(A/N) Sorry this took so long coming out. But my grades were horrible; it was the holiday season and all that jazz. I'm also really sorry that you all waited this long and it's not a completely new chapter. I'll try to be faster next time. Please don't lose faith in me.
--
I listened to the sound of heavy army boots clunking against the floor as he walked down the aisle. The footsteps outside paused. Loz kept on walking to the front most pew… well the front most pew still in tact. He whirled around a bit too fast, making my stomach wrench, and proceeded to place me down on it. The cool wood against my back felt so good I wasn't even paying attention when he took out a syringe and removed the cap. I did, however, see him reveal the second one!
I opened my mouth to shout to whoever was outside, but no sooner had I done that, he covered it with his gloved palm. I looked nothing but confused. What was he planning on doing with those? I watched him look both the needles over and selected one. Sadly, the one that scared me more. I didn't find the other much better, but the fluid in that one looked less threatening. The stuff in the one he picked was vibrant and yellow, practically orange.
"This wasn't my idea, Nii San." He said apologetically. "I mean… you're already sick… that should be enough. But he told me to."
Nii San? This guy had to be at least twenty!
When I saw the sharp needle begin to move my mind was screaming to thrash, kick, anything! But whenever I tried there was a pain in my stomach and I couldn't move. I did the only thing I could, which was pout behind his hand. He hesitated, but didn't stop. That made me kinda downhearted. Whoever the guy was pulling the strings must really hate me. Needles were not one of my favorite things. I couldn't think much more about it before he grabbed my arm and held it to my side.
"Make a fist." He said after a moment.
I shook my head. I wasn't going to let him do this.
I was briefly distracted when the footsteps outside started again. I looked away and he took the opportunity to curl my fingers into a fist and drive the needle into the vein. I winced from the small sting of the needle, but it was over before I could even comprehend what was going into my body. He took the needle out and tossed it away. I looked confused again. What was that supposed to do? I didn't feel any different.
He removed his hand and looked up. "Hello." I heard him say before I stopped paying attention. What had he done to me? I didn't care who he was talking to at the moment, I just wanted to know what that was supposed to do to me. I was starting to feel something… or was that just the nausea acting up again? Whatever it was, it was going past annoying. I felt something rising up in my throat, but I held it in as best I could. I did okay with that for a few minutes until there was a sharp pain in my stomach and I couldn't help but let it out.
"Auugh…!"
The voices in the background ceased among other sounds. The only noise left was Loz fumbling. He kept on looking back to the other person in the room and then to me. I covered my face with my hands to avoid his stare. I hated people staring at me so much. I only peeked when I heard a thud next to me.
"You have to be quiet." He whispered. "You're not crying again, are you?" He asked taking my hands off my face. I had to say I was a little happy I wasn't. However, I must've looked upset because he started stroking my hair like Zack always did. I felt the embarrassment coming back to me. "Just go to sleep." I watched him look up and glare, but I didn't care who he was glaring at. I ignored his suggestion… or order and thought. All of his actions a moment ago just made me think of Zack. The black haired man certainly was handsome and he would probably make some lucky girl very happy. I mean, what's not to like about him? He was certainly friendly and comforting. You could read his emotions well. I was lucky to have him as a friend… or think of him as a friend. He saved me after all and again today!
"Let's go."
Huh?! Somewhere along the line someone had picked me up, put me on my feet, and started dragging me out the door. I was just so confused. I forced myself to look up and saw a gloved hand on my arm. My eyes shot up and down to see black clothes, lightly tanned skin, and a head full of black spikes. Zack!!! I was so happy I didn't notice the twinge inside of me. I was too late to notice and ended up falling to my knees. I had to guess Zack didn't notice either because he kept on dragging me through the dirt for a few more steps. I was so relieved when he stopped and released my arm.
