(A/N) I know this took forever to get posted but it was only half my fault. I took a little while but my computer got slammed by a virus and had to be completely wiped. I'm not saying I had to start over, oh no. I saved everything on a thumb drive before we took it to be killed. But the back-up computer is a mini laptop. It's so mini that it can't handle a program like Microsoft word. Or any other word processing program for that matter. So I couldn't work on it as long as this was dead. And then there was another month where I couldn't use it because it didn't have an anti-virus program. So once I got it back I worked on this whenever I could.
"Zack please." I sighed leaning against the wall. I couldn't be sure why Zack was just standing there staring but I knew I really had to go. And by go I mean go. In this instance, finding the bathroom wasn't the problem. Oh no. The issue here was the stupid belt that held together this whole stupid outfit! And now it was not only fruity but torturous.
I pressed my back closer to the wall and did my best to hold it. But it wasn't easy. I'd been keeping it in for a while now. I was just happy I could hold it for so long. But now it was getting to be too much for me. I had to tell someone. Unfortunately… I miscalculated. I had waited until we'd found the ship and the others had stopped smothering me before I'd whispered to Zack that I needed help. He was more than happy to oblige but he wasn't the right person for the job. Disappointing really. I'd thought he could handle it. Weren't SOLDIERs supposed to know how to do things like this? But he didn't seem to have a clue. He'd just played around with my belt for the past couple minutes. Which didn't help at all. He just needed to hurry.
"I'm trying to but it's harder than it seems." Whoa. That was a rather odd response to my thought. "You sure you don't know how to get it off?"
"No. I just know it needs to come off. I really have to go!" I growled trying to pull it off. It was a little irritating how many times I'd had to remind him of the fact that I freakin' had to pee. Really badly. It almost hurt. Why would someone ever even need something like this?!
Maybe I should've let Kozue cut it off of me… But how was I supposed to know this would happen? I thought someone would've figured out how to get it off by now. Though it looked as if no one knew what they were doing when it came to this. Zack certainly didn't. I wished he did. Mostly I didn't want to embarrass myself by having this go on for too long. Oh man. I really hated being in these situations but somebody really needed to save me!
"What are you doing?" I heard someone ask as they approached. Zack looked shocked. But I couldn't afford to care. One little surprise is all it would take! The embarrassment, however, was a bit harder to hold back. I felt a blush burning on my face. It was unstoppable.
I forced my eyes to look over at what was happening. It was only Vincent. For some reason I couldn't hear them. I saw Zack's mouth moving but no words were coming out. I knew he was talking. He had to be talking. Vincent was listening. For whatever reason I was just tuning it out. Maybe I was getting to the point where I couldn't focus on anything else except blocking the call of nature. This was just ridiculous! I closed my eyes so that I wasn't tempted to watch the others. For whatever reason that seemed to help. And not soon after I felt someone playing with my belt again. The blush was burning even brighter; I could tell that without looking. But who was doing this to me now? Was it Zack again? Oh no. It was only making it worse! This was so frustrating! I felt like I was gonna cry. But I-
What? Wait… the belt gave way! It was off! I was free! Ah! I couldn't make myself take the time to thank whoever had done it. I just ran into the bathroom and shut the door. After that, I did what I had to.
Now that was taken care of… I wasn't gonna think about it anymore. This whole thing was one ordeal I didn't want to ever remember or go through again. I just washed up a little before leaving. It was a little annoying, but convenient. I was currently stripped down to the pants and the under shirt. But only because I didn't want to go with the gloves on and I'd had to take the jacket off in order to do that. Once I'd washed my hands thoroughly enough I began to realize how much cooler it was on the ship. The jacket had certainly done its job of keeping me warm. That was for sure. And since I'd liked being all warm and cozy I put the garments back on. Not the best idea.
As soon as I walked out of the bathroom Vincent took me by surprise and returned the belt to its original place around my waist.
No! Vincent why?! Now I felt like I was gonna cry. This sucked!
"Come tell me if this problem arises again." After that I felt a hand patting my head. Normally I'd be annoyed but now I felt a little disgusted by the touch. I couldn't help it. I'd just gotten the stupid thing off and now it was on me again! One could only imagine that I would be a little bit miffed. I didn't care if it was childish. I let them both see it. I wanted the belt off! Why couldn't anyone understand this?! My complaint was about to be voiced, loudly. But before I could say a thing Vincent walked away.
I slouched and almost pouted. That was before I'd remembered that Zack was still standing in the hall with me. I had to be careful not to do things that may cause him to behave strangely. He seemed to react to things like pouting. Instead I asked, "Zack… could you…" I dunno. "Kill me?" This whole situation was just stupid. "Please?" Please! Somebody put me out of my misery! My life was being run by a belt! A stupid leather bound belt!
"No. Why would I do that?" Why? Because I asked you to. That's why!
"Because I hate this stupid outfit!" I snapped back. I didn't mean to. Good thing my voice was weak from my giving up on life entirely. Agh! How much more dramatic could I be? I wanted to die because I was stuck in an outfit I didn't like? That was just stupid! I was stupid! Why was I so stupid?! I hid my face in my hands, took a deep breath, and just slumped down against the wall. I couldn't help it. I was a dramatic person. I really didn't like these clothes. "It makes me look so… so…" Honestly? It looked as though I were a victim of a crazy aunt. A crazy aunt who liked to dress their nephews up like girls. Not just an aunt. Any relative. There was always one. One of those people who thought it was just so adorable to make what they full well know is a boy dress all, "Fruity!" I didn't like it! It was times like these that made me glad that I didn't know any of my relatives. I didn't even care if I had any! The only people I needed were Mum, my friends, and Zack.
"… Not true." Wait. What's not true now? Oops… "Blue is a good color on you." Oh. He was talking about my clothes. Okay. I'd listen. But I knew his bias. Which kinda took down his credibility a couple notches. "It makes you look cute. Cute isn't fruity." I knew it. His bias also made it so that his reasoning was going to be linked to cuteness. He had to think that way. Which meant nothing because he'd probably find anything I wore cute. Still. I had to disagree. Cute wasn't one of my favorite compliments. Cute was good when you were a little kid. Not when you were older than about… ten.
"Yes it is. Cute is definitely fruity." I responded. Zack only made a face as though he disagreed. "It's not good." What did he know?! Did he have to put up with people telling him all these weird things? People he's never even met?! Seriously, where did Tifa find all these weirdoes? All these people who speak right to me as though they know me! It wasn't necessarily a bad thing that they wanted to help in the whole… protecting me thing. But I… whatever. I just didn't like how they thought they could make all these decisions for me and have discussions about me. It was really rude. Still, "Do you like to be called cute?" It would be a little strange if he did.
"Uhh…" Exactly what I thought. "Maybe…?" He paused for a moment before making an unsure sound. What? He didn't know? Well I did. And I didn't like it. It sounded as though he couldn't say much on the topic. That was good. Spared me a hassle.
