Mike Stan Lee the Last

by Plainclothes cop

Sequel to "Do You Believe in Creeps?" Oliver gets a new girlfriend, besides Miley, who starts to get wise to the fact that Oliver is secretly Mike Stan Lee III! If this girl finds out the truth, Miley's cover could be blown! Moliver, plus a little Liley.

2. The Cover Up

Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!

Chapter 2: "The Cover up"

Hannah Montana rode up to Oliver's house in her limo. Hannah was going to be interviewed about a movie she had just stared in. "Indiana Joanie—The Curse of the Golden Cobra." Although Lola Luftnangle and Mike Stan Lee weren't in the movie, Hannah had agreed to let them add their comments as well. Inside Oliver's house, the doorbell rang and Oliver went to answer it. "Oliver!" Hannah exclaimed when Oliver opened the door. "Why aren't you in your Mike Stan Lee outfit? I thought you wanted to come with me to my interview!"

"OH!" Oliver exclaimed. "Right! Just come on in and I'll go upstairs." Hannah came in and Oliver shut the front door. "Don't worry," said Oliver. "I'm a guy, I don't take as long to get ready to go out. I don't know why you girls take so long."

Hannah put her hands on Oliver's shoulders. "Because we have to look the best for you guys!" said Hannah firmly. With that, Hannah gave Oliver a quick, rough kiss.

"That's totally understandable" said Oliver with a smile. Oliver started to walk towards the stairs, but then he stopped and turned around. "Although," said Oliver. "You know, I read in one of Lily's issues of M magazine that Jesse Mcartney takes even longer than Jojo! For two reasons: 1. Jojo is a bitch, so she could care less how she looks for the guys. And 2. Jesse Mcartney is gay!" Oliver said the word "gay" in a ridiculing, high pitched tone.

"Oliver, I know you're a guy, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't bad mouth Jesse Mcartney," said Hannah fairly gently. "Because I'm a fan."

"OK, I'll just concentrate on mah' girl popstars" flirted Oliver. "Like Hannah Montana." Hannah giggled.

"But, say whatever you want about Jojo!" assured Hannah.

Oliver pointed both of his fingers at Hannah flirtatiously. Just as Oliver was about to go upstairs, suddenly, the doorbell rang! "Uh oh," said Oliver as he turned back. "Who's at my door?" Oliver went over to the door and looked behind the little curtain on the small window by the front door. It was MEGAN!

Oliver covered up the curtain went back to Hannah. "It's Megan!" said Oliver in a loud whisper. "Quick! You have to hide!"

"What?" said Hannah in the same volume. "What's she doing here? I thought your next date with her was on Friday!"

"Never mind that now!" said Oliver frantically. "Just go upstairs and hide!"

Hannah ran upstairs and hid in Oliver's parents' bedroom. Meanwhile, downstairs, Oliver answered the door. "Megan!" said Oliver surprised and sheepish. "What an...unexpected surprise!"

"Hiya', sweetie!" said Megan.

"Um," said Oliver. "What are you doing here? I thought our next date was Friday."

As Megan answered Oliver, she ducked under Oliver's arm and "let herself in", as if it were forced entry. "Wellllll, I was just with my girlfriend only to realize I would much rather be with you! You're not busy, are you?" Oliver followed her into the living room. "I don't suppose you have plans, do you?" said Megan. "Like maybe, hanging out with your female friends, Miley Stewart and Lily Truscot? Or maybe some other people I don't know about?"

Oh no, this was not good. What Megan was saying was very skeptical. Not just what she said, but the way she said it. It sounded like sweet talk, but at the same time, Oliver could tell she was suspicious. But that was the least of his worries. He had Hannah Montana hiding upstairs in his house!

"Uh...uh, no! No! I don't have plans!" lied Oliver. "In fact, why don't we just sit right here on the couch?"

"Oh! How romantic!" said Megan still with a hint of skeptisism. They sat on the couch. "Say," said Megan. "What's that limo doing parked outside your house?"

"Uh, ah, detsch, shoue, ah," stuttered Oliver. "I think there's a business tycoon visiting the house across the street."

"Buuuut," said Megan. "The limo is parked on your side of the street."

"Uh," said Oliver followed by a high pitched, sheepish laugh. "I don't know, go figure chauffeurs these days."

Megan looked at Oliver skeptically, and this time, it wasn't sweet. "'Go figure chauffeurs these days?'" said Megan. "Gee, you say that like you ride in limos all the time."

Meanwhile, upstairs, in Oliver's parents' bedroom, Hannah was pacing back and forth frantically. She looked at her watch. It was 4:03. "Arrghh!" Hannah exclaimed. Her interview was at five o' clock, and she had to get down to her limo! Losing her patience, Hannah whipped out her Z phone and started typing a text.

Back downstairs, Oliver was still talking to Megan on the couch. "That's ridiculous, Megan," said Oliver friendly. "The only time I've ridden in a limo is on my way to the airport when I go on vacation with my family."

"So, does that give you a taste of the good life?" asked Megan in a flirty tone.

"The good life?" said Oliver. "What's that? It's hard for me to imagine what that's like."

Megan smiled. "Here," said Megan. "I'll give you a taste of the good life right now..." With that, Megan puckered up her lips, closed her eyes, and moved in on Oliver!

Great! Oliver thought. She softens me up with skeptical sweet talk, now she's trying to expose me by making my heart nervous! Before Megan could kiss Oliver, Oliver's cell phone made a texting noise. "Whoa, I got a text" said Oliver. Oliver took out his cell phone. The text was from Hannah, but to conceal her identity, just in case, it was sent with her Miley phone. Oliver pressed a button. The text read "HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?"

