This is the first fic we're writing for the Genshin fandom, so hopefully, it comes out alright. Feel free to give feedback on the story, this one's gonna be a long one.

Updates are scheduled for Saturday every week unless stated otherwise. Crossposted to AO3

Chapter One

Kaeya clutched the pyro vision tightly, watching it glow faintly in the dim light of Diluc- no, his office. It was such a simple, small thing, but this vision- not even his own- meant more to him than he could put into words. Or… even justify to himself. It was the last thing he had of a family, that had so graciously taken him in, had fed and clothed and cared for him like he wasn't a traitor, a filthy sinner they should have left to die. His throat tightened at the thought of Diluc's hatred. He deserved it, really. He was a spy and a traitor and dangerous, could hurt Mondstadt in an instant if he wanted to, and Diluc had every right to hate him for it.

He just didn't want him to.

It was selfish, to not want Diluc to hate him. He knew that. His brother (was he even allowed to call him that?) had every reason to hate him, to kill him. And he tried to, would have succeeded if fate didn't insist on playing cruel jokes. Even the vision that saved his life was a mockery. He wanted so badly to be like Diluc. To be warm and protective and love so fiercely. His vision, abandoned as it was, reflected that. Pyro was warm and used to be safe and was meant to protect, bring life and prosperity with glowing embers and bright smiles. Kaeya's vision was none of those things. Kaeya was none of those things. Kaeya's vision was cold, dark, unforgiving. It was a creeping death that only destroyed, only took and took and took until there was nothing left. And where Diluc's vision had the tell-tale three wings adorning it, symbolizing his connection to Mondstadt, Kaeya's wings were clipped. He only had two. He wasn't part of the city that raised him. Because why would he be? He was destined to betray them, one way or another. Even if he didn't want to. Even if he desperately loved Mondstadt, her people, the life he'd let come crashing down around him in a single night.

The young knight squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the flash of fire that raged in his mind for a moment. The vision was suddenly unbearably hot in his hands. He dropped it in a hidden drawer, out of sight and out of mind (was it really though?), where it couldn't burn him all over again. It was enough to know Diluc was still alive, somewhere. Maybe not faring the best, but so long as his vision glowed it was fine. He returned to his paperwork.

Turns out there was a lot of paperwork involved when you were a captain, who knew? Diluc made it look so easy, so effortless when he was in this position- he needed to stop thinking about Diluc. Back to the report. What was it about again? Something like hilichurls getting too close in the east… he'd have to get that dealt with. All it'd take is a few swings of a claymore from Diluc, a burst of pyro, and then he could clean it up- Kaeya stopped, burying his face in his hands. No, Diluc wasn't here. They weren't a team anymore, would never clear out camps or domains together probably ever and he needed to stop thinking about it.

Right. The paperwork. Kaeya tried focusing on it again, at least this time his mind didn't wander back to thoughts of Diluc, but… the sound of static buzzing in his brain wasn't exactly conducive to productivity either. He couldn't focus on the words long enough to string them into coherent sentences, which okay. That probably wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe this was the real reason his brother had left Mondstadt. Paperwork was the true villain, it seemed.

Kaeya chuckled at his own joke, almost able to fool himself into thinking it was right about it. But no, if that were the case Diluc wouldn't have left without him, wouldn't have practically disowned him. Wouldn't have tried to kill him.

He sighed heavily, setting the report aside for another time. It was something that could be handled tomorrow when he could think clearly again. Besides, there were more pressing things for him to focus on. Things that could eat his time without letting his mind wander all over the place.

There were dark patches in and around Mondstadt, shadows no one could see or were willing to acknowledge. Once, he was like that too, but Kaeya could see them, and he knew what dangers lurked inside. He knew he couldn't ignore them anymore either; there was nowhere left to run. It wouldn't do to let things like that fester and grow anyhow, the problems had to be dealt with swiftly and efficiently, and they were no place to get caught in bureaucracy. Which meant it fell to him to deal with personally. He may not be able to do it the way Diluc did, proudly standing in the light, but having a soul tainted with darkness came with its advantages. He already knew how to earn people's trust, undeserving as it was, the next step was simply establishing a network. Information was valuable, having a steady flow of it from all across Mondstadt- maybe even Teyvat one day, if he played his cards right- would be a resource that was unlikely to let him down. Even in the worst-case scenario.

He shouldn't be thinking about that. Dwelling on what may or may not happen in the future, while knowing so very little about it would only send him spiraling, he knew that much at least. It was just… difficult, sitting in this office. It wasn't his- never his, because this was supposed to be his brother's office, his title, his life, and Kaeya had robbed him of it all. Another laugh tore out of his throat, humorless and desperate. If he didn't laugh about it he was going to cry and that was worse.

Kaeya buried his face in his hands, desperately trying to get ahold of himself, to stop the sobs that bubbled inside him and spilled out uncontrollably. He was a captain, he had responsibilities, he wasn't supposed to be this weak and yet he couldn't stop crying. He couldn't even breathe, not with all his pain and sorrow trying to choke him. Not when the world seemed so, so cold without his brother- the brother he never deserved in the first place. He needed to stop, needed to control himself, but there was nothing he could do and no one who could help him. If they knew what he was they wouldn't want to anyway. Because monsters don't deserve kindness or patience or mercy, they deserve to be killed.