"You're not making a very convincing argument." I muttered to the floor.
"Alright. Fine" Yeah. We're not going to talk about it anymore, so stop trying. "A sensitive subject." Yeah, what was your first clue? "Let's just do something else for now. What do you want to do?"
"Find something else to wear." I grumbled. Was that even a question?
That seemed to agitate him. He groaned before saying, "Besides that." Besides that? I didn't want to do anything else. He asked me what I wanted to do and I told him. Wasn't it supposed to end at that? "Was someone looking after you out there?" He finally asked after a long pause.
Oh. So he wanted to play twenty questions? That was it. So he wasn't genuinely interested in what I wanted to do. He just wanted to pull information from me. But I wasn't really sure if I should tell him anything. I didn't want to get Kozue in trouble. I had to assume that I was right in thinking that he was a convict or something. If I told Zack about him he might tell someone and then, worst case scenario, he might have some Shinra troops after him. Oh, oops. I wasn't paying attention. "What?" I asked. He made a face telling me he hadn't said anything else. "Umm…" What had he said? "Yes." I remember now. Kozue. Yeah. Kozue was the one looking after me. But I wasn't going to give out his name to anyone. Even though that wasn't his name.
"Yes?" Yeah. "Who was it?"
"I dunno." I lied. I'd kinda gotten good at it. "Does it matter?" I'd also found that people didn't hassle me too much if I played dumb. Not that I needed much help in that category. When I looked back on certain situations I could see that sometimes when I'd acted really stupid I wasn't acting. Kinda a bad thing to realize. I glanced over at Zack in time to see him nod. "But I don't know." This wasn't a lie at least. "He lied to me about who he was the whole time." That made him take on a rather perplexed look. Good, he was confused by that too. I could also use this to take the conversation away from where it was going. "Do we really have to travel like this?" I'd just remembered that we were about to fly! Why did it have to be an airship?! Land vehicles were bad enough! Hopefully it wouldn't seem so bad compared to flying with Kozue. "I already feel sick just thinking about it." I stood up and felt unsteady on my feet even while we were still. Leaning against the wall helped.
"Hey! Don't get sick now! We aren't even moving." Uhh… this wasn't really something I could stop. "Uh… uh…" What? "Think about something else." Such as?! I was open to suggestion at this point. This was ridiculous!
What happened next was fast. The ship lurched to life and took off. I watched Zack sway slightly but when I looked back to the floor I couldn't help but notice how much closer it was getting. Great! I'd fallen over like an idiot! And as if that wasn't bad enough, I hope he didn't notice, I'd gasped. In a little high-pitched way. Perhaps I should go out the airlock again…
"Are you okay?!" Zack asked as he knelt down to level with me.
I just closed my eyes without saying anything. Why wouldn't I be okay? This was a little annoying but… I could deal with it. I didn't really like it when he didn't pay attention to me. Not like that happened much, but the few times it did, I didn't like it. Now that I think about it that could become annoying to him. So, even though I probably wouldn't, I'd have to make sure not to become bratty. I mean, it was okay. His focus could be on something else. I stood up slowly. "I'm gonna go lie down." I sighed. He tried to say something else but I decided to work on getting to the room. If he wanted to continue chatting he could follow me.
"Okay." I heard him say behind me. Then, expected of the expected, his footsteps indicated that he was following me. That was alright. I'd be fine as long as he allowed me to walk with my own two legs. And for a moment it looked like he wasn't going to let me. He placed his arms on my shoulders, but I relaxed when he didn't lift me up. He was just making sure I didn't fall over I suppose. Again, it was a little annoying but if he didn't do it I think I'd be insulted. So I guess it was good that he was doing that. But…
His hands left my shoulders as he sighed with a remembrance of something. "I'll be right there." What? "I just need a minute." What was he…? Okay. I nodded and kept going on my own.
This was okay. I mean, maybe I should avoid him. I did kinda do something stupid a few hours ago. I could hardly believe it. I'd kissed Zack! Since the others had found us he hadn't said much of anything about it. At least they didn't find us making out or anything. But, for some reason, they didn't seem to like it. The dark haired man, Vincent, practically snatched me away. He wasn't rough or anything but it was kinda rude. We were only hugging after all. I just couldn't understand why he did it. He didn't do it in a jealous way or anything… And now they'd just decided that I had to keep this stupid belt on?! I couldn't be certain but I was pretty sure that the two things were linked.
Oh well… I'd just go back to my room and sleep. Thinking about this crud was making the nausea worse!
I'd finally made it to my room after a few minutes of trudging down the hall. I couldn't help but notice how considerably longer it had seemed. It was almost an ordeal! But after it all, I suppose it was worth it to see Orion. He was all curled up on the bed sound asleep. I envied him. I could try to sleep, but it was always hard for me to get to sleep when I was this uncomfortable. If only I didn't have this stupid motion sickness. Then I'd sleep every time we traveled. Hmm… Maybe I should take some Nyquil… Or was it Pepto? I just needed something to make me feel better and drowsy at the same time.
But when I checked the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, it looked as though it wasn't stocked with much. There wasn't anything that could be used to help me. "Oh well…" I sighed. It couldn't be helped. I walked back over to the bed and laid there defeated. I was gonna have to live with it. Oh man… I didn't wanna! This was so annoying! I felt really gross! I wonder if Vincent would at least let me bathe. Seeing as how gross could be simplified down to feeling like trash and kinda grimy at the same time. I wonder if I stank. Did all this really matter at this point? Concentrating on something else worked for a short time it felt. But it didn't work long. This time especially.
I curled up, bringing my knees close, and decided not to move. This always worked out the best. It made me feel like I was almost… comfortable. I might've been able to fall asleep if it weren't for the door opening. "You doin' okay?" I heard Zack ask. Why… did that sound so… familiar? Whatever.
I ignored the déjà vu feeling and nodded. "I feel better than I did. Not a good idea to move though." It really wasn't. I felt fine now but that feeling would go away if I even tried to sit up. Zack was a good guy.
"Kweh!"
What?! What was that? Orion? Why was he misbehaving? Oh… wait. Zack must've moved. It was strange the way Orion hated the idea of Zack coming too close to me. "Calm down, Orion." I groaned. I was so sick of people doing this! Sure I hadn't known him for too long, but Zack wanted to be… friends… maybe. What was I talking about?! Zack hadn't done anything! It was me! It was all me. So Zack wasn't as bad as everyone seemed to think. All of these odd people I didn't even know nonverbally accusing him of something. I'd known him longer than I'd known them! Oh… what was the point? I didn't have the energy for this. I didn't even have the energy to stop Orion. That would've required me to move. And that was something I really didn't want to do. So…
I guess I'd started to doze off because I was suddenly snapped back to the waking world when Zack said my name. I didn't want conversation; I wanted to sleep through this. I'd finally started to and then he stopped me. Oh man! And since I didn't want to talk I simply let out an obviously false snore. "Hey!"
