Chapter 15 – Granny Jones
The Doctor got changed back into a brown suit, converse and his coat and made sure Leah was fed while he waited for Jack. Martha had opted to go and help Torchwood trace the parcel's origin, leaving the Doctor and Leah to monitor the Earth news.
So much for appreciation. He'd saved this planet more times than he could remember and at the first sign of trouble they had issued a global alert to find him and his two-year-old daughter. With the Judoon searching for him and every pair of eyes of humanity also searching for him, he was truly a fugitive on this tiny blue planet he loved so much.
The Master was his only chance. So long as he could convince the Master to protect Leah, he would be free to go back to the Shadow Proclamation to try and sort this all out. He didn't quite know how yet, but he'd figure it out. He was good at that.
But the Shadow Proclamation had gone too far. They'd corrupted the trial, stopped Rose talking, kept her imprisoned and now they had just openly broadcasted a lightly disguised threat to a level five planet that was only just beginning to accept the existence of aliens. They weren't the police anymore. They were all criminals. And the Doctor knew that if he didn't sort them out, they were never going to leave him and his family alone. They'd be fugitives for the rest of their lives. He'd probably never see Rose again...
He just hoped the Master would for once in his life do something nice.
Jack came into the room holding a piece of paper, grinning. The Doctor looked up.
"Did you find him?"
Jack beamed. "You're gonna love this. It was sent from a place called Daufor."
"Where's that?"
"Just north of here in Wales, about 150 miles away. Very, very remote. I've checked the local directory and I've got a house address."
The Doctor stared at him. "He lives in Wales," he surmised disbelievingly.
Jack grinned. "And the best bit? He's going by the name Harold Saxon."
"... And no one's noticed he's the dead ex-Prime Minister?"
"Oh come on, you know the UK," Jack said. "If you were at any point in time a British Prime Minister and you don't want anyone to recognise you – go to Wales."
The Doctor had to concede. "All right. But I can't go in the TARDIS, the Shadow Proclamation will be able to detect it the minute I'm in flight."
"I'll drive you, it's a four hour trip," Jack said. "But you'll need a disguise."
The Doctor's brow furrowed. "Will I?"
"There's going to be Judoon and police all along the roads. The moment anyone recognises you, we don't stand a chance," Jack pointed out truthfully.
"Yeah," the Doctor said after a moment, nodding. "What should I wear?"
"I'll get you something," Jack assured him. "Get ready to leave, Mickey's scattered signals so we've got another ten minutes, but then they'll be here."
PC Steve Lockley had just begun his late shift of the newly erected police check along the A470 into Gelilydan. He wasn't fully convinced, to be honest. If this alien murderer thing was hiding on Earth, why the heck would it be driving a car into north Wales?
But it seemed serious. The North Wales Police were on red alert, as was every single other police force in the world. At first the transmission had seemed like a joke, but it was about the time the spaceships landed and rhinos with guns stepped out that Steve had had to admit that maybe it might be real.
The existence of aliens was still a very new thing to truly accept into his mind-scape, but frankly, nothing could surprise him these days. What with shop window dummies coming to life, and that spaceship flying into Big Ben, then the rock ship on Christmas day, those weird metal robots that appeared along with the ghosts, the Christmas Star shooting people, that hospital apparently going to the moon, the weird thing with that crazy Lazarus scientist, the white blobs, ATMOS, Earth moving, the disappearing bus, that fizzy drink and not to mention all the weird rumours from Cardiff... he was surprised the aliens hadn't just walked into his house and shagged his wife in front of him.
But here he was, checking cars for a fugitive alien. They didn't even have a photo to go on, but he assumed he was looking for something with tentacles – or at least something sticking out of its head.
A black SUV pulled up at the checkpoint and he halted it, walking over to the window. It came down to reveal an old woman in a shawl that was covering her head, wearing black sunglasses and a blanket over her legs in the passenger seat, with the driver a youthful looking man with black hair wearing a very distinctive World War 2 coat. In the back was a young girl with brown hair, apparently fast asleep.
"Good evening sir, ma'am, can I take your names, please?" he said, bringing out his notebook.
"I'm Jack Jones, this is my Grandma, Audrey Jones, and that's my daughter in the back, Lillith Jones," man in the driving seat said with a charismatic smile.
"Very nice to meet you, young man!" the old woman croaked, extending out a feeble gloved hand.
"You too, Mrs Jones," Steve replied, lightly shaking the hand. "Sorry to hold up your journey, but with the alien fugitive we've been instructed to check all cars at this checkpoint."
"Oh those aliens!" Mrs Jones croaked, exasperated. "They're bloody everywhere now, aren't they? I never had all these aliens back in my day!"
"You lived through both World Wars, didn't you Gran?" Mr Jones said happily.
"Oh really?" Steve asked, interested. "How old are you, Mrs Jones?"
"I'm 94-years-old!" Mrs Jones told him happily.
"You're very sprightly for such a great age, Mrs Jones," Steve noted, smiling.
"Eat your greens, young man!" Mrs Jones told him sternly. "I wouldn't want a handsome young man such as yourself to lose that face!"
"Oh Gran, stop embarrassing me," Mr Jones said, facepalming.
"Just because I'm 94 I can't admire a handsome young man?"
