As soon as he saw her walking out of the elevator, he feared that was it for them, even though, they said someday, Freddie feared that someday would never come. So he had to tell her how he felt, he couldn't move on without letting her know what was in his heart.
So he did it. He said the L word and he never regretted it. The feeling that took over him as the words came out of his mouth was inexplicably. Nothing ever felt that way before, saying I love you to someone never meant so much before. In his life, Freddie Benson had said I love you many times. To his mother, father, Carly… but the only time he meant it with every ounce of his soul, was when he said it to Sam Puckett.
His tormentor, the bane of his existence… the love of his life. Most people spend a lifetime without feeling what he felt for Sam, and he was deeply sorry for those people. Because what he felt was so strong, and so complete and he knew nothing would ever compare. It was even better when she said it back. She loved him back. And the moment the words escaped her mouth, he wondered so why are we breaking up? Oh right, because we're not ready yet. Or are we? Hard to tell…
…"Am I going to be your personal punching bag again?" he asked with a smile, opening the door of Carly's room for her.
"Nah… I guess Gibby is easier to beat, and better to humiliate. I'll stick with the verbal attack though"
"Fine by me" he shrugged and smiled.
The truth was, she knew touching him would be a dangerous deal. Whenever they touch or brushed against each other, she would get goose bumps, and that wasn't something she was ready to let it happen again. Not for a while at least. They were convinced the connection they shared was forced, little did they know some people would give everything to share with someone what they shared. It was a lifetime love, they just had to be ready to see it. And when they did, it would be amazing indeed…
Let me clarify things to you guys. Awake it's a about a car crash that happens on second chapter. This crash will change the lives of Sam and Freddie and connect them in a way they never thought it was possible. It's a drama, so for those of you who don't like it, well, I don't recommend it. I've been known for writing intense drama, so you know what to expect. Also I added a little bit of romance and humor. I hope you all like it! I'll be updating tomorrow probably, so go there and check it out!