What happened next was a bit of a blur to me. One moment I was on the bed, the next I was on the floor. Did… Zack just… kick me off the bed? I couldn't tell. I was so stressed out, Orion was screaming, and now I was on the floor being showered by some green feathers. Was I supposed to be getting a migraine? I didn't want a migraine! "Zaaack." Make it stop!
"C'mon Cloud, just get up. Don't think about it." What? Didn't I tell him that I didn't think it was a good idea for me to move? I was pretty sure I'd puke if I put my core through the process of trying to lift myself up off the floor. Darn it! This was just cruel! I knew he was trying to help but… I just didn't wanna.
"I can't." It hurt whenever I tensed my core muscles. Was he torturing me? No… No, Zack wouldn't do that. I knew that. I was just being stupid. I always got cranky like his when I got sick. But there wasn't much prevention to be done. I just hated being even more helpless than usual!
"Attempt. Please attempt." What made him think that I could? Why was he so sure that I could do this?! I looked up at him with almost a glare but lost the anger once our eyes met. He looked so hopeful; like he actually believed in me. Didn't he know that was a meaningless effort? I wasn't strong or intelligent. I was hardly worth anything. I'd tried to change that by joining the army and proving them all wrong. But… Well things didn't really work out the short time I was in the barracks. I was pretty sure my instructors hated me. And now this?! How could Zack have any hope left? If I couldn't even do something so simple as getting people to take me seriously how was I supposed to do this? It couldn't be done. "Just try to get up. That's all I'm asking." He said in a pleading voice. I couldn't help but get a little frustrated. He shouldn't waste his time on me like this. He should just give up like all the others. I couldn't do anything! Didn't he understand that?! "Fine, do you want me to help you?" He sighed.
No. I shook my head as best I could. "I'll stay on the floor." I answered. I didn't want to move. The floor was fine. I was getting used to it. I could be comfortable here.
"Wark! Wark! Wark!" Okay… maybe not. Ugh… Why?
"How do I make him stop?" Zack asked covering his hears. I cringed slightly. Orion was screaming right next to him. That had to be really harsh on his enhanced hearing.
"Uhh…" How could I help? I grit my teeth and used my hands to push myself up. The pain was about as bad as I'd expected. It wouldn't have been worth it otherwise. But this circumstance seemed to call for me showing the chick that I wasn't hurt by Zack. "Orion." He couldn't hear me over his own noise, I'm sure. Oh c'mon! "Calm down." I tried again. But it wasn't working. He really couldn't hear me. His squawking was too loud for anyone to even hear themselves think.
"Okay. C'mon Cloud." That was the only warning Zack gave before forcing me up onto my knees. He coulda done a better job than that. Needless to say, it took me by surprise. And this surprise hurt. It'd spared me the pain of trying to force myself to get up again. But movement was movement. I suppose it could've been worse but… just… ow. I didn't even bother to hide how annoyed I was. If I were to puke right now I had no idea if I'd bother to try and avoid hitting Zack or not. Hopefully I'd forgive him if that happened. Orion was already screaming and practically attacking him, I guess he didn't need me to go and puke on his lap. That being decided I wasn't going to think about it anymore. It was gross. And it made me want to bathe even more. Sadly, that wasn't something they were allowing me to do. For some reason… Maybe I should just forget about how insecure or afraid I was of him and ask Vincent to take the belt off. Or beg. I wasn't too proud to beg about stupid things.
Ouch! I was being moved again. "You need to show Orion that I'm not evil." Zack breathed as he pulled me up onto the bed. The biggest problem here would be that he was trying to be careful. In most situations like this I would've appreciated that, but now it was torture. Careful movements made the ordeal go by slowly. Couldn't he just do it quickly and get it done in one fell swoop?! I knew it wouldn't really have made a difference. But I couldn't help it! I couldn't take the pain and discomfort. Zack sounded pretty oblivious to the pain he was causing me. And I wasn't going to whine about it, so I'd just have to get over it I guess. He seemed to really believe that he could magically make Orion like him. How was he supposed to do that? I was able to listen when the pain subsided from the movement ceasing. He said something about doing it through example. How was that even possible?
"I can't do it." I answered. I couldn't move, what could I do? What could I do?! I was more useless than usual like this! Great! Even though I wasn't moving my frustration was making my stomach churn. I clutched my stomach in a stupid attempt to make myself feel better. It didn't do much to help me relax but I felt as though I had to do something.
"You don't need to do anything." Well that's a relief. He shifted slightly so that he could wrap his arms around me… I hadn't even realized he was lying next to me. "You just need to lay here and relax." Relax? That would've been a very nice notion. But I felt as though I was too riled up to even begin to relax!
"But I-"
"Shush!"
That was out of the ordinary. I guess Zack was sick of hearing whatever I was gonna say. Something degrading towards myself. I'd forgotten what I was going to say. Not many people shushed me. At least they didn't very often. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. It didn't quite sound like he was. "Just relax." He whispered into my ear. It was loud for a whisper. I found it very strange how his hot breath made me shiver. This always happened. And it always made me feel weird. I shouldn't be reacting this way. He was a guy. I knew that I'd already done worse… but I dunno. I needed confirmation on some things.
"Wark!" Orion screeched. Great! Interrupt me!
"Orion, stop it!" I ordered. It wasn't the best thing to lose my temper with him like that. But what was I supposed to do about it? He was being unreasonable, not that I'd expected him to be able to reason. He just showed no signs of stopping any time soon. Besides, it worked. He quieted down and eventually got off the bed to go sleep in the corner. I was already frustrated and then there was the noise, and my stupidity… I just needed to… Uh… I wouldn't make a habit of it.
"Oof!" I gasped as Zack suddenly pulled me closer to him. How was I supposed to relax when this was happening? I'd never been so close to someone before. At least not like this. His body was right up against mine. Or mine was right up against his. He was close, very close. Not exactly too close. I was surprisingly comfortable with this. But not too comfortable. This whole thing was still a little bit awkward for me. Wasn't this…? I don't know. I probably shouldn't worry about it. It felt good. I liked to feel secure like this. If only I didn't feel sick. I'd feel so much happier if I wasn't in so much pain. I got the feeling that he was trying to help. He was even stroking the hand I had on my stomach. But I couldn't stop myself from feeling as bad as I did.
