A/N: I'm posting chapters of both stories today – if you're reading both stories then make sure you read the new chapter of Something Changed before you read this one because there's a slight crossover between the chapters and it will make more sense that way!

Please note, this is a very dark chapter in places (but then do remember some of the themes of the show the fic is based on are just as dark) and also remember that my philosophy is that it's OK to put characters through hell as long as everything works out OK in the end! It might be a few days before I am able to write again because we've got a house full of sickies again but normal service will be resumed soon -x-

~xXx~

Chapter 17

The news on the radio gave Robin and Kim little reassurance. Tales of their disappearances had been followed with the words 'Police have no leads'. That wasn't what they needed to hear.

Kim stared at Robin. Listening to the news had distracted them from the song that had played previously and delayed Robin's answer but her question still stood.

"Come on Rob," she said quietly, "you've got to tell me. What happened in ninety five?"

Robin hesitated. He already knew that the news wasn't going to stall Kim forever but he wasn't sure he could face talking about it. He looked away and took a deep breath.

"My father," he said quietly, "he killed my mother."

Kim's choked reaction showed Robin that she certainly hadn't been expecting that.

"What?" she breathed.

Robin couldn't meet her eye.

"He wasn't a very nice man," he said quietly, "he used to drink a lot. Eventually mum was going to leave him. She was getting us out of there, but he found out. Beat her so badly she died." He closed his eyes, his voice dropping so low that Kim could hardly hear. "Damn near killed me too."

Kim stared at him, lost for words for quite some time. A terrible, consuming sense of nausea filled her and she shuddered from head to toe.

"Shit, Rob," she breathed eventually, "I… I never knew…. God, I'm so sorry," she struggled for worlds and still couldn't find any that seemed right. She wished so much that she had an arm free to touch his shoulder, give him comfort, show him that she was there but all she had were words and they were failing her. She swallowed. "I thought my reason for going back was bad, it was nothing compared to…" she trailed off and flinched as she recalled her time in the nineties. "Oh God, you… had to see it all again, didn't you?" the realisation came upon her like a ten ton weight. Robin's tightly closed eyes and the movement of his throat as he swallowed back tears gave her the answer before his nod confirmed it. "Fuck…" her mouth hung open, the shock stealing all sense from her.

"But it changed me." Robin's words were quiet but steady. For a moment Kim seemed surprised that he had even been able to speak. His expression was stronger now, his emotions wrestled under control and his eyes open once again. She stared on, waiting for him to continue.

"How?" she whispered eventually.

Robin looked down and swallowed.

"I walked in," he whispered, "picked the other me up. Took him out. Took me out." He shook his head slowly. "All my life I remembered being taken out of that house and the safety and security I felt in that moment. That was why I joined up in the first place. Suddenly I was," he flinched as the words sounded trite, "I was my own hero. That changed me. It took a while after I came back to get my head around it, but that was what made the difference." He looked back at Kim. "suddenly I wasn't fading into the background any more."

Kim stared at him, seeing something hidden away within his eyes that she'd never seen before. It was strange, but for the short time they'd known each other their friendship had become firm and deep but yet she knew very little about Robin's past. This was a crash course that she was going to take a while to get over.

"Bloody Hell, Robin," she whispered.

Robin's expression changed a little, becoming thoughtful and distant.

"I always wonder," he said quietly, "who it was the first time. Here."

"What? Who?" Kim frowned.

"Who took me out the house," Robin shook his head slowly. "I never found out."

Kim looked at him sadly.

"The whole going back in time and facing your demons thing," she said quietly. He looked back at her. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

Despite himself, Robin gave a tiny smile.

"Like crazy," he agreed. He fell silent, his mind miles away. Eventually he gave a deep sigh and said to Kim, "Once all this is over you're teaching me how to drink and we're going to consume a very large amount of scotch."

"Oh, don't." sighed Kim, "it was bad enough teaching Simon to drink."

Robin bit his lip as he looked at Kim's slightly awkward expression. Sometimes it seemed as though Simon was the white elephant in the room between them. Whatever happened to Simon in the time between Robin waking up and Kim leaving the nineties, Kim remained fairly tight-lipped about it. Robin could understand that to a point, she must have felt in a very awkward position, unsure what she should and shouldn't share. But there were months of Simon-ness that Kim knew and Robin felt too afraid to ask about. He hesitated.

