Morning all~! So school has resumed, what a pain -.- Ah well, it won't be long before the school is under my complete control anyway *sinister look*
Just To Say: I think you may have twigged by now that I take the rip out of the characters, and if you are still reading this fic then you clearly don't mind it :P

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31.) Send me stupid chain emails threatening to curse me with crap sex for life if I don't obey

-and so if you do not wish to die, you will step down immediately.
Sincerely,
You're Worst Nightmare

Light nodded to herself in approval as she re-read the essay long email that she had just written.
Fang suddenly busted into the room, calling out, "Hey Light! Wanna come kill some Behemoth's with me?"

However, when she clapped eyes on the pink haired woman staring intently at the screen, the Pulsian couldn't help but peek over her shoulder to see what was currently being displayed.
"Struth Light! What's this? I didn't think you sent death threats," she said in surprise.
"I admit that it is not my style," Lightning said without emotion, before her voice turned cold with, "However I have no idea of the whereabouts of this person, so death threats shall have to suffice for now."

Fang perused the email further to see who the recipient was, because whoever it was that had annoyed Light to this extent had a limited time left to live.
"Noctis? Who's that?" she asked.
"That stupid rich boy who thinks that he's better than me."
"Oh yeah," Fang said, recalling the incident the other day, "You seriously gonna threaten him with this?"
"Yes," Farron said before clicking 'send'.

It was a couple of days later that Light got her reply:

DON'T READ THIS!
Okay, now that you have gone against what I said, you are now obliged to comply with my every word. If you do not resend this to 10 users in your email list, then you will never have decent sex again. Ever. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! So you'd better get resending!

"THIS LITTLE BRAT THINKS HE CAN THREATEN ME? WELL HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! CAELUM, YOU HAVE JUST MADE A VERY POWERFUL ENEMY!" Light yelled in a rage.

Meanwhile, in a place far far away, Noctis took a closer look at the people he had randomly selected to forward the email to. "LightningStrike at ffmail?" he muttered to himself, "Who's that?"
It was only at this moment that he actually read the threatening email, and he realised that he had just made a potentially fatal mistake by sending this person that chain mail...

32.) Support a team from a city you have never lived in

Hope never really felt as if he belonged, it seemed as though he was a bit of an outcast at times. He couldn't understand just why it was that everyone, including the females, seemed to be much braver than him. After all, he was a teenage boy, and usually they are brimming with confidence. However, Hope knew that this was not the case with him, and it really didn't help that he was often mistaken for a girl. And so, to make up for his startling femininity, he became a supporter of a totally manly sport: Blitzball.

Brushing up on everything he needed to know, Hope soon made it clear that he was a total guy by wearing the badass Blitzball outfit of the team he supported: The Nautilus Legends.

"Hey Hope!" Snow called out cheerily as he was on his way to get some food. He stopped when he saw what the teen was wearing. "I didn't know you liked Blitzball," he said in surprise.
Hope merely nodded vaguely as he made a sarcastic comment along the lines of, "Why would you know something like that about me?"
The NORA leader failed to pick up on the negative vibes being given off by the other, and grinned as he said, "I love Blitzball! I used to play when I was younger and everything! And of course I still support my home team: The Bodhum Blitzers!"

The silver haired one looked up with interest all of a sudden, he had no idea Snow was also a fan of the sport. Although, I guess I'm not too surprised. Snow thinks he's mister macho after all.

"Hey, why are you wearing the kit for The Nautilus Legends?" asked the Sentinel, taking a closer look at Hope's uniform. "Shouldn't you support your home team too? Aren't they The Palumpolum Panthers?"
Hope just snorted at this. Although he didn't have that much knowledge of the sport, he knew that The Palumpolum Panthers were absolutely abysmal at Blitzball. They had never won their division at all. The Nautilus Legends on the other hand, won practically all of the time.

When he told this to Snow, the blonde widened his eyes and conveyed a shocked expression. This was when, for the first time ever, Snow actually understood what was going on. I see... he clearly knows nothing about Blitzball.

"Hey... I heard that the Nautilus team you support are gonna play Palumpolum. How about we make a bet?"
Hope narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but Snow had his usual stupid grin on and so the silver came to the conclusion that the Sentinel was incapable of scheming something.
"Sure, you take Palumpolum and I'll take Nautilus."

