Bella's POV
"Edward, where are we going?" I asked, trying to keep the exasperation from my tone. I could tell by the slight grimace that crossed his beautiful face that I hadn't been successful. Of course, the fact that I'd asked the same question six times might have given me away.
"Please, Bella." His soft, pleading tone was enough to melt my heart, but I huffed a bit, turning to look out the window in silence. I really hated surprises and I didn't want him to think I was going along with this willingly. I didn't want him to think I was truly upset with him, either, so I squeezed my hand around his cool, hard fingers. Since our return from Italy, my Edward seemed so uncertain of himself, shaken by the events that had driven us apart and even more so by the events that brought us back together. I was no less shaken, but I was beginning to trust him again.
I knew we were going somewhere special because we were in the Vanquish. It was an atypically beautiful spring day in Forks. The sun was playing hide and seek in the clouds and it was just warm enough for short sleeves. Not that I was wearing them. Having a vampire boyfriend made one learn to dress in layers. I had on a soft, fuzzy blue sweater over a pretty white peasant blouse and a pair of designer jeans. I'd had to fight for the jeans. Alice had been determined to put me into a skirt. Evidently Edward had faith in my ability to talk Alice down because he showed up in jeans himself. Paired with an expensive white silk shirt and a blue jacket. Alice had stopped complaining about the skirt long enough to giggle with Leia over the fact that Edward and I matched.
"What are you thinking?" Edward's quiet question made me turn from the window to look at him. He was staring intently at me and not the road, as usual.
"Just remembering Alice and Leia giggling over our clothing choices. Makes me wonder if Alice didn't plan it that way," I said, smiling. Edward's somber expression lifted, his crooked grin making my heart skip a beat. I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb and in response he lifted our hands to put a kiss on my knuckles.
"Not this time, my love. You thwarted her evil plans."
"Wonderful. So that makes the score what, Alice 99, Bella 1?" I asked with a laugh. Edward chuckled, the sound sending shivers down my spine. He kissed my knuckles again and briefly turned his eyes back to the road.
"Either way, you look beautiful." I couldn't stop the blush from spreading across my cheeks as his eyes returned to my face. He pulled our hands up so that he could brush his fingers across my face. The look of adoration of his pale, perfect face made my heart quiver with joy. I had stopped asking how this beautiful man, this vampire, could love me. I was just struggling to accept it as fact, to trust in the reality of it. Edward was mine, as I was his. And tonight, I would get my chance to prove it to him with more than just words. I just had to wait for the perfect moment.
"Port Angeles?" I asked as Edward slowed the car to an almost respectable speed inside the city limits. No doubt there was a city policeman lying in wait for the unsuspecting speed demon. Edward smiled and nodded, not elaborating. It only took a few more minutes to realize our destination. He pulled up in front of Bella Italia. I leaned over the middle console to kiss his cheek.
"Back to where we had our first date. That's very thoughtful of you." I murmured against his pale cheek. He turned his head and brushed his lips against my own. As usual, my heart paused and then sped wildly against my ribcage. I felt his lips curve into my favorite crooked grin and then he was gone, already out of the car and around to my door before I could even recover my breath.
"We have exactly forty five minutes before the sun comes out again. We'll get dessert to go." Edward said against my ear as he led me into the restaurant. I felt an odd sense of déjà vu. It had been over a year since we had been here but the place looked exactly the same. Right down to the hostess that looked at Edward like he was something she'd like to eat. I leaned against Edward and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I saw the look of envy the hostess shot me and I just gave her my best smile.
We were seated immediately in the very same booth as the first time, and I couldn't help but wax nostalgic so I ordered the mushroom ravioli. Edward ordered the same and I knew I would be having leftover ravioli for lunch tomorrow.
"Bella, I'd like to get you something special for graduation." Edward's beautiful face leaned close to mine. I dragged a deep breath into my lungs, enjoying the scent that was so intrinsically Edward. Vampire lure or not, it was intoxicating. Almost enough to distract me from his words.
