(A/N) Okay. You heard "Kozue", Cloud's up next. That means Zack shall return! And soon too. Only this before that. And that after this. You get the point. You need to get through Cloud before you may once again unlock Zack's thoughts. Can you do it?
And so sorry, just warning you ahead of time… well… those of you that bother to read author's notes… I didn't pay enough attention last chapter and they ended up talking to each other way too much, so this chapter is kinda recapping and repetitive. So please don't point that out later on, I already know and I hate myself for it. But I can't change it without changing the entire last chapter with it. Not by much anyway. And… well… I really just wanna get to Zack. So I guess this chapter really is an obstacle to get by before you can reach Zack once again. Enjoy it either way.
--
"What am I gonna do?!" I asked. "What can I do?! Just look at this! This is insane! Look at this thing! It won't come off!" I sputtered trying to pull the belt free. Even if it just loosened a little. But there was nothing. "It won't even budge!" Why was this of all things happening?! "I can't even get the gloves off! Why does this thing actually have to work?! I can't even get the gloves off!" It was true. The fabric was almost sticking to my skin. Acting as though it were a part of it. I couldn't pull at it too much without hurting myself. I never believed it would be this effective! Who would?! "Things like this aren't supposed to work!" I could tell that I was starting to lose my breath, but my ranting just refused to stop. I couldn't help it. I was panicking! "Why did I leave?! I'm so stupid!" After a few minutes I didn't even pay attention. I could feel myself keep going and going; on and on until… my breath thinned out enough for me to force myself to stop and take in some oxygen.
"Hey kid, stop hyperventilating. That belt will come off eventually. Come over here and I'll cut it off you." I heard the latest of Kozue's suggestions.
"No!" Out of the question! I wasn't going to let someone attempt that! It was physically impossible… well… maybe. Physics wasn't my forte. But anyone with common sense would say no to an insane suggestion like that! Besides… "There's no space, you'd cut me!"
"Okay. But you're going to get into a lot of trouble if you keep on wearing that." He replied in such a way that screamed 'annoyed'.
"What am I supposed to do?!" I asked. More like, what did he want me to do? I wouldn't risk getting cut open to get this stupid thing off, but if he came up with a less risky suggestion… who knows? It was just that everything he was coming up with had the risk of injury.
"Cloud. Just… if you're going to shoot down every idea I pitch to you then please calm down a bit." Pfft! Easy for him to say. He wasn't in this predicament! "It's not the first time somebody's been stuck in clothes they don't like." True. But his words weren't helping much. It was probably just my mind playing tricks on me, but he sounded more patronizing than helpful. I didn't much like to be patronized. I'd let it go, because I was used to it, but I didn't like it.
"Other clothes didn't give people the impression that they were gay!" I sighed angrily. At the same time I turned around in a circle while watching the stupid ribbons trail behind me. I hated this.
It was then that I heard him snicker behind me. "That's the impression you're going to give no matter what you wear."
I stopped dead in my tracks. What was that supposed to mean? "Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Nothing, never mind; forget I said anything." He said slapping a hand to his forehead. I most certainly would not! He'd just said something. I wanted to know what. And it included me! I had a right to know.
"C'mon." I said, cautiously, tugging at his shirt. But no matter what I did he wouldn't say anything about it. I was getting fed up with this. He wasn't the only one who did this. And the thing of it was becoming an increasing habit. First Mr. Valentine, Zack, Herb, Alvar, and now Kozue! "I'm fourteen, not stupid. I can take whatever you have to say." At least I thought so. But he was ignoring me.
"Look… Cloud, if you can't understand what I just said then you aren't going to know." He sighed. He didn't have to say that. Comments like that always made me feel stupid. I was beginning to think… hey wait… his personality had made a significant change. What was with that?
"Kozue? How come you were nice to me at the Gold Saucer but now you hate me?" I asked. Forget what he had said before, I wanted to know why he'd suddenly taken on a great dislike of me.
"Do you really think that?" He laughed. "I don't hate you. You're not my choice of friend or even acquaintance, but I don't hate you… you're just a… a real handful." Was that supposed to make feel better? "I'll admit I'm easily agitated, but as long as you stay close and out of trouble I should be fine." This thing again? Stay close? I already knew that. That was my default. Cling to the person with me until I was sure it was safe to really, truly be alive. I hated this whole ordeal; being passed around all the time. On to the next person with new, and stricter, rules for me to follow in order to stay alive. Besides that.
"That doesn't answer my question." Not completely. "Were you pretending to be someone else? You did have different clothes and longer hair when I saw you before. So if that were true then why would you have a reason to hide your identity? … Unless you aren't who you say you are and have to hide your identity from the authorities." Something along those lines, definitely. But why? What reason would he have to hide himself from the world? Why would anyone give up the life they had to hide? I wanted to know. Maybe he could answer? Because that was where I was headed. And I didn't like it. I couldn't be certain. But I had a bad feeling that they'd make me change who I was once we got to our destination. I didn't want that. And even though it may just be a temporary thing, it was still a lot to ask. It'd be easy for them to demand it of me. But none of them would have to do it, would they?
"You realize how crazy that sounds, right?" He answered with a bit of a chuckle. "I am who I say I am. And my only intention is to get you back to your companions."
Is that so? "But the redhead said they were going to Mideel." I thought aloud.
"Your point?"
My point was that we were going in the complete opposite direction if that were the case. "Mideel is to the east, and we are going west… no… northwest." I said pointing in our current direction. Clearly there was something I wasn't getting.
"I know that, but your destination is Wutai and I'm supposed to get you to the closest village for them to pick you up. And that would be… North Corel." He said the last part faster than the rest of the sentence. Probably because he was lying. It was totally wrong. Why was I getting the feeling that I shouldn't trust him? I didn't like the feeling. Not one bit. Mostly because I didn't want to become one of those people who never trusted anyone. Although I kinda had. But it wasn't like I'd chosen to be that way. I was forced into it really. I mean, everywhere I turn there was another creep. A real depressing situation. But my situation. And one I was gonna have to deal with. Hopefully I'd be able to take care of myself when I got older. Otherwise I think I may be a shut-in. But anyway. "No it's not, Nibelheim is." I said to correct him. I wouldn't mind going home while we waited. But I wasn't completely sure I wanted to bring Kozue into my house only to have him be rude to my mother. He wasn't exactly the kind of acquaintance you introduced to your family.
