XXI
Every Start Has An End
"I don't get something," I complained at the back of the writing Espada, "you don't care about anything, and when I say anything, I mean it. People, life, death, orders, all that sort of stuff. Then why do you have such a passion for tea?"
"You have a pathetically small brain. It simply is not capable of thinking through such complex thoughts."
I raised an eyebrow. That was always the answer to all questions: 'You are not able of understanding. No, it isn't possible, don't be an idiot' or even the best one, saved for the most annoyed of times; 'trash'. The teapot reflected my face right back at me from my hands.
"Yeah? Okay. If I have such a small brain, then why doesn't it just short circuit right now so I'd drop this tea pot on the floor? Or maybe even better, it would be more likely to decide to leave and never come back?"
"Don't be an idiot," came one of Ulquiorra's most favored responses. I envisioned sticking my tongue out at him, too bad I was a tad too old for that one. He sat back and re-read his just finished report.
"Give me a reason to continue to work for you that doesn't end up in me dying."
Ulquiorra sighed, "you would have to go live out in the endless desert of Hueco Mundo."
"That doesn't sound too bad," I replied, my grin growing. Porcelain crashing to the floor would have been nice, but it was hard to clean up. "Hey! You didn't answer my question. Why tea?" Give it to the master of elusiveness to avoid my question.
Carefully, Ulquiorra made his newly finished report into a perfectly folded rectangle, "Hollows, Arrancars, the Espada, the fracción. They have no hearts, no life principle, no soul. I cannot feel passion."
"Now that's stupid, I think, even if we can't feel, we can think that we can. Sometimes, I can almost remember what it was like, you know, before, and then I act on it. That's the closest we can get. I know that I feel annoyed at you. It doesn't mean that I truly am. It's just the illusion of the idea," I sounded smarter than normal. Did someone slip something into my food or something?
"You admit it, you, therefore, can feel." He mused, took the paper between his two fingers and lifted it into the air.
Setting the tea pot next to the old one, I caught his attention, "Do you hate me?"
"An irrelevant question," he paused studying the paper.
"Come on, don't lie. I drive you nuts almost on a daily bases and you are being forced to train me. I know you hate that. Just admit it and let's clear the air," he frowned.
"'Hate' is a strong and broadly used word, 'detest' is perhaps more accurate," For the first time, I think that Ulquiorra was humoring me. I could hear all the history books being rewritten.
"There. A feeling. You feel detest towards me. I would say that's mutual."
He slid back the chair and rose, "I said that Arrancar cannot feel. Deliver this to Grimmjow, it is the reply to his request for boom boxes."
Ulquiorra Schiffer brushed past and dumped the letter in my hands. I could only imagine the big fat 'no' inside.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I replied at his back.
"Idiot fracción," was the response I got as he shimmered away.
"Stupid Espada."
"Stupid Espada," I told the cup of tea as I set my chin on the counter. I highly doubt the tea or anybody in the coffee shop knew what I was talking about. Nor, probably, did anybody care at 11:30 at night.
Why did I care? He didn't. Yet, here I was, waiting for closing time and once again the Espada slithered into my thoughts. It didn't even matter. The winter war had been done over for 32 days. According to my information, all the Espada died roughly a day before that, meaning for 33 days, the Quarto had been dead.
It was annoying and stupid. I wanted him dead, and now presto! my wish was granted. I practically gave Urahara the key to the lock that opened up the world of Hueco Mundo. I wanted it. I wanted him dead.
I had squeezed through a rock and a hard place, I should be enjoying the rewards. Nope, I couldn't.
I checked the cardboard tube in the dark corner behind the counter. It hadn't grown legs and walked off. Darn, I wished it had. Yawning, I set my forehead against the cool counter. I was going to do the thing that no employee was supposed to do on the job. That would be to fall sleep. The zzzs over took me and the familiar annoying dream caught me in its grasp.
Running through the halls of Hueco Mundo wasn't the greatest thing to do most of the time. There were always rampaging Espada and other Arrancars in a hurry. Between the two, you had a 100% chance of crashing into one of them. The rampaging Espada will tear you apart and the other Arrancar might just do the same. It was better to walk.
Even in my dream, this unspoken rule still applied. Navigating through halls, I managed to retrace my steps though the semi-white walls. Why semi white? Because every couple feet, blood had been splashed onto the walls or it had caved into the other room. This really wasn't the time for redecorating.
