For some reason I felt that a Martha/Kate chapter was needed so I had to put that in here but also I wanted to show another side to Kate as well so this chapter is made up with a whole lot of stuff that my brain threw together, sort of like my cooking attempt where I just throw a lot together an hope for the best. I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the wonderful reviews, I love hearing from you and hope to continue to hear your thoughts on this.
Walking down the stairs, Martha yawned as she reached for the light switch, desperate for a drink and some sleeping pills so she could get back to sleep. She was exhausted, the journey had been long and tiresome with her son singing along to every song on the radio and yet she wouldn't have changed anything about the arrival to the Hamptons. She had a family that felt complete now with Rick completely happy with a woman who kept him in line and yet had fun with and she had two beautiful granddaughters who she wouldn't change for the world so she was happy with whatever life threw at her. Turning the light on, she found herself however not alone but instead with an exhausted looking Kate staring at her from the couch.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" Kate asked gently, her voice almost silent but loud enough to hear is the quiet house. Shaking her head, Martha sighed as she crept towards the couch and sat herself beside the exhausted brunette who groaned and rested her head against the sofa, her eyes shutting slowly as Martha watched her.
"Kate are you okay?" she asked, slightly worried about the woman in front of her who slowly nodded and groaned. "Kate, don't lie to me, I know you're not alright. I brought up Richard and helped with Alexis, I can tell when someone's lying" Martha explained, Kate's eyes opening quickly as she sighed slowly and began to think about everything that was running through her mind, Martha noticing how Kate's fingers were playing with the ring around her neck. "You miss your mom" Martha commented, Kate nodding quickly as a tear ran down her cheek.
"I really need her at the moment. I need her help with Johanna and I need her help with the wedding that I'm supposed to be planning. I just want my mom more than ever because I don't know what I'm doing" Kate sobbed, more tears flowing down her cheeks as Martha reached across and held the young woman's hand. "I don't know what I'm doing and I need her help so badly because she'd know exactly what to do and what to say to make it all better".
"Have you talked to Rick about this?" Martha asked as Kate shook her head slowly. "Don't think he wouldn't understand, Rick had problems too when he was growing up. He didn't have a proper man around when he needed to know about certain things like shaving or other things that I really don't want to talk about" Martha smiled as Kate stared at her. "He knows what you're going through Kate and he'll want to help you, he'll be worried if you end up bottling it up from him" Martha admitted, Kate nodding quickly. "And can I also remind you that I brought up a baby on my own and he sort of turned out alright, I think, so anything baby wise that you want help with Kate, I can do. I know I'm not your mom but I'd love it if you could feel like you could come to me with any problems you had" she announced, holding onto Kate's hand a little tighter as the detective smiled and nodded.
"Thank you" Kate whispered, wrapping her arms around Martha quickly to hug her, the older woman smiling as she held Kate for a while, the two of them moving away as they heard the sound of crying from upstairs. "I better go, Rick seems to sleep through it now" Kate whispered, Martha watching as Kate disappeared up the stairs, to the realm of the main bedroom.
Entering the darkness of their bedroom, Kate sighed as she listened to her daughter cry, the sound of Rick sleeping through it annoying her slightly as she picked Johanna up and slowly began to rock her gently. Holding her close, Kate watched as Rick continued to sleep, a groan leaving her lips before she shook her head and grabbed Johanna's blanket from the cot, wrapping her daughter in it before leaving the room. Walking back downstairs, Kate watched as Martha appeared from the kitchen, holding a drink of water in her hand.
"Do you want me to take her?" Martha asked, noticing that Kate suddenly seemed to be struggling. Shaking her head, Kate sighed as she continued to walk around the room, rocking Johanna gently, humming at the same time as she desperately tried to get her daughter to sleep. Walking up the stairs slowly, Martha sighed as she turned back around to see Kate with the small child pressed against her, exhaustion covering her pale face. Slipping into her son's bedroom, Martha sighed as she put her sleeping pills down on the side and held the glass of water above her son's head, pouring it slightly, Rick screaming as he sat up and glared at his mother.
