I have been informed by the marvelous Susangel that it has been 2 weeks since i posted as compared to the 2 days i promised. I have vvalid excuses. Here they are:

Excuse the first: The first Sunday of my not writing streak, I found out that my favorite uncle had died in a car accident. Due to my grief and sadness, i did not wish to write.

Excuse the second: On the Tuesday of his funeral, after the fact, I was rushed to the hospital for emergency take-out-your-tonsils surgery. I couldn't breathe and they were inflamed and swollen and siffocating me. I was then kept in the hospital for two days. On the Friday I was supposed to leave, they kept me in there becasue my heart murmur was acting up. A heart murmur is when the valves in your heart that are suppsoed to keep your blood going one way let the blood flow backwards and in the wrong direction. I have several. They kept me over the weekend for observation.

Excuse the third: I posted a story yesterday, thinking i was finally out of the hospital at last. I was wrong. I commenced to fall down the stairs and broke my nose. In my defense, my boyfriend was behind me and was trying make me move faster down the staris when i tripped on my shoelace (becasue i do not beleive in tying up my combat boots for i am a spaz) and fell to my broken-nosed doom.

Excuse the fourth (an important one too): I was originally never going to finish this. These past two weeks have been hard for me and i was swamped with grief and pain. I had a nice letter all written up for Susangel describing what had happened and I was just looking for the courage to send it. But then... I got her messages. And she was no longer concerned about the story. She was concerned about ME. She wanted to know if I was ok. And then Muffy The Dough Slayer PMed me and just wanted to talk, like a normal friend. And then Pilai gave me a link to show me some art she had drawn for the fic and told me she hoped i was feeling better, that she understood. And then Hami sent me his codolences and reassurances and tried to make me laugh. And then my boyfriend, after years of knowing me and af ew months of being together told me he loved me. For the first time. And i broke down. I cried and i told him i loved him too and there were yucky sticky emotions and I realized i was never alone through all of this. I had YOU GUYS.

'Cause you guys care. You really do.

So. I decided that no, i wasn't stopping. i was going to see this through to the end. So i put off studying for a test i'll probably fail, but am ok with failing, and wrote up the rest of this chapter for you. its over 6,000 words and i tried to make it drama-atic and terrifying. I tried to fullfill the prompt with my heart and soul and put all my feelings into it.

I hope you enjoy.

Nothing Is Ever Easy: Episode 8

Castiel was looking through the baby book. Well, it wasn't officially a baby book yet. But in a few weeks it would be. He just hoped Dean stuck around after it had happened to fill it with pictures of their child. He was in the bedroom again and smiled as he thought of that morning. It had been pretty close to perfect.

He flipped through a few more goofy pictures of a pregnant him and Dean and then sighed. He felt something in him shift then, the baby getting used to his insides being human and not angelically protected. He didn't know what problems would arise, but he would take it in stride.

Suddenly, Castiel felt something lurch inside of him. A blade of hot white pain flared through his body and made him take a deep breath. Maybe he just needed a glass of water or something, since it went away in a few moments. He made it as far as the living room before he was doubled over in pain and in cold sweats. He had no water to break, had no cervix to expand. He had no way to get the baby out. And this was it he thought. This was it and this was the end. This was what he had known all along.

He was going into labor.

Castiel inhaled sharply as he felt a foot press against his liver, another foot pressing against his kidneys. And was that...? Was that another foot pressing to his intestines? No, he thought, not possible. It must be a hand-

His thoughts were cut off as he felt a large spasm of pain. His body was looking for a way to get the child out. He realized for the first time that he had no idea how that would work. He had no opening that the child could properly fit through. His anus was out of the question. He was lost. How was this to work? He had no angelic powers anymore. He could not simply just zap the baby out.

And worst of all, he was alone. Alone with a thrashing baby inside him. He felt a small palm press itself against the inside of his belly, gasped as he saw a small outline of a hand, the fingers curling in.

The baby was trying to get out too.

Oh God he needed help.

"Gabe!" Castiel yelled, since the house was empty, save for him. The angel would hear, he had to hear. "GABE!" Castiel yelled, another wave of pain going through him as the baby tried to get out again, as his now male human body rebelled at a foreign object inside of it, one that the air supply was being cut off of oh so quickly. "Someone," Castiel yelled, his hands clenched at his sides where he was leaning against the living room wall. "Oh God, please," he whispered. It hurt so badly...

