Fighting Back

Chapter 27

Nicole felt a hand round her neck, her hands instantly started fighting. "Nicky...Nicky it's me calm down it's..." Nicole finally opened her eyes. As she focused on the blonde hair man kneeling beside her she felt her whole body warm, she was safe.

"Koz." She spoke breathlessly.

"Yeah." He smiled at her before wrapping his arms around her and scooping her up bridal style. Nicole instinctively curled her body into him as she buried her head into the crook of his neck, the smell of him comforting her slightly.

"You take her back we'll deal this." Tig said.

"I'll send some backup." Kozik nodded before leaving.

He carried her to the van carefully placing her in the passenger seat. He watched as she pulled her knees to her chest, Kozik couldn't help but feel angry. Even though he knew both the men inside were dead he wanted nothing more than to go back inside and slit both their throats.

His eyes scanned over her again, her white shorts and top were covered in so much blood it was sickening. He couldn't bare to look at her tarnished skin anymore so he unzipped his hooded jumper and wrapped it around her.

Nicole barely acknowledged Kozik as he wrapped the jumper around her, all she kept thinking about was the look on Salazar's face as the bullet she fired lodged into his head. She had never taken a life before, well not under these circumstances Michael was an accident, this kill she meant.

The ride back to the clubhouse was driven in complete silence. Kozik had tried a couple of times to try and ask her if she was okay but Nicole only answered with a simple nod. After several times of asking her and getting no response he finally gave up.

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Tig made a call to Piney who was now back at the clubhouse, to inform him that Kozik was on his way back with Nicole and to make sure Tara was on hand.

Piney didn't like the sound of that if they needed Tara then that meant Nicole was hurt. Leaving the bar he went to the room Lyla had been occupying as that was the last place he had seen Tara. Pushing open the already ajar door he saw Tara sitting on the bed reading a story to the children while Lyla sat next to Ellie, her arm slung around her shoulder.

"Tara..." Tara's head left the book as she turned to look at Piney. She knew by the look on his face that he didn't come to the room for a friendly chat something was wrong.

"They've found her." Piney nodded. "I'll get my bag." Piney nodded then headed back to the bar.

Tara closed the book, said her goodbyes to Ellie who was the only child who was still awake, before she went to grab her bag from Jax's room. As she came back out she bumped into Lyla who was waiting outside her door.

"I want to help."

"I'm not sure what we're going to be dealing with but I'm sure Nicole would like you there."

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As soon as Kozik parked up Nicole's hand went for the door. Her legs were hanging out over the edge of the seat and was just about to exit when she felt him touch her hand that was still resting on the seat. She looked back at him.

"You sure your okay?"

"Not really." He gave her a tight lipped smile as he let his thumb rub over her hand before she pulled away from him.

Nicole started walking towards the clubhouse but as she got closer she felt her chest tighten, she was unsure what would be waiting for her inside. She didn't want to speak to anyone didn't want to sit there as they stared at her with sad eyes feeling sorry for her, treating her like a victim. After weeks of dwelling and feeling sorry for herself believing she was a victim, tonight had changed that.

Taking a deep breath she took the final steps into the clubhouse. Just like she had predicted all eyes landed on her. Their eyes showing a mixture of shock and sadness. In some ways she couldn't blame them, she must have looked terrible.

"Jesus..."

"I'm okay Piney it's not my blood." Nicole said reassuring him.

"Come lets get you..." Nicole raised her hand stopping Tara who was advancing towards her.

"No..I'm okay I just need a shower."

"Nic I need..."

"I know and you can after but right now I need a shower." Nicole didn't give anyone a chance to argue with her decision.

They all watched her disappear down the hallway before turning back around to look at Kozik.

"What the hell happened?" Piney questioned making Kozik shake his head.

"I'll get us some drinks." Lyla went behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of the top shelf Whiskey and enough shot glasses for everyone.

"Where are the Prospects?"

"Here." Kozik spun around as Miles and Phil walked inside.

"Good." Kozik pulled out a piece of paper from his jean pocket before handing it to Miles. "I need you to go to this address. Take the van."

"Sure, but why?"

"Becuase I told you so." Kozik snapped harshly he really didn't have time for this shit. Judging that Kozik was in no mood to be messed with Phil grabbed Miles arm and started to drag him out of the clubhouse. "Hey." Kozik shouted making them both turn around. "No Cuts."

Kozik turned his attention back towards Piney who he could tell was waiting for his answer. Hearing a glass scrape along the wooden bar he turned to face Lyla, winking at her as he downed the drink before he started.

"It was bad Piney. I don't think I've seen so much blood. And Nic was right in the middle of it." He tilted his head to Lyla indicating that he needed another shot.

"If the blood wasn't hers who's was it."

