Oh nooo…I am so sorry it took me so long to update this! Please forgive meee! _ Anyway I REALLY will try to keep my updates more regular, and thanks again for all your reviews! Hmm… sorry not much has happened yet, I'm trying to think up a good way of progressing the story (Ed's memory included) without it being too lame or a let down! Suggestions, crits and comments are all loved! ^___^
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Winry padded down the hallway into the Kitchen only to stop dumbstruck in the doorway. Roy was doing his best to fend off Hughes, who was shoving what seemed to be photos in his face. As she stood there watching, Roy fell backwards off his chair, followed by a pile of photos that had been stacked on the table in front of him.
"Aw come on, how can you resist her? Don't be so cold!" Hughes was pouting as Roy got to his feet letting all the photos fall on the floor. Hughes' eyes glinted.
"You know, I have the ones from her most recent birthday too…" he cackled, pulling a single photo out of his jacket with a flourish. He held it up to Roy's face grinning. Roy's eyes widened and his mouth fell open.
"What? Where did you even find the time to take that?! On second thoughts I don't even want to know…" Roy moaned a slight blush on his face. He huffed loudly and stormed out the front door. Hughes then looked up to see Winry standing speechless in the doorway. He coughed and blushed slightly, and began gathering the photos up of the floor.
"Err, Sorry about the noise, umm, Roy wanted to see my photos…" he said grinning. Winry smiled back.
"I'm not entirely sure I want to know, but what was on that last photo?" she enquired, still smiling. Hughes' grin broadened, and he whipped the photo out with a flourish. Winry took it off him and stared down at it. When she saw what it was, she spluttered and tried to conceal her laughter. Roy was lying on a sofa asleep with what appeared to be chocolate cake smeared all around his mouth with Elysia, asleep on his lap, in a similar situation.
"Oh, that's priceless," Winry, laughed, "You better keep that one safe." Hughes grinned.
"I intend too." He gathered up the last of the photos and stashed them safely in his pockets. Winry rubbed her eyes tiredly as she cleared the empty mugs off the table, making Hughes look up with concern as he sat back down.
"You should get some rest Winry, you look tired." He said, running a hand through his hair. Winry smiled.
"You sound like Al," she said.
"How is he? Edward's return must have been hard on him." Hughes asked softly.
"He's…coping. We all are. I can't say I'm not used to Ed's surprises, and Granny's probably the strongest out of all of us." She moved to sit down opposite him. He folded his arms over his chest and smiled at her.
"Ed's lucky to have you. He probably doesn't realise how lucky he is. I think that if you're looking after him, he'll be fine." He finished. Winry blushed.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far – I mean, err…" she stuttered. She closed her eyes and regained her composure.
"Thanks Mr. Hughes." She smiled gratefully. There was a noise behind them, and Roy clattered back inside.
"Um, I just went for some fresh air…" he muttered, clearly still embarrassed. Winry smiled knowingly before turning to move some spare automail parts of the bench in the corner.
"So, how's the invalid?" Roy enquired casually. She straightened up to face him, arms full.
"He's sleeping, but I think he'll be okay after some rest. I think Al's with him now." She said. Or rather, I hope he'll be ok… Winry thought. Roy seemed visibly relieved.
"That's good. Do you mind if I used your bathroom?" he asked politely.
"Sure, It's just down the hallway, the door on the far left." Winry pointed. Roy gave a small nod of thanks and strode purposefully from the room. Hughes stretched in his chair.
"It's been a while since I last saw you, you've grown up quite a lot, Winry." He smiled. "Elysia's been dying too see you, too." Winry moved to sit across from him at the table.
"When Ed gets better we'll all come visit her, I've missed her. Gracia too." Winry said.
"I think they'd like that."
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Roy slowly made his way down the hallway until he reached Ed's room. The door was slightly open. Al's quiet voice floated towards him, making Roy lean curiously into the gap.
