"I'll never be the same

I'm caught inside the memories"

Chapter 3

As the Mirana and Hamish ascended the stairs towards the chaos, they were able to make out the sounds more clearly. The crashes and smashes had become more frequent, and soon they could understand the yells and shouts. There seemed to be two voices. When they made it to the second level, they turned toward the second door on the right, where the sounds seemed to be coming from.

Mirana threw open the door, just in time to see a psychotic Hatter slam his fists down on a dresser, in the spot where Mally had been only seconds before. The force of the blow caused the wooden piece of furniture to crack substantially. "Get out o' 'ere!" the little dormouse screeched as she dodged another swing. "'Atter's finally lost—ee!" her next sentence was cut off into a yelp of pain as Tarrant's fist came in contact with her tail.

"Mally!" The Queen rushed forward to snatch up the little creature, only to have her way blocked by the Hatter.

"Yer comin' in me 'ouse just like tha' vermin! Ge' ou'!" he yelled in rage, as Mirana attempted to go around him. "Ge' ou'!" The White Queen stopped moving and looked him right in the eye.

"I'll leave as soon as I retrieve Mallymkun." She said calmly, noting with displeasure that Hatter's eyes were a deep red – the darkest she had ever seen them.

He didn't say anything for a few moments, but she saw that his fists were clenching and unclenching. He seemed to calm down, before she shook his head and took a step backwards. "No! No!" he yelled again, "Get out!" this time, when he spoke, it was deadly calm, and his accent had all but disappeared. Normally this would be a sign that he was coming out of the madness, but his eyes were still the hateful color.

Taking this momentary distraction to her advantage, Mirana quickly snatched up the little dormouse, who was nursing her throbbing tail, and bolted from the room. As she passed through the doorframe, she gripped Hamish's arm with her other free hand and all but ran down the stairs. When the trio made it outside and was able to catch her breath, she sat down the little mouse. Mirana turned to Hamish, only to find him in a state of shock, staring at her with a combination of confusion, fear, and remorse. "What just happened?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You, dear Hamish, have just witnessed the Madness," she sighed running a hand through her white tresses. "For the second time, I believe." The redhead's mind flashed back to the incident at the tea table when he had first arrived. He shuddered at the thought.

"Does this h-happen often?" Hamish stuttered, still trying to regain his composure after the scene he had just witnessed. His respect and admiration increased tenfold after seeing the Queen stand up to the madman like that. He had known that she was strong, but he had never thought that she was that brave. Then again, there were things he was likely never to know about this world.

Mirana sighed as she crouched down to where Mally was still clutching her hurt tail. "More than it used to," she said. "These bouts came frequently while my sister was in power, and, after she was defeated, he seemed to calm down. As time went passed, however, they started coming more frequently. Since you've come, they've become few and far between. When they do happen, though, they are worse than the bouts have ever been." She picked up the dormouse, who winced at the movement. "I don't know what we're going to do if he keeps hurting people…" she sighed again.

After a few minutes, they began heading back to the castle. The journey was quiet, save for the occasional squeak from Mallymkun. When they arrived, Mirana immediately took the little mouse to her potions room to examine her tail properly. Hamish was left to do as he pleased, and he found himself wandering back in the direction of his room. Because of the lack of much to do, he decided that it would be best if he began work on the words he would say in Alice's honor at her memorial.

After removing his jacket and unbuttoning his collar slightly, he sat at the small desk in his room, and his mind began running through all the times that he and Alice had shared. It had been obvious that she had never fancied him that much, but, when they were little, they had been somewhat friends. Remembering Mirana's statement that this was a happy occasion, he decided to start at the beginning.

Whether it was because of the events of the day, the happy times he was reminiscing, or the fact that he simply wasn't tired, that Hamish worked late into the night. He poured his heart and soul into this one paper, trying to write something worthy of Alice. Maybe it was because he loved her and wanted to honor her properly… or maybe he was trying to prove to her – and possibly himself – that he wasn't the cold, stiff, heartless lord that she had always thought he was.