Wait. What was he doing now? This was… Zack was… he was nipping my jaw. Strange. It made me feel really funny. I could feel my face heating up as something odd started to form at the pit of my stomach. It made me feel great for an instant, but then… well… you know. It didn't last. Instead it blended with the sickness and the blush began to feel like a fever instead. Good thing it passed quickly. The feverish feeling anyway. I silently groaned in some sort of relief. And then Zack decided he was going to kiss me again. It didn't matter how light it was, or that it was only on the cheek like last time, it still made the blush come back. And it was more furious than before. I guess now he wasn't going to give me time to round back to feeling sick because he didn't stop there. But I didn't know what he was doing exactly. Or more like I didn't know why he was doing it. For some reason he was… nibbling my ear? That had happened before but I didn't think anyone seriously did that. I thought it was a joke. But now Zack was doing it? He wasn't cruel, he wouldn't prank me like this, right? I wanted to ask but my voice was gone. It felt like I couldn't even open my mouth. Some sound wanted to come out but I didn't want Zack to hear it. I had no idea what it was going to be and I didn't want to risk being embarrassed by it. Although I found it was harder and harder to hold it in, especially when he slowly dragged his tongue up the lobe. Why was he licking my ear? Ohh… never mind. Who cared? I didn't.
I felt some movement from his other hand. He reached up with his left hand and caressed my cheek. Then he tried to pull me even closer, even though that wasn't possible, and ended up squeezing me. Now I was starting to feel uncomfortable again. The illness was beginning to win over whatever Zack was doing. I tried to move away from him but, Zack was holding me too tight, he wouldn't let go. He was kissing what part of my neck he could and appeared to be in his own little world. His thumb was even stroking my lower lip and felt as though it was trying to gain entry to my mouth. I wasn't gonna let that happen. How was I supposed to tell him to stop? If I opened my mouth to speak I'd… Ugh. I closed my eyes and tried to think of how to fix this but I couldn't focus. Oh no. This was going south! My eyes snapped open when I'd realized that it literally was going south. Zack's hand had slipped down to my belt. He even fumbled with it a little before just letting his hand settle there.
Now he was just doing whatever he could to whatever part of me wasn't clothed. And now I was doing what I could to silently protest but he wasn't paying attention. I couldn't struggle too much or else I'd vomit. If only I could. Then he'd notice! I knew he wasn't meaning to but this was scaring me. A lot! Oh! Zack! Please realize what you're doing! I stupidly made a ridiculous noise to try and prevent myself from reacting in the usual way.
That made him stop. He released me, breathed out an inaudible sentence, and then got up off the bed. Had he noticed what he'd done? I didn't move to see the expression on his face, moving was an even worse idea now. "I'll be right back." He said while walking out the door.
"Phew…" I sighed. Glad that was over. Was I bad at this or…? Zack was just teasing. He really got into it and took his teasing seriously. But… that didn't make sense. "What do I do now, Orion?"
The green bird looked away from the door and back at me. But all he did was tilt his head to the side. So I guess that meant I was supposed to do nothing. And that translated into what? It'd be pointless to nap. Zack would be back in a few minutes. And I always slept. So I guess I'd space…
"Cloud, wake up already." I heard Zack say suddenly.
"I'm not asleep." I answered. My eyes were open. I'd just been staring at the wall thinking about nothing. Although he'd taken longer than I thought he would.
"You doing better?" He asked sitting on the bed. I could tell he was leaning over when the mattress dipped. Then his hand was on my shoulder pulling me onto my back. "You don't look better." He said uncapping a potion.
"I'm not better." I replied feeling the effects of being moved.
"You'd better drink this." He pushed the vile to my lips and didn't give me much chance to protest. I had to ingest the liquid before I could say anything. But it wasn't as bad as when Kozue did it. That jerk. But no time to think about that now. Zack wasn't done apparently. He had some materia. Hmm… well… I did have a bump here and there. Okay. I suppose I could let him heal me.
It didn't take long. He only needed a moment to focus, there was a flash of dim light, and then he was done. No. Wait. He wasn't done. He grabbed my left arm and placed the materia right on the old wound. That bite was healing alright on its own. He didn't have to do that. "Wha?" I didn't notice that there was any sort of affliction until it was gone. But there had been significant irritation until now. Wow. I wonder why I'd blotted it out. As far as I knew, it'd stopped hurting after the potion Kozue had given me. Oh… Kozue… oh no. What happened to him?
I got caught up in worrying about that for a while before Zack stopped me and told me to knock it off. But how could I?
"I'm not trying to be. I just can't stop thinking about it." I answered.
"About what?" What? I looked to see Zack smiling about something. He'd obviously caught me on something. Crap! What could I tell him?! Uh… Um… "I'm waiting, Cloud." Uhh… Oh, what was the point? I didn't really feel like lying right now.
"I…" Oh man! This could mean trouble, but… "I'm worried about the man who was with me. How am I supposed to know what happened to him? He didn't exactly leave me with any reassurance." I blurted out. It was true. Kozue may have been a jerk, but he'd taken care of me. Which meant that he had a heart. So… we had a connection of some sort. I was concerned. And hopefully he was concerned too. I listened to Zack apologize about something. But I wasn't paying too much attention. "I just hope he's okay. I don't know what I'd do if he was dead." Kozue was strong but… so was Yazoo.
"What happened to Yazoo?" Zack mumbled.
"I dunno." I shrugged. "Probably dead."
"Hopefully Yazoo isn't dead." Zack answered. Was he serious? He looked serious. Gaia, he was actually serious. "I know he's on the opposing side but he doesn't deserve to die."
"Doesn't he?" An intruding voice asked. I turned around to see Vincent stepping in. H-had he been there the whole time?
"No. He doesn't." Zack responded. He sounded almost… angry. Why would Zack be so serious about something like this?
I really didn't think I should say anything. I mean I didn't want him to get mad at me but, "Wouldn't that be good for us?" I had to ask. It seemed odd that Zack didn't want to lessen the numbers of our enemies. Wasn't that something you were supposed to do?
"No." He answered. No? What was he talking about? He seemed to be rethinking that statement. Good. He wasn't crazy. "Yes." There ya' go. How could it not be good for us? "But that doesn't change anything. Dying isn't…"
"You can't possibly expect to make it through this with no deaths, Zack." Vincent interjected once again. "If you try, someone who you're trying to protect might die." His red eyes shifted from Zack and focused on me. Gaia! He was saying I was gonna die! No… I was reminded of all the things Kozue had told me. Especially the beheading bit. It made me so scared. There was actually a possibility that I would die! It wasn't a joke. It could actually happen! I started to shake I was so afraid. They were still looking at me! I tightly shut my eyes and looked away. But I could still feel their eyes on me.
"I'm aware of that." Zack snapped.
Why were they doing this?! I didn't want to hear it! I hated the thought of someone lobbing my head off! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Not a nice topic. Couldn't they talk about something else?! I hated this subject! They always made such a big deal about this guy. This all-powerful person. At least they made it seem that way. But they never told me about him. They never clued me in on anything! So what was the point of this conversation?!
"He needs to be aware of it as well. I can't treat the situation as though it doesn't concern him. He's old enough to know that his life is on the line." Old enough to…?! What was he talking about?! I was fourteen! A teenager. I was just barely mature enough to know something like that. Teenagers don't want to hear anything about death. They thought they were invincible! Didn't this guy pay attention to stereotypes?! I really wanted to shake my head and protest but…
"I wonder if that guy would've been of help to us." Zack cut in. Good! Thank you Zack! Change the subject! I owed him so much.
