Losing my Religion

Part 2

Three days later on Monday morning found Bon sitting back in math class. The instructor was handing back the corrected math exams from last time.

"Anyone who didn't make a grade of at least 50% on this test must come in a half hour early to write a make-up one next class," she announced. At this, Bon noticed Rin's shoulders sag and shaggy mop of hair fall forward as his chin dropped slightly.

Some minutes later class was dismissed and Bon slowly made to gather up his books and leave. As he passed the desk two seats up and one over, he glanced at the student still sitting there with his head hung low. [Even Shiemi had left at this point] The graded paper sat on top the desk still as well. That sure was a lot of red ink on it.

"So how'd you do on the test?" Bon asked lowly, though the answer to that was already clear. Rin didn't even bother to lift his head and look up at the boy. "How do you think, Suguro?" he spat acidly. "Go ahead and make fun of me if you want, I don't care," then followed.

Poor Rin, he really did look dejected like that. Bon thought carefully about what to say next. "I could help you study for the make-up exam if you want," he said in an off-hand manner. Wait! He hadn't thought to say that. He'd thought only just enough to decide even he, Suguro Ryuji, shouldn't kick Okumura Rin while he was already down. But to actually help him study? Ugh, troublesome.

Big blue eyes peered up at him now. "You would do that? For me?" Rin asked skeptically, though a hint of hope shone in those baby blues of his.

Bon swallowed a nervous lump in his throat at that look. "Sure why not? We're friends aren't we?" Rin still eyed him suspiciously. Exasperated under the scrutiny of those eyes, Bon threw his hands up.

"Well you could just fail it again then if that suits you!"

Suddenly Rin's face changed expression. "No no no!" He grabbed at the other's arm. "I can't fail!"

Hmmm, reverse psychology. Didn't that kind of stuff only work on children? "OK then, wanna meet me after cram school this evening?" Rin nodded vigorously.

As the day wore on Bon found himself becoming nervous about the little study session he'd arranged for that evening. He'd never tutored anyone before, and he didn't actually study all that much himself. He was one of those lucky bastards that could memorize things after reading them only once. What if he couldn't help Rin learn anything?

Sheesh. Calm down, he thought to himself. If he couldn't teach Rin anything then oh well. The idiot didn't know anything anyways so he'd be no further behind. It shouldn't be any of Bon's concern...Though he found it kind of was still because that nervous feeling didn't leave him throughout even cram school, where he didn't do much besides stare at the back of Rin's head.

As soon as Yukio dismissed the students from class, Rin was right up in his face before he could even put his textbooks in his bag. "You didn't forgot you said you'd help me with math tonight, right Bon?" He leaned over the top of the desk with both hands planted upon it, his nose less than ten inches from Bon's. The now tutor leaned back a bit in his chair to preserve some personal space. He felt a small heat rise to his cheeks at his nickname coming from those lips. In a split second he thought maybe he should remind Rin he hadn't been given the privilege to call him that yet, but they were friends now and all his other friends called him Bon...

Speaking of other friends; both Konekomaru and Shima were starring at him from either seat beside him. Bon's cheeks became a bit hotter still. Deciding not to make eye contact with either of the two boys, in case his whole face burst into flame, he simply said, "Of course not," then made to exit the class with a goodbye wave to his two friends. Rin followed him out the door.

"We can study at my dorm. Yukio's on a mission tonight so it'll be empty, kay Bon?" Rin said once they were in the hall.

Ugh, there was that flutter in his stomach again. Seriously, what the hell?

Rin looked up at his stone-faced classmate when he didn't reply. "Just follow me," he sighed. Bon usually wore a sour look anyways so he didn't think anything of it and his quietness.

Back at the decrepit old dorm, Rin protested studying at the kitchen table because the chairs were just too hard, so the tutor found himself in the bedroom shared by the Okumura twins. If the entire dorm was empty, why did the two share a room anyways? But an even more pressing question was why did Bon feel so nervous about being in the bedroom? With Rin. Alone.

Despite the hot feeling on the back of his neck and the tightness in his throat, Bon managed to help the other teen work through a few math problems. Now Rin lay stomach down on his bunk, tail lazily flicking back and forth, as he chewed his pencil and concentrated on getting through an entire lesson of math questions.

The teen with the dyed hair sat on the floor, his back against Yukio's bunk, a textbook on occult herbs and medicines open on his lap. Every so often brown eyes would peer up from underneath blonde bangs to catch a peek at the swishing tail and its owner. He really wasn't even sure what page the textbook was open to since he was actually sneaking looks more than reading.

Bon had opted to keep any pins or ties out of his hair that evening. He wouldn't admit to anyone but himself though that it was because the bangs falling over his eyes were good cover if he wanted to watch Rin. The boy on the bed, however, had his blue-black hair pulled back from his face with the very same clip Bon had given him ages ago. A tiny smile played at the taller boy's lips over this. Rin looked pretty damn cute wearing the little barrette.

...! Did he really just think that?