"Did… did he start drinking a lot?" he asked quietly.

Kim looked at him a little guiltily. She cursed herself for making that comment.

"A bit," She said quietly.

"How much is 'a bit?" Robin's voice sounded strained.

Kim stared at him, wishing she had more reassurances for him.

"He wasn't an alcoholic or anything," she said quickly, "he just…" she trailed off a little. "He didn't cope with being apart as well as you have."

Robin gave a mocking laugh.

"Yeah, right."

"No, seriously."

"You remember the state I was on the first time we met," Robin pointed out.

"You were dealing with more than Simon was," Kim pointed out, "and look at you now." She sighed and shook her head slowly. "You always put yourself down, Rob. Always make out like Simon's the strong one."

"He always has been."

"Maybe because you let him be," Kim said quietly.

Robin hesitated.

"How do you mean?" he asked.

"Maybe," Kim whispered, "he thought he was the strong one because you stayed in the shadows. Maybe he didn't realise how much strength he actually drew from you."

Robin stared at her. The dim light shone reflected from her eyes.

"But was he OK?" he asked.

Kim wasn't sure. Elements of Simon's behaviour at the time worried her and she couldn't shake them from her mind. Even years on she wondered whether he coped after she left.

"He's OK," she whispered, just hoping that was the truth. Before Robin could ask her anything else and before she had a chance to change the subject the opening bars of a song on the radio caught her attention. They made her freeze absolutely and her heart started to race. The strange look on her face brought alarm to Robin.

"Oh God, don't tell me this is your trigger now?" he pleaded.

Kim looked at him, a crooked smile upon her face and shook her head.

"No," she whispered, "not… not a bad one, at any rate. It's just," she closed her eyes for a moment as Moments in Love by Art of Noise played through the barge, "it reminds me of something. Reminds me of someone."

"Who?" Robin whispered.

The sad smile on Kim's face confused him. Was it a good memory or a bad one?

"Someone I used to know," she said quietly. She sniffed a little, tears of emotion threatening to build in her eye. "Of course, that's the problem with that whole bloody world," she whispered, "there comes a time when you have to say goodbye." Kim hadn't thought about Shaz in years. It hurt too much to remember someone she'd felt so strongly about with no way to ever see her again. She was surprised by the fast pounding of her heart and the tingling down below as she remembered her.

"Sounds like it was someone pretty special," Robin whispered.

Kim nodded and bit her slip. She knew Robin was waiting for her to expand upon that but she couldn't bring herself to talk about it, especially not in the middle of such a grim situation. She was almost glad of the distraction that came from the hollow growling noise her stomach let forth, empty and desperate for nourishment. The darkness hid her pink cheeks as she blushed with embarrassment. "Sorry," she said quietly, "that was me."

Robin gave a gentle laugh.

"I didn't like to say," he smiled, relieved that a little of the high tension had been broken. Ever since Keats left them on the barge in search of Layton's favourite kind of pick 'n' mix their conversation had been intense and their emotions had been running high. He wasn't sure his nerves could cope with much more. His head was starting to hurt from dehydration and he felt weak throughout his body. Unfortunately for him, Kim had another question and it wasn't going to be a light-hearted one. He could see from the look in her eyes that there was something important she needed to ask.

"Rob?"

He looked at her.

"What?"

"What happened on the road with Alex?"

Robin felt his whole body turn cold from his head to his toes.

"What?"

"I can't stop thinking about what you said," Kim whispered, "about your strange reaction."

"What strange reaction?" Robin asked quietly, just trying to stall for time.

"Come on, Rob," Kim said sternly, "this is me. No bullshitting. I can read you like a book. What happened when you crashed? How did you know about…" she trailed off. She could see he already knew what she was asking. Clarifying was overkill. She saw his eyes turn downward.

"I don't know, Kim," he whispered, "even at the time I didn't understand it, but now..." he shook his head slowly.

