"What is happening to me, crazy some would say

Where is the life that I recognize, gone away"

Chapter 1

His first thought as he fell into the earth (aside from the initial A rabbit hole shouldn't be this deep!) was wondering how he was going to get back up when he hit the bottom. After several more seconds of falling, that turned into if he hit the bottom.

The farther he fell, the brighter the tunnel became, until he was finally able to look around without squinting. As he observed his surroundings, he was shocked to find that bookcases, tables, and chairs lined the walls of the exceptionally large tunnel.

Hamish turned his head to the side to get a better look at one of the dressers he passed, and when he looked up, he gave a very uncharacteristic scream. There was a piano barreling down towards him. He would be crushed! The piano came right up to his face, however, played a few notes, and fell back up. It fell up! He was stunned, and decided right then and there that he was either hallucinating, or he was dreaming.

His thoughts were interrupted when he hit something soft and springy, then promptly bounced back up. He continued to drop for several more seconds, before he crashed through something and hit the ground. Hamish shook himself, still quite dizzy from such a fall, before standing. To his great confusion, his hair was standing on end. It took him only a moment to realize that he was, in fact, upside down! Immediately after that realization, however, the room shifted and he fell to the floor – the proper floor.

He lay still for a few moments, just to be sure that there would be no more changing rooms, or switches in gravity. When he was satisfied that everything was stationary, he stood and took in his strange new surroundings. The round room was small, and there was a door every few feet along the wall. There was a singular empty, glass table in the center. He looked up, but only saw a checkered ceiling.

In a panic, Hamish began knocking on all the doors, and jostled the knobs and banged on the wood. It was no use, though, and he turned back to the table in defeat. Something shiny caught his eye, however, and he rushed forward to grab the little copper key that hadn't been there the moment before. He repeated his run, trying to unlock every door with little success.

He turned around once more to see if the table had conjured up anything else, and noticed that there was a curtain on the opposite end of the room that he hadn't noticed before – that he hadn't noticed, or just hadn't been there. He raced over and threw away the red-velvet fabric, only to reveal blank wall. He sighed in frustration, and had to take a moment to push the approaching panic back to the rear of his mind. After he composed himself, he took another look at the wall. Towards the floor, there was a small door; about two feet tall. He quickly tried the key, and it unlocked with ease. Hamish took a glimpse out, and what he saw astounded him. There were flowers of every color in the midst of a lush forest, and a bright sky hung overhead. He tried to squeeze out through the tiny door, but only his head would fit. He gave another huff, and pulled back into the room.

Another look around revealed a small glass bottle on the table, and he stood and picked it up. There was no writing on the bottle, save a little paper card labeled "Drink Me". The lord turned up his nose and sat the bottle back. "There has to be some way out of this place!" he sniffed to himself, scanning the room again. His eyes eventually came back to the little bottle on the table. "I am not drinking that; I've no idea what it'll do to me! For all I know, it could be poison."

He began to circle the room again, and he was suddenly overcome with despair and the desire to wake up. This was a dreadful dream, indeed. He wandered back over to the table, and stared at the vial. Alice would drink it. Hamish jumped. "Who's there?" When no answer came, he turned back to the table. It was, after all, only a dream. What harm could come from something that wasn't even real? With that, he uncorked the bottle, closed his eyes, and took a sip.

He almost gagged at the horrible taste, and began to cough furiously. When he opened his eyes, though, he saw that the table had grown several feet! In fact, the whole room had increased in size greatly… as well as his clothes. He furiously gathered up the access cloth, tying several knots and making several folds to get it to fit at least some.

He wandered back over to the little door, for which he was now the perfect size to walk through. Overcome with relief, he tried the knob… it wouldn't budge. "Drat." He turned back to the enormous table, and realized that he had left the key sitting next to the now-overturned bottle.

Hamish raced back over to the glass table, and attempted to climb up and retrieve the key. Because the legs of the table were smooth, however, he had no footholds and could not get very far. He slumped back against the leg in defeat. "This is turning out to be an awful day." He said to himself, smirking at how much he sounded like Alice at the moment – talking to himself. He closed his eyes to try to formulate another plan of escape, but it's quite hard to do anything when you have no idea where you are or how you got there. Upon opening his eyes once more, however, he spotted a little glass box. "Everything here seems to be made of glass…" He thought with some detached hint of amusement.