"Cas?" he heard Dean call nonchalantly from the kitchen, walking in through the side door. "Cas, you awake?"

Castiel felt a surge of hope go through him. Dean. Dean was here. Dean could help. Somehow. "Dean," he yelled once and then elapsed in a loud moan of pain.

The sound of several bags being dropped was heard as Dean came running into the room, green eyes wide and in awe. Castiel thought he must be quite a sight, leaned against a wall, in pain, sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Cas...what is it? What's wrong?"

Castiel opened his mouth to speak but groaned. Dean was by his side in moments, moving him to the couch. He could barely walk though, it felt like his insides were being torn out. Torn out and shredded and he felt the small scrape of young nails on his flesh, coming from the inside. Oh my the baby was trying to get out.

"Cas, Cas, oh God Cas, what?" Dean asked, his voice going up several octaves. What was wrong with Cas? What was it? Why wasn't he saying anything?

"Dean," Castiel gasped out and then squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of pain shot through him. Something was ruptured in him. Oh no. "Dean, the baby."

"What about the baby? Cas what?"

"The baby is coming," Castiel said and then yelled, the sound ripping from his throat as something else was stretched taught in him and slowly ripped. If only the baby would stop moving. But it was panicking.

Dean looked remarkably calm. "You're in labor?" Cas nodded, breathing through his nose. Sam had mentioned that it helped women in labor once. It was not working for the ex-angel. Dean nodded now too. "Ok, Cas, breathe. So here's what you need to do. The baby? You gotta mojo it out of you. Ok? Just get it out and the pain will go and the baby will be here. Simple. You ready?"

Castiel laughed faintly and Dean gave him a bad look. Cas was laughing like 2014 Cas. This was a bad sign. Castiel could only think that Dean didn't know. He stopped, inhaling sharply and then said, "I can't."

Dean froze. Something was wrong. Castiel's face contorted in pain. "What do you mean you can't? You can't or you won't?"

Castiel shook his head weekly and grasped at his stomach. "The baby is scratching and moving. My organs are..." He coughed and Dean was horrified to see blood stain his lips and teeth. "Rupturing." Castiel swallowed.

"Can't or won't Cas?" Dean asked again, kneeling in front of him, his voice high and grainy.

Castiel shook his head. "I...I can't."

And then he screamed.

Dean's eyes widened. "GABE!"

3 Hours Earlier...

The day Castiel turned human, he went into labor. No, he didn't think it would happen the same day, never mind the same moment. He could feel the change, the last of his grace slipping away, the only grace left in him from their baby. He could feel his entire body react negatively to the foreign body inside of his. He felt his stomach lurch, felt the baby move and thought that was it.

He was wrong.

But he didn't know it. Yet.

He rolled over and sighed feeling the soft sheets around him and listening to the bed squeak and he let his eyes find Dean. Who was already awake. Castiel felt as if their roles had been switched; Dean staring at Castiel sleeping instead of the other way around. But there's a smile on Dean's face and the ring on Castiel's finger reminds the ang- the man that no, none of it was a dream.

Castiel sat up and Dean's grin widened. "What?"

Dean shrugged and moved some hair from Castiel's face. "You need a hair cut is all." He shook his head and then said, "Oh and good morning." Dean placed a sweet, soft kiss on Castiel's lips as he leaned over. Castiel just sat there, basking in it. He felt like a clock was ticking in the background, but he ignored it. Dean was too important.

Dean pulled away and that sunny smile was on his face again. "So," he started, rolling out of bed and making Castiel groan because all he wanted to do today was stay in bed with Dean and cuddle and just exist. You know? "I have a surprise for you."

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" Dean nodded. "A surprise... like Crowley's surprise?"

Dean made a face as he remembered that Crowley was already planning past the babies and to their 'wedding' and 'honeymoon'. The lingerie had been horrifying. Damn demon. "No," Dean said shaking his head. "An actual, nice surprise."

