Chapter 5 – Mr Dinosaur and Mr Bunny
Five hours later Rose set two cups of tea down on the kitchen table before taking a seat opposite the Doctor, staring at him staring at her.
For a while, neither of them spoke, just staring at each other as if they were trying to read each other's thoughts about their current situation. When that didn't work, they simultaneously took a sip of tea, set it down, and stared at each other again.
"Does this mean we can never have sex again?" Rose wondered vaguely, breaking the silence. "I mean, how did this happen?"
"I must've healed quicker than I thought I would," the Doctor muttered, running a hand through his hair before cupping his chin. "Maybe it's every two months, not every four months."
They both fell silent again, and took another sip of tea.
"So," Rose broke the silence for a second time, but didn't seem to be able to find another word to put in that sentence.
But it was okay, because the Doctor didn't know what to say either.
"... Do you fancy some biscuits?" the Doctor suddenly asked after a moment, jumping to his feet. "I'd quite like some Hobnobs. Do you want some? I think Hobnobs would be ideal. I'll just go get some Hobnobs. I don't think we've got any. Better run out to Tescos. See you in two hours," he gabbled, and made for the door.
Rose quickly grabbed his arm, staring at him. "Doctor," she said firmly.
The Doctor sighed, and dropped back down into the chair.
"I'll support you whatever you want, you know that, yeah?" she said gently.
The Doctor blinked and looked up at her, seeming a little bit lost. "I... I don't know. … Do you want it?" Rose opened her mouth instantly but he quickly held up a hand. "Please, just tell me the truth. Do you want it or not?"
Rose's eyes disconnected from his. "Yeah."
"So do I," the Doctor admitted in a croak. "But..."
"I know," she said.
There was a brief moment of silence between them.
"Doctor, brain update?" she asked, reaching up to cup his cheek.
His hand clamped to her's, running his thumb over her fingers before he worked up the resilience to speak.
"... The last time..." he began almost reluctantly, swallowing. "It hurt so much. I've... never felt anything like it. I thought I was going to die. I wanted to die. I hated everything about it, I hated myself, I hated you, and for a while I hated Leah. I know it's been two years and Leah is so beautiful. I'm not saying she wasn't worth it because she is worth every second of what I went through, but... I'm not sure I can go through that again right now. I know eventually we will but I don't think I can take it again at the moment. Not even in nine months."
"... So we abort," Rose said quietly in reply.
"If you want..."
"Doctor, be quiet. It's not up to me."
"But..."
"You think I didn't hate myself for just sittin' there watchin' you scream in agony for somethin' that I should've had?" Rose suddenly said in a clipped tone, almost angrily. "I felt guilty, I still do. I was just sat there and you were cryin' and screamin' and..." She paused, trying to stop the tears she could feel coming so she could continue but she ended up sinking into silence, wiping at her eyes.
"... Throwing things at Jack?" the Doctor suggested helpfully.
Rose looked at him through wet eyes and after a moment burst out laughing, still wiping at her unfallen tears... but now it was with a smile.
The Doctor grinned back. "So we're aborting it...?"
Rose nodded.
He just leant forward, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the lips.
"You want to do it now or later?" he asked in a whisper with their foreheads pressed together.
"Now," she replied without a hint of hesitation. He just nodded and took her hand, pulling her onto her feet to take her out of the door. As they moved into the corridor they met Martha coming in the opposite direction with Leah by her side, quickly stopping at the sight of them.
"Daddy, Mummy," Leah said happily and moved forward to hug her father's leg.
"Hello, you," the Doctor said just as happily, dropping down to hug her. "Did you have fun at Auntie Gwen's last night?"
Leah nodded, still holding him tightly. He caught Martha's expression.
"Are you...?" she began, obviously far too polite to finish the sentence.
Rose nodded. "We're going to abort it."
Martha nodded, looking between them. "Do you want me to...?"
The Doctor shook his head, pulling away from Leah and stroking her hair, getting to his feet. "No, I will. Thank you."
"'What abort?" Leah suddenly asked, looking at her parents enquiringly.
The Doctor grimaced, scratching the back of his head. "It's... umm... let me get back to you on that, okay? Go with Martha, then I'll come and play whatever game you want in a bit."
