Don't You Trust Me?
Bleach and its characters do not belong to me.
The tension between us could've been cut with a knife.
I couldn't tell who the anger in his eyes was for.
Me or Shuuhei?
His hands were trembling and his body was rigid.
Slowly, the numbness left my body and I became aware of everything again.
He didn't say anything. He just stood there staring.
But not at me. More like through me. Almost like I wasn't there.
A gust of wind blew through the night and violent shiver tore through me.
His eyes became seeing again and his gaze softened slightly.
He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it to me.
"Put that on. You're gonna freeze to death like that."
I smiled slightly when he did that.
"We've gotta stop meeting like this."
I was trying to make a joke to lighten the situation.
"Just put the damn jacket on."
His tone brought out the stubborn side in me.
I stood up, leaving his jacket on the ground, and glared at him.
"No! Why do I think that you think this is my fault?"
His eyes had narrowed back into slits so I couldn't read him anymore.
He turned away from me and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"I never said that, but you didn't fight him off so I had to step in."
He turned back to me.
"Why didn't you fight back?"
His tone was saturated with confusion.
Another shiver shook me so I bent down and grabbed his jacket to slip on.
The feeling of absolute terror and helplessness washed over me again.
"That's a long, personal, story."
I may have been dying to see him but I didn't think I could dump my past onto this strange man.
I hadn't even told Momo or Boss.
I must've been seeing things due to the shock of almost being raped, because I thought I saw a slight smile tug at his lips.
"I've got time…"
He sounded reluctant when he said it. I didn't understand why and it hurt too.
"Don't force yourself! You know, I really don't get you. You just keep popping in and out of my life with barely a word. Just who are you?"
I meant to sound angry, but instead I sounded sad and wistful.
I turned away and made to walk back inside.
"Forget it. I need to get out of here."
I left him standing on the balcony and walked through the crowd.
I heard footsteps behind me and I knew it was him.
"Now you follow me? Couldn't bother to send me home the other night though."
I was mumbling under my breath.
"I kind of need my jacket back, unless you're planning on wearing both my jackets."
I realized I still had on his suit's jacket and blushed.
I shrugged it off when I got into the coat room, threw it at him and tugged his other one on.
Just as I was about to leave, Momo ran up to me.
"Hey Rangiku, are you leaving?"
I nodded and then I saw her eyes flick to him.
Her jaw dropped and understanding filled her eyes.
"Is that?"
I nodded and walked past her, beyond ready to get out of there.
I could barely keep my dress around me so I decided to splurge on a taxi.
When I got home I threw the bastards jacket underneath a pile of old clothes in the back of my closet and grabbed a towel.
I hopped in the shower and tried to scrub away this terrible night.
My skin turned red as I tried to erase Shuuhei's touch.
The shower helped a little but I still couldn't shake off the annoyance I had felt at that strange guy.
I collapsed on my bed and sighed.
I had been dying to see him again and now that I had I wanted nothing to do with him.
Even as I thought I knew it was a lie. I still wanted to know him.
Even though he had pissed me off, I couldn't deny the safeness I felt around him.
It was all so conflicting. My brain hurt. I needed relief.
I hopped up, dropped my towel and threw on some clothes.
I resisted the urge to wear his jacket and pulled on a hoodie instead.
I grabbed my purse and headed for my bar.
I was on my fifth beer when the bartender told me to slow down.
I glared up at the man.
"Fuck off. I'm paying aren't I?"
I finished the bottle and asked for another.
As I drank from my new bottle, someone sat down on at the empty stool beside me.
I didn't need to look. I knew it was him.
"Twice in one night? Aren'tI lucky."
My voice was heavy with sarcasm, trying to hide the surge of pleasure that swam through me.
He shrugged and took my beer from me.
"I think you've had enough Rangiku."
My name sounded beautiful when said in his low voice. Then I remembered I never introduced myself.
"How do you know my name?"
He tilted the bottle up to his lips before answering.
"I heard that ass and your friend call you it."
His voice sounded calm and natural. The angry edge to it from earlier was gone.
"You're not mad anymore?"
Why did I even care?
He sighed in exasperation.
"I was never mad at you. I was mad at myself for getting involved."
I didn't understand.
"You shouldn't have?"
He shook his head.
"Why?"
He pressed his fingers into his temples and took another drink.
"I can't tell you that. All I can say is that me interfering and being here is very dangerous. For the both of us."
I tingled in pleasure when he said us.
I ordered another beer and started drinking with him.
Not much was said. Meaningless small talk. Trying to learn more about him. He let nothing slip.
Somehow she convinced me to walk her home. I owed it to her. That was why. No other reason behind it.
She could barely walk or keep her eyes open, so I put my arm around her to give her support.
I tried to ignore how much I liked her leaning into my chest. How warm and soft she felt. How her hair tickled my cheek but was still a nice sensation.
"Where do you live?"
She needn't know that I had followed her that night, though I doubt she was aware of much at the moment.
She rattled off her address and I headed for the building.
Halfway there her legs gave out and I had no choice but to carry her.
She was lighter than I expected. She clutched my shirt and nestled into my chest.
This was bad. Very, very bad.
She was too interested, too attached. I was falling farther into this forbidden place.
The farther I fell, the less chance I had of climbing out.
Did I even want to?
It didn't matter. I had to keep her safe. Keep her away from my world.
I was annoyed to find that her door wasn't locked.
Didn't she have any sense of self preservation?
I laid her on her bed and hesitated.
I was sure she would be more comfortable in different clothes, but she was dead asleep.
I assumed she'd be okay and went to leave.
I felt her pull on my hand as I turned away.
"No… Don't go…"
I wanted nothing more than to give in to her request.
"I can't. I have to leave."
She squeezed her eyes and held tighter to my hand.
"I don't want to be alone… Be alone with me…"
I sighed and sat down on the chair next to her bed.
I told myself that as soon as she fell asleep I would leave.
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