Author: gatekat and starshield on LJ
Pairing: Jazz/Prowl, Prowl/Soundwave
Rating: NC-17 mech/mech
Codes: Crossover, Slash, Death, Bonding, Sticky
Summary:
Disclaimer: The authors are only playing with their own twisted muses. Transformers belong to Hasbro. Fandom-side, check the inspirations page (gatekat-fics ./290 .html ) We draw from a ton of amazing stories and authors you should read.
Notes: klik = 1 minute; breem = 8.3 minutes; joor = 6.3 hours; orn = day/32 joor; metacycle = 6 (5.9285) years; vorn = 83 years/14 metacycles
~text~ bond/hardline talk
::text:: comm chatter
At All Costs 32: The Price of Deceit
He held it together until the door closed behind him, lock engaging automatically.
Only then did he break.
Frame shaking and sensor wings held tight against a pain that was internal and no amount of armor could shield him from, Prowl's optics went dark as his processor was finally allowed to focus on the pain in his spark. Soundwave was gone, fallen in battle. Preliminary reports only, but all of the evidence overwhelming short of a greyed frame.
The cheers of celebration still echoed in Prowl's processor, the rejoicing of his fellow Autobots at the news that the Decepticon third was gone and no longer a threat to them.
A soft keen of pain escaped Prowl as he sank to his knees, shattered hopes, dreams and lost love in his spark playing endlessly in a loop. A loop he couldn't escape. Soundwave was gone, the symbiots most likely scattered if they had survived his fall. Their carefully laid plans were finished, dependant on the host for success and now pointless with his loss.
Oblivious to the outside world, Prowl mourned his loss in private.
He was unaware of how long had passed before a familiar mind brushed against his processors.
~Prowl? I heard, love. I'm so sorry.~
There were no words in the response, only sparkbreak and sorrow and a desperate need from Prowl for something to ease the pain and self-loathing flowing through him.
Jazz responded with all the love, understanding, belief in Prowl and their cause that he had in him, wordlessly wrapping Prowl in a mental blanket of comfort and support.
The Praxian's entire frame began to shake as he started to focus outside of his own pain again, reaching out blindly for Jazz, for something physical to anchor himself with and quickly found that Jazz was already holding him, their frames pressed close together and on the berth. He didn't think he'd reached the berth. He didn't care. Jazz was there, warm, very real and offering Prowl all the support he could.
~Gone.~ Prowl whimpered softly, pulling Jazz against him. ~Because of me. My plan, my call.~
~I'm so sorry, love,~ Jazz held him tighter. Even though he didn't share Prowl's grief at Soundwave's end, he opened himself up fully to Prowl's pain, embracing it as his own in an effort to comfort the mech he loved. ~I'm so sorry.~
Failure. Despair. Fear.
Failure. Prowl sinking again into himself, falling as his processor lingered on what he had done, the mechs on his own side that he had saved when he made the call not even enough to make it right in his mind.
The empty place in his spark now, a place that before had always been filled with hope dying and dark. ~In the Well...~
~Hey, hey, come back,~ Jazz's voice grew desperate. ~Please, Prowl. I love you too. I want you. I love you. Don't join him yet. Please babe. Stay with me.~
Slow recognition of the desperate plea, and the mech voicing it. ~Jazz.~
~I'm here, babe,~ Jazz's relief was palatable. ~I'm here. Not going anywhere either. I know it hurts, but you aren't alone.~
A soft keen, vocal expression of the pain still burning in his spark as Prowl reached out. ~Don't go.~
~I'm here, babe,~ Jazz promised, holding him tightly. ~I'm not going anywhere.~
The pain was still there, deep self hatred and the despair, but the fear was fading, that at least relieved by the nearness and promises of the smaller mech. The love was finally accepted, as much of an anchor in reality for Prowl as the physical grip he had on the mech holding him.
Golden optics flickered, focusing weakly but offering more proof to the trembling Praxian that this was real.
~I'm here, Prowl,~ Jazz repeated, a gentle litany for his lover's mind just as his grip was grounding for his lover's frame. ~Recharge, babe,~ he suggested gently. ~I'll be here when you cycle up.~ he promised.
Exhaustion was the deciding factor, the one that finally pushed Prowl into giving into his lover, finally managing a thread of sincere thanks and acknowledgment of his lover being there, with him as his systems cycled down without his consent.
~Love you,~ was the last thought to drift from Prowl and was warmly returned as Jazz settled in for a long watch on light recharge so he could be fully aware the moment Prowl began to cycle up. In a shielded part of his processor he pinged Ratchet, Black Echo and Prime with the basics and that they would need a few orns off.
The rise to conscious functioning was a slow one, Prowl's systems sluggish to the point that a small part of his processor was disturbed and instantly searching for a reason as soon as enough critical functions had been scanned.
