Chapter 13 – Walla Walla Bing Bang

Leah was in Sarah Jane's sitting room, passing time by playing with her toys as the TV buzzed with some children's program on CBeebies behind her. She was trying to play the Mr Dinosaur and Mr Bunny game, but it wasn't the same as when her Daddy did it. He always knew what to do and say, but she couldn't do it the same way that he did.

Now both her Mummy and Daddy were gone, and she felt very alone. They had promised that they'd never go away, and they had both gone back on that promise. Were they ever going to come back? Or were they going to leave her here forever? Were they in the same place as Granny? Maybe she would only ever see them on the TARDIS monitor, now...

She was distracted from thinking as suddenly there was a knock at the door and Auntie Sarah rushed past her in a blur to answer, pulling it open.

"Oh, Phil," her Auntie said. "Thank you so much for agreeing to do this."

"Well, I had nothing to do anyway," a man's voice answered with a slightly nervous laugh as the door closed again and her Auntie and a blond-haired man entered the living room.

"Leah, I've just got to pop out for a couple of hours so Mr Rhodes is going to look after you for a while, is that okay?" Auntie Sarah asked, kneeling down next to the girl.

Leah nodded, and Auntie Sarah gave her a quick hug before getting to her feet.

"Well, have fun you two. I'll be back before five, Phil."

"Right you are," Mr Rhodes replied as Sarah quickly rushed out of the room and the front door clicked closed.

Leah looked up at the strange new man who seemed slightly awkward. He looked around for a moment, before suddenly extended his hand to the girl.

"Phil Rhodes, pleased to meet you," he said.

Leah looked at his hand, then at him, and then looked away. "Can you play the Mr Dinnysaur Mr Bunny game?" she asked.

"Err... no," Mr Rhodes replied, blushing slightly.

There was more silence.

"I could give it a try?" Mr Rhodes quickly followed up, laughing nervously.

"Okay," Leah said, handing him the appropriate puppets. He took them, for a moment confused before he slipped them onto his hands and began to speak between them in a squeaky voice.

"Hello Mr Bunny! Hello Mr Dinosaur! How are you today? I am fine, thank you! That's splendid to hear, Mr Bunny, and yourself? I am fine too..."

Leah stared at him, completely un-entertained. Mr Rhodes looked at her, panicking slightly before he had an idea.

"Mr Dinosaur!" he squeaked. "Do you think Leah can spell cat? Let's start her off... C..."

Leah stared at him, still bored. "C, A, T," she said, sounding very disinterested.

"Well done, Leah!" Mr Rhodes praised. "And we'll be super impressed the day you learn to spell catastrophic! But that won't be for a while yet, so..."

"C, A, T, A, S, T, R, O, P, H, I, C," Leah said with no hesitation.

Mr Rhodes stared at her. "Well aren't you a bright button!" he finally squeaked after a long silent pause. "But can you count to ten?"

Leah stared at him again, still very unimpressed. "Can we not play this anymore?"

Mr Rhodes looked deflated, but all the same, set the puppets down. "So, I've heard your Daddy has a very important job."

"He saves the Universe," Leah replied.

Mr Rhodes laughed. "Of course he does," he said.

"But not Sundays and Wednesdays cos they're playdays, and we practise sums and words on Fridays."

"I see," Mr Rhodes said, still smiling.

"And Daddy says he's gonna teach me his lan-gudge on Monday mornings," Leah said excitedly.

"His language?" Mr Rhodes repeated. "What country does he come from?"

"Gallifrey."

Mr Rhodes frowned. Must be some remote island somewhere. "So what's he doing at the moment?"

"He's saving Mummy from loads of rhinos with guns."

He laughed again. "Yes, those rhinos with guns are very nasty, aren't they."

"They're scary," Leah said quietly, recalling the chaos when her Daddy had been shot.

Mr Rhodes laughed again.

Leah stared at him, tears in her eyes. "Why you laughing? They're real!"

"Oh I'm sorry," Mr Rhodes said, still smiling. "Of course they're real, Leah," he said, somewhat insincerely.

"But they are!" Leah protested, looking as though she were about to cry.

"Oh what a brilliant imagination you have!" Mr Rhodes said gleefully, ruffling her hair.

Leah suddenly stopped being sad and instead got incredibly annoyed as she smoothed down her hair indignantly. "They are real!"