"Who's is that?" asked Megan.

"Oh it's uh, Miley" said Oliver. "She just asked me if I want to hang out. But since you're here, I got to let her down gently." Oliver started typing a text message back to Hannah.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Hannah got a text back from Oliver. The text read "You go on without me, I'll sit this one out." "Ugh!" said Hannah. "It's a good thing that boy has a heart," said Hannah as she typed another text message. "Because he sure as hell doesn't have a brain!"

Back downstairs, Megan said "So...where were we?"

Oliver looked at Megan half disgusted. "I'm the guy! I'm supposed to say that!" said Oliver. There was a brief pause. "But anyway..." said Oliver trying to act cool. With that, Oliver and Megan closed in...and kissed! The kiss lasted pretty long too. Within seconds, they were making out. Oliver was still nervous that Hannah was in the house, but now he was actually starting to enjoy it! Megan then started to push Oliver down on his back, but Oliver didn't let her push him all the way down. The making out lasted for a minute and 40 seconds, then Oliver got another text. He tried to push Megan off of him, but Megan didn't let him push her all the way off. Oliver managed to look at his phone even with Megan trying to push him down. "Megan, I got another text" said Oliver.

"Oh, just ignore it!" said Megan. "I'm your girlfriend!"

"No, Megan, I really need to take this!" said Oliver.

"Argh!" complained Megan as she let Oliver get up. Oliver pushed the button and read the text. It said "No, how do I get out without Megan seeing me?"

Suddenly, the driver of the limo outside honked the horn. It drew attention to Megan. "Oliver," said Megan. "The limo driver out there just honked the horn. Almost like they're waiting for someone to come out."

"Heh heh...heh..." laughed Oliver nervously as he typed Hannah another text message.

Meanwhile, back upstairs, Hannah read the next text from Oliver. It read "Go into my room, crawl out the window, and climb down the tree." Hannah was half shocked, half disgusted. "Really?" complained Hannah. Hannah put away her phone and went into Oliver's room. She walked over to the window and opened it. Hannah looked out the window and saw that the tree wasn't very close to the window, just a big branch. She made a pouty expression. "Hoh', I really don't like this!" said Hannah in a tearful, wheezing voice. Hannah climbed upon the window sill, grabbed hold of the branch, and put her legs over it. She was laying her stomach on the branch, with her arms and legs around the bottom. She scooted further down the branch as she made some tearful, panicking noises. Halfway down the branch, she started to wobble, then her body swung down under the branch! "AAGGHH!" screamed Hannah as she almost fell. She was stunned for a moment, then she used her legs to swing her body back on top of the branch. She scooted all the way down to the next couple of branches. Hannah grabbed hold of the slightly higher branch so she could stand upon the branch she was crawling on. She stepped onto the next branch, grabbed hold of an adjacent branch, then stretched her legs so she could sit on top of the next lower branch. Hannah rested for a moment. She grabbed the branch that was directly above her to pull herself up, stepped onto the next lowest branch, and then, just when she was about to step onto the next one, there was something blocking her path. She screamed! Right on the next branch she had to get to, there was...A SNAKE! Hannah retraced her climbing to move farther away from the snake. To Hannah's surprise, the snake followed her! She was making frightened groveling noises. Hannah paused. "I would give anything to be Indiana Joanie right now!" said Hannah out loud. Yeah, she hated snakes, but at least Indiana Joanie wasn't afraid of snakes. Hannah had worked with some real snakes in the movie "Indiana Joanie—The Curse of the Golden Cobra", but those snakes were trained! This snake was more than likely wild! Hannah found herself climbing out on a really long limb to avoid the snake, on her stomach again, then her body swung down the branch again! "AGH!" screamed Hannah. The snake continued to follow her out on the limb! Just when Hannah reached the end of the branch, Hannah heard a snapping noise. She looked at the snake. No, it wasn't the snake, THE BRANCH WAS BREAKING! Hannah squinted her eyes and clenched her teeth. "SWEET NIBLETS!" screamed Hannah.

Meanwhile, inside, Oliver was still making out with Megan. Oliver was really enjoying it! But then, on the backyard patio, which could be seen from the living room, Hannah and the tree branch fell right through the patio table! Realizing Hannah needed a cover up, Oliver quickly jumped upward and intentionally banged his knee up against the coffee table. "OW!" screamed Oliver. "OW! OW! OW!"

Megan quickly got up and put her hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Oliver? Honey? Are you OK?" said Megan. "What happened?"

"You touched me in a way that tickled me, so it caused me to jump upward and bang my knee!" lied Oliver.

"Oooohhhh, I'm sorry!" said Megan tenderly. "Here, let me kiss it and make it all better!" said Megan in baby talk.

Oh god, I sure hope Miley is OK! Oliver thought.

Outside, Hannah was crawling on her knees and arms, with her head down, and her stomach very close to the ground. She crawled all the way to her limo.

Five hours later, once again, at Oliver's house, Hannah, Lola, and Oliver were talking in the living room. Oliver was definitely relieved that Miley wasn't injured. She had made it to her interview on time, and she recovered from the pain during the limo ride. "Are you OK, my precious little Miley muffin?" said Oliver sweetly as he ran his hands down Hannah's face.

"Don't you 'Miley muffin' me!" said Hannah pushing Oliver's hands off. "This is your fault! That was way too close! And I almost bought a one way ticket to the hospital! Oliver, what did I tell you? She can't be trusted! You said you would be more careful, but apparently that's beyond your control! I warned you that if this got any worse, you would have to break up with Megan!"