"Oh well. The path to Nibelheim is closed off because of dragons. So the closest town is North Corel." There was something about the way he said it that just wouldn't let it sound true. He was lying to me. He was totally lying to me. I could feel it. He said it so quickly; it was like it bothered him to say it. There was no way that could be true. I mean, c'mon. Dragons? What a lame excuse. Since when did dragons decided to be nuisances and block paths?
"Dragons?" I asked. "They don't come down from the mountain unless something attracts them." They really only came down if they felt threatened. Some times the younger ones would get spooked during thunder storms and come. And then that would lead to the parents coming to get them and that caused problems. The one time it happened just made a big mess. Mostly because the village bubbas freaked out and started shooting, idiots. Either way, it hardly ever happened like that. So! "And I haven't heard of any disasters, or powerful threats."
"Yes well… I don't know much about it… but apparently two dragons got into a fight and knocked over some rocks. So it's actually rocks blocking the path. Didn't quite clarify that, sorry."
"Oh…" I sighed. That would certainly explain a lot. It didn't get rid of the feeling that I was being lied to, but… "Kozue? Are you coming?" I asked when I didn't hear any footsteps following behind me.
"Remember, stay close." He said hitting me, luckily, on my left arm. It would've hurt if he'd hit the right. The pain from the bite wasn't exactly making itself scarce lately. But I'd gotten over it. And by that I meant it wasn't as bad as when I was fighting those bastards at the stadium. Ever since I got separated from Zack and the others I'd been handled very roughly. It wasn't anybody's fault. They just didn't know that I had a throbbing dog bite on that arm and therefore didn't know to avoid the area. "You got lucky with those guys." He continued. As if I didn't already know that. I could've been killed. It was a good thing they decided to be idiots before they brought out their knives. Or whatever weaponry they had with them. "…But most people hanging around out here aren't very trustworthy." Again, I knew that. But whatever. He was just being cautious. Everyone was doing that lately. Acting as though I were made of glass. It was getting old. I mean, they were all acting as though I were one of those frail little children who broke their legs by tripping over dandelions!
"Huh?" I gasped under my breath when I felt a disturbance in the natural flow of conversation and company. I looked over to Kozue to see him staring at me the way Zack did. A look of clouded thoughts, focus, and his eyes slowly trailing up and down my body. "Are you okay?" I asked. It seemed to make him jump and then blink himself out of his trance. Good. I didn't like it when Zack did that. Well… I didn't think I did. Whenever I caught him doing it I felt dizzy and fizzlely in weird places. So why would I let someone I hardly knew do it? It wouldn't make sense.
"Actually…" He paused. "Could you do something for me?" That didn't sound good.
"Like what?" I asked suspiciously. I wasn't gonna partake in any odd requests he had up his sleeve. Not even any of those weird jokes that made no sense.
"Cloud… would you uh…" He stopped and thought again. All I could do was wonder what it could be. What was it that he wanted me to do? "Never mind." That was unexpected. I had to try and process it while staring blankly into space. That was certainly a new response. It was different. Very different. No one ever told me that. They always wanted something. It was a relieving response. However, not one I would accept. He made me curious… which may have been the plan.
"What?" I asked. "That's that second time you've done that to me in ten minutes!" Unacceptable! "Oh no! You're gonna tell me. C'mon." I urged.
"No. It's stupid." He answered trying to avoid my stare. But I wasn't going to let him do this. I kept staring intently and it seemed to be getting to him. Sure enough… "Cloud… would you… give me a… a hug?" Again I found myself in shock. That was a blunt answer. No one ever came straight out and asked for what they wanted. Man, Kozue was pretty… straightforward.
"What?!" Was the only thing that would come out.
"Please hug me?" He repeated. I didn't have a problem with it. But… it was just…
"Hug you? Why?" I didn't mean for it to sound to protesting. But I really did want to know why. That was the only thing holding me back from actually doing it. It was an odd thing to request. Normally, in my experience, if people wanted a hug they just did it. They didn't ask. Asking would make it awkward when it didn't have to be. Which is exactly what he'd accomplished.
"Forget about it and let's go!" I heard him call back. For some reason he'd walked off without me even though he'd bothered me so much to stay close. Why would you do that and then leave the person behind? I didn't understand this guy sometimes. Even though this was kinda funny. I still ran up to him as fast as I could.
--
I walked next to him in silence for several moments before following his example and spacing off into random thoughts. Like how stupid this outfit made me look and feel. I really couldn't get over it. Really! Out of all the outfits to get stuck in?! This one?! How did this thing even work? Since when had they discovered a belt that you couldn't just take off? Some things about today just didn't add up. Such as… the prison. Where did the prison built on Corel's ruins go? Last thing I knew maximum security prisons didn't just up and disappear. And if it did, where did all the inmates go? There wasn't even any sign of destruction around the area. Is it possible that I'd just missed it? That wouldn't make any sense. Truthfully, I hadn't seen it before, but one would expect something like they described it to be… well… big. At least big enough to spot a ways away. Of course I guess that wasn't the only weird thing going on lately. I mean, my phone… oh no. I felt around forgetting that I didn't exactly have pockets and felt greatly dismayed at the forgotten, but well known fact that I didn't have my cell phone. How was anyone supposed to find us? Did Kozue have a phone or even anybody's number. I didn't think so. I mean, I just met him. How could he have anybody's number? But if he didn't, how could they know where to find us? Did he even make a plan? Had I just stupidly fallen for an obvious trap and been kidnapped?! I gasped at the thought. Ridiculous as it was. But people thought strange things when they had to time to think about it. I looked over at him just to see if there was any change in his state of mind. There didn't appear to be. I wished he would stop thinking and talk. I felt better about being with him when he talked. "What are you thinking about so…?"
"Don't ask." Was the only thing I got from him. It didn't really help.