Another sob tore from his throat and Kaeya couldn't take it anymore. He needed to see that vision again, one more time, even if it hurt, even if it burned him down to his bones. He had to see it. He tore that drawer back open, snatching the vision out and holding it close, studying the pyro symbol on it, and finally, finally starting to breathe again. The tears still came, but that was okay, for now. As long as no one else came it'd be alright.

Kaeya stayed in that office for… he wasn't sure how long it'd been since he curled up on the couch, cradling Diluc's vision like it would break apart in his hands if he wasn't careful. But when he finally came back to himself it was dark outside.

He didn't want to move. He didn't want to, but he had to.

Very slowly, he extracted himself from the couch corner he'd squeezed himself into, wincing as his muscles protested the movement. He looked at the vision he was holding again, it pulsed the same orange-red it had since it first materialized all those years ago. Diluc was okay. That's what mattered. It took him a bit, but eventually, he made it to his desk and dropped the vision back in its drawer.

Kaeya sat down again, sighing heavily and rubbing a hand down his face. Why was today so hard? There was no reason for it, it should have been completely unremarkable. Then, before he could get lost in his own thoughts again, a knock sounded at the door. He looked up, surprised for a moment before trying to wipe away any lingering tears and hoping his eyes weren't too red, then cleared his throat, "Ah, come in."

He wasn't sure who he was expecting. Jean was the only person he could visualize checking on him, but then she was constantly swamped with work. Of course, when the door swung open he saw the last person he'd expected to see here. It was the alchemist Albedo. Kaeya blinked. Albedo didn't move.

There was a long pause before either spoke and it was Kaeya who found his voice first. "What brings you here, Albedo," he asked softly. Despite his best efforts his voice still came out wet and watery, clear evidence that he'd been crying not five minutes prior. He hoped Albedo didn't notice, but it was unlikely. The alchemist was too perceptive not to.

Either way, it didn't matter, the other Khaenri'ahn didn't comment on it. "I saw you were working late, I thought you could use the company."

Confusion lit Kaeya's eyes for a moment. It was a genuine enough statement, no hint of ill-intent or even pity in his voice, but that didn't help identify a motive beyond not being strictly malicious. The two of them had an unspoken agreement; Kaeya knew what the star on Albedo's throat meant and he had no doubt the alchemist connected the dots with his own eye in turn. They never spoke about it, but they were aware of each other. There was a careful balance to their relationship, if it could even be called that. If one of them was revealed then so was the other and they'd both be condemned. So they danced around each other, never interacting on anything more than a professional basis and no more than strictly necessary. At least, that's what Kaeya had thought, but it appeared Albedo had different ideas.

Finally, he found the words to respond, silently willing his voice to smooth out to its normal tone, "...It's fine. I appreciate the offer, but I was just about to head out. Please, by all means, don't pause your work on my behalf."

"Then allow me to accompany you," Albedo insisted, much to Kaeya's annoyance, "you were clearly in distress earlier. I would be remiss in my duties as a fellow knight if I allowed you to walk home alone and something happened." Clearly, the alchemist was more stubborn than Kaeya expected him to be.

Stars, why couldn't they just go back to the previous arrangement? He'd liked it better. Resisting the urge to sigh he replied, "No no, really it's fine. I'm a captain now, surely I can handle a walk through Mondstadt of all places." Please, oh please let it go. He wasn't sure if he could handle a battle of wills at the moment.

Albedo did not, in fact, let it go. Instead, he replied evenly, factually, "You were- or are may be the better phrasing- in distress, yes? If that's the case then even a captain could reasonably be caught off guard and if I were to let you go alone, as you are now, I would be responsible for not taking preventive measures to assist in keeping an important member of the knights safe. Please, I insist. It is no trouble at all."

This time Kaeya did sigh. He really wasn't shaking Albedo, it seemed. The alchemist wasn't about to take no for an answer and Kaeya was too emotionally drained to argue about it any longer. If he did he'd just end up crying more and prove him correct. He waved his hand, signaling he'd given up, "Fine, okay. You may accompany me if you wish, but I promise you nothing will happen, as nothing has or ever will." At the same time, he stood up, organizing the last handful of documents to sit neatly on the side of his desk. Those were for the morning, future Kaeya's problem.

Albedo didn't say a word in response, simply nodded and waited for him to finish what he was doing. As a last-minute decision, he grabbed Diluc's vision out of its drawer and put it in a pocket. He just couldn't bear to be so far away from it, not after today. Hopefully, his company hadn't seen, but he wasn't too sure he cared right now. Albedo didn't seem to comment on much. After that, he locked up the office and started the trek home.

It was a one-time thing, anyway. Not like this would become a habit. Kaeya would get over the whole crying thing and everything would go back to normal.