There was a brief pause. "Miley," said Oliver confidently. "Is this really all about your secret? Are you sure it has nothing to do with a little jealousy that I'm seeing another girl?"

"Wooooooo..." said Lola.

Hannah looked at Oliver straight in the eyes. "Oliver," said Hannah sternly. "I crawled out your window, climbed down the tree, got chased by a snake, and fell through your patio table. All because I didn't want Megan to find out I'm Hannah Montana. This isn't...about...us."

There was another brief pause. "Well, I think that's very mature of you" said Oliver. Oliver paused. "But I also think it's awfully mean of you to make me break up with Megan" said Oliver. "She's the first real girlfriend I've had since you and Lily. I honestly didn't think any girl other than you two would ever kiss me, until I met...her." Oliver paused again. "I mean, I thought we all agreed we were going to expand!" said Oliver. "What ever happened to that?" Oliver paused. "The other day," said Oliver. "When we found out Megan was hiding in the bushes, she hung out with us for the rest of the day. You enjoyed that, didn't you? You like her! Do you seriously want to throw that away?"

"OK, Oliver," said Hannah firmly. "I love you as a boyfriend...but if you won't break up with Megan...until you do...you can't come with me to my concerts or any of my Hannah stuff anymore." Hannah paused. "Mike Stan Lee the third could very well be Mike Stan Lee the last" said Hannah.

Oliver made a sad face and hung his head as emotion started to build in the room. Oliver slowly exited the room and went up the stairs. Lola started thinking it wouldn't be quite as fun without Mike along for the ride. She made a sad face. "Gee," said Lola sadly. "Don't you think you were awfully hard on him?"

"I don't know..." said Hannah sad and confused. "It was hard on me too." Hannah paused briefly. "I'm going to miss him when I do my Hannah stuff" said Hannah. Lola rested her head on Hannah's shoulder, and Hannah rested her head on Lola's head.

Miley couldn't believe she said that to Oliver. It was sad, but she felt it had to be done. She had a secret to keep, so Miley was just protecting it the only way she knew how. A parent is never happy punishing their child, and Miley wasn't happy punishing Oliver. But...she would still get to date him, wouldn't she? She would still get to make out with him, wouldn't she? She would still get to have sex with him, wouldn't she? Miley really wasn't sure. Miley tried talking to Lily about this, out of Oliver's presence, but Lily was too emotional about it to say anything helpful. Miley took a little hint that what she did was wrong, but Lily didn't have the courage to say it to her. Right now, Miley was talking to Robbie Ray at the kitchen table, at her house. Maybe he would have the guts to tell Miley his opinion. "I do feel pretty bad about what I said to Oliver," said Miley. "I mean, it was just as painful for me as it was for him, but it could have been worse. It's not like I dumped him as my boyfriend."

"Well, ya' may not have dumped Oliver," said Robbie Ray. "Butcha' sure did dump Mike Stan Lee."

Oh god, Miley could have done without that sarcastic remark. "What are you implying?" snapped Miley.

"Hey," said Robbie Ray. "You always insisted Miley and Hannah were two different people."

Miley got up from her seat. "Come on, dad, this is serious!" said Miley as she started walking around the table. "I've never said anything like that to Oliver before! God knows what he's feeling in his heart right now. Depression? Shame? Angst? After I told him he can't come to my Hannah stuff anymore, how is this going to effect our non celebrity relationship?"

"Hey, bud," said Robbie Ray. "This is the path you chose. You wanted a complicated life? You got it. And everythang' else that goes with it."

Miley was disgusted. "Oh, here it comes!" said Miley sarcastically. "The old parental lecturing! You're telling me that it's wrong to have sex, be bisexual, and to have a girlfriend, and a boyfriend who's also seeing another girl!"

"Miley, this 'aint about your complicated love life" said Robbie Ray. "This is more about your secret hurtin' the people you love."

Miley got a little uncomfortable. "So...what? You're saying I should just tell the world I'm Hannah Montana?" yelled Miley.

Robbie Ray got up from his seat and put his hand on Miley's shoulder. "I 'aint tellin' you ta' do nothin'" said Robbie Ray. "I'm just sayin'...ya' might wanna' go a little easier on your boyfriend."

Oliver was in his room, laying on his bed, feeling sad. He didn't know exactly what he was feeling, but it was definitely negative. He was feeling a combination of sadness, frustration, and anger. He was upset about what Miley said, but he wasn't sure whether he was mad at Miley or himself. Who's fault was this? Was it his fault for not breaking up with Megan? Or was it Miley's fault for being unreasonable? Miley was reasonable for not being jealous, but sometimes Oliver felt it was easier being around Miley before he knew her secret. Although, he did love getting a taste of the good life, and Miley taking that away from him now is what upset him. Oliver also hated how Miley almost got hurt really bad (physically). He didn't know exactly who to blame, but he couldn't bare the thought of seeing his precious, little angel laying in a hospital bed. The worst part about that was, when he tried to comfort her about that, she pushed him away! On top of not knowing who should be upset, all Miley said was that Oliver couldn't come with her to her Hannah stuff anymore. That's it? She didn't say "It's over"? Or, "I don't want to see you again"? Even just for a while? She also said that she loved him as a boyfriend. So, she still wanted to date him? This left Oliver kind of confused. It's like she was saying "I love you, but I don't love you." He was confused, but he would rather be confused than dumped. Oliver was very lucky to have a girlfriend like Miley. Miley was a celebrity popstar who touched his heart with love songs. She was bisexual, and there was one more thing about Miley (and Lily) that was just too incredible to believe. Miley let him see other girls, and Oliver always believed love wasn't about being tied down to one person. Miley Stewart was probably the coolest girlfriend ever. Any other girl would have dumped him.