I felt something coming up, instantly I tried my best to keep it down. That was always so hard, nearly impossible! But I didn't want to puke in front of Zack! With Loz, I simply didn't want to show any weakness. I just didn't want to be gross in front of Zack. I couldn't understand it though. I got sick a lot from all this traveling around in trucks and other vehicles army based, but it's never gotten so bad that I had to puke. This was strange. But no matter what I wasn't going to give up that easily. I clutched my stomach, desperate to keep the contents inside. I groaned a big long groan and it soon became too painful to keep it down. I shut my eyes tight and let it out.
I opened one eye when it was finished. Zack was staring at me again. Was he staring while I was puking?! Oh Gaia why?! Did he understand why I did it? I don't think he knew I had motion sickness. I looked back at him for what seemed like a while. He didn't look grossed out. I guess that was good. He actually looked relieved. Relieved that I puked?! Oh well. If he was relieved it must be a good thing. He had looked tense for the longest time.
Before I could even wipe the excess stuff off my mouth, he walked over and I was picked up again. When he did so, it was all too fast for my stomach to stay comfortable. It churned at the movement and made me feel like I was going to barf again. I did my best to get the stuff off of my mouth but I didn't really have anything to wipe it off with. It was gross, but it was only a little drizzle and I could always wash my glove later. Taking that into account, I rubbed my hand against it and didn't look at it after. Seeing it would just make me do it again.
My stomach lurched and I failed to stop the little whining noise from escaping my mouth. I looked up at Zack to see if he heard. It didn't look like he had. But I could be wrong. His hearing was much better than mine. If anything, he was just being nice and pretending to ignore it. Whatever he was doing, he kept on staring off into space. What was he thinking about I wonder.
I whined again without noticing, my stomach gave another loud protest and I realized now that he was running. Oh no. There was more pain coming from my midsection and I felt the effects of holding the contents in again; even though I'd been doing it unconsciously. Shutting my eyes tight, I couldn't even bring myself to talk. I was afraid I'd simply scream if I opened my mouth. But I had to force it out. I wasn't going to puke on Zack!
I shut my eyes tightly and took a breath.
"Zack…" I said weakly.
I felt him slow down until he eventually stopped. It didn't really help much, but it was a kind gesture. I opened my eyes to see him staring yet again. What was with him and staring at me? I didn't want to be stared at. I wanted to be let down! His face took a look of puzzlement for a moment, then took on an 'oh my gosh!' look. I stared directly back into his eyes as he put me down as slowly as he possibly could.
Once he let me down, I laid there in a daze as I realized my body heat must've been rising because the cool ground felt as good as the wood had. As uncomfortable as the ground was, I rolled over onto my side in an attempt to ba a little more comfortable. Just as I did that, I coughed up my stomach's contents once again. I think… this time it was better though. I didn't feel sick afterwards! I felt lightheaded, but I didn't feel miserable. I wanted to look over and tell Zack but as soon as I looked up, I felt like I was going to pass out. I guess I moved too fast too soon.
That was a normal symptom of mine. What was going on?
I slowly curled up trying to make the feeling go away. Once it receded I lifted myself up as much as I could with only my hands. I looked up at Zack completely miserable again. I didn't feel nauseous, but I didn't like feeling so weak. I was already a meek, clumsy little nothing, but if anything being sick like this was amplifying it so I was about twice as bad as usual! Zack didn't see me though. He was staring at something else. For once! First time for everything I guess.
I tried to sit up on my knees but, like everything else, it didn't work out. I fell forward back onto my hands. I looked at Zack again, he still wasn't looking. I wanted to know what he was thinking, what was he staring at? "Zack?" I asked. "What are you staring at?"
I was a little sorry I asked. As soon as I did, he turned his stare onto me again. Probably just observing my… condition or something, but I'd still like it better if he talked to me while staring. I didn't like people gaping at me. Too many weird experiences with people doing that. First that guy when I was a kid… huh… then about a handful of cadets I knew, some infantrymen, even guys in SOLDIER! Of course I never thought much of it because they stared at others as well. But it didn't change the fact that I didn't like the creepy crawly feeling it gave me.