Reason enough that a soft whimper of fresh pain escaped him before the rest of his secondary systems came online.
A mind, warm, encouraging and supportive was right there for him as soon as he could notice the additional systems.
~Hey babe,~ Jazz said gently.
~Jazz.~ Prowl sighed, optics coming online and focusing on the smaller mech, coherent even if they were still dim with internal pain. After a moment he tried moving, finding it more of a struggle than it should have been.
~How long?~
~Six joor,~ Jazz murmured. ~You were out a long time. Think you can drink some energon?~
~Need it.~ Prowl admitted, though a small part of his processor wanted to refuse. A small part that just wanted to go back into recharge and not cycle back up again, and bring an end to the pain.
A small part that was only denied by the mech before him, holding a glowing cube of energon and watching him so carefully.
~I know, babe,~ Jazz said gently as he brought the cube to Prowl's mouth. ~I know you want to do anything but keep going. It'll always hurt, but there's still reason to function. You just have to trust me that eventually it won't hurt this bad.~
Quiet fell as Prowl took the energon, eventually reaching for the cube and arranging things so that he was holding Jazz against him as he finished the rest.
~I trust you.~ He stated quietly. ~Love you. Sorry.~
~Shu, no need to apologize to me,~ Jazz said gently as he dissipated the cube, then wrapped both arms around Prowl, holding him tightly. ~I've never lost a lover, but I've lost ... I've lost things before, things I'll grieve until Primus puts my spark back together. Times I was desperate to power down and extinguish, or throw myself into something I knew I couldn't handle. I've been where you are. You've seen where you can go.~
The Praxian held him, trembling again from the fresh waves of pain but at least conscious and coherent this time. Soundwave had been more than a lover to him, they had been family. Or at least the closest thing that Prowl had ever had.
Family that he had wanted the mech he held now to be a part of, someday, if Jazz would agree. And the strongest thing that was keeping him here at all.
~I have agreed,~ Jazz murmured, stroking Prowl's back and sensor wings in an effort to comfort him. ~When I offered my spark, I knew Soundwave and his symbiots were part of the deal. If any of the symbiots survived ... I know a host who would take them in, if we can find them.~
Gratitude, thanks, and the first small flickers of hope again in Prowl as everything Jazz had said sank into his processor.
And love for Jazz that only grew clearer, anchoring Prowl just a little a more in the here and now.
~That's my Prowl,~ Jazz smiled warmly with a rush of love and support. ~Don't hide from the pain, but you've got so much to keep functioning for. Try to think, where would they go if they lost him?~
~If they could? To me, or if they couldn't find me maybe to Ratchet or the Prime. Someone who wouldn't shoot them on sight.~ Prowl answered after a moments consideration, arranging Jazz more comfortably against him as he cautiously started using the computers that dropped him into the loop.
~Probably a safe bet they know where you are, and Ratchet and Prime are easy for anybody in Intel to find,~ Jazz murmured thoughtfully. ~If they couldn't? What Con base would they go to?~
Information and stored data, the latest intel that Prowl had and none of it guaranteed 100% accurate after even the short time that he had been away, but enough to give Prowl some answers. ~Provided nothing has changed...~ He listed three 'Con bases in order of probability.
~And that would only be if they were able to find the few who view them as more than smart drones.~ He added quietly, recalling the image the symbiots liked to maintain among the Decepticons.
~Is there a message someone could give them, something that would tell them that you sent the messenger enough to trust them?~ Jazz easily slid into mission planning mode, no longer that concerned whether Prowl worked out what he was. ~I have friends and mechs who owe me favors or would love to be owed a favor, that can search those bases.~
For a while Prowl thought, remembering, considering. If there was any chance to save any of them, with Soundwave gone, it was worth the risk.
Finally he vented softly, optics focusing again. ~If it is possible, this might get them to come.~
Jazz nodded, filed the memory away with a bit of surprise, and began to make calls from a shielded part of his processor. ~It's set in motion, babe,~ he promised. ~News should come back in an orn or two.~
~Thank you.~ Prowl held him tighter, too tired even after recharge and energon to wonder at how Jazz was able to do that and just satisfied with the idea that something positive had been into motion.
~Recharge, my love,~ Jazz encouraged him. ~I will be here for you.~
~Love you.~ Prowl murmured in what was becoming almost a ritual as he slipped into recharge.
As Prowl slipped into light recharge, then deeper, Jazz shifted more and more of his processor power behind the partition blacking Prowl's awareness of his actions. He had a lot to arrange, including making sure that Blaster really would adopt any of the symbiots, and making sure that Soundwave really had extinguished. It wouldn't be the first premature report of a death, and they had yet to find the empty frame.
By the time Prowl began to power up again, Jazz had slipped into light recharge himself, though not so far down that he wasn't fully aware before Prowl was.