Castiel rolled his eyes and sat up again, watching as Dean ran over to their shared closet and got out a box covered in blue wrapping paper. He smile brightly as he looked up to see Castiel watching him and then walked back over to the bed where he sat down and gave the package over to Cas. "There. Open it."

Castiel looked at the box, at the meticulous wrapping, how just enough tape was used, how the sparkling ribbon that was used was curled to perfection and raised a dubious eyebrow. "So... did Crowley wrap this?"

Dean made a hurt face. "What? Cas, how could you? I worked so hard and..." Dean trailed off at the annoyed look Castiel was giving him and then said, "Actually, it was Sam."

Castiel shook his head, a grin playing about his lips and slowly ripped open the wrapping paper. Dean watched in agony until finally, his fiancé disposed of the paper on the floor and opened the cardboard box in front of him. Castiel head-tilted in confusion. He reached in the box and pulled out a photo album.

"Um... Dean?" He turned the book to face Dean, you know, just to make sure Dean knew what he had put in the box. "What is this?"

Dean sighed. "Open it, you..." he trailed off rethinking his words and Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Just open it."

Castiel sighed and decided to humor his hunter -for now- and opened up to the first page of the book. He caught his breath. There on the first page was written in neat and looping script:

Dean and Castiel Winchester's
First Child

2012

It was long before he was flicking through the pages, pictures of him in various stages of pregnancy and attitude popping up on the page. In one he was only two months, in another four, making faces or laughing or smiling, or in one, just sleeping. He made his way through the entire thing and when he got to the last half, pictures of him six months pregnant popped up.

There was a picture of him and Dean on the couch, Dean feeling the baby kicking, their faces aglow with happiness, another one where they were kissing sweetly on Bobby's porch. Dean holding Cas's hand, and dorkily pointing to the engagement ring, Castiel scowling and trying to get his hand back while hiding a smile.

Castiel felt a wad of cotton stuff up his throat as his eyes got teary and his vision blurred. The last picture before there were blank pages was of him sleeping, this morning. He looked up and met Dean's eyes, eyes that were so full of hope for the future that they made Cas's chest ache. "The rest is blank so we can fill it with pictures of the baby. Any day now, you know," Dean said softly.

And Castiel nodded, because that was all he could do.

Dean had left soon after that with Sam. They were going to go grocery shopping and Sam had gotten stuck with the list and was forcing Dean to go. After a whole of threats and reassurances, Dean left knowing Castiel was in good hands. Soon after that, Gabe left saying he was going to have a sneak-peek on Heaven and make sure that good ol' Balthie was doing alright. Crowley disappeared with the excuse of having to go find his 'pup' (read: man-eating hellhound) and change his water, and Bobby asked Cas if it would be alright for him to step out for a moment and have a quick chat with the sheriff. Cas had said why not? He would be fine.

And then, of course, as if to prove him wrong, it had happened.

Now...

Castiel gasped again, the pain indescribable. Dean held onto him, moving him onto the couch and yelling with all his might, "GABE! Gabriel you son of a bitch, I swear to God, if you don't get your ass down here-"

There was a pop and the pressure changed in the room as Castiel, coughed and stained his teeth red with blood again. In front of them, eyes closed, was Gabe, a lollipop in his mouth. "Geez, ok Winchester. Calm down." He opened his eyes. "What is- HOLY SHIT. CASTIEL!" He rushed over to where Castiel was writhing in pain and Den was holding him. "What the hell is going on here?"

Dean looked like he was in pain too. "The babies...and Cas... and he's..." He took a deep breath, pushing down the panic that was threatening to over flow and take control. "He can't get the baby out."

Gabe's eyes widened. "Holy shit, you're in labor?" His response was Castiel yelling again, the skin of his stomach expanding and contracting unnaturally. "I'll take that as a yes."

Dean swallowed as Castiel yelled again, his stomach lurching as he saw moving shapes beneath Cas's skin. Bruises were blossoming all over his front and the worst part? They weren't healing. "Gabe, God Gabe help him. How do we help him?"

Gabriel shook his head. "I need help. Hold on. I'm gonna get Crowley. Dean, call Sam and Bobby. We need them too. Cas." He knelt in front of his brother. "Hang on Cassie. We're gonna get you through this." He turned to Dean who was locked in place, staring at Castiel as he gripped at the pillows on the couch. "NOW WINCHESTER! MOVE, MOVE!"