Leah nodded and obediently ran back to Martha, who nodded to the Doctor and Rose. "See you later. Good luck."
"You're at six weeks," the Doctor concluded after the scan. "So we can abort with pills. It'll just be like a miscarriage. I might feel something through the paternal bond, but at this stage it's not going to be bad."
Rose nodded, sitting up on the scanner bed. "Ready when you are."
He stared at her for a moment, glancing down at her belly where the new life was before he cleared his throat as if embarrassed, straightened and pointed vaguely at the nearby storage closet. "I'll just erm... go get them," he said, and left.
Rose stared after him for a moment. She knew that they had decided this together, talked about it, shared their concerns, and overall it was an informed decision with the hell they had both gone through last time. But somehow it still felt... strange. Wrong. Unfair.
He returned a few moments later with the medication and a glass of water in hand. He sat down on the scanner bed next to her, and popped out one pill from a pack.
"Do I even want to know why you have abortion pills on the TARDIS?" Rose wondered with a tentative grin, taking the pill out of his hand.
"I don't even know," he confessed, handing her the glass of water. "Okay, take this one now and I'll give you another in 48 hours."
Rose nodded, lifting the pill to her lips...
"Wait!" the Doctor suddenly said quickly, and she froze in mid-movement, staring at him. He made as if to say something, but then sagged his shoulders. "No, never mind, carry on," he said, gesturing redundantly.
Rose lifted the pill again.
"No!" the Doctor yelled again, hands in the air. There was a pause before he sagged again. "No, okay, right, just do it."
She lifted the pill for the third time.
"Stop!"
Rose sighed and dropped her hand to her lap. "Doctor."
He swallowed, looking between her face and the pill. "Okay, right, I'm sorry. In it goes. Down the hatch."
It hadn't even got halfway to her mouth this time before his hands flew out and grabbed her arms.
"Doctor!" she exclaimed.
"Rose, I'm sorry," he muttered, and didn't let go.
"It's okay," Rose replied gently. "But I thought we decided?"
He nodded. "I know, it's just..." he sighed and let go of her arms, running a hand down his face. "... I can't do this."
She considered him for a moment, before leaning forward and kissing him. "Do you want me to take this pill or not?"
"... No," he muttered.
Silently she held out the pill and dropped it into his palm. He sighed and took it back.
"Are you sure?" Rose asked.
"Yep."
"So we're havin' another baby."
"Yep."
Rose kissed him again before setting down the glass of water and wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Here we go again," she said quietly.
He didn't answer verbally, and merely held her tightly in return.
"You will never get your special ball back, Mr Bunny!" the dinosaur handpuppet roared, guarding the spotty orange ball behind him.
"Give it back, Mr Dinosaur!" the bunny handpuppet squeaked in reply.
"Muahaha! It's mine now! Forever!"
"Then I will have to nibble you to death!" the bunny handpuppet declared, and launched an attack.
"Roar, roar, roar! Eek! Eek! Eek!" the dinosaur and bunny yelled in turn as they fought, until finally they broke apart and the dinosaur coughed and collapsed.
"Yaaaay!" Mr Bunny squeaked, bobbing over to retrieve his ball, before turning to its one person audience. "Remember, Leah," Mr Bunny squeaked. "Never steal anyone's special ball, and never fight a bunny! We're lethal!"
Leah giggled and clapped appreciatively as Mr Dinosaur jumped upright and took a bow with Mr Bunny.
"Doctor..." a voice suddenly said as the door opened, and Rose appeared. She took in the sight before her, toys absolutely strewn everywhere with Leah's bed pushed away from the side, two handpuppets poking out from behind the side. Both handpuppets turned to her, inquisitive.
She blinked, and then began again. "It's Leah's bedtime."
"No!" Mr Bunny squeaked. "We want to stay up late and play, don't we, Leah?"
Leah burst into giggles again and nodded enthusiastically.
"Please Mummy, let us stay up!" Mr Dinosaur grunted.
"Daddy, seriously," Rose began, grinning. "Put down the puppets and put Leah to bed."
"Oh, all right then," the Doctor conceded, popping up from behind the bed.