"You're kinda creepy when you don't talk." I murmured. There was no response. He'd just gone back to what he'd been doing before I interrupted him. "There you go again with the thinking and ignoring." I sighed. That seemed to get his attention. Good. Now I just had to try not to pester him and hopefully he wouldn't go back into one of his frequent trances. "You could change the subject if you don't want to talk about it." I said encouragingly. There had to be something he could allow himself to talk about.
"There's nothing else to talk about…" He answered trailing off to think again. Well that was discouraging. I felt as though I'd just been shrugged off. Perhaps he didn't want me here? Well, kidnapper or not, I wasn't going to go off all by myself. I had virtually no way to defend myself against monsters. And they got pretty big out here. It was insane. Be that as it may, it still hurt my feelings to be treated like an annoyance. "… Unless you had something to talk about?" I heard him ask. Whoa. Did he feel bad about snapping at me or was it something else?
"Well…" I tried to come up with something. But what would a person say to someone like Kozue? What did he normally talk about would be the place to start. Hmm… well… uh… he didn't talk about much. He mostly thought to himself. But I couldn't ask him what he was thinking about. He'd already told me not to and I got the feeling he'd get mad if I did anyway. I tried my darnedest to think of something. I felt as though I had a time limit here. Kozue didn't prove to be very patient. I looked deep, perhaps too deep, because suddenly and image of Zack appeared and my heart did a flip. "How do you know if you like someone?" I blurted out not thinking. That was something really stupid to ask. But… it was too late. I felt the burning embarrassment beginning to rise up, but…
"You're asking me for advice?" He asked. He didn't say it with a mocking voice surprisingly enough. I'd half-expected him to laugh. But he didn't. Man, he was hard to read!
"Uh…" Advice? Maybe that was it. Perhaps I could use some advice on this, because I had no idea what my mind was trying to say when it came to Zack. "… well yes. You're older." I answered. He had to have more experience with things like this. That's the way it usually went. Older people knew what to say and what to look for. They tended to know what certain things meant and the signs for things. They just all out tended to know more. And at this point I didn't care where the advice came from, I figured I needed it. Besides, it was already said. There was no point in denying it now.
"Do you rather enjoy their company?" He asked. What did that mean? Did I enjoy his company? I didn't know what I thought of him. That's why I was asking. I wanted to know what I thought of him. Maybe then I could better decide for myself what I wanted to do. Did I want to avoid anything stupid, or…? Of course it would be easier for me to react more openly if I knew how he felt.
"Hm…." I guess I didn't despise being around him. I just couldn't tell whether he annoyed me or what it was. He made me feel something odd though. "Yes?"
"Are you certain?" He asked. Yes. I was sure he wasn't a horrible person to spend an extended period of time with, so I nodded. "Do you know what I'm talking about?" If he meant, did I know what he was getting at? No. "Okay…" He sighed. I suppose I was being a bit difficult. But I really didn't know… and I wanted to. So… I dunno. "Do you get butterflies?" Butterflies? I could tell I raised a brow. Really. What did butterflies have anything to do with it? No one had ever told me about that before. I didn't think anyone said anything like that before. I mean, some of the other cadets talked a lot about shafts and… rims? I dunno. "Do you get a funny, perhaps fluttery, feeling in your core?" Yeah! That was it! But I didn't really want him to pin me as something that wasn't true. So…
"What if I said 'kinda'?" I asked putting emphasis on the word kinda.
"I'd say you're lying." I heard him say as he turned to look right at me. My eyes widened a little as I couldn't help but feel like a deer in the headlights. "But whatever. I'm no judge." He laughed. Why was he laughing? This wasn't something to laugh about. At least he made it seem like I shouldn't be embarrassed about it. "My point is, it doesn't matter who it is, go for it." What did he mean by that? "No one can help who they fall in love with."
What?! "Love? I'm not in love." Am I? I couldn't be. That was absurd. Me? In love with… Zack? That's impossible. We were both guys. That didn't happen.
"Whatever you say, kid." Kozue sighed. What? No! I didn't want him to just dismiss it. Explain this to me better! I still had no idea what he was trying to say! Spell it out for me! Is it okay for two guys to like each other in that way? Did Zack like me?! Oh man. This did nothing for me. I had to know how Zack felt. C'mon Kozue! Tell me what to do. He didn't tell me anything useful. It was all cryptic crap! He was weird! Wait… wait a second.
"Hey… Kozue? To change the subject, why did you tie me to the post earlier?" That wasn't something people normally did. And all in all, it was just plain unnecessary.
"What? Uh…" What? He didn't even know? Is that what he was trying to get across. "I didn't want any hassles…" He went on to say something else, but I didn't pay attention to it. I only heard the word hassle. That wasn't a very flattering thing to say to someone. That was just plain rude.
"What?" I asked. He stopped and paid attention with a bit of confusion in his eyes. "You tied me up because I was a hassle?!" I asked. That was outrageous!
"No." Was the instant reply. "That's not what I said." It sounded like it. "Granted, it sounded like that, but it's not what I meant." Well then what did he mean? Crap. I made him mad. Why was this happening? It was like I couldn't do anything right around this guy. This would be one of those moments where I wished life had a rewind option. But it didn't. Oh wait. He was still looking at me. Dammit! I didn't hear a word he just said. Now he was gonna get pissed. I knew it. "I told you this before. You need to stay close or you might get hurt." He said as hopefully a reiteration. Okay. That was it. That I could understand. It still didn't justify tying me to a freakin' post! But it was something.
"Oh…" I said to make him think I understood it completely. I didn't really feel like getting yelled at. "… yeah…" Getting Kozue angry, not a good thing. What was I supposed to do to avoid that? It was like my very being annoyed him. He said he was easily agitated. Did that mean I was that much of an agitating person? Who else did I annoy? Everybody? Oh Gaia no! I was annoying wasn't I?! Was that why I got picked on? Because I was an annoying little crybaby? If you put it that way… I would annoy me! Holy crap! That made me a hypocrite! I hated hypocrisy too! No! That must've been why nobody liked me. Was that why somebody wanted me dead?! No, no. It couldn't be that. People didn't just kill others for being annoying. Then again… I'd heard stories. But…
"Cloud, don't move." Kozue said stopping dead in his tracks.