Upon that last thought, Oliver's cell phone rang. He flipped it up, and his eyes widened when he saw Miley's name on the caller ID! "Miley!" said Oliver surprised. "Hi..."

"Um..." said Miley weakly. "Wanna'...go swimming on the beach, Ollie pop?"

"Huh?" said Oliver weakly. "I thought you were mad at me."

"No, honey," said Miley gently. "I just said you couldn't come to my Hannah stuff. I still want to see you!"

"Well, gee, Miley," said Oliver. "After what you said to me before, I'm kind of upset myself."

"Please, Oliver," said Miley emotionally. "No matter how many friends, lovers, or fans I get, you are the most important guy in my life."

In Miley's house, where Miley was, Robbie Ray heard the phone conversation. "Hey! That hurts right here, bud!" said Robbie Ray putting his hand over his heart.

"Hang on, Oliver," said Miley. She pointed the phone away from her and turned to Robbie Ray. "Daddy, when I said 'guy', I meant 'young guy', not 'middle aged man'" said Miley. "Don't worry, you're family, love you too, cowboy!" said Miley frantically followed by a big smile and gesturing "I love you" in sign language.

Robbie Ray shrugged. "Works for me" said Robbie Ray.

Jackson suddenly walked by. "Hey, squirt! What about me?" said Jackson.

"Oh, I think of you as more of a pet!" said Miley in a smart ass tone.

"I think of you as more of a pet!" mimicked Jackson. Miley and Jackson mocked each other indistinctly a few times. Jackson picked up a pillow from the couch and hit Miley with it once. When he hit Miley, Miley almost dropped her phone! She caught it clumsily and put it back up to her ear.

A/N: Hehe! Can you just get a picture of that in your head?

"Please, Ollie pop?" said Miley sensitively followed by making kissy sounds with intimate, verbal noises.

"Bleach!" said Jackson as he was about to go upstairs. "And you think mah' room is disgusting!" Miley ignored Jackson.

"I'll be there, Miley muffin" said Oliver. Miley smiled.

Miley and Oliver went swimming on the beach that day, and they sure had fun greasing up each other, as well as holding, kissing, and fondling each other in the ocean. They also went a little deeper into the ocean, a point were they had to tread water. A lot of people were afraid to do that, because they were afraid of sharks, but living on the coast of California, Miley and Oliver knew that sharks weren't as dangerous in real life as they were in movies. After they got out of the water, they bought some snacks from Rico's. They each ordered something different, and they ended up sharing their food as they intimately fed each other. Miley thought it was just as much fun doing that with Oliver as it was doing it with Lily. Throughout that time, neither of them said anything about Megan or Miley banning Oliver from her Hannah things. Oliver was just lucky Megan never came to the beach and caught him cheating on her! It was pretty lucky for Miley too, because if Megan found out that Miley knew they were dating, she'd never talk to her again! Miley may have been upset about Megan getting wise to Oliver's Mike Stan Lee secret, but Oliver did have a point when he said Miley enjoyed hanging out with her. Miley even thought about dating Megan herself!

They were on the beach for three hours, and then they both went to Miley's house. The sun was still shinning bright. Miley and Oliver walked onto the front porch. "So," said Oliver. "Should we...kiss one last time before we go inside?"

"Relax, Oliver," said Miley. "We can do even more than that even after we go in! Because remember, I've got a cool, rockin' dad!"

"Yeah," said Oliver. "I always wondered how you became such an amazing popstar. I figure you get it from your dad."

Miley was flattered. "Awwwww! Now I don't want to wait until we get inside!" With that, Miley and Oliver started kissing on the porch. They kissed for 38 seconds.

The kiss parted and they looked in each other's eyes. "The door is open, isn't it?" asked Oliver.

Miley looked to the side sheepishly. "Uuuuhhh..." said Miley.

"Miley..." accused Oliver.

"I'm not sure if my dad or Jackson are home" said Miley. Miley broke off the embrace and tried to open the door. It wouldn't open. "It's locked" said Miley. "But I did bring a key." Miley took out her key, unlocked the door, and opened it.

"Say, if Jackson's not home, that means we can kiss as we walk through the living room!" said Oliver somewhat exited.

"Yeah, just like in the movies!" said Miley. That's exactly what Miley and Oliver did. They kissed while walking through the living room at the same time. Although they couldn't kiss while they were walking up the stairs. They entered Miley's room and Miley pinned Oliver on the bed as they continued making out. Oliver slipped off Miley's shirt, and Miley pulled off Oliver's shirt. They continued making out. Oliver pulled off Miley's bikini top, pushed Miley onto her side, and started squeezing her boobs while kissing her. Oliver sucked Miley's nipples as Miley held his head close and smiled.

Suddenly, Miley's cell phone rang. "Ugh!" complained Miley. "That's probably Lily."

Miley sat up and took her phone out of her pocket. "Miley! Come on!" said Oliver. "This is our time!"

Miley flipped up and looked at the caller ID. "Oh, don't be so insensitive, Oliver" said Miley. "Wiwwy' pop is wonesome'!" said Miley in baby talk. Miley put the phone up to her ear. "Hiya', Lily pop," said Miley tenderly. "Do you miss me?" Miley made a few kissy sounds.

Lily giggled blissfully. "Hey, don't make me laugh" said Lily. "I'm mad at you."

"Why?" asked Miley sensitively.

"Because you left me all alone all day! I finished my homework, and then I tried to call you! Twice!"

