"Run Lincoln run!"
"Make a break for your room!"
"Fast as a cheetah man!"
The voices of his friends could hardly be heard over the sounds of his shoes slamming the pavement and his heavy breathing. Lincoln Loud was on the run.
From what you might ask? Only the most feared being in all of Royal Woods Elementary School, Ronnie Anne Santiago.
Nobody knows exactly where Ronnie Anne came from, some say she was raised by a family of bigfoot sasquatches, others say she crawled out of the most polluted depths of Lake Michigan. All anyone does know is ever since the first day of Kindergarten, she had asserted herself as the toughest, meanest, and most undesirable kid to be around. And currently, she had her sights set on poor Lincoln.
To say Lincoln had bad luck was a slight exaggeration. The boy was not cursed, but it was a rare day something would not go awry for him. Whether it be a plan of his backfiring, or one of his sisters blackmailing him for leaving the toilet seat up, Lincoln was almost always in some kind of predicament. This predicament however, was worse than most others.
Lincoln had been Ronnie Anne's number one punching bag for weeks now, and for the longest time he had tried to ignore her in the hope that she would eventually pick on someone else. He tried this for a while, but eventually his patience wore thin. So he decided to do the only thing he could, tell an adult. Yes, snitching was low, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So the white haired boy stayed late after class and informed their teacher, Mrs. Johnson, of what had been happening. She assured him the situation would be taken very seriously and he had nothing to worry about. Heh, nothing to worry about, what a laugh.
When Ronnie Anne had been approached by Mrs. Johnson about the bullying, so Lincoln heard second hand, she at first denied the allegations. But when this proved to be futile, she tried to frame herself as the victim. After a long back and forth between the teacher and the bully, Ronnie Anne was given a week of after school detention.
As to be expected, Ronnie Anne was not happy about this, and swore the next time she saw Lincoln, she would make him wish he was never born.
And that brings us to where we are now. Lincoln, running for his life along the streets of Royal Woods, Ronnie Anne hot on his back.
At last he saw his house in the distance. With his luck at least one of his older sisters was home, and they could protect him from the menace on his tail. He hoped for Lynn.
Lincoln cut into the yard of Mr. Grouse, not caring if he messed up the bitter codger's perfect lawn. He vaulted himself over the hedges separating the two properties, and continued dashing toward his house's front porch.
Only a few more steps, he was almost home free, when a strong grip held him back by the shirt collar. The force of the halt was so great, Lincoln almost let out a gag from his collar.
"You!" snarled Ronnie Anne.
Lincoln just looked at his pursuer, sweating bullets. Far too nervous to say anything.
"You snitched on me, and now, you will pay! Any last words, punk?"
"W-why do I have to pay?" Lincoln sputtered out.
"Are you deaf?" spat Ronnie Anne. "Because you snitched."
"Well I-I only did because you wouldn't stop picking on me."
"You deserve it."
Lincoln's fear was now slightly overpowered by genuine curiosity. "What did it do to deserve it?"
"What didn't you do!? Always walking around like you're better than everyone else with your group of friends, your C- average academics, and your perfect orange polos and jeans. Who do you think you are trying to act all perfect and junk?"
"I don't try to act perfect," said Lincoln.
"Liar!"
"I-I really don't,"
Meanwhile inside the house, Lori was walking through the dining room texting her beloved Bobby Boo Boo Bear when she noticed two of her sisters, Lynn and Lana, looking out the window.
"What is that weirdo up to now?" Lynn asked out loud.
"Looks like Lincoln is about to get beat up by a girl," chuckled Lana.
"Oh boy," groaned Lynn. "Better go out there and white knight the white hair."
"Hang on." Lori stopped, looking up from her phone. "Lincoln? Interacting with a girl? O.M.G.! This could be his first kiss!"
"I think all that cell phone radiation is getting to your head, Lori." said Lynn.
"Yeah," said Lana. "I've seen this girl bullying Lincoln around school for weeks now. She looks to be bad news."
"Oh please," said Lori. "When a girl picks on a boy that only ever means she likes him and literally nothing else."
Lynn and Lana looked at each other, not convinced.
"I know these things guys, after all I am the oldest. And I for one am not going to miss my little brother's first ki-"
DING
Lori looked back at her phone. "Oh Boo Boo Bear, you're so romantic." And with that, the teen was absorbed back into her device. She exited the dining room typing away on her phone screen.
Lynn and Lana turned back toward the window and continued to watch.
"Alright I'm through messing around, say goodnight lame-o!" Ronnie Anne raised a fist and Lincoln cringed his mouth and eyes.
"Lincoln!" called a voice.
The two glanced toward the road to see Clyde running toward them. The boy fell to his knees and wheezed for a few moments. "I-I have an idea for how can-"
"Zip it four eyes!" spat Ronnie Anne.