Dean was in the kitchen in moments, phone to his ear, Sam already speaking loudly on the other end, and Gabriel disappeared with a nod. Castiel was left coughing up more blood, his whole entire body on fire. He screamed, honest-to-God screamed, when he felt a bone snap, a rib by the feel of pain in his chest. The sound of it breaking set a crack ricocheting off the walls and Dean was in there in a moment, having heard. He gasped at the sight of the bone poking against Castiel's skin, straining against it, a dot of blood forming.

He had finished talking to Bobby and Sam, the two of them praying to Gabe so he could zap them over there faster, and now his heart thudded harder against his chest. He knelt in front of his fiancé, who was shaking with pain and vibrating with misery. "Cas, oh God, Cas, what's going on? What aren't you telling me?"

Castiel wished he could tell Dean everything, wished he didn't have to go out with a crude bang, but all he could manage was a squeak of pain as something else inside him broke. The next moment though brought Gabe, Sam, Bobby and Crowley all into the living room. Sam's eyes widened at the sight, Bobby's narrowed and Crowley only shook his head and muttered, "That doesn't look good at all."

"That baby needs to come out," Gabe spat to Crowley, who nodded. "How the hell do we do that though?"

"Can't you just poof it out Gabe?" Dean asked, hand carding through Castiel's hair as the being before him squirmed and moaned and blood dribbled out of his mouth.

Gabriel, to his surprise, shook his head no. "I can't touch that thing. It's not natural. Dean, it's a hybrid. My power won't work on it."

"We need to get it out," Dean snapped as Castiel moaned again. "We need to get it out now, Gabe. NOW! It's killing him!" Dean's whole day was going down the drain and he couldn't even stop it.

Gabe nodded. "I know. Breathe Winchester." And then he froze. "What was that?"

Dean was about to say that he hadn't said anything, but then he realized that Gabe was reading Castiel's mind. "What, what is it?"

"Are you crazy, Castiel?" Gabriel yelled, face white with horror. "No. No. That will KILL you, you idiot!" There was a moment of silence in which Castiel thought something and Gabe froze again as he listened, a sad look on his face. He then nodded. And then he turned to Sam. "Sam, I need you to go into the bathroom and get as many towels as possible. Bobby, go get blankets and something Castiel gat bite on." As the two left to their duty, Gabe looked to Crowley. "Crowley...you still got that demon blade on you?"

Dean jumped to his feet, a protective stance in front of Castiel. "What the fuck are you talking about? What are you planning on doing?" He knew, oh he knew and they knew he knew, and he knew they knew he knew. But he didn't want to believe it. No. NO.

"You know exactly what, Winchester," Crowley said, a twinge of underlying sadness in his voice.

Dean choked on tears he wouldn't let come. "No. NO. You are not cutting him open. NO." He turned to Cas. "Please, Cas, please. I'm begging you; try to use your mojo-"

"You still haven't told him?" It was Crowley and Gabriel wasn't trying to stop him, not now that he could hear Sam coming back from the bathroom and Bobby from upstairs. Crowley turned to Castiel. "Tell him now, or I will."

Dean froze. What? He turned to Cas. "What? Tell me what? Cas. Tell me what?" Castiel breathed out harshly, panting as he tried to sit up, something snapping an emitting a yell from him and a gasp from Dean. "Cas-"

"I'm human, Dean," he gasped out.

Dean froze. He just... froze. Cas was human. Cas was human. He was a human male with a living baby inside of him. Unnatural. Human. His angel was an angel no longer. Human. That's why he couldn't get the baby out. And they were going to open him up...

"No," Dean gasped, falling to his knees beside his an- his fiancé. "No, no Cas, that's not supposed...that isn't..."

"I was turning human as the pregnancy went along," Castiel wheezed through another waved of pain. "I just...I didn't tell you...didn't know how, or when..."

"God Cas," Dean murmured, tears finally running down his face. He got up and turned to the mystical beings behind him. "Don't open him."

"We have to." Crowley folded his arms.

"There has to be another way," Dean insisted, tears running freely.

Gabe shook his head. "There isn't."

