For a moment, nothing happened. Arthur stared at the French robot in horror, the French robot gazed lovingly at Arthur, and Kiku tried to discreetly leave.

"Kiku?" Arthur called calmly, with a dangerous tone in his voice.

"Yes, Arthur-kun?" Kiku asked anxiously.

"What the bloody hell is this?" He pointed at the android, who looked curiously at his finger.

"I, err-"

"I am Francis. It is a pleasure to meet you, Arthurkun," the android declared, taking Arthur's hand and kissing it. Arthur snatched his hand back with a red face.

"M- My name is Arthur. Ar-thu- Oh, why am I teaching a sodding robot my name? Kiku, why is it French?" If looks could kill, Kiku knew in his heart that he would have died a thousand excruciatingly painful deaths as Arthur whipped his head round and glowered at him.

"There's been a terrible mistake. It seems that two orders must have been mixed up."

Half way across the world, a young woman named Chelle was dialling a hotline after her newly delivered tall, dark and handsome android started talking in an impeccable British accent.

"If you give me five minutes, I'll contact my colleague and see what we can do. In the mean time, you should get to know Francis-san, and read the manual." Kiku took a rather fancy phone from his trouser pocket, said something to it, then held it up to his ear. Within seconds, he was babbling away in rapid Japanese. Arthur was rather baffled by technology, including this strange robot who was still smiling at him from his box.

"You can get out of the crate, if you'd like," Arthur grumbled. Francis' smile grew, and he stepped out of the box. Arthur could now see Francis without the confines of the wooden crate, and he had to admit, his voice really was the only problem. The deep, cerulean eyes surveyed Arthur's living room curiously. Arthur took the thin manual from the crate, and looked back at Francis, whose attention had turned to admiring Arthur, who could feel his face burning. "D-don't look at me like that!" He snapped.

He sat on the sofa, and read the front of the booklet. 'Sugiyaki Group Companion Android Beta Instructions and Operations Booklet.' Arthur glanced up at Francis, who was still standing. "You can sit down, you know," Arthur grumbled, as he flipped the booklet open. Francis grinned, and sat down next to Arthur. Right next to him. Arthur jumped at the sudden contact, and glared at Francis. "Not that close!" He felt a pang of guilt as Francis' face fell, and he shuffled away.

"Je suis desole. I think you're beautiful." Arthur's eyes widened and he stared in shock at Francis, before quickly busying himself with the instructions.

'The Sugiyaki Group would like to thank you for volunteering for the beta testing stage of the Companion Android product.' "And so I should bloody think so," Arthur muttered to himself. 'Product activation requires contact from the user, thus, in order to 'wake up' your product, you must kiss their lips.' Arthur shuddered. "Upon awakening, your product will act cordially towards you. You must spend a few days with the product so it may collect information about you, and build its personality around yours, in order to be a perfect match. After a short time, your products personality will be fully formed." Arthur glanced at the robot next to him, who was sitting looking around the room cheerfully, before he caught Arthurs gaze. His grin broadened. 'Well, at least he won't be like this for long... If he stays.' Arthur thought.

Kiku's phone call ended and he turned to face Arthur.

"I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, Arthur-kun, but I'm unable to return the android. It can be picked up in six weeks, a-"

"Six weeks?" Arthur cried. "Why can't you take it back now?"

"Paperwork and processing," Kiku explained apologetically. "I'm afraid you'll have to get acquainted with him. Once we've returned him, we could perform the necessary adjustments and take him back, if you'd like." Arthur grunted an irritated reply. "Do you have any more questions?"

Arthur thought for a moment before a question came to him.

"What fuels him? Do I need to charge his batteries or something?"

"Did you read the manual?" Kiku asked. Arthur shrugged.

"I skimmed it..."

"I see. Well, during the day, the android will need to eat food, about as much as you. Then, when it goes into sleep mode, the generator inside can process the food into energy." Arthur raised an eyebrow, but shrugged.

"Okay then." Kiku smiled.

"Anyway, I have to leave. The only reason I could deliver this personally was because I have to attend a meeting in London, and I have to catch my train."

Arthur and Kiku said their goodbyes, and once the Japanese man had left, Arthur turned to look at Francis, who was still sitting on the sofa wearing that stupid smile.

"I suppose I should make us some dinner then?" Arthur sighed.

"Would you like some help?" Francis asked, desperate to interact with Arthur.

"No thanks, just amuse yourself for a while." Arthur went into the kitchen, followed by Francis' eyes.

Francis sat quietly, listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen; the clanging of pots, the dull thud of knives on the cutting board, the... curses that Arthur was muttering to himself? Something told Francis that he would enjoy the smell of cooking, so he inhaled deeply, and found that it was a rather putrid smell that he didn't like at all.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang, and a lot of cursing. A siren started to sound, and Arthur came storming into the room to open the front door. Francis looked behind him to see a lot of black smoke coming from the kitchen. The smoke quickly subsided, and the siren died. Arthur shut the door and started to put on his shoes and coat.

"Arthur? What happened to cooki-"

"Sod it! We're going to the pub!"