~Hey lover. How're ya feeling?~
~Still hurts.~ Prowl confessed, nuzzling Jazz gently. ~But better.~
Slowly Prowl allowed what he could remember of the past few orns to come back, trying to establish how long he had been practically non functional.
~Forty joors,~ Jazz supplied, nuzzling him in return. ~Glad you're feeling a little better.~
Prowl flinched, his sense of duty finally finding it's way to the surface again. ~Need to get back to work.~
~Not until you've recovered,~ Jazz objected. ~I'll get Ratchet involved if I need to.~
~Recovered?~ Prowl repeated softly, sure that he would never really recover from this. ~And when will that be?~
~When I can be away for my shift and you're okay,~ Jazz said firmly. ~Or at least until Ratchet and I are convinced you won't break down when left alone for a couple joors.~
~I am not alone when I am working.~ Prowl pointed out, though he really wasn't fighting too hard at the moment, his obvious relief at having Jazz there in his arms clear between them.
~No, you aren't,~ Jazz consented. ~But you aren't with anyone either. It's much better for you to stay off duty until you're sure you can make it than have issues again. Ratchet's overheated processor issue will only fly so many times.~
Prowl hummed in agreement, giving into the point as he held Jazz. ~Maybe I can find something to do with you here, for a while?~ It was hopeful, and Prowl would admit, an escape from the pain.
But at least he would be doing something besides sitting there trying to avoid the pain eating at him.
~Anything, babe,~ Jazz purred. ~Interface, design a sparkling, read, a game, detail each other?~
Amusement, weak but there, as Prowl leaned his helm against Jazz's. ~I was thinking some sort of work I could do, but...~ He stretched a sensor wing cautiously, thinking how good it would feel to have them clean again, done by someone who could reach easier than he could.
~We could both use a good detailing,~ Jazz smiled and leaned in to kiss him. ~And it does feel good.~
~Please?~ Prowl asked softly, offering as well to work on his lover.
~Anytime, Prowler,~ Jazz cooed. ~Anytime at all,~ he nudged Prowl to move so they could get to the private washrack. Reluctantly they unplugged from each other, leaning closer to make up for the loss.
Cycling up again, Prowl reached out for Jazz, a habit for him any more. Even just touching the mind of his lover in recharge was enough to settle him as he cycled up.
Only this time as he reached out all he found was emptiness, a gap in the place that Jazz usually occupied. Panic protocols that had not been utilized in vorns kicked in, bringing Prowl fully online to an empty berth and a leading to the Praxian rising to search their quarters.
With no sign of Jazz anywhere in their quarters and no messages waiting for him Prowl opened a comm line directed to the silver mech. ::Jazz?::
::Frag, I'm sorry babe,:: the response was immediate. ::Ratchet wanted a report. I didn't think you'd be up yet.::
::Just as long as you're all right.:: Prowl answered, relieved and trying to hide just how badly shaken he was. ::I will wait for you to get back then.::
::Be there ASAP, love,:: Jazz promised before closing the line.
Prowl tried to settle, tried to find something to focus on, and failed. He paced restlessly, shaking and starting to fall into a loop even though he was in motion. Nanokliks seemed to pass as kliks, kliks became joors ... by the time three breems had passed and the door slid open with a soft hiss Prowl was only just hanging on to not panicking.
"Prowl?" Jazz's voice was concerned, his hands focused but gentle as Prowl was guided to their berth. "You with me, babe?"
Prowl nodded, pulling Jazz against him as soon as they were settled, still shaking. "Couldn't feel you when I cycled up. Couldn't find you. Panicked."
Apology was thick in Prowl's field, but also evident was the deep fear he had felt.
Jazz wove his field into Prowl's easily and completely, trying to sooth him as he got them arranged on the berth so they were holding each other. "I'm sorry, lover," he murmured as he offered a hardline cable.
The offer was quickly accepted, the Praxian calming now that Jazz was back with him. "Not your fault. My fault. I should be able to at least cycle up." Prowl sighed, shame replacing the fading panic.
~Shu. I know, babe. I know,~ Jazz cooed soothingly. ~It'll get better in time. I promise. It'll get better.~
Mostly under control again Prowl nuzzled at Jazz, reassuring himself again that the smaller mech was there. ~I did not interrupt your meeting with Ratchet too badly?~
~Not at all,~ Jazz smiled and kissed the crest of his chevron. ~I'm used to multi-tasking. It definitely delayed any ideas of returning to work though,~ he apologized.
Prowl sighed, processor starting to work on a side thought. ~How much longer?
~Educated guess? Anther three orns, at least.~ Jazz said gently. ~Maybe as long as a decaorn.~
~How much longer is Ratchet going to be able to make excuses for me?~
~As long as it's needed,~ Jazz said firmly.