"Hmm?"
"Yep." I answered before Vincent could change the subject back.
Zack looked interested. But of course. I knew he meant Kozue. And I knew he wanted to know about him. But that was still something I couldn't say. "Was he powerful or something?" He asked. Well Duh! "How powerful?" I almost answered but then I shrugged. What if he could tell who it was from that? I couldn't exactly tell him that Kozue was insanely strong. Almost like SOLDIER strength! "Can't you tell me?" Zack pouted.
"No." I could not.
"Please?"
"No."
"Oh come on!" What the? Why was he whining like that?
I was confused for a second but, "No."
"Vincent, make him talk." Zack complained. I could sense he wasn't serious.
"I could but I doubt you would like the methods." The gunman answered.
After that Orion shrieked. It was strange how he seemed to understand the human language. He was so loyal it almost made me smile. But this was no time to smile. Mr. Valentine was being a little uh… scary. He looked so serious.
"I was joking." I heard Zack say in a serious tone as well.
"I was too." He was joking? That was his humor?
'He was doing it wrong' I thought as I furrowed my eyebrows. You kinda had to change your tone. Monotone humor, huh? It wasn't that funny. "Uwah?!" I gasped when Zack suddenly pulled me against him in a tight embrace.
"I don't want you to torture him until he gives us a name." Torture? What? Did I miss something?! I was gonna be tortured?! Holy crap, what was the matter with these people?! I thought we were on the same side. Why would they do that? For a name I didn't know?! Shiva! Maybe I should consider running and hiding again… No. Maybe not. It would be okay. Zack wasn't gonna let him do that. I wouldn't have to do that anymore. Zack was here.
"No. I was talking about a truth serum. But I doubt he'd like that." I heard Vincent say.
Truth serum?! No way I would like that! Zack wouldn't let him do th-
"Truth serum exists?!" Zack shouted right next to my ear. I jumped but not really because of the noise. Why did he sound like he was considering it?
"I believe they have something of the sort in Wutai. Why? Are you going to try it?"
What?! No! No way! I looked at Zack, hoping he would turn it down. But he had a blank expression.
"Uhh…" Was his only response. He had to think about it? But… if they did that… what if it worked?! How long did something like that last? What else would they ask me?!
"Any name I gave you would be worthless anyway! He kept on giving me a fake name. I knew it was bull, but he insisted it wasn't. So I don't know! I already told you that. I don't know!" Please don't force anything out of me. What if they made me tell them really embarrassing things?!
"What was the name was he using? What did he look like? Was there anything odd about him? Those are all things we'd like to know." Vincent all but sighed. But I-
"Why are you trying to protect this guy you hardly know?" Zack mused.
I owed him, didn't I? Why were they both ganging up on me like this? Was Kozue really that important? Maybe I would tell them. And they can have a good time trying to find him! He didn't matter. So he was powerful? So what? He was gone. He didn't want to be found. That was obvious. If he wanted to stick around and meet people he would have. But he had planned on ditching before they got there. He would've been long gone if it weren't for Yazoo!
"What about those other two men?" What the? When did Vincent get so close to the door? "The chocobo farmers?" Herb and Alvar?!
Zack shrugged something. But I was too focused on how bad I felt. They were really nice and I just kinda disappeared. They were probably concerned.
"Are we gonna go find them?" I asked. It was a good idea. A very good idea. I liked those guys… even though we didn't exactly meet under the best circumstances. I touched my hand to where the rock had hit me and smirked. It was the best I could do to keep from laughing.
"Where were they going?" Geez! He really liked asking questions, huh?
"I think they said… Gongaga…"
"We can't go there." Zack interrupted. We couldn't go there? Why couldn't we go there. Zaneth and Rikash probably wanted their chick back. Why would Zack be so against it? I stared at him, hoping he'd explain himself. I didn't want to hear anything along the lines of 'none of my business'. "Gongaga is my hometown. They might be there… That and I… can't face my parents right now." He said looking very saddened by something.
"That reasoning is sound." Vincent said before leaving.
"It is?" Shouldn't he not run away from his parents like that? And why would 'they' be there? That was something along the lines of 'none of my business', right? They didn't really tell me anything. Again.
"Do you like to be put into dangerous situations?" Zack asked in an odd tone. The type of tone that made you feel like they'd poked you, even when they hadn't.
"No." I wasn't an adrenaline junkie.
"Then the reasoning is sound." Zack replied. Wow. Way to be a smart ass. He must've noticed my annoyed expression because he went on to say, "Don't worry about it. You'll probably see them again." The whole while he had this kinda cheesy grin.
I couldn't help it. I caved. The grin was just so ridiculous. And he kept it up. "I really hope I run into them again. I was kinda kidnapped away from them. But who am I kidding? They probably don't even think about me anymore. But Orion isn't mine. He's their chick. And, you know, since they were looking for him and I found him… I just feel they'd want him back."
Zack nodded. Blankly. Great. He wasn't listening to me. Oh well…
Maybe… now that Vincent was gone… I could ask Zack about that moment before we were found. He didn't look like he'd care too much. Or maybe… I dunno! How could I know for sure unless I tried?! "So… uh… about… about earlier…?" When I made a complete idiot out of myself. "I uh…" What was I doing? What am I thinking?! I shouldn't think about that. "You uh… um…" I couldn't do it. What's the use? I should just stop talking. I was weird. This whole thing was weird. I kissed him! A guy! He probably wanted to forget about it. I guess I could just shut up before this got too big? Gyah! This was so confusing! I should just stop now, but now he was paying attention to me. He even looked a bit disappointed now that I'd stopped talking. But I couldn't. I just swallowed and looked down at my feet.
It wasn't too long before I felt him push me. I jumped at his touch. This was so embarrassing! But I suppose he wanted me to finish what I'd started. "Sorry, I'm nervous." I exhaled. "Earlier. When I… you know." Although he probably didn't know. "Did you mean to uh… kiss me back or… or were you just caught up in the moment?" Dammit! This was too much! I didn't have to see myself to know that my face was beet red. But it was too late. I'd already said it. Now I had to wait for the answer. I looked at him and tried not to die. He looked surprised! Oh no! Did he forget about it and then I just brought back the memory?! Ahhh! I felt myself begin to tremble. Was he gonna be angry at me?! I couldn't look at him anymore. The floor was the only thing I'd allow myself to see.
"I wasn't caught up in the moment." What?! Was he being serious? I looked back at him to make sure he was taking this seriously. It was hard to tell. He looked like he was being serious enough. But… I couldn't be sure. "I…" What? He what?! Why was he pausing now?! "To be honest I like you… a lot. But uh…"
"So…" I couldn't wait anymore. "Are we… together?" I asked gulping down what felt like my heart. That wasn't a pleasant feeling. But at least it got it out of my ear. But I'd surprised Zack again. I felt very light headed. If he didn't answer me soon I think I'd pass out.