Snow nodded happily and said, "Deal! The loser has to do tomorrow's training on the Archylte Steppe totally naked!"
Hope just stared at the other as if he was completely insane, however he soon smirked and said, "Deal." He really is an idiot! the teen thought to himself, He's supposed to know much more about this than me, yet he went and picked a crappy team!

It was the next day, when Hope was dying of embarrassment as everyone laughed at him, that he vowed to take revenge on Snow.

It turns out that The Palumpolum Panthers were in the highest division possible, one of the top teams in the world. The reason they seldom won the overall tournament was because their competition was extremely high. The Nautilus Legends however, were just in an average division. Long story short, the Nautilus team were completely obliterated and Hope lost the bet.

"Haha! He looks even more like a girl now!" Fang laughed hysterically, pointing at the naked boy, "It's even easier to mistake him for a girl like this!" When the others couldn't help but agree, Hope decided to storm back to base camp in a rage and contemplated ending it all there and then with the knife Light had lent him.
He didn't of course; he still had to kill Snow. The bastard even had the nerve to call him "pretty"... he had to die.

33.) Look at me funny

Theme music plays and an audience clap as a woman looks at the camera and smiles.
"Hello and welcome back to Jihl's Corner. I am your host Jihl Nabaat, and today I have Anima with me here in the studio!" The audience cheered and Jihl kept up her cheesy host routine, despite thinking, I am not getting paid enough for this. "Anima, before the break you told us about your childhood, and now I shall ask the question vying on everyone's mind: Why did you choose Lightning and the others to become Pulse l'Cie?"

Excited whispers ran around the audience, eager to hear Anima's answer.

"Well you see," he said in a booming voice, "It was rather lonely on the Vestige. When I saw humans, I thought that I'd try and make a good impression." He slumped sadly as he recalled the event, "But before I could even introduce myself, some crazy lady with pink hair started slashing away at me!" He flailed his huge turbine-like arms around wildly, remembering all to clearly what happened.

"I emerged fully, to try and sort out the misconception this woman seemed to have about me, but she just commanded her two male companions to attack me!" Anima pouted as he said, "It was so unfair! I only wanted to be friends but she was just screaming at me and attacking me!"

"You poor thing!" Jihl said, sounding like she actually cared when in fact she just wanted to go to a bar. "So why did you turn them into l'Cie? Was it because they attacked you?"

"No," Anima frowned. "I mean, I could sort of understand that. After all, I don't exactly look like the friendliest Fal Cie. However..." he paused before continuing, narrowing his eyes. "The reason I turned them was because they did something that I absolutely cannot stand, and that was: They looked at me funny!"

There was complete silence in the studio, and it was Nabaat who asked the question everyone wanted to ask. "So you turned them because... they looked at you funny?"

"Yes," the entity replied. "Wounds heal, but some things are just downright hurtful! So I turned them into l'Cie."

Meanwhile, Light and the others were busy watching the show together. Farron was completely outraged with this answer, but to her annoyance the others just hung their heads in shame and said, "Well... we did look at him funny."

And that is why you should always be kind to others.

34.) Try to stop a house party

Music was blaring. Loud, rave music that was beginning to scare poor Hope Estheim. He had had a rather traumatic past few days, especially the fact that he had lost that bet. He wasn't sure how long Fang was intending to keep calling him 'the simpering maiden' but he hoped that it would stop soon.
Anyway, the current problem he found himself in was that the others had decided that they needed to relax and unwind, and somehow this resulted in a manic house party. Hope just wanted to sleep, but the music was so freaking loud that it didn't look like it was going to happen in the very near future.

He could hear Snow cheering merrily, Light slurring something or another, Fang and Vanille laughing together and Sazh DJ-ing (because he was immense as that).
Eventually enough was enough, and so the young teen ventured to where his companions were partying in a bid to get them to break it up and go to sleep already. Now if the silver haired one had any sense at all, he wouldn't have done that, because it is common knowledge that you do not, under any circumstances, try to break up a house party. Sadly, as he was currently sleep deprived and in a foul mood, Hope did not think things through at all.

To avoid giving needless details, all you need to know is that the group were not happy with being told to quieten down. Pre-empting what would happen, Sazh changed the track to 'I Predict A Riot' as Fang literally pounced on the small boy and stripped him so that she could make more 'simpering maiden' references (later dressing Hope up in some of Vanille's spare clothes), Sailor Lightning attacked him with 'Super Huggly Hugs And Flowers Beam', Vanille was standing by squealing and making those generally suggestive noises that she does, and Snow just giggled like a schoolgirl for no good reason whatsoever.