"Well," said Miley. "Ollie pop and I went into the ocean, and I didn't want to pay the 'underwater roman charges.'" There was a brief pause. "But Lily, come on," said Miley. "Oliver and I just had a fight, so you can let him have this, can't you? I mean, you can come over if you want, but this is kind of our special time together."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" asked Lily. "Watch you and Oliver go at it while I play with my pussy?"

Miley hesitated. "Uh...why don't you hang out with Joanie and/or Lisa?" said Miley in a comforting tone. "After all, you do kind of need to...get to know them better!" Miley said "Get to know them better" in a provocative tone.

"Sayyyy, that's not a bad idea!" said Lily. "Hoh'! Just you saying that is putting pleasant thoughts in my head! Hoh'! I'm picturing Lisa's feet! Ooo! Now Joanie's cleavage! Ooo! Oh my god, I gotta' go! Love you, Miley muffin!"

With that, Lily hung up and Miley put her phone on her nightstand. "So...where were we?" flirted Oliver.

Miley responded by straddling Oliver and putting her bare boobs above his face. "Right about here" flirted Miley. With that, Miley smothered her boobs in Oliver's face. Later, they both took off the rest of their clothes. Oliver fondled Miley's pussy, Miley grabbed and smacked Oliver's ass, and Miley sat on Oliver's face while fondling his dic, which was very blissful to Oliver.

Miley started licking Oliver's hairy armpits. Oliver was amazed! "Wow, Miley!" said Oliver. "You actually like that?"

Miley stopped licking briefly and said "Yes, I really am that sexy!" Miley started licking Oliver's arm pits again.

"Damn," said Oliver. "And I didn't even use deodorant last night!"

Miley stopped briefly again. "Oliver, you could fart in my face right now and I would still kiss your ass and call it lasagna!"

"What a girl!" said Oliver as Miley started licking his other arm pit.

Miley and Oliver ultimately ended up using a condom and going all the way. This wasn't the first time they did this, and Oliver remembered, during the aftermath of their first time, Miley said in a sing-songy tone "Baby you make mah' heart spin, cuz' I 'aint no virgin!" After they finished, they held onto each other in bed, under the sheets. They layed like that for about a half hour as the evening sun started to turn. They didn't say a single word as they layed motionless, caressing each other. They had their eyes closed during this time too, but they weren't asleep. Finally, Miley opened her eyes and said "Oliver..."

"Yes, Miley?" answered Oliver.

Miley paused. "I'm sorry."

Oliver opened his eyes. "What?" said Oliver. "What did you say, Miley?"

"I said I'm sorry" said Miley.

Oliver let go of Miley and sat up in bed. "Wow!" said Oliver. "Somebody get me a video camera!"

Miley sat up with an uncomfortable expression. "Say what?" said Miley.

"Girls never apologize!" said Oliver. "They always put everything on the guys because they overlook how insensitive they are themselves! Usually because they fall for insensitive guys! Miley, you really are the coolest girl ever."

"AWWWWWW!" Miley swooned. Miley hugged Oliver, pressing her bare body up against his, then gave him a peck on the lips. "Listen, Oliver," said Miley sensitively. "I know my secret makes life harder for the people I love. You, Lily, my dad...not so much Jake Ryan...and even Jackson have made so many sacrifices for me, that...I think it's time I gave you a little something in return."

The more time Oliver spent with Miley, the more amazing she became. He really loved this girl! "Wow..." said Oliver blissfully. "You just went all the way with me for the third time, and now there's more?"

Miley smiled. "Oliver..." said Miley. "Consider yourself Mike Stan Lee III."

Oliver smiled. "I love you, Miley" said Oliver.

Even though Oliver didn't say every detail about his feelings for Miley out loud, Miley could tell what he felt. "I love you too" said Miley. With that, they shared a long passionate kiss.

After the kiss parted, they were holding each other again. "Yeah, but..." said Oliver sadly. "I don't know how I'm going to keep Megan from exposing us. That's the only problem."

Miley's tone changed too. "Yeah...I know" said Miley anxiously.

Two days later, Miley was on her front porch with Oliver greeting Lily and Lisa. It was nice to see Lisa, but Miley didn't want her to stick around for too long, because she, Lily, and Oliver were about to go to a Hannah Montana concert. Oliver had arrived at Miley's house first, and now Lisa had just driven Lily over there. "I'll miss you, my cutie patootie!" flirted Lily exitedly as she rubbed her hands on Lisa's face.

"I'll miss you, my pussy wussy!" flirted Lisa as she did the same to Lily. Lily started laughing and hyperventilating at the same time. "Maybe next time we can go swimming!" said Lisa.

"YEEEEEEEP!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'll bet you're dying to see me in a bikini!" said Lisa as she left the patio. Lily giggled in a high pitched tone. "Bye, Lily!" said Lisa blowing Lily a kiss. Lily put both her hands on the side of her face as she tilted her head and swooned. Lily blew a kiss right back.

"So, Lily! Looks like you had fun with Lisa!" said Miley happily. "Did you kiss her?"

"No, but, remember how I told you over the phone that you made me picture Lisa's feet?" said Lily.

"Yeah, why?" said Miley.

"Well, I got to rub her feet!"

"WOOOOOOO!" cheered Miley and Oliver.

"And she also put her arm around me, she sat on my lap, we played patti cake, we bumped our butts, we shared a drink, and..." said Lily as her voice trailed off. "WOO! I'm so flushed I can't even remember everything!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOO!" cheered Miley and Oliver. "Lisa may be straight," said Oliver. "But she's very sweet, and she knows you're a lesbian, so she's trying to give you a little femjoy!"