A flicker of relief, even though Prowl didn't believe Ratchet could make excuses that long. Nor could they afford for both of them to be tied up that long.
~Remember, love, Black Echo and Prime both know too,~ Jazz tried to reassure him. ~Even if your coworkers question the absence length, no one needs to be convinced of a lie.~
Acceptance of that fact as Prowl's hands started roaming over Jazz's plating, always returning the silver mechs chest to caress the area over his spark. It was more than enough to trigger arousal in Jazz and turn his touches from comforting to sensual.
Prowl's head dropped forward, resting against Jazz's. ~Do you remember what you asked me, the offer you made? Do you still want that peace?~
Jazz shivered, his systems going into overdrive. Oh yes, he remembered. He wanted it very, very much.
~There are a few things I need to tell you before you accept that offer,~ Jazz said, absolutely dreading this but no longer willing to bond to an unaware Prowl.
~Listening.~ Prowl prompted gently.
Jazz drew in a deep breath through his vents and steeled himself before he began to drop firewalls Prowl hadn't even been aware existed. ~I've been an Ops agents since before Megatron, and I do it all.~
Silence as Prowl listened, processed, inspected the information and finally nudged gently at Jazz, sighing. ~And?~
~And I can sorcel,~ Jazz murmured, showing Prowl his primary alternate forms. Top Notch and Korrës were quick to be recognized. Others came only with a reflexive database check on the designations given. Quicksilver, Prata Aave, Na Tien, Slitherquick.
Then one that made Jazz tremble.
A short black, white and gold Praxian with three sensor wing segments and a deep purple visor was presented to Prowl with the designation of Meister.
Several of the designations cleared up mysteries that had been nagging at the Praxian over the vorns since he had first encountered them, bringing questions to the surface. Questions pushed aside for the time being with the revelation of the last form.
Surprise, understanding, and an edge of amusement at Prowl's own expense.
~And all this time you let me believe you needed my protection.~
Jazz smiled shakily. ~It's part of the Jazz profile. He does, kinda. Most of my combat training is locked in other profiles. Korrës is the best of them, though Top Notch is better at brawling and general mayhem. Prata Aave and Meister are both assassins more than warriors.~
~So how do you remember who you are?~ Prowl asked quietly.
~It's an Ops thing. The profiles really are separate. It takes a soft reboot to bring a new one up. Some aren't even aware of the others, or all the others. I know, Jazz knows, because he was the first. This frame really was sparked a pleasurebot designation Jazz. Black Echo just found me and took me in earlier than I let on, and for a lot more than I want to think about.~
Prowl kissed him, still trying to work out how all of it worked. ~So even when he is someone else, Jazz remembers who he is?~
~Most of the time,~ he nodded, relaxing into the kiss and the lack of rejection. ~True deep cover profiles don't, but I don't do that often. I'm too useful to loose for long.~
Prowl hummed, understanding that as he waited for Jazz continue.
Another deep in-vent. ~I was sent to seduce you, convert you, by any means necessary. Any means, including forcing a bond or reprogramming.~ He lowered his helm to Prowl's. ~I never expected I'd be the one to fall in love. Never expected it to be anything more than another job. All I'm programmed to be still insists it shouldn't be possible.~
A long silence with this revelation, and the feeling of Prowl's processors working very deeply. ~Just convert me?~ Prowl finally asked, looking for clarification on a point that was important to him.
~Yes,~ Jazz nodded. ~My orders were to get you to defect so Prime would have use of your tactical genius instead of facing it.~
~And the decision to stay with me after I changed sides?~
~Mine,~ Jazz murmured. ~Black Echo approved when I asked to; he liked that you'd be under a skilled watch. My request to bond was all mine too,~ he added, his mind quiet, subdued, or at least as much as it ever was. ~My mission was over the moment I delivered you to Black Echo.~
Finally Prowl kissed him. ~I love you. I have for a very long time.~ Prowl said. ~And I always will. But want to be sure it is something that you want.~
~Yes, it is something I want very much. My only lies to you were ones of omission,~ he promised. ~As many as those were, I never said anything I didn't mean.~
Acceptance, clear and complete from Prowl and Jazz let all the tension drain from him.
~I do love you Prowl,~ he whispered, daring to claim a soft, warm but chaste kiss. ~I'll give everything for your happiness.~
~Love you.~ Prowl said again, firm and sure as he deepened the kiss before moving to nuzzle at Jazz. ~It would make me very happy to have a part of you with me always, and to always be with you. I was being selfish when I told you no before.~
He was being selfish asking now, but he hoped Jazz would forgive him that when he truly wanted the small mech as his own.