"You're going to kill him!" Dean exclaimed as Sam walked in, dumping the towels on the coffee table, Bobby behind him.

"What?" the younger Winchester asked.

"We have to open Castiel up," Crowley explained gently. "He's no longer an angel. There is a good chance he will not survive."

"Don't fucking say that!" Dean exclaimed. "Don't!" He turned to Castiel. "Please, Cas. Say no. We'll find another way, we'll-"

"Dean, can't you see the baby is killing him?" Sam asked quietly. "He has a better chance of surviving if we take it out."

Dean was about to protest again when he caught a look from Castiel. The look. "You knew," he said. "All this time you knew you might die. Cas." He took Cas's hand in his. "Cas, no. Please. No."

Instead, Gabe said to him, "Either you help Winchester, or I'm zapping you to Australia, because either way, this is going down."

Dean looked into Castiel's eyes, looked at the moving, bruising mass that used to be his stomach and then nodded. "What do I do?" He voice cracked.

Gabriel let out a sigh of relief. "Move him to the dining room table. Bobby put a blanket under him. Then take off his shirt. Sam, bring the towels." He swallowed. "There will be blood tonight."

Dean swallowed too and gently lifted up Castiel, the man sobbing as he was picked up. "So sorry," Dean kept murmuring. "Love you, sorry. So sorry."

Bobby laid the softest blanket he had out, the one Karen had knit on her own, and Dean laid Castiel on top of it and then took his shirt the rest of the way off. Sam laid the towels on a chair and Crowley and Gabe trailed in. Castiel was shaking, falling apart, as Bobby put a strong piece of ivory into hiss mouth, telling him to bite down. He did, leaving bloody smears behind.

He was so scared, he realized. He was going to die, he was sure of it, and he couldn't even talk enough to say 'I love you' to Dean. He hurt too much. Everything was moving inside him and he thought he was going to die before they got the baby out, and that wasn't acceptable. The baby would live. Even if he didn't. He held on tighter.

Crowley pulled from the inside of his coat a very sharp and thing knife. He gazed at it for a moment before handing it hilt first to Gabriel. The angel took it and took a shaky breath. "Crowley, Bobby, stand off to the side, will ya? I'll hand the baby to you so I can...so I can hurry and heal Cas." Before he dies, was left unsaid, but understood by all.

Bobby and Crowley moved off to the left and Sam stood at Gabe's right. Dean was on Cas's left, his hand in his fiancé's, who was squeezing it so tight, he had lost circulation. Gabe was on Cas's right, pressed up to the edge of the table, blade in his shaking hand. He took a deep breath and steadied it; he couldn't risk wiggling and hitting something important like an organ or the baby.

And then, he cut.

It was a small incision across the pale expanse of Castiel's belly, right where it bulged near his bellybutton, but it was enough to bleed. Blood spilled out of the five inch cut, sliding quickly down Castiel's side and seeping into the blanket beneath him. Everyone froze. Including Castiel. His eyes widened as he felt the cold blade bite into his flesh and he suddenly couldn't move.

"He's in shock," Crowley said absentmindedly, too in shock himself to control his mouth.

After that, Gabriel snapped out of his own shock-bubble and swallowed as he dragged the blade across the rest of Castiel's stomach, above his belly button.

Castiel snapped out of it. He screamed, bucking, the blade going in too deep and nicking something, blood squirting out and splattering Gabriel's face. "HOLD HIM!" the archangel screamed to the men around him, who all rushed forward. Sam grabbed one of Castiel's legs, Bobby on the other one, while dean and Crowley grabbed his arms. He thrashed, screaming at the top of his lungs, as Gabriel, face slashed with crimson blood, dragged the blade across his skin, like he was cutting stake, the sound of flesh ripping filling the air.

Blood pooled around Castiel's body, soaking into the blanket and making the hard wood table slippery bellow. Dean gripped so hard he knew he'd leave bruises, and he looked away, unable to watch as Gabriel butchered the love of his life to save their child. He felt a spray of blood hit him and he turned his head as he heaved.