Rose stared at him. "What have you done to your face?" she asked, taking in the slight paint accident he seem to have had just on his face.
"We played make up Daddy," he replied innocently.
"... Okay," Rose replied looking between her husband and her daughter. "Well it's bedtime."
"Don't wanna go bed!" Leah protested as the Doctor picked her up and set her on the bed, pulling out her pyjamas from the drawer as Rose started gathering up the scattered toys.
"If you don't go to bed, the night monster will get you, y'know," the Doctor said sternly, pulling on her pyjama top.
Leah stared at him, with large round eyes. "Night monster?"
The Doctor nodded. "It's huge, hairy and black, with really sharp and pointy claws as big as your head."
Leah swallowed nervously. "Daddy!" she wailed, and burst into tears.
"Hey, I'm joking!" the Doctor said, laughing as he finished dressing her and took her into a hug. "The night monster's not real."
She looked up at him and sniffed. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "But if you don't go to sleep Granny will get pretty mad, and I think that's probably worse than the night monster," he said, kissing her forehead. "Now go brush your teeth."
She nodded, jumping off and rushing past him into the adjoining bathroom. He turned back to Rose, and helped her tidy up.
"Can you be a bit more forceful?" Rose asked suddenly. "I feel like I'm the evil parent ruining her fun."
He grinned and placed Bundy the teddy bear on the bed ready for Leah. "But the Mum's supposed to be the parent that saves up for College and worries about school and makes lots of rules, and the Dad's supposed to be the cool one that breaks them all and becomes really overbearing when she's a teenager and interrogates her boyfriends."
"Have you been watching some more sitcoms?" Rose wondered.
"Maybe," the Doctor muttered. "But if you've got a better resource for being a parent I would love to hear it. Because I have no idea what I'm doing."
Rose had to concede. "Yeah, neither do I."
"Mummy! Daddy!" Leah yelled, running into the bedroom with toothpaste smeared all around her mouth. "I brushed it all!"
"Including your face!" the Doctor said, sounding impressed. He moved forward and scooped her up taking her back to the bathroom again as Rose continued to gather up toys.
When they got back the room was tidy, the lights were dimmed, and Rose was just folding up a blanket. The Doctor took Leah over to the bed, tucking her up and putting Bundy in her arms.
"Daddy, Mummy," Leah began as Rose took a seat on the bed beside the Doctor, stroking Leah's hair.
"Yeah?"
"When will I see Gan again?"
"Your gran?" Rose repeated. "Well, um..."
"She's away," the Doctor said quickly. "But she contacts us as often as she can."
"Is that why she always on Tardy screen?"
He nodded.
"When she coming back?"
Rose looked at the Doctor, before looking back at Leah. "We don't know, Leah."
"Okay." She sniffed. "Please don't go away."
The Doctor smiled. "We will never go away."
"Yeah, we'll be here forever," Rose said.
"Now go to sleep," the Doctor said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead, as did Rose.
"Night night," Leah replied, closing her eyes.
The Doctor and Rose slipped out the door together, pulling it shut behind them. Rose took the Doctor's hand and led him down the corridor, making sure they were out of range before she pulled him back to face her.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
He smiled back. "Fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You've been playing with Leah all day, you've barely talked to me."
He shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "Just wanted to spend some time with her."
Rose stared at him, hands on hips.
Instantly he realised they were bonded, and had to conceed. "Okay, she just took my mind off of..." He gestured to her belly.
She rested a hand on her belly, before looking back up at him, frowning. "... You don't want this, do you?"
"No, I do," he said quickly. "I just... Don't want to have to think about it right now."
Rose looked at him for a moment, before taking his hand again and pulling him into their bedroom.
"Go clean up," she said, pointing to the bathroom. "She's made a complete paint mess on your face and it's not very attractive."
The Doctor grinned, stroking his face and staring at the red facepaint that came off on his fingers. "Is it that bad?"
"She's made a right Jackson Pollock out of it."
"Ah," he replied, and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. When he got back, he found Rose just removing her underwear, where it slipped down her legs and ended up in a puddle of lace on the floor.
She looked up, stark naked, and laughed at his stunned face. "Late happy birthday!"
His face broke into a grin. "Yep, this is taking my mind off of it."