"Brother, you can't keep doing this. You have to open up to us! I know something bad has happened to you, but if you don't tell me what you can remember then I can't help…" Al finished, sounding upset. Roy chewed his lip. The boys were clearly having a private discussion. He really shouldn't be eavesdropping on it, but… What if Ed told his brother something important? After all, he was here to check up on his subordinate, personal feeling aside… Ed's hoarse voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Al, I'm okay. Really. And I've already told you what I remember. I just need to rest, I'll be fine." He sounded slightly better. There was more character to Ed's voice, but that could easily be to reassure Al. Roy frowned. If only I could see his face, he thought. He nudged the door slightly, widening the gap, and held his breath, praying that they wouldn't notice the movement. The boys continued talking, oblivious to Roy's eavesdropping. He tuned back in on the conversation.
"…you don't get to suffer by yourself, Brother. We're all we've got, remember?" Al sobbed slightly.
"I'm sorry Al. But I'm okay, I promise. If I remember anything new, I'll tell you." Ed said softly. Roy nudged the door again, and he just about could see the two of them. Al had his back to the door, and Ed's bed was facing away from it. He could see Ed's face, looking slightly guilty for upsetting his brother. Al sniffed.
"You better had. You can't hide things from me as well as you used to, Brother." Al teased. "I'm not as young as I look, remember. I'm only a year younger than you, mentally." Ed's face softened, and a ghost of a smile formed on his lips.
"I know, Al" he settled back onto his pillows. Ed looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, so dark that they looked like bruises. His already pale skin looked washed out and his golden eyes were dull. Burnished gold. His long hair hung around his face, out of its usual ponytail. Roy frowned again, this time out of worry. Just what had happened to Ed?
Suddenly Al stretched and rose from his chair. Roy quickly snatched his face away from the door.
"Well, I'll leave you to rest, Brother. Try to get some sleep. Winry's really worried about you." He heard Al say. Panicking at the thought of being caught eavesdropping, Roy ducked swiftly into the bathroom before Al could exit the room. After he had heard his footsteps recede down the hallway, Roy began to make his way back to the kitchen, mulling over what he had seen and heard.
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Ed's eyes flew open as he woke into darkness. Cold panic flooded his mind. Why was it so dark? Where was he? Slowly, his eyes adjusted to his surroundings, and he slumped back onto the pillows. One of the Rockbell guest rooms materialised around him, the shapes barley visible in the shadowy moonlight streaming through the curtains. Ed sighed, briefly closing his eyes in an attempt to remember the dream that had forced him awake. It was useless. Just like his memories, the dream was refusing to show itself to him. He hissed quietly in frustration and threw his one arm over his eyes. He hated feeling like this, so vulnerable and weak. His mind felt heavy, sluggish and raw. It had dragged itself in bleeding circles, over and over again in an attempt to claw back the memories that eluded him, but the realization that he craved would not come. He would not be allowed to remember. Ed would have been happy with this – this state of not knowing – if that was all there was to it. If he could just forget, he could move on. He didn't really want to remember what had happened to him. Some things were best left buried. But it was not so simple. No, there was something else. A feeling that he couldn't place. It writhed in his stomach and grasped at his heart, it wouldn't let him sleep in peace, and it wouldn't let him forget his forgotten memories. What frustrated Ed the most, was that he couldn't put a name to the feeling. Had he forgotten that too? He could name elements of it. There was a little fear there, and a small amount of anguish, but the largest part of the feeling remained unnamed. Perhaps if he could figure out what feeling was haunting him, his memories would be unlocked. Who knows?