I wandered down another hall. The halls grayed and I ran my fingers on it slowly as I descended. Nnoitra would never drag me through here again. The walls crackled to black. This time around, I could really admire the change in scenery. Aizen always had a sense for the dramatic. Nobody would dare to say it. Paint an entire place white and then just have one room black, impressive.
It took a shove and a kick but the door complained open. The floor was clean of my leavings and I couldn't help but think of my dying moments as an Arrancar. I wasn't here for that. Glancing up, I looked at all of the hundreds of swords that were somewhere above my head. I wasn't here for that either. Walking around to the chair, I went to the separated wall.
There they were, all neatly lined up, like an ironic display case.
The Espada's swords.
The cry of one of the chairs woke me up and my hand jumped to my waist. No sword, but would I want to defend a coffee shop from an intruder? Actually, it was quite the opposite. I knew the guy, his head in his hands, leaning up against the counter, yep, I knew him.
"You're up late, Ichigo. What's up?" I tried to toss off my dream. This guy had gone through worst than me. I still had my powers, though I didn't dare even think of using them. The orange haired teen looked up.
"I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to keep anybody else up…" his eyes narrowed, "You're Urahara's cousin…Soleena?"
I happened to hate that name.
"Sola."
"Oh right, yeah, sorry," He rubbed his eyes, yawned and leaned even further into the table.
"What can I get you?" I yawned in response, "I don't serve caffeine at eleven at night before you ask."
That got a tiny laugh, "Fine then, anything."
I went back to fix him something. My dream kept playing in the background of my thoughts like it was one instant reply. I knew it all too well.
They were all quiet without their masters carrying them around. Really very creepy, like bodies without heads. I wandered to the one that I wanted to see. It was closure of types, I supposed. The blue hilt caught my attention; Murciélago glared from its spot. I heard how Ulquiorra had simply given out from his wounds. He was stronger than that…why did he go down without a fight?
My fingers touched the blade. Soulless Jerk. Even though I had backstabbed him in the end, there was a tiny bit of truth there. Ulquiorra and I had become partners in crime. Well, maybe not partners, per say, but just more of companions of types? I shook my head and smiled. He was still annoying.
I took the sword from the wall. This was worth a try. Maybe even if not that, it would bug me until I tried anyways.
Nine swords glimmered on.
"So tell me, what really brings you to the coffee shop for the third night in a row with the same sad excuse?" I passed him the steaming beverage and he sniffed it up.
"My excuse isn't sad, it's the truth," He huffed.
"Okay," I grinned, taking my own tea in my hands, "I can guess, right?"
"No."
I swirled the teabag in my mug, managing not to send the contents flying. The ex-shinigami still didn't know that he was talking to an ex-Arrancar. Oh the irony. Ichigo took a sip and probably burned half his tongue.
"I haven't seen any of your friends around lately. You usually gaggling around with them," I hit the nail straight on the head. The smoke from his cup went flying away.
"Nah, I don't think that I will be hanging out with them anymore," He mumbled.
"…not strong enough, eh?" I pushed my luck. It shoved back.
His eyes lit up, "I am strong enough! I just don't want to."
"I am sure you are. If you owe them for something, I bet that they will understand. Come on, that's what friends are for," This was a big guess, never had a real, real friend before. At least, not one that didn't try to destroy me in the end or would do the above if he knew about my past.
"I don't owe them anything."
"Ah, what is it then?"
Las Noches crawled away from my sight. The empty desert replaced the scene. Well, it wasn't quite as empty as I had originally thought. Three things sat on this plane: A rock, a bush and an Espada.
"Wow Ulquiorra! I love what you've done with the place," I said sarcastically as I walked over to him, "the dead plant is really a nice touch."
"Silence, trash."
I closed in to see just how broken Ulquiorra had become. He looked as if he had nothing left in the world for him, no driving force, just letting the world slip through his fingers. It was sad. My anger dashed away with the moon above my head. He didn't even look up as I came within slashing distance. Even the air around him was depressing.
I traced his point of view, "Do you have to water it?"
No," he coldly replied.
"Can I touch it?"
"No."
"Can I…look at it?"
"No."
"Can I breathe on it?"
Finally, his customary annoyance flashed into existence, "No, you may not do anything."
It was like any other bush, white, stony and dead, "It really isn't that special."