"How did you know about the tingling hands and the heat?" Kim whispered. She already knew the answer deep down but tried to deny it. She didn't like the implications. Neither did Robin as his terrified eyes proved when they met her gaze.

"Alex died on the road, Kim," he whispered, "in my arms. I dragged her out of the car and I held her," his voice wavered as though tears were about to fall at any second, "I could feel her slipping away, and I knew that was for the best," he choked a little as he thought about those strange, inexplicable moments, "I held her head in my arms and I felt her, just like you said," his eyes glistened with tears now, "I felt her lifting up, out of her body. There was this heat inside if me… all around my heart… I had to help her," his voice grew so low that Kim had to lip-read to catch half of his words, "and she moved on. She went home." As he blinked, one tear fell. "I did it too, Kim. What they do. I did it too."

Kim swallowed, a lump in her throat. Her eyes were fixed on Robin's, his own fear reflected in her eyes.

"That's not possible," she whispered.

"But it happened," Robin told her. He swallowed. "The bullet went straight through me. How did it hit you instead of me? It went right through me like I wasn't even there."

Kim flinched. She tried hard not to think about that.

"He must have…" she tried to argue that his bullet had missed or that his aim had been poor but she knew it was a fruitless argument. She saw the bullet pass straight through Robin and she'd relived it in her mind a thousand times. She simply didn't want to admit what it could mean.

"I'm…" he breathed, "there's something wrong with me…"

"Robin, no," Kim shook her head, desperately trying to stop him from thinking that way.

"If I'm like them," Robin found himself trembling, "then I…. I must be –"

"No, Rob, please don't say it," Kim whispered.

"But I must be," Robin's voice shook as badly as his body, "how else could I help her? How else could I send her back?"

Kim shook her head a little more violently. She couldn't bear to think of it, even as ridiculous as it sounded.

"Maybe you were just in the right place at the right time…" she began.

"But that doesn't explain how I could do it," Robin whispered, "why me? And I've been," he flinched, "I've been seeing things… hearing things… Simon," his voice trailed away.

"What do you mean?" Kim whispered.

"And that's not possible," Robin hissed, "is it?" he stared at Kim, "did you ever, ever hear or see anything from that world? In all the time since you woke up? Even just once?"

Kim stared at him. She stayed still and silent for the longest time but finally she could only shake her head.

"No," she breathed.

Robin swallowed again but he couldn't fight back another tear.

"Am I even alive?" he breathed.

Kim stared at him. Her heart pounded in her chest and her cold fingers began to shake.

"Touch me," she whispered.

"What?"

"Put your hand on me, Robin."

"Why-?"

"Just… just do it," Kim breathed, "Please?"

Hesitantly Robin reached out with his free hand and laid it against Kim's shoulder. She closed her eyes as she took in the sensation; the pressure of his fingers, the warmth of his body heat through her clothing. He was real, solid, alive.

"Kim, I don't understand."

"You feel real enough to me," Kim whispered as she opened her eyes.

Robin was trapped in her gaze.

"That's what I always thought too," he whispered, "until now."

"It doesn't make any sense, Rob," Kim shook her head slowly, "if you were dead why would you be here? You'd be there, with Simon and Alex and Gene."

"Alex was here," Robin whispered.

"What?"

"The wrong Alex."

"But she still had a body to return to here," Kim whispered "if you died you'd be under the ground by now."

"Nothing seems to make sense, Kim," Robin trembled, "everything's been insane. And I know what you're saying but what if I had to come back here for a reason, even though I was supposed to be dead? What if I was here to help Alex? Or to stop Keats now?"

"Robin, this is all so –"

"I know, I know it's crazy," Robin shook his head slowly, "but then again… when you first woke in ninety five, wasn't that crazy too?"

Kim swallowed.

"Yes," she whispered,

"Didn't that redefine 'crazy' for you?"

Kim felt tears come to her eyes. They took her by surprise.

"Yes," she whispered.

Robin's fingers moved slowly up and down her arm as he whispered,

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable –"

"- Must be the truth," Kim knew the quote well.

Robin caught her in his stare and she couldn't break away.

"Do you think it's improbable," he whispered, "that I'm already dead?"

Kim took in a jagged breath.