"What other animals have guns, then?" Mr Rhodes asked, smiling encouragingly.

Leah stared at him again. "That's silly. Animals don't have guns."

Mr Rhodes blinked. "Umm... no."

Leah stared at him some more, as if silently judging him with those small deep brown eyes. "I'm thirsty."

Mr Rhodes was glad of the distraction as he quickly got to his feet. "What would you like?"

"Can I have some milk, please?"

"Of course," he replied, fast disappearing into the kitchen.

The Doctor had been dragged into a tiny dank cell, his hands clamped to the wall and his legs fixed to the ground. They weren't taking any chances. Because he hadn't brought Leah with him they were going to interrogate him, and with the corruption he'd seen in the court alone he knew they weren't going to play fair.

But he also knew that despite anything they did to him, he wasn't going to say where she was.

And why had Rose been the one prosecuting him? Why had she not said anything? The Shadow Proclamation had done something to her, he knew it.

But now would he ever see Rose again?

Even Houdini hadn't taught him how to get out of situations of this magnitude, so he just sat there with his eyes closed, still trying to work it all out. It was a few minutes until he heard the heavy sound of synchronised Judoon footsteps, and the door unbolted. He opened his eyes to find three of them staring at him from above, one of them holding a document.

"Doctor," it gruffed, reading from the page. "You have twenty four hours to tell the Shadow Proclamation the whereabouts of the child hybrid. After this length of time the Proclamation will invoke article 11 of the Shadow Proclamation, which outlines the lawful use of excessive force to prosecuted felons under charges of great magnitude. Do you wish you impart information?"

"No, thank you," the Doctor replied, sounding very disinterested.

"You will be approached again in one hour."

"See you then," the Doctor replied cheerily.

The Judoon said nothing more, two of the three marching out of the door. The other one with a helmet on stood still for a moment before suddenly turning on its heel and marching over to the Doctor, kneeling down. It outstretched a hand, and for a moment the Doctor half expected a punch in the face but instead the hand reached out to cup his cheek.

"Jack?" he whispered.

The Judoon helmet gave one quick, sharp nod. He felt something being pressed into his hand and a quiet voice came through the helmet.

"Floor 5, room 39."

The Doctor nodded as Jack got up and turned, disappearing out the door. Seconds later it bolted shut.

The Doctor looked at the thing in his hand, and breathed a sigh of relief. The sonic screwdriver. He grinned, buzzed his hands and feet free, before jumping up and brushing himself down. He moved over to the door and scoured the exterior through the porthole window, before buzzing the door and moving off.

Due to the amount of times he'd been in this kind of situation before, the Doctor reached floor five within ten minutes. He knew he had to work quickly, he only had an hour until the Proclamation realised he had gone – one hour to find Rose, Jack and Martha and the TARDIS – which was fifty minutes, now.

Floor five seemed to be absolutely packed, tens of lifeforms rushing around in white uniforms, pushing wheelchairs and carrying metal trays of equipment in and out of doors. Was this the hospital floor? Was this where Rose was? Only one way to find out. And if he walked out like this he would surely be noticed.

He spotted a wheelchair just across the corridor, and an indent in the wall directly opposite. He covertly glanced around for any form of surveillance before diving into the indent, whipping off his jacket and dumping it on the floor. He unfastened the buttons on his shirt and redid did three of them up wrongly, before pulling his tie up and tightening it around his head. He took off one of his socks and shoes and threw that in the corner too, and then tucked his trouser leg into the sock he was wearing and pulling up one of his sleeves. He glanced down at himself, and hummed approvingly. Certified lunatic.

He was about to move off when he realised he didn't have his sonic screwdriver. He retrieved it from his abandoned jacket, and then shoved it into his boxers. He rolled back his shoulders, assuming the appropriate stance before stepping out and lumbering to the wheelchair.

He finally dropped into the chair and wheeled himself towards the mass of crowd. Several people looked at him oddly, so he looked back at them with wide staring eyes and giggled insanely. He parked himself in the middle of the crowd, looking around before he closed his eyes and started to dance to utterly no music.

It wasn't long until someone noticed him and he felt a tap on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see a nurse staring down at him.

"Sir? Are you all right?" she asked.

"I love this song!" the Doctor yelled happily, still dancing. "Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing bang! Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing bang!"

"Yes, sir," the nurse said kindly, staring at him with her eyebrows raised. "Can you tell me what ward you were in?"