Hamish awoke with a start to a loud tapping. He looked around, briefly confused as to where he was, before he remembered that he had been writing the night before. Apparently, he had fallen asleep at the desk. The knock came again, and the redhead quickly attempted to smooth out his rumpled attire as he made his way over towards the door. He didn't really have to look his best for one of the servants come to wake him up, but his mother had always taught him that he had to, no matter what. The knocking came a third time, and Hamish barely had time to wonder why the maid wasn't just walking in like always before he opened the door to reveal Mirana standing outside his room.

She gasped a little as she took in his wild hair, wrinkled and slightly unbuttoned clothes, tired eyes, and a very peculiar ink smudge on his right cheek. Hamish blinked, then blinked again, before he realized just who was at his door and just how he must look. "Oh, um, y-your majesty, I didn't expect—"

Mirana began speaking at the same time, however, as both of their faces began turning slightly pink with embarrassment at the awkward situation. "I'm terribly sorry, I'll just return later when—" both stopped when they realized that neither could hear the other.

"You first," Hamish mumbled as he furiously tried to button his collar and flatten his hair. The White Queen had to suppress a giggle at how flustered he looked; as was becoming evident, he wasn't used to being around women very much.

"I came to talk to you about the memorial, but I'll return later when the time is more appropriate." She had to suppress her laughter once more as the redhead struggled to tame a stray cowlick. She had to admit, he looked rather adorable when he was embarrassed.

"I do apologize," Hamish replied, "I wasn't really expecting anyone… would you like to come in?"

The Queen shook her head and smiled. "No, no; I'll let you get ready for the day, and we shall talk over lunch."

"Yes, that sounds—lunch? How long have I slept?" he mumbled the last part to himself, but the white-haired woman still caught it. "I shall see you then, then." He said louder, as Mirana began slowly walking backwards back down the hall. She gave a small wave and a smile, before she turned around and began walking forwards. Hamish shut the door quickly, and leaned his back against it. "Well, that was awkward," he said to no one in particular, before he began a quick bath.

Only a little later, Hamish emerged from his room and made his way towards the dining hall. Sure enough, it was empty save for Mirana at her seat. He quickly approached her, and she smiled when she saw him. "Terribly sorry about all that," he said as he sat down next to her.

"No problem at all," she replied, picking up her goblet. "It was actually quite comical," she chuckled. Hamish huffed indignantly in response, but smiled to show that his feathers weren't ruffled in the least at the comment.

"Now, what did you want to ask me about?" He asked, getting right down to business.

"Have you gotten he chance to start on your speech, yet?" she asked in return. "I know it's still early, but I wanted to have the memorial as soon as possible. Word is already getting around about Alice…" she sighed.

"Actually, I finished just last night," he replied. "I hope it's what you had in mind, but I'm not used to life down here."

"I'm sure it's excellent. Quite honestly, I think it'll be wonderful if it reflects the style from her homeland. It is the perfect way to honor both Alice's worlds." She smiled sadly, as they both continued eating in silence.

After a few more moments, Hamish spoke once more. "When were you thinking of having the ceremony?"

"I was hoping to have it tonight, actually, seeing as you're already finished."

"That soon, really?" he asked in shock. What about the planning? The invitations? Everything else?

"Time is different here," Mirana said. "If one asks nicely enough, everything that needs to be done will get completed." That made absolutely no sense to Hamish whatsoever, but he had spent enough time in Underland to know that there were just some things that one didn't question. The meal went on in silence once more, until Hamish thought of another question.

"How is the Hatter after yesterday? And Mally?"

"Mally is quite alright, actually. Her tail was only bruised, and should be sore but okay. Hatter, on the other hand…" she paused and sighed. "He really doesn't even remember yesterday's incident. He feels dreadful about the whole thing, though. I don't know what I'm going to do," she paused again, "If he keeps getting this terribly violent, I am going to have to take some kind of action."

