III

Start of Disaster

It turned out, when you have nothing to do, things can start to bug you. Like an itchy rash on your brain, it keeps crying until you do something about it. I had one of those rashes. This rash was ticked off at a certain Espada for the fact that he: A. didn't kill me and/or B. didn't even try to care if he did or not.

I was debating to somehow poison Ulquiorra's tea or spray paint his room pink. The options were truly limitless. All these idea would get me killed. Somewhere along this violent train of thoughts I recalled a phrase from the stone age of my life. I flipped it over a couple times in my brain before deciding why not? I had nothing to lose.

'Keep your friends close, your enemies closer,' still danced around in my head as I stepped out on a street in the World of the Living.

People streamed around me, ignoring the girl with the expression that probably looked like she had just stepped into a totally different universe. Wow, news flash, I had.

There were advantages to being Szayel's fracción, minus the death defying situations and threatens of being hammered open and dissected. I didn't enjoy that part, perhaps that's just me.

In any case, I learned to use the garganta to send other higher classed Arrancars through. Ever seen one just awesomely walk through the garganta? Yeah, there was some poor fracción holding it open. Now, that skill was finally coming in handy.

From my very limited knowledge of everything, I did know that I didn't want a shinigami on my tail. Wanna talk about me being skewered? Nah, rather not. I took something illegal to stop that. Technically, it was a "someone". From a longtime request from Lord Aizen, Syael created the hollow gigai.

Incognito Arrancars could terrorize the Soul Society, especially if the body could hide the reiatsu of the user. There would be no way to detect an Arrancar from a newborn human baby. Annoying for them? Yes. Great for us? Are you kidding me? It was wonderful!

They were a smash hit with the Números. It stubbed the toe of anything above, especially when Grimmjow got stuck. Literally, his angry spiritual pressure melted the thing to his real body. I was in charge of peeling the thing off; it was like trying to take the skin off an apple with no knife. The Espada's howling could be heard for miles. Grimmjow's humiliation stuck with him and I reminded him of that. I have almost died "on accident" by his hands ever since. Lightly put, the project went to the backburner with style.

I moved down the street, hoping nobody would notice. The city sang with motion, unhollowifed animals, multicolored plantlife, chromatic colored buildings, and non psychotic people. The last part was nice, I smiled. This world was so odd compared to mine. It was because the recall on my life before Lord Aizen dragged me from a hollow existence was zero.

A bus chugged by and I fingered the coins in my pocket. I could have lived here. This could have been home, granted in some random hole. Anyone of these people could have been an old friend of mine. Did they miss me? Would they even miss me? Should I be missed?

I shook my head and picked up the pace. I killed countless humans, ate their souls and then moved on to other hollows. I dragged myself through a dark world, waiting for my chance to rip off another's head. There was no home in the World of the Living for me.

A destination loomed into existence. "Urahara's Shop" was on the sign and hopefully tea was their specially. I reminded myself to be "home" before breakfast and opened the door.

The front was a mess and crowed. A group of teenagers in the corner talked up a storm and two littler kids ran around wielding brooms. Instantly, my internal problems radar had a heart attack. The inside of the place was infested with spirit energy.

My brilliant mind realized a decade late that the gigai capped my ability to sense the spiritual pressure. Now it was in my face and breathing down my throat. Not only now was I going to get killed, but I was about to throw Lord Aizen's plans in complete and utter hazardousness danger. Brilliant, just brilliant.

I turned tail to run. I failed though because my entrance had been spotted by a certain shopkeeper.

"A prospective customer! How may I help you today?"

"Agh….uh…yeah…." the words "dead" and "stupid" were doing the waltz in my head. Coherent responses weren't my forte anyways. I tried to break for the door. I realized that deer-in-the-headlights syndrome had kicked in. I wasn't going anywhere.

"We have an assortment of household and cleaning goods," he grinned from under his hat and sashayed closer, "don't even get me started on the food."

"Tea," I croaked, "my…boss wants some new tea. He likes strange it-I mean- tea. He likes strange tea." I would smack myself in any other place or time. The kids in the corner stopped conversing and started staring. The shopkeeper never missed a beat.

"Tea?" He beamed, "We have the widest and most unusual variety of tea. You have come to the right place, my friend. What tea do you have in mind?"

Which one was the Soul Reaper? Where was the sword? Would the gigai really work at close range like this?

"Anything...different."

I walked like a broken toy solder after him as he glided to a shelf. Best to act that I was nothing but an oblivious human, I concluded. They just might not notice the Arrancar in the room. The teens resumed their chatting and the shop cat came out from hiding. The man popped open a box and my nose felt like it had been hit by a dung covered baseball bat.