"You truly understand nothing, or nor will you ever comprehend anything. You are worthless waste of time," Was the response I got.
"Wow. Where did Ulquiorra go and who was sitting in front of me?" I smirked, glancing back to the bush and then at the illusionary Espada.
"Ulquiorra Schiffer is dead."
"Fine, maybe his is, but if this you is just going to brew over a piece of dead plant life for the next who-knows-how-long, then he has truly been defeated," I snapped and then softened, "I'm kinda disappointed, honestly."
"I am now nothing in a world of nothing."
"That's the spirit," I muttered and we both stared at the bush.
"I…just can't help them anymore," Ichigo responded and took other sip.
I checked the time, ten minutes still closing, "I bet you can still help them."
I didn't know why I was trying to help him, but I was. He reminded me a little bit of a little fracción I used to know. He sighed.
"I said I can't. I'll just be dead weight."
Slamming my cup to the counter, I made the remaining awake people in the shop jump, "Then get strong again. There is no harm in that. Work hard and maybe with a bit of effort, you can help again."
Silly person, here I was giving advice to get stronger and yet, I had ran and hidden behind the strong. Ah well, there was no harm in a few words. If he regained his powers, the shinigami would be happy. If I broke into mine, I had a bet the shinigami would be a little less happy.
"I don't think that I could help again if I tried. They'll just have to go on without me. I can't protect them."
"You still can."
"How? He growled.
"I digress," Ulquiorra Schiffer cut into his own silence, "I should have killed you permanently when I had the chance."
I laughed a bit. "Probably."
"I wouldn't be here and then Lord Aizen would have conquered the Soul Society."
Carefully, I took a seat next to him, "Did you know that he killed Harribel when she was one of the last Espada alive?"
"Harribel was weak, she made attachments. She depended on the people around her. Lord Aizen made the correct choice."
"No, he cut her down because he said that he realized that the Espada as a whole were weak. That they couldn't stand with him. That they were inferior to himself," That guy really had an ego, I was happy that he was somewhere deep in a hole.
"…You are mistaken."
"How can that be? How can't that be? Even if you can't protect them or whatever, you can still help them. Be there. Make them laugh. Defend them in any way that you can. Don't just turn your back on them," I didn't know where this was coming from. "Even if you can't physically protect them," my anger fell away as I sighed, "please, try to be there, so they don't have to stand there on their own, without anybody to catch them if they fall."
Now, it was our turn to break into silence. I stared at my tea. That was a habit of Ulquiorra's just looking at the hot water. I guess it was therapeutic. Or maybe it was just nice to look at tea.
"I don't think that I can do that. I don't think that I can…pretend that I am happy."
I looked up into his eyes, "I never said you had too."
"Why would I lie? That's what happened Ulquiorra, Harribel died and right after that Aizen was captured."
His eyes narrowed, "Get out."
I turned to face him completely on, "Why did you play Aizen's game? Huh? You made me feel like I was really part of your fraccion. That I belonged somewhere finally. You even taught me to fight."
"Lord Aizen ordered me to. I had no choice."
"Oh, I think you had a choice."
"Just try to be happy," I looked up at the clock, "and maybe you will be someday."
He smiled, "kill two birds with one stone."
"…Or strike down one ibis," the familiar words came back to me. I shook my head at his look and stood.
"Get out of here. Its closing time and I'm sick of playing the wisdom role."
"If you are inferring that I had…a feeling on friendship with you? That was never the case."
"Why make me Higher Fraccion then?"
"It was Aizen's diversion to keep your mind off of Urahara until he could deal with you."
"Oh."
Ichigo took the tea and stretched his legs, "Thanks…for the advice."
I laughed as best I could, "I know nothing about you people. I just try my best to get by and stay out of trouble."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothin'." I turned away to dump away the leftover coffee. "But if you keep coming to this shop gloomy all the time, then I am not going to let you in. You're depressing my sleeping customers."
It was true, almost everybody else in the shop was asleep.
Waving, the ex-shinigami left the shop . I never saw him there again. After I cleared out the coffee shop, I turned to my tubular object.
"Disappointed aren't you?" There was a tinge of amusement in his voice, "It was always orders. All lies and illusions."
"I somehow don't believe it."
Ulquiorra looked at me for the first time, "I don't need your insolence. Leave. Don't come back."
"Sound familier, eh?" I got to my feet, "Fine, I'll leave. But I'm taking you with me, so then I can come torture you whenever I want."