"Edward, you know I hate presents," I said with a sigh. I let my hand slide over his where it rested on the table and he turned his palm over cradle my hand in his own. I remembered the last time we were here I'd thought myself lucky when he let me touch his hand twice. I felt a tiny thrill of joy as I thought how very far we'd come since that night.
"It's not really a present. It's more of a destination. Something I want you to see before..." he trailed of, a slightly pained expression on his face.
"More of the human experience, hmm? Well, I suppose a trip might not be too much. Just...no five star hotels, Edward."
"Is it so wrong to want to spoil my beloved?" he asked with a disappointed frown. I felt my heart constrict painfully at the thought of making him sad. But I knew before the night was out, I could make him truly happy so I decided to hold my ground. I took a page from the book of Edward and twined our fingers together so I could lift our hands to my face and place a gentle kiss on his knuckles.
"You spoil me with your presence, Edward. I don't need or want for anything when I'm with you. I'd be happy sleeping in the back seat of the Volvo as long as you are there with me," I said tenderly. I saw a spark of humor in his eyes.
"I can think of more comfortable places to rest than the back seat of the Volvo...though it does have a certain iconic charm." Edward's crooked smile was more of a smirk and I felt the blush rising in my cheeks. Embarrassed or not, I looked directly into his eyes when I replied, my thumb stroking across his knuckles.
"You should know that doing that in the back of the Volvo has always been a fantasy of mine, Edward." I knew my voice was trembling. I watched his eyes darken from warm butterscotch to near black.
"Oh, Bella, if only..." he trailed off, his deep velvet voice full of desire. He knew how much I wanted to have him to make love to me. I made no secret of it and I knew I pushed the limits of his restraint whenever we moved beyond kissing. He was so afraid of hurting me, but I trusted him completely with my body.
"You promised, Edward, that we could try. Before I'm changed, we will try," I reminded him of his promise. Not long ago, we'd had a serious discussion about the things I wanted to experience before my change. Edward had asked me to marry him then, trying to use marriage as leverage. Somehow he knew that I had been deeply opposed to matrimony and he had thought to use that to his advantage. In the end I had given him a semester of college in exchange for his promise to try a physical relationship after graduation. At the time, I had been relieved to have avoided the dreaded engagement. Now, after several weeks to think things over and talking with Leia and Sarah, I was beginning to question my aversion to marrying Edward.
All my life, Renee had drilled into my head that marriage wasn't for the young and inexperienced. I knew, intellectually, that Charlie and Renee's marriage hadn't been a good one and that she wanted to save me from making the same mistakes that she and Charlie had. But I had come to realize that I was not my mother and Edward was not my father. Our love was strong, our commitment unshakeable. Our relationship was by no means perfect, but we needed each other. We had proven that we would both self-destruct without the other.
"I promised, and we will...try. When the time is right, we will try," Edward said, leaning in to press a chaste kiss against my lips. Normally I would have laced my fingers into his soft hair and tried my best to hold him to me. But we were in a public place and I knew the wait staff had a tendency to drop by the table at the most inopportune times. So I let him pull back.
"And when, pray tell, would that be?" I asked as I tossed another ravioli into my mouth, chewing carefully. Edward hummed softly under this breath as he watched me eat. I knew he had heard my question and I knew he would answer in his own time, so I took a moment to savor the delicious food. I'd had too much on my mind the last time we were here to appreciate it.
"I'm hoping we can make that decision tonight, together." His quiet response to my question made me smile and I quickly finished my meal and shoved the bowl away.
"Okay, let's talk," I said eagerly. Both of Edward's eyebrows rose in surprise and he glanced around the restaurant. He caught the eye of our waitress and lifted his hand.
"Let's hold that thought until we get to the meadow, alright?" His words held a promise of...something...that sent a shiver of delight down my spine. That and the fact that he had just told me where we were spending the rest of our evening made it easy to ignore the fact that the waitress was obvious flirting with my boyfriend. In five minutes flat we had our leftovers boxed and Edward had squared the bill. We made it to the car five minutes earlier than planned. The trip out of Port Angeles was as sedate as the trip in, however.