I didn't say anything else. I just waited for him to respond. I was getting a little shaky, but I wasn't going to let myself fall. Wow. I'd been saying that a lot today. I was simply determined not to show any more weakness. Not today at least. Tomorrow I'd allow myself a few blunders, but today there were too many. For now, I'd just watch him straight back… even though he was being creepy. Really creepy. Did I just see his lips twitch almost into a smirk?
"Um…"
What? Need time to think after daydreaming for so long?
"… You see that cliff?" He asked.
I looked to my right. There was a cliff with something lodged into it. Looking back, I nodded. "We have to go up there and get that sword." Okay. Didn't I see a different man with that guillotine sword? I was certain. I'd seen that exact blade in the hands of a first class SOLDIER with slicked back black hair. What on earth was it doing there?
"Okay… Doesn't that belong to another First?" I asked. I was so confused, but I think I succeeded in not letting it show. To be honest, I was sick of the confused feeling. It was becoming way too familiar.
There he went. Zack staring off into space, yet again. What was he always thinking about? He didn't even answer my question. It was like I had never even spoken. He was so spacey. Wait. What'd he just do? …Why was he shaking his head? I got the feeling that I'd missed something. Like I was out of the loop on a big joke. I bit my lower lip nervously. Something about this moment just seemed awkward. My eyes followed him as he walked towards me. My limbs trembled a little more violently once I caught sight of his own blue eyes. They were the windows to his very soul. The only soul on this planet that I ever felt truly safe with. But that was something I just couldn't tell him. I mean I was a boy and he was… a man. It'd probably be awkward for him, and I didn't want him to find me queer. Even though I denied it, I felt a red blush burning on my cheeks. Fortunately, I don't think he noticed with my face already being flushed.
Something of a squeak rose up from my throat when Zack wrapped his arms around me. The squeak was combined with an irk with my body realizing that it was being lifted up into the air again. I didn't like the rush in my head or appreciate being turned around onto my back. I felt the sickness coming back, but only for a moment. I didn't want to be carried. I was tired of playing the part of the damsel in distress; I wanted to walk with him. My legs felt fine now, I could walk. Another noise escaped my lips which made him look down at me with an angry father look. Or what I could assume was one. I wouldn't know, I didn't have a scolding father, I didn't have a father.
Pouting, as the proper response to such a look, didn't get any reaction out of him. He must be harder to break than Loz… that wasn't much of a surprise. Loz was a dimwit to put it bluntly. Zack was a bit absent minded, but not stupid. I should've known he wouldn't fall for that. He must not believe that I could walk on my own… I guess I shouldn't take it for granted. It must be one of those times like when you're a child with the flu. You think you're okay and yet your mother won't let you out of bed and you are soooo bored! So is Zack playing that part of my mother, or my father at this point? Was there a way to tell? Did mothers and fathers act differently in this kind of situation? I wish I knew. Maybe I could ask Zack about his parents and he could tell me if a mother and father acted different from one another.
"Z…" I started and stopped. He wasn't paying attention. It was near impossible for me to talk to this man. Maybe I shouldn't even try! I think the only semi-conversation I'd had with him was over the phone. Perhaps that was how I was going to have to talk to him from now on. Through texting or something. Perhaps I should try it right now. I tried but no. Darn. Zack had such a tight grip on me that I couldn't move my arms to reach my phone in my pocket. He was paying absolutely no attention to the world around him.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. We were at least heading directly toward that sword. Why did he need that sword? Who was this guy and why was he out to get me?! I couldn't think of anything or anyone. I knew I'd been obsessing about this, but who wouldn't be? None of this seemed really real.
Maybe it wasn't.
Maybe this was all a test. I wouldn't understand why they'd bother testing cadets this way. I guess it could be a survival thing or just something to see how I'd act in this situation. That must be it! Perhaps I'd get some points back for figuring it out because I was sure I was failing right now. I had to be saved by Zack about twice now and that was at the very least. Now Zack wouldn't trust me to even walk on my own anymore. I wonder if I had any chance of passing anymore. Maybe I'd already failed beyond hope. That would explain why things were so calm right now. This being a test would also explain why no one had come after us for deserting by now.