"Salazar and Zobelle's guy." He could see their confusion. "They were both dead in the kitchen. Zobelle's guy was stabbed to death looks like someone turned him into a god damn pin cushion. Salazar took a bullet to the head."

"Who di..."Tara started but when she looked at Kozik she had her answer. "Nicole." Kozik just shrugged. It looked like she had taken both of them out but he couldn't be sure. "Oh my god." Tara's hand went to cover her mouth.

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Nicole walked towards Jax's dorm room but as she opened the door she saw all of Tara's stuff on the bed, it was obvious that she had been staying in there. Backing out the room she went to find herself another place to stay. Standing in the hall she looked up and down trying to decided where she should stay but as her eyes landed on the door next to the bathroom she knew she'd found her answer.

Walking into his room she headed straight towards the bathroom where she started stripping off her clothes. She was shocked to see how much blood was on her clothes the whites shorts and camisole were now crimson red, even the jumper Kozik had given her had dark stains on the inside. She ran her hands through her hair as Salazar's face raced through her mind again.

Placing her hand underneath the running water she decided it was at the right temperature before she stepped underneath the spray.

She hoped that the shower would help her, help wash away everything from the past few days, but as she watched the red water run down the drain she realised it wasn't working in fact it was making her was. Her whole body was stinging.

She grabbed the soap and scrubbed away at her body as she finally let her tears escape. Nicole let herself cry till she felt she had it all out because this was going to be the only time she would allow herself to cry over this again.

15 minutes later after she was all cried out she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, as she did she came face to face with her own reflection.

Wrapping the towel around herself and one around her hair she left the bathroom not wanting to look at herself any longer. As she passed the chair she saw one of Happy's Samcro t-shirts. She pulled it from the chair before walking over to the bed. She untwisted the towel from her hair roughly drying it before discarding the towel to the floor. She was about pull on his t-shirt when she heard a light knocking on the door.

"Yeah" Nicole said.

"Hey." Tara said as she walked inside carrying her doctors bag. Nicole knew she had come to check on her, she might as well get it over with. "You oka.."

"I'm fine." She knew they were just being caring but them two words were really starting to annoy her. "How did you know I was in here?"

"Well when I couldn't find you in Jax's room Lyla said to try here." Nicole smiled as she was reminded of the conversation her and Lyla had at the hospital.

"Right well you better come in because I know your not going to leave until you give me the once over doc so we might as well get this over with."

"Yeap." Nicole sat on the bed as Tara knelt in front of her. Nicole watched as Tara went into doctor mode and started assessing her injures. "Who ever patched your bullet wound they did a good job."

"That's one thing I guess."

"Sorry didn't..."

"It's okay T." She smiled but Nicole knew it was a fake smile.

"I'll just have to change the dressing, you need a couple of butterfly stitches above your eye and your going to have a lot of bruising but apart from that.."

"I should be fine?"

"In theory."

"I'll be fine T. Your okay right?" Tara looked up from her medical bag and at Nicole. "I mean you..." Nicole's eyes went from the bruise that was on the side of Tara's head from where Ryan had hit her to her stomach.

"I'm good. Me and the Baby." Tara's hand went to her own stomach as she mentioned the baby. For a week now they had both known that he other knew about it but this was the first time they had spoken about it. Nicole stretched out her hand resting it on top of Tara's hand that was still resting on her stomach.

"Good. You know this will make him the happiest man alive."

"I don't know about that." Nicole could hear the sadness in her voice and just as Tara removed her hand Nicole took hold of it.

"Trust me when he comes back with Abel, which he will. He will have put all this bullshit behind him. I know you and I haven't always see eye to eye and i'm sure we'll clash a million more times in the future. But i'll tell you this now I have only ever gotten angry with you because whether you believe it or not my cousin loves you with all his heart, your his one and only true love and your actions no matter how small affect him. So when you hurt him whether its intentional or not he hurts, and he hurts hard so that's why I get angry with you, it's never been because I hate you."

"I understand."

"Good."

"Nic..." Knowing she was about to ask questions that she didn't want to answer she cut her off.

"I'm really tired T. Can you just patch me up so I can sleep."

"Sure."

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Tara had respected her wishes and finished patching her up in almost complete silence. When she left the room Nicole removed her towel and pulled on Happy t-shirt.

Sliding beneath the sheets that were still messed up for their morning of no strings attached fun a few days ago. Nicole inhaled deeply letting his scent calm her. She felt her heavy eyes finally start to close and within minutes she fell asleep.

Nicole started thrashing in her sleep as she relieved Salazar's last moments. She could feel his hands around her throat as he tried to strangle the life at of her.

Her mind fast forwarded to when her hand found the gun, the first shot echoing through her mind and as her finger eased down on the trigger again Nicole shot up.