"PAPD working overtime today?" I asked, teasing. Edward snorted softly.
"Evidently the department is low on funds. They're cracking down on every minor traffic violation. I'd rather not get a ticket today," he said with a smile. I returned it and just enjoyed looking at his profile as he wove carefully through traffic. I knew the minute we were out of range for the police, because the Vanquish engine revved and the car leapt forward. For once, I didn't even cringe.
"Bella, I need to tell you something," he said cautiously after a few moments of silence. I felt a thread of unease at his words.
"Anything, Edward," I said quietly, wondering if Edward was going to reveal something terrible. I had asked him stop keeping me in the dark for my own good and I had meant it. My unease was quickly growing into panic, however, as I considered the possibilities. Had the Volturi decided to come early? Had the Quileutes declared war on the Cullens? Was Victoria coming back so soon? Edward must have sensed my rising panic, because he flashed me a crooked smile and gently squeezed my fingers. I forced myself to relax.
"I had a chat with Renee when we were in Florida. I...asked her for her blessing," he said quietly, his golden eyes locked on mine.
"Her blessing for what?" I asked warily, my suspicion about the direction of this conversation causing butterflies to take flight in my belly. For the second time tonight, Edward made me wait for the answer to my question. Five minutes later, he pulled the car onto the shoulder and flashed to my door.
"Her blessing for me to ask you to marry me." His statement struck both fear and hope in my heart as he pulled me out of the car and slung me onto his back. I clung to him as always, my face pressed against his neck and my ankles locked in front of his hips. Despite the fact that I had been determined to bring up this very subject tonight myself, I was still frightened of my mother's response. But in my secret girly heart of hearts, I wanted what most girls wanted. Prince Charming, on one knee with a ring sparkling in the sun, or the moonlight depending on the fantasy.
But this wasn't a fantasy. This was reality, despite the presence of vampires and werewolves in it.
"Her blessing? Isn't it customary to ask a girl's father for her hand in marriage?" I asked against his ear. I was trying for humor, but I knew my voice was trembling, and I knew he would hear it. His hands, which were hooked around my thighs, squeezed gently.
"Customary, perhaps, but it's not your father's reaction you're scared of, is it?" Edward turned his face so that his question was audible against the wind whipping past as he sped us towards the meadow. I was stunned, though I suppose I shouldn't be. Edward couldn't read my mind, but I had no doubt Leia had told him about our conversation, the one where she had insisted that Edward would and wanted to propose. The one where I had hinted that my views on marriage were somewhat skewed by Renee's opinions.
"What if I told you it doesn't matter what my mother thinks about me marrying you?" I murmured against his ear. And for the first time in our acquaintance, I felt him falter. He did not fall, nor even drop to his knees. But he missed a step. I had surprised him, which meant Alice either wasn't paying attention to my decisions (yeah, riiight) or she was helping me out by not showing Edward everything. I tightened my arms around his neck and pressed a kiss against the cool skin behind his ear.
"Did you...want me to ask Charlie?" he asked haltingly as he slowed to a near human pace. He walked into the meadow a few seconds later and I dropped my feet to the ground. I moved around to the front of my love, not taking my arms from around his neck. I wove my fingers into his hair and smiled up at him.
"It doesn't matter what Charlie thinks either. I can't pretend that I don't care what their reactions will be. You're right. I'm scared to death of my mother's reaction, but in the long run this is just between you and me, Edward. I'm sorry if it's taken me a while to realize that. I know we had this conversation once before, but I think we should have it again. I've been incredibly childish about something that I know is very important to you," I said softly.
"Bella..." he started to protest, but I pulled my hand around and pressed my fingers to the smooth glass of his lips. I saw his golden eyes darken slightly and his protest stilled.
"Do you want to marry me?" I asked quietly. He didn't respond, a look of complete confusion on his beautiful face. I sighed softly, a wry smile playing across my mouth. "It's a simple question, Edward."
