An: hey guys i just wanted to tell you that i didnt mean to take so long getting this together this wasnt even what i was plain but i mean i really couldnt get it out, i re-wrote this 4 times before i get this out. UGH!!!

~*~*~NOW ON WITH IT~*~*~

!*!*!*!*! Edward!*!*!*!*!

In the last couple of months I couldn't explain why I did what I did with Bella. I just did it, plain and simple. It was better then I could ever ask for. Any fantasies you could ever have being filled as soon as you tell her it. Oh yeah life was good.

We had sex everywhere I could think of.

Her room/my room

My piano

The janitors closet at school.

Tennis courts

On the park… the slide per say

My parent's room

In the shower

The Chief's bed

The grave yard

And Emmett's bed, Oh yeah we did. And the kicker was that he was down stairs at the time playing x-box or something.

She was incredible. Life was just that fucking gravy.

I could have sex with the most amazing girl in this whole world, and I could also still kiss and flirt with every girl I seen. NO COMMITMENT! Life was awesome sometimes.

I had everything that every male population wanted. Best friend/ beautiful gorgeous woman fucking you when ever you wanted, but never had to spend a penny on anything. No ring to tie you down, yep life was the best.

But see even though everything seems so peachy, it was anything but that. I mean yes I could have sex with her and hang out with her. But every time i left or she left there would be this feeling of emptiness.

I could tell you honestly that I like Bella, but I didn't know if it was just lust or if it was something more.

I wanted to know everything about her but I also wanted to spend every minute with her. It was like I wanted more but every time I thought anything of it I pushed it away.

We were BFB's …. Best fuck buddies. Yes I know sounds gay but who cared. Every time I think about her I get a fucking hard on. UGH!!! What is she doing to me? I mean I'm Edward fucking Cullen and I know I can get any girl I wanted but she was just the one for me.

I swear I could be in love with her.

Wait what?

Nope never mind it was stupid I know that. I could never be in love. I'm just better to not to think about that shit.

I sighed looking at my alarm clock on my night stand. It read 6:30am. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom climbing in the shower.

-

When we all arrived at school I looked around to try and find Bella's car. Yes Bella finally got her car and it was hot. I mean how many girls you know that have a 1967 mustang convertible. Her mom sent it down 2 weeks after we made our deal. Oh the car.

I remember a week ago I was driving her car, Bella decide that she was going to give me road head. I almost ran her off the road and into a tree when I hit my climax. Good thing there wasn't any cars around I'm sure I would have crash head first into another car, or into a ditch. Or the chief could have pulled me over now. I could see it now.

-

"Hello chief swan." I'd ask.

"Edward why on earth were you going that fast and swerving the car all over the road, especially with my daughter in the car?"

"Well your daughter decided to give me amazing road head, and it seems that it was so good, that I was driving like a mad man on a rampage."

-

Oh yeah it would go over so well. He would probably pull out his gun and shot me in the fucking ass, or worse the balls.

That would suck though cause then I wouldn't be able to fuck his little pride and joy. HA!!

When I looked at the car however I didn't see Bella. What the hell! She always meets me there. I wonder were she is? I mean I know she's here because she never in a million years would let Emmett drive her car.

Yeah she always let me drive the car, but Emmett was well, Emmett. He would lose the keys, or better yet he would crash the car. He's only on his 3rd car. The car he has now, his mother had to give him the money for it.

I walked into the school looking for Bella; she might be at her locker. I turned the corner to find Bella right were I thought she would be. What I didn't expect was Tyler, Mike, Eric, and Jordan surrounding her.

She was looking up at Tyler with a sexy smirk that she always gives me when she wants something. I walked up a little more to hear what they were talking about.

"I know if you can get me coke for this weekend, I'll come take you out. Maybe we could have some fun." Tyler said, trying to sound sexy. He sounded like a wounded goat.

"You know what Tyler" She asked sexily. Her fingers were walking up his chest. "I can get my own coke. But maybe we could go out sometime. It depends on if something, or maybe even somebody better, comes up."

What the hell!

Was she flirting with this guy, I thought we agreed it would only be us? She said she would only sleep with me. And now she's making plans with this loser. What the fuck!!

I wanted to pull her a side and that's what I did. I walked up to her and the others.

"Bella can I talk to you for a minute" I asked while I looked at her and gave her a tight smile.

"Um why, I'm talking to some really cute guys right now." She looked at me and a cocky smirk was playing on her lips. "Can it wait?"

"No" I stated simply grabbing her arm and pulling her across to the other side of the hall. I looked across the hall glaring at the guys.

"Edward, what the fuck?" She looked at me teeth clenched together.

"What do you mean what the fuck, I should be asking you the same fucking question." I spat.

"What the hell are you talking about."

"Why were you talking to them? No, better yet why the fuck are you saying you'll go out with the fucking douse bag. I thought we had a understanding." I was trying not to yell but it was getting harder by the second. I mean I'm jealous I will admit it, but I felt like she was supposed to be with me, and only me.

"Edward, you do this all the time. You fucking flirt with girls all the time. This is how you wanted it but now that I'm flirting, No I'm not aloud" that was true but I didn't want it to be. For some strange reason I wanted more.

Looking down at her, I realized one thing I've been trying to figure out for about a month now. Fuck I'm screwed!