Dean caught his breath as Crowley took over Castiel's other arm for him using his demonic strength to keep him down and then he looked up to Gabriel who, for some reason, had stopped. "Gabe, you son of a bitch, don't stop! Keep..." His voice trailed off as he froze and saw what Gabe saw. A hand, curled into a fist, was sticking out of Castiel's torn open stomach. A right hand. And beside it, also curled into a fist: another right hand. Dean felt his eyes pop from his head as Castiel finally stopped thrashing.

The pain Castiel was feeling was starting to subside. Which wasn't good. A numbness started to consume him from the feet up and he felt his head get fuzzy, blood loss, he thought...

And then he heard Dean say beside him, "Holy fuck, does our baby have two right hands?" There was a little bit of horror and hysteria in his voice and Castiel wanted to add, 'Might have three feet too,' though he knew it wouldn't make circumstances better.

Dean rushed over to Gabe's side, the others still holding onto Castiel, unaware of his weakening state, and repeated himself. "Does our baby have two right hands?"

Gabriel snapped out of it and shook his head, nodding to Bobby to let go of Cas and get a blanket. There was a strange expression on his face. "No," he said rolling up his sleeves, making Dean want to point to the two right hands on front of him. "No. Your baby had one right hand." He paused and Dean was about to speak when he continued and said, "And your other baby has one right hand. And they both have one left one."

The room went quiet as Gabe's words hung in the air. Dean felt like the world was spinning though. His throat was too dry and he watched as Castiel's blood slid down his hips and into his jeans, staining and soaking them. Nothing quite making sense in his mind. "Twins?" he finally whispered. They were having twins?

They were having twins.

Gabe nodded as Bobby brought over a blanket and he reached in and gripped something inside the former angel, who no one had noticed had stopped moving, pulling it out. An infant the size of a human preemie slid out without a sound, leaving a trail of blood on Castiel's stomach. It was a boy. Bobby was handed the infant, Gabe's bloody hands settling it in the old hunter's blanket covered hands. He turned and reached into Castiel again and gripped something else, pulling out another infant the same size as the other, maybe a bit smaller. This one came out without a sound also. It was a girl. She was handed to Bobby.

Suddenly, Sam spoke into the silence. "Cas? Cas. CAS!"

Castiel felt wrong. And he started to slip away.,,

Dean snapped out of it. He turned to the former angel lying on the table, horrified to see organs out of place, bones poking out of the opening in his belly, blood everywhere. He absently noticed that they were all covered in it. Castiel was deathly pale, his eyes half-lidded, his breathing shallow. Every beat of his heart pumped blood over the sides of his huge gaping wound and down his sides, onto the table.

"Cas?" Dean said, voice soft. Then louder as he realized what was happening. "CAS!" He turned to Gabe, who was staring. "HEAL HIM!" he yelled. "God-damnit Gabriel, HEAL HIM!"

That seemed to snap the archangel out of it and he set his hands to either side of the man's torso and closed his eyes, pushing with all his strength and might. A golden glow lighted around his hands as he started to push healing magic into the now-human being. But healing had never been Gabe's forte. Oh how it hadn't been Gabe's forte.

Dean watched as the organs started to right themselves, the bones painstakingly sliding back into their correct places. He tried not to watch but couldn't help it as the man in front of him got paler and paler by the moment. It was no use. No matter how much Gabe tried to heal, Castiel was dying faster.

And then, the most horrible words ever uttered to a new father: "Shit! Dean, the twins aren't breathing."

Dean spun around. Crowley, Sam and Bobby were all focused on the tiny humanoid bodies on the small table in front of them that they had dragged in from the kitchen. The babies were unwrapped from the blankets, small and waxen and Dean felt something wither away and die inside him as they lay there, eyes closed, hands shriveled up beside them, not moving, not breathing. He knew there had been something wrong when they hadn't made a sound when Gabe had pulled them from the womb.

Oh God his family was dying. They were dying and no one but Dean would be left. No one but Dean.

Everyone was always leaving him.

Dean stood there, frozen to the spot as Sam leaned over and started to perform infant CPR. He remembered watching something on TV about this happening sometimes and the babies being able to be saved with it. He knew it wouldn't work. The infants remained unresponsive as Sam's index and middle fingers of both hands pushed down over both their tiny hearts. He even leaned over and gave them tiny breaths. Nothing was happening. They stayed frozen where they were. Not moving. Not breathing. Not living.