Miley and Lily suddenly made puzzled expressions and turned to Oliver. "What?" said Miley and Lily at the same time.

"Uh...femjoy..." said Oliver nervously. "I...heard it on the internet."

Miley and Lily started making out as Oliver's cell phone rang. He answered it, and sure enough, it was the one person who he knew might ruin his plans. Megan. "Come on, Megan," said Oliver. "I hung out with you yesterday! I'm hanging out with Miley and Lily today!"

Miley parted her kiss from Lily and whispered "Oh, that old devil from hell! Why does she have to call now?"

"I can't believe it," whispered Lily. "She's totally going to expose us."

"You mean she's going to expose me!" said Miley.

"Does everything have to be about you?" snapped Lily.

"No, Megan," said Oliver. "You can't come with us! This is really something I can only do with Miley and Lily!" Oliver paused as Megan said something. "What is it, you ask?" said Oliver nervously. "Um..." Oliver moved the phone away from his head and turned to Miley. "What is it?" said Oliver hoping for Miley to suggest a convincing lie.

"Uh, skating! At Funway!" whispered Miley. "Which is our very special thing!"

Oliver hesitated slightly. "You can't skate" Oliver pointed out.

"OH, it's a lie!" whispered Miley. "Just say it!"

Oliver put the phone back up to his head. "Uh, skating! At Funway! Which is our very special thing!" lied Oliver. Oliver paused as Megan spoke to him through the phone. "Uh...yeah..." said Oliver sadly. "Glad you understand." Oliver paused. "Bye, Megan" said Oliver. With that, he hung up his phone.

Miley looked at Oliver with a concerned expression. "Oliver, are you OK?" asked Miley.

"No...I'm not" said Oliver. Oliver paused. "Now not only is Megan suspicious, but I think she's also starting to have hurt feelings. I feel bad."

"I'm sorry, Oliver" said Miley sensitively. Miley gave Oliver a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, look on the bright side," said Lily in a forced, happy voice. "At least you don't hiccup when you lie anymore!" Miley and Oliver looked at Lily as if they were to say "Really?" Lily looked away as if she were to say "I'll be quiet." A few seconds later, they entered Miley's house. Miley and Lily went upstairs to change into their disguises, and Oliver waited for them downstairs. They had planned to drive over to Oliver's house later so Oliver could put on his Mike Stan Lee outfit. Oliver sat down on the couch. He rested his chin on his hand sadly. He sighed.

At that exact moment, Jackson had come downstairs to get a snack. He stopped for a moment and looked at Oliver. "Heh! Whatsamatter' with you?" said Jackson insensitively.

Oliver looked at Jackson. "Since when do you care?" said Oliver.

Jackson scoffed. "Come on!" said Jackson. "Why can't a guy say somethin' to another guy without havin' his motives questioned?"

Oliver thought very briefly. "Because I'm your bratty little sister's boyfriend" said Oliver.

Jackson put on a cocky smile. "Oliver..." said Jackson in a cocky voice. "I happen to know...that you ain't' got no guy friends. You're always hangin' out with girls. I imagine it must be purty' hard not havin' anyone ta' talk about guy stuff with. So I'm askin' you...from one guy to another...what's eatin' ya'?"

"Well, you see," began Oliver. "In addition to Miley, I'm also dating this other girl, who Miley is letting me see, and as you may have heard from Miley, as a member of Hannah Montana's posse, I am secretly Mike Stan Lee III. And this girl...she's onto me." Oliver paused. "She's been stalking and spying on me" said Oliver. "Her suspicion definitely scares me, but it scares Miley even more. I already had one fight with Miley about her, and if this girl finds out that I'm Mike Stan Lee, she'll be one step toward finding out that Miley is Hannah Montana!"

"Aaahhh..." said Jackson surveying the situation. "Skeletons in your closet..." said Jackson walking cocky around the coffee table. "Girls hate that." Jackson paused. "I've lied to girls before," said Jackson. "And every time I do it always blows up in mah' face."

"So..." said Oliver hopefully. "You understand?

"NO!" said Jackson with a slight laugh. Oliver's jaw dropped offendedly. "I ain't' no celebrity, I ain't' friends with no celebrity, and I'm obligated to be related to a celebrity!" said Jackson dramatically.

There was a brief pause. "I don't believe you!" said Oliver. "For a minute I thought you actually cared!"

"Couldn't care less" said Jackson. "I only asked you what was wrong 'cuz' I was bored. Your girl problems are between you, your girlfriend, Lily/Lola, and Miley/Hannah. Good day."

As Jackson started to walk out of the room, Oliver yelled "You are the worst-..."

"I SAID GOOD DAY, MIKE STAN LEE!" interrupted Jackson. Then Jackson started mimicking Oliver.

"Say what?

Say what?

Say freaky freaky

FAT ASS!"

Jackson left the room and Oliver buried his face in his hands.

That night, Hannah Montana performed at her concert with her twin, young girl backup dancers and Lola Luftnangle. Hannah sang:

"Why would you rather be

Anywhere else with me

I tell you man, it's all right here

Check out the scenery

We won the lottery

I tell you man, it's all right here

And I can't believe

You'd even think

Of being any place

Any place but right here

The grass may be greener

In the end I swear

But you'll be wishing you were here

If you were there

It's wherever we go"

One week later, Oliver was at school, walking through the hall when Megan came up to him. "Hey Oliver..." said Megan in a friendly voice. Oliver turned to Megan. "Look what I got!" Megan whipped out of her coat pocket what looked like two tickets. "Two tickets to a Hannah Montana concert!"