"Only if you want to be." He answered. That didn't help me. He even did something of a laugh. I couldn't let it bother me. I had to just get all the answers I needed now. Right now.
"When you say 'like', do you really mean…?" I drew back slightly I couldn't say it!
"Love?" Zack asked.
"Yeah." I sighed feeling defeated. He knew what I was talking about.
"Yes. Yes I do." He did? He honestly l-loved me? Seriously? Why didn't he say something before? "Do you?" What?! He just totally blindsided me!
I couldn't find the words. My voice was all but gone until I bit my lip. "I… think so. But I don't really know. I'm not familiar with all this." I blurted out. I couldn't help it. There was no way I could stop this… this… word vomit. "So where do we go from here?" I asked. I was feeling a little better, but he couldn't just stay silent for another minute.
"We stay here for as long as you want I suppose." He answered. Again, that didn't help me. Why was he leaving it up to me? I wasn't reliable! I had no idea what I was doing. I felt the bed shift as he scooched closer to me. He was gonna do something? Had he noticed that I had no idea what to do? I was a little relieved that he was going to make a move. If that was what he was going to do anyways. What am I saying? I wanted a guy to make a move on me? Why did it have to be me?! Why did it have to be him?! A man! I-I-I never thought it would be true. People had made fun of me and called me a… fag before. But now it was true?! "This is… confusing." I groaned.
"What's wrong?" Zack asked. He didn't find this strange?
"I guess I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this." I replied looking back at the floor. "I'd always thought these things happened differently."
"Huh?" Zack looked confused that I was confused. Why was he so okay with this? "Is it because I'm a guy?" Well… yes… but I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't keep on getting hung up on that. I could get over it… I think. Zack was just a person. I couldn't let this bother me. I couldn't let them win. Right?
"N-No. I've gotten past that." I answered. Though lying wasn't exactly truthful. I could. Even though that really was what was bothering me. I knew it happened. People fell in love with a person of the same sex. I just never even thought it would happen to me. But I could do it. I'd be okay. I don't think he believed me but it was fine. "It just feels a little… fast. Aren't these things normally slower?"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Zack shouted suddenly. It caught my attention and made me look up. He had his hands out in front of him as though he were pushing me back. "Hold on. No one said this thing was fully developed. These things do take time. The ground work has just barely been set."
What? When he put it like that it sounded really weird. Ground work? "You make it sound like you've got everything scheduled. Do you know something I don't?" I asked. If I were paranoid I might think that he'd been manipulating me this whole time. But that was impossible.
Still, I was a little suspicious. Even though he told me, "No. What makes you say that?"
"Okay…" I sighed.
"You're holding out too." He said in a rather accusatory tone. "You said you would explain things, but now you're refusing to." What?! He was gonna go and turn it around on me now? No! I wouldn't be jerked around like this. They had to tell me something. There was Vincent going on about how mature I was and now they wouldn't tell me anything! How hypocritical.
"But -"
"Don't go making excuses." He said putting a finger to my lips. "I'm not judging you about it." He wasn't? "I'm simply making a point."
"I'm not allowed to change my mind?" I sputtered. What were they gonna do to make me talk? I couldn't get anything out of them, but I suppose I wasn't respected enough to have my own secrets?! I couldn't betray Kozue like that. What would he think if I narked on him and he got locked up? Why? Why do they want to know so badly? I'd changed the subject and then it came back to this?!
"You can change your mind." Zack replied deciding he was going to hug me. Was that supposed to make me feel better? If anything now I felt like he had trapped me. That only made me nervous. "Just be warned, if you do decide not to tell me, I will tickle you until you un-decide." He'll… tickle me? What? As if that would make me talk? Well… maybe… I hated that. It was so embarrassing. I couldn't help it. I let out a nervous noise that sounded like a laugh. At least Zack didn't hold that against me. "You don't have to say everything. Just…" Just what?
"You shouldn't be bullying me like this."
"I'm not meaning to." He said before thinking for a minute. Then said, "Don't change the subject."
"But it wasn't a big deal." I answered. That was all I could say before I was cut off by uncontrollable laughter. He was tickling me? He was actually tickling me?! I couldn't believe it. But I couldn't really stop myself from laughing either. It was hard. He was tickling my stomach of all places! I had to hold my breath to even begin to stop myself. No one had done that to me for a long time. Not that I remembered anyway. But I had to stop. I wasn't gonna give in like this because of something so stupid! After what seemed like a few minutes, he stopped.
"You okay?" He asked. "I didn't tickle you too hard, did I?" You can do that? You can hurt someone by tickling them?
"No…" I said before I tried to escape… unsuccessfully. But I had to get away. This was humiliating. "I just don't wanna tell you."
"Oh really? Don't you want to know yourself?"
"Nope." Yes! Gaia yes! But I couldn't. "I know what you're trying to do." But Zack didn't say anything. I just felt him shrug. "D-don't play innocent!" He knew exactly what I was talking about. "Just let go of me." I tried to slip out of his hold but was stopped once again. He simply held on tighter around my waist. "I'm not going to do it! I won't tell!" He gave me a warning that he'd tickle me again but I didn't care. If he did do it again I wouldn't laugh. So, "Do whatever you want. I won't become a fink!" I'd probably just kick and shout for Vincent.
"You don't need to be a fink. You just need to tell me what happened." I don't want to. That should be enough. "There were bullets everywhere so it was Yazoo."
I didn't care. I didn't want to talk about it. I just groaned and tried not to whimper pathetically. He was holding onto me so tightly. I couldn't get away. I thought I would start having flashbacks!
"Don't be like that. I'm not going to hurt you." He said softly. "So it was Yazoo?" He was gonna force me to answer really obvious questions that he already knew the answer to? Really? What was he gonna do, try to twist in a question to make me tell him about Kozue at the very end?
I paused long enough to roll my eyes before nodding. He knew it was Yazoo! "Is there anyone else after me who wields a gun?" I asked sarcastically. This was just a stupid way of trying to get me to talk.
"Did he hurt you?"
"Zack, you're making me feel like I'm filing a police report or something." I sighed. This was annoying. And I wasn't afraid to let him know how annoyed I was. I was so agitated that I just brushed off his arms and stood up. "Look, Yazoo was just trying to take me somewhere. He didn't say where. At first he threatened me, but they were kinda empty threats. Then he got mad and I thought he might kill me but he didn't get the chance."
"Why did he get angry?" Ugh! Zack! Stop it! Now he was going all school counselor on me.