"Please," Sam was begging, tears down his face as Bobby and Crowley tried to help in any way they could. "Please breathe, guys. Try. TRY!"

Dean couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't comprehend his life slipping away. Suddenly Dean heard a groan and turned around back to the table to see Cas still with an open stomach, dry blood caking his sides and entire chest. He was staring straight forward. Gabriel was hunched over. He had been the one groaning.

And suddenly, it all clicked and he snapped.

Dean ran over to Castiel's side as he heard Sam pleading with tiny corpses, trying to tell himself that none of this was real, that it wasn't happening, that he was just dreaming. He gripped Castiel's arm, and the man slowly turned his head to him. He didn't speak. Dean didn't think he could.

"Cas," Dean whispered. "Please Cas, don't, no. Please. Keep your eyes open. Please." Without waiting for an answer, Dean turned to Gabriel. "Go help my kids. GO!"

The archangel wearily made his way over, his head spinning, any moment he would pass out, but before then, he was going to at least try. He leaned over the both of them, not bothering to stop the others and their breaths and compressions and let a little glow go around his fingers, which he pressed to their foreheads.

Dean hung onto Cas like he was the one dying. "Cas, stay with me, Cas you can do it." He checked the wound. It wasn't that deep anymore, something he could easily stitch up. He guessed that Gabe had made sure that everything was in its right place or he wouldn't have closed up so much. But Dean was willing to bet that Gabe hadn't been able to make much of something: blood. Cas had lost so much blood, the hemoglobin sticking everywhere, even to Dean's fingers.

He carded his hands through Castiel's hair. "Hang on Cas. Please. We can stitch you up. We can make it better. I promise. Just hang on Cas." The angel tried to swallow. He failed and Dean's heart broke to pieces.

In the background Dean heard Sam counting and sobbing as he willed his niece and nephew to breathe. Dean turned and seeing the small forms unmoving, felt a numbness start to consume him. He turned back to Cas, whose eyes were once again half-lidded. "Cas NO!" he exclaimed.

The angel didn't seem to hear him as his eyes stayed as they were. The only way Dean could tell that he was alive at all was the slow and painful rise and fall of his chest that was spaced almost a minute in-between breaths.

"Don't let go, babe," Dean murmured. "Please. I love you. I love you, don't leave me Cas. No. NO!" Dean felt the hot tears race down his face, his vision blurring. But he didn't want it to blur; he wanted to see Cas.

Behind him, Gabriel's eyes rolled back into his head and he fell face-first to the floor. Sam didn't even look down. He just kept pumping and crying and trying, Bobby and Crowley following his lead.

They wouldn't give up. They refused to say that it was over.

Dean lifted Castiel's body to his chest and hugged it. Hugged it as he heard Cas struggle to speak and fail, until he gasped out, "Dean."

He pulled him away and looked into Cas's eyes. "Cas, oh God Cas, I love you. I love you, hang on. Please, hang on!"

As his eyes started to close, Castiel murmured, "Love you." And then they closed completely and his body shuddered.

And Dean was left holding a corpse.

"Cas?" Dean waited for a response. "CAS!" he bellowed.

And then he cracked. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cas, no, oh God no, Cas. NO." Dean held the corpse to him, shuddering himself, bury his face into the cold shoulder. Behind him, Sam gave up, stepping back and staring unblinkingly at the two corpses on the table. He shuddered one before dropping to the floor, and dissolving into tears of horror and pain.

Bobby looked away and Crowley wrapped his arms around him, turning his head away also. They couldn't watch.

Dean rocked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He held onto Cas's body, already so limp and cold. He rocked back and forth and back and forth and hyperventilated, unable to make himself cry because he couldn't believe this had happened. He couldn't comprehend what was happening. He couldn't make himself understand. He couldn't. He really couldn't.

And on the side, Bobby and Crowley feared that this would be what made the hunter snap for good, break so bad, they couldn't fix him.

"No, no, no, Cas, no," he kept muttering as Sam cried on the floor, his body heaving, screams coming from his mouth, unable to shed that horrible grief. He couldn't stop the tears.