He made his way over to the box, and saw that there was a small, white cake resting on a red velvet cushion. There were two neatly written words written with frosting in the same handwriting as the label on the bottle. They read "Eat Me". At this point, Hamish was resigned to pretty much anything, so he opened the box, broke off a bit, and popped it into his mouth.

Again, it tasted horrible, and he found himself nearly choking on the flavor. Because his eyes were open this time, he saw that he was the one that was growing and shrinking. He struggled to undo several knots in his clothes as he began to grow as not to be strangled, but even then, the cloth began to rip. Eventually, he stopped growing, but by that time, his head had started to touch the ceiling of the little room. This caused him to begin to slightly panic, but he quickly regained composure. His eyes fell on the little door (that was now even more miniscule), and he had a sudden idea. Hamish quickly grabbed the small key and the little bottle of shrinking-serum, took a swig, and hacked and coughed his way back to the right-size-to-fit-through-the-tiny-door.

After re-tying what was left of his clothes, he unlocked the door and sighed with relief when it swung open with ease. After taking a breath of fresh air and relishing in the thought of being free of that dreadful room, he opened his eyes to see where, exactly, he was. As he took in his surroundings, he gasped in wonder.

There were flowers and mushrooms of every shape and color that towered over him like mansions. As he took a step further, he saw that the door that he had just exited was, in fact, standing alone on a crumbling stone staircase. There was no sign of the torturous room in which he had just been trapped. Strange, he thought with a sniff, as he turned to survey the rest of his new surroundings. His eyes widened at what he saw.

Surrounding the little stone staircase was a glorious garden filled with plants and flowers of every shape and color. As he continued to gaze, he noticed that the flowers were moving. He was dumbfounded. "Hey! It's not polite to stare, laddie," Something with a strange accent (almost like Scottish, he thought) snapped.

"Wh-who's there?" he asked shakily, whipping his head around in every direction, but still seeing no sign of anyone.

"Right here, ye dreadful thing!" the voice scolded again. This time, Hamish's attention was drawn to a group of multi-colored carnations at the base of the staircase. "It's not polite to stare, so stop it!"

"A-are you talking to me?" the lord stared at the flowers – which he now noticed had faces – as his mind struggled to grasp what he was hearing.

"'Are ye talking to me'" the purple carnation mocked, and the others laughed. She was obviously the leader of the group. "Yes, I'm talking to ye! Now, stop yer lookin' and move along, laddie. Haven't ye somewhere to be?" The group began to cackle again, and Hamish could only nod dumbly and take several shaky steps forward. Because he wasn't watching where he was going, he ended up tumbling down the stairs. He fell into a heap at the bottom of the stairs, which caused the flowers to once again start giggling.

After he collected himself, Hamish continued on into the strange world that he had somehow found himself in. As he passed through the underbrush (he realized now that this was, in fact underbrush, even though it was as tall as he was), the flowers continued to giggle at him. For the most part, he tried to ignore them. Occasionally, though, he would give one to two an annoyed glance or a scowl, just to show them that he wasn't intimidated by them… much. He traveled on like that for a few minutes, slowly coming to terms with the fact that he was possibly going mad in order to have such a dream as this.

Then, suddenly, something flew past him. The force knocked him off his feet, and he threw his arms over his head for protection in case the perpetrator returned. This, however, only managed to throw the flowers into all-out laughing fits. Hamish peeked over his arms and saw that there was nothing there, so he huffed indignantly, stood and straightened what was left of his jacket, and continued walking.

However, this happened again. And again. The third time, however, he didn't close his eyes as he was knocked to the ground, and he managed to see what was going on. What he observed made him want to close his eyes all over again. A rocking-horse was flitting about overhead, but it had the pattern of a zebra on its coat and brandished a set of dragonfly wings! Hamish gasped as the giant creature (for it was as big as he was!) swooped down again, and he found himself running for cover.

'Cover' ended up being another patch of flowers, which caused them to start squealing. He was promptly pushed out of the patch and back into the line of fire, only to see another, even more frightening creature some at him. It looked like a little dragon with insect wings! He ducked again, careful not to invade the flowers' privacy, and watched as the dragonfly swooped, dipped, and dived. The creature's motions were soon copied by the horsefly, and Hamish immediately became caught up in watching the elaborate air-dance. His moment of peace didn't last long, though.