"Yes, more than almost anything," he said softly. "That's why I talked to your mother. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable doing, Bella."
"Why not? I ask you to do a lot of things you aren't comfortable doing, Edward. Honestly, you are never truly comfortable with me, are you, my love?" I asked tenderly. Edward sighed softly, bending down to skim his nose along the side of my face.
"I may not be comfortable, beloved, but I am content. Never doubt that."
"I know you're content, Edward, but I want you to be happy. I want to spoil you as much as you want to spoil me. Our relationship has been nothing but you giving of yourself time and time again, and me doing nothing but take. I need you to be selfish for once, Edward. Because God knows I am. I want you and I'm not willing to give you up, ever, damn the consequences."
"As usual, you do not see yourself clearly. Before you, Bella, my life was so cold. Yes, I had my family to keep me grounded and to show me that I was capable of love, but you, Bella, you crashed into my life and set the world on fire. You gave me life when before there was merely existence. You gave me love when I deserved none. And what have I done in return? I plunged you headfirst into the darkness of my world. How you can still love me after what I have done confounds me."
"I would endure every dark moment in our lives over and over again if I knew it would bring us here, if I could be sure that in the end I would be with you. Edward, I love everything about you. I love the predator and the man, I love your body and I love your mind. I love your soul, yes, your beautiful tortured soul. I even love your old-fashioned values. I wouldn't ask you to compromise who you are because of my insecurities."
"And I would not ask you to compromise who you are because I want to marry you. I can wait until you're ready, my love." Edward's gentle breath on my face scattered my wits, as usual, but I struggled to gather them again. This was important.
"What if I'm ready now, Edward? Marrying you was never the issue. It was my fear of disappointing my parents, of looking like a foolish lovesick teenager in the eyes of people that don't even matter. I'm not saying those things don't still bother me, but this is something I can give you, something that you want that is within my power to grant. Give me this chance, Edward, to give you something as you have given so much to me. Something I don't have to wait until after my change to give you."
"Bella, I..." Edward looked completely astounded. I stroked his cheek gently with my hand and leaned up to press a kiss on his lips. Then I slid my lips along his jaw and up to his ear.
"Don't overthink it, Edward. Just ask me," I whispered. He was completely still for just a moment and then he pulled back, looking into my eyes as if searching for something.
"God, Bella, I love you so much." Edward's velvet voice broke on the last word, a sure sign that he was affected by my words, my presence. Then he pulled away from me and dropped to one knee. He didn't bother to use human speed, so one moment I had him in my arms and the next he was on the ground, his face tilted up towards mine in the late afternoon sunlight. I managed to tear my gaze from his beautiful, glittering face to see the ring box balanced on his palm.
"Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?" Edward breathed. I was immediately captured by his face again. I had looked at the ring long enough to know that it was not your typical single diamond engagement ring. Not that I had expected anything different. My Edward would never settle for giving me something so cliché. I wasn't an expert on jewelry, but I was sure it was either an antique or he had commissioned it especially for me. I couldn't keep the huge, goofy smile off my face.
"It would be my greatest pleasure, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, to become your wife," I said, my voice shaking as I said those life altering words. I had just taken one more step towards my ever after with Edward and I was overcome with a flood of joy and relief. Edward's smile was suddenly a mirror of my own as he held my left hand and slid the ring onto my finger. It was a perfect fit.
"It was my mother's," he said softly, tracing the golden web of lace and diamonds that graced my left ring finger now. I took a moment to study it and sighed.
"It's beautiful Edward, as I'm sure she was. I am forever in her debt for asking Carlisle to save you," I said tenderly as he gathered me in his arms again, setting me on his knee. I nuzzled into his neck, blissfully content. I felt his lips against my hair, heard his deep inhale.
"For nearly one hundred years, I resented her decision. I hated what I had become and I blamed her, not Carlisle, for my existence. Now that I have found you, now that I have found the other half of my soul, I finally feel nothing but love for her. Thank you for loving me, Bella."