"Do you know what's been causing him to go… Mad?" Hamish asked, though he felt he already knew.

"The news you've brought us about Alice is likely the cause, paired with the fact that Tarrant was the one most hurt by her departure. Now that she's not coming back… I don't know what's going to happen to him." She sighed once more.

"This really is mostly my fault," Hamish said sadly. "If I hadn't fallen down that blasted rabbit hole, everything here would have continued on normally."

"Oh, no, don't regret coming here for something that would have happened anyway. It would have hurt Tarrant even more if Alice never came back, but no one knew why. Or even if McTwisp brought the news, himself. Besides, I'm quite glad you came… you've given everyone a breath of fresh air," she added the last part quickly. The pair finished their meal, but continued to talk until well after their plates were taken away by the servants. Hamish continued to inquire about Underland in general, while Mirana asked questions about life in London. "Life up there seems quite boring," she said at one point. Hamish only laughed, and heartily agreed.

"It is definitely nothing like here." Eventually, they both went their separate ways. Mirana to plan this evening, and Hamish to perfect his speech.

Several hours later, Hamish emerged from his room once more to find the White Queen. He realized sometime during the afternoon that he had no idea what the memorial was going to be like, where he was going to have to stand, sit, speak, attempt not to sob, and possibly stutter, or who else was going to attend. As he walked through the halls, he saw frogs, fish, and other servants busily hanging up festive blue decorations along the walls and columns. Very Alice-like, he thought to himself.

Soon, he made his way out to the main courtyard, where he saw that small stage-like area where he had been told Mirana had asked for a Champion so long ago had been decorated much in the same way as the castle. There were streamers and banners of every shade of blue hanging about, and the flowers that grew along the balcony were being painted the same hue. This activity caused him to raise his eyebrows, but, again, he decided not to question it.

Finally, he spotted Mirana among a crowd consisting of the Tweedles, McTwisp, Mally, Ullimean the dodo, and Chessur. He noticed that the Hatter was strangely absent from his usual crowd, but didn't think too much about it. He was probably still upset from the day before, and it was most likely best if he didn't come to the memorial. "Ah, Hamish!" The Queen smiled when she saw him approach. "I was just about to send for you." He smiled in return.

"'Ello, 'Amish!" Mally grinned, waving from her perch on Mirana's shoulder.

"Good evening, Mally, how is your tail faring?" he replied.

"Good as new," she replied, swishing it to prove her point. "Wha'eva' the Whi'e Queen gave me 'ealed me righ' up!"

"Excellent to hear," he smiled at her, before glancing back at Mirana. "You said you needed me?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, I was going to tell you how this evening was going to go." Hamish breathed a sigh of relief at her words. "Mally, why don't you and the others go check on Thackery in the kitchen?" the little mouse saluted her Queen and hopped off her shoulder, onto Tweedledee's.

"It be my turn to escort Miss Mally!" his brother complained as the group began walking off.

"Contrary-wise, she hopped onto my shoulder first, right she did," was the response.

"Boys!" Mally cried as they continued on. "Ye can carry me back, once we've seen 'ow 'Ackery's doin'!" she told Tweedledum. Both Hamish and Mirana watched the scene, trying to suppress laughter.

Once the others were out of sight, the Queen turned back to the redhead, and begun explaining how the evening was to unfold.

As it turned out – much to Hamish's dismay – much of Underland's countless residents turned up for the occasion. There were sea lions, walking fish, frogs, giraffes, horses, mice, cats, dogs, clams, foxes, birds, flowers, bugs, lions, tigers, wolves, donkeys, rabbits, a Bandersnatch, and the occasional human all in attendance. After seeing the crowd, he immediately grew cold feet, and it took more than a little begging from the Queen for him to stay. He was never one for crowds.

The memorial began with a great banquet, and there were endlessly long tables laid out with every kind of food imaginable… and some that one couldn't. As the merriment began, Hamish started to relax. He sat at a table with Alice's closest Underlandian friends, and was, thankfully, placed next to Mirana. As was customary, people began sharing stories about Alice, though Hamish's table likely had the most interesting.