"What is it?" I asked stopping in mine. All I got was a 'shush'. Of course. After that he went back to thinking. That was all he did. So it was safe to assume that it was going to get really quiet, real fast.
--
With my assumptions completely correct I was struck by the feeling of déjà vu. I had no idea why, I'd only glanced at Kozue and it went off. That didn't make any sense. Since when did someone get that déjà vu feeling by glancing at someone out of the corner of their eye? It certainly wasn't something I'd experienced before. But no matter how much I told myself it was nothing, it wouldn't go away. It was like a mosquito… almost. It was annoying in the fact that I couldn't remember where I'd seen him. It was as though he were a memory from a fraction of a second. There was no way I was gonna remember something like that! Was it possible in the slightest? Gyah! Why couldn't I just dismiss it?! I wasn't supposed to obsess over things like this. But that didn't stop it from bothering the hell out of me. "Where have I seen him before?" I asked myself under my breath. But I caught a twitch from Kozue; that meant he was listening and there was some significance to him. Okay… if he was going to listen in while I was talking to myself I would just talk to him. "Where have I seen you before?"
"You already pointed it out. I was the man at the gate." He answered a little too casually. There wasn't even any, 'What are you talking about?', he just… said it as though it were nothing. "Don't you remember?" He went on to say. That was a bit too calm. There was nothing in his tone to make him sound offended.
But no… that wasn't it. "It's more than that." I huffed. It was so much more than that! "It's everything about you too." Absolutely everything. "The hair, your eyes, those clothes on you, your voice, everything!" Nothing had ever affected my mind in such a way before. He wasn't just some stranger. He was someone who had something to hide. I could feel it. He was lying to me. And I could understand it, but I didn't want him to just lie like this. It wasn't as though I was going to judge him or anything. There was just no way he could be a random person. He had too many tells. "Even the way you walk. You don't walk like just anybody." He carried himself in a very dignified manner. He looked as though he were out of SOLDIER. They all had a certain air about them, even Zack. It was an atmosphere that was almost prideful and yet… "And your posture is out of the norm." His stood very straight and with his shoulders thrown back. "You look like you were in the army or something!" That was the only conclusion I could come to. Even if he wasn't a SOLDIER, he had to be in the army. Or a veteran of some sort. "So where have I seen you before?!" I asked almost demanding an answer.
"Don't think on it too much." Was the blunt reply. Why? Why was he so opposed to telling me? I wasn't going to condemn him for something he'd done. I wasn't like that. Of course he couldn't know that. But I… why didn't he trust me? Why didn't anyone trust me with anything? Ugh! I wasn't going to get any help from Kozue in discovering his identity. I really should've just forgotten about it, but I couldn't. It especially bothered me when I heard him laughing under his breath. Was he mocking me?
"What are you snickering about? Just be honest with me." And while you're at it, "Who are you?"
Once I asked that question again his mood went back to an unnatural sort of calm. "I am being honest." How could he keep a straight face for so long? This whole time and he never even made one mistake. I'd never encountered anyone who could lie so full heartedly for extended periods of time. Why would someone want to lie for that long? He must've had something big to hide. That only intensified my sense of curiosity. "I've already told you that." He sighed. That really meant that he was getting tired of this. I was getting under his skin apparently.
"You could've been lying." I pressed. I wasn't usually the type to pry into someone's business like this, but I'd never had a slight sense of knowing before. However, I didn't want to come full out and tell him he was lying. Telling someone they were doing something wasn't the greatest thing to do. In fact, it was a good way to annoy people. So I only hinted that I knew. I figured that would be okay, right?
"What reason do I have to lie?" He asked. Well how was I supposed to know that unless he told me? I didn't know what reason there was to lie the way he was. All I knew was that he was lying. "But if you want honesty… I'm honestly offended by these accusations you keep on making."
Oh… that was really… confusing. Was he lying still or was he really offended? No. No, he had to be lying. If he were really offended then that would mean he wasn't lying the entire time. And I knew he was lying. So he wasn't offended. He was annoyed. Should I… apologize? I didn't think it would matter. Why did he get so angry? I didn't see any reason for him to get angry. Or was he just making fun of me? Geez! I couldn't understand this. It was giving me a headache. Which was especially bad because it was reminding me of the bump on my head… which throbbed whenever I thought of it. It was mostly in my head, but the pain was all the same. The feeling was almost electric. Like a bit of a zap that came from the bruise on my forehead and shot down my entire body to practically make me twitch every time.
"That aside." I heard him say in somewhat of a lighter tone. "How's that bump on your head?" Huh? How did he…?
"Better than it was." I replied still in thought. I wasn't sure he really cared anyway. If it were Zack asking, I'd be more inclined to believe the questions sincerity. I just couldn't tell if Kozue was really a friend or not. He didn't act much like one. But… I'd just rather have Zack around at times like this. He was more understanding and… he didn't like to lie to me. I could tell he was, but I knew he didn't like to. The way he acted when he lied gave him away. He always came down so hard on himself when he lied; he treated it as though he were doing something terrible. It wasn't that bad when he did it. When he lied I had no idea what he was talking about. So it wasn't annoying at all. It was okay for him to lie I guess. He didn't do it often. But Kozue was lying all the time. It was like everything he said was a lie. Of course if you're living in the guise of another that was often the case. My thoughts were interrupted when I had to hold back a hiss from a sudden throbbing on my forehead. It was so weird. There was no pain for a while but now it was back… I had to guess I was thinking about it too much.
"Are you alright?" He asked. He must've seen me wince or something. I tried to ignore him but he kept looking at me and then the throbbing came back causing me to take somewhat of a deep breath. I wanted to say something, but at the same time I wouldn't. I didn't want him to look at it or do anything to take care of it. I didn't want anyone to look at it. I could take care of it and I was going to.
"It's nothing you have to worry about." I said quickly and unsurely. I wasn't going to take care of it right now, if I did he'd be tempted to help me and I didn't want that. But at the same time I knew I was gonna do that so the bruise complained rather loudly by sending another wave down my body. But I wasn't going to give in to it. I could handle this. It was only a quick shock every now and then. There wasn't even any dull pain accompanying it. The combination of those was what made things unbearable.