"What was that for?" he asked as she crossed her arms. "What have I done now?" he continued to ask as Martha continued to stare at him, Rick finally noticing that the bed was empty. "Where's Kate?" he finally asked.
"Struggling downstairs with your daughter, she's finding it hard at the moment and she really needs you Richard" Martha explained simply as Rick finally heard the crying that echoed around the house. "Look I know you're putting one hundred per cent in but when you go downstairs, look at Kate for a moment" she sighed before leaving the room, allowing Rick to slide out of the bed and leave to stare down the stairs, noticing for the first time a pale and exhausted Kate. Looking up, Kate stared at him as she continued to rock their daughter, humming some song that she recalled from her child as Rick ran down the stairs and held his arms out. Passing Johanna over to him, Kate sighed as she watched him rock her while she slowly returned to the sofa, her arms pulling her legs up to her chest slowly.
"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked, smiling as Johanna began to get quieter while he watched his fiancée groan and run her hands through her hair, trying to find something to do without herself that wouldn't make her feel as bad as she was. "Kate, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong and I really don't feel like having frozen water poured over me by my mother again for not doing anything to make you feel better" he announced as she sighed and looked up at him. Realising that Johanna was now silent; he smiled before walking over to Kate and pressing a kiss against her forehead. "I'm going to put this one to bed and then we're going to have a well needed talk" he explained, Kate nodding quickly as she watched him disappear upstairs.
XOOXXOXO
Walking back down the stairs, he sighed as he saw her in the same position staring out across the room; exhaustion covering her face as he slowly approached and saw it clearer than before. He hated seeing Kate like this, especially when he didn't know what had brought it on or how he could make it better
"Put your arms around my neck" he whispered, Kate doing what he said before he slowly slipped his arms around her and lifted her off the sofa, carrying her towards the stairs. "We're going to go upstairs and into one of the spare rooms, I think someone needs a break" he announced, Kate sighing as she slowly nodded and allowed him to carry her past their bedroom, where the door was slightly open, to the room at the end of the corridor. Resting her on the bed, he sighed as he slowly lay himself down next to her and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close. "Now what's going on with you Katie?" he asked.
"I'm exhausted Rick, I don't know why but tonight it just sort of went to maximum and I'm struggling, I can't cope when she gets majorly upset over something like the thunderstorm or just now. Don't get me wrong I love Johanna so much Rick, I would do anything for her but I'm doing a rubbish job at the moment" she sighed, resting her head against his chest slowly as she shut her eyes. "And I want my mom more than ever Rick. I know I've missed her in the past but right now I miss her because I need her to help me with things I've never done before" she sighed, desperately trying not to cry again.
"Kate, one you are not doing a rubbish job, your just getting used to being a mom, that's all. Everyone has a moment where they struggle, trust me and I promise Johanna adores you back but I promise to make more of an effort to actually wake up at night now" he whispered, his hand running up and down her back gently. "And I know you miss your mom and I know you need her but she's still her Kate, in here" he declared, running his fingers over where her heart was, Kate nodding slowly as she moved up to kiss him. "Look when we get back to New York, why don't we go and visit her?" he suggested. "Perhaps we can take Johanna?" he added.
"I'd like that" she whispered, a yawn quickly leaving her as he sighed and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "Rick, I'm not a bad mother am I?" she asked, her eyes remaining shut so she didn't see the complete shock that covered his face.
"Katherine Beckett you are an amazing mother, not just to Johanna but to Alexis as well" he smiled as Kate smiled to herself. "Kate you're a natural mother, you just need to sleep but also can I suggest stopping the Wii for a moment, it doesn't you relax Kate, it just stresses you out more" he added before he realised she'd gone extremely quiet, his eyes looking down to see her fast asleep against him, the smile growing on his face as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Good night Katie" he whispered before sighing, trying to get to sleep however cold his body was from the freezing alarm clock his mother had used.