Or Zack actually had clearance to be… wherever we were and was just dragging me along. I wouldn't mind that. I guess I wouldn't mind it if he would tell me. No wait. That wouldn't make sense. Then who would I have made so angry? The way Zack was so afraid, the way everyone was so afraid of this guy. They made it sound as though he was as powerful as the great general Sephiroth. There was NO one out there as strong as him. So who else could everyone be so afraid of? Not that the general was ever a man to fear. Given he was very intimidating in stature and appearance, but he really was kind and from what I heard a good friend to have. No one ever complained about him. I wonder what Zack thought of him. Perhaps that'd be something else I could talk to him about. Some small talk. If I ever got the chance to talk to him. I guess at this rate I should consider texting him about it. Of course I didn't have unlimited texting so either he was going to have to start talking to me or I would have to run up my phone bill. My mother would kill me if I lost all the money she sent me texting one of my… friends? That was specifically what she told me not to do. She said only text in case of an emergency or something along those lines. To be honest I don't think she understood cell phones yet. If it's a big emergency, unless you have plenty of practice, you don't really have the time to text.
I shuffled around a bit to try and get more comfortable. I don't think he was aware of it, but his grip was tightening on me every two minutes or so. What was he thinking about?! I looked up at him from my still uncomfortable position in his arms to see his face riddled with concentration. Was he remembering something? I swallowed hard hoping it wasn't… that. I didn't want him to remember such a weak moment. I guess I did put up a better fight back then than I was now. Of course all of those guys weren't intimidating SOLDIERs! How would I ever stand a chance against these guys? I wasn't completely sure they actually were SOLDIERs, but they definitely weren't human.
"Ugh!"
Huh?! He made a sound. Was he conscious at last? I was about ready to speak but my stomach came back to life and remembered it was in a horrible state. I felt like puking again and I just couldn't bring myself to whine anymore. It all came on so suddenly and rose up my throat faster than any other. I sealed my lips and kicked to try and let myself fall. Zack just squeezed me tighter. No! I kicked again but harder and twisted around in his arms until I felt myself on solid ground.
I finished puking and rolled over onto my side once again. Naturally, my back was facing it. I didn't want to see that stuff. My throat really burned and my mouth was filthy. Just thinking about it made me feel gross. Not only that. But I was feeling absolutely exhausted. I had no idea where this had come from but this was ten times worse than my motion sickness. I had no energy left. I was fine a minute ago but now I felt like I couldn't even get up. I wanted Zack to hold me again. I couldn't understand why, but I wanted to be held. I was being so bipolar about this. But that didn't change how I felt at the time. Please, Zack, please. I know I'm gross but please. Lull me to sleep again. I don't want to feel this pain. At this point I'd welcome a coma!
I tensed up when I heard footsteps. Was he really going to do it? I looked over as far as I could without straining myself and watched his boots carry him closer and closer to me. I waited in anticipation for the embrace. The feeling of safety. Right now, I wanted it more than anything. I wanted him to tell me it was okay and calm my very soul. I wanted to be numb.
"Can I borrow your kerchief?" He asked.
What?!
I couldn't believe it. He wasn't going to help me at all. He wanted… my kerchief? C'mon Zack. You didn't freak me out that bad last time. This time I want you to! Please!
The feeling of confusion and disappointment washed over my face as the words left his lips. He only took on a look of confusion back. Did he think I was afraid of him? Well… maybe I was. But I think it was just intimidation. I mean he was a SOLDIER! But I think he's my friend. Why wouldn't he be? I wasn't important and yet he was saving me all the time. That's what friends did for each other, right? I'd assume so. I didn't have much to go on, but it was certainly a stereotypical… best frienditude? … Yeah… that he was displaying. At least I hope that's what it was and he wasn't just like all the other friendly guys. However, if that were the case, I'm sure he'd have let something slip by now. And he wasn't like the others. I was sure he'd never do anything to hurt me.