"Do you want me to replace your bandage then?" I heard him laugh.
What?! No. That's exactly what I didn't want him to do. I didn't want him to touch it. The action would just be something for him to use to win me over, I wasn't gonna fall for it. This guy was beginning to look sketchy. I was really beginning to think I couldn't trust him, but… given the circumstances… No! "I can do it myself when I need to." I told him. I was kinda offended by him thinking I couldn't even do that by myself. But maybe I should just… No! I didn't need someone taking care of me my whole life!
"Alright."
Damn right! Hey wait… what was that noise? I looked around quickly to see something, anything. But there was nothing. It was like an odd chirp noise. It sounded really familiar whatever it was. It had to be something alive. I could pick up faint little snaps of branches somewhere. "Did you hear something?" I asked. He didn't even acknowledge whether he'd heard me or not. "Hey! You aren't even listening!" I growled. Why did everybody do that?!
"What?" He asked hazily looking over at me. "What were you saying?"
"I asked if you heard something. Apparently not." I sighed. Nobody listened. When it was at the most crucial of moments everyone was off in lala land! "Geez. Doesn't anybody listen to me?" I asked aloud while rolling my eyes. Hopefully if I went out of my usual character and made my annoyance clear so he'd, at the very least, stop doing that. We both listened and the same series of noises happened once again. "That." I said bluntly. "Did you hear it that time?"
"Shh." Was his only response. Of course.
He went on to creep closer to the shrub and the thing hiding behind it. I had to wait there and be careful not to get an evil spell put on me or some other such nonsense that happens to damsels in distress. Oh I guess I had to be careful not to prick my finger on a spindle. Hey! While I'm at it, I should avoid eating apples as well. Wouldn't want to go into a death like sleep or whatever else crap happened to maidens. Of course these damn clothes weren't helping me in convincing others that I could take care of myself! I couldn't do anything I guess. Not even check and see what was behind a freakin' bush! Wouldn't want to risk it being the big bad wolf! So I grudgingly went over and leaned against a big boulder. Huffing the entire time about nonsense I didn't even pay attention to. It was just completely ridiculous the way I was being treated. "Wha-?!" I gasped slipping off the boulder and falling flat on my back. What was that?! I couldn't even keep my balance anymore?! Oh great! At this rate I was gonna fall and break my ankle!
Wait… I didn't slip because I had bad balance. I slipped because that boulder… w-wasn't a… a boulder. It wasn't a boulder at all. It was a monster. A big monster! I scrambled to my feet as fast as I could before it decided to turn around.
I could feel my lower jaw just shaking and trembling as I tried to form words. I had to warn Kozue. He seemed to be oblivious to the fact that there was a gigantic monster right behind him. There were tremors running through my legs as I took slow steps backwards. My whole body was shaking. I stifled a shriek when I felt my back come in contact with something. I was so flustered I couldn't even remember where I was. I thought I'd run into a stranger, not Kozue. I didn't know what was going on. I was ready to bolt when… "Cloud." Okay. That was a familiar voice. It was Kozue. Okay. Okay. Reality was coming back. "What could possibly be…" I gazed up at him really quickly. He seemed lost for words for all of a second. "A Grand Horn?!" He shouted. "Where did that come from?!" He asked. I just kept on staring at him. I could tell my eyes were blank. I felt as though my soul had all but left me. I could tell what was going on, but I still wasn't there. I couldn't move or speak. That in itself was terrifying. "Wait. That was the-" He cut himself off to scream, "Look out!" Before pushing me out of the way. The fall seemed to wake me up and I got up on all fours to see if he was hurt. He didn't look it. His clothes didn't even look messed up in any way... well… Se for the small tear in his jacket. But he just looked at me to see if I was hurt I guess. There it was again. He was injured, but he was thinking of me before himself. Normal people weren't usually that noble. "Get in the underbrush." He ordered. His commanding voice even sounded familiar. But this wasn't the time for that.
I was a little concerned with what was in the bushes. He hadn't figured out what it was before I'd caused this to happen. "But what about the…" I asked.
"Don't argue! You're unarmed, just do it!" He yelled back. Once he turned away I had the time to notice that I was staring off into space. It was shocking. I'd thought I'd heard him angry before but… I hadn't. But, then again, he wasn't angry, he was pissed. Pardon my language, but he was. His tone went beyond anger. I didn't like it. But who did? I just nodded even though he didn't see me do it and ran into the bushes. A task that wasn't so easy to accomplish. My jacket got caught on the branches and the ribbon things trailing behind me wrapped themselves around various twigs. It was a real pain. I got so mad about it that once I got my jacket unstuck I just pulled the ribbons until they gave way. I had hoped they would tear apart, but they just slipped off the twigs. Dammit! Why won't this stupid thing come apart. At least let the stupid ribbons come off! This was getting so frustrating I just wanted to…
"Kweh?"
What was that? It was that noise again, but it was louder. Where had I heard it before? I'd heard it recently but much louder than that. I… oh! Hey! It was a chocobo! That was all. Wow. Now all I had to do was find it. But, from my standing point, I couldn't see it. I got down on all fours to make myself less intimidating, if that were necessary. Personally, I didn't think it was. C'mon, me? Threatening? As if! But… if the thing was young, like it sounded, then even my height might be a little scary. So I crawled around on the ground for a while looking under various things and finding nothing. In the end I had to crawl into a separate little clearing to have any hope of finding it. I had to guess it panicked when it heard me rustling through the leaves because it started to make a squawking noise. The sound seemed to come from all around, so I tried sitting up to listen more carefully for the source. But as soon as I did, a tremor came from close by. It was like an earthquake or something, but it was really fast, perhaps tremor wasn't the best word. It was more like a shudder. Either way, it caused me to lose my balance and fall forward so that my hands were sprawled out in front of me and the right side of my face scraped against the dirt. It didn't really hurt, but the shock of the blast caused my heart to stutter or something. I could feel something of an ache in my chest and for a while and all I could do was lay there and breathe. It was weird. I began to feel as though I could get up, but my limbs wouldn't move. They felt weighted down by an invisible force of some sort. Then I felt a dizzy sensation coming on. This was weird. I felt fine, but it appeared that the effects of the shaking had begun to catch up with me…
--
"Kweh…?" Came the sound from before.