Surprise flashed across Jazz's processors, then uncertainty mixed with concern. ~Are you sure?~ He pushed the concern that Prowl was making a rash decision because of loosing Soundwave to the fore. The fear that Prowl would regret, or even resent, the bond when he had recovered fully. Behind that all, though, was a very desperate desire to be assured, to be able to say yes and face Ratchet's wrath with a clear conscious. Somewhere in there was an irreverent snicker that Jazz even had a conscious anymore.
~Sure.~ Prowl answered firmly. ~Thought about it a lot the last time you asked. Was afraid, didn't want to face the pain of possibly loosing you.~
He kissed Jazz again. ~I know now that it is going to hurt either way, and wish I had done things different in the past.~ He hesitated. ~Been keeping secrets too, about Soundwave.~
~After we bond, I'll delete that information if you want,~ Jazz offered with a gentle kiss. ~I know how to edit my memories safely.~
~Irrelevant, with him gone.~ Prowl told him, sadness rising again at the reminder. Sadness that was pushed away and replaced with amusement as Prowl focused on something else. ~Edit your memories as well? No wonder you drive Ratchet to distraction.~
~You have no idea,~ Jazz snickered. ~Primary reason I hate going to him is all the illegal software and self-made protocols I run. He clears it out every time. Takes me orns to put my systems to rights after one of his full physicals.~ He relaxed in Prowl's embrace, relaxed in his presence, and slowly began to caress him to arouse.
Amusement as Jazz's supposed suffering quickly faded as Prowl shivered under the skillful touches, mirroring the intent as his fingers slid over silver armor gently.
~Have you thought about bonding?~ Jazz asked even as he gasped with a surge of pleasure.
~Not in detail.~ Prowl admitted, attention turning to teasing one of Jazz's sensor horns. ~I am certainly open to suggestions, or to knowledge I may not have at my disposal.~
Jazz purred and offered up a new fantasy. It was starkly different from all the others, something unique to bonding. A lack of foreplay, of intent to pleasure. It was fantasy, Jazz knew, but to remove the eroticism from the moment made it stand out as something special to the mech whose entire existence, even in breaking and killing, was an expression of sensuality.
Prowl pulled back, considering, and nodded in quiet agreement as he pulled Jazz against him and simply held him. ~Doesn't have to be just a fantasy. It can be a memory instead.~
~Would it still be special for you?~ Jazz focused on what was so very important to him.
~So long as it ends with being bonded to you, yes.~ Prowl answered firmly.
~Then please,~ Jazz whispered in awe that he would be given such a gift.
Prowl simply smiled and reached to disconnect the hardline so spark-to-spark was the only communication they had once the merge began. With the full details of the fantasy in mind, he shifted to lie on his back and drew Jazz on top of him, giving the smaller mech dominance in the moment.
With a low whine of anticipation Jazz shivered and leaned forward to kiss his lover lightly, then lifted himself up and opened his chest plates to offer his spark.
Admiration and matching anticipation from radiated from Prowl, as well as a peaceful sense that this was right as he offered his own spark in return, waiting impatiently for his lover and soon to be bonded to claim.
With an adoring smile Jazz lowered himself, moving slowly to extend the conscious stages of the merge for as long as they could stand it. With the intent to bond forefront in both their processors, memories flowed from one to the other much more quickly than normal.
Jazz's first memory. Powering up in a frame and wanting. The smile of the delightful mech he first saw. The purely reflexive desire and knowledge of what to do with it as he pressed close to the larger mech and dipped his fingers into armor gasps. The welcome moans that sounded even sweeter than the pleasure his frame received from the other as he interfaced before even telling anyone his designation.
Pride. Pride and contentment as Prowl finally got to see first hand the results of one of his assignments, complete and functional.
In the grand scheme of things, in the city-state of bustling Praxus, it was a little thing. A redesign of a section of transportation routes that were slowing down from use beyond that of the original designer's plans, now moving smoothly and freely at the height of the orns traffic needs.
The first real confirmation to Prowl that was he was doing made a difference, actually worked. Early in his functioning, when his work was still good.
He felt Jazz's pride in him before a memory unfurled from the silver mech.
The now familiar form of Black Echo appeared in the brothel that owned Jazz's contract, only for Jazz he was new. A passing glance, the automatic calculations on what would please the mech, and Jazz moved on. He was on break and after a cube of well-earned energon. His contract had started at nearly three times the norm, but he showed it. His construction was better than average; designed to last many times the normal length. He was athletically pleasing in a way few of his cohorts were. Not too good to work at the mid-rated brothel, but the best of their collection.
It was in his software that he truly excelled, driven by a spark that was creative and adaptive beyond the norm. He was still learning all the skills they wanted him to have at just over six centuries, but he was utterly enamored with sorcelling.
Greetings with mechs long gone, drinking energon and laughing with co-workers until he was called for his next client. Curiosity at having a full decaorn of his time purchased at double his normal commission. Even though he wasn't supposed to know, Jazz's processors boggled at the mech who could lay out that kind of credit and would come here.
