I do not own Harry Potter...sadly. I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I was having a really hard time writing this chapter. I can't make any promises on when I'll get the next one, but it will be soon.

Sirius

"What?" Sam asks looking at me with her big blue eyes. There's something captivating about her eyes. When she looks at me with them, I sort of melt. If James were to hear me say that, I'd never live it down. I can imagine the conversation now.

"You're losing your manliness Padfoot," he would say laughing. "Since when does Sirius Black let a girl run his life? Mr. Never Settle Down?"

"Says the guy who can't look at a certain red haired girl without making a complete fool of himself," I'd retort. The rest of the conversation, James would remind me of everything he loves about Lily, and I'd tune him out.

I almost laugh at the thought; then I remember Sam's waiting for my answer. "N-never mind," I stumble over the words. Sam looks confused.

"If you'll excuse us for a moment," Kaelin says taking my arm and dragging me away. Once we're a safe distance away, she lets go.

I don't say anything. I know what's coming. "Sirius," she starts. That's when I know she's upset. She never calls me by my real name. Ever. "Why can't you tell her?"

"What if she gets mad?" I mumble quietly. I can't have Sam mad at me. I can't.

"Then she gets mad. Don't you think she'll be even more furious if she finds out from someone else?" she says. She has a point. "Just tell her exactly what you told me. I'm sure she'll understand."

"Ok," I say still uncertain. Kaelin drags me back to where Sam and Remus are sitting by the lake. She then takes Remus by his hand and pulls him off towards the castle with her.

When Sam and I are alone, she puts her head on my shoulder. For a few minutes, we sit in silence just watching the water in the lake ripple slowly. I put my arm around her wondering how to start the dreaded conversation.

As it turns out, I don't have to. Sam lifts her head up and looks me right in the eyes. "What were you going to tell me?" she asks, and by the tone of her voice, I can tell she's been thinking about it the whole time we've been sitting here.

I can't ignore her. I have to tell her. "Filtch got the map," I say looking away. She doesn't start screaming like I thought she would.

Instead, she calmly asks, "How?" Her words are soft, and I realize she's giving me a chance to explain before she gets mad.

"I gave it to him," I say. She doesn't say anything, and I seize the chance to explain. "I left it by this office so he'd read it, and it would insult him."

"Why Sirius?" I can hear a hint of disappointment in her voice, but it's not anger yet.

I stop. Kaelin said to tell her everything. I could make up some lie and pretend it never happened, but I can't lie to Sam. "It's been a month Sam. We've been doing great for an entire month, and I still can't get you to kiss me. I've tried to see your reasons, but I just can't seem to understand. You keep distancing yourself from me no matter what I do," I say. "I can't win."

"You promised we'd go slow," she reminds me. I nod.

"But not backwards. Lately, you hardly spend time with me anymore. You do everything you can to avoid being alone with me. I don't understand," I say. She looks away as if she's thinking.

Sam

I have been distancing myself from him, but I have my own reasons. I know I've been hurting him. I know I've been avoiding him, but he doesn't understand. I don't want to get hurt. "I just don't want to get hurt," I say finally. His eyes widen slightly.

"I would never hurt you Sam," he says, but I find it hard to believe him.

"How can you say that?" I demand. "You used to go around the school getting a new girlfriend every week. You'd wait until she thought you really liked her, and you'd break her heart. How am I any different than them? How long until you get bored with me too?"

I can see the pain in his eyes, but I don't care. I need an answer. He opens his mouth and closes it again. He knows I'm right. "That's what I thought," I say. "I can't do this anymore Sirius. I knew this wouldn't work from the moment I said yes. You'll never change. If you want a girl to kiss you so bad, then go find one of your stupid fan girls. Break her heart. I won't let you break mine."

With that, I stalk off towards the castle leaving him by the lake. I can feel the tears in my eyes, but I push them away. I had to do it. It was for the best. I wanted to go slow for a reason. I'm not mad at him. I'm disappointed.

When I asked him that question, I didn't expect an answer. Nothing he could have said would have changed a thing. It might have delayed this, but it would only have made it harder for both of us in the future.

From the moment he told me why he lost the map, I knew this was wrong. I'll never be special to him. I'm just another girl who fell for him and ended up heartbroken. I've learned now. I won't ever fall for that again. A guy like Sirius Black will never change no matter how much he says he will, or how much I want him to.

Please comment! I haven't been getting as many lately, and it's slightly discouraging. :) I hope to have the next chapter out within a few days or a week at most.