I slowly opened my eyes to see a pair of clawed feet standing in front of me. They were small. Very small. Not exactly tiny, but small. The chocobo must've been a young one. I blinked a few times to get myself to focus and try to figure out how long it'd been. It couldn't have been that long, Kozue wasn't there. And I was pretty sure he would've woken me up instead of the bird. I had to say, I preferred this. The chocobo didn't have the ability to insult me for one, and for some reason these birds always took a liking to me. It was weird. I didn't understand this at all. And I didn't think I ever would. So I guess it didn't matter.
The bird skipped away as I started to get up. That wasn't good. I had to get him out of here. I mean, I didn't know much about chocobos, but I knew yellow ones were the only ones out in the wild. I could guess from the green feathers on this one that it had to be a domestic bird. He wouldn't survive out here. At least… I thought it was a he. How do you check with chocobos? Or any bird for that matter? I knew how to tell with chickens. But that was easy. Everything else was coloration or size or something. I had no idea. All I knew was that this bird wasn't supposed to be in the wild and that was good enough for me. Besides… didn't Herb and Alvar say that Zaneth lost her chick?
I got up on my knees slowly whilst making clicking noises with my tongue off the roof of my mouth. I didn't know if it would work, it did for cats, but birds? The chick showed no sign of panic. So I guess it must've been working. I was able to get close enough to kneel over him and let him sniff if he wanted to. He didn't seem to want to. But he got closer and brushed his head up against my boot. "Hey…" I whispered getting enough courage to try and pet him. It looked like he would've let me but then something came crashing through the brush and grabbed me. As I was being pulled upward I impulsively picked up the bird without really noticing.
I looked up to see Kozue, well that was relief. But I was a bit confused to see him behaving this way. For one, he was cradling me. I couldn't understand why. Didn't he kill the monster? Or had he failed to do so? That would've explained it. I mean, not only was he in such a hurry that he was carrying me, but he was sweating. Kozue didn't seem like the sweating type. He was the type to keep his cool, wasn't he? He was panicking, the poor bird was panicking, and I started to panic when I heard thundering steps behind us. My first thought was for Kozue to go faster. I did my best to keep my mouth shut; I knew I would only yell at him to go faster, that really wouldn't help at all. If anything, it would startle him and he'd trip and then both of us would be dead. That wouldn't do us any good. I guess I could try and get the bird to calm down. But how did I do that? I was at a real disadvantage here. And that was bad enough but then I felt a huge crash behind us, right behind us. It felt as though it made Kozue jump, but then he stayed in the air. How was that even possible? I clutched the bird close when I felt a lurch in Kozue's movement. I stared at black feathers drifting down as a great black wing extended from his left shoulder.
Black feathers? Wait! That made him look just like…! He did, he looked like the silhouetted figure I saw when I was let out of that box! Wait, what?! That was him?! Oh Gaia, why? That was so embarrassing! There was the possibility that it wasn't Kozue, right? He didn't look exactly like the silhouette, but that was because he'd cut his hair. When I'd seen him at the gate he looked just like the figure I'd seen when that happened. Wait a second!
We were flying! Flying!!! "Ahh! Gaia, what's going on?!"
He tried to say something probably to get me to calm down, but I didn't hear a word he said. I was too busy trying not to pass out and drop the poor fluttering bird. It was hard enough to focus, but now he was flapping around frantically in my arms. "Just close your eyes." I heard him say in a stern but unsure voice. Close my eyes?
"How is that supposed to help?!" I shouted in a panic. If I closed my eyes then I wouldn't be able to tell what was going on. That would be no good. That was the equivalent of wearing the blindfold like before! Then I wouldn't be able to tell where he was flying to. I didn't like being in the dark on things like this. It was too much like a surprise. And after a couple weeks at the barracks, I didn't like surprises.
"Just try it. It's supposed to help." He said with as little emotion as he could. I figured I'd better just do it. Even though I was having doubts on whether or not I could even trust him. "If you puke on me, you're in trouble." He said quickly as though he'd just thought of it. What sort of trouble? I didn't really want to think about it. Not that I had the time to. Because my mind, along with the rest of my internal organs, were left behind to catch up once he pressed forward through some turbulence.
--
Time went by and I didn't even care enough to even guess as to how long we'd been flying. My eyes were closed, and I had to guess it counted for something, but I could still tell that we were flying. It wasn't very pleasant. It gave me a very uneasy feeling. A feeling of insecurity. It was like I didn't know whether I wanted to open my eyes or not. I wanted too be able to see where we were going, but I didn't want to open my eyes because I knew it would scare me. Either way it was scary. It was just plain scary! And then, on top of that, I was feeling a really strong headache. That meant I was coming to close to puking. I didn't want to find out what Kozue would do if I did; so… "Kozue…" I said trying to look in his direction while also trying to keep my eyes closed. "I'm getting a really bad headache." I didn't expect him to know what that meant. But I had to get his attention somehow. He responded as expected and I tried to think of a way to make this sound better than making the statement blunt and straightforward, but I came up with nothing. "Kozue, if I don't get down now I'm going to throw up."
He actually reacted a bit quicker than expected. His decent was way too fast for me to be comfortable. And he didn't land very softly either. His feet thudded on the ground and his knees bent, it really sounded like it was painful. Then I swore I felt his arms start to give way, but he stopped himself. "Wait." He murmured. He then went on to space out for several minutes. He didn't seem to notice that the bird was either going to puke or take a dump.
Oh, for the love of the planet! "Let me down already." I grunted.
"Are you going to throw up?" He asked. What? No, this was a rare occasion when my motion sickness didn't assert itself.