"Yes," she whispered.

Robin nodded.

"But," he whispered, "after all you've seen… all you've experienced… here, there, back and forth," his lip waivered, "do you think that it's impossible?"

Kim stared into his eyes and desperately wished the answer was yes. She wished with every bone in her body she could tell him that he was being stupid, that there was no possible way he could be anything but 100% alive and kicking. But she'd seen too much. She'd been places that made little sense in her mind. She'd grasped the seemingly intangible and understood it to be every bit as real as the ropes that tied her arms together. With tears in her eyes she whispered,

"No… No, Robin. It's not impossible."

Robin felt acid burning his throat as he tried to comprehend what this meant. His head throbbed and his head couldn't handle the thoughts floating around in his mind.

"When you got shot," Robin whispered, "in ninety five… what happened?"

Kim's lip trembled.

"The bullet," she whispered, "it went… went right through him."

"Through who?" Robin already knew the answer.

"Simon," Kim breathed.

Robin felt the breath leave his body in an exclamation of despair that he wasn't expecting.

"Fuck."

Kim stared at him again. There was something different about him. Something she'd never seen before. She didn't know what it was but she felt drawn to him, like a magnet. She couldn't even blink. Didn't dare.

"Robin," she whispered. She'd never found herself caught in his stare so strongly before. Had she ever noticed how dark, how deep his eyes were? She didn't think so.

"What?" Kim's intense gaze caught Robin off-guard, "what's the matter?"

Kim's heart beat so hard it felt as though there was a hole on her chest where it beat itself free. Something overtook her, something she couldn't explain. Shaking, trembling, she moved her head forward and her eyelids gently closed. The fear travelling through her veins was insane and she couldn't understand what she was doing, she just knew that she had to do it.

She pressed her lips against Robin's, a move that surprised her every bit as much as it did Robin, and felt a pounding in her chest. Shocked and stunned by her actions, Robin didn't kiss her back but he didn't push her away either. His eyes briefly closed as his breath seemed to disappear from his lungs, the shock of her action stealing it from within him. It was the first time anyone had shown him an intimate gesture since his last night in ninety five with Simon and despite being the wrong person, the wrong gender and the wrong place, Kim's kiss gave Robin a sense of care and warmth through his body.

He felt himself shaking all over as her lips drew away and his eyes opened again. He found himself staring right into her eyes, Kim as shocked and dazed as Robin was himself. Her lips moved as though about to offer some kind of explanation or apology but no sound emerged from within and nothing coherent seemed to form. Robin ran his tongue around his lips. They seemed dry and he could tell the unfamiliar taste of Kim against them. God, his pulse was racing. He found himself struck dumb, struggling for a word, any word at all.

Say something. Please, say something. Break the silence.

As it turned out, they didn't need to. The silence was broken in the most shattering way.

"Well."

The voice neither of them expected. The voice neither of them wanted to hear. Two pairs of shocked eyes became two pairs of horrified eyes.

"I wouldn't have believed that if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes." The pacing footsteps came closer until a pair of feet stood right beside them and Keats crouched down by their side. There was a fixed, sneering smile upon his face, a sneer that was very clearly not Layton's. It was Keats's own smile. He'd managed to 'import' it over. In fact, his features were looking less like Layton's with every passing moment as he stared at them and continued; "This is getting to be a bit of a habit, isn't it Kimberley?" His glare focused on her, "for a self-professed dyke you seem to be doing a very good job of venturing into heterosexual territory, don't you?" His sneer turned to Robin. "Although with hair like that you could be forgiven for thinking you were kissing a girl." Keats's stare flicked from one of them to the other, waiting for one of them to react, to say something, anything at all. In truth, both were too shocked by what had happened to give full attention to the fact that an angry Keats was kneeling beside them, spitting venom in their direction.

Kim trembled as she glanced from Robin to Keats, from one pair of shocked dark eyes to a pair of angry, bitter ones. She swallowed but her mouth felt so dry it might as well have been full of sand. She couldn't explain what had happened. She couldn't explain what she'd done or why. That strange moment, the strange compulsion, feeling drawn to Robin was something that went beyond any understanding of sexuality or attraction or emotion. It was a connection, a deep bond and a moment of utter intensity born of fear and confusion.

