CH10

Disaster. Chaos. Of all the things...

Sheldon sighed as he hung up the phone. Penny was staring at him, her eyebrows raised Spock-style, he could feel it. It made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention, a not altogether unpleasant feeling when it was coming from Penny. It was decidedly irritating from anyone else though and down right spooky from strangers.

"My mother." He announced to the air in front of him.

"Ah." Penny replied sagely from the doorway to the kitchen. "Do I detect motherly meddling from somewhere in Texas?"

"Worse." He replied morosely. He had been astounded to learn that all mothers acted like his, Penny's in particular. It had made the realization that there really was only one Beverly Hofstader in the world very depressing. Not that she was one of a kind, but that Leonard had somehow warranted her as a mother, when he himself would have been much suited. Except for that whole Not-allowing-skipping-ahead thing. Imagine taking four or five years to do high-school. He shuddered again.

"Can't be that bad." Penny called from where she had returned to mixing batter for banana muffins. "You haven't hit your head on anything yet."

Penny had introduced him to her "mom-o-meter" scale of interfering. She had one for Dad's too he knew, but she hadn't yet shared it with him. Hitting your head against something- ie a wall or door, ranked at a seven. A full out scream ranked a ten.

"I am still decided how to rate it." He crossed his arms over his chest jerkily. "My mother is coming to visit me."

There was the sound of a spoon hitting the floor in the kitchen, and then a curse.

Sheldon got up and walked over to the doorway, peeking in. Penny was washing the spoon she had just dropped. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes. Your Born-Again-Christian Mother who cooks with lard is coming to visit you. Us." She turned to look at him. "When?"

There was a slight tone of panic in her voice.

He tilted his head. "Tomorrow."

"TOMORROW?"

"Yes. You see the dilemma. Is this worth possibly damaging my frontal lobe or the wall, or is more of a Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Mint experience?"

Penny sucked on her teeth and stared at him while she thought. The house was clean. They had set up the third bedroom as a spare with the rest of Penny's furniture. He had cleaned out and bleached the fridge and freezer just the other day, so really...

She opened the silverware drawer and handed him two spoons. "Ben and Jerry's it is. Wouldn't want to damage the walls before your mother sees them." She grinned tightly.

"She doesn't believe me you know." He said, opening the tub of ice cream and setting it in the middle of the table.

"About what?"

"That you live here."

"Well, then I guess she's in for a surprise, isn't she?" Penny quipped.

Sheldon felt his lips twitch into a sinister grin worthy of the Joker himself. Indeed...