I blinked a few times and shook the thought off. Unfortunately the slight movement caused my nausea to act up once again. I cupped a hand to my mouth to hold in anything that may come up and nodded.
"Thanks." He smiled.
I couldn't help but smile back weakly. His smile was contagious. He had a way of taking all of the darkness out of a grim situation. I took my hand off of my mouth so he could take the kerchief from around my neck. I saw him cover the lower half of his face with it before my head got heavy and I tore my eyes away from the scene.
--
What was going on? Loz, what did you do to me?! There's no way this is my motion sickness anymore. I rarely ever got this sick from it; and when I did, I never puked more than once. But now I felt as though I were going to –
Too late.
I just puked again. Crap!
I couldn't go on like this. I was causing Zack so much trouble. It's way too late to feel regret now, but I had to stop being helpless and start helping out with this mess. I was sure I could do something once this illness subsides. I mean, I probably couldn't do much but I could provide for a great distraction. Maybe throw in a few surprise attacks. Heck! If I could get my hands on a gun, even just a pistol, I could help with improving our current position of retreat. Taking the offensive was already out of our reach. We were too outnumbered. But if we could move up to defense and gain a standing position we might just be able to turn this around and run when they stumble. After all, the defense had an advantage in most cases. Defending a position was much easier than trying to take it.
At least that's what they always said in class.
"Damn!"
Huh?! What was that? Did Zack just lash out and swear?! That could only mean one thing.
We were screwed.
Wait… what was he leaning on? He didn't seem to notice, but he was leaning against a motorcycle. I watched him raise his fist and bring it back down hard against the shining metal. The contact made a hollow, metallic sound. That definitely brought him out of dreamland.
I heard him mumble something with a shocked look on his face and let it go from there. I went back to my own thoughts and tried to reanalyze our situation. I didn't get very far. The recap was interrupted by my realization that my nausea had subsided. Something was lingering but it wasn't as unbearable as before. However, it was replaced with a feeling of exhaustion, probably because I'd lost everything I'd eaten all day and my body was now running off of nothing. Not to mention the after effects of puking even once. And even though I refused to look at it I knew the last few times it had been nothing but bile.
I really, desperately wanted to take a bath, I'd even settle for a three minute shower back at the barracks. The only thing I really wanted right now was a bathroom. Then I could wash up and brush my teeth. Oh Gaia, I wanted to get this crap out of my mouth! The muck coating my teeth was currently torturing my tongue so much that it was cowering in the back of my throat.
"Cloud." I looked up and stared. "I'm sorry, but we have to go."
Yet again arms wrapped around me and lifted me up off the ground. My nausea came back for a slight moment from the pressure and being spun around onto my back. I groaned from the discomfort, but thankfully it soon vanished again and it didn't show any signs of coming back. I didn't mind it though. He held me close to him for the briefest moment. I nuzzled against his shirt and took in the aroma of the cotton fibers of his shirt, the metallic residue most likely from his sword, and a misty mountain cologne I'd smelled somewhere before. I only caught myself in realizing what I was doing when my eyes almost rolled into the back of my head. That was not okay! I don't know why I even did that.
I thought about pulling away from him and demanding not to be carried anymore but I didn't have to. He brought me away from his chest and I felt myself being set down on the leather seat of the motorcycle. The feeling of it was very comfortable and somewhat familiar. But I was certain I'd never seen this bike before.
Sadly, the comfort didn't last. Zack was trying to fit himself on the bike behind me. I soon found myself awkwardly hunched over with him leaning over me to start the bike. I didn't want to lean forward that much…
Maybe I could make this work.
It wasn't that bad. I mean. Zack wasn't a pervert and my stomach was feeling more or less better.
I simply adjusted myself and soon felt as though I could fall asleep right in that spot. I didn't even notice when the bike started. It was going at a slow speed and, if anything, that made me feel even drowsier. My eyelids felt heavy. Oh so heavy. But whenever I closed them, my mind would not shut down. I tried to grasp the tiny threads dancing in front of me through the dark. The few loose threads hanging from the veil of the maiden of the night. Maybe if I caught them she would let me sleep.