"Thought I was going to have to try some persuasion," Keats hissed, his defined features bursting through Layton's mask of wretched skin in flashes, "but it looks like you're up for it tonight so you'll enjoy what I've got in mind."

Kim's eyes grew wide and a terrible scream rang from her throat as Keats's words sank in and she realised what he had in mind for her.

"No!" her voice was louder and more urgent than it had ever been, "No!"

"Get the hell away from her!" Robin cried, lashing out with his free arm to strike him but he quickly skipped past Kim and began to work on untying her binds. The thrashing and writhing of her body made the task difficult, but his efficient knot tying made it even harder. He started to swear and curse as his fingers fumbled at the ropes, causing a mocking cry from Robin.

"Ha! He can't untie his own knots!"

It was a stupid, childish, cheap shot but it certainly served to increase Keats's anger. He gave a loud, violent cry of frustration and thumped his fists to the ground. Finally he took out his knife and tried to rip his way through the rope with the blade.

"Not that I object to the occasional bit of bondage," he hissed through gritted teeth, "but I was rather hoping to enjoy this without the ropes." When he failed to make much of a dent in the binds he gave a grunt, pushed Kim's head to the floor in anger and stood up, swaggering from side to side in fury. Whether it was the drugs or the remains of Layton's crumbling body he just couldn't control his hands well enough. "Fine!" he spat, "bondage it is."

"No!" Kim tried to struggle and writhe from his grip as he lowered himself beside her and brought one hand around to her chest. "Get your fucking hands away from me!" she screamed.

Keats had waited long enough. He'd been at the mercy of Layton's compulsions and now it was time to allow his own to get some air time. He crawled on top of her, straddled her and reached for the fastening around her waist but hadn't expected the primal, animalistic scream that came from beside him or the violent motion that ripped his leg almost out of place as Robin grasped the leg of his trousers with his free hand and tried to pull him clean away from Kim. He almost succeeded too. Whether it was the gym sessions paying off or simply Robin's hatred for the man who had more lives than the cast of Cats put together he found a strength he never knew was there.

Keats gave a gasp of surprise as Robin's second attempt at removing him from Kim succeeded in dragging him to the floor, followed by a punch in the guts from his one free hand. Blazing eyes of anger turned to Robin, a look of absolute disgust upon the copper's face. Suddenly Keats's urges changed and morphed as his fury took precedent over his libido. Perhaps there was a way to deal with both.

"Jealous, are we?" he spat in Robin's face, "what, you want a piece of me too? that can be arranged. " He grasped Robin's free arm and pulled it back sharply, turning him onto his front and pinning the arm beneath his legs as he unfastened the portion of the rope tying Robin's binds to Kim's. "I fancy another go in that nice, cosy bed of yours anyway," he hissed into Robin's ear as he whimpered and cried out beneath him, Keats's knee in his back and fear running through his veins, "think your flat's going to be nice and empty for us? None of your uniformed mates hanging around, I hope?" He grasped Robin under the arms and began to pull him away. "I suppose we can always do a lap of honour if it looks busy, can't we?"

"Get the fuck away from me," Robin screamed, wildly thrashing in his grasp but he'd used up the last of his real energy pulling Keats away from Kim and he had little left to protect himself.

"Robin!" Kim's scream was haunted and terrified.

"Shush now," Keats hissed as he tightened his grasp, defeating Robin's attempts at breaking away, "don't want you losing your voice, do we?" he gave a sigh and stared at Robin. "I hope your arse isn't as hairy as Simon's."

That was the last thing Keats said as he took Robin from the barge, the screams of Kim ringing in his ears behind him and Robin's own cries accompanying him all the way to the car. So his last three points of his plan were going to be slightly out of order. So what? Kim could wait. Maybe he should save the best for last anyway. Time for Robin to get what was coming to him first and beyond that? Well, one thing at a time.

He had it all planned out. The plan was so simple. He could almost see it playing out in his mind.

Funny how the one thing he didn't see was the surprise that awaited him at Robin's. Pretty soon the possibility of cops swarming the place would be the least of his worries.