"That's not the same thing Bella and you know it." I said in a whisper. "You know that the only way this can work is to let me do that. The only was Emmett won't find out."

"Whatever I promise I won't fuck around" she said while she rolled her eyes. "You know what, better yet. I'm done. I can't do this anymore, Edward." She said indicating to herself and me.

"Bella, what?" I said. What the hell. I thought this was want we wanted. I could feel that emptiness as she decided that she did care anymore. She didn't want to hear what I had to say. Fuck!!

"I'll see you later." She yelled walking down the hall to her class.

--

School went by quickly. I didn't know why but all I could think about was Bella. Why couldn't she do this anymore? Does she want somebody else? Does she want more from me?

That couldn't be it, she couldn't want anymore. She knows her brother is over protective of her. She never gave any signs either. What ever when I see her everything will go back to normal, I believe that.

Alice, Jasper, Rose and I were all sitting around my living room waiting for Emmett and Bella. Mom and dad decided that they were going to have their 3rd honeymoon. We were going to have a movie night I think that's what Alice said anyways. This means I can have a little fun with Bella under the blankets.

A half an hour later Emmett walked in, with no Bella. What the hell?

"Where's Bella?"

"She said something about being sick and not being able to come." Emmett shrugged.

"Oh"

What the hell she couldn't be sick, she was avoiding me. Shit, this cant be good.

"I think I'm going to go see if she is okay. You really shouldn't have left her there. I mean really, if she's as sick as she says she is, then somebody should be there with her. You're just stupid you know that." I said to Emmett while punching him in the arm.

Before anyone could say anything else to me, I left out the door.

-

When I got to Bella's house I could only see her bedroom light on. Okay maybe Charlie isn't home. I walked up and knock on the door waiting for her to answer.

After about 5 minutes she finally answered the door. She had on one of my hooded sweat shirts with a pair of my boxers on and my gray wife beater under it. I think I got a hard on just by seeing her in my clothes. It was sexy as fuck.

"What!" She spat, anger written on her face. I raised an eyebrow at her. Why was she mad, I mean this is what we wanted. "Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I told you today I'm done. So stay away."

"Bella." I said as I stopped the door from closing in my face. "Can we at least talk about this. And then you can give me a reason why you don't want to do this anymore."

"NO!" she yelled. She went to close the door again but I pushed it open so I could get in through the door. I was not ending it like this, I didn't want to end this.

"Edward get out of my house. I don't want to do this right now. I mean like fuck, just fuck off."

I grabbed her by the shoulders to keep her standing in front of me. "Bella, like fuck I mean really thought you wanted this to. Tell me why your doing this, I need to fucking understand why the hell your doing this."

I looked into her eyes to try to see what she was feeling. It looked like she wanted to cry. But then her face went blank.

"Edward you want to know why." She said looking at me. "You really want to know why I am done with you" she was yelling at me. I nodded; at least I was going to find out so I could fix this problem. "Because it feels like I'm one of those bimbo sluts. I feel like a piece of fucking meat. I know you have a rep to keep up but I'm done."

"Bella, what are you trying to say. You lost me here. I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like a piece of me."

"Edward, what I'm trying to say is that I want it all or nothing at all. I know that I'm quoting o-town, but fuck just go." She threw her arms up knocking my arms off of her shoulders and ran up the stairs.

"Bella!" I yelled following her up the stair. "Bella." I said as I got up to her bedroom door. I opened the door to see her lying in the middle of the bed with her face in a pillow. Her body shook as she sobbed into her pillow. I walked over to her and sat on the bed beside her.

"Go. Away." She said between sobs.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. You know you're my best friend right?" she nodded her head. "Then why are you being like this. I mean I understand you want all of me. But you know for a fact that if Emmett found out he would rip my balls off and shoved them down my throat."

"FUCK!!!" She screamed into the pillow. She looked up at me from her pillow, eyes red from crying, anger playing on her face. "Why the fuck can't you grow up. I mean you would have to fucking grow some fucking balls before Emmett could rip them out."

"I…I." I was at loss. Fuck I know I'm afraid of commitment, but what guy isn't. I never have anyone call me on it. I mean I know I'm not going to run away and get married or something. But I mean I really didn't want a girlfriend I have always just been me. No girlfriends, just sex. I didn't want to be tied down to one girl. Well not until now.

"I…I… this is what I mean. Edward, you can't even talk to me. I mean I'm trying to tell you that I love you but your being a fucking coward. I mean come on I bet Tyler, Mike, and Jacob would love to be with me and not afraid to get there balls ripped off."

I didn't know why but I had to. I pulled her into a kiss and put as much passion I had into the kiss. I mean really she just told me she loved me. I wanted her, I wanted her bad. We broke away panting, looking in her eyes as my forehead. She's the only one that has ever called me on my shit. And I realized that I was in love with her to.

"I love you too." I panted. I leaned into her and kissed her softly on the lips. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I repeated over and over.

Tomorrow I would be dead. But I'll die a happy man, having the most beautiful creature to walk this earth love me.

----

so anyways, i know your going to be pissed at me but i have a surprize next chapter and your all going to hate me for it. WHO CAN GUESS WHAT IT IS???? reveiw and tell me what you think is going to happen and ill tell you if your wrong or not okay..... ill have the next chapter out sometime this week thursday at the latest. okay love you guys

shy...