35.) Honk your horn the moment the lights turn green

Remember that cut scene? You know, the one where there were all those cars racing and then the l'Cie dropped out of the sky and crashed it with their Eidolons? The one where (if you were normal like me) you literally yelled, "HOLY FRICK THAT WAS EPIC!" and you regretted not saving relatively close to this scene because that meant you couldn't just turn off your console and watch it again? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Anywho, this cut scene was rather misleading.

Sure it appeared to be a race, when in actuality it was just traffic gone horribly wrong.
It all started with a traffic jam, with impatient people getting out of their vehicles and yelling (because that's totally gonna help the situation) at other people to get a move on. The second those lights turned green, all Hell broke lose. People honked their horns the very instant they saw the colour, people at the front got startled and so rushed their vehicles to go as fast as they could, the evil flying motorcycles from Palumpolum even appeared! And it was during this utter chaos that the l'Cie entered, looking epically cool with their Eidolons.

Sadly, the people of Cocoon weren't aware that the l'Cie appeared because they had just travelled through a warp-gate, and took it to mean that if ever people got impatient with traffic ever again, more Pulse l'Cie would descend upon them and cause complete devastation. This lead to traffic lights being banned, in the hope that no traffic would ever appear again.

In fact, all they got were streets a thousand times more dangerous, which soon ended up being filled with Pulse creatures anyway (which the Cocoon residents took to meant that they just shouldn't drive t all). Now please take a moment of silence for the poor people who suffered at the feet of the mighty Adamantoise.

36.) Own a 4x4

Sazh was out for a leisurely drive in Brynhildr one day on Pulse, when all of a sudden he came across something he never expected to see: someone driving a 4x4.

Now as Sazh was environmentally friendly, he disliked those who owned gas-guzzling cars such as these. However, he was curious to see who was driving the 4x4, because as far as he was aware; his companions and himself were the only humans (or l'Cie if you're gonna be picky) on Pulse.

The gun wielder shifted gears and drew up close to the 4x4, and he was not at all prepared for what he was about to see.
In the drivers seat of the vehicle was his arch nemesis: the Cactuar.

As soon as the green cactus spotted Sazh, he pulled a face and made rude noises before shifting gears and zooming off.
"Oh so you wanna play now?" Sazh yelled, determined not to be one upped by the overgrown foliage. He also shifted gears and gave chase.

The Cactuar was a rather skilled driver and easily maneuvererd dangerous rocks and cliff faces and effortlessly dodged potentially fatal potholes. However, the man with the Afro was equally as skilled and was following hot on the trail of the animate cactus. Sadly, Cactuar knew Pulse better than his pursuer, and so somehow managed to defy all the laws of physics by driving over a giant gorge in the 4x4, neatly landing on the other side unharmed.

Sazh could not do this, and he knew it. "Dammit," he cursed under his breath and glared as the Cactuar climbed out of its vehicle to do a patronising dance in mockery of him.
"Oh that's it, you've gone too far now!" he yelled, pushing a button on the dashboard of Brynhildr.

What this resulted in was a combination of Caltrop Bomb and Múspell Flame, which easily reached over the gorge and burned the Cactuar and that wretched 4x4.

"And that's what you get when you mess with Sazh Katzroy," he said coolly, putting a pair of shades on and driving off in epic slow motion as fiery explosions went off behind him.

37.) Wear a tracksuit somewhere unrelated to sports

Snow let out a melancholy sigh.
When the young teen didn't acknowledged him, he cleared his throat extremely loudly, and proceeded to sigh once again. He continued to be ignored until he literally put his head on Hope's shoulder and sighed once again.

"For Fal Cie's sake Snow! What do you want?" Hope asked angrily, pushing the other away from him.

"It's just annoying," the NORA leader said sadly.
"What is?"
"Well, everyone has something to define them ya know? Like, Fang is the totally badass babe, everyone just loves Light, Vanille is the cute moe person, Sazh is the epic black guy and you are the androgynous bishounen character."