"I'm sorry," Mr Jones said apologetically to the officer. "She's always like this."
"Gosh, he's rude isn't he!" Mrs Jones said, lightly slapping her grandson around the head who winced and rubbed his head. "I'll tell you why, they just don't raise 'em the same way these days, do they! Back in my day if I went out of order my Father would give me a caning, I can tell you! Why, I remember when Jack came out of his Mother, she was screaming and bits of things were dripping from..."
"Gran," Mr Jones interrupted. "I don't think the nice police officer wants to hear about this, does he?"
"Oh," Mrs Jones said with a sigh. "People just don't have time for a chat these days, do they? Back in my day..."
Mr Jones cleared his throat, speaking over his grandmother to Steve. "Are we okay to go through, sir?"
Steve looked between the currently ranting grandmother, her grandson and the sleeping toddler in the back. "Yes, you're all cleared. Have a safe journey."
"Thank you," Mr Jones replied with a smile and Steve moved to lift the barrier, letting them drive on. Even as the car moved off, he could still her Mrs Jones ranting away about how rude it had been to pull away without giving her the chance to say good bye to the nice policeman. He smiled, shaking his head in utter bemusement before he moved to the next waiting car.
Jack was laughing uncontrollably, feeling like his lungs were about to burst as they carried on to Daufor.
"Oh God," he croaked through the laughter. "You're a genius."
The Doctor grinned, adjusting his shawl. "I'll have you know I won an Oscar once."
"Yeah right," Jack scoffed, still laughing.
"I did!" the Doctor insisted.
"Daddy?" a voice suddenly came from the backseat, and the Doctor looked over the back of the seat to see her sitting up, rubbing her eyes. "Daddy, I want to go to bed."
"Did you try sleeping in the car?"
"Not comfy," she said quietly, looking slightly teary.
"Jack, can you pull over a sec?" the Doctor asked and Jack nodded, pulling into the next side road to find a conveniently placed pub car park. He stopped and the Doctor got out, moving to the boot to retrieve the cushion and the blanket before climbing into the middle seat next to Leah, belting himself up beside her and covering her with the blanket. He placed the cushion against his side for her to safely lean against, wrapping his arms around her to protect her.
She snuggled against the cushion, clinging onto his arm.
"How's that?" he asked.
"Comfy," she said, closing her eyes.
"All right?" Jack asked.
"Yep," the Doctor replied, and Jack pulled off again.
"Not long to go," Jack assured them. "About an hour away."
"Can I have a story?" Leah asked sleepily, still holding onto her Dad's arm.
"What kind of story?"
"A you and Mummy one."
He mused for a moment. "Where did we get to?"
"Mummy got lost in the void thingy," she said.
He nodded. "Well, after she got lost, I was a bit sad so I spent a long time trying to make myself happy. That's when I met your Auntie Martha, and she is brilliant, but I couldn't stop thinking about your Mummy. It took a very long time until I saw her again, but then the Daleks... You remember the Daleks?"
She nodded.
"Well the big boss man of the Daleks was trying to destroy the Universe, and to do that he'd just pick up the Earth and moved it somewhere else. I got a bit lost trying to find it, but when I did it was a bit damaged. So I was standing in a street trying to figure out what was going on, when I turned, and suddenly I saw your Mummy, standing there in the darkness looking straight at me..." He paused, gazing into the distance with a smile on his face. "She smiled, and she just seemed to light up like an angel. She was so pretty that I forgot how to breathe for a moment. Eventually I realised I had feet, so I started running to her, and she ran to me, then..." he trailed off.
"Then what?" Leah urged, blinking her eyes and looking up at him.
"We saved the Universe together of course," he said, grinning. "Then I decided that I was never going to lose her ever again. A little bit later, we had you."
"How?"
"What?"
"How did you have me?"
The Doctor heard a suppressed snigger from the front that could only belong to a listening Jack Harkness. He swallowed slightly, thinking hard before looking back to Leah, who was staring at him expectantly.
"Well," he started, then paused. Then opened his mouth. Then shut it again. Then started talking without his brain really agreeing to anything. "Basically, when a man and a woman love each other very, very much, they..." Then he stopped, and looked at her, utter relief spreading over his face. "Hey wait, you're supposed to be going to sleep."
"But Daddy..." Leah began.
"No more questions!" he insisted. "Go to sleep, we'll be there soon."
"Okay," Leah replied, snuggling against the pillow again and closing her eyes.
The Doctor internally breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well done," Jack commented.
"Don't know what you mean," the Doctor replied with a sniff as the car drove on.
An hour later, they pulled up outside a house in Daufor, and Jack pointed.
"That one," he said.
The Doctor nodded, taking off his disguise. He checked Leah was comfortable before he jumped out of the SUV and leant in Jack's window.
"Give me fifteen minutes," he said.
"Here," Jack said, digging into his pocket and bringing out the phone that had originally belonged to Martha, handing it to the Doctor. "I'll call you at quarter past if you haven't come out."
The Doctor nodded, shoving it into his inside jacket pocket.
"Good luck," Jack said. "And by the way - I still think you're crazy."
"I know," the Doctor replied. "Thanks."
He turned on his heel, checked for any potential onlookers, and started up the path to the Master's front door.
A/N: I'm probably just amusing myself, here :P