His owner would be celebrating for a vorn over this one.
Memory blurred, jagged and hazy. Knowledge learned later filled it in.
Black Echo had purchased his time to find out if Jazz was suitable for Ops training.
The smile and happiness that came so naturally to Jazz had never been quite as innocent, quite as pure after that.
True grief and sorrow from Prowl at what Jazz had lost, even if it had led to this point, and an answering memory from Prowl.
'Accident' after 'accident', pain tearing at his spark from the loss of life that he wanted to be prevent, that he knew was being caused by negligence but he could nothing about because no one would listen. He had finally forced his processor to think he didn't care. To route the pain somewhere else.
No one until the he first encountered the leader of the rising rebellion, before the moment had even been termed a rebellion, and those who believed still called it a revolution. A revolution for the working class mech, for all of those who where essentially slaves with no chance to rise or advance beyond their position, who were trapped in injustice and forced to watch it be carried out on others.
Megatron had preached of a new life. Of change. And Prowl had dared to believe in the vision he presented, dared to the point that when the large mech had asked him to join he had walked away from his position and not cared about the how it happened.
~Megatron was sane then,~ Jazz murmured, amazed at the first-hand perspective of a mech who had known Megatron then, had believed in Megatron then.
Unbidden the rising memory from Jazz was of a similar time with a very different situation.
He, Black Echo, Sentinel Prime, Ironhide and other high-ranking mechs from the senate, military and intelligence were gathered around. Jazz's part was clear: he was to watch, listen and be quiet.
In Jazz's memory Prowl watched and realized just how early on Megatron had been identified as a 'problem' and the plans that had been in place to deal with him.
By all rights the miner should never have survived long enough to see Senator Decimus, much less kill him ... and certainly not to escape afterwards. Yet when he did he became the target of the military ... but the 'property' of Intel, of Black Echo. They dedicated resources to understanding Megatron, certain that the mech had a greater purpose that anyone who believed in the government's correctness could admit to.
Black Echo was certain that Megatron was being protected by Primus himself.
Memories went jagged again, but because they were skipping around in time, connected only by the thread of quietly and cautiously supporting Megatron without Megatron ever knowing it.
A 'problem'? Prowl's surprise, at the timing and the way it had been handled, and at how it had spiraled out of hand.
Then a massive jump in time, faint impressions and images of happiness, of time spent with Soundwave and the symbiots to fill in the open space. One clear image- accompanied with much remembered confusion- of the revelation that Soundwave had been a Priest of Primus before he had joined Megatron.
Then the still fresh pain of Iacon, of the part that Prowl had played in its fall. And what Prowl had learned in the aftermath, of the actions of the late Prime and just how Soundwave had come to be where he was.
Jazz stilled briefly, shock ... incredulous shock, then a flare of fury and betrayal before it all settled into a mirthless laugh.
~Seems Black Echo didn't give Sentinel Prime enough credit. Mech was onto him.~
Prowl flinched away, wary of Jazz's reaction, the revelation having gone far worse than he had anticipated as he sought a clearer understanding, suddenly unsure of himself.
~Shu, not you babe,~ Jazz assured him, focusing on his love for the mech with him. ~Sentinel Prime never told us about his infiltration plan. I knew Soundwave had been a High Priest, even that he was the one to call your spark from the Well, but I never even guessed that he was an infiltrator. I should have been told once it was clear that he was courting you, since that was my mission as well.~
~I do not think anyone else knew all of it until he told me.~ Prowl admitted, relaxing once more into the sharing as their sparks wove together, a deep sense of agreement to Jazz's statement coming across, and underneath buried pain of how much Prowl still missed the mech in discussion.
Instant apology, and reminder of how much Prowl loved Jazz.
~Love you, including the part of you that loves him,~ Jazz murmured, no longer hiding that it was hard for him. He didn't really want to share Prowl. He wasn't, deep down, completely okay with it. Okay enough that their bond would be solid. Okay enough that he would do what he could to help Prowl save what was left of his family. Okay enough to have expected Prowl to bond with Soundwave and no longer resent it.
But never completely at peace with the idea that Prowl loved another ... loved a mech that Jazz himself could not see bonding with himself.
There too, however, was the long, emotionally painful path Jazz had taken to accept Soundwave, even if he could never love him. It had come down to a pitifully simple equation that drained all the inner turmoil from the truth of it.
Jazz loved Prowl enough to want him to be completely happy.
Prowl needed Soundwave to be completely happy.
Jazz needed to accept Soundwave as Prowl's bonded.
Flickering in the background were the moments of hurt. The moments of questioning why he wasn't enough. Moments of planning the host's demise to eliminate the competition. There were moments of comprehension, of acceptance, well before that state settled in as the norm.
In the end it was as simple to say as it was complex to do. Jazz loved Prowl enough to accept that Prowl loved two mechs, not one.