"I can't hear you!" the Doctor shouted loudly. "You'll have to turn down the music!"

"Of course, sir," the nurse said calmly, taking the handles of his wheelchair and pushing him through the crowds towards the reception desk, calling over one of the other nurses.

"One's escaped from psychiatrics," she said.

"Psychiatrics?!" the Doctor yelled over his imaginary music. "I think I went there on holiday once!"

"Do you know your name, sir?" the nurse on the other side of the desk asked, checking the data terminal.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it!" the Doctor sang in reply, intently looking at the map on the wall.

"No, then," the nurse said to herself, both of the nurses now deeply engrossed in what was on the data terminal. The Doctor took his opportunity, checking one last time the quickest route to room 39 from where he was before glancing at the oblivious nurses, and slipping into the crowd.

He adjusted himself to look respectable on the way. By the time he had emerged into the rows of rooms numbered 30-40 he looked vaguely sane, and was on high alert. From the signs he knew this wing was for "conditional case therapy". Rose was here. What did conditional case therapy actually mean?

It was dark silent in this wing of the hospital – he couldn't see any medical staff around. And to add to that, blue light seemed to be emitting from the rooms' tiny windows. This was not good. He didn't even need to consult his 'not good' instinct to know it was not good.

All the same, he moved quietly up the wing, checking the door numbers as he progressed. Thirty-six ... thirty-seven ... thirty-eight ... thirty-nine.

He checked the surrounding area for any unwanted onlookers, before pulling back the bolt and stepping inside, eyes adjusting before he suddenly caught sight of his wife lying on the bed facing away from him.

"Rose!" he called lowly, closing the door quietly behind him. Instantly she turned over, her eyes lighting up. He ran over to her and practically threw himself on her, holding her tightly. "Leah's safe, I promise, sorry it took so long." He kissed her, but she didn't seem to be kissing him back. He pulled way, looking at her in confusion. She gestured to her mouth. The Doctor frowned, reaching up to examine her mouth. He tried pulling apart her lips, but it was as though they were stuck together ...

He whipped out the sonic screwdriver, running it over her lips. Confirmed presence of dentadhe paste ... Otherwise known as gum glue. The Doctor stared in absolute horror at her. Dentadhe paste was only used medically for injuries and conditions that required complete immobilisation of the jaw for recovery.

Suddenly everything made sense. To make it look good the Shadow Proclamation had listed Rose, the defendant's wife, as the prosecution, and in the court room she would have been the only one with both the power and the will to stop proceedings. So they had quite literally made her keep her mouth shut, using methods that were equated to torture – and completely against their own laws.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor muttered, kissing her again and pressing his forehead to hers. "Talk in your mind."

A mess of clashing thoughts came through, muddled and panicked.

"No, think the words," the Doctor said calmly. "You'll get the hang of it."

"Doctor."

"That's it," he encouraged.

"I couldn't stop them."

"It's not your fault," he replied, wrapping his arms around her. "This is beyond corrupt."

"Where's Leah?"

"Safe," he replied. "But we have about forty minutes until they realise I've gone."

"Get out of here."

"I'm not leaving you again," he said calmly. "You're coming with me."

"I can't leave."

"Why not?"

In reply she held up her arm, and he saw a metal ring around her wrist. He tried the sonic on it, but it was deadlocked. His hearts sank.

"Is the perimeter electrified?" he asked quietly.

"Yes."

He nodded in acknowledgement, but could feel himself burning up with resentment. If he couldn't remove the metal band, there was absolutely no way he could get her out. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Keep Leah safe. Good luck."

"I've got forty minutes. I'm not leaving you yet," the Doctor said.

Rose coaxed him to sit on the bed, straddling him to hug him as tightly as she could. He held her in return, but her hands were wandering up his back, and she pressed a finger straight between his shoulder blades.

He squirmed, pulling back to rest his forehead on hers again. "Seriously?" he asked. "Now? Here?"

"Why not?"

"Kind of a weird place, isn't it? Does gum glue and an electrified perimeter turn you on?"

"No, you do."

"But I don't have my notebook," the Doctor protested. "I'll be all out of order."

She pressed into his back again, as if trying to hurry him up.

"Okay, okay, I'm doing it," the Doctor said, pulling off his trousers obediently and getting on with it.

A/N: Welcome to my brain. How are you settling in? :o