"Always and forever, Edward," I said, tears in my eyes. I hadn't missed the fact that he had called me the other half of his soul; a soul which until recently he hadn't been willing to consider still having. Perhaps he was finally willing to accept that he had a soul, at least to believe that it was possible.
Edward lifted my face to his and kissed me. At first it was a simple, chaste meeting of my warmth and his coolness. Then he parted his lips and let his tongue trace the contours of my mouth. His hands slipped beneath my shirt, stroking gently across my stomach and around my waist and up my spine. The combination of the cool breath on my mouth and the exquisite feeling of his hands on my skin made me groan. And for the first time, I felt the tip of his tongue slip between my lips to very tentatively stroke across mine. I dug my fingers into his hair and clung to him as he explored my mouth. It took every bit of my self control not to return the favor, knowing that the moment I attempted to put my tongue anywhere near his teeth, this make out session would be over. But I couldn't stop the urge to draw his tongue deeper into my mouth and suck on it gently.
"God, Bella, do you know what you do to me?" Edward moaned as he drew back sharply. His hands stilled, his perfect fingers curled so lightly around my sides that I barely felt them. I was light headed, as I often was when Edward let go of his control with me, even if it was only a little bit. When I finally caught my breath, I looked up at my fiancé. His eyes had darkened to near black. I knew they only did that for two different reasons. One was when his bloodlust was nearly overpowering. I knew that wasn't the case this time. He was overcome with desire. For me. A thrill of accomplishment shot through me from the top of my head to my toes. I had done that to him.
"At least you don't have to worry about passing out," I said with a wry smile. Edward chuckled softly, but I thought he looked more than a little pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes but couldn't keep the smile from my face. Edward pulled one hand from my side and gently traced the curve of my lips.
"You really are okay with this? With not waiting?" he asked seriously. I nodded.
"I don't want to wait anymore, Edward. But I do have two conditions. One, Alice doesn't try to turn our wedding into a three ring circus," I said this sternly, knowing without a doubt that my soon to be sister-in-law was undoubtedly spying on this scene and giving the rest of the family, Leia at the very least, a play by play. I heard Edward chuckle again.
"I promise to keep her reigned in, my love. But I do hope you will let her have a little fun. If you don't, I'm afraid we'll have to endure decades of pissed off pixie," he said. I giggled.
"Well, she can do the wedding planning, but I will be outlining a few limitations and I reserve the right to executive veto," I said this reluctantly and could almost hear Alice's squeals of joy from here. Edward leaned in and skimmed his lips across my forehead. I snuggled into his hard embrace with a sigh of contentment.
"So, what is the second condition, Bella?" Edward asked quietly after a moment of comfortable silence. I hummed to myself for a moment and then turned my face to kiss the side of his neck.
"I want a real honeymoon, Edward. That's what you meant at dinner, right? About waiting until the time was right?" I asked, unable to disguise the excitement in my voice. Edward went very still, locking me in his cool, granite embrace. I tilted my head up so I could see his face. His expression was smooth, but I had learned to read the emotions in his eyes. I watched as cautious joy warred with fear. The fear was always there when we talked about this subject. The joy was new, however, and it gave me hope that Edward was really and truly ready to trust himself enough to allow me this particular human experience. The only one that I had been willing to trade an extra six months as a human for.
"That is a reasonable request, one that I pray fervently that I can honor, Bella. Not just for you, but for me as well. I want to make love to you, Bella." His voice was hushed, almost reverent as he stroked his hand from my waist and over my ribs and back down again. I shivered in response and pressed my cheek to his.
"To hell with Alice. Let's just elope," I murmured softly.
Chapter End Notes:
Chapel O' Love, here they come! Woohoo! Reverend Elvis A. Presley presiding and random lounge pianist extraordinaire playing the wedding march. Celine Dion and Neil Diamond would be the perfect witnesses, wouldn't they? *wicked grin*