"No. It's not me. It's him." I answered back. He took one look at the bird and set me down a little too roughly for my liking. But whatever, I let the bird down so that he… at least I had convinced myself it was a he… well, he had to take care of some business I guess. He definitely took off fast enough. Hopefully he'd come back… or at least not go too far. I'd have to come up with a name for him. Just for the sake of calling him something as long as he was with us. Well… let's see… his parents were potentially called Zaneth and Rikash… so… a good name for him would be…? As I thought, an image of a smiling, winking, black haired SOLDIER popped into my head. "Zack?" I said aloud. But I quickly shook the thoughts of him out of my mind so I could focus. It didn't really work though. He kept on invading my thoughts whenever I tried to focus on thinking of a name. "Why is this happening?" I gasped looking to see whether Kozue was paying attention or not. And upon seeing that he wasn't I sighed with relief. Okay, there was no potential of embarrassment; I just had to really focus. That was possible. At least I thought it was until my thoughts rounded back to Zack. Dammit!
Wait a minute… the first time I'd really seen Zack it was night. Not exactly the best memory, I really didn't like what those jerks did… or tried to do… I had no idea, but I remembered it was because I'd lagged behind the others during curfew. And that was only because I was looking out the window trying to see some stars past the smog clouds. It had been the first time I was able to catch a glimpse of any stars since I'd arrived. It was a small little slither cut through the pollutants, but I could tell what it was. There were three stars lined up so closely that it could only be Orion's belt. Orion huh…? That was a nice name. And it seemed to fit with the other names people gave chocobos. So… I guessed I'd be calling him Orion. Fine by me. "Geez." That was harder than I'd thought it was gonna be. "Why are you so worried about me puking?" I asked just out of curiosity and to turn my thoughts away from Zack.
"Because of your motion sickness and such."
What? "How do you know about that?" I asked. I knew I'd given a hint to it, but that was more altitude sickness than motion sickness. Besides, he knew there was a potential of me puking before I even said that.
He turned his vision to the upper left so that he couldn't see me. "Uhh…" Was all that could come out of his mouth.
"I didn't tell you about the motion sickness." I said just to see if he would slip up even more. "You sure you're being completely honest with me? Because right about now I get the feeling I've been lied to." Of course I'd had that feeling for a while now, but I'd made my feelings about it discreet. This wasn't enough to prove that he'd been lying the whole time, but there were other things about him that added to it. Besides, this was certainly enough to prove that he wasn't being completely honest.
"No. That's not it. I…" Nuh-uh. He wasn't able to talk his way out of this one. "I did lie…" Ah! So the truth comes out! Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. "But not to deceive you." Never mind. That was just plain pathetic.
"How is that not deception?!" I asked. This was really annoying. He even tried to lie when he'd been caught. "You lied to me, and than you lied about lying!" That was just awful! Who would bother to do something like that?! It wasn't like anyone was gonna kill him for telling the truth or anything! Gaia, this guy was weird!
"Stop! Stop! Stop! It's not nearly as bad as you think." Not as bad as I think?! Maybe not, but I wouldn't be reacting so strongly if he'd just stop lying to me! "I only did it because I didn't want you to-"
"Well if you didn't want me to freak out you shouldn't have flown with that wing of yours." I folded my arms and huffed. That only proved my suspicions that he wasn't who he said he was. I wasn't stupid, I could connect the dots. "The black feathers are kinda a dead give away, Kozue." He seemed to stop dead in his tracks with that statement. I guess I'd hit him over the head with that comment. I guess I could stop barraging him now and let it go. If he would admit to who he was. "So you were the one in the ship? The one who let me out of the uh… predicament… I'd stupidly put myself in?" I asked staring at the ground. I had to remind myself to put that one in the file of 'Really Bad Memories'.
"Yeah. And quite a bit more." He said with a bit of a smirk.
"That was a bit unnecessary don't you think?" I groaned. I mean, really? What was that supposed to mean? Did he want payment? I had nothing to offer.
He looked around and scratched the back of his head. Undoubtedly it'd become awkward. And beyond that just plain weird. I'd never thought I'd see him act this way. "Hey, what happened to your bird?"
I blinked a couple times and checked around. "Orion?" I said moving forward to check in some brush. But I couldn't find him anywhere. Dang, he was good at blending in.
"You named it?!" I heard him ask from behind.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"When did you do that?!" He shouted. Geez. And he accused me of overreacting.
"I had to do something while we were in the air. What did you expect me to think about?" I said trying to cover up that the only thing I was thinking about while he was flying around was how terrifying it was. And I believed I thought briefly about Zack. I dunno. I couldn't remember.
"Whatever." He sighed. Good. So he wasn't going to be annoying. "That's really cute." No… wait. Now he was sounding sarcastic. "Now just forget him and come on. He's safe here anyway." Oh, nope! Never mind! He was going to do this. He stepped forward and I stepped back. There was no way I was gonna just let him drag me away from this. Not this time. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I'd left the poor bird out here alone to inevitably die. "Cloud, c'mon." He said sounding urgent.
"I'm not leaving Orion all by himself." I answered. I knew he wanted to move on, and I knew that if we didn't there was a potential of danger. But I wasn't going to budge until he agreed. Hopefully he'd cave soon. Because I knew I wasn't. So if he was serious about keeping me out of danger, he'd have to give in quickly, otherwise we were both dead.
"What do you care…?" I heard him ask. "He's not even yours." That may be true, but it didn't change a thing. He also wasn't going to intimidate me out of this. "For one reason or another, you're not taking this whole 'endangerment of you life' thing seriously." Oh really? That's what he thought?
"I'm aware of the situation, Kozue." In fact I seemed to be more wary of the situation than he was at the moment. But that was just from my point of view. I just wanted to get moving with Orion. But he was too determined to leave him behind and that was holding us up more than he suspected the bird would. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not leaving him behind." I growled. But then I decided to explain it rather than just assert my opinion. "I think I know who he belongs to. Even though I didn't expect to find him. When they said they'd 'lost' the baby, I'd assumed it was dead. But they did say it was a green chocobo. So, I think that this bird belongs to Herb and Alvar. That would explain why it was so close to where they had been camping."
He then mumbled something presumably to himself and closed his eyes. "We don't have time for you to bring a pet along. We are being tracked down! Do you really understand the severity of this situation?!"
Oh Gaia! Yes! "I know! I really do! But it doesn't change anything! He's not a wild animal. He's been raised domestically up until now. So I can't just leave him here!"
That seemed to rile him up quite a bit. He folded his arms and glared at me. I just did the same thing. It wasn't like that was going to work anyway. "We're not taking it."