Before Hope could whack him one for calling him an 'androgynous bishounen', Snow was pouting as he said, "But there's nothing that defines me! I mean, I say that I'm the hero, but it's kind of a team effort so I can't take all the credit! I tried being black and you all told told me off, then I tried being Irish but sis beat me up... how can I define myself?"

"How should I know?" Hope muttered angrily, trying to figure out how he could change his image because if even Snow recognised how girly he looked then the others must have noticed it as well.

I need a new image! they both thought simultaneously.

And so it came to pass that after watching an advert for a sports commercial, they became the trackie-wearing guys of the group. This in itself wasn't too much of a problem at first, but similarly to how blacks and wannabe blacks will turn 'gangsta' once they wear sunglasses inside, those that wear trackie's 24/7 will think that they are chavs and try to knife you.

It was when the others were running away from the delusional duo who were madly waving knives around, that tracksuits were banned from their l'Cie group.

38.) Punch me in a friendly way

"Hey Fang!" Snow called cheerily to his fellow heavy hitter. She merely grunted to acknowledge the fact that she was aware of his presence. "How're you?" he asked, playfully punching her on the shoulder lightly.

The Pulsian warrior took this to mean that Snow wanted to fight, and because he was not expecting it, the poor blonde ended up knocked out within a matter of seconds.

"Pick a fight with me and you will lose," she said and stalked off, probably to go and sabotage the toilet.

39.) Turn your boxers inside out to get an extra day out of them

As they didn't exactly pack for a trip to Pulse, the l'Cie found themselves at a loss on what to do when their clothes needed washing. In the end, they came up with a system of washing their garments at Sulyya Springs at different times because they would bathe there as well. Well, the females had no problems about communal bathing but the males in the group came to the conclusion that bathing with another guy would be 'gay' and so they worked a rota system. However, whenever things got very busy, some of the guys (Snow and Sazh, Hope wouldn't even think of such things) would occasionally turn their underwear inside out to avoid the hassle of washing them.

When Vanille and Light found out about this, they both pulled faces of disgust and ordered the men to go and clean their underwear at once. Fang on the other hand, wondered why she hadn't ever thought of that ingenious plan.

It was when they were at Sulyya Springs that it happened: they had to bathe together. After all, they both smelled awful and so it was decided that they would have to do something about that. It was Snow who made the first move, deciding that a hero was never afraid, and that being able to bathe with another guy was a way of showing how masculine he was. He began to strip, and Sazh figured that if Snow had no problem with it then just this once he could be cool about it as well.

As the blonde was naked first, he jumped into the water and closed his eyes as he let clean feelings wash over him. When he opened them again, he was met with the sight of a naked Sazh about to climb into the lake.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide.
"What?" Sazh asked, pausing at the edge of the water in case Snow had felt some weird monster thing swimming about.
"You... you... THAT'S SO UNFAIR! ARE YOU FOR REAL? WHY CAN'T I BE BLACK AS WELL!" The NORA leader began flailing his arms about wildly, while the chocobo lover watched him with a confused expression.

Eventually Snow calmed down and pouted as he said, "Geez, you sure know how to make a guy feel inadequate."

Ever since then, Snow became all quiet and subdued whenever Sazh was around, and muttered something the lines of, "It's only cuz he's black that he's like that, for a white guy you're great... you totally are... I'd better double check by comparing with Hope to make sure though!"

40.) Try to touch me

"Hey Light!" Snow called out happily to his future sister-in-law. He was still pretty bruised from his encounter with Fang earlier that day, he didn't understand why he was suddenly attacked by her, but at least Lightning would hear him out.

"Fang was really mean to me~" he moaned, casually draping an arm around Farron. This turned out to be a fatal mistake, because Lightning is very protective of her personal space. For the second time that day, Snow ended up sprawled on the floor in a semi-conscious state. "I just wanted... to say hi... what is it with these people?" he mumbled as he tried to regain his strength.

Meanwhile, Lightning decided that she needed an urgent bathroom break...

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As usual:
32- Blitzball! Ah, Final Fantasy X memories~ ^_^
33- I honestly have no earthly idea how or why that turned out the way it did...
35- Best. Cut. Scene. EVER.

Anywho, lemme know what you guys and girls think~ I'm actually planning something a little different for the next chapter because an upcoming rule gave me an idea... review to find out what will happen! ;D
For reading this: Thank you, merci, danke, arigato, grazie, gracias etc. :P

xx-animeXalchemist-xx