I ran after her, blindly, through the dark. I went as fast as my legs could carry me, even that wasn't fast enough. She was always ten steps ahead of me.
"I'm apologizing in advance for this." I heard Zack say. His voice drew me out of my in between. My mind and my eyes were made light when the bike accelerated until I felt myself sliding back into Zack.
I looked ahead, blinking a few times, and noticed something coming. Some dust rising. Glancing toward Zack, I saw he wasn't paying attention again. "Look out!" I shouted to make him look forward as well.
As soon as he did, the irritation to my eyes from the speed became too much and I shut them as tight as I could. It was such a relief. They had been so dry without me even noticing.
But the irritation only continued. Not in my eyes, but in my head. Once I closed my lids, all I saw was Zack. He was just… smiling. The same old smile with the same old bright eyes. Eyes infused with mako energy. If anything, that made me stare at them even longer. I'd only stare at this image that was haunting me however, never at the real one of course. Sure he stared at me, but it was probably just for observations. If I stared at him for absolutely no reason, I'd just be weird. He, most likely, thought I was weird enough already. I didn't even understand why I was acting this way, why should he? I mean, what was that that I'd done with my eyes just now anyway? Nothing made sense anymore!
Why was I such an idiot?!
It was bad enough that I was a clumsy little failure back at the barracks! Now I finally got out in the field and I had to be saved all the time! And by Zack! I owed him so much. I wonder what he was going to ask me to do to pay him back. I felt so bad I'd do just about… anything.
"Ah." I gasped. Everything suddenly got cold and my body lost it and I started to shiver. I told myself to stop over and over in my head, but I had no control over myself!
I could feel Zack tense up and say something in a low growl. He must've been pissed.
There was a crash… and then… nothing.
--
I woke up to Loz patting me on the head. I glanced up to see Zack and Yazoo glaring at each other. The situation hadn't changed. That must've meant I was out for all of a second before waking up again.
Looking back at Loz, I saw that he was trying to say something. I couldn't hear it over the roar of the motor and I made that clear. He nodded and slipped something into Zack's pocket, then patted my head again. I didn't respond. Instead I closed my eyes and tried to control the shaking and spasm my body was dealing out.
Zack tensed up again, and then I heard Loz shift and move away.
I could feel fingers in my hair, but on the other side. The digits wrapped around into a firmly held fist and stayed like that for a moment. Next thing I knew they yanked on my hair until the whole clump almost came out. Obviously, I cried out in surprise.
I tried to pull away, and in doing so, if I had to guess, I pressed a button. The button activated some sort of mechanism and then there was silence. Silence until I pressed the same button again of course. My ears picked up on the mechanism again and then it all went completely silent.
--
There was an hour or so of peace. The time allowed me to think a little. As usual, the thinking was useless. I kept on trying to make sense of everything and nothing came to me. I hated the feeling.
/VRRRR!!!/
I felt my phone go off in my pocket and was immediately confused. Why was my phone going off? As far as I knew, it had been destroyed and left in the back alley. The confusion wasn't good. All of this was making me feel drowsy. My body was still shaking uncontrollably. That wasn't helping my exhaustion at all.
Zack leaned down and whispered something in my ear. I sort of grunted to acknowledge him. But that was the full extent of it. Truthfully, I didn't understand what he said.
"Cloud, could you get your phone please?"
I understood him that time and I really didn't want to try and get my phone.
Reluctantly, I nodded and began the attempt to get my cell phone. It was a bit more difficult than I thought it would be at first. First my arm wouldn't cooperate, then I couldn't get my hand through my shirt to reach my front pocket, then because of my hunched over position I couldn't get my hand to grip the phone. To top it all off, once I got the phone, I couldn't quite get it out of my pocket! Once I finally had it, I thought about just tossing the damn thing. It'd gone off about four times already. I was actually surprised that the caller was still trying. I was curious as to who was trying to call me, but I wasn't so curious that I would try and answer it.