"She was always late for t-t-tea!" The March Hare stuttered, taking a shaky sip from his teacup. "H-helped get t-t-time back on t-track, she did, t-too!"

"She did have a nasty habit of never coming on time," McTwisp added.

Conversation continued on for some time like this, until Mirana rose and addressed the entire crowd. "Normally, this would be the time for the honored to have a speech read by his or her family, but, as we have no family of our dear Champion's here with us, a dear friend and fellow Otherlander of Alice's will speak instead." She gave a pointed – yet encouraging – look towards Hamish, who took this as his cue to rise and make his way towards the stage. There was a small pedestal set up for him to speak at, and his papers were already set up waiting for him. Hamish cleared his throat and gazed out at the large—no, the huge crowd looking expectantly at him, and began.

"When Alice was six years old, she began talking of a magnificently mad place called Wonderland. I listened while she explained of grinning cats and talking plants, but I, myself, thought she had gone quite mad, as well. You see, at the time, we were friends. We were friends, but our parent's had other plans.

"As we grew, it was decided that we were to be married—" there were several gasps throughout the crowd "—though Alice was very against it. We both knew that I wouldn't ever make her happy, and if Alice wasn't happy, then I wasn't; even though I very much wanted to be the one who could. She learned to hate me, thanks to our families' plans, and never really smiled much, anymore. Things became even worse when her beloved father died, and I thought I'd never hear her laugh again."

There were several sniffs from the now-teary congregation. "Then, one day, she disappeared for several hours. When she returned, she was completely changed. Told everyone off at the party we were attending, and then promptly walked out. I daren't say they didn't deserve it, but it was quite shocking to see the old Alice return. It made me remember why I had become close to the crazy little six-year-old who was always getting herself into a mess.

"Soon after, she left for adventure in a place called China. She was following her father's brilliant vision, and I don't think I've ever seen her as happy as she was the day her ship – ironically named the Wonder – set sail and left port." Hamish paused and sighed. "I don't know who was hurt hardest by the news of her ship's attack and Alice's death; her family, me, or you, people of Underland. I didn't know the Alice you knew, but I cared for her all the same. She'll hold a special place in my heart – as a dear friend – and I know that she'll be remembered even greater here, in the place she truly belonged." Without another word, Hamish left the stage, but not before he caught a glimpse or fiery-orange duck into the near-by bushes.

Most of those present were openly crying now, as well as the majority of the Queen's table. "That was beautiful, Hamish," she said quietly, dabbing her eyes daintily with her lace handkerchief. She spoke only loud enough for him to hear.

"I realize that this was supposed to be a happy occasion, but…" he sighed and blinked his eyes several times to hold back the tears. Mirana placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"You've brought us a little piece of your world, and for that we are grateful." She smiled sadly at him, and he returned the gesture. Suddenly, a white pawn chess-knight appeared behind the Queen, and bent to whisper something in her ear. She sighed, and her mouth turned down into a slight frown. "Alright, thank you. I shall join them as soon as possible." With a bow, the knight left.

"May I ask what is wrong?" Hamish asked, continuing to keep his voice low.

Mirana sighed again. "A ship has just arrived in port from one of the surrounding islands. As is custom, I am to choose first what 'goods' I would like to purchase, before the other wares are sold to shops and merchants."

"Including slaves?" Hamish asked, finally understanding. The White Queen only nodded sadly in response.

AN: Well, here is the next chapter. I'm terribly sorry that it's so ridiculously choppy and such, as I've had such trouble writing this. (Not to mention I'm on cold medication, and am home sick from school.) I hope it's up to standards, and I promise that the next chapter will definitely make up for this one. *winkwinknudgenudge*

As always, please review! IT WILL HELP ME GET WELL. (Okay, so maybe not really… but it's the thought that counts…right…?)