I shook my head and paced. This was annoying. But I suppose I'd have to give him something if I wanted him to leave me alone about it. I paced back and forth agitatedly. Damn, he was persistent. But I still wouldn't sell Kozue out. So I'd have to give him proof that he had reason to worry. That wouldn't be so bad, right? How badly could he freak out now that it'd already passed? So I stopped pacing and stood right in front of him. It appeared that he'd been staring at the something the entire time I'd been pacing. Still, I took whatever it was I'd used as a weapon out of my pocket and handed it to him. "I stabbed him with this." That would've made anyone angry, I'm sure.
He examined it curiously and then only looked confused. "You actually got Yazoo mad?"
"It wasn't hard. All I did was give him difficulty about everything." I shrugged.
Zack nodded slightly at that. "So he tried to shoot you?" Now I nodded. This was an awkward, pointless conversation. "Am I safe to assume that it was Yazoo's blood all over the ground?"
"Uhh…" Could I say this? Was I being duped? "Some of it is from someone else."
"Okay." Zack said swinging his feet over the side of the bed. Oh no. I'd said something. "That's all you needed to say. I don't need to know anymore." I did. I'd said too much. Oh no! I fell for it! "So, anything else you'd like to talk about?"
"My answer is trying to get this stupid thing off." I sighed. I hated this thing.
Zack just shook his head. "I can't help you with that. Not without a lot of fumbling around with it and belts are in an awkward place." Even though I really wished I hadn't, I stopped and thought about it. And he was right. It was really uncomfortable when he was messing around down there trying to get it off before. But I was desperate! Now I didn't really need it to come off. Not for anything that was an emergency like that had been. Besides. Vincent told me to ask him if that happened again. Still. Zack trying to get the belt off was not a good idea. "It's just your luck, huh?" He asked.
Yeah, no kidding. My luck sucked! But what could I do to change it? I started to pace again to think about it when I felt something tighten around my neck. It came so suddenly it kinda gagged me. I turned slightly to see Zack pulling on one of the ribbons around my neck. I furrowed my eyebrows and opened my mouth to yell at him but then he started pulling the ribbon so hard he was pulling me backwards! "Hey!" That wasn't fair! That jerk! "What are you doing, Zack?" I asked a little frantically.
"I just want you closer to me." He answered with a really dorky smile. I couldn't get away now. He'd already pulled me back against him and had his arms around me. What was he going to do now? "What's the date today?" He asked. Wow… did he have A.D.D. or something? Oh well. Better just answer his question.
"It's…" What was the date? I couldn't think of it. When was the last time I'd looked at a calendar? "I think it's… the fifth?" I answered. But I couldn't be sure.
With that he pulled the ribbons so that I laid back onto the bed and then he got up. What? What was that all about? He just left me here? What was with this? I was so confused. What did he want from me? Why stop me from pacing? I was thinking. Although… I suppose I could think right here. But I was just so restless. Laying here wasn't satisfying me. I was jittery for some reason. There was just so much to think about. Some things I didn't really want to go over again. I'd obsessed about them too much, but… my life was so messed up right now. What did I do to deserve this? I wanted Zack to come back. What was he even doing? Talking to Vincent? What could they be talking about? I just sighed and put my arms behind my head. Staring at the ceiling wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. Not for long anyway. It kinda helped me space out. It was so… bright. Even though there wasn't much light in here, the ceiling was so white. With a crack here and there in the pasty plaster. I was hardly doing anything but I was still so awake. And now I was bored. At least I wasn't jittery anymore. Auugggh. Where was Zack?
Still talking out in the hall?
"Pff!" I huffed. What was he doing? Was he just gonna ignore me now that he had me? Game over? Time to restart? Was he one of those guys who was only in it for the chase? No. What was I thinking? Zack wasn't like that. I mean he looked different, but he wasn't different. Of course I'd only met him a couple times before all of this. He'd had a bit of a softer appearance back then. Why had that changed? I heard him enter back into the room kinda quietly. Hmm… "Hey Zack?" I asked. He froze in his tracks as though I'd taken him by surprise. Must've broken his focus on something. Or maybe not. He was staring into my eyes for some reason. "Why did you change your hair?" I asked to make him stop. But now he was confused. "I liked you with bangs." I added to help lighten the confusion. It didn't work.
"What?" He asked. I watched him as he thought about what I'd said. He looked down at first, narrowed his eyes, then looked up and furrowed his eyebrows. Apparently the thought upset him.
"Just a thought." I said while sitting up and stretching. He still looked confused. "You looked like you were all worked up about something. You don't need to be. It was just a thought." I answered. "You looked gentler with bangs, that's all." But if he was going to get offended by the suggestion he didn't have to do anything.
"I scare you like this?" He asked gesturing to his head.
"No. You don't scare me like this…" I said thinking about it. He looked different from before, true. But he was fine looking like this. What with his long, spiky hair, and the one very pointy strand hanging down in front. Not to mention the 'X' shaped scar. He looked very pointy, but that wasn't bad. "I'm not scared."
"You're not scared." Zack said with a nod.
This conversation suddenly felt as though it was going to go nowhere. "Gyah! Forget it!" It was too hard to talk to him. I wasn't even trying to have a serious conversation and he still managed to mess it up. It wasn't as though it were his fault. It was my fault. He made me feel so… so… uh… to be honest I had no idea how he made me feel. This was all something new to me.
"You're the one who brought it up." He laughed as he sat down next to me. He needed to stop laughing. It didn't really make me feel good. This I could identify as embarrassment. Something he'd been making me feel a lot in the past few hours. "Just goes to show you that random thoughts can be very dangerous things." He said ruffling my hair. That felt funny. Why did that feel so familiar…?
"Cloud?!" Zack shouted while shaking me. Whoa! What just happened?!
"What?" I asked feeling a bit hazy. That was a trip. Where did I just go?! What the?! "Ohh…" I put a hand to my head. I still felt dizzy. What just happened? Something was on my shoulders… I shook whatever it was off without even looking and tried not to fall backwards. Must've been some weird blood pressure problem. Weird. I hadn't even stood up.
"You… but you… uh." Zack stammered. What was wrong with him? He just shook his head and shrugged it off. Good. He slowly raised his hand above my head. The whole while staring at me. I followed his hand up before it went above my head. He didn't look like he wanted me to move. But I soon felt it hovering just above my hair even though he wasn't even touching me. What was he doing? I couldn't follow anything he was doing. Not even when he poked one of my spikes. Why was he doing that? He wasn't saying anything at all. It was kinda freaking me out. I considered scurrying away but then his hand actually touched my head and he ruffled my hair. A bit cautiously at first, but then he started to do it harder. Almost too hard. Then he was just downright rough. Ouch! My scalp…
"Zack stop." I said grabbing onto his wrist. "It's starting to hurt." Yeow! Why did he do that? I think he apologized but I was too focused on my aching head. "What were you trying to do? Pull my hair out?" I put my hands on top of my head to prevent him from doing it again. That, and the slight pressure helped. Man that burned. "Zack?" I asked. He was blank. What was he thinking about? "Zack you're spacing again." I mumbled.