Distress radiated from Prowl, spark and frame alike shaking at the idea that he had been, was still, hurting Jazz. The fact that Soundwave had felt the same, had also wondered at something that Prowl couldn't explain, other than the fact that he needed both of them.
Trying to explain anyway in the only way that made sense to Prowl- they both balanced the mech between them. Soundwave was the steady constant in Prowl's existence, and Jazz was the opposite- the part that pushed Prowl to live. Together they made Prowl the mech they both claimed to love.
And Prowl loved them both, without reservation and before without hesitation. But he didn't want to lock someone he loved into relationship they were going to regret later.
Finally he found his voice.
~Love you. Love you so much.~ Prowl whispered. ~Understand if you don't want though. You can still leave. Can still...go. Don't want you unhappy. Couldn't live with that.~
Jazz murmured wordlessly as he lowered his helm to Prowl's and deepened the merge slightly. ~I love you Prowl. Understand that. Love, bonding, never promised to be easy. It promised to be worth the effort. It is. You are. I want this with you. I wanted it even when I knew, without a doubt, that you would bond to a mech I didn't love as well. I want to bond with you Prowl. If you find another that completes you, that you love, I will find the strength to accept them as well.~
With all the emotional turmoil and relief, both willingly sank further down, allowing memories to flow without examining them much. Two lifetimes, Jazz's longer than Prowl had anticipated, were exchanged, stored and incorporated even as spark energy began to weave into a new pattern to bring the two sparks closer in synch and permanently bind them together by exchanging part of their cores.
It was a processes that took conscious desire and coherency to initiate, but then ran its own course as the mechs processors struggled to grasp and cope with the amount of information being uploaded to them.
It ended, unlike an overload, by forcing both mechs to power down. Even Jazz, with his pleasurebot protocols and hardware, experienced a hard reboot.
Each system came online, reports from critical automatic systems stacking with the reports from secondary systems for inspection as both mechs powered up slowly.
Only this time there was a distinct lack of panic on Prowl's end, any fear that he might have potentially felt soothed instantly by the peace in his spark that was permanently Jazz.
That spot felt deeply in awe, something that went with Jazz's expression when Prowl turned his optics on.
~Hey babe,~ Jazz experimentally tried to communicate over their new bond.
~Jazz.~ Prowl answered, planting a gentle kiss on Jazz's helm as endless love and peace flowed across the bond in Prowl's own version of a test.
Jazz shivered at the feeling, a moan torn from his vocalizer as he tried to comprehend the sensation of peace and calmness that was utterly alien to him but so very, very welcome.
~Love you,~ Jazz replied, quivering with awe, adoration and desire for the mech holding him and now inside his spark.
~And I love you.~ Prowl murmured, enjoying the new connection and all of the layers of meaning it allowed beyond simple words. Amusement and embarrassment at the continued awe he was picking up from Jazz as he looked away.
Jazz nuzzled him to meet his optics again, placing a light kiss on each before moving to Prowl's mouth. A thought-image of Jazz working Prowl's spike with his mouth while his valve was filled with a toy was sent along with the surge of lust the idea caused, and that Jazz was curious how much of an overload would cross the bond.
Laughter backed by eager amusement on Prowl's end.
This was the Jazz he knew and loved, the Jazz that was now his and a part of his spark, and he didn't even try to contain the joy that knowledge gave him.
~I'm willing love.~
~Good,~ Jazz purred as he slid down his lover's chassis, taking the time to kiss along the seam of Prowl's chest. ~Because we kinda need to know how much a disruption my function will be to yours.~
Prowl hummed in agreement, reaching out to stroke Jazz's helm. ~Point, or at least try and get an idea of how long it will take me to learn to control my reaction.~
~Don't forget to just tell me if something big is going down you need to focus on,~ Jazz admonished him even as he kissed his way to Prowl's spike cover and played his fingers over the valve cover. ~This isn't a one-way deal.~
~I will.~ Prowl promised, meaning it even as he gave way and both covers slid away for his lover- his bonded, his spark reminded him- and moaned softly. ~Have to see if it is going to affect you working too.~
~I'm sure it will some, but I have a lot more by way of software and hardware to control it,~ Jazz pointed out, watching with unbridled desire as Prowl's spike pressurized for him. He played the tips of his fingers around Prowl's valve rim, teasing for readiness as well as encouraging it.
~Jazz.~ Prowl whimpered, picking up on Jazz's desire and quivering as it affected him as well, systems heating far quicker than normal.
A soft moan escaped Jazz, enticed and intensely aroused by Prowl's quick response, to the fact that it was to Jazz and not merely a knowing touch or anticipation of pleasure. He drew a false spike from his subspace, moving it carefully under Prowl's gaze to tease the tip of the elaborate object around the soft, flexible rim of Prowl's valve.