Oliver put on a surprised look. "Wow...that's...amazing!" said Oliver nervously. "So...who are you going with?" asked Oliver sheepishly. Megan put her hands on her hips and looked at Oliver like he was stupid. "Oh...right! Me!" said Oliver. Help me! Oliver thought. Oliver was going to go to Hannah's next concert, but he couldn't go as both Mike Stan Lee and Oliver Oaken. He couldn't be in two places at once either (after all, Miley tried that once, and it didn't go so hot).

"Gee, Oliver," said Megan. "I know you love Hannah Montana just as much as I do, but you're not acting very exited!"

"Uh...uh..." stuttered Oliver.

"Oooohhhh no!" said Megan sternly. "Don't tell me you can't go! Do you have any idea how much money I spent on these tickets?"

"Uh...well," said Oliver. "I could pay you back..."

"Come on Oliver!" urged Mean. "I've also got two backstage passes that we can use after the concert to actually meet Hannah Montana!" said Megan flipping out two backstage passes from her other pocket. "And the rumor on MTV2 is that Mike Stan Lee III will appear on stage!" Oliver clenched his teeth and slanted his eyebrows. "Oh," said Megan skeptically. "So that's why you can't go! You can't go with me, because you were already planning to go, which you planned months in advance, because you are Mike Stan Lee himself!"

Oliver tried to stop being so passive. "Megan, when are you going to let that go?" said Oliver angrily. "How many times do I have to tell you? I am NOT Mike Stan Lee!"

"Well," said Megan. "If you're not, then you have nothing to hide!" Oliver thought for a moment. Boy, was he in trouble! What was he going to to do now?

Later, Oliver told Miley and Lily about Megan inviting him to the next Hannah Montana concert, but they really didn't know what to do. Yes, they were planning on having Mike Stan Lee make his first appearance on stage, but they decided the only thing they could do was call it off. They were also quite scared about Megan having backstage passes. Four days later, Oliver ended up going to the concert with Megan. Hannah had her twin, young girl backup dancers again, but this time without Lola. Hannah sang:

When I saw you over there

I didn't mean to stare

But my mind was everywhere

I wanna' know you

Gonna' guess that you're the kind

To say what's on your mind

But you listen when I have something to show you

There's a mark above your eye

You got it in July

Fighting for your sister's reputation

You remember people's names

And Valentines are lame

So you bring me flowers just for no occasion

Whoa-oh, whoaoh, oh, oh, oh,

Whoa-oh, oh, oh, I wanna' know you

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh, oh,

Whoa-oh, oh, oh, I wanna' go there

Where you go

I wanna' find out what you know

And maybe someday down the road

Sit back and say to myself

Yeah, I thought so

In the audience, Megan was screaming so loud next to Oliver. Since in reality, Oliver had had sex with Hannah Montana, Oliver was having a hard time acting starstruck. He did the best he could to cheer Hannah and not be so suspicious. After all, Megan was suspicious enough already. "OH MY GOD!" screamed Megan. "I've never been this close to Hannah before!"

After the concert was over, Megan grabbed Oliver's hand and pulled him in towards the backstage doors. "Come on!" yelled Megan. "Let's go meet Hannah!"

Megan showed the bouncers her two backstage passes and they let them in. Megan and Oliver walked down two empty hallways. "Oh good!" said Megan. "There's no other fans here! We get Hannah all to ourselves!"

"Yeah! That's...so awesome!" said Oliver trying to sound exited.

Suddenly, Hannah and Lola walked out of a dressing room. "OK," said Hannah to Lola. "If we're going to get out of here, just follow my lead."

Unfortunately, it was too late for them to try to make their escape. Megan had spotted them. Megan gasped. "HANNAH MONTANA!" screamed Megan. "AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Megan ran up to Hannah as Hannah formed a frightened expression. "Sweet niblets!" panicked Hannah. When Megan reached Hannah, she wrapped her arms around her head and gave her a rough, long, french kiss! Hannah waved her arms as if she were trying to escape.

"OH MY GOD, HANNAH! I LOVE YOU!" screamed Megan. "I like, have a girl crush on you! I love your music! It's so blissful, tender, and fun! And I love the way you live your life!" Megan was hyperventilating as she still had her arms around Hannah.

Meanwhile, from across the hall, Oliver thought, Gotta' act starstruck, gotta' act starstruck! "HANNAH!" screamed Oliver. Oliver then ran up to Hannah and did the same thing Megan did, only with less force. Hannah was about to put her arms around Oliver, but then she thought, Gotta' play dumb, gotta' play dumb! Hannah had the same reaction to Oliver's hug and kiss. "I love you too, Hannah!" said Oliver. "You totally know how to act like a real girl! You touch my heart!"

"AWWWWW!" said Hannah. "I love you both!"

"Not only do you know how to treat guys," said Megan. "But you also know how to perceive girls! You know very well that guys aren't the only ones you can play with! On your reality show, I love the way you interact with-..." Megan stopped as she turned to Lola. "LOLA LUFTNANGLE! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" screamed Megan. With that, Megan gave Lola the same kiss she gave Hannah. Lola's reaction was different. Lola very willingly locked her arms around Megan and kissed her right back! Lola laughed and hyperventilated at the same time after the kiss parted. "I love you, Lola!" said Megan. "WOW! Are you not used to this kind of treatment?"

"I...I..." said Lola breathlessly.

Hannah patted Megan on the shoulder to get her attention. "She is used to it," said Hannah with a smile. "But she's a lesbian."

"Yeah!" said Megan. "I know! And you're bisexual, Hannah!"

"You got that right, sweet cakes!" said Hannah.

