My face was red and blotchy from bawling all weekend. Despite my best intentions to get wasted the night of the first task, I couldn't separate my sadness from my desire to drink. And that upset me even more, so I took an early leave to my four poster bed, which comforted me as I mourned the loss of the best thing that ever happened to me.
It didn't help that Cedric and I were in the same year, and so we had all of the same classes together. I couldn't escape him. Cedric shot me mournful smiles, each apologizing for his tactless break up, which served to do nothing more than fuel my pitiful chamber of hope in my stomach. Maybe Cedric just needed a breather. He would be back with me in no time.
Every time I ran this theory past Kim and Kelly, their empathy levels dissolved. I knew they were trying to shield me from harm, but their acid tongues jumped at my throat every time I said I missed Cedric. They were great friends, but they weren't much for redundancies.
So it was stupid that I started crying again when George asked me how I was doing. George reacted instinctively, and put an arm around my shoulder.
"You'll be all right," he crooned, but that didn't stop the tears from pouring from my eyes. "He was a worthless git anyway. Think of how much more fun you can have now that you are single!"
Single. The word sounded biting, like vomit or pussy. I ground my teeth into my gums and swallowed.
"I don't want to be…" I drifted off. Cedric walked by at the moment, in the company of some pretty Ravenclaw girl, and a few of his usual Hufflepuff gang. I inhaled sharply, and couldn't help but wondering furiously if I had already been replaced.
"You're all right," George reassured me. "Where are you going next? I'll walk you…"
He walked me up to the astronomy tower, his arm snaked around my shoulder. His skin was warm against my neck, and it reminded me of the way Cedric carried me to class every morning…
"Stop that," George admonished playfully, wiping away the new tears from my eyes. "How is he going to regret losing you if you're crying all the time?"
I smiled gratefully at my friend, and leaned in to his embrace.
"Thank you," I said, muffled against his robes.
"No problem," he beamed, and scurried off to his class.
"There are several stages to a break-up," Kelly said matter-of-factly. "And you should be just about near 'Acceptance,' not 'Misery.'"
Two weeks had gone by since Cedric had broken up with me. Cedric and I had not spoken to each other since. Cedric continued to try to make eye contact with me, as if he insisted we stayed friends, but I couldn't handle the pressure of "just friends," any more than I could handle the pressure of "acceptance."
Kelly, Kim and I were lounging in front of the fireplace in the Hufflepuff common room. There were several older students still milling about, talking and laughing like their worlds hadn't just shattered two weeks ago. It was getting late, nearly eleven o'clock, and we were still working rigorously on some essay Snape had assigned us. It was due tomorrow, of course.
"It's easier said than done," I mumbled, but even I had to admit this self-pitying angle was getting pathetic. I had cried less in the last week, but that didn't stop my heart from wringing itself out whenever I happened to catch Cedric smiling pitifully at me in class. George had also turned into a great help: he often snuck me treats from the kitchens (even though I could very well get them myself) and he and Fred tried to distract me by telling me about their newest ambition: to open a joke shop.
Somehow, I could relate everything in my life back to my ex-boyfriend. Cedric wanted to work for the ministry, like his father. Cedric struggled so hard to make his dad proud.
"Did you hear about the Yule Ball?" Kim asked cheerily. She was really good at not doing homework. "It's happening on Christmas night. I need to get a dress."
"There's a Hogsmeade visit coming up soon," Kelly grinned. "Ah, good, an excuse to go dress shopping."
"Do you think we'll need dates?" Kim wondered aloud. I watched the light from the fire flicker in my two best friend's eyes, and suddenly I felt very lonely.
"Nah, we can go stag, together," Kelly grabbed my and Kim's hands. "Because we're in love!" she sang.
My stomach burned. I wondered who Cedric would be taking. It would have been so romantic for us to go together…
"Do you want to go?" Kim stared at me, her voice full of hope. "It will be fun!"
It could be fun with friends. Maybe I could dance with a Durmstrang boy after rocking out with Kim and Kelly.
"I heard The Weird Sisters are performing there," Kelly crossed her fingers. "Here's hoping. The bassist? So hot."
Excitement brewed inside of me. Kelly, Kim and I had been dying to see The Weird Sisters live for years. And now they were coming to Hogwarts?
"Oh my God! I love The Weird Sisters!" I exclaimed, and flailed my arms. Positivity seemed to flow back into my limbs, and for the first time in two weeks, I felt human again. "This is going to be fucking great!"
"I know!" my friends choired, and we all giggled girlishly.
"What kind of dress should I get?" I asked, my mind far gone from Cedric and Snape's essay.
"Something hot," Kelly wiggled her eyebrows. "Lots of cleavage."
"Definitely," Kim nodded enthusiastically.
I beamed, and swiveled my head around to see if Cedric had been listening to how happy I sounded. He wasn't in the common room.
Our plan of going stag quickly hit a snag. The next day, Kim got asked to the Ball by a very attractive Durmstrang boy named Thom. And of course, she couldn't say no when she looked into his gorgeous and super mysterious gray eyes. Kim flailed and managed to stutter yes. A few days after that, Kelly was asked to go with a seventh year Ravenclaw boy who looked almost exactly like the bassist from The Weird Sisters. His name was Billie, and he was super mega hot. So she couldn't say no.
Dress shopping had come and gone with massive amounts of giggling, and we settled on different, but very scandalous looking dresses. My enthusiasm for the Ball had been dampened by the fact that I would be going alone, despite my friend's insistences that I would not be alone at all.
"You seem to be in a better mood," George said cautiously, like he was handling a very large Blast Ended Skrewt. We were walking back from a particularly long charms class, in which Cedric did not glance my way at all.
"Mostly, yes," I agreed, and confirmed my newfound emotion with a smile.
"Great, glad to hear," George beamed. His face fell suddenly, and he adopted a very serious tone, "Listen, I've been meaning to ask you then…"
"Ask me?" My mind swarmed with the possible questions he could ask.
His face turned a bright shade of pink and he sputtered, trying to sound confident, "I wondered if you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me?"
I had never really thought of George Weasley as anything more than a friend, up until right now. My brain almost exploded at the thought.
"Ah, really?" I asked, skeptical of his intentions. My mind moved to George holding my waist, to George waltzing with me under a canopy of stars and icicles, and to George pressing his warm mouth against mine…
"Yes," he seemed to have regained his confidence, and puffed out his chest. "It would be a blast. You and me."
I almost said no, only because the idea of venturing into dating made me feel just as nauseous as I had when Cedric dumped me. But if I did say no, then I would most definitely be alone on the night of the Yule Ball. And that would be less fun than handling a large Blast Ended Skrewt.
But then my thoughts swirled, and I imagined George looking awkwardly handsome in black dress robes, and us having a laugh at everyone else around us. It could be a lot of fun, going on a date with the school's prankster.
"What about Fred?" I asked, wondering if that would leave his twin alone.
"He has a date," George winked, "Angelina Johnson."
I made a noise of amusement, and George grinned. "So, I take that as a yes?"
I braced myself for the impending gloom of commitment, but it didn't come. Instead, I couldn't wait to tell Kim and Kelly. "Yes!"