I weakly handed it back to him with a shaky hand. He took it from me, let it ring one more time, and then answered it. There was an exchange of words, Zack barely spoke and the other person sounded loud and angry.
After the conversation over the phone Zack returned the phone to my pocket. He downed the speed quite a bit and we rode in silence for a while. It was only interrupted by my needing to stop and vomit. It was a lot better than before though. There was hardly anything at all and I didn't feel as bad after. Zack seemed really worried about it all, as usual. But I was more worried about my rapidly changing body temperature. Of course the vomiting didn't help. But I think I was improving.
Soon after that I found myself staring into the eyes of the same maiden as before. Only this time, she wasn't tormenting me, she just smiled and took me in her arms. Finally, I could sleep.
--
"Think we should get closer, Cloud?"
"Eh!" I almost screamed because of the unexpected noise. I was almost disappointed. It felt as though I had been dreaming about something important. Something very important. It was almost like it was another me… but older. He just talked, but whatever he said was gone once I woke up.
"Sorry…" He said once he noticed he'd torn me out a sleep I'd been dying to have.
I shook it off and tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't get rid of all the talking in the background. And then the bike practically screeched to a halt. Admittedly, I was grouchy. This didn't usually happen, but I wanted to know what the man in my dream had said. I scraped every last accessible recess of my memory to remember something. But nothing came to me. I guess the best thing to do was forget about it for now. Maybe it would happen again. That was all I could hope for.
"Uh… Tifa. Could you take Cloud while I move this thing?" I heard Zack ask. When did Tifa show up and why did I have to go with her? I was trying to sleep. This was so annoying.
"Why can't I stay with you?" I murmured. I also made it perfectly clear that I didn't want to move from that spot. It was bratty, I know, but I really didn't feel like moving. Much less walking. I was too tired.
"C'mon Cloud. You need to get up." Zack said in the care free way of his. I was fine with that, but then he picked me up again and walked over towards some odd aircraft. I didn't like it this time. It felt too much like he was forcing me to do something I didn't want to. "You got him?" He asked Tifa as he handed me over. I rolled my eyes once he wasn't looking. The very last thing I wanted to do happened. She made me walk. I really wanted to just sit, but there'd be plenty of time for that once I got to wherever she would take me. So, knowing Zack was staring at my back, I walked as best I could.
Once we were inside I only focused on one thing, the fever that had replaced the chill and the shakes. Of all the things that could have come back… I guess I was glad it was that one. It didn't change how miserable I was, but I could live with that better than the puking. At least it didn't feel like it was going to come back. Of course I thought that before and had been proven wrong I think twice.
She led me through a long hallway with about twelve doors on the left side. Looking out the window, I could tell that this was one side of the ship. Once we passed around six doors, there was another hallway with more doors. She turned and kept on walking through that, but I didn't see which door we finally stopped at. I think it was the last one because of the light shining in the corner of my right eye. That must've been the windows on the other side of the ship.
She opened the door to reveal, oddly, a bedroom. I didn't think this thing was meant for passengers. The room was a complete, yet ordinary, room with a closet and a bathroom connecting to it. The walls were white and only one bed. She let me down to sit on the bed and walked into the bathroom. She returned shortly with new bandages. She removed the makeshift one on my upper arm that Loz put there, rolled up my sleeve all the way up to my shoulder, and replaced it with a real one. She then proceeded to take off the older bandage on the bite wound. It had still bled quite a bit after the last time. I must've agitated the injury. She didn't seem to care though. She cleaned it again with a wet cloth and then replaced the bandage.
"You look tired." She said feeling my forehead. "And you're burning up."
Yeah. And all of my energy was exiting through the sweat in my pores. Not to be sarcastic, but it was true. Once she took her hand from my forehead, I didn't even have the strength to hold it up anymore. For the next five minutes of awkward silence, I could do nothing but stare at the floor. Then I heard her rise and walk toward the door. Once she was gone, I still stayed where I was for a few moments more.