"Uh, Hannah," said Megan a little more calmly. "I just wanted to ask you something."

"Yes, sweetie?" said Hannah.

"AWWWW! You called me 'sweetie'!" swooned Megan. "Anyway, the rumor on MTV2 was that Mike Stan Lee was going to be on stage tonight. Where is he?"

Hannah hesitated. "Um...he's..."

Suddenly, from out of nowhere came MIKE STAN LEE HIMSELF! "Sittin' pritay' in the citay'!" said Mike. Everyone else gasped! Mike came up to them. Hannah examined Mike with a shocked, skeptical expression. "Well, I may not have been on stage," said Mike. "But I sure am here to see you, pretty lady!"

Hannah closed in on Mike and whispered "Jackson?"

"Shh," whispered Mike/Jackson. "Yeah, it's me. Play along."

"Why there you are, Mike!" said Hannah with bad acting. "I wondered where you were!"

"I was checkin' out the babes on broadway, I got a few didgets, and I'm goin' dowwwwwn town!" said Jackson.

Megan looked at Jackson and Oliver back and forth with her Jaw dropped several times. "I don't believe it..." said Megan. Megan hung her head in shame. "After all that, I'm an idiot" said Megan. "This is so embarrassing..."

"What's wrong Meg-...fan I've never met?" said Hannah.

Megan laughed sheepishly. "You won't believe this, Hannah" said Megan. "I...got this crazy idea...that my boyfriend...was...Mike!"

"Well, it's perfectly normal for every girl in love to think her man looks like me!" said Jackson. With Megan's back turned, Oliver smiled at Jackson and gave him the thumbs up. Hannah and Lola rolled their eyes.

Megan looked at Oliver. "Oliver, I'm sorry," said Megan. "If you want to break up with me, I understand."

"No no no!" said Oliver reassuringly. "Megan, if I wanted to break up with you because of this, I'd've already done it by now." Megan smiled. "But the important part is...I'm not Mike Stan Lee!" said Oliver with bad acting.

Two hours later, Hannah, Lola, Oliver, and Jackson were all in the living room of Miley's house. "Thank you so much, Jackson" said Oliver. "I honestly didn't think you cared about me."

"Heh heh you?" laughed Jackson followed by a smirk. "Oh, that's hilarious! I didn't do it for you!" Oliver's smile turned into a frown. "I did it for Miley" said Jackson. Jackson put his arm around Miley. "When your sister's in trouble, you gotta' help her" said Jackson more assertively. "It doesn't matter if you like her or not."

"Awww!" said Hannah as she hugged Jackson.

"Well," said Oliver half angry. "At least part of that was nice moment."

Jackson moved closer to Oliver. "Oliver," said Jackson. "Consider this the returned favor for helpin' me make money off that cheese jerky recipe."

"Awwww!" said Lola.

Oliver smiled and nodded his head in gratitude. "Wow, Jackson," said Oliver in a somewhat mushy voice. "You are the closest thing to a-..."

"OH-KAY! You made your point!" said Hannah stepping in between Oliver and Jackson. "It was nice at first, but after a while, it just makes you both look gay."

The next day, Oliver was in his room talking to Hannah Montana on his cell phone. "So, Hannah," said Oliver. "Are you with anyone right now?"

Hannah was in a penthouse room, sitting naked in a hot tub while talking on her cell phone. "Nope," said Hannah happily. "Lucky for you, I'm alllll alone."

"Miley, thanks again for letting me see Megan" said Oliver.

"Oh, your welcome, Ollie pop" said Hannah.

"You know," said Oliver. "The only problem is, if we had a hard time concealing my identity from Megan, how are we going to keep her from finding out I'm dating you?"

"Oliver," said Hannah. "I will lie like a weasel to make sure you keep her, and I'll make sure not to get jiggy with you when she's around. During that time, I guess I'll just do a little touch typing on Lily."

"And when we're in private," said Oliver. "Even I can do a little touch typing on her! Three girlfriends! Woo hoo!"

"You see," said Hannah. "Some may call it 'cheating,' but we call it 'expanding!' Cheating on a lover is a lot easier when there are three of us. Lily and I are totally in on it, a feeling most guys will never know!"

"Yeah," said Oliver. "That's all the more reason why you're the coolest girl ever."

"AWWWWW!" said Hannah. "Well, behind every perfect girl, there's a perfect guy." Oliver sighed blissfully. "In the long run, what Megan doesn't know won't hurt her" said Hannah. "And who knows, if you stay with her long enough, and you get close enough to her, maybe some day we can actually tell her and see if she's interested in a threesome!"

"Hoh!" Oliver exclaimed blissfully. "My cup runathover!" There was a brief pause. "You know," said Oliver. "This game we're playing is so...dirty! So...naughty! In fact, I think it's turning me on right now!" Oliver fondled himself briefly. "Say, Miley..." said Oliver. "What are you wearing right now?"

Hannah laughed. "Oh, just my Hannah wig!"

"Tell me what you would do if I were there!" said Oliver eagerly.

"Only if you tell me what you would do!" flirted Hannah.

"OK," said Oliver. "Here are the dirty details..." Hannah listened as Oliver gave her some intimate descriptions. Hannah started masturbating in the hot tub, and pretty soon, she was moaning and groaning!

The End

A/N: Please forgive me if the final outcome of this fanfic was a lot like the outcome of that one episode of "Sonny with a Chance." I did the best I could to translate it into the "Hannah Montana" version. But let me tell you, I'm 29 years old, and I've seen that more than once!

Coming soon: Hannah Montana "No Secrets for Evermore" The final story in my Hannah Montana fanfic saga!