"No, no, no, Cas, no, no, no," Dean said, getting louder as the numbness started to dissolve and the pain started to seep in. "No, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Pain exploded in his chest as he shook and held onto Castiel harder. He dropped the body to the table then, blood covering him where he had been holding the dead thing close to him.

He gazed at that pale white face, not bloated yet, but it soon would be. He stared until his eyes watered. And then he looked behind him.

Sam was on the floor. The twins were...

Dean turned to the side and threw up.

He didn't want to look up. He didn't want to unbend himself and look at the pitying faces of his family. He didn't want to face a world where there would be no Cas, no Winchester twins. He didn't want to wake up everyday to an empty bed, an empty nursery. He didn't want to live without them, Cas, the twins.

Twins.

They were going to have twin terrors running around the house, trying to get at Bobby's books, trying to find Crowley's pup (read: man-eating hellhound). They were going to have twins who would bug Sammy to show them how a gun worked, or pester Gabe until he gave them a ride on his wings or sent them to the time when dinosaurs were around. They were going to have twins who would beg him to read them bed time stories, and tuck them in, kiss them goodnight. He and Cas were going to worry when their daughter got a boyfriend, or their son started driving.

But Cas and the twins were gone.

They were all gone.

Dean stared at his shaking hands. He didn't want to have to get up and wrap up three dead bodies. He didn't want to have to burn them. he didn't want to have to let them go without ever having them. He couldn't think, couldn't feel beyond the horrible pain in his heart. He couldn't get up and do what he had to do. Couldn't touch them. Couldn't look at them.

He couldn't do it.

Bobby and Crowley weren't moving either. They stared at Dean, who was staring at the floor unblinking, at Sam who had quieted down and was sitting unmoving on the floor, face red and puffy from crying, at Gabe who was unconscious and might not wake up in a while, exhausted and out of everything. Bobby hurt at seeing them hurt, knew it would be to damn painful for them to undo and get rid of the nursery upstairs, that he and Crowley would probably have to do it. He didn't want to. Crowley never thought he'd ever feel this much, couldn't remember the last time he had. He hated that his first big emotion after love and care, was sadness and an emptiness he couldn't shake.

Everyone was too busy wallowing in pain and sorrow, so no one really noticed when the twins started to glow.

Until, like the fucking miracle it was, two ragged gasps broke through the silence and twin, shrill cries echoed in their ears.

Castiel heard something. He needed to wake up. Crying, was it

Sam looked up at the table slowly, coming to his feet as if he were crazy, or possibly gone over the edge and into 'Mental Insanity Land'. But

Bobby was looking over in utter shock, and Crowley's eyes had never been so wide, his heart had never pounded so quickly.

And Dean? Dean's head snapped up and he turned around in the same motion to see two wrinkly, slowly-turning pink babies wriggling around on the coffee table, hands grabbing at air, reaching up and clawing, tiny legs kicking. Some kind of ice melted in his chest as he took an incredulous step forward, as the others ran over to cover them- God forbid after everything they had been through the babies catch cold. But something stopped him.

A sharp gasp from behind.

Dean turned on his heel, the sounds of Sam crying all over again melting into the background. He walked over to the still body on the table and then gasped himself.

Castiel's eyes opened.

And sapphire and jade met once again.

"Cas?" His voice was so quiet and broken.

And then, tired and weak and in need of a good rest: "Dean?

And there it is folks. Only one more chappie and an epilogue left. I hope you enjoyed this and I wholly hope then next chapter isn;t too long in coming. I'm sorry for the hold up last time guys.

Dean: Wow, just...wow.

Cas: i am quite speechless also.

Sam: i'm not even going to point out that he said something, so techinically, not speechless, because...wow.

Gabe: O.O

Eve: Ditto, boiz. O.O

Me: 'Wow' the chapter or 'Wow' what happened to me this past fortnight?

*everyone stops and thinks*

Dean&Cas&Sam&Gabe&Eve: Both.

*blushes* Thank you guys.

Note: If you want to see Pilali's picture, go onto DeviantArt and seach for Akenia. Then, hers will be the baby boy angel on a cloud. That was what Dean and Cas's son would look like in her mind. She just got her wish! Please check it out, she worked hard! Thank you!