"Aw c'mon! You pathetic excuse for a soldier. Get a grip!" I told myself just trying to get my body to move. It sure worked whenever my superiors told me that, why wasn't it working now? "It's only a little flu. You can beat it. C'mon." I tried again. That did the trick. Finally I found a last reserve of energy that was just enough to get my boots off and scurry under the covers. "Yes!" I sighed. I was very satisfied with the bed and the comfort it provided. It was nice and warm under the covers, and the mattress was plenty soft. I wanted to sleep again, but I couldn't allow myself that just yet. Not that I didn't want to, but I was too curious and my thoughts were scrambled. It was just about everything that turned upside down. Too many things were shooting around for me to sleep, no matter how exhausted I was. I couldn't move from the spot I had put myself in. My limbs had shut themselves down. All I could do was lay there and attempt to organize my thoughts.
There was the matter of this hell my life had been launched into without my consent. It may be a test, it may not. I doubt my muscle-head superiors could come up with something like this. This must be something put together by the SOLDIERS, maybe even the Turks! No. They'd never test new cadets like this. Certainly not me. I was too much the greenhorn. This could not be a test. I'd finally figured that out. Now all I had to do was figure out what I could've done to anyone so powerful to make them do this. I couldn't remember. To some I came off as arrogant, but that was never anything to make anyone this angry. There also was the fact that I knew who and who not to pick fights with. If there was anyone like this that I upset in any way, I would've apologized. At least I think I would've.
That mystery is impossible to figure out.
So what about Zack? Friend or what? Well for one, I was going to stop doubting whether he was my friend or not. He was. It didn't make sense, but he was. I'd already decided that. But what was the other feeling I got when he was around? It was like I got all jittery and stupid. I actually acted like a freakin' damsel in distress! "No. Calm down." I had to tell myself that about ten times before I got it together. I mean, I only had today to go on. And today I was unarmed AND I was wounded. That was enough to justify my actions to a point. The fact that I didn't even try bothered me. It was like I wanted to be saved. To see just how many times he'd come to the rescue. I didn't want to say I was testing him or anything, but maybe I was… subconsciously of course! It had to be subconscious. I wasn't aware of it… if I was doing it. I didn't want to say I was, but I could be. What if I was just a horrible person like that? Then again, I did say earlier that all of these guys I've been going against were way out of my league. And with the Guard Hounds, I didn't know he was going to show up. And…... I WAS A USELESS GREENHORN!!!
That settled it. I couldn't expect to be able to fight a whole pack of monsters like that. It was too much for an upstart like me. I was also the worst soldier my superiors had ever seen.
"Okay. Stop dumping on yourself. There's time to change." I said trying to be optimistic. A quality of mine that few of my peers had seen. I didn't mind that. Almost all of my peers were blockheads with raging hormones. They were also so desperate that some with girlfriends turned to same sex relationships in order to get some. However that worked.
…… How did they do that?
Something told me I didn't want to know.
Did Zack do that?
Who cares?!
I wonder what it's like…
Stop doing that! Just stop thinking about that. Don't think like that. Don't even ask questions about stuff like that. Zack would think I was a freak. I guess there was a possibility that I could be gay. Maybe. I'd never been with a girl. I thought I liked Tifa back home, but I'd lost interest over the years. After that I didn't really like anyone. Girl or boy. Now all the sudden Zack's all I can really think about.
It couldn't be that! No. I wasn't gay. I wasn't anything at the moment.
"This is too confusing to even bother with." I sighed. "Zack's only a friend. That's all he'll ever be."
Now I just had to forget about that and never think about it again. But what I could try to focus on is that man from my dream.
He looked a lot like me. But he was older, stronger, taller, and so much cooler. Even his clothes were cooler than what I wore other than my uniform. Everything on him being black was kinda grim, but it still looked cool. That's really all I could remember, except the one thing that made it impossible to be me: His eyes had the same mako glow as Zack's eyes did.
I guess it could be an inner alter-ego. But I didn't have a history of anything like that. Where could it have come from?
"What did he say?" I wanted to know.
I scraped my mind again for an answer, but I turned up with nothing. Still, whatever he was saying, he looked worried.
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