That wasn't gonna work. I wasn't going to be bullied into leaving a poor, defenseless animal to die. It just didn't work that way. "We are." I answered back. It should've been obvious by now that I wasn't going to give in to this. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be budging either. Crap… now I wasn't as sure of myself. I wasn't going to leave the bird behind, but I wasn't so sure how… he was too good at this. There was something about his eyes that made him get in your head and mess with you. It was weird. He could be really intimidating I guess. That wasn't good. How was I supposed to intimidate him like this? I was too wimpy.
"Why are you being so difficult?!" He asked angrily. "It's just a bird!"
"So what?!" I said, snapping back. "Bird or not, he's a living thing that needs our help! What if it were a person? Would it be any different?!"
"Yeah!"
"Why?!" I asked. "Why do you have to treat him as a lesser being?! … Just because he's different from you…?" I trailed off during that last part because that was more about me than the bird. He didn't respond to that. Probably because he caught on. I could tell that I'd come dangerously close to tearing up over it. I could feel it; my eyes were burning and wet. I dried my eyes with my sleeve and heard the chitter of Orion from behind. He'd come back from wherever he went and seemed happy. I gave the little bird a twitch of a smile before turning back to Kozue. His eyes were hazed as though he were thinking about something. "Kozue, please?" He looked up, but didn't say anything. "Just until I can get him back to his owners?" There was still nothing. I approached him, but he didn't move. "Kozue?" I asked. "Are you alright?"
"I just don't see how we can take him…" He murmured.
"C'mon Kozue." I said remembering a request of his from earlier. "Please?" I repeated jumping up and wrapping my arms around his waist. I hugged him and I wasn't ashamed of it. He looked like he really needed one. I had to guess he wasn't expecting it because his face went red as soon as he'd realized what I'd done. "It won't be for long, can't we take him along?" I asked once more. This time he nodded silently and a bit absent mindedly. "Thank you." I said; hugging him tightly before letting go.
This was good. I suppose he could be reasoned with after all. No matter how weird the compromises were…
--
"Is this some sort of coping mechanism?" I heard Kozue ask after several moments of walking in silence. If he'd said something earlier I wouldn't have heard it. It was really rude, but I wasn't exactly paying attention to him. I had been too busy keeping Orion entertained. He certainly was a lovely, well tempered little beast. One had to wonder just how long he'd been around people. He was, admittedly, a bit shaky at first, but he warmed up to people after five minutes or so. That was pretty good for an animal. Usually it took them longer than that. Not to mention they were usually violent. He wasn't in the least. It was probably just his size, but he was much more likable than the bigger ones. Even though they tended to be sweet creatures, no matter what the size.
"What?" I asked. The question wasn't exactly very clear. And by that I meant, what was a coping mechanism? He didn't really specify.
"Kweh…?" Orion chimed in. That did nothing but make me laugh to myself. It almost sounded like he was mimicking me.
"The way you act as though nothing's happening. Is it some sort of coping mechanism?" Kozue answered. And at the same time he completely killed my mood. What was with all of this? Payback? One would think that was a bit immature for someone like Kozue. But then again… this wouldn't be the first time that he'd surprised me by doing the unexpected. Either way. Point taken. I didn't like it. Because whenever he brought it up he made me think about it; and then I'd have to spend time trying to get my mind off the grim topic. But whenever I succeeded, he brought it up again.
"Not this again?" I groaned while rolling my eyes. "I'm not pretending nothing's happening…" Not really. I wanted to, but I knew I'd never be able to do such a thing full heartedly. He then went on to say something about me not getting it and being safe when there's no need to be. Basically, not living. I wasn't gonna do that. What would be the point? "I know. But… I don't want this to completely take over my life, Kozue." That'd be just stupid. "Freaking out and being irrational isn't going to do anything to help." In fact, it'd get us both killed if it did anything at all. "I need to distract myself, because I know that's exactly what I'll do. So, if you must know, yes. It is a way of coping. Okay? Just drop it." I growled. Geez!
"Okay. That's all I needed to know." He said quickly. Well good because that was really annoying. "But the bird?"
My eyes widened at that comment. "Kozue." I said not even looking at him. I made sure that the tone of my voice expressed how annoyed I was. That seemed to shut him up. He looked forward and I turned back to focus on Orion, but then he spoke again.
"We're almost to safety, if you care."
Wow… that sentence sounded a little… petty. "I do, even though the safety provided is in a very hazardous place. It's still a place, right?" I mean, why wouldn't I care? A town meant shelter, and shelter meant that there was a place to rest. Not to mention Kozue would probably leave me somewhere and go off by himself. It wasn't that I wanted him to go away or anything, it's just… he was kinda a buzz kill. I faded out a little on what he said next. Something about optimism…
"Just hope that it's a good place to hide for a while." He added. Gaia! Cut it out! You wanna make me think I gonna die, just say it! 'You're going to tot-al-ly die.' If someone would just tell me that, then I could work on just accepting it.
"Kozue, just stop it." I sighed. He was being really pessimistic. I just didn't wanna deal with it anymore. Not today. I wanted to go to sleep, perhaps find someone who could get this damn belt off, and then go on with whatever life I had left. Hopefully it was enough to get Orion back to his owners. If not that much, then maybe Zack could do it for me… Man, I hated thinking about this.
"I'm just making sure you know. This guy, he's not playing around. He's out for blood, Cloud. He won't rest until he has your head." I placed my hand on my neck at the thought. My head? Gyah! The thought made my skin crawl. What could I have done to make someone want to kill me? Let alone want my… head… The thought was too painful. Not something I wanted to dwell on. But now I couldn't stop thinking about it. I focused back on Orion trying to stop thinking about it but…
"Orion, I don't wanna die…" I whispered to the bird. All he did was chirp absently. I guess there was a chance I'd be okay. But…
--
(A/N) Holy crap this chapter came out long. Sorry again for having them talk to each other way too much. I didn't even notice while I was writing the last one. As for this one, hopefully it wasn't too much of a repeat for you guys. I'll really try to be more careful about that later on. But still, the length on this one. This is the longest chapter yet. Geez. Cloud talks too much. That's all I have to say about that. I really am sorry. But reviews are still necessary.