What happened next was something unexpected. He suddenly started getting very close to me. It wasn't bad or freaky because he was smiling as he did. He just wasn't saying anything. That was what made it uncomfortable. So I backed away; hoping he'd take the hint. Sadly, he did not. He just kept on coming closer and closer. And I kept on moving back further and further until there was nowhere left to go. Eventually I felt my back hit the head-board, but he was still moving. "What?" I asked; still trying to get him to stop, I slumped down onto the pillow and kept pushing back as far as I could. Why was he doing this all of the sudden? What was he gonna do? I couldn't think of anything except something that was gonna hurt. Did I make him angry?! "No, no, no, no, no…!" I shouted shaking my head. "I'm sorry." I had no idea what I did but I was sorry. Why was I so bad at this?! He was only trying to get close to me, I knew that. But… whenever he did this I had flashbacks! I couldn't help it.
"You don't have to be sorry." Zack said backing away and sitting back on the edge of the bed. Was he blaming himself?! No! He couldn't do that. It was me. This was my fault, my problem, no one else's. I couldn't let him blame himself.
"No. I do." I replied sitting up. "I know you're not trying to do it but I can't help but feel wrong." Dammit! I was so wrong for this! I brought my knees up to my chest. This was such an awkward uncomfortable moment. I didn't want to say anymore but, "I…" Should I say it? "I don't like feeling trapped." I suppose I should explain. It wasn't a good feeling to know that you had no options left. "I don't like the feeling that goes along with it." I went on. "The feeling that there's no way out. The end of the line." Almost all my life I'd been pushed around and forced into the corner by people. I could never understand it but people just refused to accept my existence for whatever reason. So, naturally, I never felt safe when my back was against the wall. Usually when that happened I got abused… in one way or another. I especially didn't like it when I was stuck on the flat of my back.
"It's okay." He sighed looking the opposite. Actually, he looked kinda frustrated if you asked me. It only made me feel worse.
"You're really okay?" I asked. Just to be sure.
"Yeah." Came the expected reply. Of course he wouldn't tell me. He was probably really upset. "Just know that I'm not trapping you." I did know that. It didn't help much. I had to find a way to beat these accursed flashbacks. All of them at the barracks hadn't even done that much. I hadn't been with Shinra for very long but every day was hell. "If you feel smothered, I'll let up. You've got to be comfortable in this too. I'm not only trying to take care of me." Hopefully not. If he was I wouldn't let him come near me. I would've avoided him actually.
"I know." I nodded. He didn't act like a selfish guy. And he didn't seem like the deceptive type either. If he had been I'd be really upset. But… how would I know if he was? If he was deceiving me right now he was really good at it. So I wouldn't know, right?
I felt him move across the bed so that he was sitting next to me. But he wasn't in such a position that he was practically pinning me down, like before. That was good. I felt okay with this. And he slowly put his arms around me, apparently he was being cautious. He didn't have to do that. I really liked it when he did that. He felt strong. Very strong. This was nice. I loved it. I kinda knew how I felt now, I loved him. Kozue was right. But I wasn't going to let him know that at the point when he'd asked. What would he do if I ever ran into him again? I really hoped I didn't. Well… I did. But I didn't want to see anything bad happen. And then there was the part of me that actually was a little curious about what Zack would do. Was I worrying for nothing? If I was, what would happen? "You're okay." I heard Zack whisper into my ear. He held me closer and started to rock back and forth. It felt so good that I unconsciously snuggled into his shoulder. All my previous thoughts just melted away. Whoa… wait! I didn't want to fall asleep. He'd have to talk to me. Zack, quick! Speak! "There's no pressure." Oh thank the planet. "I'll just have to warn you next time." Yes. Warning me was good.
"That might help…" I mumbled into his shoulder. I didn't really want to move right now.
"Alright." He answered.
We stayed like that for a while, chatting about things so that I wouldn't fall asleep and everything seemed so great. That is until my stomach made a funny a noise and churned unexpectedly. "Oh no!" I gasped pulling away from Zack and covering my mouth. He looked concerned, but shouldn't he know? This was very sudden and very unpleasant.
"Are you okay?" He asked. What kind of question was that?
I tried to answer but found myself unable to talk without burping. I had to keep my hand where it was and put the other on my stomach. Would he get it then?
"Did the potion wear off?" That kind of question allowed me to nod at least. "Oh. Hang on. I've got something better." He said reaching in his pocket for something. What was he gonna do? "Here ya' go." He said holding up an elixir. What?! More of that gunk?
"I don't want it." I mumbled.
"Cloud, please." He pouted. "You need to take something. I don't want you to suffer."
Didn't want me to suffer? Elixir was some strong stuff! I'd never taken it before. I had no idea how it would effect me. I stared at it questioningly. This was a bit of a decision. "No." I decided.
"C'mon." He begged.
I shook my head. I just couldn't. Even though I hated this sickness. I'd take another potion but nothing else. It wasn't in my comfort zone. "I'm sorry. I can't."
"Yes you can." He argued, still pouting. "It won't hurt you." I still had to refuse. "Don't be a child, Cloud." What was that supposed to mean? "You have to take something. This will only last longer than a potion." Well… I still didn't know. But if Zack was so sure it wasn't gonna hurt me… maybe I could give it a try? I tried reaching for it but something in the back of my mind made me pull my arm back. Zack looked disappointed. "Please?" Zack asked again. I didn't really respond. What could I say? I mean this was ridiculous. He was only trying to help me. And… now he uncapped it before holding it in front of me. I didn't swat it away. Nor did I take it. I just stared at it. "Come on, Cloud." He said in a joking tone. Then he brought it closer to my lips. "I'm going to give it to you." He warned. I didn't say or do anything in response. Obviously I wasn't going to let myself take it, so I'd try letting him give it to me again. When the vile came into contact with my mouth I drank it. Easily. "Better?" He asked.
"Better." Much better. And now for some reason my heart was racing. Zack had leaned in to give it to me. His face was so close to mine. I felt myself become red in the face so fast it made me feel dizzy. And the feeling only got worse when he leaned in closer. Our noses were practically touching. And he was still getting closer. I felt so flustered. What was I supposed to do? His lips were ghosting over mine and then-
"Is everything okay in here?" Someone asked from the door.
"Ah! Nothing!" I gasped.
Zack instantly backed away and turned to look at whoever had just barged in. I looked past him expecting to see Vincent. But… it wasn't just Vincent. Tifa was there too!
(A/N) Yeah… This took a while to come out so I added a little bonus thingy at the end. And sorry about the moment being ruined at the end but there is a schedule and Zack has to wait. I know that was really evil but I was going for kinda funny. But mostly evil. So I think I got what I was going for. I'm sorry again. I know I wanted to get this one out earlier than the last one but what can I do about viruses? I've realized I've been getting these out slower and slower but I don't intend to stop. So… please don't give up on me. I'm not dead.