Lincoln, now growing a bit angry, spoke up again. "Hey, don't call him four eyes. It's not like it's his fault he needs glasses."
"If you don't want me calling him four eyes, then let's make him two eyes." said Ronnie Anne. She let go of Lincoln and walked over to Clyde who was still on his knees lightly panting. She ripped the glasses off of Clyde's face, dropped them on the ground and stomped on them.
Lincoln was now even more mad. "Ronnie Anne, that was-" he stopped mid sentence as Ronnie Anne pressed her palm into Clyde's forehead, sending him falling over backwards onto the sidewalk.
"Ow!" groaned Clyde.
Ronnie Anne let out a laugh.
Lincoln looked over to see his best friend on the ground, dazed and in pain. He then focused on Ronnie Anne. Her stupid face, laughing at the misery of someone else. Basking in it no less. At that moment, something inside the white haired boy snapped. His usual pacifistic nature was suddenly gone, and he balled a fist and hauled back.
POW!
Ronnie Anne flew back, landing hard on the ground. Confused as to what happened for a moment, the Latina sat up and wiped blood from her lip with her index finger. "You punched me? You can't punch a girl!"
"Punch a girl?" scoffed Lincoln. "Punch a girl!? You're not a girl! You're a troll! You're a demon! You're the unholy being of this universe. The spawn of Satan himself!"
"Okay Mr. Catholic, let's not-"
"No! Stop right there!" said Lincoln assertively. "You need to stop everything you are doing! Stop stealing my lunch money! Stop pulling incredibly mean pranks on me! Stop bullying me!"
"But Lincoln," said Ronnie Anne, making herself look more sympathetic. "I only do those things to try and get your attention."
Lincoln slightly tilted his head to the side.
"And I want your attention because… I like you."
Lincoln's expression softened for a moment, then hardened right back up. "You really think I'm dumb enough to fall for that nonsense? Why would I ever want to be with someone who has made my life a living hell for the last several weeks?"
Ronnie Anne paused. "Uh-"
"You are not guilt tripping me, you are not going to spin this around to make yourself look like the victim!" shouted Lincoln, "You are a cold, mean, and heartless bully, and I want nothing to do with you!"
Ronnie Anne now stood up. She almost looked afraid, and for a moment Lincoln could have sworn he saw a tear forming in one of her eyes. But only for a moment. She stared at him completely silent for a few seconds.
Lincoln aggressively pointed toward the road. And at last, Ronnie Anne walked away, hands stuffed into hoodie pockets and head slightly bowed. The white haired boy watched his bully walk down the road until she was out of sight. In the moment he felt he may have been a little harsh on her. But at the same time, it also felt kind of good. He finally gave her a piece of his mind, as well as a small taste of her own medicine. Maybe now she would think twice before inflicting pain and misery onto others.
Lincoln was pulled out of his thoughts by a hand grabbing his ankle. "Ah!" he jumped, looking down to see Clyde, bent down on his hands and knees groping around like a blind person. Things with Ronnie Anne had gotten so heated, Lincoln for a little while forgot Clyde was even still here. "Come on buddy, let's get you inside. You can borrow Lisa's old pair of glasses for now." He reached out and grabbed the hand of his best friend.
Lincoln walked inside the Loud house, holding Clyde's hand and guiding him along. As he stepped through the foyer, he turned to the dining room doorway to see Lynn and Lana staring at him with slack jaws. "What?" he asked.
That evening, Lincoln laid in his bed reflecting on what had happened earlier that day. He finally stood up to his bully. After weeks of torment, he showed her the old what for. Had he been too cruel? Maybe when he called her the spawn of Satan, that was a bit over the top. But what he said needed to get his point across. He could not just blindly throw punches and expect that to yield favorable results. Nevertheless, punching her, causing her to fall over backwards, causing her to leak a little blood from her lip, it felt… empowering.
Lincoln looked down at his fist, rotating it around and examining it as if it were a first edition Ace Savvy comic. "The human hand sure is a powerful tool," he mused.
Then an awful thought came into Lincoln's head. What if what he had done did not solve the problem? What if it had only fanned the flames? What if Ronnie Anne was now even more angry and spiteful toward him? What if when he arrived at school tomorrow, she would have a whole army of bullies ready to pound him to a pulp?
Little did Lincoln know just yet, what he had done would lead to something far worse than getting whaled on by a group of elementary school brutes. And that's when it came. The sound of his oldest sister angrily shouting his name from down the hall. "Oh boy, what is it this time?"
Lincoln stood up and opened his bedroom door to see Lori already on the other side, staring daggers down at him. "What did you do to Bobby's little sister!" she hissed.
"Bobby's little sister?"
"Yes! You're little friend you were playing with in the yard today, Ronnie Anne, is Bobby's little sister!"
Lincoln let out a groan. "That figures."