Sure, he'd never thought Rin was ugly, or thought anything else about his looks for that matter, but cute? Bon took a moment to let his eyes rake over the other teen, completely forgetting to try and make it not obvious. Yes, he decided, Rin was definitely cute. The way his little nose wrinkled in concentration, how his long lashes fanned out over his big shocking blue eyes, the stretching of his lean muscles as he shifted the weight held up by his elbows. Even the damned tail, that should've been abhorrent looking on a human, had Bon mesmerized with the way it flicked about playfully. He felt a pleasant warmth stir in his core.

Lucky for him Rin was too busy working away to notice his blatant staring. It was practically a miracle that he was able to concentrate so fully on homework for such an extended time as twenty whole minutes! Bon must be a saint of a tutor.

A saint.

Something clicked in his mind at that. What the hell had he just been thinking? Son of the very high priest of Myouou Dharani, perfect scholarship student, bad-ass looking Suguro Ryuji; crushing over the son of Satan! It was all very very wrong.

Suddenly, feeling as if he were some kind of dirty, Bon tore his gaze from the other's form. He had to get out of there. Away from Rin where he could think this through. He stood abruptly and walked the three steps to cross the small room. Roughly he grabbed Rin's tail, and attention, giving it a pretty good yank to vent his frustrations. "Hey! Aren't you finished yet? What's taking you so long, idiot?

"OW! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Rin screamed at him in surprise. [Where the hell had this come from?] Flipping over quickly he desperately tried to snatch his own tail back from the jerk's grasp. Far too amused by that reaction, Bon smirked and tightened his grip a fraction.

"That fucking hurts you ape! LET GO!" blue eyes blazed with fury at the youth standing over him. Bon just snickered a little because as angry as Rin sounded it also seemed as if he could do no harm against him at this point. Otherwise his nose would've already been broken. Or worse.

"A little weakness of yours, eh?" Bon laughed. It felt good to have power over Rin in this moment. Lord knew Rin had showed him up more than once already. He was supposed to be the star exwire, not the half-demon.

"Fuck you, Suguro!" He practically hissed.

Brown eyes met blue and Bon immediately let go of the tail upon seeing the degree of anger in them. "Sheesh, calm down. I was just messing with ya," he claimed, holding his hands up in surrender. Rin possessively snatched up his own tail and held it close to his chest, guarding it from the other. "Yeah well, don't try that ever again... or else." he threatened with a sneer.

For a tense moment the two locked eyes, each trying to stare the other down. Brown eyes broke away first. "It's getting a bit late so I should go," said Bon as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets and made for the exit. With that, Rin snapped out of his little fit.

"Okay, I'll see you to the door.

That night, between all the thoughts and all the guilt floating around in his head, Bon found that there was little room for sleep.

He thought about how cute Rin's face looked with his hair pinned back, and about how smooth that black tail had felt in his grasp. It was almost like the soft scales on a snake's belly and so warm it could even be called hot. He also thought about what Rin might feel if he knew the thoughts in his head. Would he be pissed? Probably. He thought about himself too. Since when had he ever crushed on anyone? Much less another boy? And not only was it a cute little school-boy crush. He finally realized just how bad he had it for Rin. Did this happen so gradually, like the sun moving across the summer sky, that he didn't even notice it's progression until it reached a horizon. How long had his heart been keeping him in the dark over this? Since Rin had arrived at the True Cross he couldn't rip his attention away from the boy. Since day one Rin had been pulling only the most intense reactions from him. There was no way for him to ignore the other, and now he knew exactly why.

Fuck, this was so messed up.

Maybe this was Rin's doing, using his demonic powers to seduce the monk. Why would he ever do that though? Maybe it wasn't intentional, another power the demon couldn't really control. Then why did it seem no one else was affected by it? Except maybe Shiemi. She seemed to like Rin. She stuck by him a lot anyways. It was hard to tell if they were just friends though.

That day [it felt like forever ago by now] he'd asked if Shiemi was Rin's girl it had been the boy who blushed and got defensive. Rin had also blushed nervously just the other day when he told Shiemi he'd make her bento. Bon felt a horrible constriction deep in his chest. Rin liked Shiemi. He just knew it now that he thought about it. Okay, Shiemi had a hot body, but fuck she could be so annoying! How could Rin like her?

Bon's malicious thoughts suddenly halted. He was envious of the small girl he realized. What the hell was wrong with him? Shiemi had nothing but kindness in her heart, which she wore on her sleeve. Besides, it wasn't like he wanted Rin to like him like that. ...Right?

...Of course he did. Shit.

Bon tossed and turned on his bed. Rin was another boy. Not to mention the son of fucking Satan himself! How could he ever face everyone at the temple ever again? His Father, his Mother too. What would they all think of him if they knew? His mom had given him the gears just because he'd dyed his hair for gods sake! Surely, he'd get disowned at best if he ever brought home to, as they say: meet the parents, such a high profile demon.

And what about his best friends, who almost never left his side, especially since the trio had departed Kyoto? They were so close, like brothers. Bon was sure he wouldn't be able to hide something like this from the two unless he was really careful.

Rarely did he not know what to do, but this time the longer Bon thought about it the more apparent it became that there was no easy solution. He was really in over his head this time.

He got up from his bunk, grabbing his juzu from the nightstand. He needed to meditate.