"Ready babe?" Jazz purred, his own equipment responding but suppressed for now.
~Yes. Please. Please.~ The teasing, the anticipation, the need had Prowl begging shamelessly. He moaned deeply at the slow, purposeful slide into his slick valve, at the intensity he could feel from his lover. Even being hardlined didn't provide this level of understanding at the silver mech's purity of pleasure at giving it.
"Pleasurebot, babe," Jazz smiled, optics flicking from Prowl's features to the enticing slide of false spike in and out of Prowl's chassis. "Comes with the design."
"Not complaining." Prowl moaned, quivering as he gripped the berth, wings flaring. "Never have."
"Love ya all the more for that," Jazz purred, his adoration for his bonded's tolerance of his nature thick in the emotions flowing between them. Without missing any smoothness in sliding the false spike, Jazz lowered his helm and slowly took Prowl's spike in. Slick heat, suction and a wickedly gifted glossa assaulted the rich density of sensor nodes there.
"Jazz!" Without really thinking about what he was doing Prowl focused on the bond, letting everything he was feeling feed back through it. All of the love he felt for Jazz, all of his appreciation for the faith the mech had for him.
And how sure he was that this was the right thing they had done.
Jazz shivered between his legs, delight at the certainty and adoration of the mech flowing back as Jazz went to work, his goal to get his lover off as quickly and hard as he could.
As worked up as Prowl it wasn't long before he crying out and doing everything in his power to be still, the duel pleasure from spike and valve rivaling the pleasure singing across the bond.
A surge of energy and pure pleasure as Prowl arched off the berth, overload rushing through him. ~Jazz!~
The silver mech moaned around the spike in his mouth as he greedily swallowed Prowl's transfluid. The intensity across the wide-open and close-range bond was nearly enough to tumble him over the edge by itself. Only his own desire to experience it all kept him from giving into the desire.
Prowl came down hard, panting furiously in an attempt to cool overheated systems as he fought to remain conscious, moaning in bliss. ~Primus...Jazz.~
~Love ya, Prowl,~ Jazz shivered, moaning himself as he gently slid the false spike from Prowl and his mouth from Prowl's still-tingling spike. ~You can drop off line if you want,~ he purred, more than willing to deal with his own arousal.
~Not until you're ready too.~ Prowl answered, not entirely sure he could finish dropping into recharge with the sight and feel of his clearly aroused lover so close.
Jazz hummed thoughtfully, then took the false spike and slid it inside his own valve with a deep, resonant moan of bliss. ~Then enjoy watching.~
~I always do.~ It was agreement and confession at the same time as Prowl moved enough to take in all of Jazz. ~Will help too, if you want.~
~You're always welcome,~ Jazz moaned, spreading his knees and arching to put on a show as he slid the false spike slowly in and out of his quickly charging valve. ~Love your touch, babe.~
Prowl sat up, optics never leaving the enticing sight of his mate. ~Come here.~ Invitation and a promise of pleasure sang across the bond between them.
Without hesitation Jazz crawled close and offered and image of Prowl holding him from behind, touching his spark casing until he overloaded.
A purr of agreement from Prowl as he claimed a kiss before pulling the silver mech close, back to front, hands teasing at Jazz's chest while Prowl lavished attention on the other mech.
A shudder passed through Jazz's chassis as he opened his chest plates and began to work the false spike once more. He reached back with his free hand to hook over Prowl's shoulder and caress one sensor wing.
~For you.~ Prowl reminded him as a moan of pleasure escaped him and he pushed a sensor wing into the touch as his fingers caressed the offered spark chamber and worshiped the spark it protected. ~Your happiness. Your pleasure.~
~Us,~ Jazz countered. ~Our happiness. Our pleasure. Our future.~ Jazz's hips jerked into his hand, driving the false spike deeper as he cried out, right on the verge of a hard overload.
~Ours.~ Prowl agreed, pushing love over the bond as he tipped Jazz's helm up to kiss him, sharing that intimacy as Jazz overloaded with a muted cry, drenching their bond in his pleasure. His spark reached out, pressing the outermost edge of its corona against Prowl's hand, seeking a connection with it's bonded's field.
A second, smaller overload washed over Prowl, catching the Praxian off guard and radiating out through field and bond, driven by his lover's pleasure and his own desire.
~Intense,~ Jazz whispered, leaning back against his lover as they both came down. ~Way intense.~
Prowl nuzzled at him. ~Very much so.~ He settled back, the smaller mech against his chest. ~Content now?~ He asked, even if he could feel the answer to his own question across the bond.
Jazz simply purred in reply and snuggled close as they both began to shut down for recharge. ~Love you, Prowl. I've wanted this for a long time.~
~Love you.~ Prowl murmured as he slipped into recharge, content and at peace.