"I said, don't ye have somewhere else to be?" a voice snapped, and he started out of his daze. "If yer goin' to move on, move on!" It was the same purple carnation that was snapping at him, and Hamish wasted no time arguing. He fled out of the garden and into the woods, slightly shaken up by the things he had seen.

As he walked, the forest became denser and darker. He had no idea whether he was simply going deeper into the forest, or his small size that made the woods seem twice as daunting as normal. Soon, every tree started to look the same, and there was no way to tell whether he was even still going the same direction he was when he started his journey.

"What have we here?" a voice above him purred, yes, purred. Hamish jumped, and then mentally scolded himself; he should have been used to things startling him by now. He looked up, but, again, saw nothing. "What do you call yourself?" The voice came from in front of him now, and Hamish jumped again. "You're a jumpy little creature, aren't you?" The lord found himself starting in surprise once more when he was able to locate what was talking to him. It was a cat! He shouldn't have been surprised, though. Things that weren't supposed to talk seemed very verbal here.

"H-Hamish Ascott," Hamish composed himself somewhat. "And who are you?"

"It doesn't matter who I am, now does it?" the cat said as it floated closer. Hamish didn't noticed that, however, as he was too fixed on the enormous grin the cat wore. Could cats even grin? "We're focusing on you right now. What did you say your name was?"

"Hamish Ascott, son of Lord and Lady Ascott, resident of London, England," Hamish answered. He felt the need to give his credentials, hoping that the cat would realize just how important he was. The cat's expression turned from superior to confused, and then back to superior.

"London, you say?" Hamish nodded. "So you're an Alice?" The lord winced at the name, thinking immediately of his lost love.

"My name is Hamish, not Alice." He sniffed at the cat.

"I never said your name was 'Alice'; I said that you were an—oh, why am I even bothering? You're from the Uplands, correct?" The cat floated back a few inches, and did a belly-roll in the air in front of the frightened little man.

"W-Where?" Hamish managed to stutter, as he watched the amused feline with wide eyes.

"The Uplands! Are you even paying attention?" The cat scolded. The lord only stood, dumb-struck, and stared. "Oh, you're as useless as she was at first! I might as well take you to the Hatter and the Hare; they'll know what to do with you. At the very least, they'll get some amusement out of having you with them." The last part he said more to himself, rather than to Hamish. The blue cat began to hover ahead, as Hamish simply stood there. "Well, are you coming?" This snapped the redhead out of his daze, and he scrambled to catch up with the cat.

Really, he had no idea where they were going, who this 'Hatter and Hare' here, or why he was even following a floating, talking, grinning cat in the first place. Hamish finally decided that he had no other choice, however, and that he couldn't wait for this strange dream to be over. When he woke up, he would have breakfast with his parents, same as always, and he would forget about this whole thing. Yes, that's what he would do.

As he was having his internal debate, though, the cat continued to move on ahead. Once more, Hamish scrambled to catch up, until they were at the edge of a clearing. The little man could make out some kind of singing, and the sound of clanking china. The cat floated through the rest of the underbrush, and Hamish lost sight of him for a moment. He could still hear him, though.

"Chessur!" someone exclaimed rather disdainfully. "What brings you here? Come for tea, perhaps?" The offer sounded someone strained, and Hamish thought he could detect a hint of that same accent that the flower had had earlier; slightly Scottish.

"No, no," the cat – Chessur – replied. "I've brought you someone, though."

"A visitor!" a new voice exclaimed. This one was slightly more high-pitched, and had a very prominent Scottish brogue.

"Yes, I've brought an Alice." There was a large crash, followed by several shouts of 'Hey! Watch the tea!'

"You've brought Alice?!" The first voice replied, sounding very excited. This caused more confusion to spring up in Hamish's mind. What was all this talk about Alice? There was no way that she could have known any of these people; this was his dream, after all.

"Alice!" The third voice echoed. By now, Hamish had made it to the edge of the clearing, and peered out through the grass. They couldn't see him, but he could see them.

There looked to be a giant tea-party set up, with the longest table Hamish had ever seen. The multicolored tablecloth was strewn with mismatched dishes of every shape, size, color, style, and use, but it was the characters seated at the table that caught the redhead's interest. There was a madly twitching rabbit seated in one of the chairs, and a mouse seated swimming in one of the teacups. Chessur was seated at a chair at the end of the table, and his back was to Hamish.