I looked at the compartments and my mind became a black hole of nothingness. I didn't know zilch about tea. I couldn't even make it. This was Ulquiorra's obsession. I just drank it when he wasn't looking. Pretending that I expert in the field, I plopped a finger on my chin and stared.

It all looked like the same blackened crumbled junk, I discovered. I hoped that one of the teas would jump up and sing: "I am Ulquiorra's favorite!" Not today. Probably not ever. There was always hope.

"Anything that will strike your boss's fancy?" The shopkeeper asked after five minutes of my "deliberation".

I mentally eeny-meeny-miny-moed and pointed to a box with large dried black stuff, "That one looks like it will be good."

He raised an eyebrow, "Black dried roses? That's got a tang to it; nothing's going to cut that flavor."

"Yeah, that sounds good, just give me enough to last a month," Never again was I going shopping for someone I hated. The result wasn't worth it. I shoved my hand in my pocket and retrieved the cash. I took it off some guy that wasn't looking. He looked rich enough not to notice for a while or at all.

The shopkeeper took the stolen money and retreated to ring up the order. I sighed mentally, this was almost over. The black shop cat purred over and rubbed herself again my leg. Trying to keep my composer was hard enough, I yelped at the creature's touch.

"Oh, don't mine Yor-the cat, she's just really friendly," Came the comment from behind the counter. My mind ran around like a helpless headless chicken. What would a human do? I tried to think back to anything that might be helpful. Pet the cat, came the answer finally, pet the cat and smile.

My hand obeyed my brain and touched the black fur. The smile came automatically. She was soft. There was nothing like that in Las Noches, everything there wasn't about comfort, but function. I reached out to her again. Instead of fur, I got the teeth. I drew back and the cat fled. The gigai's blood made a mess on the floor. I swore under my breath, don't make a scene now.

I caught the quick smile of the shopkeeper before his face turned apologetic, "I'm sorry! I guess she's in a bad mood. Do you want me to bandage that up for you?"

I was paranoid now. The energy was getting on my nerves. It was everywhere, making the person impossible to pinpoint. Think of trying to find a singular piece of sand while drowning in the stuff. That impossible.

"No thanks," I jumped up and snatched the order, "I've really got to go, thanks for the tea." I found that sand particle the moment I touched his hand by mistake. I shoved the bleeding hand away and fled. I expected the shinigami to come screaming after.

I tried to think of an escape as I tipped down the street. It would take huge amount of concentration to get the garganta open. It was like a baby, sometimes it needed convincing. In any case, it's not something that could be done on the run. If the shopkeeper was on my tail it would be like giving him a golden ticket to Las Noches. I dodged random humans and made for an alleyway. I pushed the limits of the gigai, if I discarded it, every alarm that the Soul Society would go off.

It took me six different backstreets to realize that he wasn't coming after my skin. Maybe he didn't figure it out in time or perhaps I was just too fast for him. The latter was wishful thinking and I knew it. Falling to my knees, I immediately started the chant to open the garganta. There was no way that I was going to stick around.

I placed my hands on the bricks underneath me, shut my eyes and concentrated, "My right hand is the stone that bridges swords. My left hand is the blade that binds reality."

The water-like tingle started in the tips of my fingers and slowly flowed up to my elbows. I reached out with both hands, not through the air, but through the fabric of this universe.

"The black-haired shepherd is hung from a chair," I never got any part of the incantation, but hey, it worked. I found the familiar spiritual pressure of world that Lord Aizen called home and yanked.

"Stratus clouds come," I ripped open the hole and breathed the final line, "and I strike down the ibis."

I fled from this awful world, unknowingly being watched. All of this for a month's worth of tea, it better be worth it.

Oh! So now the title makes sense now doesn't it? But was does a gargata chant have do with all this? Guesses? Ideas?

I really think that Ulquiorra would like a tea with a tang to it. It just seems like something that he would like something with a little punch. Dry rose tea is a real tea by the way; I see it all the time when I go the coffee shop. Never had it though…

Right now, I'm starting to write the climax of this story (I have a buffer) and it's going to be exciting. Don't expect an update next week, I think that I am going to be on vacation were there will be no printer.

Reviews make my day, just felt like mentioning it. :)

-Quin

Bleach, Ulquiorra and co. do not belong to me but to the awesome Tite Kubo. Sola is my own creation, therefore copyrighted to me (she disproves of this).