She ran her hand through her hair that was now damp, just like the rest of her body. Nicole looked at the digital clock on the bedside table it now read 4.30am. Flipping back the sweat covered sheets she walked over to his dresser and pulled open the draw as she pulled out another t-shirt. Changing quickly she headed to the bar.

She was glad when she saw that the bar was completely empty. Walking around the bar she looked over the selection of drinks before finally settling on a bottle of Tequila. Pulling the bottle from the shelf she walked over to the stack of CDs, she took a swig from the bottle wincing slightly as the liquid burned down her throat. As she flicked through the selection of CDs she smiled to herself when she came across one of her old favourites, she was shocked that it was still there she hadn't listened to it since she was about 18. She pulled the CD Dummy by Portishead out of the case and inserted into the CD player. Pressing the random button she lowered the volume so she wouldn't wake everyone but just enough so she could still enjoy the music. She walked around the bar taking a seat on the nearest stool.

She just sat there drinking and listening to the music. Smiling with the memories, when she was 16 she listened to this album non stop driving all the guys crazy. 'She's nothing but a whiny chick.' Tig used to say but Nicole always used to defend them because she loved them in her teenage mind she related to everything they were signing about. She lost count the amount of times she had to stop them from snapping the CD in half. She took another swig and almost choked when she heard a voice behind her.

"What did I tell you about drinking alone." Nicole spun round in her chair and saw kozik approaching, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He was dressed in a pair of light blue baggy jeans and a sleeveless flannel shirt that was left unbuttoned, really she didn't know why he bothered wearing a shirt.

"That it was good." She replied as cutely as she could. Kozik shook his head as he grabbed himself a glass before taking the stool next to her. Nicole poured him a drink. "I didn't want to wake anyone." She said honestly.

"That's what were here for Nic." He watched as she nodded before taking a hit from the bottle. "Why do I know this song?"

Nicole smiled. The song he was talking about was called Roads and it was her favourite as soon as it finished she used to flick it back and listen to again and again and again.

"I must have played this song a million times."

"You're shitting me it's that whiny chick."

"Her names Beth Gibbons and the girl knows what she's talking about."

"That's a matter of opinion." They both laughed as they drank some more. He could tell that Nicole wanted to ask him something she could see it in her eyes.

"What?"

"How..how did you find me?" Kozik rubbed his hand over his chin. He had hoped that they wouldn't have to go this road but it seemed like he had no choice.

"Ryan."

"But Ryan was dead I saw Andy shoot him."

"He survived, told us the Intel we needed then..."

"Then what?" He knew the look in his eyes she had seen it many times when she had asked Jax or Clay a question they knew she wouldn't like the answer to. "You killed him."

"There was no choice Nicky. He may have come here to warn you, protect you but his death warrant was signed the day he first lay hands on you." Kozik placed his hand on top of hers that was resting on the bar. "Nic.."

"No i'm okay I get it, I just feel weird."

"Why?"

"He's controlled my life for so long. Deep down I always thought my way out from would be the day he killed me but...but now he's dead...I just."

Kozik stood up and closed the gap between them, his hand squeezing hers tightly as his other hand went to her face where he moved a stray piece of hair. Nicole looked up at him when she felt his hand slide down her face to cup her cheek.

"Well I'm glad its him and not you. No one's gonna hurt any more your free." He pulled her from her seat pulling her against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist.

Nicole inhaled deeply, she loved how the smell of these bikers could just ease her into a feeling of safety. She loved them all dearly but at the same time she knew she had to be carefully and she realised that now was one of those times.

She pulled her head from his chest and that's when she saw the look, the look she had seen when she was 16 just before he carried her in a fireman's lift into his dorm room.

"Koz..." And that when he did the exact thing that she had to be careful about, he leant down and tried to kiss her. As she felt his lips brush hers before she pulled back creating some distance between them. Her hand pushing against his chest. "I can't, sorry."

Pulling herself free from his grasp she turned on her heels and started heading back to Happy's room but stopped when she heard Kozik speak.

"It won't work you know. He ain't that guy." Nicole looked over her shoulder at Kozik. Her brows furrowed in confusion, Kozik pointed to the t-shirt she was wearing. Nicole looked down at the samcro t-shirt quickly realizing who he was talking about Nicole looked back at Kozik, but she didn't say anything instead she headed straight to Happy's dorm.

She slid down the back of the door. This was the last thing she wanted. When she felt his lips touch hers she wanted to kiss him back but she couldn't because of Happy. She didn't have feelings for Happy because that would be ridiculous. They were friends maybe it was a bit twisted but definitely a friendship and there was defiantly no deep and meaningful feelings, he's Happy and Kozik was right he ain't that guy right?

No she pulled away because fooling around with two sons at the same was a big no no unless your a sweetbutt. Nicole just hoped that Kozik kept his little comments about herself and Happy to himself until she figured out what she was going to do.