The craziest of them all, however, was a man crouched on the table in front of the cat. He was unearthly pale, with multicolored markings around his eyes. He had stark-orange hair that was sticking every-which-way out from underneath the largest top hat he had even seen. His suit was also an assortment of strange colors, and there was a gap between his two front teeth. Hamish could see this because he was smiling widely at the cat.

"No, not the Alice; an Alice. An Upland-er," Chessur replied slowly, watching the madman warily as his insane grin faded.

"An Upland-er…" he mumbled, still crouched in front of the cat. "An Upland-er!" he jumped up again, sailing over Chessur's head and landing firmly on his feet. "So where is this naughty fellow you claim to have brought us?" Hamish noted that the accent seemed to be gone from his voice, and that it was replaced with a kind-of lisp.

"Hold on, Tarrant," The cat replied, disappearing and reappearing in front of the madman. "You don't want to scare him." The frightened lord took this as his cue to step out into the open, and he did just that. The man's – Tarrant – eyes grew wide at the sight of him, and he bounded over.

"Good afternoon, sir!" he gave a sweeping bow, though the enormous top hat remained firmly upon his head. "Care to join us for tea?" Without waiting for an answer, he took Hamish by the hand and walked him over the table. Needless to say, the lord was quite disgusted with their eating conditions. "Sit here, sit here!" he promptly dropped the little man into the chair to his right, which had a stack of books placed on it as a booster. "Tea?" the madman snatched a cup and saucer from one of the other empty seats, and began filling it from one of the numerous teapots strewn around the table.

"Scone!" a Scottish voice exclaimed, and Hamish yelped in fright as the aforementioned pastry whizzed past his ear. He saw that it was the twitching rabbit that had launched the attack.

"Thackery! That is no way to treat our guest!" Tarrant scolded, before turning on the newcomer. "Now, what did you say your name was, dear girl?"

Hamish sniffed indignantly, hoping to retain what little dignity he had left after being shooed away by flowers and reduced to eating with lunatics. "First of all, I am not a 'girl'. Second, my name is Lord Hamish Ascott," Tarrant blinked and sat back in his enormous chair, mumbling to himself.

"Ascott, Ascott, Ascott… where have I heard that before…?"

"I should think that it would sound familiar; this is, after all, my dream, so you'd have to know me." His words seemed to strike a chord within the madman, and he ceased his rambling immediately. In fact, Hamish noted dismally, the entire table had gone silent.

"Dear Alice thought the same thing," the mouse said after a long moment, breaking the solemn silence.

"Alice…" Tarrant sighed, and Hamish looked back at him. The crazily-dressed man had a sorrowful expression on his face, and the colors on his suit seemed to have dimmed. His hair and bowtie now drooped slightly, and his eyes had become a dismal blue-grey. "It's been such a long time since she left…"

"We all do miss her very much," the mouse sighed, as well. She suddenly sprang out of her miniature swimming pool and scrambled over to where Hamish was seated. "Maybe you know her!" This seemed to brighten the mood at the table, and soon Tarrant was back to his perky self.

"Yes, do you know Alice Kingsleigh?" he asked excitedly, leaning in closer to the shrunken man.

"Alice! Alice!" The hare cheered from his seat, and he chucked a teacup in their general direction.

"Yes, have you heard of her…?" Chessur inquired as he floated lazily above the little huddle.

Hamish gulped. "Y-yes, I do know Miss Kingsleigh…"

"Well, how is she? Is she coming back soon?" The lunatics seemed to be bursting with excitement now that they had found someone who knew their champion.

"We do miss her quite lots, and she said she'd be back before we knew it!" The mouse chimed in.

"How is the dear girl…?"

"Alice!"

After everyone had added in their two-cents, Hamish gulped again at the eager and expectant faces that surrounded him. "W-well, I th-thought you would have heard. Miss Alice K-Kingsleigh is dead." And then the real chaos broke out.

AN: Oh my gosh, did the authoress just kill off Alice? I bet all of you thought Alice was in Underland, hmm? ;D Also, sorry for the long wait. I was on vacation at the beach, and I didn't have a laptop with internet with me. This chapter is a little choppy, because I ended up writing pieces of it on scraps of paper, in a notebook, and typed some parts in my laptop. It wasn't until I got home that I actually consolidated it. Also, the quote at the beginning is from "Ordinary World" by Red.

Please review! It brings more chapters faster, and makes me happy!