"Trash."
"See yah," I let his world slip away.
I took the cardboard tube in my hands. The shop was empty now of all life. Popping of the top, I reached inside and drew the weapon. Murciélago glimmered silver in the light. Why did I take it? I could have easily taken my own blade, but instead, I took his.
It made sense though, an Arrancar's soul was split into two, the body and the sword. It was only logical that the outside part would return back to the other half once it died. My hand hovered across the silver edge, still sharp.
I placed Ulquiorra's sword away for safekeeping back in the tube. Maybe one day, I would get through to him. Setting the key in the lock, I headed home.
I looked back at the place that I had once called home. Las Noches sat, crumbled and broken under the unending moon. It was going to stay there. Alone. Forever. Maybe the hollows would find it, probably destroyed even more.
Standing back, I tried to muster any feeling for the building that I had taken care of for a year of my life.
Nah.
Nothing.
Shifting the grip of Ulquiorra's sword, I entered the gartanga for the last time. Thank goodness too. In my opinion, I dwelled way too long in the past. There was nobody and nothing there for me.
So, I stepped forward, through the sapping blackness and into a new life.
Pretty good incentive, eh?
The End.
.
Strike Down the Ibis
Written: May 23rd 2011-August 4th 2011
Posted: June 19th 2011-November 25th 2011
Quinhywvar
The Dedication:
My Parents:
They are first on the list for more than just the reason that they gave birth to me. They have supported every tiny toddler step that I have taken towards a life full of writing. They have made this possible. Thus they get the first coveted spot. Thanks you two!
Rose202:
I could go on for hours why my beta-er is on this list but here is the boiled down version. Rose has helped me grow into a better writer. She's pointed out the good/bad/monstrous/plain stupid things that happened in a gentle way and poked me in the right way. Besides that she's often gave me the encouragement to make me go on writing. As just starting out as a editor from a land far-far-away she's turned into a friend and a mentor. Thank you.
Nizuna Fujieda:
Who has reviewed almost every single chapter since the beginning, I have to just call that impressive.
All the other reviewers:
September Sky, Shattered Darknesss, AizheNi, Rose202, Aralorn, metsfan101, Vheeri The Succubus, sesshy13, RandomFan, DemonColours, amaya-tsuki-chan, Anonymous, callmeBaby'08' & g0ldf1sh101
Other people
My Best Friend (she keeps me laughing), the household dog (aka the lap warmer), Carl (the coffee shop guy that gave me the idea for the overabundance of tea), my favorite fanfiction stories (inspiration, enough said yes?), the Bleach Wiki (raided for information too many times to know), my laptop (faithful and ever non-crashing), Cherry (the car, shipped me around places), the person that found caffeine (I will hug you to death), Peter the Second (my printer), everybody who works at my usual coffee shops (who served me over 174 cups of tea over the duration of this story), my moved away friend (inspired much of Sola) and of course, everybody/thing that I have ever come in contact with! Good enough? I think so. :)
If you read though all that I am impressed.
The Final Blabberings:
I will keep this short. I promise.
Strike Down the Ibis means so much to me, Sola and the story has led me back into writing. This in itself is more important to me than anything else. I am going to do my best to keep on this path because I am so happy. Sola, herself, is one of the best characters that I have ever created and I am happy that I could share her with all of you.
I am going to explain this the same way that I explained it to Rose. There is no sequel to this story, nor will there ever be. Here's the reason why. Think of everything that Sola has gone through. She been betrayed, killed and had her whole world dumped upside down. I believe that the best thing for me to do it let Sola, this finally happy human Sola, go. Maybe someday, she'll get a place of her own and have a pet goldfish named Taco. I imagine, after many years and she matures some more, for her to met someone that she could be happy with. Don't think that I don't want to finish her story, but it is best for me to let her be happy. Some things are meant to be short and sweet.
I didn't forget my promise about the drabbles did I? Nope! Just go up to my Author's Page and you'll see that I have a new story about the adventures of a certain fraccion before everything went haywire.
So my amazing readers, this could be good bye for some of you. So as for the last time, please review, even if it is for the first time.
Thank you all so much,
-Quinhwyvar
Bleach, Ulquiorra and co. do not belong to me but to the awesome Tite Kubo. Sola is her own creation, therefore copyrighted to herself (she finally won the legal battle) I still own the plot and the ideas.