Sighing, Ed painfully raised himself into a sitting position. The wound on his stomach was more painful than he liked to admit. Every movement tore at the raw skin around it, and the gash itself burned and seared constantly. He knew he should probably tell Winry or Pinako that he was in pain, even if it was just for them to check whether it was infected, but he didn't want to worry either of them more than he already had. Besides, it wasn't like he couldn't handle a little pain. He'd had worse. He glanced down at the criss-cross of bandages covering his chest and stomach, wincing as he noted the blotches of blood that were slowly appearing on the white fabric. He would need to change them soon. The house was ringing with the heavy silence that only night could bring, letting Ed know that it was probably past midnight. His throat was dry and sore, and his legs felt stiff. Toying with the idea of getting some water to drink, he carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed. He needed to walk around a bit, and knew that he probably wouldn't get any more sleep tonight anyway. Grimacing, Ed carefully lowered his legs to the floor, before sliding to his feet. Uh-oh. Not a good idea. Ed thought, as his legs crumpled beneath him. He tumbled loudly and painfully to the floor, hitting his head as his one arm couldn't hold or balance the weight of his falling body. He lay still for a moment, holding his breath. He could only imagine what Winry would do to him if she found him trying to sneak out of bed in the dead of night. Al had informed him that he had been put on strict bed rest. Luckily though, no one came. As he exhaled, Ed winced at the screaming pain in not only the wound on his stomach, but in the sore muscles all over his body. Ed growled. If he ever remembered who did this to him, they'd pay big time. He squirmed upright, and wriggled his legs, trying to get the feeling to return to them after being inactive for so long. He let out another short hiss of pain as his actions jostled the angry wound on his stomach, and cringed as he fell a little more blood seep through the bandages. He was going to have to be more careful or he would probably end up bleeding to death. Ugh. The great FullMetal Alchemist dying of blood loss because he was too clumsy to stay standing. Even if he didn't die, Mustang would never let him hear the end of it. That cynical bastard. Ed almost smirked slightly at the thought of his sarcastic, egotistical comrade. Almost. He wasn't quite at the smiling stage yet, even if it was to poke fun at Mustang. He slowly dragged himself to his feet and steadied himself using the bed as a support. Shaking his lose hair off his face, Ed limped through to the door. His automail leg was playing up a bit, perhaps because it needed maintenance. He had also grown slightly since Winry had fitted it, meaning he was off balance. He hadn't told her that either. It was only a minor inconvenience, though. Nothing to worry about.
The kitchen was quiet, save the sound of the dripping tap. Ed ambled over to the sink and began to pour himself a glass of water. The strange feeling gnawed at him the whole time, nagging him. A dash of fear and something just a bit more. Ed sighed for what seemed the hundredth time since he had awoken. He leaned back against the table, idly tracing the patterns in the wood grain with his index finger. Al would be annoyed if he found out that Ed had been keeping his feelings from him, but how could he explain it to him when he could even explain it to himself? Abruptly, Al's face flashed into his mind. Ed froze. Images of Al were playing behind his eyes. Al as a child, smiling. Al worried as they sat before the transmutation circle that would resurrect their mother. As the images played, the gnawing, churning feeling grew stronger. Al screaming for him as the gate tore him from their world. The feeling grew stronger still. Al trapped inside the suit of armour, a soul without a body. The feeling was so strong that it ached in his heart.
And suddenly, Ed knew. He knew what that feeling was. The glass slipped from his hand, smashing on the floor. The sound was almost deafening in the heavy silence of the night, but he didn't hear it. He was locked in his realization.
He had felt that feeling so often. Almost every time he had looked at his disembodied little brother. He knew it so well. Why hadn't he realised sooner?
It was Guilt.
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Waahh, Realization sucks. Poor Ed. I tried to make this chapter a bit longer, but I'm not sure how it'll turn out on FanFic. I hadn't realised they were so short, Sorry! ^_^; Speaking of which, FanFic keeps screwing up my formatting. Grr… It's so annoying. I'll have to check this one when I upload it. I re-read the first few chapters, and realised how crappy the formatting had come out, so I might upload them again, if I can find a format that it'll accept. I hope this chapter wasn't too bad, I'll try to upload more regularly, I promise! :D
Please don't hesitate to review if you read this Fic! And thank you all for the reviews that are already submitted!
Ciaossu! XD